A lost little bunny finds a home...

[CattyNebulart]

since she figuratively weighed nothing,
literality not figurativly. (why oh why don't I have a spell checker?)
As for leaving the girl alone while on the bio-bed, or even turn around, the guy is an american right? No-one else would try that with a girl that young I think, supervision is needed and at 8 years old it isn't that unusual to see them naked at a beach or swimming pool. I doubt any doctor would have tried to leave her alone either.
And after all of that he sleeps with her (which sounds very wrong, even though it isn't in this case)
There have been a few centuries of cultural drift think about peoples reactions.
Didn't speak up before because people where giving better feedbac than me, but keep up the good work.

---
edit: this just occured to me.
if she is near the polar circle the sun is either shining or it's dark. day and night take very long to switch.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

[Sirrocco]

I've tapped into my obsessive self here. Be aware that I, at times, have problems with *over*editing. I'm pretty sure I haven't hit that point yet, but I also probably shouldn't be permitted to touch any further iterations of this scene after this one. We're at the nit-hunting stage. If any of what I'm saying here doesn't seem right to you, then by all means ignore it.
-- "She was a beautiful little girl who could be no more than eight years old,"
This may be local variation, but the line sounds a little odd to me. I've always heart this as "who couldn't have been more than..."
-- "...who knew how many days under a harsh, unforgiving sun and bone-chilling nights."
This is a *very* small nit, but sentences like this flow a bit better if the parallel is cleaner. Maybe something more like "days under a harsh, unforgiving sun and nights spent cold and exposed." It's the days [foo] and nights [foo] rather than days [foo] and [foo] nights.
-- "And yet, a troubled expression darkened that face."
This is awkward and strange. The sentence isn't really well constructed. (As a general rule you shouldn't start sentences with And. It's not an absolute rule, but if you can come up with some way to say it well otherwise, you should use that instead.) Also, it seems to imply that her troubled expression is somehow strange. She's been dying of exposure on an oil derrick for days. The world is covered in water and everyone she's ever known is dead. Yes, having her face healed is a good thing, but it should be pretty obvious that it's not the end of her troubles.

-- "It was more than I could take, even now, as I write this account. Tears stung my eyes as I felt my heart break for this poor little orphan."
This is a really cool line. That instant of bending the rules and stepping momentarily out of the second-order narrative into the first really works. the execution needs a bit of help, though. First, "could take, even now" is a tense disagreement. As far as I can tell, "than I could take -- than I can take, even now" fixes this one while staying as close as possible to what you meant, though I won't swear by the cadence. The second problem I don't actually *have* an answer for but you might want to look into - once you've set up this parallel moment of powerful emotion both in the narrator and the narrative, the reader is going to expect a result on both sides. You mention what happens in the deeper narrative, but leave us hanging with respect to the results in the present. Also, do Manticors *have* tear ducts?
---------
Actually, I'm going to stop here. I can feel myself going ever closer to that deep, dark Editor From Hell place, and very soon would be more harm than help. I will say that at this point any fixes that still need to go in are going to be at that level - minor revisions in writing technique more than anything else.
Good luck.

[Black Aeronaut]

---

since she figuratively weighed nothing,
literality not figurativly.

---

This is actually something that I gave a bit of thought about, but now I'm gonna have to go and check to see if my understanding of the definition of the word 'weight' is correct.
You see, the thing is, even though she 'weighs' nothing, she still has mass. It's like, say you were in a space station with no gravity and you threw a baseball at someone's head. The baseball may not 'weigh' anything, but it sure as hell's gonna smart when it hits the other guy in the head.
As for the character, yeah, he is American. He's actually me, which, IMHO, makes him not simply 'American' but Tejano-American. ^_^;;
Thing is, she has to be naked - tissue regeneration is basicly an unusual technology where anything that gets in the way, like a bandage or a peice of cloth, might accidently be made part of the healed skin. Not very pleasant.
The bio-bed is fully automated - very handy on these small ships where you might be the only person that can help yourself. Ergo, all she has to do is lay there while the medical computer takes care of the business it's been programmed to handle. It's pretty much fool proof (not to be confused with being proof against someone stupid enough to tamper with the computer).
So, I have scruples. At the very least, I would turn around and wait while business is taken care of.
Thanks, I will do my best to keep this up.
---
Well, Sirrocco, there will be times that I feel my work requires such deep criticism as to be thoroughly edited. If you'd like, you're more than welcome when I feel that I got something that's ready for 'post-production.' Beta readers and spell checkers are wonderful things... But a clear and concise editor is a precious gem. ^_^

---

This may be local variation, but the line sounds a little odd to me. I've always heart this as "who couldn't have been more than..."

