It is always quite foolhardy for a young and ill-trained party
To gather at a tavern and to say
"We have had it with our teachers.
Let's go off and kill some creatures,
And find a ton of gold to haul away."
And that is called bashing the balrog.
And the people who long to attack
Think, once they have bashed on the balrog,
The balrog will not bash them back.
It is equally foolhardy for that armed and eager party
To win one lucky battle and feel sure,
"We have polished off a goblin,
But he left our fighter hobblin'.
Perhaps this magic potion is the cure."
And that can make bashing the balrog
Too much for the cleric and elf,
Who find, when they're facing the balrog,
That their fighter is not quite himself.
It is even more foolhardy for the changed and weakened party
To stare back at the balrog and to say
"We can zap and we can bite you.
We are quite prepared to fight you.
We suggest you turn around and fly away."
And that's called insulting the balrog,
For balrogs aren't easy to bluff.
They know, with a competent balrog,
No army is half strong enough.
And it's just a bit too tardy when a member of the party
Succeeds at his IQ roll and exclaims
"Try a Light spell or Entangle
While I get a better angle,
For I think I know a way to douse his flames."
And that is called fleeing the balrog,
And those who are wiser agree:
While comrades are bashing the balrog,
It's safest to go climb a tree.
It is almost as foolhardy for the others in the party
To bravely join the fray with spell and sword.
It has no chance of destroying.
At the worst you'll be annoying,
And at best you'll keep the foe from being bored.
And that is called bashing the balrog.
But should any witness survive,
He'll see, once you've bashed on the balrog,
The balrog will skin you alive.
So no matter just how hardy be the fools within your party,
And no matter just how lucrative your aim,
If it ever is suggested
You can get by unmolested,
You should rise and pound the table and exclaim,
"We never can win against balrogs,
However the dice might be tossed.
For the rules of this game are obscure and arcane,
And the party that plays it is lost, lost, lost!
The party that plays it is lost!"
-- Leslie Fish, Bashing The Balrog
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

...the following scenelet from a possible Read or Die Step came to me, and I just had to share it.
----------
Yomiko snapped up her hand, and a half-dozen small sheets of paper materialized in her grip, stiff as steel and razor-sharp. Back-to-back with her, Doug made almost the same gesture; spikes of a milky, translucent material popped out between the fingers of his right hand. He glanced over at Yomiko and shared a sly grin with her, then looked back at the foe."You got a choice, buddy," he said in a low, dangerous tone. "You want paper..." He gestured at Yomiko, then brandished the sharp slivers in his own hand. "...Or plastic?"Yomiko spared a portion of her concentration to roll her eyes athim.----------
No, I don't have a particular song in mind. Yet.-- Bob
---------
The one-L Hel has a face.
The two-L Hell, it's a place.
But I will bet a silver bell
There isn't any three-L Helll.
-- with apologies to Ogden Nash
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

As noted in the Website area, I've taken the DW FAQ out of beta and made it live. There's now a button and a text link on the DW Main Page that'll take you to it. For anyone who might have bookmarked it already, the direct URL for the page hasn't changed.-- Bob
---------
The one-L Hel has a face.
The two-L Hell, it's a place.
But I will bet a silver bell
There isn't any three-L Helll.
-- with apologies to Ogden Nash
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

This Step has been falling together nicely, even though I haven't actually set out to work on it at any given point. But I now know just about how things will flow through the entire plot, and I've got answers for a lot of the problems and objections Xenoproctologist posted here two years ago.
Anyway, to celebrate my burst of optimism over the story, here's just a little tiny moment from late in the plot.
-- Bob

This will also be going into the DW FAQ, which is in beta right now (see post in DW General).

Oh! My Brother!, and thus Drunkard's Walk V, are in an alternate universe from canon Oh! My Goddess. It is a wildly divergent timeline (wild divergence #1 being our favorite apotheosized Canadian). If there is a canon conflict between Oh! My Brother! and Oh! My Goddess, Oh! My Brother! wins, because that's the storyline Doug's visiting.

If you need to identify when the story takes place relative to events in the canon timeline, Drunkard's Walk V is placed sometime before the canon's "Lord of Terror" arc. Besides that being Chris's designated point in time for OMB, it also happens to coincide nicely to the extent of Bob's exposure to the manga.

As for characters from beyond that point, well, it might be nice if they appear, but first both Chris and I have to a) know about them, b) know them well enough to write them, and c) have a story reason for using them (or get a big enough kick from a cameo). Furthermore, Chris is final arbiter on who gets to live in his universe, and if he doesn't like, say, Hasegawa, well, Tokyo City Records will suddenly be missing a birth certificate...

Is that clear, everyone?

-- Bob
---------
Single Stage To Orbit: Rockets like God and Heinlein intended them!

Actually, this has been on the website since last week, but no one but AngryOptimist seems to have read my previous announcement. So here's a bit more blatant one. As I said before, not everything's in here yet; I'm still working on some questions offline. But almost everything I was asked for the FAQ, and a few things no one asked, are in here.
www.eclipse.net/~rms/dw-faq.html-- Bob
---------
Single Stage To Orbit: Rockets like God and Heinlein intended them!
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

Since Bob is trying to go against the SI cliches for Doug, let us list the ones for Evangelion SI's.
Right off the bat, Doug is going to break one of them. The three SI fics that I know of have the SI be reborn into the world somehow(I was a Teenage Dummyplug, a fic where the person is constantly reborn with his memories intact(this time Shinji), a fic where the SI spirit inhabited Unit-01)
--------------------
Tom Mathews aka Disruptor

I have put a prototype Drunkard's Walk FAQ page up on my website. It has most but not all of the questions I received from my solicitations several months ago; I'm still working on those. This file isn't yet ready for prime-time, and isn't linked to by any other pages on my site. But I'd like it if people took a look at it and gave me their thoughts -- and any new questions they might have.
www.eclipse.net/~rms/dw-faq.html
Thanks!
-- Bob
---------
Single Stage To Orbit: Rockets like God and Heinlein intended them!
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

As usual, the denizens of the discussion forums get about a 9-hour lead on the FFML.
www.eclipse.net/~rms/dw5.html
From that page you will find the prologue and chapter 1, plus the DW5 Concordance.
Enjoy, and feel free to chat amongst yourselves afterwards. -- Bob
---------
Single Stage To Orbit: Rockets like God and Heinlein intended them!
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

Quote:

---

Look forward to more of the Oh! My Brother! crew in Oh! My Brother II/Drunkark's Walk V: Another Divine Mess You've Gotten Me Into.

---