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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
10-09-2023, 09:08 AM
(11-09-2022, 10:16 PM)Shepherd Wrote: Quote:“Hey,” he says, pushing his sunglasses further up his nose. “Anyone seen my intern?”
The kids stare at him, completely unperturbed.
“Peter,” Tony says, in case any of them need clarification.
“He disappeared around the same time that Spiderman showed up to wrangle the acid bird,” MJ says, her tone completely level. “Imagine that.”
The other kids nod. Tony winces.
“You can all expect non-disclosure forms delivered to your doorstep by my very scary lawyers,” he says, internally cursing Peter six ways to Sunday. “If you even think about outing him—”
“You can relax,” Ned says—Tony vaguely recognizes him as Peter’s ‘guy in the chair,’ whatever that means. “They’ve known Peter’s secret for a while now. They won’t tell.”
That takes Tony by surprise. “Excuse me?”
“How stupid do you think we are?” the blond girl demands. “There was that whole thing in Washington—”
“—‘I’m not going to show up at the decathlon meet,’” Flash mimics in an annoyingly high voice. “Unrelated—prepare for the Washington Monument to split open like a watermelon, but don’t worry! A Queens-based vigilante, who just happens to have the exact same voice as I do, is gonna save you guys at the last moment.”
“Spiderman swings by to rescue us at least once a week,” the smiling kid continues, nodding. Tony’s pretty sure his name is Abe. He vaguely remembers the kid’s table from the Midtown science fair—he built a potato-powered microwave that’s “battery” doubled as both a snack and an electric toothbrush. It was pretty damn impressive, even to Tony.
“Peter got super jacked about halfway through our freshman year,” MJ continues, her expression sour. “And he talks about Spiderman all the time. He told Ned about stealing Captain America’s shield in gym class—loudly, might I add—”
“And every time Spiderman swings by to save Midtown from terrorists or bomb threats or acid spitting pigeons, he always pays special attention to MJ,” the blond girl says. “His AI never stops trying to get him to ask her out. So either Spiderman is the world’s biggest perv—”
“Or he’s Peter,” Abe finishes. “And the latter is far more likely.”
“Don’t tell him we know his secret,” the blond girl says quickly. “He takes so much pride in it, and it’s really cute watching him try to come up excuses for why he needs to skip practice.”
“His dog has died seven times,” MJ says.
“One time, he told me he was having kidney stones,” Flash says. “I asked him to prove it—you know, thinking he would send me forged medical papers or whatever—and the next day at school he came up to me, handed me two big-ass rocks, and said, ‘those were inside me.’”
https://archiveofourown.org/works/272420...8#workskin
The link to the story seems broken. That just me?
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
10-09-2023, 10:13 AM
(10-09-2023, 09:08 AM)aeroprime Wrote: https://archiveofourown.org/works/272420...8#workskin
The link to the story seems broken. That just me?
I just clicked on it and it worked fine. If you're not sure if a link is bad, you can check the Down for Everyone or Just Me website: https://downforeveryoneorjustme.com/
“I really hope I’m behind this convoluted mess; at least that way I’ll be able to get revenge by doing this to myself. I won’t even have to feel bad because it’ll be all my fault.” - Harry Potter, The Master of Death by Ryuugi.
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
10-09-2023, 01:42 PM
(10-09-2023, 10:13 AM)Shepherd Wrote: (10-09-2023, 09:08 AM)aeroprime Wrote: https://archiveofourown.org/works/272420...8#workskin
The link to the story seems broken. That just me?
I just clicked on it and it worked fine. If you're not sure if a link is bad, you can check the Down for Everyone or Just Me website: https://downforeveryoneorjustme.com/ After some troubleshooting yeah the problem was me. It was an error involving cookies. Carry on.
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
11-19-2023, 04:31 AM
"Keep your words soft. They might be thrown back at you at any time."
I read that in something about a week ago, but now I can't remember what or where. It perfectly encapsulates a more general idea I try to stick by, though.
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
12-23-2023, 03:35 AM
"when you're the reason the enemy resorts to orbital bombardment and the reason why it fails yeah, you deserve a promotion"
- SB's oranoskyman on Jedi Knights Dallon and Hebert being made Masters after the big battle kicking off the Clone War in Ld1449's The Weaving Force, shortly after Ch66
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
01-10-2024, 12:41 PM
(This post was last modified: 01-10-2024, 12:43 PM by classicdrogn.)