---

Gah! I see what's wrong there! It should be past tense like you wrote it. Thanks!

---

This is a *very* small nit, but sentences like this flow a bit better if the parallel is cleaner. Maybe something more like "days under a harsh, unforgiving sun and nights spent cold and exposed." It's the days [foo] and nights [foo] rather than days [foo] and [foo] nights.

---

You're right. I'll go ahead and fix that.

---

This is awkward and strange. The sentence isn't really well constructed. Yes, having her face healed is a good thing, but it should be pretty obvious that it's not the end of her troubles.

---

I'll reveiw that, but given what you said, I think I might snip that bit altogether. At the very least I'll reword it.

---

This is a really cool line. That instant of bending the rules and stepping momentarily out of the second-order narrative into the first really works.

---

Thanks. It's an interesting thought: I am writing the memoirs of my alternate self as he looks back on a very interesting life. Best of all, he started out where I am now. (You may now crack MGS Time Paradox jokes.) Anywho, yeah... It does give opportunities for me to kinda step out and do stuff like that and I think I'll be doing it a little more often. Not so much that people get tired of seeing it. ^_^;;
Anyhow, it could be a bit better. Lemme tweak it and see what happens. As for Manticores having tear ducts...
MANTICORE ANTOMY 101
Today's Subject: The Head
The head of a Manticore is a remarkable work of biomechanics and bioengineering. Like the rest of a Manticore's endoskeleton, the skull is a monomolecular construct - hideously expensive to make, but the end result is very much worth the cost: a virtually indestructable framework that is more than capable of handling the day-to-day stress of combat with no maintenance whatsoever.
Another advantage is that the nanofacturing process allows for an infinite degree of flexibility in shape and form. Thus, when a subject undergoes the process of becoming a Manticore, their original skull is used as a template so that their physical appearance and voice patterns can be preserved.
The skull itself actually comes in several peices so that in the unlikely event of a brain hemorage, an emergency operation can be performed to save the soldier's life. This is the only and greatest vulnerability in the entire endoskelatal construct and the reason why all Manticores must where protective head gear in combat.
Once the subject's brain has been fully installed into it's new skull (usually the rest of the cyborg body is already assembled as well), it is emersed in a bio-regen tank where human flesh, based on the subjects own genetic fingerprint, is grown over the construct. While analogues to the eyes and the musculoskeletal system are already provided, this final step adds useful features such as the soldier's original face, sense of touch, sense of smell and taste (both heightened), as well as seemingly little things like tear glands and ducts and mucose membranes. Even the scalp, complete with hair folocles, is regrown.
This all culminates to an unprecidented level of biomimetics that is rivaled only by bioandroids recently found in alternate parallel plains. It is especially good for Project MANTICORE II subjects as it provides a link to their own humanity.
*END*
That informative enough? ^_^

---

Black Aeronaut Technologies Group, LLC
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News
of this kind a danish requires."

---

[The Hunterminator]

---

Folks, if you want to chime in just to say you like it or whatever, go ahead and do so. -Any- feedback is better than none and certainly helps me to know if I'm going in the right direction or not.

---

Ok. I like it a lot. The reason I don't give more constructive criticism is that I know absolutely nothing about either of the souces.

[Black Aeronaut]

Pretty much stayed up all night figuring this one out. Here we get to see what the Event Horizon looks like and how the Master Chief likes to scare little kids.

