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classicdrogn · 08-13-2005, 08:36 PM

Edit: subbed in Nathan's character names
Edit2: We gots a title! Tatsu no Kanshin!

Dramatis personae:
Garyuno (Of the fanged dragons) Kennan (wise son) - typical spiky-hair-anime-guy
Kouga (Elegant) Tsuchi (sledgehammer) - typical anime tomboy, Kennan's oldest/best freind
Kouga (Elegant) Gaku (music) - annoying little kid borother to Tsuchi
Gosai (Five colors) Miyou (point of view) - the new female transfer student, long black hair and red eyes
Kogal and Groupies - the Popular Girls
Sensei - Kaji or GTO type male teacher, talked into herding the monkeys on a field trip

So, anyway. Miyou transfers into the class the day before they're due for a cultural field trip to some mountain shrine or other. Kennan is immediately smitten with her graceful walk, flowing hair, and striking eyes. Tsuchi sees him going all gaga and makes a disruption to get him to snap out of it. Kogal sniffs at her, and the Groupies twitter.
Deboarding from the bus at whatever mountian, Sensei takes a headcount (Gaku somehow managed to come along also, much to Tsuchi's annoyance), then tells the kids to piss off and meet him at the shrine up top in half an hour, because he's got a headache from the damn bus ride and needs a smoke. They wander off in groups.
Kogal and Groupies pounce Miyou, who has set out up the (traditional style, wooden scaffold type) stairs that go across the cliff to where the shrine is on her own, having kept to herself on the bus ride. (She's a Strong but Quiet & Reserved type) When she brushes off Kogal's rather condescending offer to 'let Miyou hang around with her' Kogal mocks her (taking special note of freakish red eyes) and naturally so do the Groupies. Tsuchi sees this from where she and Kennan are trying to corral Gaku a bit further back, tells Ken to handle him for a minute, and rushes up to tell Kogal to lay off, or she'll kick their asses again. Kogal snipes back at her unfeminine behavior, then makes haste up the steps. Miyou tells Tsuchi that was unneccesary, but she ignores the mild brush-off and makes with the freindly chatter anyway, if mostly one-sided. She coaxes a half-grin out of Miyou for a moment, and does a little end-zone dance as they reach one of the landings.
Meanwhile, Kennan has settled on racing Gaku up to keep him occupied, and they are closing in rapidly on the girls' position. Ken, being a bit on the weenie-boy side of standard anime male build, is getting tunnel vision as they close on the hudred-fifty foot up mark, where the girls are, and is so focussed on where his next step is going that he doesn't see the girls until he rams headfirst into their butts. After some arm waving all three keep their balance, but Miyou yells at him a bit and delivers an anime-tough-girl-thwap. Gaku, of course, thinking it's great fun, decides to jump on his back at the same time, and the resulting loss of balance sends them both over the railing.
Gaku is also shaken loose by the stumble, so he ends up dangling from Ken's left arm. Kennan himself is dangling by the right arm from where Miyou has both hands wrapped around his wrist, Tsuchi being a half-second slower snagged her by the waist to help anchor.
Grips are a little slippy, so with a kiai of utmost effort, Kennan manges to bring his arm up (curl style first, to get Gaku in close to his shoulder, then up to about head hieght) and Tsuchi lets go to grab her brother, but when she tries to put him down he clings like a monkey and she can't even get an arm loose.
Kennan, shaking from that effort, just dangles, and Miyou's hands are still slipping slowly off his wrist. A quick peek down convinces him that he might as well tell her how cute he thnks she is, taking special note of red eyes. Miyou blushes and tels him to shut up, because he's going to be really embarrassed after "we" pull him up. (Tsuchi is still trying to get "Gaki" to let go, which only makes him cling tighter. A couple of other students are rubbernecking but don't have presence of mind to help.)
Just as his hand slips to the point she's only holding his palm, Sensei runs up and does a slide on his chest to end between Miyou's (spread for traction) feet, one arm out to grab Kennan by the collar. He does the arm-curl lift like it's easy, then Miyou and a finally-loose-except-one-leg Tsuchi pull him over, and the rubbernecks clap appreciatively until Sensei flips into a kipup and bawls them out for just standing there when lives were in danger as if they were watching the evening news.
Meanwhile, Kennan has slumped over at the waist, panting for breath and trying to get rid of the shakes. After a few seconds, he sees Miyou standing in front of him, looking as calm as ever, though breathing a bit heavily herself still. He gives a couple fo half-hearted laughs, and then says, "... I'm not embarrassed." This makes her blush again, and she starts to turn away. He calls for her to wait, and drops to a kneeling position, explaining as she looks back over her shoulder that a hundred feet of air between him and the ground made him realise that there are some things too important to worry about how you look when you do them. Then, he bows until his forehead touches the deck of the landing and says that since he owes her his life, anything he can do is at her command. Miyou is nonplussed, Tsuchi is amazed, and Gaku has muckled onto her waist again, still sobbing. Sensei has been yelling at the crowd all this time, so no one has really noticed their little drama.
Then I woke up, still shaky from that view.
- CD
What, you think Samuel L. Jackson isn't going to survive the zombie apocalypse?

SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

Valles · 08-13-2005, 10:48 PM

I'd watch that, I think. Might depend on where the plot went from there, but if I didn't know then I'd definitely be interested in finding out.
And, of course, Lead latches on to Crush rather than Sensei because she's a -hell- of a lot cuter.
Anyway, I think I have a couple concepts like that - although mine have been sort of bubbling away on my brain's back burner for a year or so.
Concept 1:
(opening theme is something quiet, slow, and hopeful, with images from a relic-esque storyboard depiction of the history of human spaceflight, from Sputnik and Gagarin to the ISS to the first slowboats to the creation of the special plane of reference that allows FTL travel and the rise of the first intersteller empires from the semi-fallen colonies farthest from Earth (I have no idea why the effect propagates in reverse - Because The Plot Says So))
Cut to opening scene - a fly buzzes around in front of a fuzzy background, then is snatched out of the air by an eight-legged gecko-frog-starfish thing that tumbles past and reveals that the entire scene is in zero-G. Camera viewpoint spins around it then focuses in to show our Lead character zonked out in one of those Space Shuttle net sleeping bags. Except for having shortish silver-gray rather than long platinum hair, she looks basically like Urd. Only a lot more so.
Something offscreen starts to beep - she grumbles in her sleep and ignores it, until her pet flips off one of the walls and lands on her face.
Beat, beat, outraged howl.
Cut to her climbing into the ship's control seat - awake, now, and obviously not terribly happy about the fact - and we get a good look at 1.) her figure, since she's wearing a Mechanical Counter Pressure suit and precious little else, 2.) the construction of the ship, which is apparently a plant-based bioship along the lines of a Juraiian Treeship, and 3.) the ship's nifty spherical holographic control system. She hits a control and brings up a vid-window of an older guy who's obviously a military higher-up, then, when he asks, briefs him (and, not coincidentally, the audience), on the truly -massive- starship which has arrived in the outer reaches of the same system as her (but -not- him) using a "trailless jump drive" and sent little parasite explorer ships heading insystem. In the process, we also learn that her people are at war with something they call "The Empire", that the Empire uses FTL drives that leave detectable (electromagnetic) trails in real-space, that -her- folks use a combination of slowboats and stargates for interstellar travel, as well as for supplying their warships with energy and reaction mass, and that she's the only picket they have assigned to this claimed-but-as-yet-empty system. Oh, and that the Strangers use sublight drives powered by antimatter anihhilation (which they can tell because the things scatter assloads of gamma radiation all over the place when they're running).
He tells her to investigate one of the parasites, she says 'Yes, sir,' and the conversation ends. We get to watch her plot her intercept course (with handy-dandy graphical user interface, so the audience can see what's happening), and then cut to commercial.
When we get back, there's a quick establishing shot of her ship (which looks like a sequia crossed with a junkyard) and the parasite (which is without a doubt a member of the Valley Forge school of spaceship design) floating in roughly the same orbit of a blue-green-white earthlike world. The newcomer's parasite ship wears an emblem suspiciously like that of the United Nations.
Cut to Lead sitting in her command couch and wearing a sort of brightly-colored sari-like shirt over her spandex^H^H^H^H^H spacesuit, laughing her ass off as her opposite number, whom we shall call Partner, plays charades (read: flirts) over the commlink, while a little display over that window shows that their ships' computers are busy talking back and forth. Partner is a fairly unremarkable looking guy - short brown hair, brown eyes, white jumpsuit with nametag and NASA-style mission logos - but is obviously built a lot closer to Flash Thompson than Peter Parker.
Then the computer SCREAMS at her, followed shortly thereafter by us learning, through the wonders of voice-activation, that an Imperial battleship has just jumped insystem. Then it microjumps in right on top of them, and we get to see an interesting space battle that both involves a realistic treatment of orbits, inertia, and acceleation and has -no sound-, before the battleship destroys both Lead and Partner's ships, then blips away hunting for his mothership.
Only his ship had a lifeboat, so he grabs her and then they start reentry (entry, since that wasn't the planet they came from?) as we cut to end credits.
Next Episode Previews - We learn that neither of them is really prepared to survive on an alien planet, it isn't always the really -big- predators that you need to worry about, Lead can and -will- eat absolutely -anything-, and she and Partner are almost exactly the same height.
For later on in the series, we'd spend a couple episodes doing survival adventures, then four or five on them trading flashbacks and backstories (along with more romantic and sexual tension than you could shake a stick at), followed by the arrival of the Imperial landing party sent to pursue them and eventual defeat and capture thereof, which in turn would lead to their executing a plan to distract the Imperial Battleship and let his mothership get away. Only it doesn't, and decides to kick the Imperials' ass, in the process bailing Our Heroes out of a desperate situation and showing us, the audience, what it looks like when a starship the size of Manhattan kills god-only-knows how many kps of velocity in a single aerobraking pass - when you're standing on the ground underneath it. And, incidentally, -not- finally establishing your relationship with a romantic kiss, since they'd have done that and, um, rather a lot more ten or fifteen episodes ago.
This is out of a standard one season run, BTW.
Ja, -n
(BTW, Drogn? 'Friend')
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

