And speaking of sci-fi franchises that are damn near ruined by their sequels... (AHEM)

I hope someone looks at the post title and goes "Bwah?" Cause that was kinda my reaction when I first saw it too. ^_^

So yeah - what the heck is "Machete Order" a reference to? It's a suggestion on the order in which to watch the Star Wars movies, both the original and the prequel trilogy. The author of this blog-post right here suggests watching the movies in the following order:   IV, V, II, III, VI. 

Where's number 1? The Phantom Menace? That's where the "machete" comes in. The author, Rob Hilton, has a few interesting points about how Phantom Menace is entirely unneeded to tell the story if you are introducing a potential new fan of Star Wars who has never before seen the films. Here's a few tidbits: 

Quote:There are two obvious options for watching the Star Wars saga.

• Release Order â€“ Watch the films in the order they came out, recreating your experience with the films for someone new to them.
  
• Episode Order â€“ Watch the films in the order George Lucas intends, starting with Episode I and going straight through to Episode VI
  

There are two critical flaws with both of these orders, unfortunately, that prevent either from being appropriate.
The problem with Episode Order is that it ruins the surprise that Vader is Luke's father. If you think that this reveal doesn't matter since it's common knowledge, I suggest you watch the looks on these kids' faces. This reveal is one of the most shocking in film history, and if a newcomer to the series has managed to avoid having it spoiled for them, watching the films in Episode Order would be like watching the ending of The Sixth Sense first.
The other problem with Episode Order is that the prequels don't really have a story. They're just background for the real story, which is Luke's attempt to destroy the Empire and save his father. Watching 3 films of backstory is boring if you've never seen the films they're the background to. Hell, that's why George Lucas made A New Hope first, he knew if he started with Episode I he'd never be able to complete the series. Starting someone off with Episode I is a surefire way to ensure they don't make it through the entire franchise.

Quote:Unfortunately, Release Order is also an instant failure, and the reason is a single shot. If you're watching the original trilogy first, then after the Empire is destroyed and everyone is celebrating, Luke looks over at his mentors, Ben Kenobi and Yoda, and suddenly they are joined by... some random creepy looking teenager who needs a haircut. Placing Hayden Christensen in the ending of Jedi, since he's not in ANY of the other films, turns an ending that should be celebratory into one that is confusing for the viewer. The fact that Christensen looks like he's undressing someone with his eyes doesn't help.
So neither order really works. What to do?

Quote:Effectively, this order keeps the story Luke's tale. Just when Luke is left with the burning question "how did my father become Darth Vader?" we take an extended flashback to explain exactly how. Once we understand how his father turned to the dark side, we go back to the main storyline and see how Luke is able to rescue him from it and salvage the good in him.

The prequel backstory comes at the perfect time, because Empire Strikes Back ends on a huge cliffhanger. Han is in carbonite, Vader is Luke's father, and the Empire has hit the rebellion hard. Delaying the resolution of this cliffhanger makes it all the more satisfying when Return of the Jedi is watched.

Quote:Episode I is a failure on every possible level. The acting, writing, directing, and special effects are all atrocious, and the movie is just plain boring. Luckily, George Lucas has done everyone a favor by making the content of Episode I completely irrelevant to the rest of the series. Seriously, think about it for a minute. Name as many things as you can that happen in Episode I and actually help flesh out the story in any subsequent episode. I can only think of one thing, which I'll mention later.
Every character established in Episode I is either killed or removed before it ends (Darth Maul, Qui-Gon, Chancellor Valorum), unimportant (Nute Gunray, Watto), or established better in a later episode (Mace Windu, Darth Sidious). Does it ever matter that Palpatine had an apprentice before Count Dooku? Nope, Darth Maul is killed by the end of Episode I and never referenced again. You may as well just start with the assumption that Dooku was the only apprentice. Does it ever matter that Obi-Wan was being trained by Qui-Gon? Nope, Obi-Wan is well into training Anakin at the start of Episode II, Qui-Gon is completely irrelevant.
Search your feelings, you know it to be true! Episode I doesn't matter at all. You can start the prequels with Episode II and miss absolutely nothing. The opening crawl of Episode II establishes everything you need to know about the prequels: a bunch of systems want to leave the Republic, they are led by Count Dooku, and Senator Amidala is a senator who is going to vote on whether the Republic is going to create an army. Natalie Portman is called Senator Amidala twice in the first 4 minutes of the movie, so there's no question of who's who.

