...okay, this, I like. Let's see...
-Technically competent. You're either a less sloppy writer than I am, or you've already had somebody polish it, because there are no linguistic problems in sight.-Your crossover idea works. With one exception, everything you've established so far fits both Worm and MSLN canon.-I don't see any OOCness- again, with that one exception.
-Presea. What's with that? At this point in MSLN, she should be either dead, or lost... so Season 1 must've happened very differently.-Again, Presea. How is she sane- or healthy, for that matter? Curing her dramatic ailment is one thing, but she was sort of a basket case in canon. I'd be tempted to assume that Alicia never got killed... but if that happened, you wouldn't have Fate, which would derail S2 and S3 significantly. More importantly, Presea would have no reason to go to Earth, so how would she and Nanoha have history? Best guess is that Alicia survived, she was in charge of the Jewel Seed retrieval, and the two of them... had disagreements.
-If the TSAB fixes Taylor, will she be Taylor, Skitter, or Khepri? The dimensional barrier might have something to say about her keeping those powers, but then you also have the issue of mental contamination to deal with. She may very well be copy-of-QA-who-thinks-she's-Taylor at that point, and isn't that an interesting can of worms?-So capes run off of magic to some degree. Explain why the Entities haven't just started using magic as an entropy-averting power source. Also, does this mean only mages can trigger? Or that non-mage capes are dependent on their passenger for power? The first would explain Eidolon- he doesn't have a power source of his own, and neither does his shard.
Huh. Lots of questions, a lot of positives, and no negatives. Looks like I'm all out of criticism. Good job!
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.
I've been writing a bit.
-Technically competent. You're either a less sloppy writer than I am, or you've already had somebody polish it, because there are no linguistic problems in sight.-Your crossover idea works. With one exception, everything you've established so far fits both Worm and MSLN canon.-I don't see any OOCness- again, with that one exception.
-Presea. What's with that? At this point in MSLN, she should be either dead, or lost... so Season 1 must've happened very differently.-Again, Presea. How is she sane- or healthy, for that matter? Curing her dramatic ailment is one thing, but she was sort of a basket case in canon. I'd be tempted to assume that Alicia never got killed... but if that happened, you wouldn't have Fate, which would derail S2 and S3 significantly. More importantly, Presea would have no reason to go to Earth, so how would she and Nanoha have history? Best guess is that Alicia survived, she was in charge of the Jewel Seed retrieval, and the two of them... had disagreements.
-If the TSAB fixes Taylor, will she be Taylor, Skitter, or Khepri? The dimensional barrier might have something to say about her keeping those powers, but then you also have the issue of mental contamination to deal with. She may very well be copy-of-QA-who-thinks-she's-Taylor at that point, and isn't that an interesting can of worms?-So capes run off of magic to some degree. Explain why the Entities haven't just started using magic as an entropy-averting power source. Also, does this mean only mages can trigger? Or that non-mage capes are dependent on their passenger for power? The first would explain Eidolon- he doesn't have a power source of his own, and neither does his shard.
Huh. Lots of questions, a lot of positives, and no negatives. Looks like I'm all out of criticism. Good job!
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.
I've been writing a bit.