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| The Mysterious Mushroom |
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Posted by: classicdrogn - 12-31-2022, 08:20 AM - Forum: General Chatter
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The unseasonably warm weather the past few days was apparently enough to see a mushroom springing up near enough the path I travel to pick up the mail to notice. It was quite large and strange looking, but I didn't have the camera with me, it was gone later, and I didn't want to touch it to avoid becoming the first entry in a new Cursed Thread for 2023.
Though looming larger in my memory, my impression at the time was that it was about 1 1/2" x 2" (or 3x4 cm) and either a puffball or still very rounded with a short stem so it looked like one, flesh pale white and smooth over all but most of the top covered by a net of very pale red filled with fairly pale blue - a true blue as few things in nature are - such that the easiest way to draw it would be to start with pink ovals about the size of a fingertip, edges intersecting but not continuing to overlap after the first two or three until most of the space was filled, then add a squiggle in the center of each that in most cases forms an actual question mark, then fill in the ovals with that pale, icy, sky blue. No noticeable smell, and it did not appear particularly slimy/damp or powdery/dry, just plain like a portabello you might find in the grocery.
After it was gone, there was the sort of lingering smell that suggested a skunk may have been responsible.
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| Strange Messenger: Endangered Language Acquisition |
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Posted by: Proginoskes - 12-28-2022, 12:45 AM - Forum: The Game Everyone Loves To Play
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Strange Messenger, by the duo Vixy & Tony, is about the story of Humboldt's Parrot: a bird that survived not just its owners, but their entire people, leaving it the only source for scholars to learn about their language.
Quote:He was exploring South America, the first to venture there
In an age of change and reason, new discoveries everywhere
Along the Orinoco, the great river corridor
He heard tell of a people who had fled a tribal war
It was said they chose seclusion over death or life as slaves
But in their sheltered grotto, he found only simple graves
And one brightly colored messenger, whom no one understood
Spoke the language of a people who had disappeared for good
So tell me, bold explorer, as you wandered through the leaves,
Did you ponder unknown losses that the very Cosmos grieves?
Was it halting? Was it flowing? Was it lilting and divine?
Was it fearless as your native tongue, mercurial as mine?
Would it pique a linguist's interest? Would it hold a poet's thrall?
Did the words of one strange messenger tell you anything at all?
He kept a careful chronicle, transcribing what he heard
Of the tribe's entire language, there remained just forty words
Complexity and structure, how it tastes and how it sings
Time devoured all but scattered words for scattered things
And can we archaeologists, with bits of sound like runes
Ever paint a living portrait of a people in their tombs?
Could we somehow come to know them? Will we ever even try?
Sifting through linguistic ruins for the clues to how and why
So tell me, bold explorer, as you wandered through the leaves,
Did you ponder unknown losses that the very Cosmos grieves?
Was it halting? Was it flowing? Was it lilting and divine?
Was it fearless as your native tongue, mercurial as mine?
Would it pique a linguist's interest? Would it hold a poet's thrall?
Do the words of one strange messenger tell us anything at all?
To those who study history, it seems a bitter curse
The loss of language terrible, the lost potential worse
Past and future stories multiplied a thousandfold,
Vanished out of history and never to be told
Were they beautiful and gentle? Would they call us friend or foe?
What wisdom did they live by? What secrets did they know?
It's a symphony reduced to what a single bird can sing
The forest lost their language, and they lost everything
So tell me, bold explorer, as you wandered through the leaves,
Did you ponder unknown losses that the very Cosmos grieves?
Was it halting? Was it flowing? Was it lilting and divine?
Was it fearless as your native tongue, mercurial as mine?
Would it pique a linguist's interest? Would it hold a poet's thrall?
Do the words of one strange messenger tell us anything at all?
This song functions as a universal translator, but that's the least of it. It also aids Doug's language acquisition and learning of culture, to a degree depending on how at-risk the language or culture is; if a language is likely to die out within a single generation, it takes a single conversation lasting the song for him to become fluent. If the language has effectively already died out, as in the case of Humboldt's Parrot, he attains fluency on hearing the first word. At the other end of the scale, for languages like German or Russian at no risk of dying out, using the song to understand it just makes learning it the hard way very slightly easier for the next 24 hours.
EDIT: kind of like "Minus Ten And Counting", Doug's power also amplifies the song's emotional impact and the importance of its message in all who hear it.
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| 2016-09-22: Cuisine Clash |
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Posted by: robkelk - 12-26-2022, 10:52 AM - Forum: Stories
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Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
September 22, 2016
12:07 PM ET
"Of course I've heard of borscht," Makoto said, somewhat indignantly. "It is one of the three grand soups, after all."
"In that case, I don't need to explain this. Would you care to join me for lunch?"
"Sure, why not?"
Rob grabbed two bowls from the cupboard and brought them over to the stovetop, where a pot of borscht was simmering. "I can't take credit for this batch; it's from a Ukrainian store in the west end of town," he mentioned as he ladled some of the soup into the bowls, then set the bowls on the kitchen table, then pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge while Makoto placed spoons and glasses by the bowls. There was already a basket of dinner rolls on the table.
They both sat down, and after the traditional "thank you for the food", tried the soup.
"This tastes different from what I'm used to. Do you know what kind of tomatoes are in the soup?"
Rob looked puzzled. "There's no tomatoes in borscht. At least, not in Ukrainian borscht."
"Tomatoes give the soup its red colour. What else could make it red?"
"The beetroot, of course."
"What's a beetroot?" asked Makoto.
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| 2016-09-19: A Little Slice of Heaven on the Gulf |
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Posted by: robkelk - 12-26-2022, 10:38 AM - Forum: Stories
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By Rob Kelk
with Robert M. Schroeck
Based on and incorporating scenes from a story by Rajvik
Pensacola Beach, Florida, USA
September 19, 2016
3:44 PM CT
Shinji sat still for a moment, his eyes still closed. Whatever had happened, it had drawn so much out of him that he felt like he hadn't slept for a couple of weeks. But he'd just woken up, so that wasn't really true.
If he had been responsible for doing whatever happened when he decided how humanity was going to progress, he knew he didn't have the power to do it again. He must have been part of that sea of LCL, and he must have drawn on the strength of every living being on Earth to do what he just did. Kind of like that Dragon Ball Z episode or movie or whatever it was where Goku needed the power of everybody on Earth to launch an attack strong enough to defeat whoever it was he was up against. Shinji was pretty sure that that only happened once in the entire series.
Kami-sama willing, the circumstances that allowed Shinji to pull off something that magically changed other people's lives would never happen again, either. One sea of LCL was one too many.
He was sitting, not lying down, so he wasn't about to see an unfamiliar ceiling when he opened his eyes.
What he saw was an unfamiliar tour bus.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," Misato said from the seat next to his.
"Where are we?"
"Almost at our new home away from home. You've been asleep for an hour now, since we left Eglin Air Force Base."
"That was a great tour we got to go on!" That was Toji's voice coming from right behind him. "Who knew that there were so many different things people have to do in order to keep us safe from the Russians?"
"They didn't say anything about Russia or any other country during the tour, though." That was Hikari, and she was a couple of seats forward from Shinji.
"Remember Southern Chishima, before Second Impact," countered Toji. "When Russia's finished with Crimea, you can be sure they'll come for the rest of Hokkaido. Unless we're ready for them. Isn't that part of why we trained with the Evas back in Japan?"
"Dummkopf! They're more likely to invade the rest of Ukraine first, to consolidate their gains. They're not going to make the Kaliningrad mistake again." And that was Asuka.
"Kaliningrad mistake?" Shinji found himself asking without intending to.
"Kaliningrad is a Russian exclave located between Poland and Lithuania," replied Dr. Akagi from the front of the bus. "The people living there cannot get to the rest of Russia except by crossing through a country that is part of NATO."
"And you know that has to piss off the Russians," added Toji.
With habits honed by long repetition, Hikari immediately complained, "Suzuhara! Mind your language!"
"Sorry, class rep."
