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Some feelings I need to vent.....
Some feelings I need to vent.....
#1
Tonight, I was going down to the airport to pick up a friend for two weeks of sun and relaxation.
But, I'm not going to.
I'm not going to because instead of a vacation, this week my friend is burying her brother, who committed suicide Friday. He leaves behind a wife and two small children.
She is in a state of shock. She was close to her older brother, and she lost her father two years ago to an illness. No one saw this coming. While he was having problems with his wife, they didn't appear to be ones that were insurmountable. But he hung himself and now, two children are without their father, a wife is now a widow, and a sister and brother are without their big brother.
I feel helpless. I live two thousand miles away, too far to offer any physical support. I've already sent a sympathy card, and talked to her via IM last night. I only know her brother through her IMs, and he seemed like a nice guy.
I just wish I could do more, but here, I am little more then an observer. Going there is impossible, for several reasons. I know she's hurting, and I can't do more then offer a few words of support and comfort. I am also a little depressed for her, knowing that instead of joy this week, she's having to work though the worse someone can know -- the loss of a close family member.
So, why bother? I just needed to vent, to do it in public. There are so very few people I can call friend, and when one hurts, I hurt along with them. This girl has been through so much -- a traumatic experience during High school, her father passing away, and now the loss of her brother. And here I am, unable to do anything real. A card and a few typed words seem so pale, so little. I just needed to put my feelings down in some form. Life can be cruel sometimes, and a lot of times, we can only stand by and watch events unfold and wishing we could do something more.
Her brother is at peace now, but I think it will be a long time before my friend and her family are at peace. I just wish I could take some of that burden from her and place it upon myself. But I am left with only a prayer for his spirit, and a hope that my friend can overcome it.
Craig
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Re: Some feelings I need to vent.....
#2
I know the person and events of which you're speaking, Craig, and if I didn't learn of them at the same time you did, I learned of it not too long afterwards. And I haven't even sent a message of sympathy in email, because I simply don't know what to say. I don't deal well with death -- I guess that's one reason why there's never any doubt of an afterlife in DW, regardless of what Doug might think of the management -- and it's one of the few things in my life about which I cannot usually find the right words.
Still, you move me to think I ought to try. It's more "real" than doing nothing.

-- Bob
---------
The Internet Is For Norns.
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More info
#3
The obit for my friend's brother has been published on-line and in lieu of flowers, momorial funds are to be sent to an education fund set up for his children. As soon as I get that address, I will post all the details here, as my friend is a fanfic author some of you might know of. Members of Garage mailing list know who it is, but I want to have all the details in place before I post anything.
Craig
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Re: More info
#4
... oh, man. I'm sorry... geez.--
"I give you the beautiful... the talented... the tirelessly atomic-powered...
R!
DOROTHY!
WAYNERIGHT!

--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.
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re:re:more info
#5
Craig,
My sympathies on your friend's loss. As a guy who battles bouts of depression (and actually attempted suicide by sticking a rubber tube from the exhaust pipe into the car 16 years ago) and has lost relatives and loved ones over years, I know both sides of the street very well.
The reason why I attempted suicide on my part was because I was facing the immenent loss of everything I had worked for..worse I'm losing my dreams, goals and aspirations. Take that away from and what reason do I have to live? When I chickened out of it (CO gas gave me a severe headache, I wanted it quick and painless, not quick and painful *snicker*) and confessed to my sister of what I had done, she gave me such a tongue lashing!
She said I was being selfish...That if I did die, the ones left behind would had been tormented by guilt. The question "what if" would had been in their minds for their rest of their lives. I would had blighted everyone's memories.
I wish I could say words of comfort, there aren't any. Not for something like this. Gah!
I'll be sure to chip in something soon.
__________________
Into terror!,  Into valour!
Charge ahead! No! Never turn
Yes, it's into the fire we fly
And the devil will burn!
- Scarlett Pimpernell
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