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Heee...a shaggy-dog story right up Doug's alley...
Heee...a shaggy-dog story right up Doug's alley...
#1
I'm not going to cut and paste the story, as I'm not entirely sure what Bob's view on language is, but the URL to the story is bash.org/?758379
Now, this being IRC quotes, I'm fairly sure the story's complete BS...but on the other hand, it did inspire the thought 'You know, I could see Doug pulling this stunt...' ;-)
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Re: Heee...a shaggy-dog story right up Doug's alley...
#2
With that warning, I'm not going to check that link out from work... you'll have to wait a few hours for me on this.

-- Bob
---------
The Internet Is For Norns.
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Re: Heee...a shaggy-dog story right up Doug's alley...
#3
Quote:
Now, this being IRC quotes, I'm fairly sure the story's complete BS...but on the other hand, it did inspire the thought 'You know, I could see Doug pulling this stunt...' ;-)
Link forwarded to the family member who could duplicate this, with the advisory that he shouldn't try to...

-Rob Kelk
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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Re: Heee...a shaggy-dog story right up Doug's alley...
#4
now that's some (questionably authentic) ownage.
True Story - blasting @ 127mph down the Glenn at ~5am one gorgeous saturday morning, cop pops out of the first knik river bridge exit. I notice him about the third knik river bridge exit (~1.5mi later), and start slowing. I get stopped and pulled over at the railroad tracks (~5mi after the first bridge exit*).
Brain locks.
So I'm sitting there staring straight ahead with my hands on the wheel, the cop knocks on the window with his flashlight, I push the button and the window spools down, cop says "I pulled you over for SPEEDING".
I nod, slackjawed.
Cop continues "Why didn't you pull over when I first turned my lights on?" Very agressive, very pissed-off-authority figure. My brain is still booting, I'm seeing BIOS information scroll past my eyes - my mouth-to-brain safety interlocks are not yet functioning.
So I say, nonchalantly "Well, officer, I was driving well in excess of one hundred miles an hour, I wasn't terribly concerned about anything behind me."
I realise what I just said and my eyes bug out of my head, and my brain segfaults on unpacking it's kernel and cores.
The cop's eyes bug out, then he takes my liscence, registration, proof of insurance, and goes back to his car.
I'm clean.
Comes back, hands me a ticket for simple speeding - 4 points off the liscence and ~500$ USD of fine.

cheap at the price.
Have a nice day, officer, and thank you**...

*car in question was a 1997 Dodge Avenger, with stock brakes. I was _not_ gonna get on the stoppy-pedal, and cause massive amounts of wear, and signifigant risk of failure, in the braking system.

**One of two times I've ever said "Thank You" to a police officer and meant it. The other time involved my car being on fire.Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979
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Re: Heee...a shaggy-dog story right up Doug's alley...
#5
No problem there, Bob--the story is plain-text, but the, as some people I know refer to it, 'f-bomb' is dropped a couple of times--Like I said, I wasn't sure on your views on language around here, so I figured I should err on the side of caution.
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Re: Heee...a shaggy-dog story right up Doug's alley...
#6
Probably wouldn't have caused me trouble at work -- I think -- but I played it safe.
And yeah, that was pretty damned funny.
Reminds me of a guy I saw a couple times in college -- he was a grad student in Physics at Princeton, and worked at the Plasma Physics Lab (the fusion folks), but he sidelined in stand-up comedy. As part of his act he told a story about getting pulled over for speeding, flashing his PPL ID and giving the cop a cock-and-bull story about an "imminent meltdown" or some other disaster. The cop not only let him go, but escorted him, lights flashing and sirens wailing, as they sped even faster all the way to his destination.

