So titled because, of course, Asuka really isn't.
Now, I was reading a bit of Evafic (Step Beyond the Abyss, by N. T. Martin - reccomended, BTW) and had a... hmm. Revelation? Epiphany? Whatever.
Each of the Eva pilots has certain problems with the way they interact with the rest of the universe, and the way they view themselves. It's interesting, and probably a comment on Anno's state of mind, that the 'internal' problem is much the same - a lack of self respect bordering on hatred. They differ from each other so widely because of the way their 'exterior' damage proceeds from the 'internal'.
Asuka's external problems aren't brattiness or anything... it's just that she only has one tool for dealing with other people - a hammer - so she turns all her problems into nails.
This doesn't mean that she's -happy- about it, but that displeasure over her own actions feeds back into her own self-loathing, which in turn boils over into more "Hammerbitch" and so on in a vicious cycle that she can't escape on her own.
Blessed be.
-n
(This is tangentially related to my biggest problem with Anno - his apparent conviction that personal growth is inherently destructive.)
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

She had hair like Jeannie Shrimpton
Back in 1965
She had legs that never ended
I was halfway paralyzed
She was tall and cool and pretty and
She dressed as black as coal
If she'd ask me to I'd murder
I would gladly lose my soul

Now I lie in bed and think of her
Sometimes I even weep
Then I dream of her
Behind the wall of sleep

Well she held a bass guitar and
She was playing in a band
And she stood just like Bill Wyman
Now I am her biggest fan
Now I know I'm one of many
Who would like to be your friend
And I've got to find a way
To let you know I'm not like them

Now I lie in bed and think of her
Sometimes I even weep
Then I dream of her
Behind the wall of sleep

(bridge)

Now I lie in bed and think of her
Sometimes I even weep
Then I dream of her
Behind the wall of sleep

Got your number from a friend of mine
Who lives in your hometown
Called you up to have a drink
Your roommate said you weren't around
Now I know I'm one of many
Who would like to be your friend
And I've got to find a way to
Let you know I'm not like them

Now I lie in bed and think of her
Sometimes I even weep
Then I dream of her
Behind the wall of sleep
Behind the wall of sleep
Behind the wall of sleep
Behind the wall of sleep
-- Smithereens, Behind the Wall of Sleep

Dedicated to Doug's memory of Shadowwalker

(Edit: Minor corrections to lyrics)

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

Here we are.
Born to be kings.
We're the princes of the universe.
Here we belong.
Fighting to survive.
In a world with the darkest powers.
And here we are. We're the princes of the universe.
Here we belong. Fighting for survival.
We've come to be the rules of your world.
I am immortal. I have inside me blood of kings.
I have no rival. No man can be my equal.
Take me to the future of your world.
Born to be kings.
Princes of the universe.
Fighting and free.
Got your world in my hand.
I'm here for your love and I'll make my stand.
We were born to be princes of the universe.
No man could understand.
My power is in my own hand.
Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. People talk about you.
People say you've had your day.
I'm a man that will go far.
Fly the moon and reach for the stars.
With my sword and head held high.
Got to pass the test first time - yeah.
I know that people talk about me I hear it every day.
But I can prove you wrong cos I'm right first time.
Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Watch this man fly.
Bring on the girls.
Here We are.
Born to be kings.
We're the princes of the universe.
Here we belong.
Born to be kings.
Princes of the universe.
Fighting and free.
Got the world in my hands.
I'm here for your love.
And I'll make my stand.
We were born to be princes of the universe.
-- Queen, Princes Of The Universe
Words and music by Freddie Mercury
From the album "A Kind of Magic"
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

A micro-Step might be a brief encounter with Dr. Harold Shea, Ph.D., and his lovely wife, Belephebe. Or perhaps Dr. Shea's mentor, Dr. Reed Chalmers and his lovely wife, Florimel. Both characters are from "The Compleat [sic] Enchanter" by L. Sprague de Camp and Fletcher Pratt (later stories by Christopher Stasheff), and are the original cross-literature fiction. Shea and Chalmers, being people of the 50s-60s, would recognize the concept of "comic heroes" and probably find Doug fascinating from a psychological point of view (both of them are psychiatrists). Their method of travelling between universes is conceptual (i.e., if they believe they're in a universe logically, they can perceive it and be transported there), and might be able to give Doug some tips on controlling his steps. Or send him spinning off in the completely wrong direction.
Ebony the Black Dragon
Senior Editor, Living Room Games
www.lrgames.com
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

This is an EPU Spectrum Green Pattern Alert!
All hands! Brace for Angel attack!
For those of you who haven't checked yet, there is a new terminal at the Neo Exodus Evangelion website.
Neon Exodus Evangelion - The Movie - Apotheosis Now...
Is being posted TOMORROW.
Further details at the Eyrie Productions website.
Incoming! AT fields at maximum output!
(Yes, I know it's a cross post from general. But this is Evangelion related, and a lot of fans of Bob's work are EPU fans as well. If you see it first, here, answer in the General section only, please.)

In the absence of new material during my to-the-death battle with my writer's block, I'm ransacking my files of material for suitable, non-spoiler stuff to post. Here's one such scene, possibly one of the few places in the Walk where Doug acts exactly like a typical SI character. (And for that reason, it may not end up in the story at all... but enjoy it while it lasts. )
-- Bob
----------------------
"So why haven't you made an effort to cement your relationship
yet? I mean, you're dancing around her like you're expecting her
to reject you if you go too fast."

"Welll..."

I looked him straight in the blush. "You *are* afraid of going
too fast, aren't you?"

He ducked his head and grimaced. "Well, yeah."

"Trust me, Keiichi, that's not likely." I settled down on the
engawa. "Fortunately, she probably hasn't noticed that you're
taking an excessively long time to do anything."

Keiichi frowned. "What do you mean?"

I gestured vaguely towards where Belldandy was organizing half a
dozen songbirds into a chorus while she washed the dishes.

"Look at her, Keiichi. She looks to be all of what, nineteen, maybe
twenty years old?"

"Yeah..." he trailed off dreamily, and I smiled. Ah, young love.

"She isn't, you know. Fifteen hundred years ago, the Vikings
woshipped and feared her, and fifteen hundred years from now
someone else might well do the same. She's *immortal*, Keiichi.
A deity. And deities *don't* have the same sense of time as we
mortals, unless they've spent decades, centuries, in an avatar.
Your entire relationship -- even that bizarre 'childhood' meeting
of yours -- has all taken place in a blink of an eye for the Mind
that inhabits that body. She could wait for you to make the
first move until you die of old age and after, until the whole
damned planet crumbles into dust, and it would never occur to
her to get impatient -- because the Being that she expresses
simply does not live in Time the way you do."

Keiichi's eyes were wide. I guess he never thought that all
through before. I continued. "The upshot of this, though, is
that the Time mismatch thing works for you, too. You can't
go*too* fast, as far as I can figure -- all this is already
happening in an eyeblink for her; what's one more escalation of
the relationship?"

As his expression grew thoughtful, Keiichi nodded and stood up.
"You've given me a lot to consider, Doug-san," he said, bowing.
"If you'll excuse me...?"

"No problem," I replied, and he wandered off to think. As soon
as he was beyond earshot, I said, "You can come out now."

Urd slid out of a shadow in a manner that reminded me painfully
of Maggie. "That was a line of bull you just fed him, you know,"
she said reproachfully. "We're not inserted into this mortal
world wearing incorruptible vessels; we're actually living and
growing beings with a perfectly mortal sense of time."

I shrugged carelessly. "That's as may be. It doesn't matter.
The whole point was to give the kid a kick in the pants and jolt
him out of his passive acceptance of the status quo."

Urd scowled at me. "Yeah, well I've *tried* that and it didn't
work."

I snorted. "I've heard about your tries, Urd." I shifted my
voice to mimic Mr. Rogers. "Can you say 'bungle,' boys and
girls? Nice try." Back to my normal voice. "You went for the
hormones and it failed. I went straight for the heart. And his
own self-interest. Let's see if it works better."

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

I don't see any reference elsewhere to this... Though "Lord of Light" was suggested, which is a good idea!
Unless you feel an Amber light prevents you from considering this idea! [grin]
Doug arrives in Amber, which is admittedly another multiverse in it's own right. For a fun arrival he pops in in the Pattern chamber under Castle Amber, on his bike, and rides to the centre of the Pattern, while still unconscious. (How and Why obviously raise interesting questions! [grin]) Someone has to go in and move him to somewhere more convenient (having a bike parked in the middle of the Pattern _might_ cause trouble!), which happens before he becomes conscious.
Doug wakes up in a bed in Castle Amber, with _lots_ of people wanting to talk to him about who his Amber ancestor is, which faction he will align with, and how he learned such an _unusual_ method of Pattern Walking! And, he has his bike, parked on the carpet, in the bedroom, with him, just to bemuse him.
Note that Doug's bike, being a high tech item (with his helmet) that would not normally work in Amber, is going to come in for considerable interest; has Doug involuntarily enchanted his bike at some point so it doesn't care about what the local laws of reality are?
Does Doug's magic work in Amber? I think so!
What are the consequences of him having Walked the Pattern? Does this maybe give him another way home?
Whoes secret plans are advanced by Doug being there? Or, interfered with?
Do the Amberites think he is another lost child of Oberon? [grin] Or, given the chaos that swirls around him, Dworkin? [bigger grin]
This is a setting that could really test Doug's political skills, and where his magic will not give him the edge it might elsewhere?
And, if Doug gets put in the position of trying to Walk through Shadow to get home, will he create a Shadow which is Warriors World, and how long before he starts to doubt it's true reality?
He could stumble through all sorts of strange Step-lets on the way, even the odd anime cameo!
And, once he leaves the Amber multiverse (probably via the Primordial Pattern, or the Abyss), do any fragments left of his command of Pattern do him any good, anywhere else?
And, what will it do to Doug, knowing a place in Shadow exists somewhere, where he could be the god of his own reality?
Just a few suggestions...
--
"It is the business of the future to be dangerous" - Hawkwind

These aren't really teasers, at least not in the sense of the larger passages I've posted before. They're pretty much extended one-liners, intended as hints and suggestions. To be fair, let me tell you that many of them currently exist in isolation in my notes, attached to an as-yet unwritten scene; their appearance in the final product is not guaranteed. But they do give me something fun to share with you as I continue to wrestle with my writer's block.
-- Bob
----------------
"I'm older than I look, Misato-san. I'm probably old enough tobe your father." * * *I had a bird's-eye view of the action, provided the bird was on the ground. * * *"Violet Pattern confirmed on the man in the helmet," Mayaannounced. "Violet Pattern, sempai?""A Transcendant Human?" Ritsuko whispered. "Here? Now? Buthow...?" * * *"I've been training longer than you've been alive, Asuka.Fifteen years of intense training with experts in almost everyknown weapon, as part of my duty cycle, before I was ejectedfrom my home world. I normally fight hand-to-hand or with mymetagift, but if I have to I can pick up anything from a Daisy BBgun to a Bell and Howell L224 man-portable maser array and killwith it." * * *"You're a snarky little bitch, Asuka, but we like you anyway," Isaid.Rei looked predictably puzzled. "I do not understand," she saidin her near-whisper. "What is 'sunaruki'?" * * *Gendo watched impassively as Kaji frowned and ran a hand through his hair. "He's a pro," the agent said, shaking his head. "I saw it all in his eyes. He sized me up, specced me out and dismissed me as inconsequential. He knew I was carrying -- I saw his eyes tag *every* gun I had on me, and most of my knives. He was unarmed. I'm sure of it. And he *still* was certain he could take me down, and take me down *hard*. Dammit, who *is* he? Who is he working for?" * * *"Well, Lion, I could look in my wizard's bag for a medal, but Idon't think that would do the trick for you.""Huh?" said Shinji. * * *"Look," I said. "Do trust your father?""No," he admitted softly."Do you understand how he thinks?"Shinji hesitated, then nodded. "I think so. Some of the time."I sat back. "Well, then. Look at the situation and decide whatyour father would do. Then do the exact moral and ethicalopposite." * * *"This is something Father did *not* brief me on." * * *"I have never had a family before, Shinji-kun, and I... I want more. I have never wanted anything for myself before, but I want this." She blushed and returned her gaze to the floor. "Will you let me call you... brother? Please?""Rei...?""Because you *are*," she whispered with a fierce intensity thatstunned him as much as her words. "They showed me. I am half-Angel, Shinji, half a creature of the heavens... but the otherhalf came from your... *our* mother. I am as much the child ofYui Ikari as you, and knowing this gives me such joy that Icannot express it." * * *"Remember this! The fundamental force that gives shape to theuniverse is willpower. If your will is strong enough, theuniverse will do what you want. If that sounds like magic,that's only because it is." * * *"What *are* you, Doug?""I'm mortal, I'm human. I'm just not... local." * * *She tilted her head head, and her eyes grew distant. "It is a curious paradox. In trying to control me, Gendo Ikari freed me. He called me 'Zero', to make me think I was nothing, but the rest of you put the lie to that and showed me that I was instead 'Spirit', beyond his ability to hold." She smiled as if at a private joke. * * *
(And finally, a snippet not from the story, but from a "Bonus Theatre" segment that may or may not ever get written.)
"Man, we *done* this fuckin' shit once already, at that fuckin' church in fuckin' Red Bank! Why does She always call on *us* to deal with fuckin' angels throwin' fuckin' hissy fits?"
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

As it is only polite to introduce myself...
Science Fiction fan for forever, Anime fan since an accident at an SF con in the late 1980s.
Consumer of fanfic since the early '90s, when Megazone was god on what's now RAAC.
Occasional indulger in excessive RPGing, particularly superheroics, if available.
Long-term amateur tinkerer with RPG rules, mostly extending things.
High Tech fan, Programmer with strange ideas, and mostly British.
Is that enough to get started with? [grin]

Ah, and non-drinker! [grin]
--
"It is the business of the future to be dangerous" - Hawkwind

While I fight with my writer's block, here's a little something I wrote some months ago.
-- Bob
(edit: ezcode, not html!)
----------
In other news, I found out who the mysterious "KS", designer ofthe boomer brain, was. Despite my best efforts, I had to filterthrough a lot of Knight Saber drek to find him, but there he was,practically a footnote in the history of boomer development aspresented by GENOM: Katsuhito Stingray. (Talk about your goofynames... Or maybe not, considering pots, kettles and apparentreflectivity indices...)Something of a latter-day Renaissance man, he worked for anoutfit called Whiz Laboratories (which GENOM later took over,natch) until he died in what the official biographical paragraphdescribed as "an accidental explosion". Parsing *that* throughthe GENOM-to-Truth converter gets us "assassinated after hiscritical breakthrough so we could nick all the rights when webought the company."Except that GENOM *didn't* get *all* the rights to boomertech --according to certain other databases I consulted, Stingray hadfiled for and received a few key patents before his death, andthose were still in the hands of his two children, Sylia andMackinnison. (*Who* in their right mind names their kid"Mackinnison"? God only knows what damage that did to the poorboy's psyche growing up, especially combined with having his dadmurdered...)Anyway, out of a kind of paternal interest in these two probablevictims of GENOM's greed, I looked into their lives. It turnedout to be harder than I expected -- both kept a very low profile.However, I found enough. They were doing well for themselves --for some reason GENOM hadn't tried to cheat or lawyer them out ofthe remaining patents (probably because it would have been a PRdebacle even GENOM's spinmeisters couldn't have fixed), andthey'd been worth a lot. The girl -- well, woman, actually,since she was now in her middle 20s -- was a multimillionaire whoapparently split her time between running a lingerie shop anddabbling (rather successfully) in real estate. The boy was anengineering prodigy who was attending college in Germany, but hadpreviously lived with his sister in their penthouse home. Theycertainly weren't suffering, despite their father's probablemurder at GENOM's hands.(*"They killed your parents, didn't they?"*)The memory of my own voice whispered to me from the back of mymind, and I stopped for a moment to consider what it had to say.Then I pulled up what precious little there was on Sylia Stingrayin the public databases -- suspiciously little, come to think ofit. I supplemented it with material I had eased out of someGENOM files I really wasn't supposed to know about. I added invarious news shots of both the White Knight and Stingray. Istudied the combined results and thought.Allowing for those stupid heels and the general increase indimensions imposed by the nature of the armor, she'd be about theright height and build. Her brother had clearly inherited theirfather's genius, so why not her? But either one could be theKnights' technologist. She had more than enough money to start(if not continuously fund) a private mercenary force. Sheclearly had enough pull to ensure her online profile was smallenough to overlook easily. She had the free time. And she had amotive that tallied up nicely with Lady White's obsession withboomers.Add to that the fact that the name I'd overheard in their radiochatter as "Celia" could easily have been "Sylia" instead, and Iwas pretty sure that I had found the leader of the Knight Sabers.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.