Okay, I wrote the following passage a couple weeks ago just as a gag, after rereading Skysaber's "Otaku 3 -- Eva Revolution". Those of you not familiar with this fic, it's one of Jared Ornstead's "Skysaber" self-inserts, but because of the baggage Skysaber brings to the Eva world, the fact that he's taking the place of Shinji, and the tactic he chooses to derail Gendo's plans, it turns the plot of Eva onto a hilarious and wildly divergent path. Even though Skysaber's work is always uneven (there are moments of brilliance and there are times when you want to strangle him), I highly recommend it; the good parts outweigh the bad parts.

Anyway.

I wrote the following as a gag, and as a tip of the hat to Skysaber, in much the way that there are tips of the hat to other authors in DW2. I sent it off to my prereaders, whose unanimous silence was overwhelming... so I'm posting it here, at least to see if it's the humorous bit I think it is. There's no promise that this will actually go into DW6, but then again, "Sailor Loon" was originally a gag bit written just for laughs and never intended to be actually used...

-- Bob

The current tape in his DAT player at its end, Shinji drifted out
of his room to the kitchen in search of a snack. Opening one
cabinet after another, he surveyed their contents half-heartedly,
knowing that he wanted to eat *something*, but not *what*.
Finally, he selected a bag of wasabi peas that Misato had opened
a couple of nights earlier, then followed the sound of the
television out to the living room.

Asuka and Rei were sprawled on the floor, intent on an anime that
seemed to focus around several girls wearing short, flouncy
dresses in bright primary colors. "What are you watching?" he
asked.

Both girls looked up at him with a simultaneity he found eerie.
"'Cutie Emerald and the Gemstone Girls'," Asuka replied with a
grin.

Shinji settled himself onto the couch behind them and begin
undoing the twist-tie on the bag. "Mahou shoujo show?"

"Yes," Rei replied, as both girls returned their eyes to the
screen. "It is... interesting."

"It's fun, is what it is," Asuka corrected, and Rei slowly
nodded. "Hey, Shinji," the redhead continued, "take a look.
Don't you think Magical Soldier Cutie Emerald looks like Misato?"
She waved a hand at the screen, where a green-clad 14-year-old
blasted her enemies with a beam of glittering power.

He tossed a few wasabi peas in his mouth and studied the smiling
face as he chewed. Then he wrinkled his nose. "No way. She's
*blonde*. The hair is all wrong."

Asuka hmphed, clearly disagreeing. "What do *you* know? You
probably don't think Cutie Sapphire looks like me, either."

"To be honest," Rei said, "the resemblance is not very strong."

Asuka made a rude noise.

"However," Rei continued, unperturbed, "*I* am clearly identical
to Cutie Ruby."

Shinji shook his head. "You two are both nuts, you know that?"
he said around another mouthful of peas.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

I should have done this sooner but sometimes my stupid side comes out when my attention wanders. So anyway on with the introduction. I'm 24 and was lucky enough to graduate from college with a BA: MIS degree. Also in college I joined a internationl co-ed service fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega. Which I'm still active in today. I'm currently hoping to get back into school for another Bachlor's degree this time in Teaching.
I'm also a gamer. I've played a bunch of different systems most often MERPs and the Palladium system. I'm also into strategy and war games on the computer and their board game incarnations.
I'm an anime fan with a large range of likeable series. Also I like to read and read a lot. My main intrliest for books is Sci-Fi, Fantasy, and Fiction. Finally last but not least I'm a large music fan. I currently own over 300 cds with stuff from just about every different genre out there. I think that's it. Any questions can be directed here to this thread I guess.

Shawn Earl

To temporarily deflate your local Doctor Doom clone's megalomania, I give you:
National Lampoon's "Deteriorata."
Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself,
And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss and when.
Consider that two wrongs never make a right,
But that three lefts do.
Wherever possible put people on "HOLD".
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
Remember the Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you;
That lemon on your left for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls,
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face.
Carefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan,
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
For a good time, call 606-4311.
Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog
Is finally getting enough cheese;
And reflect that whatever fortunes may be your lot,
It could only be worse in Sioux City.
You are a fluke of the Universe.
You have no right to be here.
And, whether you can hear it or not,
The Universe is laughing behind your back.
Therefore make peace with your God whatever you conceive him to be,
Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal,
The world continues to deteriorate.
Give up.
-----
(of course, once the song shuts down, you've got a very -angry- megalomaniac on your hands. But what's one more Hunted?)
--Sam
"I will now lower you into my pit of man-eating alligators and cows!"