classicdrogn · 08-13-2005, 11:13 PM

That sounds nifty too, N, but I doubt you'd ever get a producer to agree to leaving the sound out of a space battle. Maybe add a throwaway line about how it's added by the ship's computer for the crew's phychological benefit, but not without any sound.
As for who my Lead latches on to - it was Crush who kept him from falling until someone arrived to help her pull him up, even Friend having to stop helping her to catch the gaki. As for where the rest of the series goes - Lately I'm on a ninja (courtesy of naruto) and magic/monsters (courtesy of FFX) kick, so something Mai HiME-ish wouldn't be a big suprise. Only with more ninja, and an external enemy instead of a Highlander thing.

Quote:
(BTW, Drogn? 'Friend')

"i" before "e" except after "c" and when sounding like "a" as in "neihbor" and "weigh" and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May - and you'll always be wrong, no matter what you say.
It's the weekend. ^_^
More to the point... it's an outline, not a fic. Spelling is only relevant in so far as it gets the point across without undue distortion.
- CD
What, you think Samuel L. Jackson isn't going to survive the zombie apocalypse?

SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

drakensis · 08-14-2005, 01:07 AM

Dramatis personae:
Lead - standard nice, naive anime hero (looks like Takuto (Argentsoma, as he looks in the 1st episode)
Buddy - sidekick and muscial accompaniment, male eye-candy (looks like gourry (Slayers))
Girl - girl-next-door type, female eye-candy (looks and acts like sylphiel (Slayers))
Older Guy - mentor/mysterious stranger (looks like Vash (Trigun) with a goatee)
Nameless Students - mob of inconsequential extras
Starts off a lot like Geshiken - Lead and Buddy are browsing recruitment stalls for campus clubs at their new university. Lead wants to join the roleplay group, Buddy is thinking band and both are figuring anime and sf clubs. None of these have clubs are very eyecatching and Lead asks Older Guy where the anime club stall is - while stood right opposite it. The Nameless Students manning the stall come over and 'protect' the freshmen by driving off Older Guy (who was in no way threatening, hostile etc) and warning Lead and Buddy that Older Guy and his 'crowd' are nothing but trouble. Lead checks his map of the stalls and realises that Older Guy headed to a stall for 'I@U'.
A week later, Lead and Buddy have concluded that the existing clubs all lack any spark of fun: the SF club only watches star trek, the anime club watches un-subbed tapes of 70s animes with paper transcripts, the band is strictly classical and the RPG club caters soley to a single mediocre D&D campaign. Lead and Buddy are therefore not happy. Older Guy turns up, makes nice and suggests they might want to attend an I@U meeting, see if it's more their thing - but doesn't say much about what it's about.
Lead and Buddy meet Older Guy and Girl (another prospective I@U
A few meetings later, Lead, Buddy and Girl are sitting talking - they've been booted quite hostilely from their other clubs for getting involved with I@U and they're a bit puzzled with what's up with the club. Plus, they can't find the lounge on any map of the campus and it's not uncommon for several members, always sophomores or senior, to get paged and rush out of the lounge to unknown destinations.
They decide to poke around and find out what's up and Lead happens to overhear Older Guy getting pestered by another member of the club to give something up, but he doesn't know what. Then Older Guy (looking, pretty shaky) is paged and rushes off. Lead follows and finds him collapsed in an open doorway, obviously in a bad way. Looking through the door he sees a vast underground hanger crowded with giant robots...
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

Valles · 08-14-2005, 01:36 AM

Quote:
As for who my Lead latches on to - it was Crush who kept him from falling until someone arrived to help her pull him up, even Friend having to stop helping her to catch the gaki. As for where the rest of the series goes - Lately I'm on a ninja (courtesy of naruto) and magic/monsters (courtesy of FFX) kick, so something Mai HiME-ish wouldn't be a big suprise. Only with more ninja, and an external enemy instead of a Highlander thing.

*blinkblink*
Ninja? Demons?
Both!
-She's- a super-duper quiet badass ninja (with explosive Ni-tou-ryuu salad shooter action!). -He's- a particularly big, spiny dragon in a people suit. It's a match made in heaven!
I'm seeing the big revelation scene, three or four episodes in after all the relationships are established, where the invading evil demons (as opposed to the good immigrant demons, whose parents and grandparents moved to Earth centuries ago and who just want to make an honest living like any other honest taxpayer) or a rival ninja clan or something try and get to Crush by attacking Lead and kidnapping him or tying him up or something, so they can kill her while she's distracted. For a while, it sort of works, until he figures it out and we see the villian gloating over her battered form (and conveniently ignoring the evil minions or detached bits thereof that she's scattered across the landscape by the truckload), then hear this sort of ripping sound off-screen... He turns to look and CHOMP, gone in a flash.
Then she slaps him for worrying her like that, which is sort of funny since he's still looking more like a T-rex than an ape at the time.
And of course, at least half of the fun, between the occaisional bouts of ass-kicking, would be that they're having this perfectly normal high-school romance - She's -not- a puzzled outsider who's never seen pop culture before, and -he's- not a dateless wimp who couldn't grow a spine if his life depended on it, so that'd set the cliches nicely on their heads while still being tooth-rottingly sweet.

Quote:
More to the point... it's an outline, not a fic. Spelling is only relevant in so far as it gets the point across without undue distortion.

Oh. Sorry, then. ^_^
Anyway, now that I'm not all tired of writing anymore, here's Concept 2:
The overall plot for this isn't quite as developed, so I'll start by setting the scene rather than just telling about the episode. The primary setting is a terraformed gas giant, which, through some astronomic or biological agency which we will Not Investigate Too Closely, is made up mostly of heavier gases, rather than hydrogen and helium. Specifically, nitrogen and oxygen, at about a 7:3 ratio.
Cue floating islands, thanks to little protist-sized coral anologues that leave their silicon aerogel skelotons full of hydrogen when they die. Since there are a number of aspects of the local ecology that rely on 'mining' heavier elements from deeper pressure ranges, there's enough metals and such to support a modest degree of civilization, if you're willing to hunt the critters down to get the raw materials.
Oh, and the largest moon is earthlike, too, if rather low-G.
So, since interstellar civilization collapsed hundreds of years ago, we have this 1920s-ish society living with the open skies and frequent hurricane-grade storms of the giant's habitable pressure gradients. Most of the major power blocks are single nations occupying the Madagascar-to-Australia-sized 'islands' that the denser coral species grow, which also puts them low enough to be fairly warm and catch plenty of rain. The main exception to that 'lowlander's club' is a NATOish alliance of the smaller, high-altitude islands, which are rather drier and colder.
Our Hero is from one of those high islands, and he's a rather Keiichi-ish sort of fellow, except for the blond hair and dark green eyes (neither of which is terribly remarkable on his home island), who makes his living flying the short-ranged armed biplanes that the government highers to chase away some of the more troublesome sorts of local wildlife (like, say, the cessna-sized pack hunting carnivores, or the inquisitive grazing species which happens to be big enough to make a 747 look petite). Now, one fine day as he's walking home, and who should drop out of the sky but a girl! In a parachute and, um, not much else, even.
Which is how he meets the Fish-out-of-water. Who is about 4' 10", has long black hair, and is built like Jen Connelly or your average shounen anime heroine, however you want to phrase it. Her eyes are wierd-colored and don't match - one is bright gold, the other is sort of a purple-pink color - both shades you'd see in a particularly nice sunset, for reference.
Then there's a period of several episodes where she learns the language and they get to know each other, including establishing that she's an astronaut from Up There whose spaceship broke up while it was doing a sampling pass through the gas giant's atmosphere. Since the colony on Aoitsuki is about eighty or ninety years farther along the road back to the stars, we get to see her play the Connecticut Yankee game, and things seem to be setting up for a light-hearted romp.
Then they go visit the local equivalent of the World's Fair, showing off some of her 'inventions', and they attract the eye of the power-hungry Priest-King of the most powerful country in the world. Cue hair-raising escape, capture of Miss Fish, and Hero's efforts to raise an army capable of defeating the tyrant and rescuing her - or at least making enough of a stink that she can rescue herself.
I'm not sure what -she- gets up to in the meantime, but I know there's something - space programs do -not- pick shrinking violets to handle important scientific missions.
Ja, -n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

