We've all seen this before...
![[Image: naruto-girl.jpg]](http://www.absoluteanime.com/naruto/naruto-girl.jpg)
So that got me thinking about something... wrong.
*
Iruka wasn't dying. It would take more than a giant shuriken smashed into his back ot kill him. But he knew when he was beaten. The injuries he had sustained protecting Naruto from Mizuki's attacks had left him barely able to move. The traitorous bastard was even taunting him, standing in full view. If Iruka had been at even half his normal level of ability he coud have defeated the pretty-boy right there and then.
"Come on, Naruto!" Mizuki called out to the forest. Iruka was perversely proud of his student. He couldn't see hide nor hair of the orange clad boy even among the dark of the trees. Then again, Naruto always had been good at hiding from trouble. "Don't you want to know the real reason everyone in the village hates you so much?"
"No! It's against the law!" Iruka gasped, tryiong to struggle forward. Mizuki just pushed him down with one foot, forcing Iruka to cough and groan.
"You see, even Iruka doesn't want you to know," the man said, his face splitting in a sneer. "How twelve years ago a magical beast from another world invaded our village and killed everyone. And only one person could stop it, at the expense of their own life."
"Stop it, Mizuki!" Iruka groaned, clutching weakly at the man's boot. He got kicked in the face for it.
"You carry the legacy of that invasion inside you, Naruto!" Mizuki called into the treeline.
"Let him go."
Both men turned, watching as Naruto walked out of the forest. He placed the massive scroll of forbidden jutsu on the ground in front of him. Mizuki smiled.
"Good boy, Naruto," Mizuki called. He palmed a few kunai behind his back. Iruka tried to call out but Mizuki slammed him back harshly, turning his shout into a gasp for breath. "Now bring me the scroll and..."
"Step away from him," Naruto said slowly. "Or I'll kill you."
"You?" Mizuki laughed. "I don't think so, dead last!" Mizuki laughed.
"I'll destroy you, with the technique I learned from this scroll!" Naruto called, his hands forming a seal. Mizuki blinked. Iruka stared as a bang and a cloud of smoke covered Naruto... only to reveal his newly perfected "Sexy No Jutsu" technique. Iruka continued to stare. Mizuki, for his part, laughed.
"You little punk, did you think a pretty face would distract me?" Mizuki shook his head. He pulled out his kunai. "You didn't even appear naked or anything..."
"Heh, you idiot," Naruto said with a sneer. "I'm just setting up for the most powerful jutsu on this scroll. The one that will release all the power inside me!"
"What?" Mizuki stared. "No, you can't mean...!?"
Iruka gaped. Did Naruto really mean to unleash the full power of the Kyuubi No Kitsune?
"Tsuki No Henge!" Naruto roared throwing his arm into the air...
Neither Iruka nor Mizuki could quite react to what happened next. Naruto seemed to spin in place, surrounded by a nimbus of rainbow coloured light. He, or she as the case may be, posed as her clothes dissolved and were replaced by a much different outfit. one with a short blue skirt, a body hugging tunic and bright red bows. Even the pigtails of Naruto's sexy no jutsu form had been decorated by little buns with red bulbs implanted in them. Naruto grinned as he posed in front of the two stunned ninja.
"How dare you turn the aspirations of students to your own wicked purposes!" Naruto shifted poses. "To betray your home and your fellow teacher is the worst kind of evil!" Naruto shifted a pose again and the clouds overhead broke, revealing a perfect crescent moon. "I am the pretty sailor suited defended of justice, Sailor Moon, and in the name of the Village Hidden On The Moon, I will punish you!"
...Later
"Go... Sailor Moon... fight, or something..."
"Damnit!" Naruto growled. "But down that stupid book and help us!"
Shinobi Kamen, with his distinctive mouthgaurd and one eyed domino mask just glanced over the top of his book at the monster. "Why?"
"Isn't that your job!"
"Well... it might be..." The man nodded left, then right. "Or it might not be..."
"I hate you!"
...later
Naruto flew back against the wall, coughing as the wind was knocked out of him. The woman in the doorway sighed and dropped her bag inside the room. "Damn kid, I told you I'm moving in here."
