News both good and bad

[classicdrogn]

Bad: I lost pretty much the entire year's hard-won progress on TXY 2
Good: Angered, I whipped out a couple of chapters for These Crazy Dreams, leaving meat two and three scenes and a premise.
I'll post them up tomorrow, probably.
- CDSERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
For the next 72 hours, Itachi intoned, I will slap you with this trout. - Spying no Jutsu, chapter 3
"In the futuristic taco bell of the year 20XX, justice wears an aluminum sombrero!"hemlock-martini
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

[CattyNebulart]

ouch, I feel for you man.
I recently recovered a bunch of code I though I lost a year ago and which I had rewritten since then.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

[classicdrogn]

Hi all, been a while hasn't it? Anyway, you've seen from time to time what my dreams (the more coherent ones anyway) are like, and you may have read a couple of dream sequences I constructed to have in a particular character's head. I've been told I do them quite well. What this is leading to, is a take on Naruto fanfic I don't think I've ever seen before... actually, I don't think I've seen it anywhere, to tell the truth. I present to you then, These Crazy Dreams, part one.
-------- 8< --------- cut here -------- 8< --------
A man and a boy were curled into their bedrolls, sheltered from the grassland's incessent wind by the lee side of a massive, gnarled old olive tree. The elder had long, spiked white hair tied back in a tail, the younger's was blond and short but just as wild. Not much else was visible save their dark blankets, mottled in some camoflage pattern whose dark color was lost in the dim light of a crescent moon. The teenager moaned and shifted, rolling onto his back with a grimace, but remained asleep, the olive's swaying leaves casting an ever-shifting pattern of silver light and deep shadow on the pair of streaks that crossed each cheek.

THESE CRAZY DREAMS
a 27-hit combo of Naruto crack
from the twisted mind of
ClassicDrogn
Chapter One: Dream a Little Dream of Me

Note that the Naruto characters and setting were created by Kishimoto Masashi-sensei, and published through Shonen Jump. He'd probably be somewhat dismayed by what I'm doing with them, but is quite welcome to use any or all aspects of this story should he somehow run across it. Hopefully no one will bother to sue me over it.

They'd been waiting at the bridge for what seemed like forever, Naruto thought, glancing down at his watch. A sweatdrop formed on his head as it snored faintly and blew a snot bubble from the winding knob. He rapped it with a knuckle and the bubble popped with a snort, the display flickering on blurrily before sharpening up.
"KYAAH!" he shouted, making the other genin jump. "THAT LAZY SENSEI IS ALREADY A THOUSAND YEARS LATE THIS MORNING! WHAT IS THIS SHIT!?"
Sakura let go of Sasuke's arm long enough to pound an elbow into the crown of the blond's head, growling out, "SHUT UP, NARUTO! Can't you see we're having a moment!?"
Sasuke just continued to ignore them, while on his other arm Sakura nodded with an irritated frown, before going back to staring dreamily at the unresponsive Uchiha.
"Owww..." A burst of brilliant red flames swirled around the now pretzel-shaped Naruto, leaving him as good as new, except for a stiff neck. Still grumbling about their tardy jounin sensei he rolled it back and forth to work the kink out, then whooped and jumped in excitement.
Just down the street, he could see their teacher ambling toward the meeting spot, the usual orange book in one hand as he moved along the sidewalk. Then, unexpectedly, the lanky grey-haired man stopped, and - shock! - put away Itcha Itcha Paradise! Naruto could see him speaking politely to a little old lady, who then handed Kakashi her grocery bag and leaned on his elbow as they made their way across the street.
"Nuh... No way!" the hyperactive blond stammered. "Those lame excuses... They're actually true?"
They'd reached the far curb, and the granny accepted her groceries back with a fond pat on the jounin's cheek, then turned to climb the stairs into the house. Kakashi looked up the street and waved happily to his incredulous students, then turned back to the stairwell, obviously alarmed. He rushed in, then a few moments later returned, carrying the woman this time, and sprinted away back down the street.
Naruto fell over in shock. Sakura and Sakura groaned. Sasuke snorted in irritation, shook loose from his female team mate's anaconda-like grasp, and pushed off from the railing of the bridge, coming to stand in front of Naruto.
He smirked for a moment, then said, "Looks like we still have some time... I also want to fight you, Naruto. I only want to answer one question: Am I strong?"
Jumping back up, the orange-suited genin laughed and crowed, "Yeah! Yeah! I'll kick your mopey ass, dattebayo! Come on!" He ran to the unfinished end of the bridge, where the morning fog trailed across it in wisps. In the stands nearby, the five hokages looked up from where they were arguing with Orochimaru, while Kabuto tried to console the wailing, kimono clad python the snake sennin had brought as a date.
More importantly, Sasuke was already there, waiting in the taijutsu stance he'd copied from the Fuzzy-Brows. His eyes burned an ominous blood-red, the three tomoe spinning dizzyingly as he stared down Naruto with an arrogant smirk.
The crowd in the gallery across from the kages' box cheered as Naruto formed a cross-fingered hand seal - Iruka, Tazuna and Inari, Idate, Isaribi, the rest of the Rookie Nine as well, they'd all been saved by that move at one time or another. "TAIJUU KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!" they shouted, in unison with the orange-clad genin.
The bridge was suddenly swarming with Naruto clones, in a ring around Sasuke, perched on stacked building supplies, even hanging from the trusswork of the nearby crane like an over sized set of monkey-bars, the force of the dissipating chakra smoke blowing away the last of the fog from Kirigakure no Jutsu.
The referee, Zabusa, was less pleased, however, shifting the kunai he'd gripped in his mouth and complaining, "Don't get so excited, I haven't told you to start yet. Shaa, whatever," he grumbled, forging a path through the orange-clad crowd until he was a reasonable distance from the center. "Go ahead, then!"
With a chorus of yells, the Naruto swarm pulled out kunai and attacked, some leaping and throwing their blades, others charging recklessly in to attack directly. The dark-haired avenger's smirk just widened as he dispatched one after another with precise blows, sometimes simply dodging a thrown kunai to let it strike a clone out of his reach or behind his back, until they'd dwindled to a ring three or four clones deep all around.
Blackish-purple chakra exploded out from the Uchiha's body, and he went into a spin with a cry of "KAITEN!" The last of the clones were tossed back and destroyed. The terrific force of the technique shattered the pavement of the bridge, a web of cracks forming and splitting apart until the fighters were dropped to land on the surface of the river below. As the sphere of chakra faded two misshapen, leathery wings unfolded from inside its protective radius. A high pitched chattering like a huge flock of birds built up, and as Sasuke was revealed, hair longer and shocking white against his darkened skin, a light star-shaped patch on his nose and cheek bones framing those terrible eyes, he taunted the real Naruto, who'd waitd while his clones pressed the opening attack. "What's the matter, scaredy cat?" his wierdly distorted voice asked. "Have you realised your destiny of failure?"
"Bastaaarrrd..." the blond growled, red chakra bursting out around him. The ache made him stumble slightly, shifting down to all fours as the marks on Naruto's cheeks grew wide and dark, his fingernails becoming sharp claws as he crouched, ready to spring. "I'll bring you back, even if it means I have to break all your bones!"
Fell black sparks began to crackle away from Sasuke's braced right arm, the high pitched noise of the discharges sounding like the chirping of a huge flock of birds. His smirk never faded, even as the Uchiha survivor confided, "Naruto... you have become my closest friend. That's why it will be worth it when I kill you!" Blasting forward with chakra-enhanced speed, he called out the name of the attack. "CHIDORI!"
It never landed. A sudden blur of maroon and pink interceped his charge, and blood spattered over the surprised jinchuuriki as a hand clutching a still-beating heart burst out of the suddenly-interposed back, faint remnants of the black lighting still coursing over it as the organ was cruelly crushed. "S-Sakura-chan!?" he gasped, beastly features fading as shock broke him out of his rage.
"Sasuke..." the mortally wounded girl sighed, a thin line of blood already trickling form the corner of her mouth. "Only when you are protecting someone precious to you, can you become truly strong."
The Uchiha's transformation, too, began to revert, the contemptuous reply somehow lodged in his throat.
"Sakura-chan, no," Naruto whimpered, drawing her attenion at last.
Still impaled on her long-time crush's arm, the girl looked back over her shoulder, a forced smile beneath pained eyes. "Next time, we'll get him together, ne Naruto?" she promised weakly. Those achingly green eyes rolled back under drooping lids, and she collapsed as if deflating...
Under an olive tree somewhere near the border of Grass and Wind countries, a foxy blond teen started awake with a shouted denial.
In the Villiage Hidden by Leaves, a medic-nin in training, apprenticed to the legendary Tsunade herself, jerked awake with a shriek, clutching her chest.
And, in the silent underground chambers of Orochimaru's lair, a pair of troubled red eyes snapped open, three tomoe whirling to a halt as they faded slowly to their usual black. It was a long time before sleep returned to any of them.