classicdrogn · 08-14-2005, 02:21 AM

Quote:
She's -not- a puzzled outsider who's never seen pop culture before, and -he's- not a dateless wimp who couldn't grow a spine if his life depended on it, so that'd set the cliches nicely on their heads while still being tooth-rottingly sweet.

And, Friend is -not- secretly hiding romantic feelings for Lead - jeaousy over hanging around less, yes, making secretive doe eyes, no. And when Minoin of the Week tries to kidnap her to get to Lead, she fights it to a standstill until one of them notice the commotion and vaporizze said minion, this being how she learns the Aweful Truth. Well, theoretically aweful, but the prospect of more guys that can give her that good a fight is more exciting than anything else, and her newest and ooldest freinds are there to take care of anything that's too far out of her level, right? YEAH! LET'S KICK ASS, GUYS!
Lead facepalms. Crush sighs and shakes her head slightly. Friend prattles on and pantomimes beating down more minions, until Bro pounces her demanding ice cream or he'll tell their mom she got in a fight again.
- CD

ETA: Lead's family name: Garyuno or Ryugano - 'of the Fanged Dragons.' The dragons were the immigrant demons a few hundred years ago, after the occasional scout form one or another clan looking over the plant for the past few thousand years (Fanged and Stone dragons being western style, Fanged spiky and Stone smooth-scaled, plus the Plumed dragons from South America and the Antler dragons in the eastern style) and their massed presence is one of the prime reasons so few of the evil demons have been seen in the past couple centuries, to the point that many no longer beleive they exist among the shorter-lived humans, and even the young dragons thought they'd moved on to seek easir pickings until the latest demon lord started sending his assault forces.What, you think Samuel L. Jackson isn't going to survive the zombie apocalypse?
SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

Valles · 08-14-2005, 03:36 AM

Quote:
Lead facepalms. Crush sighs and shakes her head slightly. Friend prattles on and pantomimes beating down more minions, until Bro pounces her demanding ice cream or he'll tell their mom she got in a fight again.

I can't wait to see if she learns Super Martial Arts. ^_^
Hmm. Names. We need names.
Crush - Gosai (Five colors) Miyou (point of view)
Friend - Kouga (Elegant) Tsuchi (sledgehammer)
Brat - Kouga (Elegant) Gaku (music)
Lead - Garyuno (Of the fanged dragons) Kennan (wise son)
...unless you can come up with a naming theme that'd include Miyou's name, which is the only one I'm attached to. I like the idea of having a theme for the names, but...
Anyway, an adolescent Fanged Dragon is about eighty, eighty-five percent the size of an adult, but has yet to master the art of coughing phosphorous-laden petroleum-product loogies over great distances and with pinpoint accuracy. They're about one, one and a half tons, which gives them a body the size of a smallish sedan and a mouth big enough to swallow a german shepherd whole. If you had to pick a real-world family of critters to relate them to, you'd say you were looking at a dinosaur. Their face is long and narrow, with forward-facing eyes and lots of recurved teeth - basically like a velociraptor, except for the rather ceratopsian bone frill protecting the neck. They don't actually have any horns, but there are bone spikes sticking out along the plane of the frill. The neck itself is fairly short but strong and quite flexible - perhaps a fifth of total length. The tail is also flexible, and is relatively thin - it's a control surface, not a swimming instrument like a crocodile's or a balance beam like a T-rex's - and makes up another two-fifths of overall length.
The legs (of which there are four) seem to partake equally of raptors and cats - that is, they're decently long, quite flexible, and very powerful, but have divided, fingerlike toes with talons on the tips rather than 'paws', and the wings go back to the dinosaur model, with the entire wing surface stretching from a single 'finger' rather than having several spread across it like the classical bat pattern. Those wings, BTW, are -huge-, with a total span somewhere between two and three -times- the total length from nose to tail - IOW, this critter flies through aerodynamics, not magic. Their flight patterns are, I think, basically eagle-like - soarers by choice, but quite capable of hauling themselves into the air under their own power if need be.
The big place they break from the dinsaurian pattern is in their scales, which are, well, rather fish-like - layered plates anchored to the skin at one end. The scales have sharp edges and come to a point at the outer end, with the ones running along the crest of the spine being -much- more prominent than the rest.
This is a critter that could quite happily hunt elephants. Good thing it's friendly, hey?
Ja, -n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

classicdrogn · 08-14-2005, 08:20 AM

Quote:
I can't wait to see if (Tsuchi) learns Super Martial Arts. ^_^

Well, one of the relatively recent anime I found quite amusing was Airmaster, and one of the reasons I liked it was that the least capable fighter character, half-rival and half-comic-releif, was the first to discover and use what one might call a chi attack in the anime/fighting game sense. Given that her ideal of fighting is (similarly enough to a certain other project of ours) to invest her body with all of her passion and strike with its explosive force... Um, yeah. I think the super martial arts are likely for Tsuchi, in a worldwhere they are possible at all.
RE names - If I had any other suggestions, I would have made them, so these seem good enough. Have you a special rationale behind Miyou, or do you just like the sound of it?
RE Fanged Dragon physiology - sounds good mostly, thgouh I was figuring they'd be a little shorter in the muzzle than this sounds like, with the Stone Dragons (or Gemstone Dragons, if that's not too unweildy a word to make into a name, so called because of the bright almost irridescent colors of their smoothly rounded scales) being long in the face to go with their longer neck and generally slimmer, speed-over-power build. (Though with a dragon, saying that its speed is better than its strength is saying a great deal more about speed. "Weak dragon" is a null-sum statement.) The Stones still only have a relatively simple coloration, most of their body being a single hue, lightening on the belly and darkening in tigerstripes or dapples on the back, where Fangs tend to neutral earth tones.
Plumed dragons are the step between Stone and Antler Dragons, having the serpentine body form but feathered more brilliantly than any parrot, and use magic much more often than the more Western-style Fang and Stone clans. One of their subfamilies are known for their use f wheather-magic, and it was one of their wider ranging scouts who gave birth to the stories of the Thunderbird.
Antler Dragons are the odd ones out in many ways, favoring the use of magic almost exclusively for attack and defense, and are unique in having developed their wings into additional walking and manipulating limbs, also extending their body length so that all six legs are spaced roughly evenly along the central third. Thus, they must use a spell for flight, and an enchanted pearl with the spell pattern for this ability is implanted in the foreheads of their hatchlings almost as soon as they break shell. Their coloration also tends toward the brighter colors, with much more regular patterning then Stone types. They are the rarest and east numerous of the clans, outnumbered by other types even in the oriental regions most affected by sightings of their scouts. They often serve as mediators or magistrates in the dragon community.
Discussed in that order, they form a spectrum from the most physically oriented to most intellectually, though individuals buck racial trends as often as in any other intelligent species.
I think we need another character, a meek brain-type who's a Plumed dragon with an altogether ordinary, even mousy, human-suit transformation (and the two of them being in the same medium-size high school is about average population, probably, maybe even a bit high. Aside from their families, there should be one other, older dragon in the recurring cast, at the very most.)
Hmmm... Karai (cyclonic thunderstorm) + hane (wing/feather) Keiu (welcome/beneficial rain), who wears glasses, and whom Kogal and the Groupies mock by mispronouncing her name "Kaiu" or "strange, dark-colored rain/cyclonic rain storm that drops strange objects (ex: fish or frogs)" - she's one of the Thunderbird types, and completes the main combat team trio of bushi/mahoutsukai/ninja, plus Tsuchi as second-line fighter, and any of them can act as field medic in a limited capacity. Hey, you don't get to be a scrappy tomboy let alone a kunoichi without learning how to take care of cuts and scrapes, or splinting a broken bone (and for Miyou, stab wounds, basic tenketsu stirkes, and deep slashes). Minor healing magic is part of any young dragon's private teaching for much the same reason.
Why? Picture the comedic potential of a full-fledged if adolescent thunderbird, twiddling her thunbs and trying to hide the blush on her snout behind an orange and yellow wing.
Another family of the Plumed clan is Nejihane, or "rainbow+feather"
- CD World-building is fun!What, you think Samuel L. Jackson isn't going to survive the zombie apocalypse?
SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

