The Vocaloid3 software update has really started to make it easy for composers to create a convincing singing voice with minimal effort.  If the English versions of the software ever reach the same level of penetration the Japanese ones have, it's going to become a very interesting time be in the music business...

Here's a little something for my old friends in SME who still read this board.  (For a punny name, an appropriate song to cover...)
- Grumpy Uncle Gearhead

Latest commission from the talented Machsaber.



Neph Seraph.

So that's all of DS's daughters done.

A group of researchers claim to have found a linkage between social conservatism, low IQ and prejudice. I'd say that a more likely explanation for this studies results lies with the researchers political leanings as well as the way they weighed the answers of their study subjects in their analysis. I'll give them that low education levels can be linked to racism but the same sorts of prejudices can be found at high education levels. I found the linkage prejudice and social conservatism a bit iffier as I can see various issues that would skew their results. I would also say that research results more of an example of researchers massaging the data till they "found" the results they wanted.
I'm far from being socially conservative by any measure but the way the reporter wrote things up annoyed me. Link below.
http://news.yahoo.com/low...prejudice-180403506.html
--Werehawk--
My mom's brief take on upcoming Guatemalan Elections "In last throes of preelection activities. Much loudspeaker vote pleading."

(Several search attempts to see if had been mentioned before and nothing came up so...)
Kirby Krackle
Ring Capacity - Allows Doug to duplicate Green Lantern's abilities for the duration of the song.
Plus there's all the other Kirby Krackle songs...
"On and On" - Wolverine healing factor
I Want to live in a world full of Heroes - gives superpowers to normal folk around him
Rainbow Bridge - limited Gate song - allows transportation to the local Asgard
RMH
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
- Albert Einstein

Based on the discovery of Tannhauser Gate in the wake of my Wolf 259 entry...
----------------------------------
Jump Gates
An early attempt of recreating the handwavium technologies that make up the Tannhauser Gate Stargate lead to the creation of the Jump Gates.
Being funded by just about everyone in Fenspace interested in these Gates, there was a lot of trouble getting a shape to build them. After a large amount of haggling it was decided to build a 4 kilometer diameter ring with four struts intersecting it as a sort of guidance system. Some Fen see a resemblance to the Acceleration Gates of 'X3: Terran Conflict'.
However the handwavium based circuicy contains a quirk that quickly became apparent after activating it the first time.
Without a station on the other end, the wormhole only became active for a time measured in Plank Time, while consuming an extreme amount of energy.
For testing purposes another station was established in Alpha Centauri A and the wormhole activated for a second time. This time the wormhole established for a second before becoming unstable and nearly destroying both Gate structures.
A reason was quickly found. The gates needed to be placed in a gravitationally stable position in or near a Lagrange Point of a planet to create a gravimetric anchor.
Moving to the Sol side to the L4 of the Jupiter-Sol gravity system and the other end into the L4 between Alpha Centauri and Epimetheus, the experiment was repeated, leading to a stable wormhole.
Again problems arouse. The wormhole could not be disengaged, neither could it be moved or the Jump Gate removed without destroying both the Gate and the wormhole.
As such the Earth Pandora Jump Gate remains a permanent fixture and links Sol to Alpha Centauri. Later it was seen as a good idea to keep them open, as they allow faster trafic and permanent comminication between systems.
Known Quirks:
'Only so many': Depending on the size of the Star and the size of its largest planets only a number of Jump Gates can be places in a given system. The current max number is Sol with four Jump Gates at the L4 and L5 point of Jupiter and Saturn.
'Those Gates are not cheap, ya know?': Hard to impossible to close a wormhole again. Doing so would destroy both the wormhole and the gate on both sides.

I've been going through Kamen Rider fic for the last couple days looking for something that doesn't suck... and The Crossover That Should Not Be one, Familiar of ZerOOO, a self-insert in the classically blatant style, was the BEST I've turned up out of a dozen or more. Several were truly abysmal, I'd say in the "Is this being written by a twelve year old?" sense... except that I can remember writing a project intentionally childishly in 7th grade, and it was still better than they were.

- CD

ETA: Bonus fanart: Naruto's Decade

--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

Mackie does something because he wants to be his own character.

He builds a racer out of a Blackbird's engine nacelle.

Quote:“Why would you do something like that?”

“I was sick of being Jet’s sister, is all. I wanted to get known for my own thing....”