Next tine on this forking pile of crack: Dream Another Dream, This Dream is Over
====================================
The chapter title is from an old "crooner/easy listening" song, but I don't really know who sang it - Frank Sinatra maybe?
The title for Chapter Two is a Van Halen song.
>
>
>
>
>END OF LINESERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
For the next 72 hours, Itachi intoned, I will slap you with this trout. - Spying no Jutsu, chapter 3
"In the futuristic taco bell of the year 20XX, justice wears an aluminum sombrero!"hemlock-martini
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

[classicdrogn]

this one... I kind of fell that the dialogue slipped away about half way through, along with my feel for Naruto. It's heavuy on the stammering, too.

TEENAGE ADVISORY NOTICE
CONTAINS JUVENILE FANTASY
NOT SUITABLE FOR GROWN-UPS

While nothing that should gain a NSFW label (and specifically nothing that will trip word filters), there are some more-or-less implied citrusy bits in this - but if the kids are old enough to risk thier lives and kill, they're old enough to dream about other stuff too. Consider yourself advised. Okay, yeah, they're all underage by modern standards, but remember the premise of the fic - and doubly so before you complain about characterization.
As a further warning, I broke out laughing so hard I had to put the keyboard down and wait four times while writing this. Finishing your coffee/soda/etc. before reading may be indicated.
Finally, there are some anachronisms sprinkled here and there, mostly surrounding Sakura. Smile and nod.
=====================================================
Her arms crossed against the light breeze that tugged gently at her nightie, Sakura gazed pensively out over the rooftops of Konoha. Her right hand slipped up on its own to rub at her chest again, just below the clavicle and left of the sternum...
Nightmares were, well, kind of a part of being shinobi, unless you were one of the ones who'd gone dead inside, or, worse, come to enjoy the bloodshed, but hers tended to be about things she'd had to do to others, or patients she hadn't been able to save, rather than things that had been done to herself. Of course, she'd been injured in the line of duty often enough - really seriously, a couple of times - and Sasuke really had ripped out her heart and crushed it, if not so literally, when he'd defected to the Sound.
She sighed, shook herself, then closed the window and climbed back into bed. Hopefully the rest of the night would bring her happier dreams.

THESE CRAZY DREAMS
a 27-hit combo of Naruto crack
from the twisted mind of
ClassicDrogn
Chapter Two: Dream Another Dream, This Dream is Over