As the conversation continued around him, Shinji realized that he didn't remember a minute of the tour that everybody else was talking about. Or of arriving at Eglin AFB, or the United States. Whatever happened to everybody, he was just beside it; he wasn't a part of it. Yet. No more running away; he had to put in the work to become part of the group... and that was part of how he had set things up, he realized.
He was still trying to figure out how to ask what had just happened to everyone without sounding like he was insane, when the bus pulled to a stop in front of a wood-sided building surrounded by sand dunes. "We have arrived," said the driver (who for some reason had an English accent straight out of a BBC television drama). "Thank you for choosing Funtom for your transportation needs today, and once again we apologize for having lost track of your bags." They took turns getting out of the bus and into the heat of the Florida Gulf Coast.
As Shinji moved to step out of the bus, the driver quietly slipped him an envelope. Shinji looked at it in puzzlement for a brief moment, then slipped it into his pocket and got out of Misato's way.
Kaji was the last off the bus, and he asked the driver whether he'd be available later in the day to take the group to a mall where they could replace their lost clothes and personal effects. The answer he received left Kaji unhappy.
As the bus pulled away, a tall, slim man with a dark brown stereotypical biker's beard, biker's hairdo, and biker's leathers stepped out of the building to meet them. "Welcome to Gulfside Rest, everyone! I'm Harley Waters, and I'm in charge of this little slice of Heaven on the Gulf Coast." His voice didn't match the stereotype that he projected; Shinji, with his musical skills, pegged him as a tenor. And despite the fact that he spoke English, Shinji had no trouble understanding him. He noticed that the road signs were in English, too, and he had no problem reading them.
"I'm Misato Katsuragi," his guardian identified herself with a bow that caused some of her long dark hair to fall in front of her shoulders. "Please take care of us." Shinji realized that she was speaking English, too... and so was everyone else who had been on the bus, including himself.
"Mr. Michaelis told me to expect you, Ms. Katsuragi. He said something about you being in charge of the youngsters. I can't put them all in one apartment, but I can do the next-best thing. See me after everybody's picked where y'all want to live, and I'll give you duplicate keys to their places."
"I suppose that will have to do. And I'm surprised that our bus driver talked with you about us before we arrived."
Harley looked puzzled. "Your bus driver? The Michaelis I'm talking about is one of the higher-ups in the company that owns this building."
"Maybe they're related," Kaji suggested.
"What do we do now, Mr. Waters?" Asuka asked.
"Young lady, 'Mr. Waters' is my father. Call me Harley. And what we do now is get you settled in before we go shopping for a change of clothes for you. I can tell from none of you having even a backpack that you all showed up with just the clothes on your backs, and it's part of my job to fix that state of affairs. And after that we can have some beach time fun! It won't be fancy, but I can barbecue some ribs and cobs of corn for everybody, and I got some cornbread at the store just this morning."
It didn't take long for the folks from Tokyo-3 to decide who was going to live with whom - the longest, and loudest, argument was between Harley (who insisted that a teenage boy was not going to live with two young women if he had anything to say about it, and he did) and Misato (who insisted that Shinji had lived with both her and Asuka for months without any incidents, and Harley seemed surprisingly incredulous of her argument). That apparent impasse was finally solved by Kaji suggesting Shinji live with him.
Harley used the label-maker that he usually used to mark which wire was which on a bike's electrical loom to put temporary signs on the mailboxes. Apartment 1 was claimed by Kensuke Aida and Toji Suzuhara, the two male classmates of Shinji who'd made the trip with him; Misato Katsuragi and Asuka Soryu were in apartment 2; apartment 3 was of course already Harley's; Rei Ayanami and Hikari Horaki were in apartment 4, and finishing off the apartments on the (not as windy) Sound side of the building was apartment 5 where Dr. Ritsuko Akagi and her assistant Maya Ibuki lived. Shinji Ikari and Ryoji Kaji were in apartment 6, the westernmost apartment on the Gulf side of the building - Kaji chose it because the sandy soil right beside the building looked like a good place to start a watermelon patch. True to his word, Harley gave Misato keys to apartments 1, 2, 4, and 6... which annoyed Asuka when she realized that meant Misato had a key to Kaji's apartment and she didn't.
Then they had a quick vote: sleep or shop? The need for clothes won out over the need to recover from jet lag.
Shinji dropped the envelope that Mr. Michaelis had slipped to him on the bus onto his new apartment's kitchen counter in an otherwise bare apartment. A quick glance revealed a clean slate save for basic furniture - a table and chairs in the kitchen; a TV set, a couple of chairs, and a coffee table in the living room; and beds and chests of drawers in the bedrooms... but nothing to give the apartment any character. Would everything turn out the all the same once this unfamiliar new apartment was filled up? He hardly had a chance to ponder that before Misato called him out to join the others.
Together, they headed out to the nearest stores, in a minivan that just barely held them all.
"Hey, Shinji, how do I look?" Shinji turned to look at Asuka from the rack of shirts and beach shorts that he had been searching through to find something simple that fit, and found his redheaded classmate and Eva pilot wearing a skimpy red bikini similar to the one she had gotten for her trip on the Over the Rainbow.
"Umm, it's ... very nice, Asuka," he answered a bit unsteadily while looking around for someone, anyone else in their group. "But I don’t think Waters-san wanted us to buy expensive bathing suits, just something we can wear tomorrow to go get more, proper clothing."
"No, it's fine Shinji-kun," he heard the older man answer from behind him. "And didn't I already tell y'all that 'Mr. Waters' is my father? Call me Harley. One of the good things about living on the beach is that as long as it's warm enough, swimsuits are considered at least somewhat decent clothes, though you'll want a cover-up to protect your skin, as well as a pair of shorts and sandals." Shinji watched in amazement as Wa- Harley-san caused the redhead to go from scandalous with barely anything on to something that had all the necessary things covered completely but still look good - if pure tourist.
It didn't take long for everyone to find what they needed at the tourist shop, and Harley promised them that in the next couple of days they would all get to go up to the local mall or outlet store to purchase more clothes and some knickknacks to personalize their apartments. Shinji, Toji, Kensuke and Kaji had each gotten two pair of shorts and four shirts while the girls, Misato, Dr. Akagi and Lieutenant Ibuki had all chosen swimsuits of various styles along with matching cover-ups. The swimsuits ranged from Asuka's skimpy red bikini to something called a "Tankini" that Misato and Hikari had each picked up in different colors, to the full-on unitard type suits of Dr. Akagi, Lt. Ibuki and Rei. Shinji was further surprised when the man paid almost five hundred dollars American on just this little bit of clothing for them. "Are all the clothes around here this expensive, Harley-san?” Shinji asked with a cringe.
"Not in the least," he answered. "This is a tourist trap that over-charges for cheaply-made crap. When we go to a real store instead of this thieves' institute, we'll find things much more reasonably priced so long as we're not buying name brand."
The store manager shot Harley a dirty look and said, "Don't believe him, kid - this guy can't even tune his own bike without looking at a Chilton's, let alone tune mine." Then the store manager and Harley laughed and slapped each other on the back, leaving Shinji wondering just what the relationship between them was. After a moment of male bonding, the store manager turned back to Shinji. "I've told Harley a hundred times that it's the store's location that makes everything so expensive. Everything's cheaper on the mainland, but you're not on the mainland right now. That's Santa Rosa Island for you."
Eventually, Harley collected his change, passed the bags out to the people who chose the outfits in them, and walked the group outside and back down the parking lot to where their minivan was parked.
Gulfside Rest, Pensacola Beach, Florida, USA
9:45 PM CT
Shinji was finally alone. He decided that it was finally time to look at the letter that the bus driver had handed him. It was quite the read.
Quote:Mr. Ikari,
You are no longer in the same universe that you grew up in. Your desire for a normal life but also a life with magic caused the divine instrumentality that maintains your universe to have a glitch. The same instrumentality also maintains other realities, and there were other people in other universes who did other things that also caused glitches. It is not completely your fault that things happened the way they did.
