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jinchuuriki episode 1
jinchuuriki episode 1
#1
a schoolgirl is returning home from 'study session' at her friend's when a gang from her school begin hassling her. they are interrupted by a large young man of obvious mixed heritage who pushes roughly through the gang and out the other side. it isn't until he's past them that they realise that the girl is gone. when they run after him, the youth dissolves into smoke
a few streets away, the young man drops from a rooftop to the ground and puts the girl down. he looks at her, frowns and almost says something, then shakes his head and walks away while she's still gathering her wits.
the next day at school the girl tells one of her friends about the experience, only to be interrupted by two of the gang who demand to know where they can find her 'boyfriend' so they can get their revenge on him. she tells them that she doesn't know and they threaten her. when she repeats her refusal, they grab her and her friend, taking them away from the school
it's after dark and the girls are tied up in an empty lot while the gang throw a party, although it's obvious that they're expecting the mystery youth to arrive so that they can ambush him. the leader, a girl, goes over to the girls and tells them that she can't 'restrain' her boys long, so they'd better tell her everything they know right now. the friend tells her that she knows where he is. the leader agrees to release her if she tells them where to find him and release her friend once they see him. the girl tells her that he's behind her. startled, the leader turns and sees the youth standing impassively in the middle of the party. he almost casually yanks the leader away from the girls and then comes under attack by the gang, but not by their hidden reserves. an old man dressed as a priest sneaks up to the girls and blows dust in their face, sending them to sleep
the girls wake up on a futon in an archaic building. they overhear someone ranting and look through a crack in the sliding door to see the young man being berated by the priest for intervening to because he's endangered the girls by doing so. the argument is going on in the central chamber of what is evidently a shrine. the youth says nothing but although subdued does not seem repentant. disgusted, the priests sends him to tidy his room and the girls barely manage to duck back so that they aren't seen through the door.
the boy's room is windowless with stone walls. the furnishings are a mixture of modern and archaic: racks of scrolls and antique chests amid a collection of gunplas and tankouban. it's quite a mess and while the youth starts picking things up, the faces of the girls can be seen looking though the open doorway. the youth turns suddenly and sees them, then smiles and gestures for them to come in. he does not say anything to their questions however, looking frustrated, and hands them a scroll to read. the priest arrives to try to reason with his great-nephew and catches the two girls. frustrated, he tells them to leave, but doesn't realise that they have the scroll.
the girls go home and the next day, for some reason, the gang pays no attention to them. they read the scroll and discover that it is the history of a samurai family, one so old that it's history is based in myth.
centuries before, two demons had been struggling for dominance. the youngest son of a family that had been wiped out by the battle offered to combine his strength with the weaker of the demons, giving it the power to slay it's enemy and end the devestation being caused. by the terms of their pact, the demon would be bound inside the youngest son of the family until he died or until the next word he spoke. after his triumph, the son realised that the demon's freedom would simply liberate it to cause more havoc, so he decided never to speak again until he found a way to banish it. however, when his firstborn son was born the demon moved to the new youngest son, which killed the father. the mother, a priestess, laid a ward upon her child so that he would not speak and took him to a family of demon hunters who decided to hide the ongoing lineage
the continuity lasted for sixty generations, with handpicked brides bearing sons to each demon container as he began to grow old in the shelter of these caves. however, during the meiji restoration the demon hunters were all but wiped out and had no choice to ask the demon container to risk himself in battle fighting the by now rare demons. during the second world war, the demon hunters were wiped in hiroshima and the demon container was so injured that he barely lived long enough for his wife to give birth to twin sons, the younger of who is the priest seen. the elder son carried the demon and hunted other demons, in time marrying and siring a successor. however, that successor proved rebellious and ultimately sired his own heir upon an american woman during a one night stand. the priest barely managed to find and bind the child - the youth - before the demon broke loose. as it was, the child's birth cry (although not a word) loosed the demon enough for it to kill the mother. since then, the demon container has grown up in isolation, inside the caves behind the shrine, venturing out only at night to hunt demons

obviously, the youth is the current 'youngest son' of the family and therefore bound not to speak. the girl who first met him is of the opinion that there is something uncanny about him so perhaps the legend is true. her friend does not believe this, and she wants to 'free' him from the obviously fictional restriction.
back in the shrine, the barechested youth sits crosslegged on top of a seal carved into bare stone, either asleep or meditating. the view pulls back until it can be seen that this image is projected somehow in a crystal amulet being held up to the moonlight by a teenage girl wearing traditional samurai armour sitting on a motorcycle by the side of a road. she frowns and tries to remove the amulet, but the cord isn't quite long enough and she gives up and mounts her motorcycle, riding off into the night.
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
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Re: jinchuuriki episode 1
#2
That's really cool. *I'd* buy the manga (assuming decent drawing). Question, though - if the cord on the necklace is too short for the girl to remove it, then it seems like it would be too short for her to get a good look at as well. Is this what you intended?
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Re: jinchuuriki episode 1
#3
I had trouble with that. I was trying for it the length varying. When she just wants to look at it, it'll be long enough for her to do so. Should she try to remove it, it will not be long enough. any suggestions for how to clarify that?
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
Reply
Re: jinchuuriki episode 1
#4
the cord could be knotted, so that the section around her neck is too small to remove, but the overall length can still be used in that fashion.-Terry
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"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." - Antoine de Saint Exupery
"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die." - Carmen Boyle (Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner - 1996)
Mary Sue's theme music
-Terry
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"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
TF2: Spy
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Re: jinchuuriki episode 1
#5
...alternately, you could have her unable to remove it for some other reason. Perhaps she has to undergo a test of will against the Thing In The Pendant?
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