Naruto was laughing at Jiraya, who'd fallen on his face when he saw the young ninja forming not just a rasengan with a single hand, but one in each hand - at the same time yet! Just to show the old pervert a thing or two, he decided to try something really different, and...
"YAAAH! See, see, Ero-sennin? I'm the greatest ninja ever, for sure! I bet not even Yondaime could make a Rasengan over his foreead! Hahaheh, I think I'll call it... ODEKODAMA RASENGAN! Dattebayo!"
He slammed them into a handy boulder, left-right-headbutt, reducing it to rubble, but before he could do a happy dance to celebrate a masked ANBU poofed into existance on top of the largest remnant.
"Uzumaki Naruto," the black-clad nin announced, "You have been recalled by the Godaime Hokage for an urgent mission. I've been authorized to teach you an ultra-secret teleportation kinjutsu to return instantly for the details. Are you ready?"
"An urgent mission, and a new technique? Ultra sectret! Yeah, yeah, let's go!" the blond enthused.
"Hey, what about me?" his earstwhile sensei complained. "You're supposed to be on a training trip with me at least a few more months!"
Naruto blew a rasberry at Jiraya, then told him. "I'll come back, but only if you promise to teach me something cool instead of all those lame control excercises!" Ignoring the older man's abject apologies and frenzied kowtowing, Naruto turned back to the ANBU. "Okay, okay! Let's see that super-cool secret technique!" He took his best attentive pose, arms free to form seals and eyes locked on the newcomer.
"This technique is called Ninpou: Shunkan Idou no Jutsu," the ANBU explained. "The seals are horse, monkey, giraffe, ram, platypus, and catfish. Concentrate on the view from the place you want to go, then release the chakra. I'll demonstrate the seals one more time, then you try."
Carefully mimicking the unfamiliar seals, Naruto concentrated on his favorite view of Konoha from the top of the hokage monument and poured on the chakra. A huge cloud of smoke blasted out around him, and he was off!
Opening his eyes as the chakra smoke cleared, Naruto drank in the sight of the hometown he hadn't seen in almost two years. There was the building his apartment was in, and over there was the Hyuuga compound, and there was the bridge where Team 7 used to meet, and way over to the right was the arena where the Chuunin Exam finals had been held... "Huh, I didn't see that before," he noted, ogling the scaffolding off to his left, just beyond the Yondaime's stone head. Shugging it off as he remembered his important mission, he took the fast way over and down, bouncing between the Nidaime's and Sandaime's heads and various outcrops as he headed down to the Hokage's tower at the foot of the cliff.
Sakura had recieved an urgent summons from her teacher, arriving in the office to find the young-looking woman pacing back and forth, muttering worriedly. Just after that... Well, the person who came in looked like Hyuuga Hinata... sort of. The Hinata that Sakura knew always wore a bulky jacket, though, and ccertainly didn't walk with such a confident swagger. "Yo, Hokage-sama!" the apparition greeted, then somewhat less warmly, "Sakura-san."
Tsunade stopped pacing, though her hans continued to worry each other until she stood behind her chair, gripping the back to occupy them. Realising that eye contact was probably neccessary for a proper briefing, the legendary medic-nin then moved some of the piles of paperwork off the desk, before returning to stand behind it. "Good, you're both here," she sighed. Now the only one we're waiting for is-"
"NARUTO-KUN!" the Hyuuga heiress interrupted joyously, looking up at a corner of the room. Her Byakugan was perfected, now, she could keep it active all the time without even having the odd-looking bulging veins on her face, and had spotted the boy coming over the top of the cliff. She skipped over and opened the window, leaning out to wave up at the descending ninja, then backing off so he could jump in through it.
Naruto sniggered to himself as he made the final leap, thinking how cool he was going to look as he did a double flip to land perfectly in front of the Hokage's desk. "Yo, Tsunade-baachan!" he greeted her, before noticing whom he'd landed beside. "SAKURA-CHAN!" He shouted happily, grabbing her hands and dancing in place.
Just a moment later, though, she was shoved out of his grip, stumbling sideways with a shocked look while an amazingly assertive Hinata grabbed him in a tight embrace. "NO!" the Hyuuga insisted, clutching him closer. "At least now, I want you all to myself!"
"But... but... Sakura-chan..." the boy whimpered, confused. (Not to mention a bit dazed by the dark-haired girl's figure in that tight, navy blue body glove and fishnet, and the interesting ways it was pressed against him at the moment.)
"Sakura-san can chase her missing-nin, or at least learn to share while she learns to treat you kindly," Hinata declared, her tone leaving no room for argument.
Sakura did a double-take, musing to herself, "Well, she is as good looking as Ino-chan..." before smacking her head a few times against the wall. "No, no, no! Not like that! Do not want!"
Before things could devolve further, Tsunade drew the attention back to herself, drumming her fingers on the desk top loudly enough to rattle with window. "We're on a time limit here," she reminded them, before geting on with the mission briefing. "The Spring Festival is only a few days away, but now that we're at war with the Sound and their home, Rice Field Country, there's a big problem. The entire villiage is out of mochi! In fact, there's not a single rice ball left in all of Fire Country." She paused a moment, to let them comprehend the enormity of the impending disaster. "This leaves us with only one option... the rabbit in the moon!"
The assembled genin (Sakura had just missed getting into the finals AGAIN at the last chuunin exam, and Hinata had been forbidden to take it since it was in Hidden Cloud) gasped, but the slug-sennin continued before they had time to interject. "This is a Double-S Rank mission at least, so I had to call on my very best ninja, and it's voluntary - just getting there is something you have to figure out, but I know I can count on you three. Will you accept?"
"Hai, sensei!" "You bet, Hokage-sama!" "HAH! Of course Tsunade-baachan! We'll protect the happiness of the people of Konoha!" Naruto tried to bounce with excitement, but only managed to hop around awkwardly, dragging a giggling Hinata beside him.
In no time at all,
it seemed, the trio had left the office and were walking throguh the streets of the city, pondering their next move. "But, how are we going to get to the moon, anyway?" Naruto asked. "It's way up in the sky!"
"Ah, well, I have an idea about that," Sakura said. "We'll ask my mom about those kind of things."
Hinata tilted her head, asking, "Why would your mother be able to help, Sakura-san?" before leaning it back on Naruto's shoulder, where she walked along snuggled up to one arm.
The other girl laughed, then reached up to run a hand through her pink locks. "Well, I asked her one time why our hair was like this - it's kind of an odd color, you know? - and she said it was because she was a space alien. She should know how to travel in the sky, in that case."
"..."
"..."
Naruto and Hinata said exactly what they thought of this revelation. Sakura forced a chuckle and continued leading them to her house.
As the silence stretched on, she grumbled about how her mom had better not make her look like an idiot after this. The walk seemed to take forever and she could feel her back burning where they were surely still giving her incredulous stares.
Naruto thought the walk was taking forever, between the confusion of how - or more to the point, why - Hinata-chan was clinging to him (Like Sasuke with his fan club, except the mopey avenger always shook them off when they tried it. Surely that didn't mean...?) and Sakura-chan's shocking confession. He... couldn't really complain, though. Even if she was half-space-alien, Sakura-chan was still Sakura-chan, and having someone as close to him as Hinata-chan was felt... kinda... nice. Yeah, nice was a good word.
Hinata... Hinata just wished the walk would last forever, and basked in every instant of it. She sighed happily and snuggled her Naruto-kun.
An eon or two later, they finally arrived, Sakura leading them past the shop front with just a wave for her father at the counter, then up the stairs to the living area. "MOOOOM!" she called, as they took their sandals off in the genkan. "I HAVE TO ASK YOU SOME STUFF FOR A MISSION!"
"I'm in the kitchen!" The reply came with a drift of spicy, delicious bakery-smells, and the sounds of baking pans being moved about. Sakura nodded and waved her team mates forward, heading down the short hall and in through an open sliding door.
Naruto and Hinata both stopped dead as they steped through, mirrored pictures of shock on their faces as they saw Sakura's mother for the first time - toned and slender, despite having her hair up in a bun and hair-net, and the flour-rimed apron around her wiast, she lopoked hardly older than they were. Mischievious golden eyes sparkled with humor over a toothy grin as she enjoyed the effect she had on them, even as she pulled opff her oven mitts and fodled the quilt that had been warming the loves just put in the oven while they rose. "What's this about a mission, then?" she asked.
"Ah-um well..." Sakura was feeling REALLY foolish about this now - she should have done this on her own instead of bringing the others to see her mom laugh at her gullibility! Too late to think of that, though. "You, that is... You said you were a space alien, right? Because it's just that we need to get to the moon and don't know how but if you were really a space alien then you'd know andnowIlookTOTALLYstupid..."
"Ah, the moon," her mom repeated, tapping one finger against her chin and looking contemplatinve, while Sakura tried to sink into the floor without the use of ninjutsu. "Moon, ne? No problem!" the elder Haruno announced.
"N... No problem?" her daughter repeated, numbly, as if not quite beleiving her ears.
"Nope!" The young ninja could practuically hear the little cutesy heart drawn as punctuation, as her mother continued, "There's plenty of fuel in my scooter for the moon and back!"
"The moon... and back?" Sakura repeated again.
"Well, you weren't planning on staying there, were you?" her mom asked. "It's a really boring place, you know."
"Ehehehe... boring..." Clearly, Sakura needed a bit more time to adjust to the idea that yes, she really was half space-alien.
Checking the timer on the oven, Haruno-kaasan took off the apron and washed the flour off her hands. "This way, kids," she commanded, leading the dumbstruck genin back out to the hall, and toward the back of the building. She paused on he way to brush a bit of dust off an oddly shaped solid-body guitar hanging on the wall, admonishing Sakura, "I still want you to use the family style someday soon, dear, whether the Sound-nin are enemies or not," before continuing out onto a balcony.
"Eheh... style..." Still not dealing.
"And it's such a stylish style, too. I'd have thoguht you'd try it when you were chasing that young man, ne?" Still highly amused, the older woman put a pair of fingers to her mouth and let off a piercing whistle, answered moments later by the roar of a small engine from the alley below. The next thing any of them knew, there as a bright yellow Vespa hovering just beyond the railing, faint puffs of exhaust dissipating in the clear mid day air as it idled, waiting for a a rider. "Here you go, then," she told them, before digging around in a pocket. Pulling out a padded metal cuff wih a single chain link hanging from it, she snapped it around Sakura's wrist and instructed, "Take this, and get it tuned up at the station while you're there, ne? It's been a little while."
Shaking herself (with considerable effort) out of her stupor, Sakura hopped over the railing and onto the seat, then frowned down at the handlebars, considering how to do this. "I guess... Hinata, since you're smaller, you sit on my knees, and Naruto you get on behind." Narrowing her eyes at the blond, she warned, "Hold my waist and no where else, understand?"
Hinata wanted to complain that if Naruto was holding anyone it should be her, but this was for the mission, and she'd never ridden such a contraption before - never even seen anything like it, for that matter. She slipped into place with a small moue of dissappointment, then brightened as a better idea came to her. She reached back as Naruto slid his arms under Sakura's elbows and grabbed his hands, pulling them further foreward - and a bit higher than her waist, but that was just fine. It meant they were all sandwiched even closer together, but this far up without a tree or wall to stand on and planning to go even higher, she didn't mind that, either. She returned the saucy grin as Sakura's mother caught her eye, then the engine revved up again and they were off, riding into the sky at a steep enough angle that she was now REALLY glad they were all pressed close together.
They were still a bit too low to clear it as they approached the wall, the shinobi manning the guard posts pointing and exclaiming over their unusual vehicle, so Sakura turned and headed back toward the Hokage monument at the focus of the city. A city it obviously was from this vantage, stretching away to either side in a mottled mass of three and four storey buildings interspersed with giant trees, and in some cases built right into them. Pedestrians and carts lined the streets with the occasional, rare and expensive steam-truck belonging to some wealthy merchant making its way through the crowded thoroughfares, and ninja darted this way and that over the rooftops.
A messenger hawk, curious, flew beside them for a few seconds before swooping away to the relay station, and as she sifted up and put on more speed Sakura could just make out Tsunade-sesei on the roof of the Hokage's tower, looking out over her people. Finally finding his voice, Naruto whooped and hollered, calling out to her to go faster and faster as the horizon began to bend below them, and the pale shaodow of the moon gained substance in the darkening sky.
Stars began to appear as well, and looking down one last time Hinata could only make out Konoha as a tiny smudge in a sea of green, even at the Byakugan's maximum magnification. The world was visibly round below and behind them now, the tug of gravity obviously provided by the scooter as it climbed nearly vertically away from the world they'd lived on for fourteen years. Ahead, the moon loomed larger and pale, a only a quarter full with a dark inner face as they rose to meet it. Looking that way now, Hinata searched for any details visible in that slim, luminous crescent.
It was smooth, and very pale, and here and there one of the darker patches sparkled slightly. Still scanning, the young Hyuuga wondered if perhaps the moon was covered in snow? A smudge in the shadowed area caught her eye, and she strained to make out some detail... then gasped as the reality hit her. The moon, a bright cricle in the sky no bigger than a fingernail, was actually nearly as large as all of Konoha! What was more, it wasn't a sphere like the world below, more like a shaving cut off from one - the light side was the outer curve, while the inner face was dark, the waxing and waning of its phases caused by the U shaped planetoid spinning as it traveled through the sky. The smudge she'd seen was the lit sign of a building nestled on the the lower slope of the dark inner face, and she gasped at the wonder of iot all.
Sakura, for her part, was glad for anything to divert her attantion from the fact that she had no idea where to aim, and asked, "Ne, Hinata, what is it? Do you see something?"