---

After breakfast, I spent a bit of time picking Amelias brain for some basic info. Mainly when she was born and how old she was. The computer would be able to figure her exact age with that information cross referenced with astrological data taken during my investigation. That, and a small blood sample, provided all the data needed to get her identification in order citizenship would be taken care of by my adopting her. I just hope that some bureaucratic do-gooder who thought they were doing the right thing didnt get in the way of things.
As I got the last bit of data transmitted, the computer warbled for my attention. Amelia, seated in the co-pilots seat as she had been yesterday, looked the question at me and I smiled.
Were here, I replied as I took manual control and brought the ship out of the Fujikawa-Shaw non-space. The empty whiteness that filled the cockpits klaster glass dissolved into darkness shot with millions of brightly shining lights.
Contrary to popular belief, space is anything but empty, and Amelias awe-filled reaction was a worthwhile thing. That reaction was about to get better as I began to bring us in closer to the Event Horizon. The computer suddenly chirped in an urgent manner, a sign that a high-priority hail was coming in and being automatically put through.
Attention Pegasus number three-three-zero-one, said the Stellar Traffic Control officer that had been delegated to us. This is Event Horizon Stel-Con. We have you on our scopes. Please identify and transmit security codes.
This is CPO Rhodes, Manticore zero-zero-zero, I replied in my cool, clipped, military tone. I am now transmitting security codes and request permission to land at Ft. Whitcomb Starport.
Affirmative, CPO. Your codes are received and verified. Permission for landing at Whitcomb is granted. Welcome home, sir.
Thank you Stel-Con. Rhodes out.
I noticed Amelia giving me a curious look. She was undoubtedly wondering what that was all about.
Official stuff, I said. Stuff to make sure that no one bad gets through our defenses by disguising themselves. We call it a Trojan Horse tactic. You may wanna keep your eyes on that big white speck out there. I felt a huge grin creep across my face at this. Its gonna get a lot bigger.
Her brow wrinkled at that, but she turned to look through the klaster windows. And indeed, as I had predicted, that one noticeable white speck became more than just noticeable. Soon, we were close enough to make out some of the gross details of the Event Horizon the split-arrowhead hull of the massive bow-section, the series of six miniature Halos, counter-rotating against each other, and the cluster of seven of the largest, most powerful, ion-thrusters ever made in the aft.
And Amelia had no idea just how big it was, even though a corona of smaller ships could be made out. Amelia simply had no solid reference for the scale here. Nonetheless, I heard her voice for the first time.
Wow, she breathed softly. I looked over at her and grinned. She just kept her eyes on the spectacle before her. Boy, was she in for a real shocker. I plotted a close pass with the Adamant and confirmed it with Stel-Con. And, God bless them, they Okayed it.
Amelia gasped as we swung in close to the massive behemoth that was the Adamant. We were just close enough to see the one airlock set next to the huge, black letters that spelled out her name.
Wha, said Amelia plaintively as the sense of scale began to sink in.
Uh-huh, I said, that grin plastered across my face. Big, isnt it?
Uh-huh, she replied weakly, nodding her head. With the pass complete, I made for the gap between Rings 3 and 4, following the nav-markers on the HUD provided by Stel-Con.
Wow, said Amelia again, this time more fervently, as the gap between the rings became larger and larger to dwarf the tiny craft we were in. She then began to look around as the two rings began to surround us, one spinning down, the other spinning up. They spun at what seemed like a snails pace. This was actually carefully calculated to provide one gees worth of centripetal gravity and a twenty-four hour day-night cycle. To either side of us was one of either rings massive bundles of tethers with their intervening control blocks as we slowly passed them, and then we could see the inner surface.
