Can someone Cliff's Notes this movie for me? What on earth did I just watch?

Help?

Tamerlane? Body switching? Mosquitoes? People as juice boxes?

My head!

--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs

So, I suddenly had a plot bunny for Death Note that wouldn't leave me alone.

What if Light retained all his genius and planning skills... but instead of trying to create a "perfect world" with himself as god prefered to create
a "perfect hell" with himself as the equivalent of Satan?

So instead of targeting criminals, Light starts to target police officers, charity workers and other famous do-gooders and altruists. Sort of like "what
if Light saw the world the same way as Heath Ledger's joker did?" That is, his goal is to basically break the world, not destory it but to eliminate
"lies" like compassion and justice from the world?

---------------

Epsilon

John Updike has
died at age 76.
-----
Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.

Just finished doing my taxes, and all I can say is: God DAMN! I love H&R Block! Got a bigger refund than I was expecting, and so I've set aside
$1200 for a new computer. After looking around, iBuyPower seems to give me the best bang for my buck as far as basic boxes go... Anyone dealt with them
before? Know anybody better? All my periphrials are good, just need the basic box. This one's being held together by add-ons and hope, and it's time
for something new. All comments/thoughts welcome

-WFalling out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes

Waiting for the sunset to come, people going home

Jump out from behind them and shoot them in the head

Now everybody dancing the dance of the dead

So after reading Do Not Meddle In The Affair Of Wizards by Corwalch last night, thanks to Bob's update (thanks, by
the way), I remembered another Revenge!Harry fic that I had read some time ago. My Google-fu has failed me and my other search areas haven't panned out.
The gist of it was that Harry is imprisoned in Azakaban, acquires ungodly amounts of power, and goes on to wreak revenge on anyone who wronged him. The power
Harry acquired in this fic was decidely dark and his revenge far more physical. I do remember with some clarity one scene where when he visited the Dursleys
he turned them all into pigs and then set the house on fire with a remark about bacon. And maybe something involving a totally horrified Hagrid.

Any help would be appreciated and totally sweet. Cheers.

So my playtime has been, at best, messy - many chunks of AFK time, strange hours, and generally not focused on the game.

There's a good reason for that, actually. I just finished moving back in with my father, and Monday, jan 26th, he had his shoulder reconstruction surgery.

Things are going great on that front - he's healing as to be expected, and the drug effects are precisely as the doctor projected. Which means that
he's lucid, but not cool to drive (as if he could one-armed). Things will be improving again thursday when the nerve block comes out, and he's going to
be capable of showering.

the upshot of this is, even when I'm in-game, I've audio fairly low - 'cause any sort of disturbance from the rest of the house merits immediate
attention. So bear with me, and i'll try not to hold up the wheels of progress too terribly bad.
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

Hello all

I'm thinking of running a Citadel TF with Marcus, lv 30 WS on Saturday afternoon, around 4pm EST. We need 6 minimum above lv 25 and it seems to be all
council, all the time. Not a bad thing in my opinion. I like fighting Council.

The roster so far looks like this:

Marcus - confirmed

One of Rev's toons, unconfirmed, but I thought I'd save him a spot anyway.

One of Acyl's Toons - interested, unconfirmed

One of Shrike's Toons - interested, unconfirmed

Anyone else?

Tales of the Legendary
[A Hero Sandwich Production]
Gamma Emission: Staking a Claim

Ok, I'm finally getting around to writing down an idea that has been simmering on the back burner since Decay solidified into a solid voice in my head. For those of you that don't remember (or weren't around) I can point you to http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/topic/4468]here for the emotes, or you can bug me in game if you want to see the whole song and dance in person.
----------
When I first heard about my dimensional counterpart being taken in by our sister supergroup, I didn't think all that heavily on it. I'll admit I was curious at first, and some discrete questioning of a few of the sabers satisfied that urge.

She looked like me, sounded like me, had my same habit for minimalistic clothing. But her powers seemed to be focused around fire, with a side dish of radiation, rather than the straight up walking nuclear reactor that I was. And that was fine with me. I didn't have any reason to impose myself in her life. And if she wanted to talk to me, my communicator was on file with the Riot Force.

At least I didn't until now. Superball apparently couldn't resist sending me the video of her song and dance routine, along with a thinly veiled question about dressing up like a ninja to 'defend my honor'. Decay (calling her Lisa, even in my own head, just sounded too strange) had come up with a costume involving a lace body stocking, chains, and some discreetly positioned padlocks; and then she had ambushed Terr with a song about 'pirate treasure' and 'bursting locks'.

I wasn't worried about Terrance's reaction, even if he did blush rather spectacularly. I was worried about what would happen next if I didn't nip this in the butt.