A good half hour later, Naruto was still occupied with where Hinata had guided his hands and what it meant and NOT squeezing like some kind of pervert.
Well, maybe just a little squeeze, now and then. Just to let her know he didn't mind if she didn't, right?
Another thing Sakura was trying to distract herself from was one of the things he hadn't noticed, along with the fact that she felt ambiavalent enough about it not to have pointed it out and caused grievous bodily harm yet.
Eh, teenagers.
Regardless of all that, Hinata hadn't managed to spot any other sign of inhabitants, even now that she knew how tiny a sign she had to look for, so she pointed and explained, "There's a building over there. I haven't seen any others, so it's probably the best place to go."
Sakura made an affirmative sound and adjusted course accordingly, then wiggled a bit, trying to get more of the seat under her. Frankly, her butt was getting a little sore from supporting both herself and Hinata, but the new position didn't help with the other thing on her mind, and it's not like she could tell Naruto to scoot back when she'd just slid back tighter against him.
Naruto in fact was now hanging a bit off the back of the seat and had to grip tightly with his knees, but the only thing he'd noticed as Sakura moved was... not that. Suffice it to say that he now had a third thing on his mind as well. His cheeks began to feel rather warm.
Like I said, teenagers. What can ya do?
By the time they eventually landed, none of the trio could walk quite normally - Naruto was stiff from keeping his legs tensed in order to not fall off, apart from anything else, Sakura was numb from sitting with an extra person in her lap for so long, and Hinata, well Sakura had kind of bony knees, and her own were feeling a bit weak anyway at the moment.
Once they'd gotten a bit closer to their destination Hinata had been able to make out more details - the smooth, pale surface she'd at first taken for snow was a dense covering of enormous, tree-like mushrooms, while the glittering darker areas were ponds and streams. The huge billboard she'd first noticed turned out to be a sign that read "WELCOME TRAVELERS" and the building a combination of hotel, store, and machine shop. There was platform ringed with small lamps where they were able to land, and a smaller proclaimed it "Shuko's Travel Station."
Two other scooters were parked there, and something that looked like a large steam-truck with skids instead of wheels. A small, energetic cat-girl in a stained coverall and a baseball cap with ear-hole cut outs was just putting away a wrench and closing up her tool box beside it as the genin pulled to a halt, and whistled appreciatively as they pulled to a stop nearby. "That's a classic model you kids've got there, nya, don't see too many of them these days. I'm Shuko, welcome to my travel station. Yer stayin' long?"
His legs having recovered, Naruto started to hop with excitiment at the prospect of telling some one new about himself and his amazing mission, but it was Hinata who actually spoke first. "We are shinobi of the Leaf, from Fire Country on the planet," she explained. "We were sent to get mochi for the Spring Festival from the rabbit, due to an emergency shortage." Naruto stopped bouncing with an embarrassed laugh as the dark haired girl latched onto his arm and snuggled up again.
"Mochi, nya?" Shuko repeated, thinking a moment before she continued, "The Rabbit's in a castle on the outer face, but it's sealed against entering from there, nya. You can get in through the caves, to turn the barrier off temporarily, though. They're too tight for your scooter, but you can park it here a small fee, or for free if you're getting work done, nya."
"Oh, that's right," Sakura exclaimed, remembering her instructions, "Mom said to get it tuned up while we were here, and gave me this thing." She held out her left arm to show the shackle-like bracelet.
"That'll make things easier all right, nya!" The cat girl pulled a clip board from one of the larger pockets in her coverall and clipped a cord to the chain link on the cuff, then pricked a finger with a claw and smeared some blood across a seal near the top of the first blank page. It glowed for a moment and started spreading out, filling the paper with the scooter's service history as well as the elder Haruno's information from LunaBank to cover the bill.
The Vespa beeped forlornly at them from its parking spot, but they left it behind to travel on. Shuko brought them to a large, heavy door at the back of the building, opening the mutliple bars and locks as she warned, "You'll jhave to be careful, nya. A commando of drop bears has moved into the caverns recently, and they're vicious! I can't get mochi for my guests lately, either, nya. If you get rid of them for me, I'll take a load of mochi in my tarnsport for you, since there's not much cargo space on a scooter, nya?"
The Leaf-nin stopped in their tracks, swweatdrops forming on the bnacks of their heads.
"Nyahaha, I can't beleive it! You didn't think of that, did you, nya?"
The genin hurried on, leaving the still giggly nekomimi to close the door behind them. Crystal formations sparkled everywhere, and tiny, glowing mushrooms sprouted out of every corner and crack casting a dim blue light over everything. The path led upward at a fairly steep angle but wound back and forth around crystal formations. The passage out of the cavern was narrow and uneven, the dark grey moon rock cris crossed with tool marks.
In the third large cavern they met their first drop bear, taken by suprise because it had been cl8inging to the wall above the tunnel exit, and even the Byakugan couldn't see far through solid rock. The only warning they had was a short, high pitched growl, then a ball of biting, clawing fury fell onto Naruto's back. He yelled in shock an pain, rolling with the impact and bating inneffectivelyat the beast once he'd regained his feet.
"Naruto-kun!" Hinata shouted as she sprng forward, into range for her jyuuken. "Hold still, I'll get it!" The keeper of her heart stopped flailing about, but whether that was because he heard her or shock as the little monster took a bite out of his shoulder was somewhat questionable. Either way it was enough, two precise hits just behind its ears cooked the awful thing's brain, dropping the bear instantly.
"EEEEYOOW OW OW OWWIE!" the blond complained, clutching his sides where the beast's claws had scored him, leaning against the Hyuuga girl. Sakura was already forming the seals to start up her medical jutsu, green chakra glowing around her hands as she ran them over the gashes to stop the bleeding. "D-don't worry about- the small stuff- Sakura-chan," he panted, "Just- fix my- shoulder, ne?" Seeing the faint curls of pinkish smoke she remmbered from other times Naruto had healed himself starting to stream from the claw marks, she complied, concentrating on rebuilding the torn away mucle from the last, deepest bite.
"I'm sorry, Naruto-kun, I got it as quickly as I could," Hinata apologised. "I'd never want you to be hurt." Looking up at the other kunoichi, she continued, "Thank you for healing Naruto-kun, Sakura-chan." Then she blinked, thought about it, and got a bit red across the cheeks.
Siting up and waving his uninjured arm, Naruto laughed it off. "Hah, this? It's just a few scratches! Not even scratches, scrapes! I couldn't reach that thing at all and you got it right away, Hinata-chan!"
"It's what I'm training for, Hinata-chan, the pink-haired medic-nin replied distractedly. "To protect my precious people and help them when they're injured. Anyway, there we go!" Major repairs done, Sakura released her jutsu and let the finishing work happen its own, sternly commanding, "Sit still until you're fully healed, Naruto. It should only take a few minutes at the rate you're going." Keeping half an eye on the boy to make sure he obeyed, she examined the animal that had attacked him. It was about the size of a small child, with short, soft grey fur, a short fluffy tail and big, even fluffier ears. Its nose was large and rounded, the eyes a bit small but human-like. "SO this is a drop bear," she mused. "It would almost be cute if it wasn't for the razor-sharp fangs and claws, and being covered in Naruto's blood."
Hinata frowned, using an adaptation of the water-droplet Jyuuken training excercise to get the lood out of Naruto's clothes before it stained, glaring at the dead bear as she dryly remarked, "That does sort of take the charm out of it, it's true."
Noticing something shiny in the long fur behind one ear, Sakura cut the tangle apart witha kunai. "Ew, dead finger bones... kind of in interesting ring, though." It was all metal, with a bluish sheen of steel rather than the usual silver or gold, and supported a low rlief sculpture of a sandal clad foot with a pair of spread, feathery wings. Seeing little reason to leave it to gather dust in a cave, she used a quick disinfecting ninjutsu and slipped it on for safekeeping, since the band was her size.
As they got going again, Naruto realised he was really getting sick of Hinata clinging to his arm that way - not that he wanted her to let go of him, that was definitely nice, but that she had to hang on like a fangirl to Sasuke-teme as if he was going to escape. For that matter, it had to be uncomfortable the way she was hunched over sideways to lean against his shoulder like that... maybe if he put the arm across her back instead of down by his side?
Hinata stifled a gasp of dismay as her hold was shaken loose, then happily snuggled closer and wrapped her arm aorund her Naruto-kun's waist as he did the same. This... was a VERY good mission, she decided.
Sakura moved to the point position, feeling a little left out and unsure how she should feel about feeling left out. She picked up some fist-sized stones from the cavern floor, chucking one hard at the cieling whenever they came to an overhang where more ambushers could be waiting. None appeared until they reached a deep gorge, only a narrow stone bridge connecting the legde on their side to the tunnel beyond. The bottom stretched away out of sight in the gloom, and the cieling was arched and high. The sound of moving water echoed and filled the massive space, giving away the cause of the chasm, and stalagmites hung from the cieling, dripping in the damper air.
"Sakura-chan, wait," Hinata warned, shifting her Byakugan from 360 degree mode to concentrate on the roof of the chamber. Finishing her examination, the Hyuuga heiress declared, "There are two more drop bears waiting at this end of the bridge, and another near the far side. There's no way to go around though, and the stalagmites are protecting them from an attack before we pass."
"Ne, which is which," Naruto asked. "I can never remember if stalagmites come from the cieling or the floor."
"If it might fall, it's a stalagmite, but stalagtites cling tight to the floor, Naruto-kun," Hinata repolied.
Sakura giggled at the silly mnemonic and poked the Hyuuga heiress's forehead playfully. "And to think, they call me a study-bug," she teased. Hinata just grinned back at her, while Naruto looked confused.
He guessed Sakura-chan and Hinata-chan had become freinds while he was away, and shook it off in favor of thinking about the waiting ambush. "Ne, let's go back into the tunnel a little bit, where it's drier."
A few minutes later, the three genin charged back out and onto the bridge, having decided that without any way to avoid or preempt the ambush, the best option was to bulldoze ahead and attack as the drop bears revealed themselves. As far as it went, the plan seemed to be succeeding, the ravenous beasts dropping from their perches almost in unison as the trio reached the center of the bridge, but they hadn't been prepared for how mobile the little brutes were - one, larger than the first, sprang across the ten feet from its landing spot to sink its hind claws into Hinata's chest, front legs and vicious fangs shredding her face as she shrieked in agony.
Then, the kage bunshin popped in a cloud of chakra smoke, leaving behind a confused and irritated drop bear. With the ruse already exposed, the Sakura-clone released its henge, reverting to a second Naruto as they each formed a rasengan, the swirling masses of chakra blowing the two smaller animals off the sides to the bridge to be broken by the rocky river far below. The real Leaf-nin followed up posthaste, Sakura still in the lead and disposing of the remaining bear with a single, terrifyingly powerful uppercut. It went flying the width of the chasm and slammed into the other wall with a crunch, already dead as it peeled away to fall into the darkness. The three formed up back to back for a few seconds, Hinata repeating her careful scan of the cieling in case more of the beasts had come while they prepared, then relaxed and shook the tension out of their muscles.
The tunnel became steeper on the far side, forcing them to mold a bit opf chakra to keep their footing as the stone had become damp and slippery without a layer of gravel to line the path. The wetter air made the phosphorescent mushrooms more prolific, however, so at least it was a bit brighter than before. Approaching the next cavern it became brighter still, but the tunnel seemed to have come out a bit too low in this one, angling up sharply into the roof.
The rotted remains of a set of wooden steps lay at the base of the wall, and scratches in the stone showed where the drop bears - or possibly SHuko, for that matter - had used their claws to make the most of negligible toeholds. That hardly mattered to them, of course, when the sbility to jump into, between, and out of trees was one of the basic Academy excercises, and something every Leaf-nin did as a matter of conveinience.
With that in mind, Sakura took a few running steps before leaping up the short dead end. She was therefore rather surprised when the jump didn't flatten out and drop her neatly at the top of the wall - in fact, before she'd even gotten half that high she was floating free, shooting into the large cavern with undiminished speed. Straightening out the tumble her first jerk of shock had started, she channeled some chakra into one hand, hoping to stick it to a jutting rock formnation and catch herself before slamming into the far wall, and got another surprise - the ring she'd found earlier sucked the energy up greedily, releasing a pair of faint, glowing streamers that snaked their way around her body and then a leg apeice, finally looping at her ankles, the loose ends fluttering in the wind of her passage. Wirthout the chakra charge her fingertuips just brushed by the rock and she braced for impact, only to swoop away at the lastt instyant as she reflexively cringed.
Now thoroughly befuddled, she was entirely unprepared for the half-dozen drop bears that sprang at her from all sides, but was almost half-expecting it when she swerved again in mid-air to slip through the gap in their attack. Deprived of their target, the animals collided in midair, most of their momentum canceling out to leave a rapidly spinning, slowly drifting ball of snarling grey fur and claws. Before the beasts could get themselves sorted out, Hinata leapt out of the tunnel at attack, blasting them out of their huddle with...
"KAITEN!" Well, it wasn't really a Kaiten, despite what she'd called out, sicne it was done in mid-air and elongated along the path she was traveling due to having more of the chakra aimed behind her to control her course. At the same time, it wasn't a piercing attack like a simple copy of the Gatsuuga used by the girl's usual team mate Kiba. Whatever it was, it was effective, two of the hardest hit drop bears bouncing hard off of walls to float twitching and broken while bloody froth drowned them in the weightless chamber, the others skimming in at less acute angles until they fetched up against some protrusion, stunned.
Sakura drew a handful of kunai as she looped again, finishing those motionless animals with well aimed throws even as she saw more climbing out of their bowers along the walls. Grimly, she reached for more kunai.