Valles · 08-14-2005, 04:04 PM

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Well, one of the relatively recent anime I found quite amusing was Airmaster, and one of the reasons I liked it was that the least capable fighter character, half-rival and half-comic-releif, was the first to discover and use what one might call a chi attack in the anime/fighting game sense. Given that her ideal of fighting is (similarly enough to a certain other project of ours) to invest her body with all of her passion and strike with its explosive force... Um, yeah. I think the super martial arts are likely for Tsuchi, in a worldwhere they are possible at all.

And I know how she figured it out, too! See, at some point she's going to have a chance to try and talk Ken's father into teaching her magic or something really cool - and, since, although he doesn't think she's really going to learn anything fast enough for it to be useful, any help for his boy is good news in his books, he agrees.
And then, once he's finished lecturing, she sort of blinks, then plops down right there with her chin on one fist and her brow furrowed in though - before we cut to a chibivision explanation of how she's taking what he's just told her and melding it with what her martial arts studies have already taught her about ki and the body's energy and such.
Cue Tsunade-pawah. Or whatever.

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RE names - If I had any other suggestions, I would have made them, so these seem good enough. Have you a special rationale behind Miyou, or do you just like the sound of it?

Just the sound. It seems like it'd suit her, somehow.

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Discussed in that order, they form a spectrum from the most physically oriented to most intellectually, though individuals buck racial trends as often as in any other intelligent species.

With the Fanged and Stone dragons never bothering to pick up more than, as a rule, a basic handfull of spells - the magical equivalent of mall math - just because, when you're -that- high on the local food chain, there's not much point in going farther...
Oh, and dragons almost certainly breed the same way humans do - one child at a time, with great care and investment of effort, since that's what tends to happen when a species' primary competition is others of its own kind.

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I think we need another character, a meek brain-type who's a Plumed dragon with an altogether ordinary, even mousy, human-suit transformation (and the two of them being in the same medium-size high school is about average population, probably, maybe even a bit high. Aside from their families, there should be one other, older dragon in the recurring cast, at the very most.)

I think that they'd be rather rarer than that - say, one in ten thousand... but that'd be offset somewhat by noting that, as generally solitary as dragons may be, they're just as capable as human parents of wanted their kids to grow up around a real peer group.
So, when her father got a new job and had to move to whatever city we're setting this in, they picked the house they did so's to put her in the same school district with the only other dragon in the area around her age.
Oh, and I know who our other local dragon should be - a police chief or inspector, specifically the one who keeps getting assigned to look into all the wierd shit associated with this budding demonic invasion.
You do realize that either Keiu or Tsuchi is going to have to have a tragic romance with the obligatory redeemable-villian character?
Ja, -n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

Foxboy · 08-14-2005, 04:26 PM

All this talk about the mains and none about the villains, SHAME ON YOU! [Image: wink.gif]

I'd like the demons to be Rakshasa instead of Oni, just because of the fact that dragons and tigers are supposed to be natural enemies in Oriental tradition.
Plus, this lets the character designer throw a catgirl or two amongst the enemies....
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll

classicdrogn · 08-14-2005, 07:08 PM

Quote:
You do realize that either Keiu or Tsuchi is going to have to have a tragic romance with the obligatory redeemable-villian character?

Sure. Probably Keiu, since she's the one more likely to wait and talk if an opponent gives the chance, rather than just jumping in.
single children, or (rarely) twins - sounds about right. The birth rate is kept even lower than among professional humans, due to the fact that dragon children take about the same amount of time to reach self-sufficiency but their lifes spans and the practical fertile ages for females are much longer than a human.
(As a side note, young and adolescent dragons? They scarf like a Saotome when in human form, and consider it a light snack - it's a good thing magic can make them invisible even to radar so they can fly out to sea and hunt every night, or they'd starve. It's just not possible to support that rate of growth with a human-size mouth and stomache.)
Further, the Antler dragons, while still cross-compatible with their kin, must perform complicated rituals over the egg shortly after it is laid, to either give the offspring functional wings and a wing-flier boody shape or six legs, rather than being stuck in between. Dragon/human crossbreeding requires a spell to reinforce the natural transformation ability, and will result in a child that is mostly human but with higher muscle power per pound, a much higher base mystic energy, and a few superficial dracnic features. And despite being oviparous and scaly, dragons are warm blooded and breastfeed until the children start to grow front teeth.

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I'd like the demons to be Rakshasa instead of Oni, just because of the fact that dragons and tigers are supposed to be natural enemies in Oriental tradition.

Plus, this lets the character designer throw a catgirl or two amongst the enemies....

Mmmm, catgirls... H_H Okay, you're in. Tell us about these enemies you see.
- CD is distracted by the thought of the catgirl from Tenchi Muyo GXP with tigerstripes... white tiger nekomimi, rrrrowl. Super space-hottie.

ETA: There's something we've forgotten, here - if Kennan is a dragon in human form, able to change back whenever he likes, why is it so dangerous when he's dangling over the side of the stairs? Did he get so wrapped up in the moment that he just forgot he's not a normal guy? Did he have some special sealing done, locking him in human form for a while so the priests wouldn't be able to detect his otherworldly nature? He couldn't just not know yet himself, could he? If the last, then cancel the bit about flying out to go fishing every evening , but I think the second is most likely.
ETA2: I forgot this twice now... but the reason interclan relationships and childrn are rare among dragons is simply that there are so few of them that the main place to meet another dragon is when all the families in the clan meet every decade or so to trade news, air greivances, etc. There's more than enough subfamilies to prevent inbreeding even for the Antler clan. What, you think Samuel L. Jackson isn't going to survive the zombie apocalypse?
SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

Valles · 08-14-2005, 08:40 PM

Quote:
Further, the Antler dragons, while still cross-compatible with their kin, must perform complicated rituals over the egg shortly after it is laid, to either give the offspring functional wings and a wing-flier boody shape or six legs, rather than being stuck in between. Dragon/human crossbreeding requires a spell to reinforce the natural transformation ability, and will result in a child that is mostly human but with higher muscle power per pound, a much higher base mystic energy, and a few superficial dracnic features. And despite being oviparous and scaly, dragons are warm blooded and breastfeed until the children start to grow front teeth.

My thoughts on interbreeding had basically been that the genetic kinship ran Plumed - Fanged - Gemstone - Antler, with fertile kids being impossible across more than about one degree of seperation... That's -without- magical interference, of course.
Dragon-human crossbreeds... eh. I don't really like the 'they're like Herb' theory - I'm more inclined to say that the magic that allows them to be concieved in the first place does so by, um, creating a genetic representation of what one partner would be like if they were the other's species - twice - and then giving the kid the ability to switch between his two-human-parents and two-dragon-parents forms in much the same way that full dragons stuff themselves into human suits... only, because the monkey-edition is just as much their true form as the other, they don't need to eat so much.
This might mean that a sizable proportion of the 'dragon' population is actually half-human, although the way the spell works could easily be fiddled to say either that half-breeds alway have half-breed kids -or- that their kids are always the other parent's species.
Or, for that matter, whichever of the two the parents pick.

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There's something we've forgotten, here - if Kennan is a dragon in human form, able to change back whenever he likes, why is it so dangerous when he's dangling over the side of the stairs? Did he get so wrapped up in the moment that he just forgot he's not a normal guy? Did he have some special sealing done, locking him in human form for a while so the priests wouldn't be able to detect his otherworldly nature? He couldn't just not know yet himself, could he? If the last, then cancel the bit about flying out to go fishing every evening , but I think the second is most likely.