Most of your classmates do not remember Third Impact. This is for their own sanity. When people arrive in this universe, causality has a brief moment when it is malleable enough to adapt to the presence of the newcomers, to make it seem like they have always been present here. We simply took advantage of that effect to ease your friends' minds in accordance with what you wanted. Rei Ayanami remembers Third Impact, but she is a very special case
The adults in your group - Misato Katsuragi, Ryoji Kaji, Ritsuko Akagi, and Maya Ibuki - also remember Third Impact. If you have any difficulty in adapting to the world you find yourself in, please reach out to whichever of them you trust the most.
Shinji thought for a moment, and realized that the adult who he trusted the most, on or off that list, was Kaji.
Quote:If they are not able to help you, then reach out to your building manager, Harley Waters. As an outsider who is familiar with your life in Tokyo-3, Harley has an unusual viewpoint that might provide new insights into your troubles.
And if that doesn't work, ask Harley to put you in contact with people in the other residences that are owned by Funtom Property Management. That will definitely change your perspective, although that runs the risk of shattering your perspective to the point that you would be unable to cope with anything, so please do not make that request without careful consideration and planning.
Please know that you are liked and respected, and in some cases you are loved. You are the star of your own story - that phrase is a cliché, but in your case it is truer than you might think. Have faith in yourself and stand tall.
Belldandy.
Shinji read the letter again, more slowly.
Then he thought about what it said. He also wondered who Belldandy was.
10:10 PM CT
"Kaji," Misato said looking at the local news playing on the TV in the communal living room in apartment 3. "Something isn't right. This area should be under water so deep we should need helium rigs to sit where we are."
"Yet we don't," her boyfriend answered laconically.
"And none of the kids seems to think anything's out of the ordinary."
"Except Shinji. He has something on his mind that he isn't sharing with even me."
"I can't find anyone talking about the Angels," she said while shutting off the TV. "There is also nothing on about the UN, except for some crap about somebody claiming global warming is a hoax that they're trying to put over on everyone. Not a word about Second Impact; it’s like it never even happened, like the last fifteen years we lived not only didn’t occur, but something else completely different happened."
"It's definitely strange, Misato," Kaji answered. "What did you mean about somebody calling global warming 'crap'?"
Misato sighed. "The TV show was full of people saying global warming doesn't exist, or there's no consensus about it, and you know as well as I do that that's crap. That's why I turned it off."
"Actually, I don't. I'm not the one who was visiting a scientist parent at the Antarctic research base during Second Impact. You're going to have to explain to me why saying global warming doesn't exist is crap."
Misato smiled at Kaji's question. "You've got a girl all to yourself in a cozy room, and you want to hear her talking about science? Well, okay, I can do that."
"Thanks."
"You know the term 'greenhouse effect', right?" After Kaji nodded, Misato continued. "You should, since it was coined nine decades before Second Impact. But it wasn't until the 1930s that the effect was tied to carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, by... what was his name again... Guy Callendar. But nobody believed him until the 1950s when Hans Seuss presented supporting evidence."
"Seuss? Like the children's book writer?"
Misato smiled. "No relation. But that is why I remembered his name. After that, there was a lot of evidence for man-made global warming. President Johnson set up a science committee that confirmed it back in 1965. NATO picked up on it in 1969, and it was pretty much confirmed by the ice cores drilled at the Vostok Station. Confirming those cores were right was part of what we were doing in Antarctica when Second Impact happened."
Kaji blinked in surprise. "You never told me about that. So this is personal to you."
"In a way, yes."
"I'll look up everything you've told me once we're somewhere near a library, just so I can fill in the gaps that you don't remember and probably never learned."
Just then, Harley came down the stairs from his private apartment. "Oh, you're still here? When I didn't hear the TV, I thought you'd gone back to your own places."
Kaji smiled. "No, Misato was just about to tell me why saying there's a lack of consensus about global warming is crap."
Harley looked puzzled. "Isn't it? There's a lot of disagreement among scientists."
Misato shook her head. "There's been consensus that global warming is real since 1985 - those ice cores that the Russians drilled at Vostok Station convinced pretty much everybody."
"Just 'pretty much'?"
Misato frowned at Harley. "There's a difference between consensus and unanimity."
It was Kaji's turn to chuckle. "Yeah, my bosses are rarely unanimous, but they always have consensus before they tell me to do something for them."
"Oh. I guess you're using the word differently than the news folks do." Harley shook his head. "There's really consensus?"
"Since before I was born," Misato confirmed.
"But is there consensus about why it's happening?"
Misato nodded. "There's only one thing that could make that big a difference that fast. We did it. Humanity as a whole."
"But aren't there other factors involved? Like sunspots?"
"No, sunspots don't change how much heat the Sun gives off to any measurable extent. Claiming sunspots or solar variation cause global warming is like claiming a single drop of racing fuel in a full tank of gas will make your car - or bike - go faster."
"You'd need more than an entire tank of high-octane fuel to make a bike go faster. You'd also have to re-tune it, and ... Oh, I get it now. You're saying somebody needed to do something to make global warming happen."
Misato smiled. "To make it happen so quickly, yes."
"So quickly? It's been over a century."
"It's only been one century."
Harley thought for a moment. "Oh. I guess it depends on how you look at it. I don't suppose you're anywhere near done and I can lock up for the night?"
Kaji and Misato could tell that Harley didn't want to talk about the matter right now. Kaji didn't want to talk about it, either. "Sure," he replied. "See you tomorrow."
Kaji escorted Misato home, then continued to the apartment that he shared with Shinji... only to be surprised to find the boy was still awake. "What's up?"
"Oh, hi, Kaji. When we got off the bus today, the bus driver gave me a letter. I just read it."
"Anything special in the letter?"
"Yeah. I think you should read it, too."
Kaji did so, and realized that he wasn't going to be getting any sleep that night.
September 20, 2016
7:00 AM CT
"What are these?" Shinji asked as he picked up one of the cigarette-pack-sized plastic boxes. Apparently, while Shinji and Kaji had been talking all night, Harley had gone out and acquired these things for everybody; there was enough that they could have one each.
"Good morning, Shinji," Harley replied without taking his attention away from the fire that he was burning in the grill pit where he had roasted the corn and barbecued the ribs for yesterday's dinner. "Those are portable phones, so you can stay in contact with each other and me no matter where you are. They're also portable computer terminals that connect to the Internet. They flip open and one should have your picture on its screen, to show you that it belongs to you."
Shinji flipped open the phone in his hand, to see a screen that lit up with picture of Hikari that obviously hadn't been taken last night. "That one isn't mine", he muttered. The sheer perversity of the universe resulted in him not finding his phone until he had looked at every other phone on the table. "Did you take all of these pictures yourself?"
"What?" Harley finally had a decent fire going in the pit. "No, I can't use a camera worth spit. I got them from the briefing package that Funtom Property Management sent me about all of you."
"Waters-san, I remember Third Impact. I know I'm not where I grew up. When were these pictures taken?"
"Please, Shinji, call me..." Then the rest of what the boy had said registered. "Oh. We can talk about Third Impact later, okay? The photos really did come out of that briefing package. I don't know where Funtom got them from."
"Where who got what from?" Misato asked, and she and Kaji walked over to the grill pit.
"Where my bosses got the photos of you in the portable phones over by Shinji," Harley answered as he put three large frypans onto the grating over the grill pit. "There's one for each of you," he continued as Shinji held out the appropriate phones to Misato and Kaji.
"Thanks, Shinji," said Kaji as he accepted his phone. "I was just telling Misato about our conversation last night."
"What he told me explains so much," Misato added. "You and Rei really remember Third Impact? None of the other children seem to."
Harley growled. "We will talk about that subject later. Not now, when any of those children could show up." He took a deep breath, and released it. "Now, who's ready for a good old-fashioned American breakfast?" he asked in his usual tone of voice.
"Lots of foods count as American," Kaji pointed out.
