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Classicdrogn had a fic
E I E I O
While sorting notes he worote a scene
E I E I O
A scenelet here
And a fragment there
Here a line
There a scene
Everywhere a grammar clean...
Naruto-writing season is here again, it seems, and I split out my jumbled notes, guest-written segments, and message board saves for Team Explosive Youth into separate text files for each chapter... Some of them are suprisingly large. (15-20kb! Of course, this post is 11kb...) Naturally, this inspired quite a few scenelets as I fillied in gaps and such. Here's a couple of the most interesting, just to prove that this thing is not yet an ex-parrot:
First, from the Wave mission, where TXY subdued Zabusa with the Puppy-Dog Eyes kinjutsu, a scrap from the revised final confrontation:
Gatou: "Zabusa you bastard! Do you know how much money you've cost me!? Hiring a full team from Hidden Rain just to punish you and do the job you were hired for... even a devil is supposed to keep a contract! Heheheh... Of course, you were never going to get paid as I said, only in the steel blades of my men; perhaps you figured that out!"
Z: "Your history hiring nukenin and then disposing of them isn't unknown, it's true... You just never dared to reach as high as me. The only reason I accepted your offer in the first place... was that it seemed like it might be fun to kill your whole army when you tried the doublecross!"
Gatou's mocking sneer turned into a mask of rage, flushed red enough to make a try for the grimacing visage of a devil himself. "I'll show you that you can't just do as you please... Even one of the Mist's Seven Swords! You see... This ninja, has an even more legendary sword! Aoi! Kill these bastards and bring me their heads!"
At this, the leader of his cloaked squad looked up, face no longer hidden below the wide woven hat. His mouth was curled into a smile, but the cruel set of the blue-green eyes above was as cold and flat as the treacherous still water in the lee of an iceberg.
And then, Hinata uses the Ancient Leaf Passive-Agressive Style Final Technique, sacrificing a battle that has no meaning to her for an ultimate gain, in a flashback when Team Eight is sent on the Jump Festa 2004 mission to Hidden Waterfall... Which incidentally works much better in terms of staying in character, let alone continuity, with them instead of Team 7, at least once I give the kunoichi team mate a role in the final takedown.
Hinata asks Neji to help her train, because her father is too busy with Hanabi
Neji declaims about her destiny of weakness
Hinata bows deeply. "N-neji-niisan, perhaps it's true that... That I can't change enough t-to be a strong ninja... But ... I will not lose to my rival ... I can become that strong, at least! I b-beg you ... to help me become that strong!"
N: "For the heiress of the Main House, to bow and beg before a member of the Branch, truly you are a shameful person."
Hinata: "F-f-for the person I admire... I can do ... Even this..."
She kneels and bows to the ground. "Ano... I-I beg you, help me to change just that much, brother..."
Neji felt the cold certainty of his hatred for the Main House crack. *Was such a thing not what I dreamed of, to see the one who is weak, yet destined to high status by birth, humbled before me, who has talent but is chained to a fate of servitude?* It was his ultimate victory, so why did it seem like ashes in his mouth? Scowl deepening, he snapped, "Stand up, Hinata-sama... Even a failiure of the Hyuuga should not bow to anyone."
H: "I beg of you!"
N: "Stand, and take the Jyuuken's first stance. Even if your destiny is failiure, mine is still to serve the wish of the Main House. I will help you as you ask, untill you accept your destiny."
Hinata stood, and even his cynical heart couldn't feel contempt at the warmth in her pearly eyes, as he knew he should at the sight of such weakness. "Thank you, Neji-niisan. I kn-know that you ... W-won't fail to h-help me."
Later, just before sealing Stupid's tenketsu so he cooks himself with the Hero Water increased chakra:
"Neji-niisan..." she whispered to herself, "I have not accepted... a d-destiny of failiure." Then, louder, "A h-hero... is the one who w-will accept any pain for their im-important people. I w-won't let you look down on (Fraidycat-san)!"
This, it seems to me, turns the episode from a blandly pointless filler with post-Exam Naruto, mid-Exam Sakura, and pre-Exam Sasuke all at once into a Hinata character piece. Fraidycat-san, after all, seems a much better fit for drawing (granted, exaggerated) parrallels to her than Naruto, especially TXY Naruto.
And, I've slowly ground ahead on the home stretch of Search For Gero Sennin, I just have to get through the last three or four scenes - and having re-watched the Snow Princess movie paying special attention to the armors, I have a fair idea of how to run that. Further... sweet kami, that movie is just TAILOR MADE for messages about the Springtime of Youth, right down to the end scene where the giant holographic projection of Chibi-Yuki melts all the snow and brings a flowery meadow complete with butterflies into being by amplifying the warmth of the springtime of youth in a young girl's pure heart. YOSH! YUKI-HIME'S SPRINGTIME HAS BLOSSOMED AT LAST!! HER YOUTHFUL SPIRIT BRINGS WARMTH TO ALL OF SNOW COUNTRY!
Snippet from what I just finished there:
"Oh, you found a good turtle!" Gai enthused, leaning over to look closely. "Kamehorai, this is my daughter, Rikou, who has just learned to summon you! Tea-time is later, but for now please treat her kindly!"
"Ha-i a-ni-ki!" the tiny turtle sing-songed, more steam curling away lazily as Jiraya's jaw dropped lower and lower in shock and disbelief that anyone would call a summon that obviously young and weak useful. "Bye-bye, den!"