"It really isn't my fault that Yogi Bear and Donkey Kong have similar tastes in fashion."
-- SB's Requiem_Jeer, making more references than intended.
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
01-14-2024, 02:54 AM
"Watanabe Generico had failed to notice the fact that John Brown had been slowly sneaking up to him, a novice mistake to not be aware of any wild abolitionists while adventuring. Brown had simply done the Lord's work by caving his skull in with a large boulder."
His Soul is Marching On to Another World, or, The John Brown Issekai by CabbagePreacher (SB link)
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
03-17-2024, 05:28 PM
"If it can't be turned off, it's not a feature." - Heuer's Razor
from Darekun's sig on the SJG forums
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
03-17-2024, 05:32 PM
Sometimes, the ability to not turn it off is a futre, to stop cabbages for ufcking it uo.
Oh sweet meteor of death
Fall upon us.
Deliver us in fire
To Peace everlasting.
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
04-10-2024, 06:10 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-10-2024, 06:11 PM by Shepherd.)
An interesting bit of conversation from the most recent chapter of "Locked in Digital" (My Hero Academia; quirkless Izuku goes to UA after being trapped inside a digital world and forced to beat multiple survival games):
Quote:Jeanist had presented the intern with one of his custom ‘Jeanist Jackets’- knife resistant, with pads and linings that would stop a bullet from punching through- and tuned so that Jeanist himself could take command of the fabric and threads in an instant with his quirk- drawing the subject back or using the material for capturing downed villains. The back was even marked with the Agency’s logo and ‘Intern’, for easy identification and self promotion.
And the moment it had hit the table, Katsuki had scowled and decreed he wasn’t going to wear it.
Not- at least- as it was.
Jeanist had explained that it was standard- had gone over all of its features, and when he was done, Katsuki still refused.
Frustrated… Jeanist had asked why.
And then Bakugou talked.
“MY color scheme isn’t for nothing! I use GODDAMN EXPLOSIVES. Anyone who stands next to me, if I'm attacked? If they aren’t aware of it? I could cause a panic. I could hurt someone, SCARE, someone. This? This hides all of that- the sleeves are too long and limit mobility, the color scheme clashes, and all the protection matters for shit if it’s gonna throw off my ability to BREATH. My entire goddamn body sweats explosives- dilluted as fuck compared to my hands- but it’s still COMBUSTABLE. I know for a goddamn fact that your material is absorptive, not hydrophobic standard- which my current tank top is. I wear this for a week? Then it’s gonna explode the first time someone lights a cigarette next to it.”
Jeanist had been… stunned, and somewhat ashamed.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/172927.../139713691
“I really hope I’m behind this convoluted mess; at least that way I’ll be able to get revenge by doing this to myself. I won’t even have to feel bad because it’ll be all my fault.” - Harry Potter, The Master of Death by Ryuugi.
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
05-04-2024, 06:08 PM
From Scaling Up: D&D 24
Quote:"Oh great," Assault snarked. "Humans with Powers are bad enough, now we've got kobolds with Powers, too? And a Tinker? What's the world coming to?"
At that point, a dragon roar sounded over the city from the west.
Miss Militia formed a spray bottle with her power and began spraying Assault. "Bad Assault! Bad!"
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
07-11-2024, 06:54 PM
Quote: I'd feel pretty damn bad if my parents sold me and then spent the money on Space-Tequila, but I'm not sure what I'd prefer them to spend it on, you know?
- quoted without sauce on QQ
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
07-26-2024, 03:31 PM
Just A Dude on SB Wrote:Law is Justice's abusive boyfriend. He says he loves her, but he just keeps cheating on her every time he sees a pretty political agenda walk by.
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
11-06-2024, 05:34 AM
On QQ,
curiousgopher Wrote: Drak480 Wrote:Good news everyone. Dragon Age Origins won't get a Mass Effect Legendary style remaster because there's hardly anyone left at Bioware who knows how to use their old engine.
Oh no. The consequences of their actions.
How could firing all the people who actually make the games have possibly resulted in this. It's like those people were important or something, but how could this be, they weren't even management.
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
01-09-2025, 05:09 PM
(This post was last modified: 01-09-2025, 05:09 PM by Shepherd.)
Quote:"What's the what?" Xander asked the British mage who was looking around nervously.
