Naruto fic seed (update 1)

[anowack]

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I'm just wondering if it's too fast-paced. Is stuff zipping by too quickly?

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Thus far, no.

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"Fine," Sasuke muttered, picking up his own chopstick. He fended off Sakura's attempts to feed him, going for the food himself.

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Hmm. Are you sure you don't mean serve rather than feed here?

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"Yeah," added Sakura, who was mildly disgusted.

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Would probably be better here to show that Sakura is disgusted somehow rather than just telling the reader that she is. Something as simple as just "added Sakura, making a disgusted face." would work, I think.
Other than that, no specific comments on that chunk of story, really. No characterization problems that I noticed.

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Aaron Nowack

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Aaron Nowack