Naruto had been just as shocked as Skura when she'd flow away out of control, and would have followed her just as helplessly if Hiniata hadn't run up the wall and caught him, pulling the boy back down to where he could stick with the tree-climbing technique. Then, seeing Sakura's predicament, she put her hopes on a wild guess about what the sudden lack of gravity would mean for the technique and blasted off with a cry of "KAITEN!" leaving Naurto complain about being left behind while he figured out how to maneuver himself. Seeing the giant spinning ball of chakra blast apat the pile of drop bears, he quickly came up with an idea of his own. It would be tough to fignt if he had to do it with his hands, but a single direction spin or two should be good enough...
More drop bears were emerging already, and besides the way the girls were swooping around looked like fun! Naruto pushed off from the "floor" gently, then concentrated while he wrestled his always-unruly chakra into the pattern he wanted. A small whirlwind formed beneath each of his heeels, spinning in opposing directions, then abruptly spun out into a funnel cloud as he directed aimed the winds away from his feet, rocketing into the ceter of the room just in time to catch the first of the next wave of attacks with an interposed kunai. It stuck in the beast's ribs, so he shoved it away and grabbed mroe blades, throwing them in a rain of cruel steel on the beasts still getting ready to spring.
By the time they'd finished off the seemingly endless horde of drop bears, the air was thick with floating animal corpses and drops of blood, to the point it was difficult just to keep it out of their eyes. At least the tings didn't seem to stink too badly as they died, though there was a bit of a flow of fresh air in the chamber, from an opening abouta third of the way around from where they'd entered. Not wanting to continue without their weapons, and remembering that Shuko had said she needed this path to get mochi for guests at her travel station, they collected the clouds of dead bears, retreiving the kunai and shuriken stuck in most of them, and tossed then down the tunnel to slide out and be washed away down the underground river.
In the course of retreiving their equipment the trio also discovered that the bears seemed to have stashed an astounding amount of loot in their bowers, mostly jewelry or small weapons that had probably been carried away as part of a kill, but also including large numbers of crtystal fragments, metallic nuggets, and shiny rocks - anything that would catch the light, it seemed. Particularly interesting peices they stashed in the various pouches and pockets any worthwhile ninja had hidden in their clothing, but there was far more than they could carry without restricting their movements, and not knowing what dangers might still lie ahead none were willing to risk it. Finally, though, the last corpse had been tossed down the stony slide to oblivion and all but a handful of their weapons retreived, and the three genin hurried on, conscious of passing time and all really hoping to find someplace they could get at the river and wash away the stains of battle.
Exiting the weightless room they found themselves popping "up" through a hole in the floor of a "flat" tunnel, despite the fact that it was just about perpendicular to the steep climb they'd made to get into the chamber - and for that matter, the fact that they could see the curve of the cieling dipping down in front and behind them as they went. This tunnel was much mmore natural looking, with clear signs of being carved by erosion despite being dry now, and they could hear the rushing of a waterfall ever closer ahead.
Eventually the air became warmer and moist against their skin, until finally the trio turned a corner and found themselves in an open grotto where the center of a large cavern's roof had collapsed and left an opening to the surface. A stream fell over the edge in a shining cascade, feeding a small pool that drained through another fissure near one wall. A scattering of man-high white mushrooms grew among the rubble of the cieling, but all they could care about was water! Clean, flowing, plentiful water that they could WASH IN!
"Naruto," Sakura commanded, "Go wait down the tunnel while we get cleaned up."
"But Sakura-chan! I'm all yucky too, you know," he protested.
Even Hinata wasn't prepared to humor her crush this time. "It's ladies first, and two to one. Just wait a little bit, naruto-kun, and then you get your turn." A sudden naughty thought struck her, and she grinned enticingly. "Unless you'd like to help wash my back, Na-ru-to-kuuun..." Naruto and Sakura both gagged on their tounges a moment, then the pink-haired girl had to laugh as the boy vanished in a puff of dust, unintelligible denials echoing back around the corner of the tunnel. Hinata joined in, a clear, uninhibited laugh that rang like a bell, ten grabbed a free hand and pulled the taller girl toward the pool, already fumbling at the straps of her blood soaked body glove with the other hand.
The girls had worked some kind of miracle on his half-shredded jacket and shirt while Naruto was washing up, and arfter some intial awkwardness they all got used to the notion of sitting around a campfire in their underwear while the rest of their clothes dried. Much as they'd like to have pressed on, all three were exhausted from the hours-long grinding fight against one bear after the next, and while Naruto had already healed almost entirely both girls had pulled muscles and scrapes, not to mention the scattered claw or bite mark, and healing them to the point they wouldn't scar and would be mostly combat ready again after some sleep took most of the remainder of of Sakura's chakra.
In the dream within the dream, Naruto was the special guest of honor at the All-Nations Ramen Festival, where he was served dish after dish of every imaginable kind of ramen, by Sakura and Hinata in their underwear. Hinata awoke to discover that she was the Head of the Hyuuga clan, and immediately dispelled all the Caged Bird seals of the Branch members before running to the Hokage's tower to spend some quality time with Naruto, meeting Sakura along the way and dragging her along. Sakura was the lead guitar and vocalist at a rock concert with a penguin and a scruffy orange cat for backup, and Kakashi-sensei on bongo drums. The cat bit a snake's head off as part of the stage act, and then she went crowd surfing.
Hey, you can't have irrelevant dreams all the time.
They "woke" to find themselves all snuggled together against the cool breeze after the fire died down, but at least their clothes were dry now. Continuing on, they found that the grotto where they'd takwen their rest was just the antechamber to a huge caldera, the path from the tunnels - now paved with gravel again - leading down to a long, scenic bridge that crossed the still water of a small lake filling its bottom, a n open pagoda lined with benches just inside the railing built at the very center of the lake.
Their steps tapping lightly on the boards of the central pagoda, all three paused to marvel at the beauty they'd never known was floating right over their heads. A ring of white moon-tree-substitute mushrooms grew all around the lake save for where the path wass kept clear, smaller ones of all colors and shapes springing up like wildflowers around them, and the still waters mirored the scene with only the slightest ripple. Hinata hugged her love closer for a moment, then pulled away a bit, turning to face him squarely. "Ne, Naruto-kun, I've decided" she sang, focusing his attention on her. "A girl can't live on snuggles alone."
Trying to figure out what that was supposed to mean, Naruto cocked his head a bit. "Eh? What do-mmph!"
Eyes the size of dinner plates, he gasped when her lips eventually retreated, and stammered for a moment before managing to force out any words. "Dyeh... does this mean, uh, you're my girlfriend now?" he asked dazedly.
Judging by the way she made his eyelids droop and ears flap with the follow-up, Sakura guessed that was a 'yes.' "Well... good for Hinata, then..." she murmured. She watched them for a moment, remembering her first kiss, but then Naruto's eyes shot wide open and he pulled away from the smaller girl, pointing off to the side. "SAKURA-CHAN... AND INO!?" Snapped out of her reverie, the pink-haired kunoichi looked and...
"AAH! What the HELL!?" A younger version of herself and Ino were perched on the far bench of the pagoda, kissing softly with bright blushes spreading across their cheeks. "I'M... IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" the present-day version denied. "We were just practising becasuse we'd both told each other we had crushes but didn't know how to kiss! And, and right after that Ino said her crush was Sasuke, and I realised I had a rival so we started arguing. It was just a practise kiss, practise! It didn't even count!"
Naruto just rubbed the back of his head and laughed uncomfortably, while Hinata hid a blush with downcast eyes. It seemed wierd for a moment until he realised it was more like the Hinata he'd known instead of this new, assertive Hinata that had joined their mission.
"It... didn't even count..." Sakura repeated to herself, looking back at the bench, only to find it empty again.
Time was pressing in on them, though, and they continued on. The bridge was easily wide enough to pass so Sakura started to hurry ahead of them only to be stopped by a hand grabbing hers. Glancing over her shoulder, she found Hinata restraining her with her unoccupied arm. "You shouldn't go so fast, Sakura-chan," the smaller girl advised, "You could get caught in another ambush." Mollified, she let the new couple set the pace, Hinata swinging their joined hands gently in time with her steps.
Beyond the caldera the tunnel had actuall finished walls instead of rough stone, though time and the elements had been unkind to the wood and plaster surface, and even Hinata diodn't realise the floor had been carpet instead of dirt until they'd passed through an intact door, which had kept the worst of the grime out. It was very dusty and smelled heavily of mold and rot, and the only illumination was still from the glowing mushrooms, thgouh with the ample nutrients afforded by the wooden interior they grew large and thick enough to make it difficult to pass in some places.
They'd begun to pass other doors and intersections, but the only even partialy clear path was straight ahead, so they kept on until they came to a staircase. A faint, rythmic thumping echoed down it, and since the few signs of other people's passage lead up, up they went. The thumping was clearly audible as they reached the first landing with another door, and a shared glance told all three that they wanted to know what was causing it.
Hinata concentrated for a moment, then whispered, "All clear inside the doors, but there is some kind of barrier blocking me from seeing the whole room. It's very large, it extebds as through as many floors and walls as I can see up and to either side."
Another shared look, to wordlessly agree that they couldn't possibly leave it at that, then Naruto nudged open the door and took a quick peek through - metallic columns and something moving on the other side, nothing terribly threatening looking and the columns were big enough to let them hide behind them if they were careful. The thumping was pretty deafening once the door was open, though. All three slipped in and Sakura closed it again, after checking that they wouldn't be locked in. Just as uit latched she heard Naruto shout loudly from behind her, and grabbed for a kunai as she rolled and spun to see the cause...
He was doubled over on the floor shaking, and for just a moment she felt a surge of panic untill she realised that he was just laughing too hard to stand up. Looking out between the massive metal columns - bars, she now realised, to an enormous cage - she realised why.
Long ears. Red fur. A short snout surmounted by baleful red eyes. Fluffy cotton-ball tails - nine of them - and a huge pestle manacled to its front paws that it used to pound incessantly in an equally prodigious mortar, a chute overhead pouring an endless stream of rice in, and a belt below hauling an endless ribbon of mochi paste away, while pullies took the motion of the pestle and carried it out to runn dimly-seen machines in the distance that shaped the balls and wrapped leaves around them... it was Kyuubi no Usagi, imprisoned in a castle on the moon and doomed forever more to make mochi for the world below.
Yes, she could easily understand Naruto's giddiness, and it pulled a good laugh out of her, as well, though Hinata just looked from one to the other as if they'd gone mad. Waving off the blunette's questions, she tossed the unresisting boy over her shoulder and led Hinata through the next door, out into a corridor with daylight visible at the far end. "Come one, let's see if we can find the outer barrier controls," she suggested, setting Naruto back on his feet as his fits of mirth subsided.
They checked the rooms opening off the sides of the corridor, but none held anything but dust or the occasional covered furniture, and they didn't meet anything more threatening than a bat and a lot of cobwebs. The room at the end of the hall had a large bank of windows with one pane half-broken out (the bat flew over their heads again and escaped out through it) and a large monitoring station with a number of consoles still functioning. One section had a grating over it secrued by several heavy loicks, Hinata was able to read through the dust and discover that it was marked with the words "INTERNAL PRISON BARRIER - DO NOT TOUCH - THIS MEANS YOU" in large unfreindly letters, so they concentrated on the other areas.
Half a dozen coughing fits later they'd found a mostly legible map of the castle, the set of seals that controlled the exterior barrier, and a rather newer one nearby that was labeled "Travel Station Alert." A bit of chakra channeled into that sent the signal for Shuko to come with her transport, some more into the outside barrier control seal to shut it off for a while, and it was al over but the loading and riding and unloading back at Konoha, just in time for the beginning of the festival.
Watching the fireworks that evening, the three of them sat on top of the Hokage monument with a tray of the mochi they'd worked so hard to bring Konoha. Hinata snagged one and held it between her lips, pulling the other two closer to share a-
BZNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!!
Sakura came to groggily, feeling a strange craving for mochi as she flailed weakly at the alarm clock. "Bleah... hate... early shift," she complained muzzily. "No one else... up so (yawn) early..." Yawning again, she stretched out, then wandered toward the bathroom and its shower, grabbing the outfit she'd laid out on her dresser the night before as she passed. She just hoped she had time for a shower long enough to wash away the tension of a resless night, she thought, unconsciously adding a bit of extra sway in her hips.
In a small, uncluttered bedroom of the Hyuuga compound, the young heiress to the Head Family snuggled happily into her pillow. She wrapped her legs more firmly around the rolled lump her blankets had become, a soft sigh of contentment passing her lips. "Naruto-kun... Mmm, more... Sakura-chan too..." she mumbled.
Somewhere near the border of Grass and Wind, Jiraya brushed back his bushy white hair and grinned, loosing a somewhat disturbing giggle. He decided to let his apprentice sleep just a LITTLE longer - it would be a shame to disrupt such obviously pleasant dreams, after all, not when he knew how much having that happen irritated himself. Besides, he had a marvelous idea for the next scene he was writing and had to get it into his notes.