Not neccessarily - this cliff is one, two hundred feet high, right? That's, what, two or three seconds of free fall?
How long does it take to shift forms? ^_^ ...and, for that matter, how long would it take to pull up out of that kind of dive?
Oh, and if you take the approach that dragons tend to be honorable creatures, then Ken's statement of indebtedness to Miyou makes a -lot- more sense.
More Dragon Biobabble!
Stone dragons tend to be fifteen to twenty percent longer than Fanged ones, but more than half of that total is tail. Their necks are also proportionally longer, and their bodies considerably more slender - think of them as cheetahs to the Fanged dragons' tiger. They have the same sort of frill as their cousins, but not the spines along its edge or the back of each vertebra. Legs are about the same length but slimmer, and the wings shorter, broader, and a lot more rounded at the tips - IOW, designed for agility rather than soaring, more like a Gyrfalcon than an eagle.
Ja, -n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

classicdrogn · 08-14-2005, 09:26 PM

Quote:
Not neccessarily - this cliff is one, two hundred feet high, right? That's, what, two or three seconds of free fall?

How long does it take to shift forms? ^_^ ...and, for that matter, how long would it take to pull up out of that kind of dive?

Okay, yeah, that makes sense. Transforming probably takes 3-5 seconds to pack or unpack all that mass wherever it goes, and without time to pull up as you say, a dragon MIGHT live where a human would splash, but would be too badly injured to get out of there, and whle there might be those at the highest levels of human government who are in on the whole dragon-cohabitation thing, you can bet your average beat cop or SDF soldier - or even midrank, local commander - doesn't know them from Gojira.
Ypur edition of half-dragon - okay, I'll buy that, with the caveat that their physical forms have a closer relation in size than the average true dragon and human-suit. Meaning that if you have a dragon and a half dragon fighting, in human form the half-dragon will dominate, being built like a buma, but in dragon form it's reversed, with a half dragon from the same clan being about 2/3 the size of an otherwise equal full dragon. I still hold to their having a higher innate magic potential, however, making a half-Antler a truly frightening proposition for the traitorous villain. I'll have to look for a chinese to english translator to see about a name for him - (antler)long (shining? whirlpool? undertow?)
- CD
What, you think Samuel L. Jackson isn't going to survive the zombie apocalypse?

SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

classicdrogn · 08-14-2005, 09:53 PM

Found one! More to the point, I found one that also gives romanized versions, and even has sound clips for the correct tonality.
MDBG
Lujiaolong ("deer" + "angle/horn/horn-shaped" + "dragon")
An Liu (undertow, "dark; obscure; in secret, covert" + "flow, circulate, drift; class")
or

Xuan Wo (whirlpool, "revolve" + "eddy/whirlpool") (this would be a pretty close rendition of "uzumaki naruto"/"swirl spiral" for that matter)
or
Jing Cai - ?? (brilliant, "energy / perfect / excellent / refined / very / proficient" + "to pick / to pluck / to collect / to select / to choose / to gather")
I think I favor either An Liu or Jing Cai, myself.
- CD
Edit: fixed the 'searched word' for An Liu and added it for Xuan Wo, and took out the question marks ezBoard made of my carefully pasted in unicode chinese.What, you think Samuel L. Jackson isn't going to survive the zombie apocalypse?
SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

Valles · 08-14-2005, 10:50 PM

I like An Liu, personally. It seems like a more appropriate choice.
Anyway, that gives us four serious characters on the other side -
An Liu, the traitorous dragon, whose magic shall not avail him once Kennan gets around the spell that had locked him in human form.
(Nameless love interest), the rakshasa (or, please oh please, rakshasi) that Keiu gets involved with later on in the plotline.
Ravana, whose role in these events should be obvious.
And the as-yet-nameless Jounin of Miyou's ninja clan, who is of the school of thought that all nonhumans are evil, or at least a deadly threat to humanity, and thus need to be exterminated ASAP... and are -certainly- not to be... -consorted- with.
Plus, of course, a basic array of faceless ninja and summoned tigers that the real bad guys are throwing out as cannon fodder... their individual characters and degree of development would vary depending on how serious a story you wanted.
Dracobio, part III!
Plumed dragons are easily the smallest of the four subspecies, with an overall body size somewhat smaller and a good deal more compact than a Stone dragon's, and much smaller extremities. Their tails are much shorter and thinner than other dragons', and are mostly bone with enough muscle to control the long feathers that are their -real- control surface. Their frill is both smaller and much narrower than the other types, more like a Pteronodon or a Hadrosaur than a Ceratopsian, and is covered by a cockatiel-like crest of feathers. Neck and snout are both proportionally short, more like a monitor lizard than a carnosaur. Wings are feathered and birdlike, and more feathers cover the rest of the body. Coloration varies by individual, but usually features turquoise or aquamarine heavily. Besides inspiring Amerind and Maya/Aztec legend, they're also the reality behind the concept of the griffin.
Ja, -n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

classicdrogn · 08-15-2005, 01:10 AM

Yeah, An Liu is probably the best of them. RE Plumed serpents, that's the southern/jungle favoring subfamily, the group who favor drier climates like the plains and desert of the american midwest tend to browns, reds, and yellows, whether of the weather-magic school or not. Thunderbird was one of the weather magic type, Firebird was not, and Quetzalcoatl was fond of healing and utility magic.
As for the redeemable rakshasi dark general... Hmm. There's the choice between something hindu based for her name, or a variation on Byakko, the white tiger of... one of the cardinal directions... from Japanese tradition.
Even if Miyou's jounin is considered an opponent, it still needs two more Dark Generals - you've got to have four, after all: the weak one, the traitor, the redeemable one, and the psycho. The middle two are taken care of, but the slots for entry-level evil weenie and bloodthirsty evil bastard are still open. Foxboy, did you have some ideas, or just the suggestion for rakshasa as the invader demons?
- CD
Edited again to add: There's a good reason to go for Byakko for the rakshasi - if the other two generals favor taking the forms of a turtle and a bird (Crane?), the four Dark Generals have the theme of the four gods of the corners of the earth - at least, I think that's what they are. Since rakshasa ar shapechangers, appearance is an easy thing for them to manage.What, you think Samuel L. Jackson isn't going to survive the zombie apocalypse?
SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

Valles · 08-15-2005, 02:51 AM

Quote:
As for the redeemable rakshasi dark general... Hmm. There's the choice between something hindu based for her name, or a variation on Byakko, the white tiger of... one of the cardinal directions... from Japanese tradition.

West, if my memory of Fushigi Yuugi is to be trusted.
Hmm. Generals...
Lujiaolong An Liu - Lord of the East, has a water motif. Cold calculating ruthless bastard type. As we've noted, he's half Antler-dragon, and the other half is, of course, Han Chinese.
(south african name) - Fire user, personally a coward, but clever with plans and very popular with his troops due to a large degree of mutual loyalty. Associated with the South. Natural form is, well, an ostrich, and human form is short, slightly overweight, and unimpressive even -with- the snappy business suit - like your favorite uncle from Johannesburg.
Maeve (intoxicating) Kerr (boggy or swampy area) - A nice girl in a nasty business, who comes from the West and specialises in magics related to earth, stone, and growing things. Her human form looks like a Japanese stereotype of an American girl - or an American stereotype of a Swedish one, I understand that the two images are much the same - and her natural form is somewhere between Aisha Clanclan and Felicia.
(russian name) - Wind master, thug, rapist, all-around bastard. Surprisingly ordinary looking as a human, but bears a remarkable resemblance to a certain video-game villian as a Rakshasa. Heavy Russian accent, claims to be from Arkhangelsk.
Ja, -n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