"I've got eggs, bacon, sausage, batter for flapjacks, and vegetable oil so that no lard makes contact with the flapjacks, for Rei's sake. And I've got grits in the slow cooker over there." Harley gestured toward the table that also supported the bread and toaster.
"Everything you said sounds good," replied Kaji.
"Just bacon and eggs for me," said Misato.
Shinji thought for a moment. "You don't have anything for a Japanese style breakfast?"
"Sorry, Shinji, but I only know how to cook American style. I don't have a clue how to do an Eastern style breakfast."
Shinji's reply was, "Let’s see what you have to work with."
While Shinji was doing what he could with what he could find, Harley cooked some flapjacks and fried eggs and meat for the two other adults. Quietly, he said, "Misato, Kaji, there is something I need to explain to you that I think you don't realize quite yet, and unfortunately I have very little to prove it. I need to tell the adults before I tell the kids because it's going to be tougher for you to believe. Maybe Asuka will be a bit difficult to convince, but that's mostly because she never paid attention to her teacher’s lectures."
"We're not on our Earth, or at least not in one that followed our original history."
Harley blinked in surprise at Misato's reply. "Maybe it won't be so difficult to explain. What convinced you of that part of it?"
Kaji smiled. "We're standing right here right now. We're not swimming."
"Yeah, that's a pretty obvious sign. This world never saw Second Impact, there was never a Gehirn project, never a Human Instrumentality Project, no U.N. Council on the matter. No such field as metaphysical biology, either." Seeing the astonished looks on their faces out of the corner of his eye, he continued as he flipped Kaji's flapjack. "The fact of the matter is that to this world, your world is nothing more than a story written by a clinically depressed man who had a vision that was tragically cut short by idiot television producers when they forced him to wrap what should have been the third season up in a two-hour movie using minimum resources. It wasn't the first and it won't be the last, unfortunately."
Misato was speechless. Kaji was better prepared for that news, after his late-night talk with Shinji. "So what happened?"
"I'll loan you the DVD set I have of both the original and the remake," Harley replied. "Tomorrow, while the kids are ... doing something else."
"Remake?"
"Greed of course won out on the producers' part, and because the fandom has been building over the years they decided a few years ago to go back and redo the series in a series of movies. I haven't even watched the remake, it hasn't been finished yet, but the fan arguments that started not long after the third movie came out haven't been giving me hope.”
Misato finally got her brain back in gear. "Who was responsible?"
"Responsible for what?" Asuka asked from right behind the small group. "Good morning, Kaji!"
"Good morning, everyone," Hikari and Toji added.
Harley sighed. "Looks like I don't have time to talk any more. We've got eggs, bacon, sausage, flapjacks, and grits for breakfast this morning, plus whatever Shinji's managed to whip up. Who wants what?"
8:15 AM CT
Asuka grimaced as she listened to the entirety of Harley's explanation of why they were here, and just where "here" was. She remembered enough about uncertainty theory and probability theory from her Institute courses in Germany to make sense of it all - Asuka probably understood it better than Harley did - but she could tell just by looking at their faces that her classmates had no idea what he was saying.
Except for Shinji and Rei. Wondergirl was Wondergirl, so it was no surprise that she wasn't showing any emotions. But baka-Shinji? Something wasn't kosher. But that was a puzzle for another time, when she could get the two of them alone and ask questions.
She tuned Harley out and started exploring the "cellphone" that he'd provided for her before breakfast. What else was she going to do before they all piled into the minivan to go prowl the local mall?
Settling in with the device, she poked at the virtual buttons for a few minutes with her thumbs until a screen that she didn’t quite understand popped up. What was she supposed to do with just a text input box?
She noticed that Harley's explanation was over. She also noticed that most of her classmates were also playing with their phones, so she decided to ask. "Hey, Harley..."
"Yes, Asuka? What's wrong?"
"What's a 'Google'?"
9:47 AM CT
As the others got into the minivan, Rei cornered Harley. "You are holding back information."
Harley sighed. "I've told Shinji, I've told Kaji, I've told Misato, and now I'm telling you. We will talk about Third Impact tomorrow."
"I see no reason for the delay."
"Rei, look at your classmates. Everybody's having fun. Why ruin their day by bringing up bad memories? Tomorrow is soon enough."
She thought for a moment. "That is acceptable, as long as we have the conversation."
Pensacola, Florida, USA
10:44 AM CT
"This isn't a mall," Asuka griped as she, Hikari and Rei walked through the central thoroughfare of the mall again. "It's so small it would barely register as a shopping arcade in Tokyo-3."
"Soryu-san," Rei said softly, "I have looked at the maps of this region. This is not a large city and is obviously very spread out. This is likely all that the local population needs."
Asuka snorted, and Hikari shook her head, "Rei is right, Asuka," the class representative added. "These people don't exactly seem to be ..." at that point. Hikari struggled for the words to describe the situation. "They don't seem to be pretentious about how things are set up. They're very relaxed and relaxing."
"I am sure there is a logical reason for the way things are," Rei commented causing Hikari to nod. "I wonder what Lt. Ibuki is doing." Rei's apparent non-sequitur caused the other two girls to look the same direction Rei was facing only to see the back of Maya Ibuki going into a store across from FYE.
"Asuka, your English is better than mine," Hikari commented with a grimace at the admission, not realizing that she'd been speaking English fluently for nearly a full day. "What store is that?" Turning to look at her friend, Hikari could see the beat redness of the redhead's face.
"Oh, that would be Victoria's Secret," said Asuka with a slightly sharkish grin. "It's not a place for good little girls like you, Hikari. Unless you're not as much of a good little girl as you pretend to be. Although I must admit, I never figured Maya to be the type."
"Toji, we gotta go into this store!"
"What's got you all excited, Kensuke?"
"They sell wargames that we can play indoors!"
Toji took a look, and supposed that board games that simulated military battles were better than wargames played outside. There was less chance of getting hurt, for one thing. "I suppose..." Then he notice the price tags. "No. Look at that - a hundred bucks for a single tank."
"That's not so bad."
"That's American money. The equivalent of ten thousand yen."
"Oh..."
"And I'm not going to let my roommate spend that much money on a game when you don't have clean clothes to wear yet."
"Awwwwww..."
Kaji pushed his plate away. "Harley, you know some good people around here." The spy had just finished eating a large lunch of sushi and ramen from one of the mall restaurants and was pleasantly stuffed. "How do you know so many people around here?"
"Well, it helps that I grew up here. Also, since there are so very few things to do around here to pass one's dead time, you tend to talk and get to know people instead of just pass them by on the streets. Even if they don't ride. That said, while I know a few people in the area, I don't know everyone. And the strength of who I know is in each individual's strategic locations."
"So," Misato said, "it's not so much how many people you know but who you know that can help us."
"Somewhat," Harley answered. "Choosing lunch while the kids looked for things they needed was easy; Chuck is the best sushi chef in town and I've been eating at his place for years no matter where it's been. That said, there are some things, documents mostly, that you're going to need, that'll help you guys blend in. It's going to be difficult enough since most people are going to figure you and the kids for major geeks."
"Why do you say that, Harley?" Ritsuko asked. She'd left the lab coat at home and was wearing a pair of men's shorts (primarily for the pockets, it looked like) and an oversized t-shirt, but it was obvious that she wanted to change into the pantsuit that was in her shopping bags. "Is there something else we should know?"
Harley nodded. "Plenty, and I'll tell you all of it over the course of the next few weeks simply because dropping it on you all at once would be too much for me to explain, let alone for y'all to digest." He noticed that everyone else had finished their lunches, too. "That said, let's collect the kids and get the groceries so we can go back to the beach, I think we've inflicted enough damage on your benefactor's bank accounts for one day."
As the others gathered their purchases, Harley paid for the meal, making sure to tip well and make the busboy's job as easy as he could. Chuck liked Harley as a customer as much as Harley liked Chuck as a cook; they both knew that what goes around, comes around.
Shinji was carrying a bag with the basics of a wardrobe, added to what Harley had bought him the day before. He didn't really need anything colorful like a Hawaiian-style shirt; the white shirts he had were good enough.
