Well the prologue has escaped into the wild: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4380014/1/F ... l_Panic_As
Now who volunteers as a prereader?
Also the switching between first and third person, is it still too jarring now that it happens more than once? If it is I'll fix it but I'm hoping I
made it work.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
Now who volunteers as a prereader?
Also the switching between first and third person, is it still too jarring now that it happens more than once? If it is I'll fix it but I'm hoping I
made it work.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."