Valles · 08-15-2005, 05:00 AM

and getting back to "Concept 1", since my worldbuilding muse is pushing.
Lead's people, whom I've mentally tagged as 'the Casters,' from caste, the social division, rather than cast, to throw, are, as you might have guessed from their use of bioships, great genetic engineers. Those two facts in combination would lead you to guess that they might engineer people to suit them to their careers - and you'd be right. Fortunately, from a humane point of view, their grasp of psychology, combined with the broadness of the possible fields and, in cases of last resort, the ability to -alter- someone's genetics after they've already reached adulthood, means that the forcible entrapping that your average westerner would fear from that sort of system is mostly eliminated. After all, what's the point having roles for people if they can't be happy in them? Lead, personally, was a cross-caste child who took up her father's profession - pilot in military service. Her mother was, to borrow a term from Firefly, a Companion, which field they view as falling under psychological therapy and such.
Partner, on the other hand, is from a post-singularity Earth. The reason he seems so familiarly human is that, however smart he may actually be, he's got essentially the same drives and worldview as we do. If he didn't, he would have been part of that proportion of every 'generation' that goes through The Anchor and into the much-more-interesting hyperspaces that happen to allow FTL travel as a happily coincidental side effect. That's not to say that Earth and the other worlds of the Solar system haven't changed from what -we'd- expect, just that they're -comprehensibly- different rather than out-and-out-wierd. Sort of like what the United Federation of Planets would do with universal nanites and Ghost in the Shell cyber-tech.
So, neither of them is exactly what you'd call 'base-line human.' He's not actually a machine, but between the 1:1 nanite-to-cell ratio and the way what mechanical bits he -does- have are woven in and around so's to take all the actual stresses, he might as well be - to the extent of having built-in radar, radio, mathematical coproccessor, etc.
-She's- all meat, but that doesn't mean much when you're talking about a degree of biotechnology that -grows its own fusion reactors-... specific abilities I have in mind are breathing water, -extreme- pressure variation tolerances (she wasn't wearing her helmet when she punched out of her ship - and wasn't noticably put out by the fact), regeneration of lost limbs and organs (moral of Episode 2 - Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Apex Carnivore, played for comedy), blood vessels that constrict and form their own tourniquets when cut, and her digestive system's ability to process pretty much any organic compound into useful nutrition (again, played for comedy of the what-on-earth-is-she-eating-now flavor.)
Ja, -n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

Foxboy · 08-15-2005, 05:12 AM

'Sall good. So, Maeve is our "Byakko..."
I was kinda just saying that "tigers" like the way rakshasa are portrayed in D&D would make good enemies...
Are we going for an anime-Sailor Moon "monster of the week" ratio? Or where every episode moves the plot along, instead of "character-building" filler?
If so, Maeve's minions should be more European-style fey and/or other monsters. Y'know, the cute ones that are actually more dangerous than the obvious African nasties from Jaan van der Boer(?).
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll

Valles · 08-15-2005, 06:33 AM

If we have Ravana manifest as a tiger-monster, then we get to keep out traditional hatred resonance... and, for bonus points, Jaan and Britva (russian for 'Razor', since I'd bet he's a gangster on top of everything else) don't get along at all, at all.

Quote:
Are we going for an anime-Sailor Moon "monster of the week" ratio? Or where every episode moves the plot along, instead of "character-building" filler?

I think it could be made to work either way - but my personal vote is for the plot-heavy one.
Hmm.
I typed up smallish episode summaries for episodes 1-9, but I don't really like them. For two reasons - first, they'd make Miyou, rather than Kennan, the main character, and second, they'd invalidate Drogn's take on Tsuchi's first meeting with the demons, which I quite liked.
Hmmm. Thoughts, people?
Ja, -n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

***Bob Schroeck*** · 08-15-2005, 07:48 AM

Quote:
-She's- a super-duper quiet badass ninja (with explosive Ni-tou-ryuu salad shooter action!). -He's- a particularly big, spiny dragon in a people suit.

They fight crime!
Sorry, I just had to.
(As I quickly browse the boards while waiting for a very late-night load of laundry to finish so I have a clean white shirt to wear to my grandmother's viewing tomorrow...)

-- Bob
---------
It's a "magical" land. I think "magical" is ancient Greek for "pain in the butt". -- Bun-Bun, Sluggy Freelance, 11/9/03

classicdrogn · 08-15-2005, 09:09 AM

I vote for the following for inclusion in the Ten Commandments of the series bible:

Thou shalt not place a major character in a love polygon, for they are cliche and overused.
Thou shalt not create an episode that advanceth not the plot, in at least minor ways.
Thou shalt not use the devices of time travel or wish granting
Likewise, thou shalt not use any other form of episode reset button. If thou wish it to have no effect, write it not.
Thou shalt not require characters to be unaccountably stupid or unobservant counter to ther established traits, merely that the episode plot may advance. Think thou longer and devise a better plot, rather.
Thou shalt recall that abusive relationships are not funny, only real and serious offenses are cause for physical retaliation.

That's only six, but I'm sure there a few more useful blanket rules to include, and the second and fourth relate to the question at hand. Of course, there's no reason that advancing the plot can't aso cqall for defeating the minion of the week, and establishing and developing characters does have its place in plotting, or else why bother to have more than one?
Speaking of charactrers... has anyone been seing Tsuchi as anything but a redhead? It seems like the tough gals always are, or at least reddish-brown haired, the only immediate exceptions I can think of being Hakubi Ryoko and Tendo Akane... and despite what some say, Akane's quite girly when not in the grip of her temper. I admit, my own amage of her is pretty much Midori from the video game Evil Zone plus a waist-length braid and a darker tan, but that's because I really like Midori. (In short - red hair, green eyes, maroon sport-shorts and denim vest with torn edges, white tank top under vest, black All Stars, black fingerless gloves.) I vote to give her dark blue, violet, or green hair instad, just to be different, but keep the walnut-brown, deep tan and fashion sense.
- CD
What, you think Samuel L. Jackson isn't going to survive the zombie apocalypse?

SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

Valles · 08-15-2005, 03:29 PM

Quote:
Speaking of charactrers... has anyone been seing Tsuchi as anything but a redhead? It seems like the tough gals always are, or at least reddish-brown haired, the only immediate exceptions I can think of being Hakubi Ryoko and Tendo Akane... and despite what some say, Akane's quite girly when not in the grip of her temper. I admit, my own amage of her is pretty much Midori from the video game Evil Zone plus a waist-length braid and a darker tan, but that's because I really like Midori. (In short - red hair, green eyes, maroon sport-shorts and denim vest with torn edges, white tank top under vest, black All Stars, black fingerless gloves.) I vote to give her dark blue, violet, or green hair instad, just to be different, but keep the walnut-brown, deep tan and fashion sense.

I'd been thinking that part of the fun with her would be that, when she's in uniform and playing nice, there's -nothing- to give away that she's not just J. Random Schoolgirl. Which means normal skin tone and black hair. And I didn't want to suggest the braid just because I happen to really like that style (for good reasons, since I basically wear it myself) and am... predisposed to include it -everywhere-. Which, of course, means that yes, I approve.
Actually, the one I'd been seeing the shocking hair color on would be Keiu, who I'd put as your classic ultra-petite (although it might be kinda shocking-fun to make her a bit zaftig, or tall and powerful like Sakaki), with hair colored the same shade as her feathers (she -is- a tropical type, -right-?) and falling a little past her shoulders... That length because I don't think I've ever seen an anime character with just middling-long hair. Short, yes - Kanna, Ami, Sumire. Long, yes - Sakura, Makoto, Michiru. Very long, yes - Minako, Rei, another Sakura. Ultra long, even, yes - Usagi and Setsuna. But never to just between the shoulder blades, which I've seen a -lot- in real life.
The other major character design feature I'd been thinking on would be that, before the series started, each of the four main characters would have at least fifteen complete everyday street outfits already designed - it'd cost more for the animation, I guess, but I think that it's the little details like that that make or break shows.
Other commandments -
(possibly a rider on five) Thou shalt recall that gender roles do not limit ass-kicking potential, and thus realise that the damsel can easily resue herself.
Thou shalt recall that the villians do not see themselves as such, and that, as the heroes of their own stories, they play to win.
Thou shalt not kill a major character without just compensation to the audience, but neither shall you provide them with script immunity.
Thou shalt provide a plot for both series and episode which contains a discernable and satisfying beginning, middle, and end. (I'm talking to -you-, Hideaki!)
Ja, -n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

Rieverre · 08-15-2005, 03:55 PM

You people keep giving me ... ideas ...
It's mildly distressing when I find myself coming back from a week at the beach and without any net-connection to find this sort of thread. And start to think.
And I figure - I've already got a plot involving dragons tucked away somewhere, but that was for a fantasy setting. But the world is one I can set other things in, since I've got history sketched out ... and there's been a marked lack of good fantasy anime appearing lately - incidentially, I may be weird but Scrapped Princess didn't appeal to me at all. My playlist's choice of song at that moment gave me a much needed shove ... and I found myself sketching out the plots of the two initial episodes (or you could see them as being one single longer pilot episode) and the following story instead of working on Incarna, which I'd intended at the time.

