Posts: 12,007
Threads: 174
Joined: Feb 2006
Reputation:
0
from 'Demon and Scion' chapter 4 (a Naruto/Scion RPG crossover)
Thanks to aid from the crossover charater, the Third Hokage survived his battle with Orachimaru at the end of the Chunin Exam and chased him off. Afterwards, he's talking to Jiraiya.
Quote:"I had to make it clear that promotion of someone to Chunin is not a popularity contest," the Professor stated as he shook his head. "My old teammates tried to tell me that I was being sentimental. You don't stand up to one of the Three Ninja and derail his plan by only being lucky. But I'm too old, Jiraiya. Orochimaru might have actually killed me this last time."
"Whoa! Whoa! Not it!" the big shinobi said as quickly as possibly, looking comically terrified.
I just loved Jiraiya's reaction. 8)
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
Posts: 2,199
Threads: 134
Joined: Jun 2005
Reputation:
2
I, at least, can't make these things up:
I recently discovered that there's a manga out there titled Barcode Geass: Hanbai no Lelouch, described as...
Quote:A 4-koma manga that re-imagines the anime's title character Lelouch Lamperouge as a part-time convenience store worker.
Dralm have mercy.
-----
Big Brother is watching you. And damn, you are so bloody BORING.
Posts: 24,923
Threads: 2,045
Joined: Feb 2005
Reputation:
12
Still catching up with Shadowjack watching Sailor Moon. At least I'm in the current thread now... at page 9 of 70. It's going to take a while to get where everybody else is at.
Anyway.
Two bits from earlier in the thread. First, "CSI: Tokyo"
![[Image: tumblr_m8bte7hno41qe8we7o1_500.jpg]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8bte7hno41qe8we7o1_500.jpg)
Second, their quest for a "welcome to the forum" image finally is at an end: On RPG.net, Shadowjack Wrote:We keep saying we need a "welcome!" graphic for new readers of the thread, and I finally came up with one. I thought to myself, "Teenage girls in the 1990s," and at once the answer seemed obvious.
![[Image: sm-macarena.gif]](http://i198.photobucket.com/albums/aa305/secondgryphon/Sketches/SailorMoon/sm-macarena.gif)
And now, what you came here to read: http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?640 ... st15760767]Shadowjack Watches Episode 119 - one of the more important episodes, so light on the funny. But that doesn't stop Shadowjack!
Quote:(Rei does not know this, as her divinatory practices follow Shinto tradition rather than Western Hermeticism, but Death in the cards only rarely signifies death. It does signify endings and transitions. A card of transformation, mystery, and loss.)
The woman raises the scythe, and leaps toward Rei.
(It can also signify death.)
Quote:Ami: "It's the waiting that gets to me. Sometimes, I wish the answer to all this would just walk up and—"
Usagi and Makoto: /grab Ami and cover her mouth.
• Suddenly!
Enter Chibi-Usa, armed with +2 puppy-dog eyes.
Usagi: "No!"
Quote:Minako: "He does have a spooky laugh."
Ami: "Which is obviously reason to suspect someone of crimes against humanity."
Minako: "Remember what's-her-name?"
Makoto: "Oh, yeah, the dragon chick. She had a creepy laugh."
Minako: "See? Quad errorat demonstratum."
Ami: "…"
Quote:Chibi-Usa: /hugs Usagi super-close. "Mommy, pweeeease?"
Usagi: "I haven't given birth to you, yet! Don't call me that!"
Quote:Makoto: "That was horrible."
Minako: "I know. The animation style kept shifting. Sorry, black humor, I'm fucking terrified right now."
Quote:Dark stars smash overhead like cannon balls. The Inner Senshi try to crawl under the concrete floor. Chibi-Usa is quaking in distress. Hotaru may be foaming at the mouth. Sailor Uranus waits.
Ami: "Aha. So this is how 'suppression fire' works."
Quote:Michiru: "She's Sailor Saturn, the Soldier of Ruin! Her awakening ends this world!"
Minako: "…Why do we even have that button?!"
Quote:Usagi: "But this is absolute madness, Uranus! Why did the Silver Millennium create such a person?!"
Haruka: "There were those of us who fought against it, but in the end we could not keep up with the expense of maintaining a credible deterrent. The Sailor Saturn project cost us just a small fraction of what we had been spending on defense in a single year."
