Well, I asked for commentary and I got it.
*Subtly bandages his writing hand.* (^_^
Trouble is that it's kind of a rushed thing - sorry to put you through that, Catty. Things on my end are haywire and it can mostly be blamed on the fact that Seventh Fleet is kinda smallish (we only have ONE aircraft carrier).
On the train incident, I thought that it would be too much. Just stopping someone from falling in around here is newsworthy - a Ship's Serviceman, 2nd Class on the USS Blueridge (LCC-19) did that on his way into work with someone that had a seizure on the platform. It made news both on- and off-base.
No worries, though. I'll tweak it summore.
You're right about this being hard. To be honest, I hate it when a writer drags shit on. Yes, the jungle is a nasty, steamy place full of poisenous plants, cold-blooded critters, earth that's gonna swallow you up, things that wanna eat you, and our heroes despise it with a pink-and-purple-passion. There's nothing fun going on! Let's get back into the good stuff! But I guess that's just a personal thing. I'll strive to do better on the next take.
Seriously, I will. Expect something better next week (I hope).
*Subtly bandages his writing hand.* (^_^
Trouble is that it's kind of a rushed thing - sorry to put you through that, Catty. Things on my end are haywire and it can mostly be blamed on the fact that Seventh Fleet is kinda smallish (we only have ONE aircraft carrier).
On the train incident, I thought that it would be too much. Just stopping someone from falling in around here is newsworthy - a Ship's Serviceman, 2nd Class on the USS Blueridge (LCC-19) did that on his way into work with someone that had a seizure on the platform. It made news both on- and off-base.
No worries, though. I'll tweak it summore.
You're right about this being hard. To be honest, I hate it when a writer drags shit on. Yes, the jungle is a nasty, steamy place full of poisenous plants, cold-blooded critters, earth that's gonna swallow you up, things that wanna eat you, and our heroes despise it with a pink-and-purple-passion. There's nothing fun going on! Let's get back into the good stuff! But I guess that's just a personal thing. I'll strive to do better on the next take.
Seriously, I will. Expect something better next week (I hope).