Not fanfic, but too funny not to add....
The book is The Martian, by Andy Weir; apparently it came out electronically in 2011 and dead-tree just last year, and I hadn't even heard of it until I saw it on a bookstore shelf. It is a HARD-science Robinson Crusoe on Mars. The main character has an irreverent sense of humor, which doesn't desert him despite his having been accidentally marooned on -- well, some red planet or other, I forget the name....
When recording what NASA hoped would be inspirational messages for some of his fellow astronauts, he seizes the opportunity to tell one of them that she's a nerd and the next time he sees her he's going to give her a wedgie. But the crowner so far as I'm concerned comes when he curses at NASA bureaucrats upon learning that they haven't yet told his shipmates that he's alive after all. They ask him to watch his language, because:
Edit: On second thought, I want to add a couple more gems, from his log entries:
Big Brother is watching you. And damn, you are so bloody BORING.
The book is The Martian, by Andy Weir; apparently it came out electronically in 2011 and dead-tree just last year, and I hadn't even heard of it until I saw it on a bookstore shelf. It is a HARD-science Robinson Crusoe on Mars. The main character has an irreverent sense of humor, which doesn't desert him despite his having been accidentally marooned on -- well, some red planet or other, I forget the name....
When recording what NASA hoped would be inspirational messages for some of his fellow astronauts, he seizes the opportunity to tell one of them that she's a nerd and the next time he sees her he's going to give her a wedgie. But the crowner so far as I'm concerned comes when he curses at NASA bureaucrats upon learning that they haven't yet told his shipmates that he's alive after all. They ask him to watch his language, because:
Quote:[12:04] JPL: ...Everything you type is being broadcast live all over the world.
[12:15] WATNEY: Look! A pair of boobs! -> (.Y.)
Edit: On second thought, I want to add a couple more gems, from his log entries:
Quote:Log Entry: Sol 381
...
There's an international treaty saying no country can lay claim to anything that's not on Earth. And by another treaty, if you're not in any country's territory, maritime law applies.
So Mars is "international waters."
...
Here's the cool part: I will eventually go to Schiaparelli and commandeer the Ares 4 lander. Nobody explicitly gave me permission to do this, and they can't until I'm aboard Ares 4 and operating the comm system. After I board Ares 4, before talking to NASA, I will take control of a craft in international waters without permission.
That makes me a pirate!
A space pirate!
Quote:Log Entry: Sol 501-----
...
If I could have anything, it would be a radio to ask NASA the safe path down the Ramp. Well, if I could have anything, it would be for the green-skinned yet beautiful Queen of Mars to rescue me so she can learn more about this Earth thing called "lovemaking."
It's been a long time since I've seen a woman. Just sayin'.
Big Brother is watching you. And damn, you are so bloody BORING.