Haven't gotten much done. Did a parital rewrite of what I had and fixed some mistakes, but this scene just won't turn out right.
I have rewriten it a few times alread and I'm still not happy with it. Any suggestions? Or am I just being to hard on myself?
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Fate are you alright! screamed Nanoha telepathically as smoke started to obscure my vision.
I'm fine," I reply in the same manner, protect Arisa and Suzuka. I'll take care of these guys. They are trying to get away, I realized as I heard the car tires squeal. They wont get far. "Plasma Lancer."
Yes Sir said Bardiche as the yellow bolt shot out over the car before turning and smashing through their engine, by now almost completely obscured by the smoke screen.
We surrender! Don't shoot! Babbled the would be kidnappers desperately from the wrecked vehicle. The other guy is getting away! But I can't leave these guys or the might try to kidnap someone else. And what am I going to do when I catch him anyway?
Fate are you alright? Nanoha told us that someone was attacking you. Asked Chrono telepathically.
I'm fine. What is standard procedure when apprehending kidnappers?
Hang on we'll be there in a minute. Usually we leave those cases to the local authorities. And if we do get involved we usually have some sort of agreement with the local authorities. Since this isn't the case here we'll just have to wing it. Just keep them there for now.
They have split up, there is a group here in a car and one guy ran of.
Stick with the group for now.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
I have rewriten it a few times alread and I'm still not happy with it. Any suggestions? Or am I just being to hard on myself?
------------
Fate are you alright! screamed Nanoha telepathically as smoke started to obscure my vision.
I'm fine," I reply in the same manner, protect Arisa and Suzuka. I'll take care of these guys. They are trying to get away, I realized as I heard the car tires squeal. They wont get far. "Plasma Lancer."
Yes Sir said Bardiche as the yellow bolt shot out over the car before turning and smashing through their engine, by now almost completely obscured by the smoke screen.
We surrender! Don't shoot! Babbled the would be kidnappers desperately from the wrecked vehicle. The other guy is getting away! But I can't leave these guys or the might try to kidnap someone else. And what am I going to do when I catch him anyway?
Fate are you alright? Nanoha told us that someone was attacking you. Asked Chrono telepathically.
I'm fine. What is standard procedure when apprehending kidnappers?
Hang on we'll be there in a minute. Usually we leave those cases to the local authorities. And if we do get involved we usually have some sort of agreement with the local authorities. Since this isn't the case here we'll just have to wing it. Just keep them there for now.
They have split up, there is a group here in a car and one guy ran of.
Stick with the group for now.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."