"Who the hell are you?" Naruto yelled. "You're from Kumogakure?" he said, spying her headband.
"The name is Yogito," she said, sitting down on the bag and crossing her arms. "And I'm your new roommate."
"That's nuts, why shoudl I listen to that!"
"Listen, the whole Village Hidden on the Moon thing needs a cat advisor." She shrugged. "I don't like it any more than you do But as of right now, I'm in charge."
Naruto was beginning to regret ever reading that scroll. He coudl have started with the first one on it, but noo... he had to go to the last one...
....later
"Ano..." the girl rubbed her fingers together. "I'm not... that is... really I couldn't..."
"Listen kid," Yugito leaned forward towards the white-eyed milksop. "I'm not doing this because I have a choice either. Now take the stick and use it."
"But I... that outfit... it really..." The girl blushed, rubbing her fingers together even harder.
Yugito smiled. "You'll get to spend a lot of time with Naru... ow!" Yugito rubbed her hand. That kid was fast! "Now hold it up and say..."
"Suigin No Henge!"
"Yah, that..."
...later
"Hn," Sasuke put his hands in his pocket. "Not a chance."
The woman frowned. "We need you."
"Do I look like a pervert to you?" he sneered. "I'm not about to get caught up in the same problems as Dead Last..." Sasuke turned and began to walk away, waving over his shoulder. "Bye."
The woman frowned. Then her frown slowly transformed to a smile. "You'll learn some of the most powerful Fire Jutsu in the world."
Sasuke paused. "What?"
"Ones that noone else has seen in a thousand years..."
Sasuke began to sweat.
"And best of all, they can't be copied by the Sharingan eye..."
"Give me that stupdi stick!" Sasuke growled, grabbing it from her. The things he would do to get back at That Man... "Marusu no Henge!"
Sasuke paused. "It didn't work." He was not impressed.
"Of course not, first you're going to have to use your Sharingan on Naruto..."
...later
"Sasuke-kun!" Ino cooed, pirroutting in her new outfit. "Don't you just think green is the prettiest colour of all?"
"Hn," Sasuke grunted.
"Back off!" Sakura yelled, pushing the other girl aside. "Sasuke obviously prefers a beautiful yellow-orange that goes with my nice long hair..."
"Hn," Sasuke grunted.
"Sa-ku-ra!" Ino shouted, jumping to her feet. "That's it, Supreme Thunder!" The lightnign jutsu slammed into Sakura, blasting her to piece. Or at leats, it blasted a watermellon to pieces. "Replacement jutsu!" Ino gasped.
"Too slow, Ino!" Sakura called, jumping out of the nearby shadows. "Crescent beam!"
"Ach!"
"Hn," Sasuke grunted.
"Man, you think they woud at least wait until he was a guy again to fight over him like that," Naruto said with a frown.
"Don't knock it, kid," Yugito said. "They were the easiest recruitments yet."
...later
Naruto stood panting at the bottom of the mountain. He really hated running in this outfit. The skirt kept flying up. But without the powerup it gave him he never would have been able to get past those two sand ninja. Esepcially since Yugito had given THEM henshin rod too, for some insane reason!
"Okay, Gaara, this ends now!" Naruto called. The psychotic sand ninja looked at Naruto, still clutching his bleeding shoulder. His eyes had gone wide and his smile was strained.
"You can't stop it now," he said. "It will awaken and destroy us all!"
"Not if I can help it!" Naruto posed. "In the name of the village hidden ion the moon, I will punish you!"
Gaara through his head back and laughed. "Two can play at that game..." He held up his hand. " Sata-n No Henge!"
"Yugito!" Naruto called as Gaara lifted off his feet. "You stupdi bitch!"
...later
"I'll never come back to the village, Naruto," Tsunade said, sipping a saucer of sake.
"You have to!" Naruto growled. "We need a new Hokage!"
"I can't go back, Naruto," she said with a shrug. "I have to stay here."
"That's stupid, there isn't even anyody else here?"
"Of course not." She pushed aside her long green hair. "I wouldn't be a very good gaurdian for the Gates of Time if I let just anyone in, would I?"