Ami: "But the whole point of a Doomsday Sailor is lost, if you keep her a secret! VY DIDN'T HYU TELL ZE VORLD, EH?!"
Michiru: "It was to have been announced at the Grand Ball the following Monday. As you know, the Queen loved surprises…"
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
Posts: 7,163
Threads: 561
Joined: Apr 2003
Reputation:
5
I has some ROFL. Let me show you it:
http://www.yamara.com/yam...ndex.php?date=2005-05-23
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
ClassicDrogn Wrote:I has some ROFL. Let me show you it:
http://www.yamara.com/yam...ndex.php?date=2005-05-23 Owwww....that was so brilliant it hurt. My sides, that is. 
Brian Y.
Seed Chronicles
Posts: 24,923
Threads: 2,045
Joined: Feb 2005
Reputation:
12
Second Empire - the Imperials are in the rebel base, looking for the command center. http://www.cg-lair.co.uk/daleks/secemp552.htm]The Dalek on the spot has had the idea to call in a communications specialist...
![[Image: secemp552.jpg]](http://www.cg-lair.co.uk/daleks/secemp/secemp552.jpg)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
Posts: 749
Threads: 53
Joined: Dec 2004
Reputation:
0
From In Flight Chapter 34: "I decided right about then that I would never understand women, or alien creatures shaped exactly like women for that matter."
Redundant statement is redundant.
Posts: 427
Threads: 34
Joined: Apr 2007
Reputation:
0
From The Wizard and the Lonely Princess, Chapter 18
Quote:"Come off it Hermione. Snape would never try to kill me with
something so obvious as jixing my broom in the middle of a match with
him standing up and a wand in his hand." He then waves his hand as
Neville turns towards them panicking. "If he actually wanted to kill me,
he would likely use a poison in my food that would be undetectable and
likely have symptoms akin to food poisoning or an allergy so no one
would think about the possibility of poisoning." He then frowns
thoughtfully. "Perhaps something that would decay rapidly with warmth so
that the heat in my cooling corpse would destroy it."All of a
sudden him, Hermione, and Nightmare (as well as Luna) stiffen at a
familiar voice. "Indeed Potter." They slowly turn to see Snape looking
at them with a raised eyebrow. "I would never do something as obvious as
jinxing a broom in full view of people." He then looks at Hermione with
a small glare. "Ten Points from Gryffindor Granger for your
accusations." He then turns and takes a few steps before stopping. "And
five points to Gryffindor Potter for correctly theorizing a method by
which I would kill you."
Watching as the potions professor walks
out of view, Harry becomes thoughtful before looking at his friends.
"I'm confused as to whether I should be amused by what happened or
paranoid and worried that he agreed with me..." He then scratches his
chin as Hermione and Neville stare at him. "Of course, he's unlikely to
use that method now that he's admitted that it would be one way he could
kill me." He then frowns. "Unless of course he wants me to think that
so that I'll let down my guard and because no one would think that he
would use that method due to what just happened..."
-----
Will the transhumanist future have catgirls? Does Japan still exist? Well, there is your answer.
Posts: 24,923
Threads: 2,045
Joined: Feb 2005
Reputation:
12
Today's Sketched Comedy
(Go on, tell me with a straight face that something like that never happened in one of your games...)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
Posts: 2,603
Threads: 109
Joined: Oct 2002
Reputation:
2
robkelk Wrote:Today's Sketched Comedy
(Go on, tell me with a straight face that something like that never happened in one of your games...) Well, no, but given that a friend mentioned that he wanted to do a Hunter game, using WoD: Slasher and set in a summer camp, it does sound like it might. (Unfortunately, I'm moving, so I'll miss the game.)
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com
"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."
Posts: 427
Threads: 34
Joined: Apr 2007
Reputation:
0
From, To Fly Like a Moron (An Avengers-movie-verse/The Pumaman crossover)
Quote:The anomalous concentration of dark energy turns out to be the
appearance of a giant alien ship, piloted by a being who calls himself
Set. A quick peak at Wikipedia confirms that this is probably not a good
sign.
“Does this mean MacGuyver is going to show up, too?” Darcy
asks. Jane started shouting things about quarks and decay rates, so
Coulson magically produced a report from somewhere and reported himself
to a command center. Darcy and Vadinho also reported to the command
center, not that anyone had actually ordered them there, but following
Coulson and looking confident opened all sorts of doors when he didn’t
slam them shut on your foot.
SHIELD’s translation software kept
crashing whenever they tried to run Set’s hissing and spitting through
it, so they’re relying on Thor to negotiate in Allspeak, to SHIELD’s
general horror. Coulson seems pretty chill, though. Well, Coulson’s
always pretty chill, but in this case Darcy thinks it’s a combination of
a greater trust in Thor -- she wouldn’t nominate him as secretary of,
like, the UN, but the guy was raised to be a representative of
his government, even if a large part of their foreign affairs seemed to
be based on kicking ass -- and the simple knowledge that this shit looks
bad regardless of anything Thor says.
“You know our Cheyenne
Mountain files are above your clearances, Agent Lewis,” says Coulson.
“And Richard Dean Anderson regrettably did not appear in Stargate
the movie. I will, however, approve your request for a larger office
supplies budget if you feel that may contribute positively to our
nation’s security.”
“Does shooting rubber bands at Tony Stark count?”
“Yes,” says Coulson.
-----
Will the transhumanist future have catgirls? Does Japan still exist? Well, there is your answer.
Quote:Shepherd wrote:
Xander and ... the Missing Scenes (Buffy/Stargate)
I know it's an update but this deserves a mention in the ROFLOL thread! Funny! Do not drink while reading!
Posts: 2,354
Threads: 83
Joined: Jul 2005
Reputation:
0
K sai Wrote:I know it's an update but this deserves a mention in the ROFLOL thread! Funny! Do not drink while reading!
Yes, the star wars jokes flew fast and furious in that one.
-Terry
-----
"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
TF2: Spy
Posts: 24,923
Threads: 2,045
Joined: Feb 2005
Reputation:
12
Not fanfic, but definite ROFL. Copied from http://www.daz3d.com/forums/viewthread/ ... 55/#149538]here (which I just realized most folks won't be able to get at, because it's in a member-only forum).
On the DAZ3D forums, Skiriki Wrote:You should have seen me two weeks ago, tho.
I stormed to my regular lurkspot IRC room, with a good congregation of nerds, although not many were space-nerds; several of them work with experimental embedded technology, computers, etc, so they’re not fully clueless. Convo summarized, and I was actually in all-capitals mode (which is rare, and made people wonder what had gotten me THAT agitated).
Me: “GUYS GUYS OH MY GOD YOU WON’T BELIEVE IT!”
Everyone else: ???
Me: “THEY FOUND AN EXOPLANET FROM ALPHA CENTAURI. ALPHA. CENTAURI!”
Everyone else: ??? And?
Me: “ALPHA CENTAURI! GUYS! THE NEAREST STAR AFTER SUN! EARTH-SIZE PLANET TOO! ALPHA. CENTAURI! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!”
Everyone else: ??? And is it habitable?
Me: “Uh… no, kinda tide-locked and really hot… BUT GUYS! ALPHA CENTAURI! LESS THAN FIVE LIGHT YEARS AWAY! OMG!”
Everyone else: ??? And..?
Me: “Well if we really work it, put our minds, technology and money to it, it is actually within realm of feasibility to send an automated probe there, expect it to get there in 20 or 30 years, and then receive communication from it, with pictures of the place. And most of us could be alive to SEE them!”
One of the computer nerds: “...man, I don’t want to think of the lag when typing shell commands if I have to debug it.” --
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
Posts: 8,933
Threads: 386
Joined: May 2006
Reputation:
3
robkelk Wrote:On the DAZ3D forums, Skiriki Wrote:One of the computer nerds: “...man, I don’t want to think of the lag when typing shell commands if I have to debug it.” SNRK! That is hilarious imagery of the Far Side meets Dilbert variety.
“Your grandfather raised two children here?” Thorne Scratch sounded like all the people who didn’t know her grandfather well. He had an unfounded reputation for being insane. There was method to his madness: they’d been far from any prying eyes on Neville Island.
'Elfhome' by Wen Spencer
“So direct! You’ll never become a diplomat that way, Ivan.”
'Captain Vorpatril's Alliance by Lois Bujold
Posts: 2,634
Threads: 176
Joined: Apr 2008
Reputation:
3
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8295035/4/s ... al-science
A day in the life of a woman hired to babysit Tony Stark
Quote:
Getting into Fury's office hadn't been easy, and Darcy really and honestly expected to be thrown out on her ear once she explained her reason for being there.
The slightly mad glint in Fury's eye said otherwise.
"Ms. Lewis," he said, "I can honestly say it would be my pleasure."
It was three in the morning, and Tony had so far resisted all attempts by Darcy to cajole, threaten, or bully him to sleep. She had finally retreated to a corner of the lab, and was flipping idly through a two-month-old issue of Rolling Stone she had found on one of the tables.
"GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP," Nick Fury's voice boomed, echoing angrily through the lab.
Tony screamed. It was very satisfying. Darcy smiled without looking up from her magazine.
After a quick survey of the room proved that Fury had not, in fact, somehow come in without Tony realizing it (not outside of the realm of possibility), he turned an accusatory stare toward Darcy.
"You should know," she said serenely, "that it's on a fifteen second—."
"GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP."
"—loop."
"I don't know how you got JARVIS to agree to this," Tony muttered. "Mute! Mute!"
"GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP."
"Think lower tech, Tony," Darcy chided. "JARVIS never would have agreed to help me with this. However, the thing about never neatening up your lab is that it becomes difficult for you to—."
"GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP."
"—figure out where the person who does clean up after you hid the iPod speakers."
"I hope you realize," Tony said, "this means war."
"Looking forward to it," Darcy said. Her smile was the smile of a woman who knew that she had won this round, and that she had been suitably avenged for all thirty-seven of those moldy coffee cups. She watched as Tony fled the lab.
"GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP."
"Planning on it, Director Fury, sir," she murmured, before she tossed the magazine aside and followed Tony out.
"You're fired," Tony said experimentally the next morning.
"Ahahaha, that's cute," Darcy replied.
Tony sighed.
Today's XKCD. Just about all of it.
http://xkcd.com/1127/
I've had a bit to calm down, but I'm still laughing on the inside.
"The Democrats won a lot of seats in 1880 but no one seems really sure why."
I dunno how much of you have the deep history for some of what breaks me, but you should look at this.
Posts: 1,452
Threads: 58
Joined: Apr 2006
Reputation:
0
From Naruto Genkyouien, Chapter 11.
http://www.fanfiction.net...390/11/Naruto-Genkyouien
Quote:The temperature dropped dramatically as he moved closer to the
sliding door, and it seemed like the amount of light was also decreased
with every step he took. To any other person it would have been quite
unsettling. There was a strange, tremulous hum in the air. Shino could
feel a presence beyond the panel. It waited, impatiently. And he knew it
could feel him too.
Taking a deep breath, Shino opened the door.
OOOOOOOOH FOOOORTUUUUNAAAAA!
He closed the door. Why was he breathing so heavily? Why were his hands shaking?
Willing himself to remain calm, he opened the door again.
VEEEEEEEEEELUT LUUUUNAAAA!
He
closed the door again. He was sweating by this point. It was a cold
sweat further accentuated by the low temperature. Moisture gathered on
his shades.
"A-Anooooo…" A lovely voice reached him from the opposite side. "Shino-kun, can you open the door, please?"
Shino's knees trembled. However, this was something he had to face. There was no other way.
He opened the door.
SSSSSSSSSTATU VA-RI-A-BI-LIIIIIS!
"Hello, Hinata."
Fuck you Kiba, fuck you.
Hinata smiled, tilting her head for maximum adorableness.
"Umm…good evening, Shino-kun." Hinata saluted him with a polite bow. "Can I come in?"
"Can you stop that unnerving background music?"
Hinata blinked. Even when she blinked she looked cute. "What background music?"
Sem-per cres-cis.
Aut de-cres-cis.
Vi-ta de-tes-taaaaa-bi-liiiiiis…
Shino shuddered.
"Nothing. Please come in."
Nunc ob-du-rat…
Et tunc cu-rat…
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.
I've been writing a bit.
Posts: 2,238
Threads: 136
Joined: Dec 2008
Reputation:
0
From a post on TFF, in the midst of a conversation on the nature of death and faith: (Spelling and grammar corrected by me)
Quote:Very tangentially related. You know in cartoons, movies and comics when the villain is finally defeated, the heroes go off to celebrate and leave the rubble behind?
And then, after the credits, the camera shows the pile of rubble again and then an arm shooting out from underground?
Typically this is just a 'It's not over heroes!' thing that enables a sequel, but it's everywhere right? Super common.
I would totally love a movie where it's a LEG that sticks out.