Concept:
Revv - because we don't get enough good fantasy anime these days. Warning. Rated MA (or, whatever).
Intro: We get a nice view of the rising sun over a scenery of rolling hills, first off the bat. Cloud cover is minimal. Camera pans, focuses. Bird of prey of some kind - brown feathers with white tips, amber eyes - circles a few dozen feet above a grassy hill. Zoom in on eye. Zoom in on a moving shape reflected in it. Eye blinks. Motion shot following the bird as it throws itself into a fall, grabs a rabbit, then flies offscreen, with the camera now pointing towards a town, castle included, off in the distance.
Light hearted piano music starts to play.
the words:

appear in the lower right corner. Fade. Are replaced by:

All the while the camera slowly drifts towards the town. Scene change.
A few snippets - show moments of a typical day in the town while handily introducing our focus chara at the same time.
Hero - spiky haired knight guy. Intro-ed as he wakes up (ie: falls out of bed), rubs head, yawns, notices he's slept in (again - typical anime protagonist trait) gets dressed in his knight gear, complete with obligatory Zweihnder. Internal monologue as he does this tells us a few facts. Father was a loyal knight of the realm-blahblah-died when Hero was young-blahblah-and so on. We also get the idea, from a few offhand comments, that there's this big war with someone called the Outsiders going on.
Camera pans over the town, bird's eye view like, during the latter part of the monologue. Complete with slight weaving motion. Comes up to show the castle. Focuses on a Figure standing within the courtyard. You get to hear the sound of rapidly beating wings. Zoom out to show that the view was indeed a birds eye view - as in, the bird from the intro. It drops the rabbit as it flies above the Figure, who snatches the falling prey, then lands on Figure's outstretched arm.
Introducing - Older Guy - experienced soldier type person. Scruffy, hasn't shaved in a few days, squints, etc. Obligatory mentor character to Hero.
Hero and Older meet up in the castle, with Older scolding Hero because Hero is barely on time. They trade banter as they walk inside the castle.
Cut to throne room and scene of Older and Hero kneeling before the Queen (regal and cold looking female character in semi-elaborate black gown-type thingy). Of the two thrones only hers is occupied. Sounds get muted again, aside from internal monologue. It starts telling us the King (flashback shot - rugged looking older guy in shiny armor riding away from the town, followed by a company of mounted knights) left for the war a few years ago (shot - battlefield - broken weapons, banners, barren ground, the occasional severed limb) and it didn't turn out very well (shot - Royal bedchamber - formerly shiny armor breastplate and a broken sword sit in a shrine to one side of the bed). It tells us the Outsiders (shot - marching army of soldiers in smooth, chitinous looking armor. The occasional scurrying Thing passes alongside the ranks.) have been slowly advancing over the past few years, despite the best of the so called Alliance (shots/scenes of elven archers - obligatory cute elf chicks included - atop barricades. mages hurling spells. etc.). The news had arrived that a neighboring country had fallen, and the Town was the next closest settlement the fight would be moving towards, or something to that effect.
We also find out that Older is the only survivor of the company of knights that went with the King, and it was he who brought back the armor and sword.
Usual 'And so we are faced with grave danger, but ...' type speech from the Queen follows. With the but being the recent discovery of something about an ancient artifact(sword) called Freedom that could turn the tide of the war in their favor.
Expository dialog and scenes showing the Things that we've seen in the Enemy Army shot - they're demons of various shapes and sizes. Apparently, the Outsiders (we'll get references that they're not from this world as an explanation later on) can bind demons to do their bidding. The artifact is supposed to be able to destroy/cut such bonds.
The artifact is within the Kingdom somewhere, so Older and Hero are supposed to act as native guides/escorts to the people looking for it. After the audience is over Hero is dismissed. Older stays for a moment. Queen delivers speech about redemption for letting his liege die in battle and not following like a loyal knight should, and that he should make certain the artifact comes back to the Town in their hands. Older leaves.
Cut to outside, with the camera showing the castle entrance from a distance. Hero is waiting for Older. Older comes out. The two start talking. Hero's internal monologue continues, delivering the ('this would be the beginning of my life's greatest adventure').
Camera zooms out to show we were getting a bird's eye view again, literally, since the bird from the Intro is sitting on the ramparts and looking down towards Older and Hero. It blinks, then flies away. Camera pans after it. Fade to black.
Next day. Wagon and two horses come into town. Older and Hero are waiting for it in the castle courtyard. Obligatory party meeting scene, with the riders of the two horses lowering the hoods of their cloaks. One elf-chick, bow and arrows included (token silver hair). One warrior-chick, chainmail bikini not included (more Lodoss style leathers), with sword (token redhead).
Weedy looking Scribe guy, spectacles included, stumbling out of the wagon - he's the translator who found the references to the artifact in the ancient texts - and Priestess (token serene brunette) complete the party.
The rest of the Episode is basically character interaction. Older ribbing Hero about his sneaking peeks at Elf-chick, Priestess ribbing Warrior-chick about sneaking peeks at Hero, Elf-chick being cool&aloof, Scribe-guy filling the role of comic relief.
Episode ends with the Party leaving the Town, with Older letting loose the Intro-bird whose perspective we look at the departing Party from in the final scene.
Fade to black.
Outro: grassy hill, wind blowing, pensive sounding piano tune plays.