He was looking at something more important than clothes. He couldn't cook with clothes.
The store had some basic items on sale, so he started with dinnerware service for six. While Shinji and Kaji could probably live with service for two, he knew they would end up inviting Misato, Rei, and Asuka over eventually. Also, the kitchen in their apartment really looked empty. Then he added a dish drainer and a washcloth, a "starter" set of knives, a small cutting board, a kettle, a wok, and a couple of bamboo steamers. He wanted more, but he could make do with what he had. Adding up the prices, he saw that he had just enough money left to cover everything.
But he'd forgotten about the sales tax.
Luckily, Kaji found him in the store before he had to put anything back. "Harley was just saying we'd spent enough of our benefactor's money for one day, so don't tell him that I helped you out," he whispered as he added a canister labelled "Tea" to the pile.
"Right. And thanks."
They had barely returned from the mall with their purchases when a small band of motorcyclists pulled up to the building and parked. Harley grimaced. Thanks to an email he'd gotten two days prior from Heather Raven in Philadelphia he'd known they were coming, and he'd prepared for their overnight stay. He didn't know the anime they came from, and figured he didn't need to just to play host for a night. But in all the excitement of the last day or so he'd forgotten to let his new residents know that there would be other displacees joining them for dinner and breakfast. Oh, well, nothing for it now.
He stepped out into the lot. "Welcome to Gulfside Rest," he called out. "I expect you'd be the Okanoue Girls High School Motorcycle Club? And butler?" he added with a nod to the elderly man who accompanied the girls. Harley hoped he'd pronounced that right.
"That's us!" replied a girl with a mop of curly black hair held back from her face by a white scarf tied into a headband. "I'm Onsa," she continued, "and this is Hane, Chisame, Rin, Lime, Hijiri, and Mister Hayakawa!" As she named them, each one acknowledged their name with a wave or a nod.
"I'm the manager here, Harley Waters," he said. He glanced over at the motorcycles. Nothing made by Harley-Davidson, he noted, nodding approvingly. "Oh, by the way, nice bikes," he added, which got him a chorus of "thank you"s from most everyone, and a silent bow over clasped hands from Lime. "Come on in, take a load off, and we'll get you set up with beds for the night."
"Oh, that would be wonderful," Hane, a sweet-faced brunette in jodhpurs and jacket, said. "We've been on the road all day, since Atlanta."
"Didn't help that the route sent us right through the middle of the city," groused Rin, a blonde in a pink one-piece riding suit with a prominent Suzuki "S" logo centered on her generous bustline. "What was so important that we had to go halfway around the Centennial Olympic Park and its amphitheater?" she demanded.
"I would not be surprised if it had added an hour to our travel time," Hayakawa noted placidly.
Harley waited patiently as they gathered up their rucksacks and backpacks while most of them griped and complained about the mysterious itinerary Heather had told him about. Only Hane and Lime, a girl with black pigtails who had yet to take off her helmet, didn't contribute. Behind him, he heard doors opening and realized the situation he was suddenly in.
"Ladies," he said quietly, then nodded to Hayakawa, "and gentleman, my tenants just arrived less than a day ago and I haven't been able to explain matters to them yet. They know something odd is going on, but I want to break the details to them gently. Can you please not mention your origins -- or theirs -- during your stay?"
They glanced among themselves, then Hane chirped "Sure!" which triggered a chorus of agreement. Lime said nothing, but gave a thumbs-up.
Onsa added, "You're our host -- what you say, goes."
Harley let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Thank you." He looked over his shoulder to see the pilots and Misato approaching. "Time for introductions, then. Try not to react if you recognize them."
An hour later the Bakuon!! girls were lounging around Apartment 3's living room, talking with the Evangelion teens while the adults clustered closer to the kitchen to chat with Harley as he cooked. Dinner that night was fried potatoes and onions, a staple of Harley's, along with genuine Conecuh sausage on the side for the meat-eaters. It was something quick and easy to make, and allowed him to talk while he cooked.
It was obvious that at least some of the girls had recognized the Evangelion cast, but true to their promise they said nothing. Harley was thankful not only for that, but for how easily the two groups had blended. His own high school years weren't exactly typical by any measure, but he thought he remembered there being a lot more of a social divide between fourteen-year-olds and seventeen-year-olds. Apparently not here. The older girls were waxing enthusiastically about motorcycles and cycle touring, and the younger teens eagerly responded -- even Asuka, who seemed to want to be above the discussion even as she took part. And to his surprise both Rei and Shinji were more than just politely interested; he'd have to look into that later.
That one girl, Lime, still had yet to take her helmet off, though. What was up with that?
She still hadn't even as they ate dinner, and Harley was getting very curious. As the chatter about cycling and trips drew in the adults, and Harley shared his own experiences as a biker, he occasionally glanced her way. Every time he looked there was less food on her plate, but he never actually saw her eating anything. Nor, he realized, had he ever seen her holding a knife or fork, although they too were never in the same place twice. By the end of the dinner Lime's plate was empty, her utensils laid neatly atop it, and she was delicately wiping the bottom front of her helmet with a napkin. At that point he gave up trying to understand, suspecting that doing so might cost him what little sanity this job had left him with.
"Looks like everyone enjoyed dinner," he said instead, to vigorous agreement from all sides.
"That's been one of the best parts of this trip!" Hane exclaimed.
"Yeah," Chisame said. "All the delicious new food we've gotten to try along the way."
"Thank you for cooking," Hijiri said in a very formal manner.
"You're welcome," Harley replied as he began to gather the plates. "Now I normally close up between ten and ten-thirty, but until then you're free to stay here and talk, read or watch TV if you want. Oh, and I'd like to talk with the adults for a few hours tomorrow. Rei and Ritsuko each reminded me that I have to have a discussion about a few things, and I want to clear things with at least Misato before I talk to everybody."
"What are we going to do while you talk with the grown-ups?" Toji asked.
"We have a beach, right across the road. Have fun!"
The adults groaned; they wanted to have fun, too. Rei asked, "May I join you for your talk?"
Harley thought for a moment, then answered, "Sure. It was your idea." He winked at Shinji when he said that, and hoped that the teenager would get the hint that he was invited, too.
Gulfside Rest, Pensacola Beach, FL, USA
September 21, 2016
9:00 AM CT
The motorcycle girls left right after breakfast, but not before a round of goodbyes that included unexpected hugs for everyone who wanted one. Toji wasn't going to complain about that, but he was careful to not let any go on too long when Hikari was watching. Not that he got any long hugs, unlike the apartment manager (which was odd) and Shinji (which was odder). And after Shinji's second hug, the Demon made a fuss and hung back from everyone else.
With the goodbyes finished, they all got on their bikes and they all took off. "For Kissimmee!" Hane had said during breakfast. "The friend who arranged this trip got us all passes to Disney World!"
Which sounded cool, but for once Toji thought he was getting the better deal.
"What a view," Kensuke said, looking at the white sand of the beach and the bright blue waters of the Gulf of Mexico.
"You said it, buddy," Toji said beside him, the jock's gaze never leaving the swimsuited girls in front of them who had immediately broken into a run for the water as soon as it came into view.
"So nice," Kensuke added from beneath his own bundle of burdens. Harley had handed the group a cooler, two beach umbrellas, four beach towels, and all the little things that a trip to the beach requires. The cooler held a picnic lunch along with the selection of drinks, and Harley had also provided a trash bag for the debris that the contents of the cooler would generate. The problem, as far as Toji and Kensuke could tell, was that they as boys were the designated pack mules for the trip.
Their reverie was broken as Asuka yelled back to them, "Hey stooges, are you going to stand there all day or are you going to come down here and set things up?"
"When did we get designated as your servants?" Toji called back with a smile.
"Toji," Hikari called from the water's edge, "no arguments today, please. We have a marvellous, beautiful day to ourselves out here and I intend to enjoy it. So no fighting."
