The implications hit me.
I ran from a *girl* who's still in *elementary school*!
(A girl with a glowing scythe and freaky red eyes!), my survival instincts insisted.
--
Introduction part was funny.
The part after Cyan Productions... meh. Sorta ambivalent about it. I realize that the "real" powers will be something like Amalgam and Mythril (as opposed to government powers), but even then, with the confirmation of Mythril's existence and active presence in the world -- since N. and S. China specifically asked Mythril's help -- I'd think the advanced countries would be more up to date on what's going on and salivating at another Whispered. Unless that place is the version of X-Files in a base setting ... i.e. a dumping ground for all sorts of kooks and UFO lovers and what not. If so, then I look forward to the (Mis)Adventures of that group. o.O
On a technical perspective, I think you switched from first person to third person during the General scene. Probably should keep it consistent.
Defenser...? Bardiche, I thought, was British?
Other than that, I'm having difficulties seeing this Fate v. the Fate we see in anime. Other than in settings with Nanoha or her family, she seems to come off as rather reserved (course, she may have the Haruno Syndrome) and formal -- the strong and silent type. At 10, she'd only be... eh... half a year with the Bureau -- a good chunk of which was when she was on probation and waiting for hearings.
I am, however, loving the smackdown laid by Fate. Bullets though huh? If that didn't bring Nanoha running (*more* smackdown), the feeling of magic power up would.![[Image: wink.gif]](http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/wink.gif)
Edit: Also liking the cameo references to X-Files and the touch on training v. Signum. ^^
I ran from a *girl* who's still in *elementary school*!
(A girl with a glowing scythe and freaky red eyes!), my survival instincts insisted.
--
Introduction part was funny.
The part after Cyan Productions... meh. Sorta ambivalent about it. I realize that the "real" powers will be something like Amalgam and Mythril (as opposed to government powers), but even then, with the confirmation of Mythril's existence and active presence in the world -- since N. and S. China specifically asked Mythril's help -- I'd think the advanced countries would be more up to date on what's going on and salivating at another Whispered. Unless that place is the version of X-Files in a base setting ... i.e. a dumping ground for all sorts of kooks and UFO lovers and what not. If so, then I look forward to the (Mis)Adventures of that group. o.O
On a technical perspective, I think you switched from first person to third person during the General scene. Probably should keep it consistent.
Defenser...? Bardiche, I thought, was British?
Other than that, I'm having difficulties seeing this Fate v. the Fate we see in anime. Other than in settings with Nanoha or her family, she seems to come off as rather reserved (course, she may have the Haruno Syndrome) and formal -- the strong and silent type. At 10, she'd only be... eh... half a year with the Bureau -- a good chunk of which was when she was on probation and waiting for hearings.
I am, however, loving the smackdown laid by Fate. Bullets though huh? If that didn't bring Nanoha running (*more* smackdown), the feeling of magic power up would.
Edit: Also liking the cameo references to X-Files and the touch on training v. Signum. ^^