Of course, by the time I had gotten the video Decay had signed off for the night. And calling her communicator to say "hi, don't do that again" doesn't have quite the same impact if your not there in person. But just because I couldn't look up her location on the base computer didn't mean I couldn't find her. It just meant that it would take a little more time. I left a note for Terr or Rhea if they got back before I did, and headed out.

My pub crawl started in Steel at a little before nine; it was almost midnight by the time I found her in a bar in Skyway.

A dive of a bar, unimaginatively called "The Underpass". One of the places I had found, and then quickly forgotten about during my own tour of the fine drinking establishments of Paragon. Decay sat in a corner booth nursing a beer and generally looking unhappy with the world. Apparently the places lax smoking policies, one of the things that turned me off of this place, was a positive from her side of things; she was smoking. Not a cigarette or cigar, thin tendrils rose off of the bare skin on her arms and chest to join the hazy miasma that gathered near the ceiling.

I recognized that slouch and expression. I had worn the pair of them often enough after a night of striking out. Which meant that descending on her like she had just attempted to lick Terrence's tonsils would not be productive. I sighed as I revised my plans and made a detour to the bar. I hated the fact that she could make me feel sympathetic just be looking like that. But I had been in the place she was for far too long before I had met Terrence. And I couldn't really fault her for having the same taste in men that I did.

Picking up two bottles of Damnation at the bar I made my way to her table. This was going to go one of two ways: Either I was going to be a sympathetic ear, in which case the 25 ounces of beer was only going to be the start. Or it was going to be a confrontation, in which case having a two pound blunt object in my hand would help to quickly end it.

She didn't notice me as I approached, but she did look up when I sat down and slid one of the bottles over to her. I was careful to keep my hand on my own bottle and make sure that she was in arms reach as I waited for her to recognize me. She glanced at me, the beer I had brought, then back at me, before a slightly confused expression crossed her face. "Why are you being nice to me?" she finally said with a slight slur.

I relaxed with a small sigh, sympathetic ear it was. "I'm being nice to you because I can remember a time, not that long ago, when I was in your position." I said, trying not to sound like I was pitying her. I wasn't, and I knew that this would be much easier if she didn't think I was. Being pitied while drunk was never something I took very well.

She took a pull from the bottle and made an appreciative noise. Then her expression soured a bit. "I doubt all the men ran away cause you would roast their wieners."

I suppressed a sigh of frustration and told myself that she was only angry because my successful relationship made her failures look all that much worse. "No, they ran away because I give new meaning to the term 'afterglow'. And none of them like the idea of permanently shooting blanks, or losing the family jewels to cancer." I said, keeping my voice as level as possible.

"Oh." She seemed to think about this for a min before adding "Sucks to be us huh?"

I sipped at my own beer before responding. "Yeah, It does suck. But poaching my boyfriend isn't going to help your situation any."

That got her attention. "I can appreciate where you are right now, and I can only imagine what seeing my own relationship does to make the problem worse. But you don't want to fight me on this." I said, making sure what I was saying was sinking in.

She looked at me for a few seconds before a sly smile spread on her face. "Why? Afraid you'll lose?" Her voice was sultry as she leaned forward. Apparently forgetting that her assets where the same size as my own.

"No, I'm afraid of what Ifrit would do to me after I send your throughly whooped ass to the hospital." I replied, smiling a slightly harder smile of my own. That popped her confidence. The smile leaving her face as she sat back in her seat and took another pull of the bottle to avoid looking at me.

I fought the impulse to bang my head against the table. But I couldn't quell the sigh that escaped my lips. "Look, I'm not here to fight you. I don't want to know how much property we would ruin in a fight. I came here hoping that I could help you." I said, trying to sound reasonable. "I know that life sucks right now, but trust me. You can find the right person out there for you. Have you talked to your Hero Corps liaison?"

"Why would I want to talk to them about this!" Decay said, her voice a little louder than strictly necessary, as she started to rise out of her seat.

"Because they can help?" I answered, putting a hand on her shoulder and pushing her back down. I slid around the table to sit next to her and lowered my voice a bit. "Look, they know everybody's powers right?" I said and waited for her to nod before continuing. "So they can tell you who it is safe to be around."

A look of slowly dawning comprehension spread across her face. But I had to throw in the same caveats that I had been warned against when I learned about it. "It's just a list of their registered names, no age, no sex, no idea if they are in a relationship or not, or even if they are looking for one. But it's a start." I warned, waiting until she looked at me to deliver the final warning. "And if you use that list for anything else than trying to find someone to be happy with, you pray that your liaison never finds out, because they will make your life hell."