“Alright, fine. I’ll go,”

Anika hit the bulkhead with a thump. Something hard and metallic jabbed into her back...

“Ow!,” she yelped, rubbing at her back, “Why didn’t you warn me that the gravitational field switched in here!”

Mackie winced. “I forgot to,” he offered a mollifying smile.

Anika scowled at him, “I might forget your sister isn’t supposed to know about this thing?” she warned.

The boy shrugged, “If we get it started, it won’t make a difference.” he paused for a moment. “Besides, you know what she’s like. She’s already killed her own spark with all that Panzer stuff, I won’t let her kill mine.”

There was a fire in his eyes.

Anika’s shoulders dropped in resignation. “Fine. So, so I sit here,”

“Well, I’d rather here,” He pointed at his lap. A hard glare shot down that idea pretty quick. “But the co-pilot’s seat is fine.”

Anika shuffled over into the chair, taking obvious care with her skirt. She yelped again as her hair was tugged by one of the fixtures on the aft bulkhead.

“It’s a bit cramped,”

The cockpit had barely enough space for both Pilot’s and co-pilot’s seats, and a space in between them just large enough for someone to stand side-on. If they could stand side on, on the rear bulkhead, with their head disappearing forward into the nose of the spacecraft. She recognised the comm-panel in front of her, and the navigation system was similar to the Havoc choppers. The silvered nose stretched in front of the forward windows, a sparks flaring of the mirror-polished metal from the lights overhead in the bay.

“It’s a racer,” Mackie smiled at her. “Cruiser class. For the Solar Regatta,”

“How fast?” Anika asked the obvious question.

“The mass is only about four tons. The boosted main reactor, and I’m running the main engines beyond their rated limit...” He did the math on his fingers, counting it out in front of .

“Yes?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I want to hit the big two-oh. I want to join the twenty percent club,”

She tugged dubiously at some cabling hanging lose under the panel

“Are you sure it’ll hold together at that speed?”

The more she thought about this, the more like a bad idea it seemed to be. Try a racecraft? It sounded like a good idea. Hey, something I’ve never done.

“Waved carbotanium,” he knocked on the cabin roof above his head. “They used to build the top-end single-seat racers out of this before nanotube composites came in.”

“Alright then, fine.... so long as this is just a quick run out and back,”

“it shouldn’t take more than an hour,”

“Famous last words,” Anika sighed. “Just, lets get going,”

“YES!” Mackie grinned. He reached up with one hand, and pulled the hatch closed. The two cabin lights flickered, and Anika felt the last of her enthusiasm for this begin to dry up.

New experiences were one thing. Final experiences were another. Mackie was excitedly punching at switches on his panels, before reaching overhead, selecting a few more to flick with prejudice, then st

Systems in the cockpit began to humm and whine. Lights came on on her panel in front of her, systems finally receiving power. She got to work, bringing the nav-panel to life. It was familiar work, done automatically without thinking. Load the system. Spin up the gyros. Input the starting coordinates and take a transponder re...

“Anika, there’s five cartridges under your seat.” Mackie interrupted the process. Her mind forked, and her free hand kept working. “Take one out and stick it in the cradle beside you,”

“Uh,” She groped with her free hand, grasping something that felt vaguely cylindrical, and coldly metallic. Her other hand finished the work while she gripped it and pulled it free. “This?”

“Yup,” Mackie confirmed with a nod.

She scowled at him again. “A Starburst?”

A type of anti-missile countermeasure, a fusion flare which confused seeker heads and sensor pods for ten seconds.

“I need a fusion reaction to kickstart the reactor core, like an old Coffman starter for an airplane. Those do a great job with a few modifications. Just lock it into the cradle. The firing handle’s on my side.”

It rattled a little, and felt just a little to big to fit. She hit it twice, and pulled down what obviously was a lever to lock it into place. It came down with an oddly satisfying thunk.

“Neutron reflector channels open. Booster valves to choke. DT pumps at start pressure. Deuterium injector choke. Tritium injector choke. Neutron guns in startup position,” he reached up with his right hand, grasping at the round end of another lever... stolen from an airliner it seemed. “Um.... I think I’m good,” He placed his free hand on another keypad on his panel. “Say the prayer to our lady of acceleration,”

“Huh?” Anika blinked, before remembering just where Mackie had awakened. “Right...um.... Roughriders....”

Mackie’s expression flattened. “We say it every time we start the Knightwing. How can you not know?”

