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Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
Thread of Awesome: THIS! IS!! QUOTEFILE!!!
#1
What is this thread for?

This thread is for quotes that are just So. Damned. Cool. that you have to share them with all of us. Not necessarily funny -- that's what the ROFL threads are for -- but EPIC. CMOA level quotes. 

Let's see your Awse.
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.
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#2
For "Nobody Dies" fans, the author of "A Hero" (In which Dalek Sec gets dragged into the PMMM mess) has posted this little omake about one of the Daleks' personal boogeymen, the Dalek Inspector General:
Quote:
----------
I AM.
THRO-UGH THE WO-RD OF THE EM-PE-ROR SU-PRE-ME, I AM.
THRO-UGH THE WI-LL OF THE MA-STE-R RA-CE, I AM.
THRO-UGH THE FE-AR OF A-LL TH-AT LI-VES, I AM.
THRO-UGH TEN HUN-DRED THOU-SA-ND WOR-LDS CON-DEM-NED, I AM.
I AM A MO-NU-MENT TO DE-ATH. I AM A DES-TRO-YER OF WO-RLDS, AN EX-TER-MI-NA-TOR OF LES-SER BE-INGS, A BRI-NGER OF FI-RE AND A-SH.
I AM THE DA-LEK IN-QUI-SI-TOR GE-NE-RAL, YOUR NIGHTMARES MADE DA-LEK.
AND I
ST-ILL
FUN-CTI-ON!!
----------
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.
Reply
 
#3
Quote:"I want it all." Agatha pirouetted.

"This might be your only chance." Samantha sighed. "It might be mine. That Protected Planets Treaty will kill space travel. We'll lose the gate for sure, probably be limited to unmanned probes and satellite launches."

"What?" Agatha gasped. "You can't be serious. To come so close and lose it all?"

"It's what's best for Earth," Samantha replied. "I'll have to be thankful I even got this chance."

"No."

Uh-oh.

"Agatha," Samantha said, backing away, "you promised you would control that temper."

"Never more calm in my life." The odd harmonics in Agatha's voice sent shivers down Sam's spine. "No treaty will deny us this. We have to bow down to the wishes of these 'gods'? Hah! I'll show them what it means to cross a Child of Daedelus."

"That's the engineer who built the labyrinth," Samantha said. "And--yes, I know this myth. He escaped with his son Icarus, who died when the sun melted the wax of his wings."

"Does your world's myth tell of what came after?"

"That is where ours ends," Samantha said. "It's a typical myth about hubris and challenging the gods. Working with Daniel for a year is one hell of a refresher on mythology."

"In our myths, when Daedelus heard Zeus proclaim his son's death," Agatha continued, "because of pride, he swore vengeance. Daedelus constructed a vessel to dive beneath the waves to steal Poseidon's trident. He broke Prometheus' chain in exhange for the secrets of fire. Hephaestus himself taught him the ways of the forge to spite Aphrodite's infidelity.

"Then Daedelus stormed Olympus itself."
Agatha's smile could be measured in low decimals of Kelvin. "The gods fell before him or were driven to the darkest corners of the world. When Daedelus smashed in Zeus' head with a smith's hammer, Athena arose from her father's shattered brow. Daedelus claimed her as his own."

Agatha's wild cackle seemed to encompass everything around them.

"The ancient Greek Sparks called themselves the 'Children of Dadealus', and hubris was their birthright. Just LET THESE GODS TRY TO TELL ME WHAT I CAN OR CANNOT DO."

From http://forums.spacebattles.com/showpost ... count=1068]Sparkgate on the Spacebattles forum. Not sure which chapter it is, but that link goes to the one in question, http://forums.spacebattles.com/showthread.php?t=164834]this is the top of the thread.

- CD
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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#4
Quote:No idea had ever gone from so very good to so very bad in so very little time.

Going after Joker in the dentist’s chair.  It seemed like the most inspired hit ever.  There he’d be: helpless.  That’s how you get the dangerous guys.  When their guard’s down.  When they’re helpless.  Lying back, mouth open, he’d never see it coming.  It seemed like the best idea Sal and Rudy ever had—until the blood started spraying.  Sal didn’t even know where it was coming from at first. 

“PSYCH!” Joker laughed—and all of a sudden blood was spurting.  Rudy grabbed his neck and something really hard—which turned out to be Joker’s head—rammed itself into Sal’s forehead.  Then something else hard—which turned out to be a metal tray, came crashing down on the top of his head three or four times.