"All right, class rep," Toji answered with a sigh. "Just... get her to keep things civil, please."
Hikari nodded and then turned to the redhead. "Asuka, you know Toji doesn't like being bossed around," the class rep continued. "Please don't antagonize him; I want us all to enjoy this trip."
"All right, Hikari," Asuka replied. "Let's find a good spot and set up; the day isn't getting any longer."
The pigtailed brunette nodded and waved the boys toward the girls while looking up and down the beach itself, "What do you think about that spot over there?" she asked the rest of the group while pointing a slight bit to the west of where the boardwalk through the dunes let out onto the beach itself.
"We should be easy to find there," Toji commented. "Does anybody know why Shin-kun and Rei didn't come with us?"
As Toji asked that (and didn't get an answer), Shinji, Rei, Misato, Kaji, Ritsuko, Maya, and Harley were crowded into the latter's living room - which was quickly becoming the building's common room.
"The first thing we need to talk about," Harley announced, "is Third Impact."
"I remember it happening, and I remember that I had to decide what was going to happen to everybody," Shinji replied. "What do you remember, Rei?"
"All of it," she answered. "I hurt you by making you decide. I gave each individual exactly what they wanted in their existence. I destroyed the entirety of humanity and pooled what was left into one entity that had no sense of individuality."
Nobody else said anything for a long moment.
"I don't remember that much," said Kaji, finally. "I do remember my existence as an individual ending. What I don't remember is my existence as an individual starting again. That just... happened." The other adults, save for Harley, nodded in agreement.
"It's obvious from the way the other children have been behaving that none of them remember a thing about it," offered Ritsuko. "I suspect that they don't want to remember it. Humans want to remember good times and forget horrible times. There are several names for the condition; the kindest and most accurate, in my mind, is 'Selective Amnesia'."
"Are you saying we shouldn't tell them?" Misato asked.
"That might be the kindest course to take," suggested Maya.
Harley sighed. "Normally, I'd agree with you there. But your situation isn't normal."
"That's right," Shinji added. "The letter mentioned that you're familiar with my life in Tokyo-3."
"Letter? What letter?" Harley asked before Ritsuko could.
Shinji pulled it out of his pocket. "This letter. I got it when we first arrived here."
Kaji put his hand on Shinji's shoulder. "Maybe you should read it to everyone."
Shinji did so, adding, "I don't know who this 'Belldandy' person is."
"I do," said Kaji. "She's a goddess. A made-up goddess from a manga that I read when I was not much older than you, but still a goddess."
Harley nodded in agreement. "And she's as real as you and I are. That's the second thing that we need to talk about, and it ties in with why we can't leave the other children ignorant of Third Impact."
"You are implying that we are also made-up people," Rei stated tonelessly.
"I can believe that," Shinji said slowly.
Harley nodded. "I'm not implying it, I'm outright saying it. And from what I've heard from other people doing the same job as me, you aren't the only ones." He opened a box that he had pulled out of his collection earlier, and pulled a DVD from it. "Here's the proof: the TV series that was made about you." He kept talking as he loaded the disk into the player. "I'll give you five warnings before I start this. First, what you're about to see is what my world has been told has happened in your world. Each of you have your own perceptions of what occurred since Shinji's arrival in Tokyo-3, however this is probably the most impartial view of it all. That said, it is the vision of a clinically depressed mind, so it's going to be biased.
"Second, the entire story was written to destroy the entertainment tropes that had cropped up in the giant robot genre. The Oedipus complex, the hotshot-foreign-pilot love interest, a whole slew of other things.
"Third, since you lived this, you know the contexts of any decision you made in any scene that shows something where you are involved. I don't. Honestly, this mostly revolves around the children, but I figured that I could show you first and get your help in explaining these things to the children since you know them better than I do.
"Fourth, there will be scenes that will embarrass you, scenes that will show your deepest, darkest desires, and those times and reasons why you hate yourselves so much that you don't think you get to have any happiness. When you see them, remember to keep them in context, and if you're feeling particularly vulnerable about any of your memories from that world, now or while you're watching, be sure to discuss it amongst yourselves.
"Finally, and the reason why we can't keep this from the children, this isn't the only copy of the series in Pensacola Beach, let alone in Florida. There is no way we can keep them from finding out everything in the series, including how they died during Third Impact. Now, if you are ready, I'll start the show."
Nobody noticed Rei leaving partway through the fifth episode.
11:30 AM CT
Malcolm Reynolds was not panicking. Panicking would reflect manic action, at least motion, or maybe yelling to cause others to take action. Instead, he was laying on something soft but firm that moulded to his body, with Inara snuggled against him, and he was staring up at the edge of an umbrella and a bright blue sky beyond it.
"Cap'n?" he heard Jayne say off to his left.
"Yeah, Jayne?" he replied in a low voice, trying not to wake Inara.
"I thought Wash died when we was running from the Reavers to Mister Universe?" The question caused Mal to sit up, dumping Inara to the side as he looked around, first at Jayne, and then at the rest of his crew. Surprisingly, it was his entire crew, even the ones who had died. To his left, Jayne sat in a chair that he just barely fit into beyond where Wash and Zoe lay on a blanket under a large umbrella, spooned together. To his right, Kaylee and River were both snuggled up to Simon under another umbrella, Shepard Book asleep in a chair beyond them.
All around them was fine sand, dunes behind them and a beautiful blue expanse five meters in front of them. "Jayne, I'm afraid we might be dead." Mal said as the people around him started to stir. "Because this sure looks like Heaven to me."
"You are not dead," a calm voice said from behind them. Mal and Jayne shared a look and then looked behind them to find a blue-haired girl standing on the top of one of the dunes. "And while this is a public beach, I don't think the local authorities allow camping here."
Inara was grumbling beside him as he got up and shaded his eyes while looking at the girl. "You say we aren't dead," he replied, and the girl nodded. "But two of my crew who were dead are now here with us and healthy; how do you explain that?"
The girl smiled, "You were probably picked up by the same multidimensional confluence that deposited my friends and I here," she answered. "This means you are probably the other group of people our host was expecting.
"What the hell is it that she just said, Mal?" Jayne asked.
The blue-haired girl addressed the mercenary with a flat look on her face, "Someone with a lot of power had an accident that caused multiple realities to overlap, dumping you here."
Jayne, eloquent as ever, said, "Huh?"
The girl facepalmed in frustration, "God went oops, you were dropped in a world where you never really existed and are stuck here until they fix it."
"Oh," Jayne answered, "Is there someplace we can get something to eat nearby?"
"Oh God, Harley, turn it off." Misato buried her face in her hands.
"I sometimes forget how much we actually put those kids through," Kaji commented beside her while Harley stopped the DVD player and ejected the disk.
"I think we can leave it there for now," agreed Harley, sliding the disc into its sleeve. "But you need to see the rest of the series at some point." Setting the multi-disk case aside, he picked up a serving tray with almost enough glasses to go around. "Sorry, Shinji and Rei, you don't get one of these. Bourbon's only for the grown-ups... Where's Rei?"
The front door opened to reveal the girl in question... leading eight adults and an older teenager, all of whom Harley recognized as being from a series called Firefly. "I found them on the beach. Can we keep them?"
Harley downed his own glass in one drink. "I think we're going to have to take them in."
9:30 PM CT
Kaji and Misato were walking on the beach, much to Asuka's displeasure.
"That anime series..." Kaji couldn't finish. But he didn't need to.
All Misato said in response was "I wonder how much Maya knew. About the project that Commander Ikari was running under everyone else's noses and Ritsuko was helping him with."
"That's what you're worried about?"
"She is Ritsuko's assistant. But I didn't notice her acting oddly at all, back in Tokyo-3."
He took her hand in his, holding her as comfortingly as he could while in public. "You didn't have any reason to look."
They walked like that for a few minutes, neither saying anything.
September 22, 2016
9:30 AM CT
Kaji knocked on Harley's door. It didn't take long for the door to be opened.
"Kaji! What can I do for you?" Harley asked.