“I’m busy,” she stated. “I’ve a lot of hardware to boot up,”

“It’s simple. Just say ‘Our lady of Blessed Acceleration, don’t fail us now’, like you mean it.”

She blinked again. “That?”

“Yes, that.” Mackie confirmed with a gentle nod.

“I thought that was just some stupid Blues Brothers reference,”

“It’s that too. But it is important.“ And he was insistent.

It clearly meant a lot to him. Enough to make Anika feel entirely uncomfortable in what she guessed was the equivalent of the pit of her stomach.

“Alright,” she relented. Mackie’s blue eyes stared at her with an icy intensity, waiting. It seemed to be a family trait. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and offered up what she felt passed for sincerity. “Our lady of Blessed Acceleration, don’t fail us now,” she intoned, with deliberate sombriety.

“Don’t fail!” the boy barked. He yanked down on the lever with his hand, mechanisms thunking and latching in the wall behind. A turbine began to wail. Something else thumped inside the can, followed by a dull roar as it lit building into a deep hollow howl.

“It’s lit!” Mackie grinned savagely. “Come on. Come on,”

He stared at the panel in front of him. It started to chime, slowly at first, but quickly accelerating. Anika surmised it was some sort of countdown to full power.

“Come on.” Mackie pleaded. His eyes never lost their icy intesity as he glared hard at a guage in front of him. The chiming began to building on itself, accelerating in frequency, aiming for a crescendo. “Start,”

The cartidge coughed once, twice and died. The whine in back began to wind down, chimes from his panel came slower and slower as the reactor lost power.

They stopped. His shoulders dropped.

“It didn’t start,” Anika said.

“New rods are always tough to light. It takes time for some of the core elements to transmute.” he heaved a sigh. “Next cartridge.”

She didn’t need to be told how to eject the spent it. It popped out as soon as she opened the cradle, landing with a hollow clank on the rear bulkhead beside. Heat still radiated from it’s burst open end, plastic cap having charred black.

The acrid stink of burnt plastic filled the cabin, a faint glow of green still emanating from within the depths of the cartridge. Anika nudged it as far away from her as she could with the metal end of a fresh one.

It locked in a little easier than the first.

“Do we say it again?”

“No,” Mackie shook his head. “Only at the first attempt,”

He reached up once more, and yanked down on the ignition lever. Again, the cartridge ignited with a thump, chased by a roar that drove a whining turbine which seemed to power the chime on his panel.

“Deuterium injectors. Tritium injectors. Intermix ratio. Plasma confinement. Magnetic constrictors.” he murmured to himself, eyes and hands scanning across instruments making quickfire adjustments on the fly, “Power take-off ratio. Neutron reflection angle. Injector strike angle. Particle beam width.”

The chiming grew to a crescendo, pitch and frequency increasing as the engine approached it’s critical point.

“Come on. Come on,” he urged. “Start!”

Anika’s lips went dry. She could feel her whole body beginning to heat up in anticipation, her mind racing with possibilities. An intensity surrounded him, a raw form of ocus. Every single sparking synapse inside him was aimed at one single task, a laser of concentration trying to coax the reactor to life.

Both his hands were working independently of each other.

“A few more seconds.” he urged.

The cartridge replied with a cough. Then silence. The reactor slowly wound down again.

“Dammit!” He yelled. He closed his eyes, swallowing a long deep breath, holding it to soak up his frustration, before blowing it out through his lips.

“Try again?” Anika enquired.

“Third time the charm,” he said with a grin.

Anika repeated the process, nudging the still cooling cartridge down the bulkhead towards the floor before looking the new one into place. Mackie didn’t say a word, he just glared at his controls before lighting it off.

Anika held her breath in anticipation. She could feel herself beginning to heat up inside.

Mackie mixed cursing with more gruff urgings. “Come on. Start you bastard,”

She crossed her fingers. The chiming grew faster and sharper and it seemed to be getting further along. Closer. Closer. Anika’s body crackled in hot anticipation

“Go! Go! Go!,” Mackie urged. “Go!”

If he could light it by force of will, he would have.

The cartridge sputtered and died, it’s fuel exhausted. The chiming continued, slowly petering down to silence.

Mackie slapped the panel “Skuld’s debt come on!”

Anika frowned. No need to get annoyed, it’s only new. Of course there’ll be teething problems.

“Get the fourth one in,” he commanded. There was fire and ice behind his eyes. He was already resetting the controls for the next attempt.