Next tine on this forking pile of crack: In My Dream, I was Drowning My Sorrows
(but don't hold your breath)
====================================
The chapter title is from a Van Halen song.
So, how do you like bicurious Sakura and power-fantasy Hinata? It's kind of like Inner Sakura, except Hinata doesn't even let herself think about behaving that way awake... wish sometimes, but only well after the fact. More than Sakura and Naruto, this is mostly Hinata's dream, where she's confident, respected, and powerful, and has the boy she wants within tounge's reach. There are some distinct influences from Sakura as well, but Naruto's only real addition was having something to fight instead of being all girly mushy stuff, and the RPG-like looting of monsters.
Well, that and an "ultra secret teleportation kinjutsu" essentially directly lifted from one of his favorite fighting manga. His original end scene was after Hinata's the next morning, trying to get Jiraya to teach him something new and cool by showing off the kickass jutsu he invented in his sleep and having it backfire, Jiraya berating him for trying something that stupid when half the seals weren't even real, and he was lucky he didn't kill himself and spare Akatsuki the effort. I decided to only have Sakura awake at the end, however, because it didn't feel quite right the other way. Part of the time, Hinata is aware that she's dreaming, as well - though by the time they reach the moon she's gotten so caught up in the dream she forgets.
Come to think of it, if that's how Hinata dreams of being in TXY as well, it's no wonder she resents Rikou so much - not only can she not bring herself live her dream, someone else IS.
Sakura's mom is, of course, Haruhara Haruko from FLCL. I love that show! I'm gonna watch it again! Any resemblance to Sakura's actual family, living, dead, undead, or pining for the fjords, is purely coincidental.
Incidentally, the things I laughed at so hard were Shiitakegakure no Sato, Drop-bear Commandos, Kyuubi no Usagi, and the disclaimer on the note above about Sakura's mom. The Villiage Hidden by Mushrooms ended up having the wrong tone for what I wanted, though, so it got cut again.
Shuko the cat girl is an original character, and I'm rather fond of her. Please be kind to her and give her a good benefits package if you hire her to work in one of your productions. Her name is the same as the palm claws used to help in climbing, and which movie ninja occasionaly use to simulate a tiger attack for assasinations. Her own claws are natural and extend from the back of her fingers and thumbs at the first joint, so they stick out with her hand curled into a paw and still have a good degree of articulation to grip into surfaces. (yes, she has humanlike fingernails as well.) Though I didn't mention it, she also has a tail the same mid-brown as her hair, and green eyes. Her evolutionary ancestors were arboreal, and houses in giant trees are still appealing to the racial psyche.
The title for Chapter Three is from a U2 song IIRC.
Comments and suggestions are welcome.
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> END OF LINESERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
For the next 72 hours, Itachi intoned, I will slap you with this trout. - Spying no Jutsu, chapter 3
"In the futuristic taco bell of the year 20XX, justice wears an aluminum sombrero!"hemlock-martini
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