He held up the phone that Harley had given him. "The screen on this phone isn't very big. I'd like something larger for reading this world's 'internet'."
"I guess we can get you a proper computer and a desk to put it on. I think we can get you a desk at the Lowe's in Gulf Breeze, and if all you want to do is surf the web, one of the cheap laptops from the Walmart next door to Lowe's would be good enough."
So they headed into town, joined by Ritsuko after Kaji told them where they were going. Kaji picked up a Chromebook, Ritsuko bought a desktop computer, and they each bought flat-pack desks to put them on. "Looks like I've got to assemble some more furniture," Harley mock-complained.
Once they were back, Maya connected the computers to Harley's WiFi while Harley put together the desks. It was only then that they realized they'd forgotten to buy desk chairs.
"I'll just use a kitchen chair," Kaji offered before Ritsuko could ask to go out again.
"I suppose that'll do until we can get something better," she said grudgingly.
Once Kaji was alone - Shinji and the rest of the kids were enjoying the beach along with River - he decided to find out just how much the world knew about him.
He spent the next two hours reading EvaGeeks, and marked the site for further study.
Then he decided to find out whether there was anything on the internet about the people who had just moved in the day before. which lead him to spending another hour and a half reading "the Firefly and Serenity database" wiki.
Then he wondered whether it would be a good idea to find out who else was in this reality. Throwing caution to the winds, he searched for reports of fictional characters showing up in real places. There were more results than he expected.
And then he got his first email in this reality.
9:30 PM CT
Misato and Kaji's evening walks were becoming gossip fodder at Gulfside Rest - but they didn't care.
"You're not going to believe what I discovered today."
Misato raised one eyebrow. "I had a front-row seat for Second Impact. I can believe a lot."
"Okay. Do you remember a pre-Impact anime called Sailor Moon?"
"I loved that show! I really connected with the title character."
"She's in Ottawa. And so are her friends."
Misato blinked in surprise. "Okay, I wasn't expecting you to say that. How did you find that out?"
"That's even more unbelievable. I was sent an electronic mail message about it. There's a self-aware computer connected to the Internet in this world. It monitors the 'World Wide Web' that CERN invented back in 1991, looking for people like us, and when it saw I was doing the same searches, it got in touch with me."
"If I hadn't spent most of my recent life working with Ritsuko and the MAGI, I'd ask how much you've had to drink."
"Not a drop, I swear! Although I need a freakin' drink," Kaji admitted.
"Oh? Why?"
"That self-aware computer is out of a movie. It's HAL 9000."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Okay, now I need a freakin' drink, too."
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| All The Tropes Wiki Project, Part XXVII |
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Posted by: robkelk - 12-25-2022, 11:59 AM - Forum: All The Tropes Wiki Archive
- Replies (299)
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Previous thread is previous
(12-23-2022, 01:35 PM)GethN7 Wrote: (12-23-2022, 10:38 AM)mrobkelk Wrote: Geth, I'm still finding pages that haven't been reverted from when gethbot replaced [[Category:{{PAGENAME}}]] at the start of the category list with [[Category:{{subst:PAGENAME}}]] at the end of the category list.
I thought you said that you were going to fix that...
If you can give me a list of pages to fix, I can bot run that ASAP.
I'd rather not run that blind though, so a discrete number of pages (as opposed to leaving a bot on for days to scan our massive database) would be ideal.
Bob, we need new thread, this one is at it's limit.
I don't have a list. I'll continue to repair the damage that your bot run did as I find it.
We have another new account to keep an eye on: ^Charlotte9^
The troper's first edit in the Moderation queue is to remove the page image from "Uke". No explanation why. And there's nothing in the page image that would make it a violation of Miraheze's Terms of Service.
EDIT: Edit rejected and explanation given. We'll see whether the editor decides to engage us.
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| Isekai by Moonlight |
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Posted by: robkelk - 12-25-2022, 10:36 AM - Forum: Other People's Fanfiction
- Replies (131)
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Merry Christmas! Here's the first chapter of a new story for everyone on the forums... and only on the forums. It's a DW-sized chapter; Firefox estimates that it'll take 4-5 hours to read.
As of when I posted this chapter, I was already 119kb into the next chapter. No promises as to when it'll be finished. I'll update this header with direct links to future chapters after they're written and posted, since we don't have threadmarks on this forum. Listing in posting order, not story order:
The first seven chapters of this story, without the omake bits but with some visual accompaniment, are also available in a PDF, at this elegant and finely-crafted link.
The first seven chapters of this story, again without the omake bits, are also available on AO3, at this finely-crafted and elegant link.
Unfamiliar ceiling. Where was I?
Then I realized what I'd thought. Better take a look around.
It was a small bedroom... no, a studio apartment, and I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Not a mattress, a futon. Japan, or someplace inspired by it?
More importantly, why was I here, instead of in my own bed?
I got up. Rather more easily than I thought I would.
Looking around, I saw on a desk an envelope addressed to Rob Donaldson.
That was my name. Except that it wasn't.
The letter inside the envelope was written in Japanese, using a mix of all four character sets. I had no trouble reading the first few lines.
Somebody had messed with my brain. Quickly, I grabbed a pencil and paper, and checked whether I still knew how to read and write in English. Thankfully, I did.
The letter told me that I was in a different world, and in a rejuvenated body.
I ran for the washroom - which after the fact I realized I already knew where to find - and looked in the mirror.
My face looked back at me. My young-teen face. No acne, though.
Right. Of course I'm going to be at the peak of health if I'm going to be trapped in another world. Stupid genre conventions, making me live my teenage years all over again. I wasn't particularly fond of the first time around. Although I had to admit that my teen years, the first time around, were better than many people's.
I went back to the desk and finished reading the letter.
Apparently, I had some superhuman powers to go along with my youthened body.
Which meant I was going to need them. Stupid genre conventions. I expected that "Stupid genre conventions" was going to become my catch phrase in this world.
It would have been nice if the letter had told me what my powers were. Stupid genre conventions.
The letter - unsigned, of course; we can't expect the Random Omnipotent Being who did this to me to actually identify itself - ended with "Don't be late for your school transfer interview." Insert my new catch phrase here. Again.
So, which school was I transferring to, where is it, and where did they expect that I was transferring from?
And what was today's date? I switched on the TV, and discovered it was September 5, 1992. Which means everything I took for granted in the way of IT didn't exist yet. On top of the TV - of course the 1990s didn't have flat-screen TVs - I found another letter, this one addressed to me and having been sent from Kuritsu Juban Chuugakkou.
Ah, no.
Nooooo...
I've been dropped into Sailor Moon, haven't I?
In 1992. What was waiting for me outside - the Dark Kingdom or the Black Moon?
Isekai by Moonlight
Chapter 1
There was only one way to find out. I had to go look. After breakfast. Please tell me there's something in the fridge.
Good - I found eggs, ham, and bread. White bread, but what could I do? Ham and egg sandwich for breakfast. And coffee. With stevia instead of sugar because Japan sold stevia for decades before anybody in North America did. That's one less worry for me when watching my weight.
Fed and dressed, and the dishes cleaned, I realized somehow that I'd better hurry if I was going to make my appointment. I gathered up everything I needed and headed out...
...only to literally bump into a very attractive young-teenage girl.
"I'm terribly sorry!" We said it at the same time. Then, after a beat, I added, "I should have looked before stepping outside."
"No, it was my fault. I should have looked for people leaving their apartments." She looked to be my own age, to within a year or two - my new age, that is. Stupid genre conventions. She was tall for a Japanese girl; I guessed taller than five and a half feet. She looked surprised when she realized she had to look up to me. Even in Canada, I was on the tall side; I had a few inches on her. And she had lovely green eyes, and she wore her auburn hair in a ponytail, and she had rose piercings in her earlobes. She was gorgeous, despite the old-fashioned school uniform that she wore.
Stupid genre conventions. But maybe this one wasn't so stupid.
"Oh, but I'm being rude. I'm Rob Donaldson, and I'm pleased to meet you."