She shot a glare, but really didn’t feel like arguing right now. Revenge was best served cold and subtle and irritating. She calmly reached under her seat and pulled the fourth from it’s holder, while ejecting the third.

Anika had a brainwave. A quick flash of an idea Mackie’d probably run headlong over in the laser-focus rush to get the core up and running.

“Maybe, when the fourth quits... but before the reactor shuts down, I could try get the fifth one in,” she suggested, with a smile.

Mackie gave her a blank stare for a moment.. “Uh, yeah,” he nodded dumbly, “That’s actually a pretty good idea,”

Anika’s smile broadened as the boy’s cheeks turned a faint shade of pink. Revenge! Of a sort. it was all over his face; a sheepish embarrassment that he hadn’t thought of the same thing,

“Just be sure it’s actually finished before you eject it,” he warned, “Plasma in a confined space wouldn’t be fun,”

“Right,” She repeated the reloading process, nudging the spent cartridge down the bulkhead towards the floor before locking the new one into place. “Tell me when I need to reload,”

“Uh,” the boy nodded, already busy getting punchy at the controls again. Systems spooled up for one last try. “It has to light this time. or Jet’ll come back from Venus,”

He’d be better off with her finding out he’d siphoned off parts and credits to build a working ship, rather than a dead lump of parts and wasted money.

“I’m ready,” said Anika.

“Go!” Mackie slammed the firing lever down.

The cartridge thumped into live. There was no urging. No sound from Mackie, just a silent stare at a control panel as the chimes crept up towards their crescendo.

Closer, closer.

Again, Anika could feel herself beginning to warm as she held her breath. She already had the fifth cartridge in her hands, ready to go.

It coughed

“Now!” Mackie barked.

Anika moved in slow motion, pulling as hard as she could on the ejector. The smouldering cartridge sprang out, still spitting searing embers and smoke. The reactor was already winding down, the chiming slowing and lowering in pitch as it lost energy. It was losing fast, and it was taking her so long to do this. A wash of heat crossed her face as she forced the final cartridge into place. She yelped as something burning hot bit at her wrist, snatching her hand back for a second, before shoving the cartridge in single-handed. It locked down.

“Fire!” the boy yelled.

It ignited with a punch. Turbines inside screamed and whined. Chimes grew more and more urgent, an invisible momentum building alongside the grin on Mackie’s face. He was so busy adjusting things, he’d forgotten to breath. He’d forgotten to blink.

“C’mon ya bollix!”

And when his usual Atalante American slipped, he proved he really was his sister’s brother. Anika felt herself giggle.

The chime became one single, sharp tone, ringing off the cabin structure, pressing hard on her eardrums.

“It’s alive!” he gasped. “It’s alive, it’s alive.... It’s ALI~IVE!”

There was a mad’s fire in his eyes as he began to laugh maniacally. Frankenstein would’ve been proud, and Anika couldn’t figure out if he was doing it for real, or just playing the part with more ham than a pig farm.

She offered a nervous laugh, forcing herself to assume it was a joke.

“it works.... it really works,” he giggled..

“Congratulations,” she said, mildly.

He threw her a broad, shiteating grin that seemed to bisect his face from ear to ear for a few moments. “Now, let’s see if it flies.”

She punched a few commands into her keypad, transmitting them to the local system. “I’m opening the inner airlock door”

Not the main hatch. Too much effort for such a small shuttle.

Mackie edged the throttles forward. The engines came to life with a dull humm, building to a gentle, muffled roar as the shuttle lurched forwards, then accelerated at a slow pace.

He was giggling. He was laughing, he was revelling it it. It was moving at less that 30kph through the cavernous bay, passing over the other Friggan craft.

They landed once more inside the airlock chamber, Anika closing the inner door. The hull creaked and cracked as the atmosphere outside was vented, pressure pushing outwards.

It held. It held tight. No sweet little squeaks or hisses of escaping gas. Pressure gauge steady at .80 standard.

“Opening outer hatch,”

She keyed in the command and the door dropped open, revealing the abyss of black beyond.

“Let’s ride!”

Mackie punched the throttles forward. The chamber receded behind in an instant, as the shuttle was propelled out into still blackness beyond. Moments later Frigga had become a pebble in the rear view mirrors, a moment later a sand-grain, then nothing. Anika didn’t dare ask how hard they were accelerating. Gravity still pulled her back into her chair, gripping her tight.

