why can I not get this sig to display properly?
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"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin

remove all beverages from your immediate vicinity before reading.

I had been banging around the roads of east Texas on my motorcycle and as I
headed back into Dallas, found myself in very heavy, high-speed traffic on
the freeways. Normally, this is not a problem, I commute in these conditions
daily, but suddenly I was nearly run down by a cage that decided it needed
my lane more than I did. This is not normally a big deal either, as it
happens around here often, but usually I can accurately predict which
drivers are not paying attention and avoid them before we are even close.
This one I missed seeing until it was nearly too late, and as I took evasive
action I nearly broadsided another car that I was not even aware was there!

Two bad decisions and insufficient situational awareness…all within
seconds.. Time to get off the freeway.

I hit the next exit, and as I was in an area I knew pretty well, headed
through a few big residential neighborhoods as a new route home. As I turned
onto the nearly empty streets I opened the visor on my full-face helmet to
help get some air. I figured some slow riding through the quiet surface
streets would give me time to relax, think, and regain that "edge" so
frequently required when riding.

Little did I suspect…

As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it
and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and
must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I
really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it -
it was that close.

I hate to run over animals…and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a
squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the
impact.

Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels can take care of themselves!

Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on
his hind legs and facing the oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his
little beady eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he
screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, "Banzai!"
or maybe, "Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!" as the leap was spectacular
and he flew over the windshield and impacted me squarely in the chest.

Instantly he set upon me. If I did not know better I would have sworn he
brought twenty of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling,
hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was
dressed only in a light t-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a
bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!

Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a
t-shirt, and leather gloves puttering maybe 25mph down a quiet residential
street…and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing.

I grabbed for him with my left hand and managed to snag his tail. With all
my strength I flung the evil rodent off the left of the bike, almost running
into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw.

That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It
really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the
pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have
headed home. No one would have been the wiser.

But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary pissed-off
squirrel.

This was an evil attack squirrel of death!

Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands, and with
the force of the throw swung around and with a resounding thump and an
amazing impact he landed square on my back and resumed his rather
anti-social and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my
left glove with him!

The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were
continuing, and now I could not reach him.

I was startled to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw,
only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking
back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the
throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one
result. Torque. This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very
good at it.

The engine roared as the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel
screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in…well…I
just plain screamed.

Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in
jeans, a slightly squirrel torn t-shirt, and only one leather glove roaring
at maybe 70mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street…on
one wheel and with a demonic squirrel on his back. The man and the squirrel
are both screaming bloody murder.

With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the
handlebars and try to get control of the bike. This was leaving the mutant
squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into
somebody's tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how
to release the throttle…my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to
mash the back brake, but it had little affect against the massive power of
the big cruiser.

About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient
attention to this very serious battle (maybe he is a Scottish attack
squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got IN my full-face
helmet with me. As the faceplate closed partway and he began hissing in my
face I am quite sure my screaming changed tone and intensity. It seemed to
have little affect on the squirrel however.

The rpm's on The Dragon maxed out (I was not concerned about shifting at the
moment) and her front end started to drop.

Now picture the large man on the huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in
jeans, a very ragged torn t-shirt, and wearing one leather glove, roaring at
probably 80mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel's tail
sticking out his mostly closed full-face helmet. By now the screams are
probably getting a little hoarse.

Finally I got the upper hand…I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him
out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it
worked…sort-of. Spectacularly sort-of, so to speak.

Picture the scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a
quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some
paperwork.

Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a
torn t-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing one leather glove, moving
at probably 80mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by and
with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your
police car.

I heard screams. They weren't mine…

I managed to get the big motorcycle under directional control and dropped
the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a
stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign at a busy cross street.

I would have returned to fess up (and to get my glove back). I really would
have. Really. But for two things. First, the cops did not seem interested or
the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. One of them was on his
back in the front yard of the house they had been parked in front of and was
rapidly crabbing backwards away from the patrol car. The other was standing
in the street and was training a riot shotgun on the police cruiser.

So the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to "let the
professionals handle it" anyway. That was one thing. The other? Well, I
swear I could see the squirrel, standing in the back window of the patrol
car among shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery, and shaking his
little fist at me. I think he was shooting me the finger…

That is one dangerous squirrel. And now he has a patrol car…

I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made an easy right turn, and
sedately left the neighborhood.

As for my easy and slow drive home? Screw it. Faced with a choice of 80mph
cars and inattentive drivers, or the evil, demonic, attack squirrel of
death…I'll take my chances with the freeway. Every time.
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

Thought this might be helpful.
Note, I did NOT create this - someone posted this on the official CoH forums. All I did was upload it to Google documents for ease of access for the folks here, and so I could provide a proper URL in this post. All credit due to the guy who originally transcribed and formatted this, @Nalrok Ath'Zim
This is a text (RTF) file with all the various Mission Architect fields listed. This allows you to do the bulk of your writing and planning outside the game, and just copy-paste in the finished text. Granted, you can do that without the help of this document, but I find this very helpful as a reminder of what's needed in each area.
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dgghwpmf_0fzvmcnfg]Architect Planner Sheet (RTF)
-- Acyl

Never mind.

