Nanoha Fanfic

[CattyNebulart]

Sigh sorry for the thread necromancy but I'll release chapter one in a few days at most. I have been reworking some stuff and eliminating some plot holes that appeared in my time line and got more stuff written.

However I need feedback on this one scene, since it seems my characterization of Fate is way off base, and yet I think it fits in with what we see on screen, a shy girl, that is unsure of herself outside of combat.

EDIT: GAH what has Yuku done to my poor defenseless formating?

Later that day Nanoha, Chrono and I where sitting in one of the corner booths of the Midori-ya, Nanoha's family's cafe. It gave them the privacy to discuss this morning's incident over ice cream. Nanoha kept giving me worried glances, probably wondering when I became so weak. I want to beat my self in disgust for even thinking that about Nanoha, but instead I just sink deeper into my chair.

"Don't feel to bad," said Chrono. "Thanks to you we captured three of them."

I just sighed and pushed at my ice cream not really feeling like eating. How could I do so badly in front of Nanoha? First I mess up on saving her, then I can't even capture the Wolkenritter, and now I can't even capture some normal humans. I know the fear that Nanoha and Lindy will abandon me if I'm useless is silly, but I still feel it clenching my gut. Momma also used to be kind and gentle. I try to get the topic to move to safer grounds by asking about what I did accomplish. "So do you know why they wanted to kidnap me?"

"Not yet," answered Chrono, "The entire situation is a mess, since this is a non-administered planet we technically have only limited ability to deal with criminals unless our intervention is requested or they operate inter-dimensionally. However since they threatened a bureau mage they are being extradited to Midchilda where their interrogation will take place. We have been trying to find out why they tried to kidnap you, but it has become apparent that they where just hired mercenaries. Apparently the guy that got away was named Smith, and he was the one they where working for."

I barely suppressed my wince at the reminder of my failure. So much for that topic. Thankfully Nanoha diverted the conversation to safer topics. It makes me feel warm and tingle inside, knowing that Nanoha is looking out for me.

E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."