“A light-minute out and back?” the boy offered with a smirk.

“Fine by me,” Anika nodded. “Just kept it quick

“Sensors?”

“Except for Frigga, empty to maximum range,”

Eight light seconds ahead. Five both sides. Three behind. Nobody to come help if something went wrong. Nobody in the control room at Frigga to pick up a weak distress call. And no traffic expected until the Dragon Wagon returned six hours later.

Fortunately, it proved to be an uneventful voyage.

Just a quick around-the-block really while they ran through a few systems checks to make sure everything was working as it should. It wasn’t.... natural teething troubles.... but nothing critical was wrong. And for a ship intended to break the big two-oh, it was a nice lazy cruise.

She had time to crawl forward along the floor-mounted ladder into the sleeping area. Two bunks faced each other along both sides of the hull, with a pair of portholes built into the top of the hull at the far end. Crew slept strapped in and technically standing up. There was storage behind the beds, and sanitation was a matter for an OGJ skinsuit each.... if they’d been on a longer trip. Or been human...

She drew the line right there. No way was she ever going to crew this. No chance in hell.

She pulled herself back up into her seat in time to see Frigga begin to loom.

Mackie just sighed, dissapointed it was all over so quickly. “Could you transmit the key code for the airlock,”

Lazily, she punched it in to her panel.

It answered with an error.

“It didn’t transmit,”

The boy blinked at her “Huh?”

She hurried through quick diagnostics. “Equipment checks out. It’s just refusing to transmit the airlock code.” She tried a few more keys, “It’ll transmit anything but the code,”

“And there’s nobody in the control room to open it manually, right?”

She confirmed with a sick, silent nod.

“Chigusho!” the boy spat, in a wonderful imitation of his sister.

Well, time to wait.

Six. Whole. Hours.

----

Six hours later. The radio came to life.

“Unknown ship. This is the Dragon Wagon.... state your identity, and business immediately,”

His Sister’s voice. Mackie’s face greened. This was going to be fun.

------

The Labyrinth meets The Matrix - Neo is not the only One, or perhaps it's just that Sarah has a rogue Machine and its Agents on her side...

- CD
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

Being a D&D3e mini-adventure/encounter I ran out of interest in finishing with the middle still rather rough, this is passed on in the hope that someone, somewhere, will be amused enough by it to run as a beer & pretzels gag or to fill the second hour on New Character Night as mentioned below. It was going to be the first encounter in a D&D Gamefic I had meant to write, but like I said I ran out of interest.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Read aloud if you like:
----------------------------------------------------------------
Prologue to Danger

The group of young heroes had gathered - Jomo, the Construct soldier, big, fearless, and tough; Cholo, the young Human Wizard who called him her brother; Raleigh, Human follower of the Silver Flame and student of a famed healer; and Robbyn and Bobbyn, twin Halflings who could get into the most amazing trouble but usually found their way back out. But now, everyone was getting impatient.

"Where the heck is that Paladin?" Raleigh complained. "Isn't timeliness one of the virtues they're supposed to uphold? Look guys, if she doesn't get here soon, let's just start heading for Spuky Cave without her. She knows where we're going anyway, she can catch up."

"But what about the dragon?" asked Robbyn. Bobbyn nodded her head, agreeing with her brother as she almost always did. "And his lizard-men. I dunno if I wanna fight a dragon and a bunch of lizard-men without a knight," she added.

"Enough waiting. Let's just go," Jomo put in. Cholo shrugged and stood up, her silent agreement tipping the decision, so they trooped out of the town square, headed toward the gates... to adventure!

----------------------------------------------------------------

This is less an adventure, and more an encounter, something you can run in the second hour on New Characters Night perhaps. Though a 1st-level party can handle these events the level of the PCs really doesn't matter as combat isn't the point, (and if they are a bunch of lowbies they'll get spanked if they try to run it as straight combat when the 'monsters' show up) it's a quick, light-hearted NPC encounter to let the wierdoes who put points in things like Diplomacy and Knowledge(nature) dust them off. And if they really shine, maybe gain an ally or two for the future.

Although written with Eberron loosely in mind, the only really setting specific thing is The Order of the Silver Flame, mention of a Warforged, and a child pretending to be a Warforged, so if you're not playing an Eberron campaign just use a different name for an order of paladins, a Dwarven name instead of Heavycatapult, and change Jomo's costumed identity to be a Smart Golem. If you don't allow exceptional members of monster races to have good alignments, either change Meepa into a Gnome, with a suitably Gnomish name, or have him be a member of some other race Polymorphed or Reincarnated as a Kobold.