Quote:As I mentioned, this creates a lot of tension after the cliffhanger ending of Episode V. It also uses the original trilogy as a framing device for the prequel trilogy. Vader drops this huge bomb that he's Luke's father, then we spend two movies proving he's telling the truth, then we see how it gets resolved. The Star Wars watching experience gets to start with the film that does the best job of establishing the Star Wars universe, Episode IV, and it ends with the most satisfying ending, Episode VI. It also starts the series off with the two strongest films, and allows you to never have to either start or end your viewing experience with a shitty movie. Two films of Luke's story, two films of Anakin's story, then a single film that intertwines and ends both stories.
Beyond this, Episode I establishes Anakin as a cute little kid, totally innocent. But Episode II quickly establishes him as impulsive and power-hungry, which keeps his character consistent with eventually becoming Darth Vader. Obi-Wan never really seems to have any control over Anakin, struggling between treating him as a friend (their very first conversation together in Episode II) and treating him as an apprentice (their second conversation, with Padme). Anakin is never a carefree child yelling "yippee", he's a complex teenager nearly boiling over with rage in almost every scene. It makes much more sense for Anakin to have always been this way.
In the opening of Episode II, Padme refers to Anakin as "that little boy I knew on Tatooine." The two of them look approximately the same age in Episode II, so the viewer can naturally conclude that the two of them were friends as children. This completely hides the totally weird age gap between them from Episode I, and lends a lot of believability to the subsequent romance. Scenes in which they fall for each other seem to build on a childhood friendship that we never see but can assume is there. Since their relationship is the eventual reason for Anakin's fall to the dark side, having it be somewhat believable makes a big difference.

Quote:This order also preserves both twists. George Lucas knew that watching the films in Episode Order would remove the Vader twist, so he added the Palpatine twist to compensate. Since we don't really meet the Emperor until Episode VI, this order preserves the twist around Palpatine taking over as Emperor. Episode I establishes that Darth Sidious is manipulating the Trade Federation in the opening scene of the film, and it's pretty obvious Sidious is Palpatine. But if you skip Episode I, all we ever see is that Count Dooku is leading a separatist movement, all on his own. Dooku tells Obi-Wan that the Senate is under the control of a Sith lord named "Darth Sidious", but at the end of the movie, after Dooku flees from Geonosis, he meets with his "master", who turns out to be Darth Sidious. This is the first time we realize that the separatist movement is actually being controlled by Sidious, and it's the first time we see him, which doesn't give the audience a chance to realize he's Palpatine (remember, nobody has ever referred to "Emperor Palpatine" by this point in the series).
Machete order also keeps the fact that Luke and Leia are siblings a surprise, it simply moves the surprise to Episode III instead of VI, when Padme announces her daughter's name. This is actually a more effective twist in this context than when Obi-Wan just tells Luke in Return of the Jedi. We get to find out before Luke, and we discover she's carrying twins along with Obi-Wan when the Gynobot tells him. Luke's name is first, so when Padme names the other kid "Leia" it's a pretty shocking reveal. As an added bonus, there are now about 5 hours of film between the discovery that they are siblings and the time they kissed.

Want to help fund a documentary?

This movie, if it's made, will be about the most recent few years of the Yamakiya Taiko Club of eastern Fukushima, Japan. (Yes, that Fukushima - but this movie is about the club, and doesn't focus on the disaster.)

They need $15,000 or is doesn't happen. They're currently at $2,800. Here/widget/card.html]'s the Kickstarter page...
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

I blame the following on weeks of extreme stress combined with equal weeks of accumulative sleep deprivation (thank God for spellcheck).

Found on a recent trawl through the Internet Alternate-Universe Movie Databse:   the great original classic of Zombie filmmaking, the B&W 1947 magnum opus "The Unquiet Dead," starring Peter Gorre, Claude Braines...
um....
okay, people, help me out here.  It's undead-actor pun-naming time!

The Electric Slide .... everybody who can hear the music does the electric slide.

don't know if anyone's brought it up over the years, but MJ's Thriller causes the two sides of the conflict to resolve it via stylized gang fight before zombie dancing in unison.

why? because i can't help but picture LT playing Neutron Dance for the Dementors and having them all do a synchronized line dance like out of a Hollywood musical.
-Z, Post-reader at Medium
----
If architects built buildings the way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.

Among several other rulings yesterday, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that falsely claiming to have served in the US military and/or to have been awarded medals for such service is, in fact, constitutionally protected speech, and that the Stolen Valor act, which prohibits such frauds, is unconstitutional.
*sigh*
I am deeply, deeply, deeply disappointed to see this, and hope that Congress can indeed pass the alternative legislation already being suggested (criminalizing the use of such deception to seek monetary gain or other considerations).
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

(Posted because Pyeknu coincidentally posted a bit of stagger with a phoenix in it...)