[classicdrogn]

TEENAGE ADVISORY NOTICE
CONTAINS JUVENILE FANTASY
NOT SUITABLE FOR GROWN-UPS

Ninjas are sooo totally sweet, and by sweet I mean they totally rock! Ninjas flip out and kill people ALL THE TIME! Like once, there was this ninja in a forest, and she totally flipped out and killed somebody! It was AWESOME! And that's what I call REAL ULTIMATE POWER!!!
====================================================
After Sakura had finished her shift at the hospital that morning she'd reported in to Tsunade for the day's training - the usual round of control excercises and practise with healing ninjutsu on wounded animals or stranded fish - followed by extra book work in a corner of the Hokage's office when her chakra ran low, all to prepare for the next chuunin exam, soon to be held in the Leaf again. That's where she was as evening drew nigh and teams began to report in about the day's missions, not exactly in the forefront but not in any way hidden, and not so occupied that she didn't look up and excange pleasantries with the shinobi she knew.
Things became odd when Team 8 came in to report. Shino and Kiba greeted her normally enough, but Hinata froze in place as soon as Sakura called out, a blush painting her cheeks as she meekly replied, "Hello, Sakura-ch-san..." - then practically lit up in red, even her hands pinkish as she covered her face and fled out the door.
Bemused, Sakura turned to the girl's team mates and wondered, "What was that about? She was never even that shy around Naruto, and the only one who doesn't know how she feels about him is the baka himself. Hasn't she gotten a lot better anyway, the past couple of years?"
Hinata's team mates could only shrug and wonder, before getting back to their report. Kiba did worry a bit, though - why had he suddenly got a whiff of the Hyuuga's fresh blood?

THESE CRAZY DREAMS
a 27-hit combo of Naruto crack
from the twisted mind of
ClassicDrogn
Chapter Three: In My Dream, I Was Drowning My Sorrows

Tsunade had carefully gotten helself ready that morning - Sarutobi-sensei had FINALLY nominated his team for the chuunin exam, and while appearances might not be everything she'd take every advantage she could get. She'd heard that there were rookie teams nominated this year as well, and wondered what kind of sensei they had? If Sarutobi-sensei, reknowned as the Professor of Konoha for both his encyclopedic knowledge of ninjutsu, genjutsu, and taijutsu and for his ability to pass it to others thought his students needed three years to be prepared then rookies straight out of the academy couldn't possibly stand a chance... but it wasn't really her problem, even if she'd hate to see any Leaf-nin get hurt trying it too soon.
Putting such thoughts out of her mind, she put on her necklace, picked up her entry form, and hurried out the door, giving her buttpain little brother a sisterly noogie as she passed. Kami, she felt nervous. What if they all failed anyway? What if she was the only one on the team hat failed? What if one of them got killed? That happened in the chuunin exams - though the Hidden Stone bastards who wiped out three teams at the last exam had been banned from this one, thank goodness - What if...?
The worries circling her mind like a flock of vultures fluttered away in the face of the one thing that could always cheer her up as she arrived at the park where their team usually met. "Orochimaru-kun!" she greeted sweetly, and counted it a major victory that the pale teen turned to glance and send a smirk her way. True, her crush had faded in the face of three years of complete indifference, but he was still easy on the eyes, and much less annoying than--
"Goo-ood mor-ning, Tsunade-chan! You're energetic today!"
"Jiraya." she deadpanned. "If you say I'm looking bouncy, I'll make sure you don't wake up for a week, team exam or no team exam," the sandy blonde threatened.
"Right, right, okay..."
Well. Maybe he could be trained... Maybe. With all of them there, they set out for the meeting hall where the first exam was going to be given.
As it turned out, she might have been too quick to dismiss the rookies - all three teams had made it through the first test, at least, though she doubted it had been a good idea for the one in the front row to draw so much attention to himself. Still, with that outfit he must be used to it, and she could sense that he had massive chakra reserves. He probably specialised in holding enemies attention while the rest of his team cut them down from behind, or something like that... either that, or the brat was just a stupid loudmouth. She didn't want to think that badly of him for some reason, however, despite his resemblance to the buttpain.
There he went again... heh, the examiner shut him up pretty good, though Tsunade could only hope the dark haired woman was playing head games with them, rather than being such a psycho for real.
She facepalmed as Jiraya got into an argument with the blond kid and another rookie, an Inuzuka judging by the puppy, over who was the coolest and who would kick the most ass in the next five days. Maybe the rookies were that stupid and loud after all. "Geeze, three gooney birds of a feather," she compl[pained to Orochimaru. He ignored her as usual, seeming far more interested in the Grass-nin with the freaky tounge.
Maybe it was just boys in general who were idiots, she thought. Who cared about some freaky Grass-nin when he had such a tiny amount of chakra?
Actually, that was a REALLY small amount of chakra. She took another, more assessing look, as an opponent who could supress their chakra signature was well above even most chuunin in chakra control - she could do it, but she'd made control a special focus so she could enter medic-nin training as soon as she made chuunin. The way she was able to use it to boost her strength was a very nice side benefit, too, of course.
Well, whatever. It was time to collect their scroll and get to a gate. Ew, sure that was a safe place to keep it, but she didn't care how well he wiped it off after spitting it back up, she was making Orochimaru open that scroll himself. Not even Jiraya had annoyed her enough to deserve that job, though the day was still young.

Sakura was pissed. Beyond pissed, actually, well into the territory marked only "Here be Dragons," ready to charbroil someone and eat them whole. It wasn't because of that fool Naruto shooting off his maouth and drawing attention to their team. It wasn't because of the freaky snake-man who'd scared them literally out of their wits and then done something wierd and possibly perverted to Sasuke-kun. It wasn't even because of the arrogant Sound assholes who semed to be coming out of the woodwork and also wanted to kill, kidnap, opr possibly do even more perverted things to the now unconscious Sasuke-kun, or the way Naruto had been crowing that whatever the freaky snake bastard had done to him hadn't worked while Sasuke-kun was out like a light... okay, it was just a tiny bit of that, but mostly...
It was the guitars. She didn't know how, she didn't know why - well, no she knew EXACTLY why, damn it - and she was absolutely certain she knew who, but they were EVERY-DAMN-WHERE!! She'd ignored the one leaning against the railing of the bridge where Team 7 met. She'd ignored the one in the hallway where those older guys had set up a genjutsu, and where Lee had caught up to challenge Sasuke-kun, AND leaning against her desk at the first exam, AND JUST OUTSIDE THEIR GATE to get into the Forest of Death! She'd ignored a couple more while the snake freak was being scary and perverted, too, but that was more a matter of being busy being terrified for her life, and then having her hands full getting Sasuke-kun and Naruto to a polace they could hole up until the boys woke. Well, now Naruto was awake, and there were six arrogant idiots arguing over whether to kill or kidnap Sasuke-kun, and THERE WAS ANOTHER GUITAR!!
"ARRRGH!!" she howled, frustrated. "OKAY, MOM, I GIVE!! I'LL USE THE DAMN GUITAR!!" Grinding her teeth, she stomped over to where it was leaning against a treeand grabbed it, spinning it a couple of times in her hands to gfet the balance. It was a solid-body electric six-string, cut in a kind of squashed X-shape, and it came to life with a roar as she pumped chakra into the seals that made it all work. "HAPPY NOW!? I'M USING THE FAMILY STYLE, MOM!!"
Naruto and the sound-nin just watched her have her meltdown with a kind of horrified awe - was this what happened when a shinobi snapped? "Ne, Sakura-chan," her blond team mate suggested hesitantly, "I can take these guys, maybe you should rel--"
"SHUT UP, NARUTO!" She interrupted, before stabbing the neck of the guitar at the Sound team with the better fashion sense. "You, you, and you! Time for your ass beating!" Granted, grey camoflage and ... hay, or whatever that one guy had on his back... were still a major Don't, but better than gift wrapping your ass with a big bow. Anyone stupid enough to walk around looking like that was probably weak enough for Naruto to handle, so three punching bags would have to be enough.
Hay-for-brains scoffed and opened his mouth, but she'd heard enough of his crap for one day. A light touch of chakra, fingers in position and strum - "POWER CHORD!" she announced, as a blast of wind and achingly loud sound erupted out of the tube built into the neck. Haybrains and Shades were knocked back, while their kunoichi team mate (the one who kept playing with a senbon that had bells on it) managed to dodge in time. The other three would only have been on the fringes of the attack but dodged entirely, landing facing across from where Naruto was still watching dumbfounded, but seemed amused by the whole thing. Morons.
More importantly, Bells-on had turned her dodging leap into a charge, and was spouting some trash talk about her hair. Goddamn, no one trashed on her hair! Wearing it short was one thing, but there was no way she'd let it get all dull and nasty like some kunoichi hardly worth the name did! Waiting until Ring-my-bells-please had commited to her attack, Sakura set herself and spun the Battle Guitar, calling out "Haruno taijutsu ougi: EL KABONG NO JUTSU!" just before clubbing her skanky face into the dirt, the impact producing a mitghty "BWOOOONNG" from the instrument. The Sound kunoichi twitched, then passed out.
"Inconcievable... KIN!" yelled Shades, before snarling at Sakura. "You think you can fight sound with sound, you little bitch!? You'll pay for that!"
Eyes incandescent and face twisted into a mask of rage, the Leaf genin shot back, "Pay, huh? First installment, have another POWER CHORD!" This time, Shades had produced his own blast and canceled the effect of hers, while Haybrains used his arm amplifier to counter the ear-punishing sound waves. Undeterred, she continued, "HAVE A DOZEN!" before ripping out a few bars, drawing several of them out and modulating it with the whammy to disrupt any hope of a successful counter.
The crushing waves of wind and sound passed, revealing Shades embedded inches into the bark of one of the huge trees, head lolling limply and blood streaming from every orifice. Haybrain wasn't in great shape either, both ears bleeding from popped eardrums, but he'd avoided the worst of the direct damage. "Muh... monster... he stammered, as the girl-shaped demon stalked closer. Turning frantic eyes to the other Sound team, still watching motionlessly, he pleaded, "Why aren't you bastards helping? She's a monster!" He couldn't hear the reply, but the coldly scornful looks and superior smirks told him there would be no aid there. He franticly dug in his haystack for the team's scroll, proffering it in a shaking hand. "Please, take this, and let us escape! Orochimaru-sama said you were the weakwest, so there's no way we could face you. If we mneet again, we still won't attack!"
Sakura almost let him have it anyway... almost... but the tiny spark of concern for his team mates as he looked at where Shades had crumpled and where Bells-on still hadn't moved comvinced her. It was only the faintest glimmer, but it was there... and she remembered telling... who? It didn't matter, but she'd told them that the only time a ninja could be truly strong was when they were protecting their comerades. Or was it someone else telling her? It ddin't sound quite like the sort of thing she'd say...
Abruptly moving off to the side so he could collect the unconscious Sound kunoichi, Sakura nodded jerkily, keeping the 'bat's neck pointed at him as he hauled her on one shoulder, Shades on the other, then leapt away into the trees, his scroll left lying where he'd dropped it when she agreed.
Sakura's fugue was broken by quiet, mocking clapping from the other Sound team. Suddenly the adrenaline was gone, and her anger seemed so trivial, and she'd really used up a lot of chakra there, hadn't she? Maybe she should relax a while like Naruto was saying... "Oh... okay, right," she breahted, suddenly too drained to even hold up the guitar. As it fell from her limp hands to dangle by the shoulder strap, she weakly asked, "What's taking so long... Naruto?" Then her knees gave out, and that was the last thing she knew for a while.