Read aloud:
-----------------------------------------------------------------
You're walking down the road, just cresting a hill - don't bother figuring out a formation, nothing's happening yet - and across a short gap is a town centered around a small keep on a somewhat taller hill. You're just leaving the edge of the woods when you notice something very strange off to one side. No Spot check is needed, as it's very obvious - a wooden signpost driven into the ground in the grassy verge, perhaps three feet tall, on which is clearly printed "DAINJER," in rather shaky letters. Behind it is a side trail, wide enough for a cart but only trampled bare on a foot-path in the middle, which runs back into the tree line on the side of the hill. A few paces further down this side trail is another sign which reads "SPUKY CAVE", and just visible before it turns a corner around a boulder is "TERN BACK NOW!" Oh, and everyone should give me a Listen check.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Listen DC You hear...
10 Wind in the leaves.
12 Voices
15 of women or small children
18 who are shrieking.
20 They're down this side path
25 and don't seem to be moving.
30 There's something growling down there also.

Add 10 to retry this check as they reach each sign until all the information has been given out.

It's highly unlikely the party will not investigate, but if not just let them continue on to the town. If they do, they'll meet a young half-elven girl with her golden blonde hair tied back in a bow running up the road about half way, carrying a stuffed toy hippogriff and a wooden sword. The emblem of the Silver Flame is sewn onto the front of her heavily quilted blue tunic and the rest of her clothes are sturdy linen in a creamy off-white. If they investigate the signs like good little heroes, she'll still arrive at the next area about the same time they do.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Liana Welltall, age seven and ten months so really almost eight.

"I'm a Paladin of the Knights-Militant of the Order of the Silver Flame! (gasp) This is my hippogriff mount, Randolf. Well, I'm gonna be a paladin, anyway."
LG Small Half-Elf (child)
Init -2, Senses: Low-light Vision, Listen +0, Spot +0
Languages: Common, Elven

AC: 13 (+1 size, +1 Quilted Shirt, +2 Cute, -1 Dex) touch 12, Flat-footed 13
HD: 1/2d10-2 (3hp)
Fort -2, Ref -1, Will -1

Speed: 20ft (4 squares)
Melee: Wooden Toy Sword +1 (1d4 subdual/x2)
Base Attack +0, Grapple -4

Abilites: STR 10(-4) DEX 9(-4) CON 6(-4) INT 10 WIS 7(-4) CHA 13
Note: Liana's WIS and physical stats have been reduced due to her youth
Special Attacks:
Bonk Minor Evil: 1/day, add +1 to hit and 1 point of subdual damage to an
attack against a creature acting selfish or cruel
Special Qualites:
+2 Cute bonus to AC
Kiss Booboo: Able to make 2 points of subdual damage stop hurting per day
Elven blood: Considered an Elf for race-based effects
Skills:
Knowledge(religion) +2, Knowledge(nobility & royalty) +2, Sense Motive +1,
Listen +0, Search +0, Spot +0, Diplomacy +4, Gather Information +4
Items:
Small Quilted Shirt (7sp, AC+1, Max Dex +10, spell fail 10%,
Armor Check penalty -0, 2 lb.)
Small Toy Longsword (5cp, 1d4 subdual, crit x2, 2 lb., bludgeoning)
Small Commoner's Outfit (1sp)
Treasure:
Tiny Stuffed Hippogriff (4cp) "Be careful, he'll bite if you're not nice."
Pretty Hair Ribbon (1cp) "My Mommy gave it to me a'fore she went Questing."
Lunch Money (1sp) "(tears) You.. you aren't really gonna take my lunch
money, are you? (sniffle) M-my Mommy will come back and smite you good!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Needless to say, beating up Liana for her lunch money or being mean to her in any way should give PCs alignments a solid nudge towards Evil... and possibly
get a very upset, high-level Paladin of the Silver Flame, aka Mommy, on their cases a month or two down the road. Guard Captain Daddy isn't likely to be too happy either.

Talking to Liana: Diplomacy checks, or just adapt the answers if the players actually role-play the conversation.

