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You know you want it, baby.
You know you want it, baby.
#1
Chapter 4 is up on my website.

As always, Forum readers get a 24 head start before I post it to the FFML and other outlets.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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#2
i have to say great chapter bob. how doug is going to deal the thing in pink i can not wait for...you know this means war!!!!!!!!
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#3
Hot damn, that was fun to read, Bob! And I especially loved the bits with Luna, and the final zinger in the end.

I'll do a detailed review later on my second reading, but for now? Bravo! Big Grin
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#4
Nice!

Also, it appears that Doug didn't roll that well on his research check regarding animal magic, if he didn't find any references to parseltongue, or discover that in this world, "wild" owls don't really exist. I was waiting for him to recruit snakes for his spy network, only for it to backfire. Maybe next chapter?
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.
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#5
Well, he was looking for spells, and parseltongue isn't a spell. And I didn't know about that piece, which still doesn't really say there aren't wild owls, just implies that the ones Muggles see flying about are almost certainly post owls.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
 
#6
Well, that was a great chapter. Really liked the way Doug is handling Snape, it's just very, well, Doug like when it comes to handling any problem that he can't pound in the ground; just badger them until they give up.
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#7
Quote:Bob Schroeck wrote:
Well, he was looking for spells, and parseltongue isn't a spell. And I didn't know about that piece, which still doesn't really say there aren't wild owls, just implies that the ones Muggles see flying about are almost certainly post owls.
True, though given his association with metahumans, I would have thought that he would have looked into innate abilities as well.  Whoops.
As for the owl thing, I did mention a few months back in the Pottermore thread, along with the owls using the mystical link between a person's name and the person to find them to deliver the mail.  (Looking back at the Pottermore article, the people who raise the owlets don't actually quite understand how the owls do this, so it is apparently something innate to the birds themselves.)
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.
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#8
Ah, in that case, my apologies. I had completely forgotten about that.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
 
#9
In no particular order:

* Doug has a habit of picking up strays.
* The whole Shirley thing is way funnier than I expected. Big Grin
* Lucius proves that is in fact not as dumb as 99.994% of fanfiction would say he is.
* Damn, Department of Mysteries is hardcore, yo.
* Edgecombe's out? That's a spanner in the canon I don't think I've seen before...
* ...then again maybe not because heeeeeereeee's Delores!
* I don't think I've mentioned this before, but I really like the "Letters from Draco" wrapper as a concept. Draco's POV as an antagonist adds some depth to a story that might otherwise be 100% shenanigans.

A+ would read again looking forward to reading the next chapter before GRRM finishes ASOIAF. Wink
Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery

FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information

"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"
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#10
May I point out that Doug inadvertently changing a nickname retroactively is mildly unsettling?
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#11
Not retroactively. I think the Trio just didn't pay all that much attention to Luna, so it's pure luck they noticed the change in nickname just as it had happened.
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#12
Quote:M Fnord wrote:
* Doug has a habit of picking up strays.
You have no idea. 
Quote:M Fnord wrote:
* Damn, Department of Mysteries is hardcore, yo.
Well, if you were protecting the only clue to the nature of a seismic shift in the destiny of Wizarding Britain from a two-bit government functionary who's more interested in her own personal power than anything else, wouldn't you be? 
Quote:M Fnord wrote:
* Edgecombe's out? That's a spanner in the canon I don't think I've seen before...
And not in my original plans, either... it just happened in the writing, most fortuitously as well because my plans for the DA kind of disposed of the need for her and I had no idea up until that moment what to do with her.
Quote:M Fnord wrote:
* I don't think I've mentioned this before, but I really like the
"Letters from Draco" wrapper as a concept. Draco's POV as an antagonist
adds some depth to a story that might otherwise be 100% shenanigans.
That's turning out to be a common comment, even from prereaders.  Again, it originated kind of as an accident, but I'm really liking what it lets me do.
Quote:M Fnord wrote:
A+ would read again looking forward to reading the next chapter before GRRM finishes ASOIAF. Wink
You see the counter for chapter 5 going up, don't you? 
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
 
#13
I get the feeling that the Department of Mysteries is rather... fed up with the current crop of politicians, and probably is such after many years of vexation from the side of an ever more incompetent and/or corrupt Ministry.
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#14
What happened to the chapter? I noticed it was up too late last night to read it. Got home from work today and the website says:
Quote:Q. How many Webmasters does it take to change a lightbulb?A. 404 (Not found).
I'm sorry, but the page you're looking for doesn't exist, at least not under that name.
Tried going from your link in this thread, from the series page and from the next chapter button in the previous chapter.
----------------------------------------------------

"Anyone can be a winner if their definition of victory is flexible enough." - The DM of the Rings XXXV
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#15
Quote:Which is how I ended up recruiting a herd of sheep-sized  somethings with an omnivore's teeth and short, stubby horns whose  ridged and wrinkled surfaces made them look like someone had  smushed them against the creatures' skulls.
Or, in other words, the horns are crumpled?
I'm surprised I couldn't find a reference to this in the concordance for the chapter.
----------
No, I don't believe the world has gone mad.  In order for it to go mad it would need to have been sane at some point.
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#16
So much glee, Bob. So. Very. Much.
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll
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#17
Shepherd -- not sure why you're getting my 404 page, I just went to the chapter via both the link above and by going to my site's front page and choosing the menu item. No errors either way.

Deadpan -- glad to see someone noticed. Footnoting them in the Concordance would have been giving away the joke.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
 
#18
Quote:Bob Schroeck wrote:
Shepherd -- not sure why you're getting my 404 page, I just went to the chapter via both the link above and by going to my site's front page and choosing the menu item. No errors either way.

Deadpan -- glad to see someone noticed. Footnoting them in the Concordance would have been giving away the joke.
Nope. Tried again. Same error each time. http://www.accessdenied-rms.net/dw8-04.shtml
----------------------------------------------------

"Anyone can be a winner if their definition of victory is flexible enough." - The DM of the Rings XXXV
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#19
I just clicked through that link with no problem. Maybe there's a cache of some sort between your ISP and my host that isn't fully up to date?
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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#20
Bob - I noticed, and filed under 'hey neat,' then went on reading.
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#21
nemonowan Wrote:May I point out that Doug inadvertently changing a nickname retroactively is mildly unsettling?
Hazard Wrote:Not retroactively. I think the Trio just didn't pay all that much attention to Luna, so it's pure luck they noticed the change in nickname just as it had happened.
It's not retroactive, but if you look at the timestamps either there's a date error or something weird is going on:

Doug meets Luna Wrote:Wednesday, September 18, 1995, 6:15 PM
The kids monitor the Ravenclaw Massacree Wrote:Wednesday, September 18, 1995, 7:32 PM
Ron notes that people've been calling Luna Shirley for a while now... where "a while" means approximately an hour? I suspect shenanigans.
Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery

FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information

"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"
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#22
Quote:Bob Schroeck wrote:
Ah, in that case, my apologies. I had completely forgotten about that.
No worries.
On the subject of the Department of Mysteries, were the ash piles the wands of the hired wands, or the hired wands themselves (likely including their wands)?
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.
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#23
Shepherd Wrote:
Quote:Bob Schroeck wrote:Shepherd -- not sure why you're getting my 404 page, I just went to the chapter via both the link above and by going to my site's front page and choosing the menu item. No errors either way.
...
Nope. Tried again. Same error each time. http://www.accessdenied-rms.net/dw8-04.shtml
I'm not having any trouble loading the chapter. Have you tried wiping your browser cache before following the link?
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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#24
Quote:M Fnord wrote:
Quote:nemonowan wrote:
May I point out that Doug inadvertently changing a nickname retroactively is mildly unsettling?
Quote:Hazard wrote:
Not retroactively. I think the Trio just didn't pay all that much attention to Luna, so it's pure luck they noticed the change in nickname just as it had happened.
It's not retroactive, but if you look at the timestamps either there's a date error or something weird is going on:
Quote:Doug meets Luna wrote:
Wednesday, September 18, 1995, 6:15 PM
Quote:The kids monitor the Ravenclaw Massacree wrote:
Wednesday, September 18, 1995, 7:32 PM
Ron notes that people've been calling Luna Shirley for a while now... where "a while" means approximately an hour? I suspect shenanigans.
Why would anyone be surprised about weird name shenanigans in the Potterverse? This is a setting where a guy whose name basically means wolf wolf got bitten by another guy whose name basically means wolf wolf and got turned into a werewolf.
Quote:robkelk wrote:
Quote:Shepherd wrote:
Quote:Bob Schroeck wrote:Shepherd -- not sure why you're getting my 404 page, I just went to the chapter via both the link above and by going to my site's front page and choosing the menu item. No errors either way. ...
Nope. Tried again. Same error each time. http://www.accessdenied-rms.net/dw8-04.shtml
I'm not having any trouble loading the chapter. Have you tried wiping your browser cache before following the link?
Wiped my browser cache twice and still got error messages. Kept trying the page every 15 minutes and eventually got access to the chapter.

By the way Bob, your front page still seems to list the last update as 10 July 2015 (unless my browser is still pulling an old version of the page).
----------------------------------------------------

"Anyone can be a winner if their definition of victory is flexible enough." - The DM of the Rings XXXV
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#25
Shepherd -- that's correct, that's when I last updated the front page. I didn't change it when I added the chapter.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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