Revolutionary - 22/Jun/2012
Who do laws benefit?  The rich and powerful.  They write the laws.  Get them changed when they're inconvenient.  Or, if they break them, they can muscle or pay their way free.
The rest of us.  We have to live with their leavings.  The scraps of meat they cast aside.  Is there any surprise we get angry?  Break rules, do what we need to survive?
Going into space.  Any new frontier.  People talk of a "fresh start".  Leaving the bad bits, the dross, of the place they came from, behind.
They never do.  It's ground into them.  Dirt that wont wash off.
You need to be brave, to break free.  Risk being unpopular.  Risk breaking the law.
You need to be Boskone.
--
"It is the business of the future to be dangerous" - Hawkwind

You know, guys, when someone sticks an RFC tag onto something, then some sort of response is desired, even if that response is something as rude and uncouth as a suggestion to perform an anatomical impossibility.
At this point, I get the message now.  I won't pester anyone with anything related to DSKS anymore.

Is available at:
http://www.twitch.tv/paragonstudios/b/322882107
Topics of Interest include a look at the new Cosmic Corsair costume pieces available from the new super card packs; as well as a look at Bio Armor and Nature affinity if your not the type that is always haunting beta....
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children

Pulled out of the current Nano-Steps thread...

robkelk Wrote:Time unknown. Date unknown. Location unknown.

I woke up in an alleyway. As alleyways went, this one wasn't too bad - it was clean, and there didn't seem to be any surveillance cameras in the area. Which might just mean I couldn't see them, of course.

Then my bike started shaking. It took me a moment to realize that it was the back pannier that was shaking. I opened it... and Eimi climbed out. Not the laptop computer, but a jumpsuit-clad teenaged girl who looked just like Eimi would if she was human. Well, except for the blue skin. "This is new," she said while looking at her hands.

Then she looked over my shoulder and gasped. I turned around to see an unusual building dominating the skyline - it looked like a cross between an office tower and a hooded cobra ready to strike.

Eimi pulled me down behind the bike. "Doug, we've got to get you some face paint, quickly." Then she added to herself, "This is bad. Very bad."