Asking about the town:
DC She says...
10 "It's called Homlee Rest."
12 "But it's not 'homely' like 'a place that's home,' it's for Dame
Liana Homlee who builded the Keep here when she retired."
14 "Let's see, there's the Keep, and lotsa houses, and Mr. Goodleaf's
inn, and Mr. Berg's store, and Mr. Heavycatapult's smithy. He
says he likes making swords better than using them. He's a wierd
kinda warforged."

Asking about Dame Homlee:
DC She says...
10 "She was my Grammy's Grammy! I'm named for her, too."
14 "She was a Paladin of the Silver Flame just like Grampa and Mommy."
16 "She was really pretty. There's a picture of her in the Keep."

Asking about her parents:
DC She says...
10 "Mommy is a Knight-Militant of the Silver Flame, so now that I'm
bigger she gets to go on a Quest every year again."
12 "Her name is Mommy of course! Or sometimes Love or Honey, when
Daddy is talking."
15 "Well... I guess other people call her Kerri. Daddy has lots of
names for her, but that's the only one other people use too."
18 "Daddy's name is hard... It's kinda like 'Arthur.' Aarr... Aerthuire?
He's in charge of the gates, which is real important!"
20 "Daddy's in charge of all the soldiers in town too! I'm not s'posed
ta talk about them with outsiders, though. It's a Military Secret."

Asking about the sign:
DC She says...
10 "It's the path to a cave where we play Knights and Monsters."
13 "Cholo said she saw spooky lights in there last week."
16 "Jomo told me a ravenous dragon chased him away yesterday.
What's ravenous? Does it mean the dragon was like a black bird?"
18 "An' he said there was a lizard-man who yelled and cast a spell
at him too."
20 "Today we're gonna explore the back of the cave and fight the mean
dragon. Oh no, I'm late!"

Unless the PCs talk quickly, Liana will continue running for the side path at this point, so hopefully they either asked about the town and Liana's family before or don't care. Also, hopefully the PCs will take the second-chance hook and follow the little girl who announces she's about to go explore a dragon's cave, rather than assuming it's nothing but childish imagination. If there's been rumors of a dragon or some kind of magic-using reptilian in the area to whet their interest, so much the better.

As for why a little girl in a ponytail has a full NPC stat block, read on.

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arrive at the scene

Glaciax is swoooping around, chasing the kids.

Spot checks to notice his tail stinger (DC20) and pink eyes (DC25)
Knowledge(nature) or (dungeoneering) to know that pseudodragons have that body type and tail stingers, and are well known as kindhearted, but are supposed to be red.

Jomo swings his stick and Glace catches the end in his jaws, they start wrestling

What are you doing?

Listen or seperate Spot check from above (whichever is better per character) to notice Liana running up behind them, she's not trying to be quiet but there's the obvious distraction in front of them, so DC15

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Jomo, human, big boy of 10 playing with little kids 'cuz Cholo is his sister
"But I'm not actually a boy, I'm a Warforged soldier! See my metal hands?"
6hp, AC 10, Fort +1, Ref +0, Will +0
STR 12 DEX 11, CON 13, INT 10, WIS 10, CHA 8
wearing gauntlets and a full helm, Melee unarmed strike +1 (1d3+1/x2, bludgeoning) or Stick (club) +0 (1d6+1/x2) or Ranged Stick +0 (1d6+1/x2, 10ft, bludgeoning), Grapple -5

He is currently wrestling with and losing to the "tiny white dragon" who has bit onto the other end of his stick, dug its clawed feet into the packed gravel floor for leverage, and is flapping its wings to pull extra hard. It is also the source of the growling heard earlier, which is remarkably loud and deep for such a small creature.

Second round of Spot and Knowledge checks now that Glace is mostly holding still, DC 15 and 20, and a Sense Motive or Handle Animal check to realize he's playing. If (when) the PCs start fighting him, one more chance on Knowledge at the same DC when he uses his Sleep Gas breath weapon and/or stinger.

Other children, all around half the base Starting Age for their race:
Cholo, Small F human, age 7, Cha 13, "wizard" complete with robe and pointy hat, shrieking as her brother battles the 'fierce dragon.' She has the Night Haunt magical talent feat which gives her Dancing Lights, Prestidigitation, and Unseen Servant once each per day as a 1st level Sorceror.
Raleigh, Small M human, age 8, clutching a wooden mallet and a light shield with the Silver Flame insignia painted on it, standing very still and staring with very wide eyes.
Robbyn & Bobbyn, Tiny M & F halfling twins, age 11, peeking out from either side of a large rock.

