To whom it may concern

[Terrenceknight]

As of Sunday July 5th after the VIIOR 2.0 ITF I will be takeing a week..maybe 2 off from CoX. I need to just get away from things in general. I'm Sure
Several of you have noticed my change in temperment for the worse, and I do sincerly apologise if I've aggrivated or annoyed anyone with my recient moments
of Vitrol and complaining. So yeah, I'm Sorry..I don't mean to be so angry and snippy when there isn't really any reason to be. Prime example being
the Katie TF a lil while ago, its a game..and it seems like my temperment is makeing things difficult to keep stuff fun, it seems like even minor things have
been makeing me so furious lately that I feel I'd detonate on someone who certainly doesn't deserve it if even one wrong thing was said at the wrong
time *sighs*

So I'll be takeing a little time off to try and figure out if I'm ready to play again without risking hurting anyones feelings or angering any of you
by something I may say in frustration, I came to this realization Dureing Said Katie, then reaffirmed by yesterday and today by playing my stalker..I enjoy the
game alot, I love hanging out and just being around to read chat, everyone is a blast to be around. I just .. I feel horrible after each time I snap because I
know theres no need for it..its not justified, but I can't help myself at the moment. I'll come back in a week after the ITF Hopefuly I'll be more
stable by then.

Sincerly

Terrence

[Foxboy]

Take all the time you need to get your head straight. We'll keep a spot open for ya when you get back.
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll

[Sofaspud]

I'll be sad to see you go, Terr, but glad when you come back.

Y'know, I dunno what triggered this. I wasn't along for the events you describe. But I'll point out that, from my perspective, you've been
-less- vitriolic, -less- angry, than you used to be lately, and not the other way around.

Perhaps you're just reading too much into a momentary lapse?

--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs

[Wiregeek]

I'll try and swing back in when you return, we'll go smash some romans to celebrate
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

[Niteflier]

Terr, if you feel the need to take a break, you don't need to explain yourself.

Take the time you need to feel comfortable playing again. We'll be here, waiting for you.

[firvulag]

What they said. If you aren't having fun or somethings up, take some time. We'll still be here when you get back. The doors are hard to open with
the straight jackets on :p

--

#27. Abe didn't think the Washington Memorial jokes were funny the first time.

-- 50 Things Hexane has learned since joining the Infamous

[Terrenceknight]

Mm maybe spud..but I don't see ya on too much as of late *grin*, especialy last week or so, but I've been noticing this -alot- I've been on the
edge of explosion and flopping over it a few times, like I say You wern't there on the channle when we had to ditch the Katie hannon TF..it wasn't
pleasent in legendary chat or party chat, at least I know from my perspective i was really bad, rage quitting for a while, then other minor things that
-shouldn't- bug me..seriously Piss me off *sighs* Espeicialy my Stalker that I rolled up yesterday @_@. All I know is i've been -unstable- since
dropping one of my Anti-depressants because the doc wanted to see if it would make me less sluggish and needing to sleep upwards of 4 hours dureing the day
every day. Unfortunatly it seems to have..some undesired side effects to say the least. Now I'm in the process to trying to make another appointment to ask
him to put me back on the meds..or something stronger..maybe some Tranqs..because Honestly I'd much rather be sleepy..than be angry and snippy at my
friends.. y'know

[Sofaspud]

Well, last time I was on with you was... hmm... I dunno, a couple days ago? Maybe you were still on the meds then.

I mean, we had a rational discussion about powersets -- involving Willpower, even! -- and you didn't descend into frothing rage. That's a good sign in
my book. *grin*

Seriously, though. Sounds like the meds were helping, and hopefully the doc has an option for you if the meds aren't them any more. I live with a
diagnosed depressive, and I totally understand what you're talking about. My wife is controlling hers without specific anti-D meds at the moment, but she also needs the nap during the day and is on light sleep pills at night to make sure she actually,
y'know, sleeps. Which her doc says is a common problem with the condition.

