Interesting start 
A couple comments -
Sylia "teaching" Lisa - Light the candle, put it out, light it again... very reminiscent of a scene in the first book of the series DW1 was based on, teaching a firestarter to start controlled fires, put them out, start them again.....
During the movie theater scene (Oct 12 2037) it's said that Nene is just shy of 25 years old. Nene's birthyear is 2014, if you go by the date shown in that old BGC video game her birthday is August 31. So she's actually about 6 weeks past her 23rd birthday at that point. Not that it probably matters any.
Sylia asking Linna to take over Loon - I'm a bit surprised she didn't give Linna's past history with the Changs as one of the advantages to her running things there.
btw -- I think you had Linna leave Raven's Garage wearing a jacket over a robe over her testing gear. You didn't have her change out of her workout gear anywhere along the line.
Typo when Madigan's secretary fills her in on the overnight news: "I cant very well have our international offices gong rogue on me now, can I?"
"Also, on a related note, Miss Reika Chang, the rock star known as Vision has flown into Megatokyo." -- I think there should be a comma after Vision.
Girls in the sewers, eh? Certainly more problematical than alligators.
Jeanne
Jeanne Hedge
www.jhedge.com
go.compuserve.com/Comic
![[Image: 6bf36ddc1d2c96930d75576c361a9b3f8152885f.gif]](http://www.accessdenied-rms.net/forums/forumimportfiles/6bf36ddc1d2c96930d75576c361a9b3f8152885f.gif)
Jeanne Hedge
www.jhedge.com
"Believe me, if I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, knowing myself won't be a problem."
-- Gabrielle of Potadeia
A couple comments -
Sylia "teaching" Lisa - Light the candle, put it out, light it again... very reminiscent of a scene in the first book of the series DW1 was based on, teaching a firestarter to start controlled fires, put them out, start them again.....
During the movie theater scene (Oct 12 2037) it's said that Nene is just shy of 25 years old. Nene's birthyear is 2014, if you go by the date shown in that old BGC video game her birthday is August 31. So she's actually about 6 weeks past her 23rd birthday at that point. Not that it probably matters any.
Sylia asking Linna to take over Loon - I'm a bit surprised she didn't give Linna's past history with the Changs as one of the advantages to her running things there.
btw -- I think you had Linna leave Raven's Garage wearing a jacket over a robe over her testing gear. You didn't have her change out of her workout gear anywhere along the line.
Typo when Madigan's secretary fills her in on the overnight news: "I cant very well have our international offices gong rogue on me now, can I?"
"Also, on a related note, Miss Reika Chang, the rock star known as Vision has flown into Megatokyo." -- I think there should be a comma after Vision.
Girls in the sewers, eh? Certainly more problematical than alligators.
Jeanne
Jeanne Hedge
www.jhedge.com
go.compuserve.com/Comic
Jeanne Hedge www.jhedge.com
"Believe me, if I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, knowing myself won't be a problem."
-- Gabrielle of Potadeia