Ep02 - white
Intro: piano music again, a bit more tense this time. Flashback shots and explanatory VO tells us what happened last time.
Starts with shots of rain falling in a forest, and a fire flickering. A couple of makeshift tents standing along the edges of a forest trail. Scribe-guy looks haggard and is writing something down, the others outside of Priestess look moderately beat-up. Priestess is doing the glowy-hands-healing-thingy.
We get a series of flashbacks telling us it's a few days after they left the Town. They're so beat up because they ran into an Outsider foraging party (appropriate battle scenes - Hero with his Zweihder in motion, Older swinging an axe, Elf-chick working with bow and arrows, Priestess throwing around exorcisms at the few demons present with the Enemy party, and Scribe-guy turning out to be a decent mage who suffers from a lack of stamina - fries several asses with fire and lightning spells before he falls unconscious).
Scribe checks his notes, tells the Party they're close and that they'll find the artifact soon if they can keep going. This is actually the first time he's said more than his name onscreen.
Hero and Older argue. Older says they should wait for a few days and hide out, in case the Enemy sends more troops to check what happened to that scouting party. Hero says they ought to move as quickly as they can, because it the scouting party was there then that meant the Enemy is closer to the Town than they'd initially believed, and they really ought to get the damn artifact so that they won't be returning to ruins.
Elf-chick sides with Hero, Warrior-chick reluctantly agrees with Older, Priestess is undecided and Scribe-guy sides with Hero because he's enthusiastic to get to his discovery.
Next day they move on.
Scene change. One of the Things - basically a dog-like furless beast the size of a small pony - reports to its superior. Said superior is a sexy-evil-dominatrix-bitch-queen type demon. Leathery black wings included. Leather included. Lots of leather.
Scene ends with a close up of the dominatrix's lips, slowly curling into a smirk.
Cue flash of lighting.
Scene change.
The Party is standing outside a bare rock wall, with Scribe fiddling with his specs as he looks through his notes. Hero is trying to make conversation with Elf-chick, and getting little out of its outside of monosyllabic answers. Older gives them an amused look. Warrior-chick is pacing nervously. Priestess looks vaguely uneasy about something.
Scribe-guy goes 'ahah!' mutters something, and a sigil lights up on the rock wall. Part of it slides to the side.
The Party go in, the Priestess a bit hesitant to enter and ending up brining up the rear with Warrior-chick, who gives her a few words of encouragment.
Shot of the outside of the cave. All is quiet, until there's a rustle in the bushes. Cut back to Party.
They follow the corridor downwards, until it terminates at a big effin' door that's carved with images of winding and twisting chains. Scribe-guy starts rifling through his notes again, with Hero examining the door as well, and Older doubling back for a moment to make sure they'd not been followed.
Priestess looks steadily more and more uncertain, though Warrior-chick's earlier words are obviously helping her keep it together. Warrior-chick gets cautious, though, in addition to her earlier nervous tension, and keeps fiddling with her sword. Elf-chick looks antsy as well, and when Older guy comes back and comments on the she retorts that enclosed spaces make her uncomfortable.
Meanwhile, Scribe-guy is still trying to unlock the door, to no avail. He's soon huffing along after casting nearly every unlocking spell he knows. Hero gets increasingly peeved, finally cursing ('we got this far, damnit! and now a bloody _door_ is going to stop us?!) and punching the gate ... which, amazingly enough, falls over. Cue piku-piku moment, and Scribe looking up from his notes and saying something to the effect of 'or we _could_ try that'.
They enter. Focus on the fallen wing of the door (it's cracked into a few pieces), then zoom out of the cave, trailing along the dark corridor. The observant will have noted that the chains on the other wing of the door appear to have 'broken' as well ... curious, no?
Back to Party. They're in the chamber beyond the door. It's big. Octagonal, with elaborate seal diagrams etched into the floor and walls, which are all fancy marble.
At the opposite end from the door is a dais, from the floor of which an ornamental looking sword is sticking up.
Priestess gives a faint 'meep' and nearly collapses. Warrior-chick holds her up, slinging one of Priestess' arms around her shoulders. Priestess motions for them to go on, saying she's just feeling the journey catching up with her.
Hero takes a step forward, moving towards the sword, while Scribe-guy frowns at his notes and rapidly leafs through them. There's an odd sound from behind them, and Hero, Scribe-guy, Elf-chick, and Older turn when it turns into a gurgle.
Priestess just pulled Warrior-chick's sword and stuck it into the redhead's guts. She's also smiling a really freaky version of the usual Kasumi-like smile she's had going for most of the journey up-till then.
Warrior-chick slides to the ground, one hand grabbing at Priestess', ornamental headband of office-type-thingy ... revealing that Priestess has a moving and functioning reptilian eye set in the middle of her forehead.
Older snaps out of the moment of shock, and swings his axe, which Priestess parries, and Elf-chick kills Priestess with an arrow to the head.
Hero goes 'wha, wha, what?' and Older explains the Outsiders can summon these annoying little parasite critters that are capable of possessing people ...
Hero then goes and pulls a Captain Obvious in saying: 'That means they know where we are!'
Cue clapping sound.
Dominatrix is standing in the entrance to the chamber, smiling like the cat that ate the canary as she thanks them for leading her to the artifact: 'such as it is', she finishes, frowning at the sword.
Elf-chick sends an arrow away, which Dominatrix catches and snaps. Dog-Things leap out from the entrance to the chamber, followed by a few of the Enemy Soldiers wearing chitinous armor and armed with shield and axe.
Dog-Thing leaps past Older, slamming into Scribe-guy who was beginning to chant a spell, and hurling him across the room. He slams into the wall next to the dais, with a few really nasty sounding cracks and wet sounds, and falls to the ground, unconscious and bleeding.
Older guts the Dog-Thing with his axe, and shouts at Hero to get the sword. Elf-chick shoots arrow after arrow. The next few minutes are combat scenes, with Older and Elf-chick trying to keep the Dog-Things and Enemy Soldiers from stopping Hero from getting the Sword. A few make it past and Hero has to fight his way past them.
Older's luck runs out and one of his arms goes flying. It's all over for him after that. Elf-chick lasts a moment longer, and Hero fights his way past the two Dog-Things between him and the artifact. Elf-chick goes down when he puts the second one down, ironically enough.
Hero's Zweihnder goes flying when a Soldier nearly severs one of his arms, but that doesn't stop him, and he reaches the sword ... freeze-frame.
The chamber looks like a slaughterhouse, with bodies of Party-members and Enemy Soldiers and Dog-Things on the ground left and right. More Soldiers and Dog-Things are coming in. Hero is reaching for the artifact. Dominatrix hasn't moved or stopped smirking.
Unfreeze as Hero reaches the sword, pulls it free, and guts a Soldier with it. He takes another swing ... Dominatrix blinks across the chamber, twists his hand around when he swings, snaps the bones, and shoves the artifact through his guts.
'Such as it is,' she sneers at Hero, and gives him a kiss.
Hero's eyes go wide, before she reaches up with her free hand/claw, and snaps his neck. She pushes the corpse of Hero off the sword, licks some blood from the blade,
and sneers at the 'piece of worthless scrap-metal'.
She tosses the sword aside.
Meanwhile, the Dog-Things are ... umm ... _eating_. Blood is soaking pretty much the whole floor.
Perspective shift - a bleary perspective, to be sure. Scribe-guy's regained consciousness just in time to see Hero die, he sees the others bodies, then the sword clangs into the ground next to him.
He's just been unconscious, and doesn't quite get that Hero's already tried that. He grabs it anyway. There's a particularly sharp 'pling' note. The chamber walls and floor, the portions not covered in blood anyway, fade from marble to rough gray stone. The sigils go from ornamental to vaguely sinister looking. The artifact goes from fancy looking sword to a more-than-vaguely-ominous black bladed equivalent.
Dominatrix is getting uneasy because Scribe-guy's eyes are starting to glow, just like the carvings in the blood-splattered floor and walls, and something just threw a Dog-Thing against one wall with enough strength to splatter the beast, and the dead bodies of Party members and Enemy alike are starting to rise and tear the still living a new one be they demon or not, and Scribe-guy's standing when he shouldn't be because she's pretty sure she heard his spine snap and laughing like a bad Dark Schneider copy ...
Fade to Black.
Outro is a Funeral March played on a single piano, while credits run in front of a panel showing the black sword sticking out of the dais.

So, basically, yeah ... Scribe-guy and his buddies made a bigass error in their translation, and the so called Freedom is actually a Revenant Blade - a powerful necromantic focus that feeds on death, destruction, and the souls of the living.
The ritual to unlock it was one of sacrifice, not really demanding any special circumstance outside of being performed within the chamber it had been sealed in.
The sword is sentient. And hungry.
Now Scribe-guy's its new host/wielder.
Incidentally, did you notice that Scribe-guy and Hero have similar voices? Well, guess who the entrance monologues in the first episode really belonged to. Yup.
The rest of the series, after Scribe-guy snaps out of it in the third episode and does the usual angst&mope&feel guilty routine, would be the story of his self imposed atonement.
He knows the sword will grow stronger every time he kills, and he knows it'll grow harder and harder to control as well, but he needs to use it to fight off the Outsiders and their Demon allies because, well, he's the only one who _can_ - everything else has been tried (as far as he knows).
We follow him as he leads the undead hordes to battle against the Outsiders, is shunned by the people he defends, slowly turns less and less inclined to actually stop the sword from having its fill of carnage whenever it can ...
The whole thing is very much fit to be labeled Dark Fantasy, and I'd enjoy seeing a focus chara who actually _is_ guilty of causing the events he feels responsible for (unlike, say, Gatsu in Berserk) work his way through that mess.
Intro for the eps after two should have some sort of hard rock or metal for bgm ... incidentally, yes, this whole idea was basically inspired by Blue Oyster Cult's 'Black Blade'.
The series' end, if you could consider it such, would happen around ep24 or so, when the Outsiders have been routed and return to their own world, Scribe-guy is seen as the new tyrant aiming to conquer the world and faced with the inevitability of having to fight the people he'd tried to protect. Even though he'd conquered the sword's bloodlust (with the help of his loyal entourage of recruited minions ... errr, I meant loyal companions), it's not entirely gone.
So, the ending is basically him and his generals (token Dread Knight Guy - the guy who actually _found_ Freedom and instead of using it against the Outsiders tried to kill Scribe-guy with it around ep15 but ended up joining him - , the Femme Fatale Vampiress - who appointed herself his 'very personal' aide at around ep8 and has been trying to seduce him ever since, with varying degrees of success -, Dominatrix - who he'd bound to himself to get insight into the Outsiders' strategems, and who for some twisted reason ended up playing rival to Vampiress in trying to seduce the poor schmuck around ep10 -, Rival Necromancer Girl - scout who finds the chamber the sword had been in and gets some of the residual power as a result in ep18, tries to snatch the sword from him, and ends up playing barnacle on Dread Knight Guy from ep21 onwards) and the horde of minions, undead and otherwise, following the Outsiders through the dimensional portal.
Ending quote: 'And my adventure ... continues.'

And this morning I was going to continue with writing more for the final chapter of Incarna. I ended up novelizing the beginning of Revv's first episode, which I only noticed after I'd had my morning coffee.
Once again proving that I'm far too easily distracted.
Blue Oyster Cult has me writing about psychotic necromancers, Kansas makes me want to write a follow up for Bound and Determined, and Garbage turns me back towards Incarna. And I got a new Nightwish CD yesterday ... I am understandably hesitant about playing the damn thing.
-Griever
needs to learn how to multitask
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm

Valles · 08-15-2005, 04:29 PM

o.O
O.o
x.x
...Griever... -Ouch-.
Seriously ouch.
I'm shaking my head in a sort of horrified awe, here.
Anyway, if the entire series goes on to follow the pattern set by Ep. 2, then I probably wouldn't care for it - despite my love of subverting the stereotypes, I'm a devoted member of the Happy Ending school of plot resolution, and this... doesn't seem like a story where that'd fit. But I do think that it'd make a kickass series for those people who don't share my squeamishness.
*shakes head again* Wow.
Ja, -n
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"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

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