-- Bob
---------
The Internet Is For Norns.
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Re: Heee...a shaggy-dog story right up Doug's alley...
#7
*Snicker* That reminds me of a gag from the movie 'Moving Violations'
The lead female, cast as something of a bubblehead exits the driving class..
Lead male: "Well, she's cute, but she's no rocket scientist."
(lead F returns): "Oh, could I get a ride from one of you to work?"
Lead M: "Sure, where do you work?"
Lead F: "NASA--I'm a rocket scientist."
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Re: Heee...a shaggy-dog story right up Doug's alley...
#8
Take this one with a grain of salt, as it's a classic "Friend of a friend" story, but it's damn cool. Got this one from my friend Mike Mercier, I think.
He told me once that a friend of his, whom I'll call Dave, was a "crotch rocket" biker enthusiast. Halfway insane. Not SO insane as to pop wheelies at 100 MPH on the freeway or anything like that. But he'd on occasion push a bike to its max straight line speed just to test it - and of course, for the adrenaline rush.
Dave had recently gotten himself a top line street racer. I believe it was a Ducati 916, or something very similar. And he'd been riding it for about a month at the time of the story, just letting the engine "break in". Nothing crazy. Normal driving. Then he went to visit some relatives down in Houston over the weekend. On his way back, he decides, since he's got all day to get back to the Dallas area, to take the opportunity to test the bike. He gets off the main highway and starts looking for some good back roads. Old two lane highways and such that aren't used much anymore since the interstate went through. He soon finds what he's looking for.
This is in the hills of central and east Texas. Hills you say? Yes, rolling hills. Think of land like that in Virginia between the coast and the Appalachians. Not all of Texas is flat, in fact not even a majority of it is. The part that has gotten into the national imagination as "tumbleweed land" is only that part up in the far northern "panhandle" of Texas around Amarillo. I imagine most people going through on Route 66/Interstate 40 got their impression of Texas from that area and assumed the whole state was like that.
Right, so nice smooth blacktop two lane highway winding through the hills and pine forests of central east Texas. It's a very pretty drive. And a nice challenge to any biker who wants to push the machine and himself. The bends make it interesting, and at 120-130 mph, those roads are challenging. Though Dave has enough experience that he knows generally when to back off.
He still makes a miscalculation though. Not being perfectly familiar with the area in question, he's blasting up, over, and around a nice long curve in the road when he realizes that he's about to be doing 130 MPH through one of those "blink and miss it" towns that the road goes through. He was having too much fun and forgot to keep track of the signs. Fortunately there's only one traffic light in his way and it's green when he gets there. But he can't help but notice the blue and red lights that have just come on behind him as he crests another rise of a hill on the opposite side of town.
Well crap, he thinks to himself. I'm caught, better face the music. So he starts slowing the bike down. Since he doesn't want to stress and overheat the brakes, he eases it back down before he stops.
I did mention the hilly nature of the terrain, you noticed? There's a reason I did. It took Dave long enough to slow down that he's actually a couple of hills beyond the town before he's totally stopped. Can't see the town or the presumably hot on his tail cop. He just so happens to pull over just beyond the crest of that second hill.
He gets off the bike, pulls off his helmet, kicks the stand down and waits.
And waits.
Finally the trooper comes barreling over the top of the hill, tires almost catching air. And the cop doesn't see Dave until he's just passing him.
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!! The patrol car leaves about 200 yards of skid mark as the trooper slams on the brakes. Dave's still nonchalantly leaning against his bike as the guy backs the car up to his position. The trooper hops out of the car, slams the door, and says -
"Why the HELL did you STOP????"
After being honest with the officer and talking with him for a few minutes, it comes out that the guy hadn't really expected to catch Dave, he just wanted an excuse to test HIS newly refurbished engine in the patrol car!
They wind up comparing notes for about 30 minutes and admire each others machines and the officer lets him off with a friendly warning not to ever speed through his jurisdiction like that again.
Sometimes, just occasionally, you run into one of the cool ones, you know? ^_^
-Logan
-----------------
"Wake up! Time for SCIENCE!"
-Adam Savage
-----------------
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Re: Heee...a shaggy-dog story right up Doug's alley...
#9
Quote:
Right, so nice smooth blacktop two lane highway winding through the hills and pine forests of central east Texas.

Gimme a red barchetta and no cops, and that's some yee-haw right there. Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979
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Re: Heee...a shaggy-dog story right up Doug's alley...
#10
Hoo-yah, Texas! ^_^
And people wonder why I'm so fond of my ancestral homeland. Wink
Black Aeronaut Technologies Group
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"But first, let's test it on the penguin."
"Meep?" O.o


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