DRAG0NFLIGHT Wrote:A quick snippet that popped into my head when I read Rob's post up above. Don't know if it's any good, but here it is.
===
I dropped behind the smashed aircar. The CPU's were taking a ferocious beating from the virals. It didn't help that this computer system's only real defender was what looked like a 14 year old kid. They were losing on all fronts, and it was everything I could do to keep pushing them back.
Mouse's idea for a firewall had been a good one, and Eimi had shared a few pointers about how to set it up so that it was self-reinforcing. But she'd taken a few too many hits from the Viral assault, and had been medevacked back to the Principal Office. Leaving me to coordinate the defense, prop up the remaining CPU's, and try to hold the Virals back while their leader made a push on the building behind me.
What sounded like some kind of energy weapon charging up in the distance was all the cue I needed. Diving over the bridge, I caught a reinforcing rod and hung just over the bridge as a massive bolt destroyed what was left of that car. I waited as most of it flew overhead, and down into the depths under the Principal Office. Flipping back up, I straightened my outfit, and waited on the far side of the flaming debris. The CPU's were badly mauled, but if I presented just the right amount of casual moxie, maybe I could make the Virals hang back. But against all the people rushing the bridge, I'd need an edge. ""
As the smoke cleared, I could see their leader. Megabyte looked like something out of a KISS concert. The dark blued-metal body, the evil green death's head icon covering most of his chest, and the metallic red highlights. He had a terminator-esque head, with what looked like an expression of satanic pleasure permanently etched on it. His eyes narrowed as he pointed at me.
"You're very persistent, Sangnoir!"
I grinned, and tossed back, "I'm also better than you!" I stepped through the remaining embers of the wrecked car and casually brushed my jacket, as the light blinked in my helmet visor.
Megabyte just chuckled. It didn't sound very friendly. "I've played that game, Sangnoir. I also won." He raised his arm again, the three claws extending one at a time. "I'm only going to offer you this chance one more time, Sangnoir. Serve me, or die!" Behind him, several Viral cars rose up, leveling rocket launchers, beam cannons, and other various items of mass destruction, while troops around him pointed rocket launchers at me.
I just grinned back, putting as much attitude as I could in the act, while actually hoping I could avoid all that firepower. "Let's ."
The helmet is designed so that competing audio doesn't affect my metagift. I can do this because the earpieces are capable of isolating me from outside sound while the music is playing. This can sometimes leave me unaware of sounds around me. But even the audio protection in my helmet couldn't hide what happened next.
As the first strains of the music poured into me, awakening my gift and creating the first of many metal balls in my hand, the whole system shook. The sky flickered several colors, and with no warning at all, music began to play from the sky above, pouring into the whole System.
I paused as what I'd done just sunk in. I'd just told the System to play my song. And since I was a User, the system did just that.
Megabyte looked around in surprise. The various Viral forces, also shocked by the event spent a few moments staring up at the sky in confusion. Not one to look a gift neohorse in the mouth (don't ask...) I attacked.
Megabyte responded with surprising speed. He smacked one of the balls aside and lunged forward, ignoring the damage the metal spheres were causing in the Viral ranks. Enemy soldiers were knocked around, weapons firing in all directions. Cars were hit and exploded in bright, video-game colors. Other vehicles, knocked off center by the metal madness, fired into the Viral forces, or into the shields protecting the Principal Office. The devastation wrought in the first few moments was impressive, to say the least.
Their leader didn't spare a moment's thought for his troops, however. He charged me, metal claws swiping, Wolverine-style, at me as he closed. I dodged, wove, and flowed around him, waiting for the moments. When I had a clear shot, I struck hard, polykev armored gauntlets smashing into the blue metal body of the Virus.
It was like punching a metal statue. I ducked a return swipe and put some distance between us, shaking my hand out. "Not as much fun as advertised." I'd barely had a moment to register the even before he was on me again. I pulled a metal ball back, but he sliced it into four pieces, and struck me hard as I tried to dodge past him.
The impact hurt, sending me flying back into the debris of that wrecked CPU car. Shaking my head at the sudden dizziness, I was treated to the business end of the claws as he held them just above my face. I almost rolled my eyes at the theatrics, but this really wasn't the time. Besides, Pinball Wizard had some nice defensive options.
Megabyte gave me a really evil grin. "Any last words?"
Before I could deliver the double-fisted can of industrial grade ass-kicking I was prepping, a blast of energy struck Megabyte in the chest, sending him flying back fifteen feet, to land in a sprawl. His claws struck the roadway, drawing sparks as he slid to a stop and surged to his feet, eyes narrow.
Eimi landed in front of me as I stood up slowly. She wore some kind of flight harness, and her 'keytool' device glowed with renewed power. She looked at me and grinned. "Back... And fully charged."

Proginoskes Wrote:In some ReBoot fanfic, there are specific kinds of Virus, based on powers and temperament. Megabyte is a Control Virus: he has powers specialized for brainwashing and seizing control, and corresponding megalomania. Hexadecimal is a Chaos Virus: her powers are vast, diverse, and unpredictable; her moods and thoughts are mercurial, but she helps as much as she harms. I don't like the idea of Doug being a User (judging by what little we learn about them, Users are everything Doug hates about Celestials), but I think it might be appropriate for Doug to look to Mainframe and its residents like a much weaker (and correspondingly saner) Chaos Virus. (I said "look", and not "Doug is a Virus", because my assumption is that Doug's person is invariant in transit: he can't be transformed by a Gate. On the other hand, a biological being doesn't fit into ReBoot's world very well, so Systems have to treat him as if he were a digital entity.)
On the other hand, if Doug isn't a User, there isn't really any reason why he shouldn't be treated as a Guardian himself. Bob (Guardian 452) merged with Glitch by giving it the instruction "Download". Doug and his Keytool were never separate, though he still needs to instruct his Keytool powers.
On the gripping hand, I'm not the one writing it, am I?

DRAG0NFLIGHT Wrote:Heh. The angle I was going with the snippet really wasn't thought out as in-depth as all that. I was just considering what would happen if a human (User) showed up with what amounts to his own portable computing world with him. I mean, if you assume that inside every computer is a microverse filled with self-aware programs, then inside Doug's helmet is the exact same thing.
So what happens when he gives the helmet an order? the Mainframe system essentially misunderstands the instruction, and assumes Doug is addressing it directly. It's like how Bob can give direct network commands, which he does on a few occasions in the series, because he has a higher level of access rights. (One of the reasons Megabyte tries to recruit him early in the series.)
I wasn't going with the angle that Doug knew it would happen. Instead, he issues an order to his helmet, but because certain people with the right level of access can issue verbal commands to Mainframe itself, when he addresses a "System" command, Mainframe assumes he's addressing it, and it responds appropriately.
Edit: That said, I may look at what I can work out of that. I'd probably write it as a half-hour episode, and see where that takes me. ...