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How DOES this doohickey work?
How DOES this doohickey work?
#1
Song: Operating Manual
Artist: Galleon
Album: Mind over Matter
Length: 10:38
Lyrics By: Ulf Petersson

Thank you and congratulations on your choice of this device
Equipped with highest quality there is no compromise
Designed to give you pleasure for as long as you may ask
Ultimately geared for any action , any task . . .

Please be sure to read this information thoroughly
that way you can spare yourself from lots of misery
gain a grasp of every feature the unit may provide
we're sure that you from years to come will end up satisfied

Offers a complete selection of the algorithms
determine in which way the unit finally performs
It's the only tool you need to gain complete control
The settings are essential now you need to learn them all

First there is the common usage , but we will skip that part
We're confident in you and in your knowledge of that art

Rapidly we move towards advanced technology
this is all you need to know to work it properly

After you have unpacked
Be ready to attract
watch your teeth and your nails
you don't want it to fail
Increase and decrease
it's display with ease
every preset is at hand
is at hand at your command
then it's time to apply
the utilities supplied


(Poster's Note: italics not mine.)

In the edit mode you'll find
all parameters assigned
all you need is to combine
two or more modes to align

Tempo editing is fun
you can change it on the run
but be careful in the sun
it's loosing speed when being stunned

And it's need some care
In between all of its works
to be sure to make it last forever

To get the most out of your toy
you'll have to treat it like a boy
In return you will enjoy
many years of luck and joy

But it needs some care
To make it run unconditionally
but in return it'll be your king breaking free . . .

~

Implementations, specifications follow in this book
technical descriptions on how the finish look
trouble shooting all presented everything's complete
table listings on all messages you may receive

Communication error can be due to wild abuse
improper execution makes the unit blow a fuse
implement solutions that's suggested or discerned
otherwise the unit should be packed for safe return

We maximized our efforts just to satisfy your need
we wish you luck in programming the units future deeds
don't hesitate to call us , we provided the support
The warranty is free of charge as long as its not in court

It's all in your dreams at night . . . .

Effect: Conjures an operating manual for whatever gizmo/alien technology/whatsit that Doug has on hand. It lists every possible thing that can be done with the device, including hidden features and the like, and boosts the utility/quality of the device.

As useful as something like this could be, I can see it offending Doug's engineering pride to be so lost as to rely on a power like this. But hey, when you have to know how it works right now before the creature eats you...
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#2
I like. I think I'm going to have to find this song.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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#3
If the song has a length of 10:38, Doug had better hope that there is a comprehensive index and that he has a photocopy machine available. Wink
----------------------------------------------------

"Anyone can be a winner if their definition of victory is flexible enough." - The DM of the Rings XXXV
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#4
Mind over Matter is a great album. Progressive rock with a Genesis-esque whimsicalness to it. Four of their albums are available on iTunes (Mind over Matter, From Land to Ocean, Beyond Dreams, and Engines of Creation). Because they're a European band little known outside that continent, trying to actually get physical discs has been difficult unless I want to pay the import costs.
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#5
Shepherd Wrote:If the song has a length of 10:38, Doug had better hope that there is a comprehensive index and that he has a photocopy machine available. Wink
I could see him doing a raid on the Local Version of Kinko's, stripping the binding of the manual, and dropping 100 sheet sections in the auto'feeder of every available photocopier and hitting the go button.
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#6
You know, that would work very well.

What also would work very well would be actually buying this album so I can finally hear the song...  It is so remarkably obscure that there isn't even a video for it on YouTube.  (Although I can buy the entire album it's on from Amazon.)
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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#7
Bob, I've sent you a message with a link, though by now you may have already found yourself a copy.
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#8
I did, that same day, thanks. Some diligent Google searching turned up a little online music store that let me buy the track for a dollar.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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