The San-nin genin team meets Team Seven and the Sound Five in the Chuunin Exam, Young Orochimaru is greatly intrigued by the curse seals. Ukon and Sakon entered seperatly, so the "Five" formed two complete teams.
Right, and then re-combined so Orochimaru could slip in on their team, replacing the grass-nin team using his disguise jutsu - Big O goes off to torment Sasuke-teme, the other two run into the San-nin since they've replaced the Sand-nin, the other three of the Five replacing Kabuto and his losers. The battle with the chibi-sannin turnins into a running one, as the overpowered pair try to join up with their comerades - who've already found Sakura & Co., and being SOund they don't really give a damn aout the other Sound team with differrent orders. Jirobu the fatass and Kimimaro the bone man are the ones who meet the san-nin, J buys it quick
"Oro- Orochimaru-sama!?" The fat grass-nin yelped, shock written in his eyes, expression, stance, everywhere.
"Kekekeke... you already know my name? That saves some time. (CRACK!) I don't have to tell you before you die." The long-haired Leaf-nin had quite calmly flickered behind the grass-nin and snappe his neck with an elbow strike between one breath and the next, reappearing beside his team mates before the corpse had time to fall.
"Do you have to be so cold about it, Orochimaru-kun? Just knocking him out would have been enough."
"Pfeh. A weakling, and not even an ally. You're too soft, Tsunade."
The other Grass-nin just stared, flabbergasted. then formed a ram seal and performed a dispel, flakes of mud falling away to reveal a different face, with two red dots on the brow, long white hair, and plain white robes with a purple rope sahs knotted in back. No Hiae-ate was visible, and his eyes were deeply troubled. "Don't... Don't you recognise us, Orochimaru-sama? We are of the Sound Five..."

being so devoted to Orochimaru, Kimi is deeply disturbed, hence the flight.

and K does a strategic retreat when he realises that Tsunade can shatter his best bones anyway - and he can't hit them, because Little O keeps piling on genjutsu that fuck his perception. Hurting but not dead yet when he hooks up with the other three.
Naruto is also "awake" and is the opther dreamer, since he was the only one to fight all of the Five if only briefly, saying that whatever the freaky snake-man treid to do it didn't work. Despite not recognising the events as they happen, he and Sakura are their mid-timeskip selves as in last chap. No ring of flight, no triple-goofy rasengan variations.
Well, probably not. Just the guitars is more continuity than you'd find in most dreams.

Next tine on this forking pile of crack: I don't have a title!
(but don't hold your breath)
====================================
The chapter title is from a U2 song IIRC.
I have to admit - I still snicker every time I see "Haruno taijutsu ougi: El Kabong no Justu" Just a freindly reminder, Sakura fans - ninjas flip out and kill people ALL the time!
I don't yet have a title for Chapter Four - but I do have a concept. This time, the dreamers include the Kyuubi - and she's having her favorite one, about wiping out those Leaf bastards without that blond idiot on a giant frog to get in her way. The only problem? A different blond idiot on the same damn frog... It's post-Gaara-rescue, so he's the third.
If there'll be more after that - who knows? Ideally, it would be 27 chapters to fit the subtitle, but... shyeah, right. I know how the last scene in the series will go, though - the solar storm that's been causing so many sunspots will break up, ending the odd effects felt by the more energy-sensitive inhabitants of its third planet.
Yup, sunspots. No meddling author-insert/deities, no hidden clauses in the Fuin Shiki Fujin, no time travel or soul bonds or chaos butterflies or destined paths struggling to right missteps... sunspots messing with people's chakra is what's causing the shared dreams.
Comments and suggestions, as always, are welcome.
>
>
>
> END OF LINESERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
For the next 72 hours, Itachi intoned, I will slap you with this trout. - Spying no Jutsu, chapter 3
"In the futuristic taco bell of the year 20XX, justice wears an aluminum sombrero!"hemlock-martini
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

[Valles]

Okay, first, this concept and these executions of it are incredibly cool. Kudos.
Second, is it very wrong of me that I was to see Chapter Two as an ongoing altverse of its own? It's fun, and I don't even mean because of the ecchi factor.
...well, not completely, anyway...
Ja, -n

===============================================
"Puripuri puripuri... Bang!"

[classicdrogn]

Yay, praise! Like I said, I can't think of anywhere that I've seen a similar premise behind a story, in Naruto fandom or out of it.
And while Sakura may have forgotten that one, Hinata didn't quite. There's some small measure of carry-over between one and the next - whenever it's not inconveinient - but.... the fact that there will be THREE Orocihmarus running around the Forest of Death by the end of #3 should give some idea of how much wright continuity has.
More will probably come, eventually, because it's just so much fun to mix and mash (no typo) like this.

- CDSERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
For the next 72 hours, Itachi intoned, I will slap you with this trout. - Spying no Jutsu, chapter 3
"In the futuristic taco bell of the year 20XX, justice wears an aluminum sombrero!"hemlock-martini
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

[CattyNebulart]

I see what you mean by 27 hit combo, I think they all hit the funny bone. Sakura decended from a FLCL character? Now that I think of it, it makes perfect sense...
Overall: Very nice, but many annoying typos.

Tsunade stopped pacing, though her hans continued to worry each other until she stood behind her chair, gripping the back to occupy them.
hans -> hands

In no time at all,
it seemed, the trio had left the office and were walking throguh the streets of the city, pondering their next move.
it's odd to put a newline in the middle of a sentence.

Mischievious golden eyes sparkled with humor over a toothy grin as she enjoyed the effect she had on them, even as she pulled opff her oven mitts and fodled the quilt that had been warming the loves just put in the oven while they rose.
a few mispelling in here.

and the pale shaodow of the moon gained substance in the darkening sky.
Drogn's might have shaodow, but the moon has a shadow
"You'll jhave to be careful, nya.
jhave -> have
swweatdrops -> double u does not mean using w twice
cl8inging ... you know there is this thing known as a spell chacker. I'll just leave the other errors for now.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

[classicdrogn]

I've gotten too used to doing my final edit at posting time, which the Library didn't give me enough time for, I guess. I can't edit posts that long on my PSP either. In my defense, no, there is no such thing as a spell checker. That doesn't mean I couldn't go over them again a couple more times.
- CDSERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
For the next 72 hours, Itachi intoned, I will slap you with this trout. - Spying no Jutsu, chapter 3
"In the futuristic taco bell of the year 20XX, justice wears an aluminum sombrero!"hemlock-martini
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

[CattyNebulart]

I see. Sorry I sometimes forget not everyone has their own computer. Still there are online spellcheckers, though I haven't used them in a while.
Oh well it's still good.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."