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Ch 1. Discussion Thread, Spoiler Warning on the Lid.
Ch 1. Discussion Thread, Spoiler Warning on the Lid.
#1
Quote:I think she was
afraid that if I knew how it worked, my subconscious might change
how it worked, just to spite her.
Magic 8-ball shake says 'not only yes, but very yes'

so far so good..  Poor Doug is showing up just as a lot of fertilizer is becoming airborne, but that's normal for the poor bastard.
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies
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#2
Quote:God's Toothpick was still in its holster

SNERK!!! Just so... Doug. This is, I assume, the wazziz that we see
'bust through' the wards in DW5, and I assume again in
?
Quote:I
flipped up the mollyguard that protected the "Mode Select" switch
and poked it firmly with the tip of my forefinger
This is most famously from 'Star Trek, TMP', though Gryphon of Undocumented Features is the one who really uses it a lot as well
Quote:with its anti-theft systems set to "Fucking ouch!"
Which I assume is just one step short of burn em all and let Hexe sort em out?
Quote:I stopped short and thought about that for a moment. Someone had
deliberately blown up the school?

Cool. I'd always wanted to do that when I was a kid.
Yes, they had to destroy the school to save it!
Quote:"That never worked when Hexe crashed at our shared flat," I
muttered. "She just woke up grouchy."
Prolly cause having
squezed herself down into 'mortal' form, she's forgotten or no longer
has access to whatever godlike power it is that Bell has that makes
wherever she sleeps 'the most comfortable resting place in the world'. 
Or when it happesn she's just too tired to think of it.  or whatever
Quote:"It's
god-stuff. It's probably half-sentient and wanted out for a reason."
Aka, Forshadowing that it knows the reason why Bell gave it to Doug is gonna happen sooner rather than later..
Quote:"Brilliant, just brilliant. The end of the world -- again -- and
no bloody beer..."
Your superior craftsmanship shows again in
how this one sentace manages to perfectly convey all that is Spike at
least as it relates to his interactions with the Scoobeys, et all...
Quote:Illudium Q-36
Not to be confused (like I did) with IllQ-32 better known as Kaboomite...
Quote:"Who does this kind of thing?" I asked, brandishing the newspaper
at Eimi's optical pickup. "I mean, the guy's not been dead long
enough for anyone to take his will in for probate, let alone
begin disposing of his estate."

Eimi nodded slowly. "It's almost as though his death had been a
foregone conclusion from the start."
Umm, yes...  Its a
side effect of  Plotobotium, Bellisarius' Law, and *some other something
who's name escapes me*  Like how the heck do they manage to keep people
moving IN and not OUT cause theres no way the natural birth rate in
this town can keep up with the amount of Vampyric predations described
here.  Well, aside from the cheap rents, etc, though that third example
is what keeps people from noticing that the whole darn town is like a
human roach motel.
Quote:"'Executor' is the more commonly-used term," the lawyer explained
cheerfully.

But not used in Vampyre Central because of the obvious connotations, of course.
Quote:Doc's eyes followed the human with eight -- eight! -- Celestial
Marks on him as he hurried off, a lightly-loaded plastic shopping
bag swinging energetically from one hand. He let out a breath.
From his brief scan, he'd gotten the distinct impression that
some of those Marks, maybe all of them, had been on a hair-trigger.
If he'd approached that young man with anything close
to hostile intent, there was no telling what might have occurred.
He silently gave thanks for his academic nature before segueing
into a vague dread of what would happen the first time that young
man met any of Sunnydale's more powerful -- and more inimical --
nonhuman inhabitants.
Which is WHY Doug doesnt NEED to buy and Ill Q-32...  Those marks make him the Kaboomite of this Universe.  And lets not forget what God's Toothpick probobly is.
Quote:"I should also add that a
little over four years ago there was a noticeable drop in vampire
activity for some reason. And whatever it was, it stuck around --
the death rate now is about half what it was in, say, 1995."
This being the statistical evidence of when Buffy was first 'awakened' and the Scoobey's activites since.
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-

NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children
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#3
Quote: It had been cast or sculpted with an elaborate bas-relief design centered around that old classic, the pentagram-and-goat's-head. Surrounding and interpenetrating the design were hundreds of rune-like characters from no alphabet that I recognized.

... ...

Unsnapping the buckles on my jacket flap, I reached for the indelible marker and the six smooth, round pebbles that I had tucked into my inside breast pocket.

Why do I get the feeling that this is going to be Important somewhere down the line?
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#4
drogan niteflier Wrote:Why do I get the feeling that this is going to be Important somewhere down the line?
Because you've read DWV?
  
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#5
Star Ranger4 Wrote:
Quote:God's Toothpick was still in its holster
SNERK!!! Just so... Doug. This is, I assume, the wazziz that we see 'bust through' the wards in DW5, and I assume again in
?
Yep. And now maybe a couple of veiled references in LoGG might begin to make sense.

(Although I still can't share my best joke about it with anyone but Bob... who I shared it with about a year ago.)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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#6
Quote:SNERK!!! Just so... Doug. This is, I assume, the wazziz that we see 'bust through' the wards in DW5, and I assume again in
Spoiler [-]
The prologue
The prologue is a retelling of a canon sequence in a fifth-season BTVS episode, from a different POV. No element in it comes from elsewhere in the Walk.
Quote:Which I assume is just one step short of burn em all and let Hexe sort em out?
Did you ever see the feature-length version of Mike Jittlov's Wizard of Speed and Time? There's a sequence where he visits a movie studio. He parks his bike out front and sets its antitheft system before going in and taking care of his business. When he comes out, a dozen or so people are connected through a continuous electric current in one huge jittering, sparking chain to one guy who apparently tried to steal the bike.