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?  What the hell were they thinking going after The Joker where there was a tray full of sharp pointy things sitting right next to him?!

“HAHAHAHAHA!  Made you look!” Joker cried. 

Sal tripped over the dentist’s body as he tried to ‘step back’ without realizing that ‘crawl away’ would have been more viable movement with a wild man swinging—OUCH!—some big fucking gray thing around at face-height.  The fall onto his back left him flailing like a turtle, but it gave him the first clear view of what was happening with Rudy.  His partner was holding his neck like he was trying to hold back the blood from a throat-puncture, but there wasn’t any blood coming from underneath his hand.  All the blood was coming out the back of his wrist, where two silver dental picks still protruded.  His hand still held his gun, which was hanging a little too loosely from his one finger and was pointing aimlessly at the back window—at least it had been until Joker leapt out of the chair and swung Rudy around to take his place there and it went off, blowing a hole in the filing cabinet.

“HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!  Now, what’s that expression?  ‘Is it safe?’”
From the most recent Cat-Tales installment. Poor, dumb bastards....
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."
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#5
"Sounds like the comment section? of religion related videos."

Comment for this video:
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#6
I was rereading a story in one of my archives not long ago, and came across this old favorite:
Quote:"How about a matinee?" I said, "Would you rather your explosions flavoured with Tom Cruise or Jackie Chan?"

She looked down at her book, then up at me, at her book again, and then back up at me. "Jackie Chan?" she said.

"Good choice." I nodded at the book. "Is that working? Are you reading my mind?"

"I think so. Do you think Tom Cruise is a scifi-addled git who couldn't act his way out of a paper bag?"

"Everyone thinks that, so you could still be faking it. On the chance that you're not, I hope that reading my mind is really difficult and causes you a massive headache because I don't like the idea at all."
-- Dudley Dursley and Hermione Granger plan a date, sort of, in Widdershins by Dido/Trickofthedark
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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#7
Hermione and Dudders? ... link?

- CD
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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#8
http://trickofthedark.livejournal.com/31959.html]Here is part one, and each one ends with a link to the next. Warning: written in 2004, so not compliant with DH or HBP, and kinda sorta not even with OotP... But then again, with Dudley and Hermione dating, a bit of an AU is to be expected.
ETA:  Oh, and I should note that it's lavishly illustrated.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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#9
Dido makes such lovely smut. Highly, highly highly recommended
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies
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#10
Ah, yes, I had forgotten about the NC-17 segment, although it is skippable. I should have mentioned it was NSFW.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
 
#11
Not complying with canon from books past #4 is in fact a selling point. I'll put it on my reading list.

- CD
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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#12
Quote:" (...) a girl needs a well-rounded education, and that should include how to raise a little hell now and then."
A rather alt Hermione, from http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7274734/7/Saying_No]Saying No ch7.

- CD
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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#13
"Gee! I must be the luckiest son of a bitch since the guy who invented bread!"
_____________
Veni, vidi, vici. [I came, I saw, I conquered
Quote from Julius Caesar
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#14
from Longest Night, Longest Day (a MLP fic suggested to me by Fox)

Quote:“I’m not into mares,” Trixie interrupted. 
“That’s not what you said a few nights ago…” Lyra observed. “Me, and BonBon, and Pinkie Pie…” 
“That was the bourbon. The bourbon is equal-opportunity. I’m not into mares.” 


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#15
This whole page from Girl Genius, which I am finally taking the time to read, accompanied with a soundtrack by The Clockwork Dolls, The Cog is Dead, The Men Who Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing, and Dr. Steel. Still looking for a heavy metal steampunk band, though - Dr. Steel edges a little too close to rap for my usual taste, but he just fits the aesthetic so well, and it's in genre to sometimes get a steam burn or nip a finger in the gears.

Seriously, look at this guy!



(also four rants of awesome)
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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#16
Quote: stared at him for a moment, readying his mace. “And what do your fellows think of all this? They should realize what we’re willing to do.”
“Fellows of the Chambers, what have you given to the Holly Throne?” recited Mote.
“Our manhoods, and all chance of descendents,” they replied.
“What are you willing to give in the future?” continued the Master of Chambers.
The eunuchs raised their blades. “All else.”
Mote nodded. “There then is your answer.”