Okay, I'll stop now...
--------------------
Epsilon
So that got me thinking about something... wrong.
*
Iruka wasn't dying. It would take more than a giant shuriken smashed into his back ot kill him. But he knew when he was beaten. The injuries he had sustained protecting Naruto from Mizuki's attacks had left him barely able to move. The traitorous bastard was even taunting him, standing in full view. If Iruka had been at even half his normal level of ability he coud have defeated the pretty-boy right there and then.
"Come on, Naruto!" Mizuki called out to the forest. Iruka was perversely proud of his student. He couldn't see hide nor hair of the orange clad boy even among the dark of the trees. Then again, Naruto always had been good at hiding from trouble. "Don't you want to know the real reason everyone in the village hates you so much?"
"No! It's against the law!" Iruka gasped, tryiong to struggle forward. Mizuki just pushed him down with one foot, forcing Iruka to cough and groan.
"You see, even Iruka doesn't want you to know," the man said, his face splitting in a sneer. "How twelve years ago a magical beast from another world invaded our village and killed everyone. And only one person could stop it, at the expense of their own life."
"Stop it, Mizuki!" Iruka groaned, clutching weakly at the man's boot. He got kicked in the face for it.
"You carry the legacy of that invasion inside you, Naruto!" Mizuki called into the treeline.
"Let him go."
Both men turned, watching as Naruto walked out of the forest. He placed the massive scroll of forbidden jutsu on the ground in front of him. Mizuki smiled.
"Good boy, Naruto," Mizuki called. He palmed a few kunai behind his back. Iruka tried to call out but Mizuki slammed him back harshly, turning his shout into a gasp for breath. "Now bring me the scroll and..."
"Step away from him," Naruto said slowly. "Or I'll kill you."
"You?" Mizuki laughed. "I don't think so, dead last!" Mizuki laughed.
"I'll destroy you, with the technique I learned from this scroll!" Naruto called, his hands forming a seal. Mizuki blinked. Iruka stared as a bang and a cloud of smoke covered Naruto... only to reveal his newly perfected "Sexy No Jutsu" technique. Iruka continued to stare. Mizuki, for his part, laughed.
"You little punk, did you think a pretty face would distract me?" Mizuki shook his head. He pulled out his kunai. "You didn't even appear naked or anything..."
"Heh, you idiot," Naruto said with a sneer. "I'm just setting up for the most powerful jutsu on this scroll. The one that will release all the power inside me!"
"What?" Mizuki stared. "No, you can't mean...!?"
Iruka gaped. Did Naruto really mean to unleash the full power of the Kyuubi No Kitsune?
"Tsuki No Henge!" Naruto roared throwing his arm into the air...
Neither Iruka nor Mizuki could quite react to what happened next. Naruto seemed to spin in place, surrounded by a nimbus of rainbow coloured light. He, or she as the case may be, posed as her clothes dissolved and were replaced by a much different outfit. one with a short blue skirt, a body hugging tunic and bright red bows. Even the pigtails of Naruto's sexy no jutsu form had been decorated by little buns with red bulbs implanted in them. Naruto grinned as he posed in front of the two stunned ninja.
"How dare you turn the aspirations of students to your own wicked purposes!" Naruto shifted poses. "To betray your home and your fellow teacher is the worst kind of evil!" Naruto shifted a pose again and the clouds overhead broke, revealing a perfect crescent moon. "I am the pretty sailor suited defended of justice, Sailor Moon, and in the name of the Village Hidden On The Moon, I will punish you!"
...Later
"Go... Sailor Moon... fight, or something..."
"Damnit!" Naruto growled. "But down that stupid book and help us!"
Shinobi Kamen, with his distinctive mouthgaurd and one eyed domino mask just glanced over the top of his book at the monster. "Why?"
"Isn't that your job!"
"Well... it might be..." The man nodded left, then right. "Or it might not be..."
"I hate you!"
...later
Naruto flew back against the wall, coughing as the wind was knocked out of him. The woman in the doorway sighed and dropped her bag inside the room. "Damn kid, I told you I'm moving in here."
"Who the hell are you?" Naruto yelled. "You're from Kumogakure?" he said, spying her headband.
"The name is Yogito," she said, sitting down on the bag and crossing her arms. "And I'm your new roommate."
"That's nuts, why shoudl I listen to that!"
"Listen, the whole Village Hidden on the Moon thing needs a cat advisor." She shrugged. "I don't like it any more than you do But as of right now, I'm in charge."
Naruto was beginning to regret ever reading that scroll. He coudl have started with the first one on it, but noo... he had to go to the last one...
....later
"Ano..." the girl rubbed her fingers together. "I'm not... that is... really I couldn't..."
"Listen kid," Yugito leaned forward towards the white-eyed milksop. "I'm not doing this because I have a choice either. Now take the stick and use it."
"But I... that outfit... it really..." The girl blushed, rubbing her fingers together even harder.
Yugito smiled. "You'll get to spend a lot of time with Naru... ow!" Yugito rubbed her hand. That kid was fast! "Now hold it up and say..."
"Suigin No Henge!"
"Yah, that..."
...later
"Hn," Sasuke put his hands in his pocket. "Not a chance."
The woman frowned. "We need you."
"Do I look like a pervert to you?" he sneered. "I'm not about to get caught up in the same problems as Dead Last..." Sasuke turned and began to walk away, waving over his shoulder. "Bye."
The woman frowned. Then her frown slowly transformed to a smile. "You'll learn some of the most powerful Fire Jutsu in the world."
Sasuke paused. "What?"
"Ones that noone else has seen in a thousand years..."
Sasuke began to sweat.
"And best of all, they can't be copied by the Sharingan eye..."
"Give me that stupdi stick!" Sasuke growled, grabbing it from her. The things he would do to get back at That Man... "Marusu no Henge!"
Sasuke paused. "It didn't work." He was not impressed.
"Of course not, first you're going to have to use your Sharingan on Naruto..."
...later
"Sasuke-kun!" Ino cooed, pirroutting in her new outfit. "Don't you just think green is the prettiest colour of all?"
"Hn," Sasuke grunted.
"Back off!" Sakura yelled, pushing the other girl aside. "Sasuke obviously prefers a beautiful yellow-orange that goes with my nice long hair..."
"Hn," Sasuke grunted.
"Sa-ku-ra!" Ino shouted, jumping to her feet. "That's it, Supreme Thunder!" The lightnign jutsu slammed into Sakura, blasting her to piece. Or at leats, it blasted a watermellon to pieces. "Replacement jutsu!" Ino gasped.
"Too slow, Ino!" Sakura called, jumping out of the nearby shadows. "Crescent beam!"
"Ach!"
"Hn," Sasuke grunted.
"Man, you think they woud at least wait until he was a guy again to fight over him like that," Naruto said with a frown.
"Don't knock it, kid," Yugito said. "They were the easiest recruitments yet."
...later
Naruto stood panting at the bottom of the mountain. He really hated running in this outfit. The skirt kept flying up. But without the powerup it gave him he never would have been able to get past those two sand ninja. Esepcially since Yugito had given THEM henshin rod too, for some insane reason!
"Okay, Gaara, this ends now!" Naruto called. The psychotic sand ninja looked at Naruto, still clutching his bleeding shoulder. His eyes had gone wide and his smile was strained.
"You can't stop it now," he said. "It will awaken and destroy us all!"
"Not if I can help it!" Naruto posed. "In the name of the village hidden ion the moon, I will punish you!"
Gaara through his head back and laughed. "Two can play at that game..." He held up his hand. " Sata-n No Henge!"
"Yugito!" Naruto called as Gaara lifted off his feet. "You stupdi bitch!"
...later
"I'll never come back to the village, Naruto," Tsunade said, sipping a saucer of sake.
"You have to!" Naruto growled. "We need a new Hokage!"
"I can't go back, Naruto," she said with a shrug. "I have to stay here."
"That's stupid, there isn't even anyody else here?"
"Of course not." She pushed aside her long green hair. "I wouldn't be a very good gaurdian for the Gates of Time if I let just anyone in, would I?"
Okay, I'll stop now...
--------------------
Epsilon