I'll admit it - I simply don't like Vista on general principal. When I bought my new Toshiba Satellite A355D series laptop, Vista was a very twitchy
critter. This wasn't several months ago, mind you. More like two weeks ago, so it's not like it didn't come with fixes for all the major bugs.

Dissatisfied, I went back to XP and the only regret I have is that it took me several frustrating days to find appropriate drivers for the GPU. Toshiba and
Microsoft performed some kind of wankery that prevents ATI's Catalyst system from working right. I had to find a modder to work some magic over the driver
files between when they were extracted and when they were installed. Worst yet, I have yet to find ANY drivers for the mainboard chipset - not even on
AMD's website!

Thing is, though, I now have a stable copy of Windows XP 64-Bit Edition running on a laptop that, going by contractual agreements between Microsoft and
Toshiba, is only supposed to run Vista and Vista alone.

This is what leaves a bad taste in my mouth about Vista, really. Not all the crying wolf over DRM and bloatware - they've actually gotten better about
that. No, my issues are with Microsoft trying to make Vista as proprietary as Macintosh is.

What puzzles me the most is that Toshiba and AMD/ATI both supposedly support Linux OSs such as Ubuntu (especially Ubuntu!), yet why am I finding such
lack-luster driver support? There should be no reason for me to not get the Gnome GUI when I boot, yet instead I'm always booted into Terminal with nary
an amennity (I can't even get X going). Is this Microsoft's doing in trying to limit avenues of escape to other OSs? Part of me would like to think
so and salivates at the idea of the anti-trust lawsuit THAT would bring. The other part certainly hopes not.

For now though, I'm sticking primarily with XP - at least I have the 64-Bit version so I can take full advantage of my resources.

... I'm a pirate, I'm 'allowed to plunder entire cities.

It took us two weeks to get from the 'Cloud (thats the Oort Cloud by the way) to Venus. Most of the time was spent Organizing, and crunching numbers
for the Inward Jump. The rest of it was just a salvage operation on a scale no one had ever done before. We did however send a two day warning to Venus
Orbital Traffic Control that we were coming in on an inward pounce. Still I think that we surprized nearly every body when The Kzinretti, with nearly 500
other transports in its wake, unfolded into Venus orbit over the former location of Crystal Osaka, and dropped over thirty thousand Reaver class Cybernetic
Catgirls into the lower Atmosphere lift the remains of the city into orbit.

---

Somewhere over the fallen city of Crystal Osaka...

"-- Nyaa -- Attention Venus Orbital,

-- Nyaa -- This is the Kzinretti, Flagship of the Catgirl Assault Tribe.

-- Nyaa -- We are here to take the remains of Crystal Osaka.

-- Nyaa -- Please Keep all other craft to minimum safe distance.

-- Nyaa -- Operation "On Ur planet Eating Ur City" begins
now.

-- Nyaa -- Sounding Goldfish Warning

We move like cagey tigers

We couldn't get closer than this

The way we walk

The way we talk

The way we stalk

The way we kiss

We slip through the streets

While everyone sleeps

Getting bigger and sleeker

And wider and brighter

We bite and scratch and scream all night

Let's go and

Throw all the songs we know

Into the sea

You and me

All these years and no one heard

I'll show you in spring

It's a treacherous thing

We missed you hissed the lovecats

(Ba ba-da...da da da da da...)

We're so wonderfully wonderfully wonderfully

Wonderfully pretty

Oh you know that I'd do anything for you

We should have each other to tea huh?

We should have each other with cream

Then curl up by the fire

And sleep for awhile

It's the grooviest thing

It's the perfect dream

Hand in hand

Is the only way to land

And always the right way round

Not broken in pieces

Like hated little meeces

How could we miss

Someone as dumb as this

I love you ... let's go

Oh ... solid gone ...

How could we miss someone as dumb

As this?

---

Ok, you can yell at me now...

I was browsing the http://www.archive.org/]Internet Archive and came across something that I recalled linked into the concordance for DWII.

Here's the concordance entry, from Chapter 10:

Quote:What am I doing?
Although not intended as such when I was writing, several readers have noted that this is also a quote of a classic Bugs Bunny line, perhaps best known from Falling Hare, an early 1940s cartoon where Bugs finds himself "helping" a gremlin try to explode a blockbuster bomb with a big mallet.

Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne, author of such classic Ranmafics as "Quentin Tarantino's Ranma 1/2" and "Lookin' Down the Barrel of
a Glomp," and several very popular Neverwinter Nights modules, is a City of Heroes player... and now, of course, a scenario writer.

Gaze upon his prototype
arcs, ye mighty, and rejoice.

--Sam

"Thunder ripped across the sky like a garden weasel."

...

S...

P...

O...

I...

L...

E...

R...

S...

................................................................................................................................................................................................

.............................................................................................................................................................................................

Yeah, uh...

One hour of awesome followed by...

Yeah.

Okay, fuck you science fiction writers: Science and technology is not evil.

The "noble savage", really? That's the best you could come up with?

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Epsilon

Fans of the webcomic Pibgorn will already have seen this. Those who aren't Pibgorn fans should be.



Posted in this forum because there's an odd not-quite-similarity to the situation....
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Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.