"What do you know about the fey?" John asked intently as the barking got closer.
"Treat them like retail workers," Xander replied.
"What?" John asked, confused.
"Avoid eye contact, never reveal your full name, accept nothing they offer you, never verbally agree or disagree with anything they say, never apologize because it's acknowledging a debt owed, never ever thank them, remember they are incapable of reading signs in human languages," Xander listed off.
Aegis (Buffy/DC).
https://www.tthfanfic.org/Story-34229-44...+Aegis.htm
“I really hope I’m behind this convoluted mess; at least that way I’ll be able to get revenge by doing this to myself. I won’t even have to feel bad because it’ll be all my fault.” - Harry Potter, The Master of Death by Ryuugi.
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
01-10-2025, 07:05 PM
As someone who's worked retail, Xander needs a kick in the dick. With spiked boots.
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
01-10-2025, 11:23 PM
I'm pretty sure that was supposed to mean "treat the fay like a jaded retail worker treats the public" mot "treat the fey like you're talking to a retail worker" as actually written... because being Super-Karen to the fey is an obvious-lose-lose times infinity plus one strategy , if nothing else, and directly counter to to basically all of dogbercarroll's Xander-insert character traits in general regardless of which story you're talking about.
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
01-10-2025, 11:44 PM
No, I'm pretty sure he really is saying to treat them like retail workers, and the logic is sound, if callous.
Don't make eye contact, because that is engaging with the retail worker, which encourages them to try to sell you stuff.
Don't give them your full name, because that is engaging with them, which encourages them to try to sell you stuff.
Don't accept anything they offer, because they'll use that acceptance to try selling you stuff.
Never agree or disagree with what they say, because that is engaging with them, which encourages them to try to sell you stuff.
Never apologize or thank them, because that is engaging with them, which encourages them to try to sell you stuff.
When dealing with a retail worker or telemarketer, you either ask a specific question in search of a specific answer, or you say "not interested" and walk away/hang up the phone, because the moment you start engaging them in conversation, it is their job to try selling you stuff.
“I really hope I’m behind this convoluted mess; at least that way I’ll be able to get revenge by doing this to myself. I won’t even have to feel bad because it’ll be all my fault.” - Harry Potter, The Master of Death by Ryuugi.
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
01-11-2025, 03:09 AM
The bit about not being able to read signs in any human language argues against, Shepard - only customers are stupid enough to ask "Where can I find the peanut butter?" wile standing under an aisle listing that says peanut butter is in that aisle, or "Can I still order off the breakfast menu?" while looking at a menu that says breakfast items are offered from 7-10 AM at half past twelve.
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
01-11-2025, 10:38 PM
(01-11-2025, 03:09 AM)classicdrogn Wrote: The bit about not being able to read signs in any human language argues against, Shepard - only customers are stupid enough to ask "Where can I find the peanut butter?" wile standing under an aisle listing that says peanut butter is in that aisle, or "Can I still order off the breakfast menu?" while looking at a menu that says breakfast items are offered from 7-10 AM at half past twelve.
Or, as I had to deal with just the other day, respond to a sales ad that clearly reads 'Limit 4' by bringing a full dozen of the item in question to the register and get pouty that they can't get them all at the sale price..
(I'll give them a pass on the ones that are 'Buy x, get y free, but you *must* buy x+y in the same transaction to get this price, otherwise you get <other price>', because they usually put the qualifier in little tiny print). Grocery worker, BTW. :-)
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
01-13-2025, 12:46 PM
Ok, lets put https://old.reddit.com/r/TalesFromRetail/ here and then go back to awesome quotes ?
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RE: Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
01-29-2025, 06:41 PM
Part of a post by Ryuugi in the thread for their Worm/Naruto fic.
Quote:I retain the right to use killing intent and such as set dressing and for dramatic effect, because I do think it's cool, but the fanon has really blown it up to be something it's not. It is, quite literally, a wuss-check. Didst thine mother raisith a bitch? If the answer be yea, be thou cast out of thine domicile, as ye are a harlot and belong verily to the cobblestones. But should the answer be nay, hear me and obey forthwith--put thine hands up and escort them to me posthaste.
https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/...-108578645
“I really hope I’m behind this convoluted mess; at least that way I’ll be able to get revenge by doing this to myself. I won’t even have to feel bad because it’ll be all my fault.” - Harry Potter, The Master of Death by Ryuugi.
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