It'd be like... "bwahahaha I'm Lex Luthor, and I'm upside down buried headfirst in ground, but that won't stop me!"
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber." --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.
Posts: 1,452
Threads: 58
Joined: Apr 2006
Reputation:
0
From Less Wrong's site, linked in one of the fic threads:
http://lesswrong.com/lw/pn/zombies_the_movie/
Quote:GENERAL FRED: Have the doctors made any progress on finding an epiphenomenal cure?
SCIENTIST: They've tried every placebo in the book. No dice. Everything they do has an effect.
GENERAL FRED: Have you brought in a homeopath?
SCIENTIST: I tried, sir! I couldn't find any!
GENERAL FRED: Excellent. And the Taoists?
SCIENTIST: They refuse to do anything!
GENERAL FRED: Then we may yet be saved.
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.
I've been writing a bit.
Posts: 2,238
Threads: 136
Joined: Dec 2008
Reputation:
0
This post:
Quote: Drek wrote:
Aw, screw it. They should just go for broke and make a totally gonzo Star Wars film.
Reverse Darth Vader -- a droid with Anakin's arm(s) and leg(s) grafted
on to it. Actually, four Reserve Darth Vaders, each with his own Anakin
limb and coloration. So there's Red Vader with an arm, Blue Vader with
the other arm. Green Vader with a leg, Yellow Vader with a leg. And
they all, at some point, combine to form a giant robot, with surprise
appearance from a cloned Original Vader to form the head and torso.
A hundred-thousand Tie Fighters fighting a hundred-thousand X-wings,
with thousands of capital ships trading heavy fire. We have the
technology to render a all these ships. Aside from a few key actors,
their behaviors could be determined by simulation. The actual battle
could be not just presented in film, but as a software that allows you
to view the canonical battle from any angle and stage lesser battles for
your own amusement. Unleash the power of Wookiepedia by allowing the
fan community to provide names and short back stories for each pilot.
Those giant asteroid space worms. A real fight of a colony of them vs
Star Destroyers. Expand the giant space monster lore to make them a
galactic civilization in their own right, with coordination and
biological bombs that infest the Star Destroyers.
We need more Death Stars, and they should fight. They aren't spheres --
there's a pyramid Death Star. A cube Death Star. An octahedron Death
Star. d20 Death Star... They absolutely should blow up some more
planets. Piss all over the EU by mentioning that Random Important World
to the EU was annihilated off screen. Show the dawning horror of the
last surviving Ewoks as they watch Endor's moon get pasted by super
lasers. Show random Gungans walking around all sad, with the probable
reason left to audience's imagination. Blow up Tatooine in the first
minute of the film, and make damn sure to show that Luke and most of his
Jedi Academy were on the planet at the time.
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber." --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.
Posts: 12,007
Threads: 174
Joined: Feb 2006
Reputation:
0
from RPG.net's Motivational Poster thread
http://forum.rpg.net/show...&p=16054003#post16054003
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
Posts: 24,923
Threads: 2,045
Joined: Feb 2005
Reputation:
12
Timote Wrote:from RPG.net's Motivational Poster thread
http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?556 ... st16054003 So, for those of us without RPG.net accounts, what's it say?
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
One of the things I enjoy about John Biles's Mai-Hime Future story is that his cast includes a Jack and a Bobby who are almost exactly the opposite of Jack and Bobby Kennedy. (Biles is a Catholic and probably a Democrat.) The only way for him to improve the joke would be a thin, teetotal Teddy.
Myself, I dislike Disney movies, particularly Pocahantas. At the time, John Smith (not the one in Mai-Hime or Haruhi), was a balding, red-bearded middle-aged soldier. IIRC, he'd seen service in North Africa against the Moors, but I'm pretty vague on that. Pocahantas was twelve. (There was no love story between the two. Pocahantas did later end up involved with another man when she was older, and I think I remember that it wasn't the happiest of situations.)
On the other hand, I quit Stars Wars with the novel of Movie III. As I started with the YJK and JJK books, I haven't liked what I've heard has happened in the EU since, so I'd welcome another reboot there.
The positive side is the possibility of Kingdom Hearts with Lightsabers.
At worst, from my perspective, they'll set lawyers on Star Wars fanfic. At best, I doubt Disney will be able to make it better than Lensman, Skylark, and most of the other things that 'Doc' Smith did.
|
