Yet another HP fic search

[Wolff]

I've been looking for this fic for a couple days now, and my google-fu is being extremely weak.
I don't remember the title or the author, although it's very similar in tone to DrT's fics. Snape is giving Harry Occlumency lessons at Privet Drive, and taking the opportunity to abuse him at the same time. Harry takes objection to this, and sends a letter to Augusta Longbottom, asking if she can recommend a solicitor. She does, and after some plotting, Harry chooses Bill Weasley as his guardian. A while after this, Snape kills Molly, Arthur, and Remus in Grimmauld place, and after Harry, Bill, and Charlie interrogate him the hard way, Fudge looks the other way when they dispose of the body by feeding it to a dragon.
Any help is appreciated. Thanks!
-WFalling out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes
Waiting for the sunset to come, people going home
Jump out from behind them and shoot them in the head
Now everybody dancing the dance of the dead
Falling out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes
Waiting for the sunset to come, people going home
Jump out from behind them and shoot them in the head
Now everybody dancing the dance of the dead

[Bob Schroeck]

I've never heard of this fic... but if it's any good I think I'd like to read it.
BTW, wrong area for this message. I'm moving it to Other People's Fanfiction.

-- Bob
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The Internet Is For Norns.

[Wolff]

Sorry Bob, I was about half asleep when I posted this. Thanks for moving it to the proper area.
-WFalling out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes
Waiting for the sunset to come, people going home
Jump out from behind them and shoot them in the head
Now everybody dancing the dance of the deadFalling out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes

Waiting for the sunset to come, people going home

Jump out from behind them and shoot them in the head

Now everybody dancing the dance of the dead

[Cobalt Greywalker]

The description sound suspisiously like bellerophon30's work.
Try Harry Potter and the Final Straw.

[jpub]

Good call, Cobalt, you're exactly right.
bellerophon30's other work, Brave New World is also good, since it takes the stay/go decision using in HPatFS and says 'what happens if Harry decided to go?'--
Christopher Angel, aka JPublic
The Works of Christopher Angel
"Camaraderie, adventure, and steel on steel. The stuff of legend! Right, Boo?"

[Bob Schroeck]

---

Thanks for moving it to the proper area.

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Not a problem.

-- Bob
---------
The Internet Is For Norns.

[Bob Schroeck]

---

Try Harry Potter and the Final Straw.

---

And if I like this, I'll try Brave new World.

-- Bob
---------
The Internet Is For Norns.

[Wolff]

Yes, this was it exactly, thank you. It was driving me nuts. And yes, Bob, it's a good story. The writing isn't first rate, and dings a few of my pet peeves on the way, but not enough so to ruin the enjoyment of the story.Falling out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes
Waiting for the sunset to come, people going home
Jump out from behind them and shoot them in the head
Now everybody dancing the dance of the deadFalling out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes

Waiting for the sunset to come, people going home

Jump out from behind them and shoot them in the head

Now everybody dancing the dance of the dead

[Bob Schroeck]

---

The writing isn't first rate, and dings a few of my pet peeves on the way,

---

Yeesh. I'll say. I'm currently on chapter 15, and the only reason I've stayed this long is that it's an interesting take on the usual "Harry Breaks Free of Dumbledore" story, and I'm curious as to the direction it takes. But dear gods and little fishes, I'm about to strangle the author for the inline comments.

-- Bob
---------
The Internet Is For Norns.

[Wolff]

Those don't bother me as much as the poor use of longhand numbers, for example: "You 2 should talk to each other." These bug the heck outta me, since I tend to read by pattern recognition. I don't read the actual letters, but the shape of the word, so having numbers randomly interspersed when I don't expect them jars my eyes on the page and does a pretty good job of shattering my suspension of disbelief, for lack of a better term: the headspace I get into when I get into a story. A well-written piece makes me forget that I'm actually reading something, and becomes more like watching a movie in my head. Poor use of numbers as above, excessive misspellings, missing words, and such things are pretty good at knocking me out of that headspace, which makes reading almost more work than it is fun. This story is one of the exceptions. The story was good enough to (almost) forgive the technical mistakes in the writing.
-WFalling out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes
Waiting for the sunset to come, people going home
Jump out from behind them and shoot them in the head
Now everybody dancing the dance of the deadFalling out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes

Waiting for the sunset to come, people going home

Jump out from behind them and shoot them in the head

Now everybody dancing the dance of the dead

[jpub]

Brave New World is *FAR* better, IMO. I encourage you to check it out, even if you get a negative impression of B's writing form HPatFS.
The flood of new characters can be a bit daunting, but he develops them well and I actuallly found myself somewhat invested in them emotionally.--
Christopher Angel, aka JPublic
The Works of Christopher Angel
"Camaraderie, adventure, and steel on steel. The stuff of legend! Right, Boo?"

[Herr Bad Moon]

I've started Brave New World, and I'm enjoying it. It twigs some of my pet peeves, like Harry getting a date the first day there and some characterizations like Ginny or how Remus and Tonks basically get bought, but it's good stuff.---------------
-Jon
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
The population density of Wyoming is very low, but that doesn't mean the people there aren't also out to kill you.
---
Jon
"And that must have caused my dad's brain to break in half, replaced by a purely mechanical engine of revenge!"

[Bob Schroeck]

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Those don't bother me as much as the poor use of longhand numbers, for example: "You 2 should talk to each other."

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Oh, those bother me, too, but I just roll my eyes and sigh at them. Breaking the fourth wall every fifth freaking paragraph for yet another inane comment, though, that drives me to fits of violence.

---

A well-written piece makes me forget that I'm actually reading something, and becomes more like watching a movie in my head. Poor use of numbers as above, excessive misspellings, missing words, and such things are pretty good at knocking me out of that headspace, which makes reading almost more work than it is fun.

---

The author intruding himself that obnoxiously on the work does it for me.

-- Bob
---------
The Internet Is For Norns.

[Bob Schroeck]

Okay, finished Final Straw, um, yesterday? The day before? And my total reaction was, well, meh. The endless tournament scenes, the uninspired prose, by the end I was trying to figure out why I was reading. And I have never gone through a duller "final battle" sequence, ever. This guy sucked the life entirely out of the setting.
I'll give that other work of his a try, based on Chris' recommendation and others, but I'm not holding out much hope.

-- Bob
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The Internet Is For Norns.

[Herr Bad Moon]

Does the writer on board stuff ever stop? I had to stop reading Brave New World around Ch7 because it was driving me nuts. There's also a debilitating amount of tellnotshowitis when Harry get's to America. It's like the guy forgot how to write. Does this get better? I hope so, because he's got some interesting ideas and I'd like to see where he goes with it. But seriously! Goo!---------------
-Jon
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
The population density of Wyoming is very low, but that doesn't mean the people there aren't also out to kill you.
---
Jon
"And that must have caused my dad's brain to break in half, replaced by a purely mechanical engine of revenge!"

[Bob Schroeck]

Oddly, I'm thinking BNW is a notable improvement, but given where this guy started out in my opinion, that's not necessarily elevating him very high...

-- Bob
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The Internet Is For Norns.

[drakensis]

I've finished reading Final Straw and I'm about halfway through Brave New World.
Neither's going to go down as a great fic, but in fairness he does have some decent ideas it's the execution that's weak and that's something that does improve as you get further through them.
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[Bob Schroeck]

Okay, I'm in chapter 9 of Brave New World, and I'm wondering why I keep going. Something about this damn thing keeps me plodding through it, and I want to know what.
One thing I've noticed, by the way, is this guy has no imagination for character names. The original characters? They're all named for actors or novellists, mostly actors. I'm not joking. I started suspecting it when I saw a teacher named "Ray Kinsella" -- that's the guy who wrote the novel that became the movie Field of Dreams. But then I saw a vampire named Stacy Haiduk (who was an actress who was in the short-lived WOD tv show Kindred: The Embraced ten years ago) and several other characters, and then I started Googling on a few of the names as he first gave them. All but one came up with IMDB entries on the first page of results.
This is officially annoying the crap out of me.

-- Bob
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The Internet Is For Norns.