They work the laborers tough on the hunting boats and the greenhorns doublely so.
recommend replacing tough with hard, doublely with doubly
I should mention that even though Leviathan hunting and Skimmer hunting for that matter has a lot if Cowboys and Characters, all aspects of the hunt are strictly controlled.
recommend have instead of has (verb agreement)
They say that the broken up remains of their ship were found on a ballistic cause to the nearest space station. Weather that's true or not; no one is in a particular hurry to test that particular myth.
suggest loosing the up as simple broken remains will work. course, not cause, whether not weather .
and was so simple to maintain, even I can do it.
is, not was (verb tense agreement)
As the Elexis was such a successful ship, it was running with the full compliment of crew.
he or she, not it. call it what you will, but sapients tend to view the craft that keeps them alive as a fellow sapient.
Then there was us two "greenhorns" where the butt of everyone's jokes
recommend something more like "Then there were we 'greenhorns', who were the butt of everyone's jokes." Also, you call the chief Cook the Quarter-Marshal later in this paragraph and Quarter Master a few paragraphs later. keep the title consistent; and if you decide to go with Quartermaster, it should be one word not two.
I haven't seen that many filtres since my days on Fortunes Favorite and it was five times the size.
use filter or filtres, make both uses match.
The two pilots worked also as navigators and split there shift so that there was always at least one of them at the helm, sometimes both of them.
Its unclear if the 'Finders' are also the pilots cum navigators. If they are, the apprentice finder, even if a greenhorn, is in a really bad spot as what happens if [susan] needs relief and her apprentice has been run into the ground? Also it should be split their, not split there
When the Skimmer season closed, when it was called, you had whatever was on your boat and in your traps to go hunting Leviathans.
Unwieldy. Recommend either "When Skimmer season closed" or "When Skimmer season was called"
Also, as the captain is the one in overall command and the one steering, it would be he, not the deckhands who would be keeping track of where and in what order the traps were laid. given what you describe is so similar to what is depicted on "Deadliest Catch", the deckhands would be up to their green horns in working the traps proper while the captain or Finder is at the helm. Ergo the pilot at the wheel would be responsible for marking the traps as they've got access to the ships navigation gear while the deckhands do not.
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children
recommend replacing tough with hard, doublely with doubly
I should mention that even though Leviathan hunting and Skimmer hunting for that matter has a lot if Cowboys and Characters, all aspects of the hunt are strictly controlled.
recommend have instead of has (verb agreement)
They say that the broken up remains of their ship were found on a ballistic cause to the nearest space station. Weather that's true or not; no one is in a particular hurry to test that particular myth.
suggest loosing the up as simple broken remains will work. course, not cause, whether not weather .
and was so simple to maintain, even I can do it.
is, not was (verb tense agreement)
As the Elexis was such a successful ship, it was running with the full compliment of crew.
he or she, not it. call it what you will, but sapients tend to view the craft that keeps them alive as a fellow sapient.
Then there was us two "greenhorns" where the butt of everyone's jokes
recommend something more like "Then there were we 'greenhorns', who were the butt of everyone's jokes." Also, you call the chief Cook the Quarter-Marshal later in this paragraph and Quarter Master a few paragraphs later. keep the title consistent; and if you decide to go with Quartermaster, it should be one word not two.
I haven't seen that many filtres since my days on Fortunes Favorite and it was five times the size.
use filter or filtres, make both uses match.
The two pilots worked also as navigators and split there shift so that there was always at least one of them at the helm, sometimes both of them.
Its unclear if the 'Finders' are also the pilots cum navigators. If they are, the apprentice finder, even if a greenhorn, is in a really bad spot as what happens if [susan] needs relief and her apprentice has been run into the ground? Also it should be split their, not split there
When the Skimmer season closed, when it was called, you had whatever was on your boat and in your traps to go hunting Leviathans.
Unwieldy. Recommend either "When Skimmer season closed" or "When Skimmer season was called"
Also, as the captain is the one in overall command and the one steering, it would be he, not the deckhands who would be keeping track of where and in what order the traps were laid. given what you describe is so similar to what is depicted on "Deadliest Catch", the deckhands would be up to their green horns in working the traps proper while the captain or Finder is at the helm. Ergo the pilot at the wheel would be responsible for marking the traps as they've got access to the ships navigation gear while the deckhands do not.
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children