The database the Hero Corps keeps on powers and abilities was never meant to be used as a dating service, but with a few discrete queries you an quickly get a list of people who it is safe to get into a relationship with. No guarantees on their current availability, or even preference. But it was start, even it if meant you had to keep your eyes out while on patrol. Problem was it wasn't something that was advertised, and most likely could never be, due to the privacy implications. Sometimes I wish I had known to ask my contact about it before I had gone on my multi-month bar crawl, but then I might not have met Terr, and that isn't worth thinking about for very long.

While Decay was mulling that over I went up to the bar and closed out her tab for the night. It was more than I expected, but less than some of my more spectacular nights, so I wasn't going to raise a fuss over it. The barman raised an eyebrow when I told him I was going to pay, but didn't say anything besides "Yer sisters a good kid, don't be too hard on her." I didn't bother correcting his misconception.

Decay was finishing the last of the beer when I got back to the table. "Come on, lets get you home." I said, hoping that she would at least remember some of what we had talked about in the morning.

She complied with only half hearted protests, and after throwing her arm over my shoulder we made our way out of the bar. Unfortunately the stairs onto the street proved a little to much for her coordination, and we both ended up sprawled on the sidewalk outside. I muttered under my breath as I got back to my feet, listening to Decay's more vitriolic utterances as she stayed on the concrete for a moment.

"Don't conk out on me now, we still need to get you home." I said pulling her back to her feet. The way Decay hung against my shoulder told me that walking home in her current state was not going to be fun. Fortunately I could cheat a bit. One deep breath and moment of concentration later we were both bathed in a carefully controlled stream of radiation. It took the edge off my buzz and made my body forget that it was now quarter to one. Decay stood up a little straighter with a surprised "ooh", followed by a breathy giggle and a "I can do that too."

I had half a second to connect the dots in my head before I was treated to a second dose. My beer buzz was reduced to a slight tingle, but it was joined by another one significantly lower. In addition to that, I now had a very warm curvy body pressed up against my own. I froze for a second as a Decay molded herself to my side. She most definitely didn't have a 'no molesting teammates' rule if her hands were any indication. She obviously was still feeling the alcohol, and I could only guess at the current state of her libido.

"Ok, now I know we need to get you home." I said taking half a step back.

Decay just smiled, but she did start to lead the way. Great. Why do I have the feeling that we have entirely different ideas about what is going to happen when we get there.

----------
Of course this is only the beginning. More to come soon.
-Terry
-----
"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
TF2: Spy

If you're brave enough, check this out...
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll

I found this among comments about the webcomic Pibgorn. The poet identifies himself/herself as "ccdesan."

THE CYBER TROLL by ccdesan

(with sincerest apologies to J.R.R. Tolkien)



Troll sat alone in his filthy home,

He had no reason outside to roam;

His pimply face was a sore disgrace

And friends were hard to come by.

Done by! Gum by!

In a filthy home he dwelt alone,

And friends were hard to come by.



He'd surf the net, always on the watch

For nasty pictures that would tickle his crotch

But the thing he loved best was to curse and swear

And act like a total retard.

Bombard! Blackguard!

He'd yank people's chains for laughs and lulz

And act like a total retard!



'Ha ha!', said Troll, 'I pwn your soul.

So why don't you shut your old cake hole?

Your posts are lame and I take control

Of your blog, you stupid loser!

Boozer! Schmoozer!

I can drool and spit and you can't do squat

'Cuz I'm safe from poor old loser!



But the folks whose paths he tends to cross

Have naught but contempt for this pile of dross

So they simply pretend that he isn't there

And Troll gets all the madder.

Sadder! Adder!

When poor old Troll doesn't get results

He just gets all the madder.



'For a couple o' pins', says Troll, and grins,

'I'll swear so much you'll think I'm twins.

I'll make you see you've got nothing on me

And your base belong to me now!

Hee now! See now!

I'm king of the world, bow down to me,

All your base belong to me now!



But just as he thought his victim was caught,

He found his hands had hold of naught.

The blogs were locked, and Troll was shocked

That everyone ignored him!

Bored him! Floored him!

He'd been dismissed, and was mighty pissed

That everyone ignored him!



But blacker than coal is the heart of Troll

Whose life is as barren as the Kansas dust bowl.

He'll just move on to greener fields

Where folks will rise to his baiting.

Hating! Grating!

Old Troll laughs, when he hears folks groan,

And he thinks he's won with his baiting.



But the folks who win, to Troll's chagrin

Are the ones who learn the rule herein;

Ignore the Troll with the heart of coal

And he'll quickly travel elsewhere!

Nose hair! Hot air!

His world's so sad, but we don't care

As long as he's flaming elsewhere!
-----
Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.