Each ring held a different landscape, carefully engineered to provide a stable self-sustaining biome. Ahead, we could see mountains, rivers, forests, and small deep blue seas with crystal clarity.
Wow! exclaimed Amelia. This time, it wasnt just astonishment, but an excited sort of happiness I detected in her voice. I chuckled and grinned at her.
So, what do you think of your new home?
Amelia turned to me with an absolutely ecstatic smile on her face and nodded her head vigorously. I still remember that look on her face; her eyes so bright with wonder and joy, her smile so big that it nearly broke her face in two Even then I knew that I would never forget look. I laughed softly as her enthusiasm warmed my heart and she turned her attention back to the view outside.
It did not take long for us to swoop in low to the surface of Ring 4, skimming over the water at sub-sonic speeds. I would have loved to scream over the artificial sea at mach five, but that would have been against regulations. Besides, this gave enough sense of speed. Once we got overland, though, I throttled back to a leisurely one hundred knots.
Ft. Whitcomb was not far inland and was surrounded by a forest consisting mostly of sycamores and other hardwood trees and the base, while neat and clean, was not sterile looking living with Covenant had taught us about aesthetics. Here, the seasons were just about to turn from summer to autumn and there was a slightly damp and chilly edge to the air, a left over from the cool early-autumn rains that had deluged the area recently. The sun, sub-nuclear lamps mounted high above at the Event Horizons axial spine, was about to set and cast a deep golden light against the cool emerald of the forests that were not more than a few thousand feet from where we touched down.
The ground crew weren't the only people to greet Amelia and myself when we came down the ramp. I immediately recognized John, still wearing his Mjolnir armor, fresh from a day of training new Spartans, and waiting next to a Warthog.
Master Chief! I called out as I ran up, Amelia quickly following, and stopping at attention to snap a salute.
He returned the Salute and said, As you were, Rhodes.
I relaxed and smiled. Done with work for the day, Master Chief?
He nodded. I was in the area when Cortana let me know that you were inbound. Thought Id give you a ride. And whos this with you?
Amelia had been fascinated by the Master Chiefs appearance. When she suddenly realized his attention was on her, though, she swiftly flitted behind my back. It was not lost on John that she did so by flying.
Interesting, he stated flatly. New meat for the Spartan Program, Rhodes?
I dont think so, Master Chief, smiling and shaking my head. I then went on in a more sober tone, Shes had a hard time, lately, and Im going to be adopting her. Isnt that right, Amelia? I asked, looking over my shoulder.
Amelia was peaking over said shoulder, and darted back into hiding when she saw that John was still looking at her intently. I fought off a laugh at that.
Master Chief, would you please take off your helmet? Youre scaring her. The Master Chief grunted and took off his helmet, reveling a handsomely craggy and chiseled face with brooding dark eyes and nearly non-existent brown hair.
There, said the Master Chief. Better now, Amelia?
Amelia peaked over my shoulder once more and nodded her head.
Good, I said. Master Chief, meet Amelia Zot. Amelia, meet Master Chief Petty Officer John Spartan-one-three-five. We all just call him Master Chief, though. Gingerly, Amelia drifted out from behind me and John watched with interest. When she came close enough, he offered her his armored right hand.
A pleasure to meet you, Miss Amelia Zot.
Amelia, brave soul that she was, hesitantly took the Master Chiefs hand and he gave a gentle, yet firm, shake.
Uh-wha! said Amelia as even that knocked her askew. John looked mildly embarrassed which got a laugh from me.
Oh, dont worry you two. Im pretty sure youll get used to each other. Why dont we get going? Akis got the address for my new residence.
New residence? asked the Master Chief and then looked at Amelia as he realized what that meant. Ah. Lets get going then.

---

Black Aeronaut Technologies Group, LLC
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News
of this kind a danish requires."

---

[The Hunterminator]

*Jumps up and down cheering for the new chapter/content/stuff*

[Black Aeronaut]

*Blinks* Me thinks I have a fanboy/girl. ^_^;;

---

Black Aeronaut Technologies Group, LLC
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News
of this kind a danish requires."

---

[Black Aeronaut]

Well, it's not much, but I did come up with this journal entry that Rhodes makes soon after settling into his new home with his new daughter...

---

Dear Journal,
Weve just now settled the last of the furniture here at 1003 1st Street. I must say that I was quite surprised to find that my new home was way the hell out here in Officer Country. I asked the Captain and she said it was a perk of being so affluent and a new parent to boot. One things for sure, I hope the Officers around here cozy up to me soon its starting to become a hassle saluting to every adult in this neighborhood. Although, it is kinda cute when all the kids start saluting me.
Speaking of kids, Amelias getting better. Shes been starting to open up a bit more, but she never says anything about what happened to her before I found her. Thats fine with me. I have no intention of forcing her to relive whatever took place. I only hope that she doesnt keep it bottled inside forever that just wouldnt be healthy.
It turns out that the good old Capn was on to something with that JAG. No sooner than the adoption papers started making their way through the bureaucratic machine did someone see my name on the papers and blew a whistle. Fortunately, the only leg they had to stand on was that I was a single male. With a bit of legal wrangling and just a tiny bit of pulling rank, seniority, and merit we were able to a compromise: regular visits from a caseworker.
Of course, one of the caseworkers immediate concerns was Amelias education. Oddly enough, I hadnt really thought about it. I supposed that I was too preoccupied with helping her through her grief. Fortune smiled upon me though I had been sent a caseworker that understood children like Amelia. We both agreed that being forced to socialize in the setting of a public school so soon would only make her worse, so for the time being Im going to be home-schooling her.
All is still not rainbows and butterflies, even though this place seems to be very therapeutic for Amelia. She still cannot bear to be alone at night and insists on sleeping in my bed with me. Of course, I could never deny her. For her, Id die if I had to.
I never knew that I had such a strong paternal instinct.
One other thing that I feel I need to note here. This house reminds me an awful lot of a house I lived in a long time ago when my life was boring. Coincidence? It makes me wonder.
-CPO Rhodes

---

After this point, I'm not sure where to go. There is what the Dragon said about her having a power that he wanted from her, but I'm still not sure what sort it ought to be. One thing I do know is that if I go that route, then it would manifest itself when some dumb kid picks a fight with her on her first day of public school.
Ideas, anyone?

---

Black Aeronaut Technologies Group, LLC
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News
of this kind a danish requires."

---

[Herr Bad Moon]

Just a quick thing.
"Dear Journal" might not be the best way to start, as it makes him sound morel like a twelve year old girl or Doug Funny then a warrant officer in a space navy. A simple date and location might be better suited.---------------
-Jon
Being the Mariner hitting coach is like being the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts.
-Poster on USSMariner.com
---
Jon
"And that must have caused my dad's brain to break in half, replaced by a purely mechanical engine of revenge!"

[Black Aeronaut]

Thanks Bad Moon. Got it fixed now... Along with another glaring error I just noticed. GAH.

---

Black Aeronaut Technologies Group, LLC
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News
of this kind a danish requires."

---

[The Hunterminator]

---

*Blinks* Me thinks I have a fanboy/girl. ^_^;;

---

Not a fanboy exactly. But Cybernetic super soldier raises odd floating girl just grabs something in me and yanks, and I'm now eagerly waiting to see what happens next.

[Acyl]

Likewise, really. This is good. The only way I can describe it is heartstring-stirring stuff, but that sounds terribly cliche.
On the other hand, 'cliche' simply means something that's overdone...or done a lot. And things get done a lot because they work.
This does.
*thumbs-up* o_o b
I'm watching this too.
-- Acyl

[Black Aeronaut]

Thanks for your support, folks. ^_^ I do appreciate it. Now, if only I can figure out what sort of ninja/gunman/general badass to have come barreling through the door...

---

Black Aeronaut Technologies Group, LLC
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News
of this kind a danish requires."

---

[The Hunterminator]

How about a Cyborg Ninja with Guns?

[CattyNebulart]

how about a (possibly interdimensional) version of Soldats, SEELE, the iluminati or what have you.
The girl has power.
The girl is not accounted for in their plans.
Unplanned powers are a threat to The Plan
So they hire some local talent(assasins) to neutralize the threat.
The for maximum confusion you can have the resitance to the conspiray try to kidnap the girl to keep her safe.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

[Black Aeronaut]

---

How about a Cyborg Ninja with Guns?

---

*Snickers*

---

how about a (possibly interdimensional) version of Soldats, SEELE, the iluminati or what have you.
The girl has power.
The girl is not accounted for in their plans.
Unplanned powers are a threat to The Plan
So they hire some local talent(assasins) to neutralize the threat.
The for maximum confusion you can have the resitance to the conspiray try to kidnap the girl to keep her safe.

---

Hmmm... Now that requires a hell of an overplot. It's actually something that I've been struggling with. The Trinity (the name that I have given to the three Over-Beings that seem to manifest themselves differently wherever they go, i.e.: Skuld, Belldandy, and Urd; Washu, Tsunami, Tokimi), wants Rhodes, and any that are close to him for that matter, for their own uses. Why, I have asked myself. It's certainly useful to have a 'Trouble Consultant'. BUt I figure there's gotta be a greater pupose behind it. I just can't figure out what.
Perhaps something a bit like what Diane Duane has done for her Young Wizards universe? Another Over-Being running amock just because it doesn't like the policies of the others? Or maybe something even more petty, like a grudge?
If so, then at that point I'd probably do as the folks at EPU did at the end of Twilight in their Undocumented Features univers: Set all the bad stuff loose. Bring on the Illuminati, and the SEELE and the Soldats and what have you. This Over-Being just wants to pervert everything the Trinity has done.
With that in mind, I don't know what sort of underground society would be lurking aboard the Event Horizon, simply because the whole thing is a military operation. Maybe if they went on vacation to some new world...
As for her power, I think I figured it out: Gravity Control. She can control what is quite possibly one of the most powerful natural forces in the universe. This would explain her flight ability and give her one hell of a handy weapon.
As for why that Dragon would want such a thing: What better way to reshape the surface of a planet by warping it's gravitational field?

---

Black Aeronaut Technologies Group, LLC
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News
of this kind a danish requires."

---

[CattyNebulart]

hmm, if you acctually need opposition that could worry the Trinity how about;
for millenea (or any other large factor of time) things have been sealed away instead of properly dealing with them. Demons, evel mind controling rune weapons, the dark kingdom, things more xenocidal than the Covenant. All of them where locked away behind the great seal.
Now that seal is weakening and the Trinity is trying to get a champion ready to stop them, but the more they aid and perpare him the faster the seal cracks. Now things are starting to slip through the cracks, and the trinity has it's hands full making sure things can only slip out near their champion.
This allows you to have a trully varied set of oponnets, and even spectacular battles as these things clash with each other.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

[Black Aeronaut]

Hmm... How about this - combine the two concepts.
At the end of the last great epoch, The Trinity sealed away a malificent Over-Being and all it's minions in their many forms and guises. After they were all sealed away, there was peace.
But, entropy affects all things, including seals. It matters not who makes them. So, over the last few hundred millinea or so, this seal has begun to weaken enough that It's influence is begining to leach out, causing things to go in the downward spiral they've been going in. The Covenant and The Flood are evidence of this.
(Though, until I see what happens in Halo 3, I don't know whether or not to make The Flood a direct agent of "It" yet.)
The Trinity knew this was getting to be a problem and have been busy making preparations for a new seal, but it they have only now discovered that the new one will not be ready in time.
As though some unfathomably higher power than they knew this, Rhodes was plopped right in their laps.
And so, Rhodes, along with anyone else close to him, are all 'under training' to handle this threat, even as it tries to tear down worlds they visit as it did to their home universe. Of course, they know nothing of this.
By the way, think "It" sounds ominous enough or should I try for a better name for this Over-Being?

---

Black Aeronaut Technologies Group, LLC
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News
of this kind a danish requires."

---

[CattyNebulart]

glad my brainstorm is usefull.
I'd name it in a similar style to lovecraft deities, something like Phentzqu or some other nonsense. make it approriaty menacing sounding.
veen reading to much lovecraft fiction lately.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

[Sirrocco]

As a thought: Rhodes has this "strange factor" thing going on. Figure that the Three found him (this highly competent guy, likely to be able to survive stuff) and used him as a partial plug for the seal. This makes things tend to leak through near him, which keeps his life nice and strange, and it means that even things that aren't leaking through the seal specifically might want to help and/or attack him, and gives a reason why helping him makes the seal break faster - it's one of those divine karma things - as he is divinely strengthened, the seal is divinely weakened, maintaining the balance. It also means that in general he has a tremendous weight on the fabrics of magic and fate and such, which tend to make odd things happen to him, as opposed to happening to anyone else.
To really tie Amelia in, she wound up getting caught in one of the by-blows of the weakening seal. In particular, her gravity control power actually belongs to someone else - it leaked through, he didn't. If she dies, it'll go free. It might return to the original owner, but those who have enough mystic fu and know enough about what's going on might be able to figure out how to attract to themselves instead.
That should give you enough antagonists, no? Given the continually decaying seal, it's got a built-in climax, too.
I would say, though, that normal Illuminati types would at least *try* the kidnap-and-exploit tactic for a while before falling back on kill-it-before-it-grows. Murder is so *wasteful*.
Also, normal salute requirements only apply when both people are in uniform. Rhodes would be spending most of his time out of uniform at this point

[Black Aeronaut]

I like that idea about him being tied into the seal. It certainly would provide plenty of antagonists... But I don't think we'll see demons popping up at random at this point in the story yet. Save that for later when things really get odd.
The Illuminate group though... I don't think that I ought to have the Trinity work closely with them. I've always imagined those three as being very subtle up to a point. That point being where they reveal themselves to their chosen soldier, saying something along the lines of, "Behold, valiant soul, your Masters." Anywho! Illuminati - probably led in a very subtle way by the Trinity, but they don't always pick up on the hints quite right so sometimes they have the wrong idea about what they should be doing - or, worse, you could have them being led by someone truly nasty. I'm thinking Akio Ohtori nasty.
Funny thought - within the Illuminati we could have "The Society of the Rose" as a sort of magical combat and defense branch of the group. That way you get to throw in the the whole gang from Ohtori Academy, including the evil bastard himself. The Branch's leader would have the Title of Prince and have a -huge- amount of magical ability to draw from since the knowledge of previous princes is passed down. A second-in-command would be The Pillar as he/she acts as a manna storage when the Prince needs the extra help as well as catching duties that a second-in-command normally gets.
Congratulations, you've dropped another bunny on my doorstep. ^_^
Does anyone know how much divergence there is between the Manga and the Anime for Utena? Which would make the better source? I only know what I've been able to glean from UF-Symphony of the Sword.
Amelia's power would indeed be an excellent attractant for someone with the motivations and the abilities of Akio Ohtori. Of course, when this all goes down it's gonna be revealed to Rhodes, who's gonna wanna have the rat bastard flayed, drawn, quartered, and dump into one of the Event Horizon's main thrusters.
Oh, thanks. So he wouldn't need to be saluting everyone in sight. ^_^;;; Except the kids - to adults, he's among living legends, so to kids...

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Black Aeronaut Technologies Group, LLC
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News
of this kind a danish requires."

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[Sirrocco]

First of all, "Pillar" is from Magic Knights Rayearth. The term for pure Utena would be "Rose Bride" - who is tied in some very strange and mystically potent ways to the Overarching Mystic Constructs of Ohtori Academy and...
Really, the thing to know is that Utena is a mindwarp on grand scale. The look may be BESM, but the feel is more a Changeling variant. At one point Utena defeats an enemy and he ceases to exist, in that retroactive, "no one can even recall that he ever was" sort of way - and it makes a fair amount of sense with respect to the show. The entire thing is submerged in symbolism and metaphor, to the point that you sometimes have to look back more than once to figure out how much of it was real.
To put it another way, Utena is one of those shows that you *really* need to watch for yourself before you can fanfic it well. If that is absolutely not an option, and you *must* write Utena fanfic, then at the very least read up fully on the wikis and read a lot of single-source fanfic by different authors. If your only understanding of it is through UF, then don't use it at all. Even without the infection from outside and huge warpings from author perspective, the UF version is fused inescapably with Rayearth, and twined heavily around a cosmology out of AMG. UF as a source will not serve to help you do anything but write UF fanfic, and no one wants that (particularly not the core UF writers.)

[Black Aeronaut]

Oi! I forgot that bit was referenced from Magic Knights! Thanks for the save.
I planned on finding a good fansub torrent anyways so , anyhow(if it's good enough I'll go out and buy it). From what I had gathered thus far I knew already that it was a mind warp rivaled only by Evangelion.

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The entire thing is submerged in symbolism and metaphor, to the point that you sometimes have to look back more than once to figure out how much of it was real.

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Souds like a good fit within the Illuminatti to me, eh?