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Addventure attempts
Re: Addventure attempts
#6
Quote:
He was charing her again
I think you mean charging.
Quote:
about 8 or 9 in a red dress wielding a war hammer made entirely out of metal
About 8 or 9 what? Also why is it important to note that the warhammer is made out of only metal? And I thought warhammer was one word?
Quote:
Cyric didn't quite know what to make of this new goddess, she had seemed helpless but when he charged her the most complex magic circle he had ever seen just appeared under her, it's pattern shifting too fast for him to make out the symbols on it.
I think this is a run on sentence. Actually all of the sentences after that line are in my opinion, and a good bit of the sentences before that one are also run on sentences actually. You seem to have a lot of them.Those who fear the darkness have never seen what the light can do.
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Messages In This Thread
Addventure attempts - by CattyNebulart - 11-20-2006, 10:32 AM
Re: Addventure attempts - by happerry - 11-20-2006, 06:03 PM
Re: Addventure attempts - by CattyNebulart - 11-21-2006, 07:40 AM
Re: Addventure attempts - by Jenova Silverstar - 11-21-2006, 08:22 AM
Re: Addventure attempts - by CattyNebulart - 11-21-2006, 04:08 PM
Re: Addventure attempts - by happerry - 11-21-2006, 10:38 PM
Re: Addventure attempts - by CattyNebulart - 11-22-2006, 05:51 AM
Re: Addventure attempts - by happerry - 11-22-2006, 07:29 AM
Re: Addventure attempts - by CattyNebulart - 11-22-2006, 09:04 AM
Re: Addventure attempts - by happerry - 11-22-2006, 07:32 PM
Re: Addventure attempts - by CattyNebulart - 11-26-2006, 02:13 PM

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