Competition #5: The Kangaroo Joke

[Bob Schroeck]

So, this is probably my favorite competition, to the point where I can still recite from memory some of the entries twenty or so years since I misplaced the book it was in. Henny Youngman is, of course, easy -- it was the original joke word for word. But my favorite of them all was the Edgar Allan Poe pastiche:

Once upon a midnight dreary
Waiting for the owner Cleary
For to come and take me weary
From the bar and lock the door,
In there came a hopping mammal
To the bar and lit a Camel.
Then it ordered a martini --
Damnedest thing I ever saw.

"Vodka," it said, "Stolichnaya.
Pile the ice a little higher.
Less vermouth, I like it dryer.
And an olive, por favor."
Thinking fast to make a few bucks,
Back from ten I gave it two bucks,
Saying, "You're a strange one, mister,
Never seen your type before."
"At these prices? Nevermore!"