"Shot through the heart/and you're to blame" Bon Jovi - Shot Through the Heart -- Either very good (bow and arrows that don't miss) or very bad (the -enemy- can't miss)
"Just got paid today/Got me a pocket full of change" ZZ Top - Just Got Paid -- Well, all those coins that dissapear into the couch cusions have to go -somewhere-
Aladdin Soundtrack - One Jump Ahead -- Whoever's chasing Doug can't catch up (probably with appropriate slapstick style SPFX). Drawback? Once he's used this, The Law Is Not His Friend (for the rest of the day)
"Left right left/we all fall down like toy soldiers" Martika - Toy Soldiers -- Doug can knock down anyone in his area of affect at will (and -no- -one- therin can bend their knees or elbows)
"After midnight/we're gonna let it all hang down" ? - After Midnight -- metasong that resets Doug's 'songs used' list, with itself added as the first item on the new list.
"Thirty minutes to alter our life/Thirty minutes a moment in time" Tatu - Thirty Minutes -- implants a suggestion in the mind of everyone in Doug's area of affect that compels them to make a decision about whatever issue they were least decided on at the end of a thirty minute period, determined from the beginning of the song, and -stick to it-, permanently.
"I walk 47 miles of barbed wire/I got a cobra snake for a necktie" George Thoroughgood - Who Do You Love -- Doug is One Tough Bastard! For four minutes and twenty seconds, anyway. Half all incoming damage.
"I don't care/I'm still free/you can't take the sky from me" Joss Whedon - Theme from Firefly -- metasong. The next flight song Doug uses lasts indefinitely, only ceasing when he applys a new song. This includes I'm a Pioneer.
"This year - is gonna be incredible/This year - is gonna be the one" Chantal Kreviazuk - This Year -- precognition, out as far as however far it is to next Jan 1. But only the good things, not the bad ones (except by deduction).
"breathe into me and make me real/bring me to life" Evanescence - Bring Me to Life -- Well, there's the obvious. Limit that to major healing and the same sort of thing that an emergency room could do (it's a magic defibrilator!), since we've already go Twist of Fate. Alternately, it occurs to me that this could be of use at a certain point in the DW VI plotline.
"You better leave your lights on/'Cause there's a monster" Santana - Leave Your Lights On -- a shining light of hope and optimism, for when things are bleakest and the night is darkest. Not sure about a game effect, but it's a nice thought, no?
And that's the end of my current "New Files" playlist. Enjoy.
Blessed be.
-n
===========

===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."

A new piece of DW artwork by Dave Menard has been added to the Gallery page. Enjoy.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

In the past 24 hours, Dave Menard has sent me two new pieces of DW artwork. I've posted the first of these to the gallery page on my website (www.eclipse.net/~rms/dwgallry.html); the second will go up soon, I hope, depending on some final approval from a third party.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

I don't know if Doug's Metatalent will work this way, but I have a song that could have 2 different effects depending on the situation it is used in: Jackson Brown's "Stay".
If played on its own, it will keep people from fleeing the area of effect and/or will "hold" people. If played at the end of another song, it will extend the effect of the first song until Stay finishes. Used in the second way, it is a "Meta-Song" along the lines of "I'll Play For You".
This brings up the question of other Meta-Songs for Doug. I think that ELP's "Karn Evil 9" might be usable to extend an effect indefinitely - until Doug uses another Song...
Offsides
Drunkard's Walk Forum Moderator and Prereader At Large

The Loon is having a very very very bad day.
This isn't a good place to be if you're an out-of-towner. It's not even good for the -natives-, but if they knew Doug's true nature... well, they'd probably misinterpret it, but even if not he'd be in horrible danger.
Then again, he's in horrible danger NOW.
With extremely careful use of Lightning's Hand, he's managed to forge a local identity--not high enough social status to draw attention, but not low enough to be casually killed. He hopes. Further use of LH is not a good idea--with the (literally) insane tech level, it'd get noticed. It may have BEEN noticed.
It can't last. Sooner or later, someone will catch on and THEY will be after him. Who's THEY? Who isn't?
And it's such a damned hideous world, too. Danger is everywhere, everyone is afraid of everyone else, and disregard for human life isn't just standard--it's practically mandatory. Many things are mandatory around here, but that one sticks out.
And the worst part--the absolute ultimate WORST part--
--Doug's pretty sure that if he saw this world from Outside, as a movie or a game or something, he'd be laughing his ass off. But from down here in the corridors, it isn't funny at all.
Someone's probably laughing at him right now...
He's got to find a gate song fast, before this place gets under his skin and never -ever- leaves.
Because Citizen Loon-Y-TNS-1 is developing a classic case of... PARANOIA.
Stay alert.
Trust no one.
Keep your helmet handy.
--Sam
"Isn't it nice...? Isn't it keen...? Living in Complexes run by... machines..."

Not sure if this is appropriate . . .
Okay, my computer recently went kerblooey and much of my mp3s are lost. I'm trying to rebuild my library, but, well, anyway
There's this one particular song that I *know* but it's slipping from my mind completely. And it's happened before with this same song. I love but something about it makes me want to forget it.
Anyway, it's classic rock, I guess. Sometime from the seventies, probably.
It begins with an instrumental, no words, sounds a bit like a violin or at least some stringed instrument. This goes on for a little bit, then goes into the main part, which is very different from the beginning. The only lyrics that I kind of remember are "take a dive" and "take a fall" or possibly "taking a dive". Not sure if it's "I'm not taking a dive" but . . . well.
I hope you can help. I know it's not much, but, god, my brain is going to curdle if I don't know what this song is.
-murmur the fallen
who, everytime he tries to think about this song, keeps on tuning into a memory of "Still the Same." Curse you, Bob Seger!

FYI bob, for some reason hosted scripts isn't doing its script thing. When I loaded the page, it paused for a looong time trying to transfer data from HS, but I never did get a quote.
Of course, It could just be a temp thing, but it's something to check on later..."I was an Otaku before those kids came along and changed the meaning of the word."
-- HM "Howling Mad" Wilson to more than one team-mate.
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children