Like everyone's said, we'll be here when you get back. Take some time, take a deep breath, get some extra sleep, relax. It's cool, man.

--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs

[Ankhani]

As a bit of courteous advice, the best treatment (at least as good as medication) for mild-to-moderate depression is good exercise and regular sleep. That is
the word according to several of my Psych classes, though if your psychiatrist believes you should be on medication, don't worry about me. If you've
got a gym or fitness center or something around, go see if you can work out some. Take a jog, or walk even.

If you've got the time to spare, it's worth a shot. Good/moderate exercise is almost always a good thing, supposing you don't overwork or injure
yourself. Of course, I'd advise you to listen to your doctor (and/or other professionals) and take my advice with a grain of salt, but I'm at least
somewhat in that field, if only learning.
---

The Master said: "It is all in vain! I have never yet seen a man who can perceive his own faults and bring the charge home against himself."

>Analects: Book V, Chaper XXVI

[Wiregeek]

we have added a 3 mile walk to our daily routine, and it's done wonders for my mental state (and my waistline!)
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

[Bob Schroeck]

Do what you need to do, Terr, we'll be here waiting when you get back.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Terrenceknight]

Thanks for the encouragment, Like I say..it should be bout a week..but I'll take longer..or heck maybe I'll cut it short if my brain decides to play
nice. I'm not one for going out..at all, I can't tolerate being in public..being around people and noises, its why I was on medical leave in the first
place Sever Social and Sound Anxiety, ..these other issues have come up..in the meantime, I guess all the time off of work has given me some time to think and
examine my own mental wellbeing, and am finding it...very lacking reciently, but as a friend has told me..-knowing- I have a problem... is a good thing..at
least its given me some warning signs to watch out for like my temper for example..I at least can Realize I'm not being myself from time to time...and can
apologise accordingly *grin*

As it is I've -never- had a psych evaluation, You wouldn't believe it but we actualy don't have a psychiatrist in town here, someone comes in once
a month from what I hear, the ones we had both quit and retired lol. So its..rather difficult to have someone pick at my brain lol. I've been trying to go
to the mental health clinic in town here, but its open one day a week for walk in paitences, and the waiting list..last time I checked was a few months, tho
I'll be going in on thursday when its open to try and get an 1 on 1 appointment with a therapist. Now as I say Because of my Anxiety I can't handle
being outside or in public for too long..I really need to stay home with peace and quiet. So I think I'll be calling my doc since He doesn't have any
open timeslots for me till sometime late august when he gets back from his vacation. So if nothing else..I'll ask for Tranqs to keep me calm, even if it
means being more tired and sleeping. Because..as I said above..I'd rather be dopey and Calm..Than Aggrivated and awake lol.

If nothing else getting a chance to vent like this helps every little bit So i do appriciate the support. I tend to generaly keep to myself when things bother
me till I kinda just break ^_^'' I need to get out of that habit and if nothing else..just get it off my shoulders by talking bout it , y'know?

[Ankhani]

Pity you're all the way in Canada. Likely have different licensing practices or I'd head up there once I was all learned and help out. (Though it would
be considered a conflict of interest for me to actually 'see' you.)

It is good to talk about things with friends. What is called 'Psycho-social support' use it, it is good for you. That's what friends are for.
---

The Master said: "It is all in vain! I have never yet seen a man who can perceive his own faults and bring the charge home against himself."

>Analects: Book V, Chaper XXVI

[Vyperpunk]

You take the time to sort out what ya gotta Terr. We loves ya.

[Terrenceknight]

Yeow, tonights ITF reaffirmed my need to get away and calm down, I was spittin fire and aciid and hate by the time we had to quit the Itf..the bloody
ITF!..gah!, pisses me off..Fugging Rommy would not stand still for the life of us..which screwd us soo bad , anyways Thats it for me..Guess I'll see you
all in a week, mayhaps sooner..but no promises...

anyways, Take care all

Terry

[dark seraph]

good luck Terr, hope you feel better soon