Naruto's not-quite-frog waved one chubby forepaw at her, before poofing away as well. Undismayed, the boy mustered as much energy as he could manage and struggled to his feet, asking, "So, so, what makes that turtle good? Kamehorai, right? Does she breathe a huge jet of steam to blow away enemies like a super Murasu no jutsu?"
At this, Gai laughed heartily, then accidentally flattened the blond with a cheerful slap on the shoulder. "Maybe someday, but for now she can produce a stream of fresh, boiling hot water for tea or instant noodles. You see, Kamehorai is a baby hot-springs turtle. She's super-handy when you can't light a fire to cook on a mission!"
Rikou nodded dutifully, but Naruto's eyes had gone all huge and sparkly at the thought. "You... you mean, Kamehorai-chan can... make ramen... anywhere... AT ANY TIME? AH, THAT'S TOTALLY THE GREATEST NINJUTSU EVER! STUPID ERO-SENNIN! I WANNA SUMMON TURTLES TOO!!"
For wider issues - Valles, is TGNH definitely dead? If so, I'll split off a bit more to conform to the current manga backstory reveals - though I quite like the idea of Yondaime being a rebel Mitarashi as previously proposed, so that much I may keep by author fiat. If it turns out he was supposed to have some yet-unseen kekkai genkai... Meh. It's not like I won't have changed enough othe stuff just because I didn't like it, such as, oh, killing Orochimaru early and not having Sasuke defect just because that dragged-out plot pissed me off. (insert Hoshigake-worthy grin here). Unless it's important to the canon plot in ays too difficult to replace, I'll ignore canon entirely Wrt Naruto's parentage, though having Yondaime's wife from Whirlpool instead of Mist doesn't seem like too much of a stretch. Thoughts?
Also, were you going to write a Neshan-vs.-Kabuto fight for the repulsed invasion, or should I just crib from N vs. Jigoku-no-Sakura (minus the Heavenly Gate bound jutsu and Shunshin) and Kabuto vs. Shizune/Tsunade?
For that matter, Shikenenai was going to be with him on that, and possibly Haruno Ichimaru (Sakura's eldest brother, ANBU jonin/squad leader, can do jutsu motionless/silent or two similtaneously due to Inner Ichimaru sealing, has a cat mask) for additional support - Drakensis, anything to add? Nobegami being at the chuunin/high chuunin level, I imagine he cant pull off the same kind of freaky Jonin-plus stuff the Akatsuki paper-user does, but anything Yomiko Readman might do should be fair game, right?
Whoa, now there's a crossover image - the Royal British Library group vs. the rouge I-jin known as Akatsuki...
Griever: I added a tag-end to the scene you provided for a Chuunin Finals intermission, with Katsu, Mako, and Zabusa. To whit:
(snippage)
"Ah," Katsu smiled, this time over the rim of the hitai-ite latch. "But I want her to survive and _win_."
"... We'll see what happens. The Leaf Council is still arguing about me... but a few tips couldn't hurt."
The young medic-nin poked her head in behind them then to say, "Please forgive the intrusion, but it's time for Mina's match, Sensei."
"Ah? How did the Nara's match end?"
"He eventually maneuvered that Sand girl into a position where he could catch her by suprise with the same shadow jutsu he used on me in the preliminaries and had her under control... then he forfeited, because he was out of stamina."
"Hmm. Analysis?"
"If he'd had a team with him, she'd have been finished." Ami replied. She'd obviously been thinking it over already - as he'd expect of her. "If she'd pushed an agressive assault from the beginning instead of trying for a psychological edge, or hadn't hesitated when he pulled back to think, she could have won it. If I was going to fight him again, heavy Kirigakure so there aren't any shadows to use, then don't give him time to strategise. I carry lots of extra senbon and train enough in reduced visibility conditions to compensate, but the shadow thing seems to be his only advanced technique."
Katsu simply nodded before concluding the conversation, "I suppose Mina wouldn't forgive me if I missed her bout, so let's get back to the stands. Are you sure you don't want to cover back up, Mako?"
"Anyone who pays attention will know who I am as soon as my name is announced, and we knew I'd probably need to stop witholding my ninjutsu for the finals anyway. Besides, if some fluffy Leaf kunoichi tries to put me in a headlock this time, I don't want to have to bite through the bandages. Do you know how annoying it is trying to pick gauze out of teeth this sharp?"
"I hear that," Zabusa commented, before growling at the looks he got in reply. "Just because mine are filed instead of hereditary, you think these bandages don't get caught? It's a valuable edge literally and for intimidation, but any technique has limits."
---=- + -=---
Comments? Revisions? Mako's match would have been with Usagi, but Naruto/Gaara comes first and the invasion kicks off early during it. When Serenity-Usa pulls out Hijutsu: (full moon shines through the gate) no Jutsu she goes very pale and mutters, "I was going to fight... THAT?" Oh, and for the prelims she had only her personal name entered to appear on the scoreboard for matches, but for the finals tournement they want the full thing for the benefit of visiting noteables as well as the promotion board.
I do realise tZabusa's comment rather breaks the mood, but that is in fact intentional on his part - he's a master of psychological warfare as well as silent killing, after all, and creating the impression that he's as competent as his reputation but not totally a bad guy is a move to make the Leaf less likely to hand him over to the Mist, or just kick him out, since retrieving the Raijin-ken seems to have only left them undecided, at least about the latter.
- CD
SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
For the next 72 hours, Itachi intoned, I will slap you with this trout. - Spying no Jutsu, chapter 3
"In the futuristic taco bell of the year 20XX, justice wears an aluminum sombrero!"hemlock-martini
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"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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