That's where "fucking ouch" starts.
Quote:Your superior craftsmanship shows again in how this one sentace manages to perfectly convey all that is Spike at least as it relates to his interactions with the Scoobeys, et all...
If Helen hasn't already seen this, I'll point her at it. She wrote all the Spike sequences in this chapter.
Quote:But not used in Vampyre Central because of the obvious connotations, of course.
And also because it's not the term officially used in California. We did research on California probate law, we did.
Quote:This being the statistical evidence of when Buffy was first 'awakened' and the Scoobey's activites since.
"I'll take correct guesses by Star Ranger for five hundred, Alex." Except it's not "awakened" but "moved to Sunnydale". She was awakened a year earlier during the events of an alternate version of the movie, and then spent most of the intervening year in mental institution because she tried to tell her parents about being the Slayer.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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#7
Quote:He was startled at the ease with which it came together –- almost as if his missing four brothers were in fact there, lending their power.
You've got me thinking of the finale to first-season Sailor Moon here...

Quote:(Everywhere I find this style, I should note, it's universally acknowledged to be stereotypically Japanese. This made — and still makes — absolutely no sense to me, because the faces rendered in it rarely if ever look Asian. And needless to say, it bore no resemblance whatsoever to any Japanese commercial art with which I was familiar from Homeline. If you ask me, it looks more like some offshoot of Disney's style than anything even remotely Japanese. But that's neither here nor there.)
I assume you put this in because you actually know the history of that art style.

(For those who don't, the five-cent version: Tezuka-sama was inspired by Disney when he created Astro Boy, and everyone else in Japan was inspired by Tezuka-sama.)

Quote:"I should know better than to give you ideas. Does this mean I have to address you as 'High Programmer' now when you wear a white shirt?"
You should worry when a question like this comes from your friend, computer.

(And I'm guessing Eimi still hasn't convinced Doug to try playing a roleplaying game... Ah, well.)

Quote:"Eimi" and "Noah Scott" and any representations thereof are copyright by and trademarks of Robert Kelk.
And are used with permission. (Just in case I hadn't mentioned that previously.)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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#8
Quote:I assume you put this in because you actually know the history of that art style.
I direct you to the Concordance.
Quote:And are used with permission.
We should probably put that on both that attribution and Chris'.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
 
#9
Bob Schroeck Wrote:I direct you to the Concordance.
Thought so...

Oh, yes: "The chapter titling format for this story, as with many of the other Steps, will be lines from songs."

A line from The Battle Hymn of the Republic: "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah"
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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#10
Not a bad start. A bit heavy on the exposition and setting up parts but the BGC Step also started that way and really picked up as time went on.
---------------
Epsilon
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#11
We set ourselves the challenge of making the story accessible to people who knew one or the other source, but not both, which is why it seems a little heavy on the exposition.

Jess was invaluable in that wise, as she was a Buffy fan (yet one who hadn't seen the fifth season, as she was more into Angel than Buffy herself and stopped watching when Angel got his own series) who hadn't seen any DW before Helen asked her to read the chapter. She gave us wonderful feedback that helped us improve scenes where we both automatically assumed the reader would know who was who.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
 
#12
Quote:Magic 8-ball shake says 'not only yes, but very yes'
Gah, I'm annoyed that my eye slipped over this and I forgot to add it to the Concordance. WG, you probably phrased this deliberately, as Eimi herself also quotes the magic 8-ball, right?
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
 
#13
ha!

no, actually, but I'll bet a dollar I was influenced by Eimi's use of the 8-ball phrase not very earlier..
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies
Reply
 
#14
robkelk Wrote:
Quote:He was startled at the ease with which it came together –- almost as if his missing four brothers were in fact there, lending their power.

You've got me thinking of the finale to first-season Sailor Moon here...
By all the Odd Gods, you're right! How did I not notice that before?
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#15
I really like how you've set up your chess board--I mean story. Smile
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#16
Thank you. Now to write the opening moves.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
 
#17
As always, it's a pleasure to read new DW. I can't comment too much on the Buffy side of things, only having seen the scattered episodes my sister watched when it was still airing, but the DW part was superb. I especially liked all the references to previous walks/steps; they felt natural and not out of place at all. It gave us a good idea of where Doug is now well over a century after where we last saw him in DW V.

Kudos, and congratulations to you and Helen on finally pushing this baby out. I greatly look forward to the rest of the story.
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#18
Regarding the Concordance's link to the Nemesis Staff: I noticed you used the wikia site instead of Paragonwiki. I have heard it said that the wikia site can at times be malware infested, and besides which is no longer updated by the community, whereas P-wiki is.
Here's the link to the P-wiki Nemesis Staff page: http://wiki.cohtitan.com/wiki/Nemesis_Staff
Edit to add: Oh and of course, the chapter itself is excellent and very much not an April Fool.
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#19
Huh, I hadn't even noticed I'd used the Wikia site. Thanks for the new link.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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