The only problem I see is some minor "Idiot Ball" plot elements and an In-joke plot not a lot of people will get. [Not including the in-joke character only two people here get.]
*I* enjoyed it. There's just some folks won't like that it's a "pseudo-origin" story with no way out of Paragon. Of course these are the same people who deride "Scratching Post" as cliche and Mary Sue.
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''
-- James Nicoll
*I* enjoyed it. There's just some folks won't like that it's a "pseudo-origin" story with no way out of Paragon. Of course these are the same people who deride "Scratching Post" as cliche and Mary Sue.
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''
-- James Nicoll