Thinking about rewrites...

[Labster]

So the first use of the word "Doug[las]" is in The Burrow, 45kB into the story.  The second is in Hogsmeade, when Charlie introduces him to Professor McGonagall.  This is ungood.  Maybe have introduce himself to Charlie?  He can spell things out to the reader that he's purposely hiding from the dragon rangers.  Or you can always start with "Call me Douglas."  That's a classic.

Honestly I'm surprised I didn't notice it before either, but I guess we were all used to the tease-the-reader strategy, combined with the fact that Doug usually doesn't like to reveal much of his past for obvious reasons.  Still, it's time to include some more backstory.

I while back I wrote that post on EPU relating writing software to writing crossover fanfic.  One of the things that always confuses me is how differently people react to changes.  If software is broken, and someone fixes it with a patch, everyone is happy.  If a story has a broken element and someone fixes it, people go "OMG those are supposed to be guns, not walkie talkies!  Childhood ruined!1"  I still remember going into a midnight showing of The Phantom Menace, during the scene where they explain midiclorians.  And Tommy Salami turns to me and says, "They just ruined the Force."

This is largely a group of writers in this community, so we probably aren't going to object to any changes.  Writing is editing and refactoring.