made a 4chan music video, if you don't know what 4chan is, and the thought of getting slammed upside the head with a 14 pound lemon wrapped in gold bricks doesn't amuse you, don't download.
http://rapidshare.de/files/28742165/4chan.avi.htmlWire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979

Around Harry's fifth birthday I think, with the snake incident, Vernon didn't just get purple in the face, he had a heart attack and had to be resusicated (-tated? I can't rmember exactly). Anyway, in the wake of that and after some stern talking to's by his doctor, the Dursleys became "health nuts" - in the ways popular during the mid-80s, not anything abnormal you understand - eating the latest fad health food and using the latest fad excercise machines and taking the latest holistic herbal supplements, because it's natural you know - do that freak boy some good to have something natural in him, even if it's just those plants and things. No need to buy those expensive pre-made capsules, sugarplum, just get it in bulk and the boy can divide it up! See, even his freakish underdeveloped fram is filling un a bit with natural things, and just look at how strong and fit our Dudders is with all this healthy food and excercise!
So, yeah, health fad Dursleys. Except that neither Vernon nor Dudley really have the willpower to not eat all the same junk food as snacks that isn't part of their meals, not that Dudley ever tried, and the only one who does more than two sessions on any particular machine (even after they get relegated to the second carport of the garage rather than proudly displayed in the living room, when the next one comes along) is Harry, who gets assigned workouts to "sweat that freakishness out of you!" whenever something odd happens. Well, after finally being let out of the cupboard, that is.
So anyway, eleventh birthday, letters, shack, giant, Diagon... Harry can barely manage a few fitful sparks, even from the pheonix wand. Sorting, classes... he can haedly do magic at all, to the point that there's rumors Voldemort blasted the magic out of him as a baby and now he's nothing but a squib, who shouldn't even be in Hogwarts... the exception is that he's an ace for Potions. Drives Sniv right up tthe wall... the arrogant brat seems to have completely memorized the first year text, and a few extra besides, and regards it as just a continuation of the muggle herbalism he's been doing for years only with a few new ingredients, and blast the little snot it seems to WORK! PERFECTLY! Even the things that need a good strong magical field from the brewer to come out properly... it's enough to make his lips chafe from grinding his teeth!
So, Halloween, troll in the dungeons, bathroom... we've seen that this Harry is in pretty could shape, but now he's on an adrenaline rush, and... why is he glowing? Yes, distracted the troll from Ms. Bossy-britches, now what Harry? HARRY! YOU CAN'T JUST PUNCH--
krak-KRACK THWAMM!! pitterpatterthud-thud...
The first crack is a shockwave as his fist breaks the sound barrier., The second is a hydrostatic shock as his fist breaks half a dozen troll ribs. The "thwam" is the troll, as it breaks through the stone wall and impacts the far wall of the room beyond. The pitter patter is crumbling masonry falling out of the new hole. The first thud is the troll falling over as its body realises it needed those internal organs and stops working, the second is Harry, completely magically exhausted and nigh to death if he hadn't been promptly seen to.
Dumbledore explains, now, his suspiscions that something like this might be the case - an Adeptus hasn't been seen in centuries, but there it is, he's a mage who's powers have concentrated in his body rather than being amenable to most external use - indeed, one fo the noteable qualities of Adeptus wizards as recorded is an unusual degree of spell resistance, so perhaps it was inevitable that the only person to survive the killing curse would be one. (Normal wizards and witches are Magus type)
Looking forward - Basilisk? No problem. Dementors? Um... yeah. a potion or two to mitigate the psychological effects, but unless one of his freinds steps up to the Patronus plate there's going to be Scooby Doo meets Call of Ctulhu level running away. Dragon? Well, there won't be any spectacular charm and hence no broom, but Harry's plenty quick on his own, and dragonfire is magic, after all. Underwater adventures were beaten by herbology/potions in canon, no persperation there. Maze foll of critters, pfft, controlled Krum gets a sock to the jaw while chanting and waving his lil' stick, then... Voldie.
Here's the sticking point, because this Harry's first impulse is NEVER going to be to go for his wand in a fight, and even if he did he can barely manage utility chanrms so out-powering even a newly reborn Voldy is not an option, if thebrother wands effect happened at all... and reborn Voldie even after Peter's reports on the boy is probably not really beleiving the kind of physical fight he can put up, nor strong enough to resist himself much...
Would seeing their terrifying boss get schooled by a bare-chinned boy be enough to shock his minions into immobility? Would not at least Snape, expecting nothing but trouble from a Potter, be able to get off a curse that would break through the brat's resistance? (Don't even bother trying to tell me he's really a good guy, at the best he's looking out for himself first and siding with whoever will give him the most - and being shut of Potters is surely a fine incentive to him.)
From there of course things would be hopelessly changed from canon, not least in Harry being able to to tell Draco, when threatened with dire retribution upon the Dark Lord's inevitable victory, that "Voldemort's a ruddy wimp! My muggle cousin could put him out like a candle!" - because of course, even though he realises how much stronger he's gotten channeling magic through himself he doesn't really understand it emotionally, and Dudley's always been able to knock Harry around if he can catch him.
Ano... and Umbridge falls through a phantom step at the top of the Great Hall stairs and falls into a coma on her second day in Hogwarts, hurrying after becoming late for her own class berating him for running in the halls, or something, so some other slightly more competent person has to fill in for DADA - one of the aurors who's solidly a Fudge man, perhaps, or Weatherby, and even though his magic resistance helps some Harry still sucks hard at Occlumency so he's stil got the vision thing...
All my crystal ball shows is song lyrics now. Specifically, Vision Thing by Sisters of Mercy, which really isn't pertinent at this time. So, I guess I'll have to stop rambling on.
- CDSERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
A kung-fu nun in a leather thong was no less extreme than anything else he had seen that day. - Rev. Dark's IST: Holy Sea World
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

A Mary Sue Alphabet
For Harry Potter

By Irony-Chan

A's for Amanda
Our hero's twin sister
Got lost as a baby
And gosh, how he missed her
He always suspected
He had a half lacking
He set off to find her
By magical tracking
So now they're together
And smiling a lot
Too bad that the story's
Got no trace of plot
-:-
B is for Bridget
Who's named for the author
She could have been subtle
But just didn't bother
Yet somehow I doubt
That the writer's a d-cup
Or sings like an angel
With nary a hiccup
Or doesn't need glasses
Or looks like a hottie
Or ever will earn
Her black belt in karate
-:-
C is for Clementine
Good on a broom
The fastest of flyers
Just look at her zoom!
The new school all-star
She aims like a dream
They haven't lost once yet
Since Clem made the team!
But the other side's jealous
And might not play fair
Will they cheat 'til she loses?
... does anyone care?
-:-
D's for Diana
Her story's a wreck!
With no sign of grammar
Or any spell-check
The readers sent email
To justly complain
But all of their efforts
Turned out to be vain
The author replied with:
"Who cares how it's written?
"It's only a fanfic!
"You're mean, and kick kittens!"
-:-
E is for Elwen
An elf in her glory!
Who seems unware
That she's in the wrong story
Like all of her people
She's comely and wise
The hardest heart melts
At her come-hither eyes
But how did she get here?
There aren't any clues
And the author won't tell
'Til she gets more reviews
-:-
F for Furiko
Who came from the East
Her father's a magical
Shrinekeeper priest
She brought her katana
And swings it with ease
And she'll say 'onegai'
Instead of just 'please'
Each chapter begins with
A guide to the phrases
And thanks the reviewers
For singing her praises
-:-
G is for Georgia
Likes watching TV
Replaying the movie
Upon DVD
'Til one day by magic
The screen opened wide
Before Georgia knew it
It sucked her inside!
Now she'll save the hero
By hook or by crook
She knows all the future
'Cause she's read the book
-:-
H starts the name
Of a girl called Heather
An element witch
Who can magic the weather
A sunshiny day
Means she's merry and glad
But thunder and snowstorms
Show up when she's mad
And should she be sleeping
And having strange dreams...
I suppose that might be why
It's raining sardines
-:-
I for Isolda
Who's nasty and mean
The worst evil sorceress
You've ever seen
The Dark Lord is naught but
Her grovelling bitch
No-one out-evils
This black little witch!
It runs in her family
Right down in her roots
But without a good beta
Her plots become ploots
-:-
J is for Janviere
Frozen and cold
A silent immortal
A thousand years old
Ever since she discovered
The Sorcerer's Stone
There have been none to love her
She wanders alone
Her tale is tragic
With no-one to tell
Where she hid the body
Of Nicolas Flamel
-:-
K is for Kimberly
Nothing but trouble
There's chaos a boiling
In her cauldron's bubble
The girl's a genius
Her pranks are the best!
But all of the teachers
They think she's a pest
Four times in a row
She's been kicked out of school
To let her in here
The headmaster's a fool
-:-
L for Lorraina
The heir to three thrones
She dresses in ballgowns
And wears precious stones
But deep in her heart
She's so royally lonely
She longs for a prince
To love her and her only
She wants to be treated
Like all other girls
Perhaps if she'd dump
The tiara and pearls
-:-
M is for Madysonne
Fresh from the states!
Like totally awesome
This chica, she rates!
She brought with her all of
Her favourite CD's
And might let you listen
If you just say please
She's spreading the music
As far as she can
And somehow I'm guessing
The author's a fan
-:-
N is for Naoko
In space she has dwelt
Her real name's Sailor
Asteroid Belt
A student by day
Vigilante by night
A short-skirted soldier
In crimson and white!
But what will she do when
Her secret's discovered?
Why, sex up the hero
And make him her lover!
-:-
O for Ophelia
The evil guy's daughter
Her life is so awful
Her tears flow like water
Her husband's been chosen
By father and mother
But her heart already
Belongs to another
Oh woe! And oh angst!
Yeah, it's piled on thick
And most of the readers
Are gonna be sick
-:-
P is for Paris
Just swimming in prose!
Her lips weren't pink only
They bloomed like a rose!
Like wheat in the sunshine
The gold of her hair
Her eyes, how they sparkled
As clear as the air!
Her skin was as white
As the robe of a saint
And it's that lack of iron
Keeps making her faint
-:-
Q is for Qing
She's the Chinese exchange
Her manners are foreign
Her habits are strange
She's odd and exotic
She dresses in silk
Eats rice for her breakfast
And never drinks milk
A stereotype walking
On feet bound up small
The author did clearly
No research at all
-:-
R for Rhiannon
Got brought up by a pack
Of wolves in the wild
One would think that she'd lack
For poise and good manners
But she's got 'em in spades
Perhaps that is how
Every she-wolf behaves
There's only one chapter
But quite clear to see
That poor helpless werewolf
Will get paired with she
-:-
S for Serena
Who changes her form
When she wants she can become
A white unicorn
Both tigers and eagles
Are shapes she can take
A big golden dragon
A small silver snake
A galloping mustang
A peacock of blue
The woman's a one-person
Portable zoo
-:-
T is for Tracey
The coolest of cool
Most popular chick
At her old wizard school
But here things are different
She's all but unseen
The others don't like her
And everyone's mean
It's all 'bout the in-crowd
And the reader infers
That in the end Trace
Will say vengeance is hers
-:-
U is for Umbra
Which isn't a name
But in the end really
There's worse stuff to blame:
Her surname is either
'MacKay' or 'MacBride'
The story says both
It can't seem to decide
That's about as much sense
As this fic ever makes
Especially since it lacks
Paragraph breaks
-:-
V for 'Virginia'
Who used to be canon
'Til one day along came
A writer named Shannon
Now Gin's into cutting
And punk-rocker bands
And writes poems 'bout the pain
That no-one understands
But her parents don't worry
To any degree
Because just like their daughter
They're both OOC
-:-
W stands for
One Wendover Sable
She started off Sue-some
Right out of the cradle
The poor foundling baby
Was given a home
By snobby, rich wizards
Brought her up like their own
And should any point out
That this ain't realistic
Just watch as the author
Goes fully ballistic
-:-
X is for Xanthe
Who isn't a Sue
Like any good character
She's got flaws, too
Her hair isn't curly!
Her nails she bites!
She's scared of the dark
When she turns out the lights!
So many things
That could get in the way...
But they'll never stop Xanthe
From saving the day
-:-
Y is for Yarrow
Who's better than teacher
At seeing tomorrow
In every small feature
In fact, she's so good
That she tutors the classes
And with her instructing
All students get passes
Yet when she predicts ruin
Woe is her - no one hears!
So much for the love
And respect of her peers
-:-
Z is for Zuli
Her name is Zuliekha
But she keeps it short 'cause
That's tough on the speaker
She sings and she dances!
She's mastered disguise!
She chit-chats with snakes!
She makes Julienne fries!
The reader is torn
Between laughter and gaping
Spoofs shouldn't be worse
Than the things that they're aping

Trying to find a particular picture I'd photoshopped to use as an example over in Politics (and failing) I did find an archive what what was once upon a time (last century sometime) on a Geocities web page I called my own - it was removed during the flap about their terms of use change that could be interpreted to give them ownership of any hosted materials in perpetuity, and I never put it up anywhere else. Granted, a lot of it is kind of crap art by my current standards, but I still stand by the image of the TF landing on the moon as one of my best photoshops (not for the composting, not for the spotlight - go ahead and spot the part I hand-painted) along with the one standing in a river.
I draw particular note to RabBot as well, not on grounds of artistic merit, but because it's funny, and to a couple of old written pieces as well, both of which ended up getting turned in as projects in high school IIRC.
They're about the only things worth rmemebering from HS, actually. Well, maybe one other thing... anyone know how to translate "The killer fatass with power like a rocket" into properly boastful slang Japanese? The other happy HS memory was picking up a guy who was annoying me and throwing him across the room... I could look up the WORDS myself, but mechanical translations are notoriously bad at anything from phrases on up, let alone idiomatic language.
- CD is picturing a GTO/Gaijin Smash! moment
ETA: Duh... new link to older than old stuff
ETA2: Is it funny or sad that I'm rereading old chat logs from the same set of forgotten subdirectories and laughing my ass off?SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
A kung-fu nun in a leather thong was no less extreme than anything else he had seen that day. - Rev. Dark's IST: Holy Sea World
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

This was in one of my security news letters.
They are warning information technology people to get their guard up and watch out for stray shots and collateral damage from the internet cyber war that is going strong between Israel and the Hezzbolla and thier backers.
Apparantly the cyber war has extended beyond the local computers and internet with IDF hackers taking out Hezzbolla websites and Hezzbolla hackers attacking Israel's cyber assets and the internet in Israel.
Several civilian satellites being used by the Hezzbolla have been hacked by the IDF.
blogs.ittoolbox.com/secur...-war-10962
www.dailytech.com/article...ewsid=3589
howard melton

*/ Aretha Franklin, "Respect", 2:29 /*
(oo) What you want
(oo) Baby, I got
(oo) What you need
(oo) Do you know I got it?
(oo) All I'm askin'
(oo) Is for a little respect when you come home (just a little bit)
Hey baby (just a little bit) when you get home
(just a little bit) mister (just a little bit)
I ain't gonna do you wrong while you're gone
Ain't gonna do you wrong (oo) 'cause I don't wanna (oo)
All I'm askin' (oo)
Is for a little respect when you come home (just a little bit)
Baby (just a little bit) when you get home (just a little bit)
Yeah (just a little bit)
I'm about to give you all of my money
And all I'm askin' in return, honey
Is to give me my profits
When you get home (just a, just a, just a, just a)
Yeah baby (just a, just a, just a, just a)
When you get home (just a little bit)
Yeah (just a little bit)
------ instrumental break ------
Ooo, your kisses (oo)
Sweeter than honey (oo)
And guess what? (oo)
So is my money (oo)
All I want you to do (oo) for me
Is give it to me when you get home (re, re, re ,re)
Yeah baby (re, re, re ,re)
Whip it to me (respect, just a little bit)
When you get home, now (just a little bit)
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Take care, TCB
Oh (sock it to me, sock it to me,
sock it to me, sock it to me)
A little respect (sock it to me, sock it to me,
sock it to me, sock it to me)
Whoa, babe (just a little bit)
A little respect (just a little bit)
I get tired (just a little bit)
Keep on tryin' (just a little bit)
You're runnin' out of foolin' (just a little bit)
And I ain't lyin' (just a little bit)
(re, re, re, re) 'spect
When you come home (re, re, re ,re)
Or you might walk in (respect, just a little bit)
And find out I'm gone (just a little bit)
I got to have (just a little bit)
A little respect (just a little bit)

Kind of ovbious, really. Anybody (maybe just any male) in AOE, upon looking at Doug, will know the caliber of deed that he's been responsible for (moral alignment, difficulty, and scope- no specifics), and will treat him accordingly for the duration. In other words, they'll give him the respect he deserves.
Might be fun to use "I'll Play For You" with this, and target it on a villain, so that everybody in a certain distance would know just how little to respect (and, therefore, how much to fold, spindle, and/or mutilate) him...Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines...

From the UK Daily Mail

Quote:

---

After months of being taunted by a gang of yobs, grandmother Diane Bond finally stood up to them when she was abused while walking her pet dog. During a torrent of foul-mouthed abuse, the frail 64-year-old prodded the teenager ringleader gently in the stomach when he urged her to Hit me, if you dare.
Moments later, the 5ft 1ins pensioner found herself flat on her back and nursing a broken arm after the 15-year-old boy, who was 7 inches taller, pushed her to the ground. But to add insult to injury, police officers arrested her for assaulting a child after his mother moaned he had been attacked.

---

Look at the Macross SEED thread! We've been spammed!
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll

What do you think of manipulating news photos?
I can see digital enhancements such as noise filters, edge detection or enlargeing the area of importance, but increasing the amount of smoke and damage by adding cloned elements back into the picture?
/QUOTE/
Reuters withdraws photograph of Beirut after Air Force attack after US blogs, photographers point out blatant evidence of manipulation
/END QUOTE/
here is the website where the above quote came from it also has the picture that was being sent world wide by Reuters.
www.judeoscope.ca/breve.p...breve=2227
howard melton

All of us can. Because My Immortal is the fanfic that pretty much renders all others redundant and pointless.
Over 2700 reviews? Who can hope to match that?