"Elvis is Everywhere" by Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper:
When I look out into your eyes out there,
When I look out into your faces,
You know what I see?
I see a little bit of Elvis
In each and every one of you out there.
Let me tell you.
Wellllllll...
Elvis is everywhere,
Elvis is everything,
Elvis is everybody,
Elvis is still the King.
Man oh man What I want you to see
Is that the big E's
Inside of you and me
Elvis is everywhere, man!
He's in everything.
He's in everybody.
Elvis is in your jeans.
He's in your cheesburgers.
Elvis is in Nutty Buddies!
Elvis is in your mom!
He's in everybody.
He's in the young, the old,
the fat, the skinny,
the white, the black
the brown and the blue
people got Elvis in them too.
Elvis is in everybody out there.
Everybody's got Elvis in them.
Everybody except one person that is,
Yeah, one person!
The evil opposite of Elvis,
The Anti-Elvis!
Anti-Elvis got no Elvis in him,
lemme tell ya.
Michael J. Fox has no Elvis in him.
And Elvis is in Joan Rivers
but he's trying to get out, man! He's trying to get out!
Listen up Joanie Baby!
Elvis is everywhere,
Elvis is everything,
Elvis is everybody,
Elvis is still the King.
Man oh man
What I want you to see
Is that the big E's
Inside of you and me
Man, there's a lot of unexplained phenomenon
out there in the world.
Lot of things people say
What the heck's going on?
Let me tell you!
Who built the pyramids?
ELVIS!
Who built Stonehenge?
ELVIS!
Yeah, man you see guys walking down the street
pushing shopping carts,
and you think they're talking to Allah,
they're talking to themselves.
Man, no they're talking to ELVIS!
ELVIS! ELVIS!
You know whats going on in that Bermuda Triangle?
Down in the Bermuda Triangle?
Elvis needs boats.
Elvis needs boats.
Elvis Elvis Elvis
Elvis Elvis Elvis
Elvis needs boats.
Aahh! The Sailing Elvis!
Captain Elvis!
Commodore Elvis it is!
Yeah man, you know people from outer space,
people from outer space they come up to me.
They don't look like like Doctor Spock.
They don't look like Klingons,
all that Star Trek jive.
They look like Elvis.
ELVIS!
Everybody in outer space looks like Elvis.
Cause Elvis is a perfect being.
We are all moving in perfect peace and harmony towards Elvisness
Soon all will become Elvis.
Everything everywhere will be Elvis.
Why do you think they call it evolution anyway?
It's really Elvislution!
Elvislution!
Elvis is everywhere
Elvis is everything
Elvis is everybody
Elvis is still the King.
Man oh man What I want you to see
Is that the big E's Inside of you and me.
That's right ladies and gentlemen,
The time has come!
Time has come to talk
To that little bit of Elvis inside of you.
Talk to it!
Call it up!
Say "Elvis, heal me!"
"Save me, Elvis!"
"Make me be born again in the perfect Elvis light."
That's right!
You've got that Elvis inside of you
and he's talkin to you.
He says he wants you to sing!
Everybody's got to sing like the king!
Like the king
Get that leg going now
Get your lip too.
Not no fool Billy Idol lip either.
Everybody!
Yeah, we're rockin' now!
Elvis is with us.
He's with us and he's speaking to us.
He says "Peoples!"
"Peoples!"
"Everybody!"
"Everybody got to sing!"
Elvis is everywhere
Elvis is everything
Elvis is everybody
Elvis is still the King.
Man oh man What I want you to see
Is that the big E's
Inside of you and me.
Elvis is everywhere
Elvis is everything
Elvis is everybody
Elvis is still the King.
Man oh man What I want you to see
Is that the big E's
Inside of you and me.
Elvis!
---
(whoo)
...suggestion: turns everybody in an amusingly wide area around Doug -into Elvis-. They're still themselves, memories, powers, etc., just filtered through Elvisness...
Relative body mass determines whether you get Classic or Bloated.
Possible side effects would include the random appearance of ships and boats.
Do NOT play this song near Michael J. Fox or Joan Rivers--or Donny Osmond, come to that.
...and if the/an actual Elvis was within earshot, he'd probably -transcend- or something...
--Sam Ashley
"In the north, they call us Those Two Goddamn American Singers. In the south, we are known as Los Cucarachas de Utah. In the west, we are Donny and Marie."
"What about the East?"
"To the East we go not."
"...but this -is- the East."
"Well, we'll be leaving soon."

Speaking of which, that's a linguistic construct that is just too different not to be cool.
Anyway, I've been rereading my sister's Potters, and had a couple of thoughts:
-Hermione's House Elf Protection Front gets faculty backing.
-Snape's home envionment resembles the Dursleys, only not so forgiving. He hated the senior Potter as much because fate seemed to hand him everything Severus had to slave for as for any other reason.
-Snape is, in fact, posessed of a great deal of personal courage.
-And I cannot, under any circumstances, see Doug -not- having fun with the anacronym D.A.D.A. Probably as a running joke.
Blessed be.
-n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

Use "I'll Play For You" as a target lock - that is, use the song to lock onto a target, and then use another song for offensive powers - it will either give guided shots with unerring aim, or simple prevent them from damaging anything other than the intended target. Great for neutralizing a lone hostage taker...
Of course if it has the latter effect, shooting _through_ the hostages to get to the bad guy might cause a few heart attacks in the process...
Offsides
Drunkard's Walk Forum Moderator and Prereader At Large

"Treat Me Right".
Forces everyone affected to regard Doug, temporarily at least, with the respect and courtesy (if grudginly, should the person in question dislike him) due his rank and position.
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

While not a serious suggestion, it would be... interesting to see Loon run into some of the various SI avatars running around. Grey, for example, would be an interesting omake, and my avatar from Growth would... well... definately change Doug's view of dieties in general, even more than Belldandy & co., and don't even get me started on what would happen if he ran into my avatar from Rebirth (shameless plug for a fic that's nearing release).

I apparently screwed up enough format issues in the last-minute rush to finish That Damned Book that it's coming back to me for a post-final draft. Argh.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

I am caught in a trap, there is no turning back, I'm finally facing the fear
The sky is on fire and up with the flames, my hope and my dreams disappear
So bring me the power, I'll be the king of the land and the seas
Show me a way to go, let me fight with my body and soul
Let me be the native son with freedom in my heart
Life will never be the same when spirits are calling my name
My name...
Let me out of the darkness, the shadow of pain, and I'm keeping my promise to you
My people, my spirit, the home of my heart, you're with me wherever I go
So bring me the power, I'll be the king of the land and the seas
I've got a way to go, let me fight with my body and soul
Let me be the native son with freedom in my heart
Life will never be the same when spirits are calling my name
My name...
So bring me the power, I'll be the king of the land and the seas
I've got a way to go, let me fight with my body and soul
Let me be the native son with freedom in my home
Life will never be the same when spirits are calling my name
Spirits are calling my name
-- When Spirits Are Calling My Name,
Recorded by Roger Pontare
Written by Thomas Holmstrand, Linda Jansson & Peter Dahl
(How's that for a substitute for "Cruel Angel's Thesis"?)

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

It just occurred to me that the number of songs with "Angel" in the title is ludicrously large. On immediate brainstorming, I come up with one within 10 second, Aerosmith's "Angel." However, I believe most of these are love songs. It'll be interesting to see what they do to the Angels of NGE.
Ebony the Black Dragon
Senior Editor, Living Room Games
www.lrgames.com
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

Sorry for not doing this earlier. Hi. Names' Phillip. I got dragged here by Evil Midnight Lurker one day to see yet another piece of fiction (which inevitably ends with me grudgingly admitting that it's good stuff), and I'll have to say that I'm rather enjoying DW so far. I have yet to finish it, though that has less to do with lack of interest than it does with lack of time.
So, about me:
-I'm a gamer. Have been since recieveing a first edition Player's Handbook at the tender age of six. My father would later claim it was the biggest mistake of his life. I'd like to add some more to that list, myself. My systems of choice are GURPS, TFOS (Arguably the greatest RPG of all time), and In Nomine, though I'll play most anything at least once. My forays into developement of game designs haven't gotten me that far just yet, but give me time.
-I'm an anime fan. That kicked off my sophomore year of high school, when a friend of mine brought out a tape of Ranma 1/2 during halloween. It was Dub, but I have since learned the joys of Subtitling. As anime goes I tend to be fairly picky. Excessive blood, violence or (shudder) fanservice annoys the hell out of me. I can't help but feel that they're insulting my intelligence when they do it.
-I'm also big on fanfiction, more or less under the same stipulations as I have with anime. Mind you, I'm also picky about quality of writing, but there you go. I've got a lot of ideas at the moment, three of which have seen the light of the internet. I need to do something about this. Oh, and I write original stuff too.
Lessee, what've I got on the burners now?
-'Ran Nomine: Hell or Hot Water', the 'fic previously mentioned by Lurker. Ranma 1/2-In Nomine Fusion.
-'Prodigal Son', an Ukyou-centered story in which Ukyou goes home after the Ranma/Akane wedding, hoping to leave Nerima behind. She wishes.
-'Card Captor Saotome', ...yeah. It really just hit me upside the head one day when I imagined Keroberos intoning the phrase "The life of a true Magical Girl is fraught with peril." Well, that and I enjoy making Ranma's life hell.
-'Yellow', which is the other way I'm messing with Ranma's life. Sort of a parody of the altaverse 'Ranma the badass' fics I saw everywhere for a while, it asks the question: What if Ranma, still the martial arts savant, were a complete coward?
-'Team Nerima', which is presently expanding at a geometric rate. Started as Ranma/Bureau 13 fusion, rapidly becoming Bureau 13/ALL ANIME IN THE COSMOS.
And of course Time and Place, which I'm really starting to enjoy.
Sorry about that. I really should get a website one of these days so I can just put things there.
Anway, looking forward to reading more of your works, Schroeck.
Phillip A. DesJardins
The Happy Shiny Mercurian
Monkeys With Typewriters Fanfiction Productions
Ukyou stared at the boy in disbelief. "Please don't tell me you're trying to make sure your future happens."
The boy shakes his head. "Oh no, my life is hell."

A few potentially-useful Bjork songs found among the many which would probably induce a psychotic episode (yai).

For those special times when all you need is an army of Dougs:

Quote:

---

Army of Me
Stand up
You've got to manage
I won't sympathize
Anymore.
And if you complain once more
You'll meet an army of me
And if you complain once more
You'll meet an army of me
You're alright
There's nothing wrong
Self-sufficience please!
And get to work.
And if you complain once more
You'll meet an army of me
And if you complain once more
You'll meet an army of me
Army of me
You're on your own now
We won't save you
Your rescue-squad
Is to exhausted
And if you complain once more
You'll meet an army of me
And if you complain once more
You'll meet an army of me
And if you complain once more
You'll meet an army of me
And if you complain once more
You'll meet an army of me
Army of me

---

Quote:

---

Headphones
Genius to fall asleep to your tape last night
So warm
Sounds go through the muscles
These abstract wordless
Movements, move move move move move.
They start off cells that haven't been touched before
These cells are virgins
Waking up slowly
My headphones
They saved my life
Your tape
It lulled me to sleep
To sleep, to sleep
Nothing will be the same
I'm fast asleep
I like this resonance
It elevates me
I don't recognize myself
This is very interesting
My headphones
They saved my life
Your tape
It lulled me to sleep
To sleep, to sleep
I'm fast asleep now
I'm fast asleep
My headphones
They saved my life
Your tape
It lulled me to sleep
To sleep, to sleep.

---

Quote:

---

Hunter
Ooooohhh... Ooooohhh... Ooooohhh... Ooooohhh...
If travel is searching
And home has been found
I'm not stopping
I'm going hunting
I'm the hunter
I'll bring back the goods
But I don't know when
I thought I could organize freedom
How Scandinavian of me
~en-cha-le-li~
~en-cha-le~
You sussed it out, didn't you ?
yeah!
You could smell it
So you left me on my own
To complete the mission
Now I'm leaving it all behind
I'm Going hunting
I'm the hunter, I'm the hunter
I'm going hunting
I'm the hunter Ooooohhh... I'm the hunter
I'm the hunter Ooooohhh... I'm the hunter
I'm ... the ... hunter...
Ooooohhh... Ooooohhh... Ooooohhh... Ooooohhh...

---

Quote:

---

Alarm call
Wo-oo-ooh hoh!
I have walked this earth
And watched people
It doesnt scare me at all
I can be sincere
And say I like them
It doesnt scare me at all
An-bithelafter-mer
An-yeah-hoh-oh
An-be-ja-a-a-ha-ha
You can't say no to hope
Can't say no to happiness
I want to go on a mountain-top
With a radio and good batteries
And play a joyous tune and
Free the human race
From suffering
It doesnt scare me at all
I'm no fucking buddhist
But this is enlightenment
The less room you give me
The more space I've got
It doesnt scare me at all
An-chamel-after
An-yeah-hoh-oh
An-be-ja-a-a-ha-ha
You can't say no to hope
Can't say no to happiness
It doesnt scare me at all
I want to be on a mountain-top
With a radio and good batteries
And play a joyous tune and
Free the
A-human race
From suffering
It doesnt scare me at all
This is an alarm-call
So wake-up, wake-up now
Woo-oo-ooh!
Today has never happened
And it doesnt frighten me
It doesnt scare me at all
An-bithel-after
An-yeah-hoh-oh
An-che-ja-a-a-ha-ha
You can't say no to hope
You can't say no to happiness
Wo-oo-ooh!
It doesnt scare me at all, wo-oo-ooh! ....

---

Quote:

---

Pluto
Excuse me
But I just have to
Explode
Explode this body
Off me
Woo-ooh
Oooooh (x4)
I'll be brand new
Brand new tomorrow
A little bit tired
But brand new
OOoooh! X3
Aaaaah! X13
Aaaaaah!
Woaahh!!!

---