Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!

[aeroprime]

“Hey,” he says, pushing his sunglasses further up his nose. “Anyone seen my intern?”

The kids stare at him, completely unperturbed.

“Peter,” Tony says, in case any of them need clarification.

“He disappeared around the same time that Spiderman showed up to wrangle the acid bird,” MJ says, her tone completely level. “Imagine that.”

The other kids nod. Tony winces.

“You can all expect non-disclosure forms delivered to your doorstep by my very scary lawyers,” he says, internally cursing Peter six ways to Sunday. “If you even think about outing him—”

“You can relax,” Ned says—Tony vaguely recognizes him as Peter’s ‘guy in the chair,’ whatever that means. “They’ve known Peter’s secret for a while now. They won’t tell.”

That takes Tony by surprise. “Excuse me?”

“How stupid do you think we are?” the blond girl demands. “There was that whole thing in Washington—”

“—‘I’m not going to show up at the decathlon meet,’” Flash mimics in an annoyingly high voice. “Unrelated—prepare for the Washington Monument to split open like a watermelon, but don’t worry! A Queens-based vigilante, who just happens to have the exact same voice as I do, is gonna save you guys at the last moment.”

“Spiderman swings by to rescue us at least once a week,” the smiling kid continues, nodding. Tony’s pretty sure his name is Abe. He vaguely remembers the kid’s table from the Midtown science fair—he built a potato-powered microwave that’s “battery” doubled as both a snack and an electric toothbrush. It was pretty damn impressive, even to Tony.

“Peter got super jacked about halfway through our freshman year,” MJ continues, her expression sour. “And he talks about Spiderman all the time. He told Ned about stealing Captain America’s shield in gym class—loudly, might I add—”

“And every time Spiderman swings by to save Midtown from terrorists or bomb threats or acid spitting pigeons, he always pays special attention to MJ,” the blond girl says. “His AI never stops trying to get him to ask her out. So either Spiderman is the world’s biggest perv—”

“Or he’s Peter,” Abe finishes. “And the latter is far more likely.”

“Don’t tell him we know his secret,” the blond girl says quickly. “He takes so much pride in it, and it’s really cute watching him try to come up excuses for why he needs to skip practice.”

“His dog has died seven times,” MJ says.

“One time, he told me he was having kidney stones,” Flash says. “I asked him to prove it—you know, thinking he would send me forged medical papers or whatever—and the next day at school he came up to me, handed me two big-ass rocks, and said, ‘those were inside me.’”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/272420...8#workskin

The link to the story seems broken. That just me?

[Shepherd]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/272420...8#workskin

The link to the story seems broken. That just me?

I just clicked on it and it worked fine. If you're not sure if a link is bad, you can check the Down for Everyone or Just Me website: https://downforeveryoneorjustme.com/

[aeroprime]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/272420...8#workskin

The link to the story seems broken. That just me?

I just clicked on it and it worked fine. If you're not sure if a link is bad, you can check the Down for Everyone or Just Me website: https://downforeveryoneorjustme.com/

After some troubleshooting yeah the problem was me. It was an error involving cookies. Carry on.

[classicdrogn]

"Keep your words soft. They might be thrown back at you at any time."

I read that in something about a week ago, but now I can't remember what or where. It perfectly encapsulates a more general idea I try to stick by, though.

[classicdrogn]

"when you're the reason the enemy resorts to orbital bombardment and the reason why it fails yeah, you deserve a promotion"

- SB's oranoskyman on Jedi Knights Dallon and Hebert being made Masters after the big battle kicking off the Clone War in Ld1449's The Weaving Force, shortly after Ch66

[classicdrogn]

"It really isn't my fault that Yogi Bear and Donkey Kong have similar tastes in fashion."

-- SB's Requiem_Jeer, making more references than intended.

[classicdrogn]

"Watanabe Generico had failed to notice the fact that John Brown had been slowly sneaking up to him, a novice mistake to not be aware of any wild abolitionists while adventuring. Brown had simply done the Lord's work by caving his skull in with a large boulder."

His Soul is Marching On to Another World, or, The John Brown Issekai by CabbagePreacher (SB link)

[classicdrogn]

"If it can't be turned off, it's not a feature." - Heuer's Razor

from Darekun's sig on the SJG forums

[Dartz]

Sometimes, the ability to not turn it off is a futre, to stop cabbages for ufcking it uo.

[Shepherd]

An interesting bit of conversation from the most recent chapter of "Locked in Digital" (My Hero Academia; quirkless Izuku goes to UA after being trapped inside a digital world and forced to beat multiple survival games):

Jeanist had presented the intern with one of his custom ‘Jeanist Jackets’- knife resistant, with pads and linings that would stop a bullet from punching through- and tuned so that Jeanist himself could take command of the fabric and threads in an instant with his quirk- drawing the subject back or using the material for capturing downed villains. The back was even marked with the Agency’s logo and ‘Intern’, for easy identification and self promotion.

And the moment it had hit the table, Katsuki had scowled and decreed he wasn’t going to wear it.

Not- at least- as it was.

Jeanist had explained that it was standard- had gone over all of its features, and when he was done, Katsuki still refused.

Frustrated… Jeanist had asked why.

And then Bakugou talked.

“MY color scheme isn’t for nothing! I use GODDAMN EXPLOSIVES. Anyone who stands next to me, if I'm attacked? If they aren’t aware of it? I could cause a panic. I could hurt someone, SCARE, someone. This? This hides all of that- the sleeves are too long and limit mobility, the color scheme clashes, and all the protection matters for shit if it’s gonna throw off my ability to BREATH. My entire goddamn body sweats explosives- dilluted as fuck compared to my hands- but it’s still COMBUSTABLE. I know for a goddamn fact that your material is absorptive, not hydrophobic standard- which my current tank top is. I wear this for a week? Then it’s gonna explode the first time someone lights a cigarette next to it.”

Jeanist had been… stunned, and somewhat ashamed.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/172927.../139713691