Glaciax
Albino M Pseudodragon Familiar
"Grrrf! Grrf? Grr-rrrf."

Glaciax has been sent out to scare the children away, because they're making too much distracting noise and shouldn't be out playing in the woods in the first place. He made a somewhat half-hearted attempt at first, swooping and chasing them around the large chamber as the PCs saw, but as soon as it turned into a wrestling match his mind is entirely on the game.

"LET'S GET 'IM, RANDOLF!" If she was leading the way or got past the party, Liana charges in and whacks Glaciax with her sword, making him yelp and jump away. She chases him furiously around the cavern, shouting about how justice and good will always triumph over meanies.

Are the PCs doing anything? They should be, but if they take too long to decide, keep moving.

Jomo, seeing the little dragon get some clearance, throws his stick at it, instantly drawing Glaciax's attention - it's his absolute favorite game! The pseudodragon swoops and grabs the stick out of the air in his forepaws, performing a loop-de-loop before flying back over to Jomo and sitting on his haunches, stretching up to offer it with an inquisitive "Grrrf?"

If the party decides to fight Glaciax (probably, they are adventurers after all) he'll take them much more seriously, but he is only a Pseudodragon so even a 1st-level group should be able to beat him. Before he can fall, however, Meepa will appear and cast Web or Hold Person, yelling at the kids in his gruff but high pitched voice to stop making so much noise in his cave and interspersing the rant with impressively vile curses in Draconic.

Meepa
CG Old Iredar Kobold Wizard 7/Expert 3 (age 98)
"You noisy kids, get out of my cave! Can't you keep your kolgox racket in town? Sic'em, Glaciax! No, no, use your beath! Don't chase the stick..."

spells for binding and defense

at some point after things settle down, Liana uses her Kiss Booboo power on the spot where she hit Glace.

Meepa can become the patron of a low-level party, first in the deeper levels of Spuky Cave (which he only just connected it to via tunnel digging magic) then sending them to a couple of delves he knows the entrances to in order to retrieve certain rare tomes he believes to have been abandoned in them when they fell to marauders, in exchange for allowing the PCs to keep any treasure they might find along the way and to make copies of the information themselves if they're interested. Some are spellbooks and scrolls, others various obscure Knowledge or Craft information. ("Remember, any scroll you find which is not of an all-pervasive, common spell MUST be returned to me, not cast and destroyed. The magics you seek are irreplaceable!)

If the players totally ignored the situation: Let them. About half an hour later the kids will come running into the town, pursued by Glaciax until they're inside the gates, having had a good scare and possibly a few bumps but otherwise unharmed. Talking to the townspeople about it will reveal that a Kobold sage long exiled from his tribe for practicing Wizardry instead of Sorcery lives in the depths of the cave, which is why the children are allowed to play there - he's not a social person, but his heart is in the right place (verified by Dame Paladin Mommy when he first arrived a decade ago with Detect Evil and Discern Lies) and they know he won't hurt the children even if he does chase them off when they make too much noise for his concentration to stand.

The town of Homlee Rest is mostly left up to you to develop if you like, otherwise it can be a quick stop for a night's rest, to load up on travel supplies, or a last-minute splurge on armor or weapons from Heavycatapult the Warforged blacksmith's shop. Contrary to what one might expect, he is in fact a Warforged Scout (Small creature, found in MM3) who got his name from climbing into the basket of a heavy catapult and having the bombardiers launch him into a formation of enemy troops that were about to hit the flank of his unit. One of his arms and both legs are of visibly newer construction than the rest of his heavily scratched and pitted body. Feel free to use him elsewhere if the players ignore the town. As for "the Keep" it's a solidly constructed two-storey stone manor house surrounded by an outer wall with corner towers, and while big enough to house everyone in town in an emergency, the wall is only ten feet tall and there's no serious fortifications. They'd be packed in tight and there aren't the supplies needed to stay that way for more than a few days, either. The local Temple of the Silver Flame is also inside the wall, but is a seperate building facing the manor across a courtyard. Liana lives there as part of the local noble family; Jomo, Cholo, and the twins are the children of some of the staff. Raleigh's family lives in town, but he studies under the senior priest at the Temple several days a week.

- CD, doesn't get a +2 Cute bonus to his AC...

ETA: I think I may have posted this before, actually, but I'm not sure...
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows