To temporarily deflate your local Doctor Doom clone's megalomania, I give you:
National Lampoon's "Deteriorata."
Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself,
And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss and when.
Consider that two wrongs never make a right,
But that three lefts do.
Wherever possible put people on "HOLD".
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
Remember the Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you;
That lemon on your left for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls,
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face.
Carefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan,
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
For a good time, call 606-4311.
Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog
Is finally getting enough cheese;
And reflect that whatever fortunes may be your lot,
It could only be worse in Sioux City.
You are a fluke of the Universe.
You have no right to be here.
And, whether you can hear it or not,
The Universe is laughing behind your back.
Therefore make peace with your God whatever you conceive him to be,
Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal,
The world continues to deteriorate.
Give up.
-----
(of course, once the song shuts down, you've got a very -angry- megalomaniac on your hands. But what's one more Hunted?)
--Sam
"I will now lower you into my pit of man-eating alligators and cows!"

"Shot through the heart/and you're to blame" Bon Jovi - Shot Through the Heart -- Either very good (bow and arrows that don't miss) or very bad (the -enemy- can't miss)
"Just got paid today/Got me a pocket full of change" ZZ Top - Just Got Paid -- Well, all those coins that dissapear into the couch cusions have to go -somewhere-
Aladdin Soundtrack - One Jump Ahead -- Whoever's chasing Doug can't catch up (probably with appropriate slapstick style SPFX). Drawback? Once he's used this, The Law Is Not His Friend (for the rest of the day)
"Left right left/we all fall down like toy soldiers" Martika - Toy Soldiers -- Doug can knock down anyone in his area of affect at will (and -no- -one- therin can bend their knees or elbows)
"After midnight/we're gonna let it all hang down" ? - After Midnight -- metasong that resets Doug's 'songs used' list, with itself added as the first item on the new list.
"Thirty minutes to alter our life/Thirty minutes a moment in time" Tatu - Thirty Minutes -- implants a suggestion in the mind of everyone in Doug's area of affect that compels them to make a decision about whatever issue they were least decided on at the end of a thirty minute period, determined from the beginning of the song, and -stick to it-, permanently.
"I walk 47 miles of barbed wire/I got a cobra snake for a necktie" George Thoroughgood - Who Do You Love -- Doug is One Tough Bastard! For four minutes and twenty seconds, anyway. Half all incoming damage.
"I don't care/I'm still free/you can't take the sky from me" Joss Whedon - Theme from Firefly -- metasong. The next flight song Doug uses lasts indefinitely, only ceasing when he applys a new song. This includes I'm a Pioneer.
"This year - is gonna be incredible/This year - is gonna be the one" Chantal Kreviazuk - This Year -- precognition, out as far as however far it is to next Jan 1. But only the good things, not the bad ones (except by deduction).
"breathe into me and make me real/bring me to life" Evanescence - Bring Me to Life -- Well, there's the obvious. Limit that to major healing and the same sort of thing that an emergency room could do (it's a magic defibrilator!), since we've already go Twist of Fate. Alternately, it occurs to me that this could be of use at a certain point in the DW VI plotline.
"You better leave your lights on/'Cause there's a monster" Santana - Leave Your Lights On -- a shining light of hope and optimism, for when things are bleakest and the night is darkest. Not sure about a game effect, but it's a nice thought, no?
And that's the end of my current "New Files" playlist. Enjoy.
Blessed be.
-n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

A new piece of DW artwork by Dave Menard has been added to the Gallery page. Enjoy.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

In the past 24 hours, Dave Menard has sent me two new pieces of DW artwork. I've posted the first of these to the gallery page on my website (www.eclipse.net/~rms/dwgallry.html); the second will go up soon, I hope, depending on some final approval from a third party.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

I don't know if Doug's Metatalent will work this way, but I have a song that could have 2 different effects depending on the situation it is used in: Jackson Brown's "Stay".
If played on its own, it will keep people from fleeing the area of effect and/or will "hold" people. If played at the end of another song, it will extend the effect of the first song until Stay finishes. Used in the second way, it is a "Meta-Song" along the lines of "I'll Play For You".
This brings up the question of other Meta-Songs for Doug. I think that ELP's "Karn Evil 9" might be usable to extend an effect indefinitely - until Doug uses another Song...
Offsides
Drunkard's Walk Forum Moderator and Prereader At Large

The Loon is having a very very very bad day.
This isn't a good place to be if you're an out-of-towner. It's not even good for the -natives-, but if they knew Doug's true nature... well, they'd probably misinterpret it, but even if not he'd be in horrible danger.
Then again, he's in horrible danger NOW.
With extremely careful use of Lightning's Hand, he's managed to forge a local identity--not high enough social status to draw attention, but not low enough to be casually killed. He hopes. Further use of LH is not a good idea--with the (literally) insane tech level, it'd get noticed. It may have BEEN noticed.
It can't last. Sooner or later, someone will catch on and THEY will be after him. Who's THEY? Who isn't?
And it's such a damned hideous world, too. Danger is everywhere, everyone is afraid of everyone else, and disregard for human life isn't just standard--it's practically mandatory. Many things are mandatory around here, but that one sticks out.
And the worst part--the absolute ultimate WORST part--
--Doug's pretty sure that if he saw this world from Outside, as a movie or a game or something, he'd be laughing his ass off. But from down here in the corridors, it isn't funny at all.
Someone's probably laughing at him right now...
He's got to find a gate song fast, before this place gets under his skin and never -ever- leaves.
Because Citizen Loon-Y-TNS-1 is developing a classic case of... PARANOIA.
Stay alert.
Trust no one.
Keep your helmet handy.
--Sam
"Isn't it nice...? Isn't it keen...? Living in Complexes run by... machines..."

Not sure if this is appropriate . . .
Okay, my computer recently went kerblooey and much of my mp3s are lost. I'm trying to rebuild my library, but, well, anyway
There's this one particular song that I *know* but it's slipping from my mind completely. And it's happened before with this same song. I love but something about it makes me want to forget it.
Anyway, it's classic rock, I guess. Sometime from the seventies, probably.
It begins with an instrumental, no words, sounds a bit like a violin or at least some stringed instrument. This goes on for a little bit, then goes into the main part, which is very different from the beginning. The only lyrics that I kind of remember are "take a dive" and "take a fall" or possibly "taking a dive". Not sure if it's "I'm not taking a dive" but . . . well.
I hope you can help. I know it's not much, but, god, my brain is going to curdle if I don't know what this song is.
-murmur the fallen
who, everytime he tries to think about this song, keeps on tuning into a memory of "Still the Same." Curse you, Bob Seger!

FYI bob, for some reason hosted scripts isn't doing its script thing. When I loaded the page, it paused for a looong time trying to transfer data from HS, but I never did get a quote.
Of course, It could just be a temp thing, but it's something to check on later..."I was an Otaku before those kids came along and changed the meaning of the word."
-- HM "Howling Mad" Wilson to more than one team-mate.
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children

"Elvis is Everywhere" by Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper:
When I look out into your eyes out there,
When I look out into your faces,
You know what I see?
I see a little bit of Elvis
In each and every one of you out there.
Let me tell you.
Wellllllll...
Elvis is everywhere,
Elvis is everything,
Elvis is everybody,
Elvis is still the King.
Man oh man What I want you to see
Is that the big E's
Inside of you and me
Elvis is everywhere, man!
He's in everything.
He's in everybody.
Elvis is in your jeans.
He's in your cheesburgers.
Elvis is in Nutty Buddies!
Elvis is in your mom!
He's in everybody.
He's in the young, the old,
the fat, the skinny,
the white, the black
the brown and the blue
people got Elvis in them too.
Elvis is in everybody out there.
Everybody's got Elvis in them.
Everybody except one person that is,
Yeah, one person!
The evil opposite of Elvis,
The Anti-Elvis!
Anti-Elvis got no Elvis in him,
lemme tell ya.
Michael J. Fox has no Elvis in him.
And Elvis is in Joan Rivers
but he's trying to get out, man! He's trying to get out!
Listen up Joanie Baby!
Elvis is everywhere,
Elvis is everything,
Elvis is everybody,
Elvis is still the King.
Man oh man
What I want you to see
Is that the big E's
Inside of you and me
Man, there's a lot of unexplained phenomenon
out there in the world.
Lot of things people say
What the heck's going on?
Let me tell you!
Who built the pyramids?
ELVIS!
Who built Stonehenge?
ELVIS!
Yeah, man you see guys walking down the street
pushing shopping carts,
and you think they're talking to Allah,
they're talking to themselves.
Man, no they're talking to ELVIS!
ELVIS! ELVIS!
You know whats going on in that Bermuda Triangle?
Down in the Bermuda Triangle?
Elvis needs boats.
Elvis needs boats.
Elvis Elvis Elvis
Elvis Elvis Elvis
Elvis needs boats.
Aahh! The Sailing Elvis!
Captain Elvis!
Commodore Elvis it is!
Yeah man, you know people from outer space,
people from outer space they come up to me.
They don't look like like Doctor Spock.
They don't look like Klingons,
all that Star Trek jive.
They look like Elvis.
ELVIS!
Everybody in outer space looks like Elvis.
Cause Elvis is a perfect being.
We are all moving in perfect peace and harmony towards Elvisness
Soon all will become Elvis.
Everything everywhere will be Elvis.
Why do you think they call it evolution anyway?
It's really Elvislution!
Elvislution!
Elvis is everywhere
Elvis is everything
Elvis is everybody
Elvis is still the King.
Man oh man What I want you to see
Is that the big E's Inside of you and me.
That's right ladies and gentlemen,
The time has come!
Time has come to talk
To that little bit of Elvis inside of you.
Talk to it!
Call it up!
Say "Elvis, heal me!"
"Save me, Elvis!"
"Make me be born again in the perfect Elvis light."
That's right!
You've got that Elvis inside of you
and he's talkin to you.
He says he wants you to sing!
Everybody's got to sing like the king!
Like the king
Get that leg going now
Get your lip too.
Not no fool Billy Idol lip either.
Everybody!
Yeah, we're rockin' now!
Elvis is with us.
He's with us and he's speaking to us.
He says "Peoples!"
"Peoples!"
"Everybody!"
"Everybody got to sing!"
Elvis is everywhere
Elvis is everything
Elvis is everybody
Elvis is still the King.
Man oh man What I want you to see
Is that the big E's
Inside of you and me.
Elvis is everywhere
Elvis is everything
Elvis is everybody
Elvis is still the King.
Man oh man What I want you to see
Is that the big E's
Inside of you and me.
Elvis!
---
(whoo)
...suggestion: turns everybody in an amusingly wide area around Doug -into Elvis-. They're still themselves, memories, powers, etc., just filtered through Elvisness...
Relative body mass determines whether you get Classic or Bloated.
Possible side effects would include the random appearance of ships and boats.
Do NOT play this song near Michael J. Fox or Joan Rivers--or Donny Osmond, come to that.
...and if the/an actual Elvis was within earshot, he'd probably -transcend- or something...
--Sam Ashley
"In the north, they call us Those Two Goddamn American Singers. In the south, we are known as Los Cucarachas de Utah. In the west, we are Donny and Marie."
"What about the East?"
"To the East we go not."
"...but this -is- the East."
"Well, we'll be leaving soon."

Speaking of which, that's a linguistic construct that is just too different not to be cool.
Anyway, I've been rereading my sister's Potters, and had a couple of thoughts:
-Hermione's House Elf Protection Front gets faculty backing.
-Snape's home envionment resembles the Dursleys, only not so forgiving. He hated the senior Potter as much because fate seemed to hand him everything Severus had to slave for as for any other reason.
-Snape is, in fact, posessed of a great deal of personal courage.
-And I cannot, under any circumstances, see Doug -not- having fun with the anacronym D.A.D.A. Probably as a running joke.
Blessed be.
-n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."