I have had the two disc "Special Edition" DVD of Hellboy for a little over a year now. Love the movie. But hadn't gotten around to all the little extras on the DVD. Have been going through it in spare moments the last couple of days. A little bit of the documentary here, a little bit of the commentary there, that sort of thing.
(By the way - if you rent or buy the DVD, don't miss out on the two commentary tracks. Mike Mignolia and Guillermo del Toro on one track are mostly very informative about the processes and insights while still being very entertaining. These two obviously have a great deal of respect for each other and it shows. They also have terrific senses of humor! But they are utterly outdone by the 2nd commentary track which has Ron Perlman (Hellboy), Selma Blair (Liz Sherman) Rupert Evans and Jeffrey Tambor commenting on the movie. Ron Perlman is one WACKY dude! And the banter between him and the others just had me rolling in spots! There are some priceless moments in there. The only other commentary that has the same good natured fun was between Kurt Russell and John Carpenter on the Special Edition of Big Trouble in Little China.)
But I just discovered an easter egg, and what's in there utterly BROKE me! So much so that I have to share.
To truly appreciate these - understand that these are presented out of context, but are obviously referencing wacky moments in behind the scenes Hollywood movie making. They are quotes from the director del Toro, and he is an extremely "larger than life" character, both in size and in personality. Some of these I think are just a little additionally off-kilter because English is his second language. (Not that he's difficult to understand. His English is VERY good. But I think he's still thinking in Spanish for the most part.)
So I present -
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The Official "Overheard at the Monitor" Quotes from Guillermo del Toro...
"I have two words to say to you... one of them is 'you.'"
"Why do all the police cars drive like Miss Daisy?"
"I didn't know there was a tarot card called "monkey suckling a pink monkey."
"There's a saying in Mexico: A lot of farting for so little shit!"
"You come on the set like the ghost of Christmas Past and say, "Shoooot.... Shoooooot.... "
"Cut! Print! Check the gate! Remove his eyes!"
"Print it just in case Jimmy has to play Tiny Tim in a Christmas Carol."
"It was great, except we didn't see crap."
"Could you ask Craig to stop moving his head like he's coming out of the birth canal?"
"It tastes different because it's made of whale blubber and raccoon balls."
"I suggest you guys wear earrings next time if you're going to f*** us. Or at least take us to dinner first."
"I drink to forget."
"And your department is...?"
"He's so cute and tiny! Did you find him in a cornflakes box?"
"The penis is a very ugly organ. It looks like a depressed mole."
"I have farted twice and I'm not going to apologize."
"That thing is as artificial as a 20-inch dildo."
"My dream is that when I'm fabulously rich I'm going to buy an entire vat of ice cream and swim in it naked."
"Ruprecht - are you being played by a woman now? Not that it makes any difference."
"Can we slather her hand with bacon? Or a dead mouse?"
"Mark Jeffrey - preferably with a branding iron."
"It's like your wife and your mother and your grandmother and your mother-in-law all screaming at you at once. And they're drunk."
"I have directed children you know."
"If I say I like your pants I'm obviously lying. And yet I"m confusing you with a positive state of mind."
"Just remember Biddy: You are a butch Nazi she-wolf!"
"Jarda, stop pretending to be Czech. Your visa situation has been fixed."
"Thank God Monty's not the head of the space program."
"Patrick, is it true you command the creatures of the night?"
"When I commit murder and go to be hanged, I want our special effects department to be the ones to do it."
"Have you been smoking the short ends again?"
"Print it just because we're desperate."
"Why don't you pretend like you're falling, and we'll pretend like we put a pad down to catch you."
"I should have pursued my career in dance."
"Rupert, get closer and wiggle your pasty little twinkly English fingers."
"Please don't give any sharp objects to Kapitan."
"Step out and we will put a sack of fertilizer there in your place."
"Tie back his testicles so we can shoot!"
-Logan
-----------------
"Wake up! Time for SCIENCE!"
-Adam Savage
-----------------
(By the way - if you rent or buy the DVD, don't miss out on the two commentary tracks. Mike Mignolia and Guillermo del Toro on one track are mostly very informative about the processes and insights while still being very entertaining. These two obviously have a great deal of respect for each other and it shows. They also have terrific senses of humor! But they are utterly outdone by the 2nd commentary track which has Ron Perlman (Hellboy), Selma Blair (Liz Sherman) Rupert Evans and Jeffrey Tambor commenting on the movie. Ron Perlman is one WACKY dude! And the banter between him and the others just had me rolling in spots! There are some priceless moments in there. The only other commentary that has the same good natured fun was between Kurt Russell and John Carpenter on the Special Edition of Big Trouble in Little China.)
But I just discovered an easter egg, and what's in there utterly BROKE me! So much so that I have to share.
To truly appreciate these - understand that these are presented out of context, but are obviously referencing wacky moments in behind the scenes Hollywood movie making. They are quotes from the director del Toro, and he is an extremely "larger than life" character, both in size and in personality. Some of these I think are just a little additionally off-kilter because English is his second language. (Not that he's difficult to understand. His English is VERY good. But I think he's still thinking in Spanish for the most part.)
So I present -
===============
The Official "Overheard at the Monitor" Quotes from Guillermo del Toro...
"I have two words to say to you... one of them is 'you.'"
"Why do all the police cars drive like Miss Daisy?"
"I didn't know there was a tarot card called "monkey suckling a pink monkey."
"There's a saying in Mexico: A lot of farting for so little shit!"
"You come on the set like the ghost of Christmas Past and say, "Shoooot.... Shoooooot.... "
"Cut! Print! Check the gate! Remove his eyes!"
"Print it just in case Jimmy has to play Tiny Tim in a Christmas Carol."
"It was great, except we didn't see crap."
"Could you ask Craig to stop moving his head like he's coming out of the birth canal?"
"It tastes different because it's made of whale blubber and raccoon balls."
"I suggest you guys wear earrings next time if you're going to f*** us. Or at least take us to dinner first."
"I drink to forget."
"And your department is...?"
"He's so cute and tiny! Did you find him in a cornflakes box?"
"The penis is a very ugly organ. It looks like a depressed mole."
"I have farted twice and I'm not going to apologize."
"That thing is as artificial as a 20-inch dildo."
"My dream is that when I'm fabulously rich I'm going to buy an entire vat of ice cream and swim in it naked."
"Ruprecht - are you being played by a woman now? Not that it makes any difference."
"Can we slather her hand with bacon? Or a dead mouse?"
"Mark Jeffrey - preferably with a branding iron."
"It's like your wife and your mother and your grandmother and your mother-in-law all screaming at you at once. And they're drunk."
"I have directed children you know."
"If I say I like your pants I'm obviously lying. And yet I"m confusing you with a positive state of mind."
"Just remember Biddy: You are a butch Nazi she-wolf!"
"Jarda, stop pretending to be Czech. Your visa situation has been fixed."
"Thank God Monty's not the head of the space program."
"Patrick, is it true you command the creatures of the night?"
"When I commit murder and go to be hanged, I want our special effects department to be the ones to do it."
"Have you been smoking the short ends again?"
"Print it just because we're desperate."
"Why don't you pretend like you're falling, and we'll pretend like we put a pad down to catch you."
"I should have pursued my career in dance."
"Rupert, get closer and wiggle your pasty little twinkly English fingers."
"Please don't give any sharp objects to Kapitan."
"Step out and we will put a sack of fertilizer there in your place."
"Tie back his testicles so we can shoot!"
-Logan
-----------------
"Wake up! Time for SCIENCE!"
-Adam Savage
-----------------
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