Castle Terribel, Ch 33 (original fic, rather than fanfic, but awesome, and updating with some frequency.)
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#17
Quote:"Indeed you are, Sakura-chan." Miya said, her tone taking on that subtle dangerous quality that Homura knew all too well. "Perhaps you would do best to remain silent for now, lest you open your mouth and let things slip that others might have wanted to keep hidden." The landlady crinkled her eyes shut and smiled, and just as he feared the Hannya mask formed over her shoulder, radiating fear and malevolence.
However, somehow, Sakura merely smiled at this. "Miya-san, I do apologize, but you shouldn't use such a negative method of keeping order. Fear is an immoral motivator in my opinion."
Miya blinked in surprise at how ineffective her usual method seemed to be on this woman in front of her. Still, the 01 was not used to backing down, so instead of letting the technique go, she increased it. Black tendrils of darkness flowed from the mask, and the whispers of the dammed could be heard all around the room. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about." Miya said placidly.
"Believe that you do." Sakura returned, her own smile not wavering.
Miya frowned and increased the technique even more. More masks began to appear behind her, each its own grotesques visage promising horror and despair. They continued until they were an endless fractal pattern of non-Euclidian terror and insanity and oh dear god he can see the face of Yog-Sothoth-
Homura gave a start when he realized that the technique had ended. He found that he couldn't remember the past minute or so, but something told him that was for the best. The state of the others reinforced this idea, with Musubi and Tsukiumi clinging on to Rin, all three of their mouths open in horror. Kazehana had dropped the bottle of sake and was twitching slightly. Akistu had become so still that she was almost a statue.
But Sakura? She was still. Just. Smiling.
Miya looked at the white haired woman in confusion. "But… how..?"
Without the smile leaving her face, Sakura said, "When I was young I was violated in mind and body every day in order to break me. I have been subjected to such horrors that would drive men insane many times over. Then and only then, was I ready to have my being consumed by all the evils of man, and have my heart wrapped in a darkness so pure that no mere word can truly describe it's evil." She took a sip from her teacup. "I think your mask is cute."

A Soul of Fire, Chapter 17/20
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#18
Quote:"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." -- culled from the Ground Zero Games List
Quote:There's a dwarfish saying: 'All trees are felled at ground-level' -although this is said to be an excessively bowdlerized translation for a saw which more literally means, 'When his hands are higher than your head, his groin is level with your teeth." -Terry Pratchett
Quote:"But what an unfortunate side effect."  Akane pointed towards Shampoo. "They only breed with men dim enough to be taken in by their marriage law, and so each generation is dumber and meaner." - Henry J. Cobb's "Scarlet Spring" Chapter 6
Quote:"Abuse of power? Isn't that something weak people made up to try and keep those that are bigger and stronger than them from acting like they're bigger and stronger, therefore negating the whole purpose of being bigger and stronger?" - Captain D'Amour "TWPOS II: The Wrath of Monetkahn"
Quote:"If I let myself get hung up on only doing things that had any actual chance of success, I'd never do anything!" - Elan, Order of the Stick #478
Quote:"Anyone can be a winner if their definition of victory is flexible enough." - The DM of the Rings XXXV
Quote:"Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones." - Marcus Aurelius
Quote:“A shinobi’s heart must be both soft as silk and cold as steel all that the same time, Sakura-chan. You must have the strength of will to both kill people, and to save them." - Sky on Fire I, Chapter 8: Missteps
Quote:"The concept of [Superman] being a walking metaphor of the savior of man is further cemented by each and every action he takes. The only real difference between him and 'The Savior' is that Jesus never punched an alien at mach 20 while firing lasers from his eyes and turning back time. But I guess it's all in the adaptation, isn't it?" - Ars Poetica, Spacebattles, The Last Son of Tomorrow Part III thread, post #376
Quote:"Hello, Yozis. Look at your plan. Now back to me. Now back at your plan, now back to me. Sadly, you aren't me. But, if you stopped screaming impotently against your imprisonment and switched to the Reclamation, you could escape like you're me. Look down, back up, where are you? You're in a Conventicle with the Yozi Your Plans Could Be Made By. What's in your hand, back at me. I have it, it's the Exaltations of those guys who defeated you. Look again! The Solars are now Infernals! Anything is possible when you believe the Ebon Dragon and fall for his schemes. I'm on the Blessed Isle." - Spacebattles sig of Horus
Quote:“I really hope I’m behind this convoluted mess; at least that way I’ll be able to get revenge by doing this to myself. I won’t even have to feel bad because it’ll be all my fault.” - Harry Potter, The Master of Death by Ryuugi
----------------------------------------------------

"Anyone can be a winner if their definition of victory is flexible enough." - The DM of the Rings XXXV
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#19
Tell me please if this isn't epic enough.

"Okay, I've basically skipped over the theory entirely in order to teach you how to make things explode in the shortest amount of time possible." He admitted. "But in my defense, it worked." - Yuno Scrya, Graceful Degradation
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#20
It's this complicated involved thing involving shadow cabals, poorly-written amendments to the laws of physics, supernatural death tournaments, reincarnated ghost heroes, and whatnot.

- Lelouch Lamperouge, The War of Kings
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
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#21
On superhero/scifi tech, and "the world is not ready" arguments:
Aaric Wrote:Where would the world be if the Wright brother's decided to keep their invention as the amazing Flight Brothers to face the evil Doktor Lightning?

Not a place I'd want to live. Fuck you Reed Richards, Fuck You Tony Stark, Fuck you Hank Pym, Fuck You Lex Luthor, Fuck You- it just goes on, and on, and on... And on...

http://forums.spacebattles.com/goto/pos ... t-11931205

Edit to avoid double post (and to rejoice in not having potoato-mode text input limits any more)

Strategemini at SpaceBattles Wrote:At first I read this and I thought... No. And then I remembered Japan,
http://forums.spacebattles.com/goto/pos ... t-12208980
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
Reply
 
#22
Some random anon at 4chan Wrote:The Alcubierre Drive is a thought experiment designed to prove how impossible FTL really is, just like Schrodinger's Box is about proving how insane quantum mechanics is.

Humans being humans, we are now trying to use an impossible thought experiment as the basis of a technological development.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
Reply
 
#23
6thfloormadness Wrote:"The Collective has opened quite a lot of banks in America over the past decade and they have done quite well, care to comment on the success of that franchise?"

"That sounds like it would require a very mathematical answer, money and big numbers. Maybe it's because we're based out of Brunei or maybe its because the drones talk to each other so they don't make mistakes when making calculations. I don't really know, its too complicated. I don't even have an account with our bank, its easier to keep my money in the sofa for safe keeping," Thurgood answered with a shrug.

"You probably shouldn't do that Thurgood."

"Why not? It gains pretty good interest."

"What? How does that even work?"

"When people come over, they keep losing their change in my couch."
http://m.fanfiction.net/s/7434025/9/ A Technological Singularity - the first dozen chapters are about the Borg Collective evolving out of a mega-jackass's research project, then it gets offworld into Mass Effect's setting rather than Trek Space. Be warned that the Trekism where the military apparently runs off a copy of Zap Brannigan's Big Book of War with some pages missing is a thing, however, and the main character (not the one quoted here) makes movieverse Tony Stark look self-effacing.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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#24
Shirou is a Little Ticked At Fate:

Quote:I've decided that I shall slaughter the innocent. I shall murder all who stand in my way, sparing none, until my name is synonymous with fear itself, thus cementing my status as an Anti Hero. Then, once my reign of terror is finally ended, I shall wait patiently at the Throne of Heroes for however how long it takes until one of the infinite realities that exist that still performs the ritual of the Holy Grail War summons me forth. Then, I shall resume killing all around me until my bloodstained hands hold the Holy Grail itself. Once I have the all-powerful artifact, I shall use it to force the Root of the World, the wellspring of all creation, to assume a human male form in my presence. And then I'm going to kick it in the balls so hard that all of reality will simultaneously feel it.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6154638/1/ ... -of-Swords
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.
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#25
"Before leaving for school, my mother warned me about wandering off alone with strange, temporally entangled boys, Mr. Potter," she said, mock-seriousness in her voice, "Said I'd come back magically attuned to snakes. At least, I think she might have said that. I wasn't really paying attention."

Harry Potter and the Witch Queen has a fairly standard time-travel-from-a-dark-future start, but takes an abrupt turn for the awesome in Ch6, the above quote being from near the end of that, just after forming a familiar bond with a large, magical, black and silver adder, one which might have been rather more familiar to mulligan-Harry if they'd discovered all of Voldmerde's horcruxes in his first trip through.

I think it was already linked in the New Fic Recs thread at least, but here's another:

http://m.fanfiction.net/s/8823447
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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