"Kino Makoto. Happy to meet you. But I have to be going; I have an appointment at the school I'm transferring to."
I held up my letter from Kuritsu Juban Chuugakkou, making sure that she could see the school's logo. "We wouldn't happen to be transferring in to the same school, would we?"
"What a coincidence!"
Stupid genre conventions. Although I expected this one as soon as I heard her name. "Shall we go together? Once I lock my door, that is."
She thought for a moment. "Why not? Us outsiders need to stick together, after all."
As I locked my door, I confirmed that I was in apartment 201. Which meant Makoto wasn't, so this wasn't the manga continuity. We headed down the stairs together, then out to the street ... where we noticed an Asahi vending machine.
Makoto-san smiled. "That's convenient."
"I thought people our age weren't supposed to drink alcohol in Japan."
"Who cares about that silly rule?"
"The neighbours, and the police." I sighed theatrically. "So don't get caught."
Her smile turned into a grin. "As if I would."
Once we were on the bus, I asked, "If you don't mind me asking, why are you changing schools at this time of year?"
She thought for a moment, then decided to give me the same answer that I knew she'd be giving a certain blonde shortly. "I'm being carried by the wind. I have a feeling that I'm needed here. So here I am. Why are you changing schools now?"
My mouth worked on automatic while I thought that I needed to look out for the Dark Kingdom. "In North America, September is the start of the school year. Although I just got to Japan, so that doesn't really matter, does it?"
"I guess not."
We continued to chat about matters of great import, such as the weather and where to find a decent convenience store near our apartment building. Then, after a lull in our conversation, Makoto announced, "Neither of us are going to fit in, you know."
I nodded. "I know. But, hey, we're neighbours and schoolmates. We have each other. And maybe we'll find somebody who'll accept us for who we are."
"You're a lot more optimistic that I am, Donarudoson-san."
I couldn't tell her that I fully expected that at least she would become friends with Usagi. And I suppressed a wince at her pronunciation of my name - my new name. "Kino-san, I know that we just met, but, please, call me Rob."
"Did I mangle your name that badly?"
I smiled to show that it wasn't that big a deal. "Well, yes. But I'm also used to being on a first-name basis with my friends. And I hope we can be friends."
"It's against all the unspoken rules to be on a first-name basis with somebody you just met less than an hour ago... Robu-san," she finished with a sly smile.
I'd forgotten just how much of a rule-breaker Makoto-san was shown to be in her first few episodes in the first season, despite her wearing an older school uniform instead of the sailor fuku that I knew was our new school's girls' uniform. And I never knew how devastatingly attractive she was with a sly smile on her face.
Then she added. "Will you call me Makoto?"
"We're neighbours and schoolmates - and friends." I used the Japanese word nakama there, not tomodachi, and hoped that I had the correct shade of meaning for what I wanted to say. "Of course I will, Makoto-san."
And the bus was at our stop. Not at the school - Kuritsu Juban Chuugakkou was a block and a half away. Makoto sighed. "Here we are," she said with a bit of trepidation.
"Let's do this," I replied with as much optimism as I could muster.
According to my transcript, Rob Donaldson's father was in Japan at the invitation of the government, and I was staying in Tokyo to get a stable education while he traveled from city to city doing... something. The records specifically didn't say.
Great. That meant I was probably a target even if I did nothing but study, because somebody was no doubt going to be inconvenienced by what he was doing.
Assuming he even existed, and wasn't somebody made up to justify my presence in Japan.
Stupid genre conventions.
The school's principal, one Naoya Takeuchi, raised an eyebrow at this part of the transcript, but let it pass without comment.
Once our paperwork was completed and approved, we were assigned to our classes - Makoto-san to class 6 and me to class 5.
I remembered that Usagi-san, Naru-san, and Umino-san were in class 1, so I didn't need to worry about being pestered about my private life by the first and third person on that list - at least, not until Usagi met Makoto and my neighbour introduced her new friend to me. Maybe I'd be lucky and nobody that I knew from the anime was in class 5.
No, of course I wasn't that lucky. Stupid genre conventions.
"The seat at the end of the first aisle is available, Donarudoson-san."
The homeroom teacher mangled my name just as badly as Makoto-san had. At least I had a seat in a corner, so I wouldn't have too many people around me. But who I did have sitting right next to me... May as well bow to the inevitable and run with the stupid genre conventions.
"Hello, I'm Rob Donaldson. Please be kind to me, sempai."
The student beside me looked up, and almost smiled. She replied in English, "I'm Ami Mizuno. I'm pleased to meet you. But I'm not your upperclassman, I'm your classmate."
I smiled and answered, "Thank you for the correction. I hope that we won't get into trouble for speaking English in class."
Ami-san looked surprised, then said in Japanese, "We shouldn't be having a private conversation in class, no. I'm sorry."
I bowed my head slightly. "I also apologize for my rudeness to the class."
The class appeared to accept our apologies. Some of them looked nervous, though. But I couldn't help towering over them; if they were intimidated by me being taller than anyone else in the room, there was nothing I could do about it.
Some of my braver classmates introduced themselves between subjects. A few - the ones who I walked over to visit, instead of them visiting me - suggested that I was wasting my time trying to get Mizuno-san to open up to me... to which I replied that it was my time to waste if I wanted. That shut most of them up. One persisted, although he was smart enough not to say anything negative, or have his say when she could hear him.
"Donarudoson-san, she only studies. There's no way you could convince her to look at you, or at anything that isn't a book."
"Sato-san, I'll be honest with you. She reminds me of me, back in Canada, before I learned that I needed to talk with other people. Doesn't she have any friends at all?"
He frowned. "Only Tsukino-san in class 1. But we're all convinced that Tsukino-san is only using Mizuno-san as a free tutor."
"That's rather unkind to this Tsukino-san, isn't it? But even if it's true, that means Mizuno-san doesn't spend every single minute of her time reading books."
Sato's frown deepened; I guessed that he didn't like being corrected by somebody he'd just met. "Maybe not, but she doesn't open up to anybody in class, either."
"I'm here in Japan to learn and to make friends, Sato-san. And the 'make friends' part of that means I have to at least try."
"I see what you're saying, Donarudoson-san. But I still think you're wasting your time." The English teacher walked in, and we returned to our desks as she walked to the lectern.
I didn't bother speaking with Sato-san again that day.
And Sakurada-sensei mangled my name, too.
The school day ended uneventfully. When the class representative asked me which club I wanted to join, I asked whether there was a Conversational English club in the school. There wasn't, so I told him that I would need to think about which club I might want to try out.
As I packed my school bag, I heard Sato-san talking with one of his friends about a sukeban who had just transferred in to class 6.
That's at least two people he was judging by superficial features. Makoto might be an iconoclast for now, but she wasn't a hoodlum. I had no desire to find out what he really thought about me, being a foreigner. But I didn't expect to find out, because at that point I didn't want to spend any more time with Sato-san than I absolutely needed to.
Makoto and I decided to walk home, which lead us to discovering a supermarket reasonably close to our apartment building. We each bought groceries for two days and small gifts to give to our neighbours when we introduced ourselves to them, and she offered to make dinner for the two of us. Since I wasn't a fool, I accepted her offer.
The next morning, as I was changing shoes at school, I noticed Sato-san talking with a boy with slightly-messy hair and extremely thick glasses.
Which explained where Umino-san got the rumour about Makoto-san from.
I did not point them out to Makoto-san; her shoebox wasn't close enough to mine that we could talk quietly. I nodded to her and headed for class 5, passing the two boys along the way.
Wondering whether the powers that the anonymous letter said I had included clairaudience, or even really good hearing, I did my best to listen to their conversation as I continued walking.
Of course I couldn't. Why couldn't the letter writer simply tell me what I could and couldn't do? Stupid genre conventions.
Classes ensued.
Lunchtime came around, and Ami-san... no, I had to remember to call her Mizuno-san, at least for now... was kind enough to direct me to the closest door to the school's courtyard. Of course I wasn't about to eat lunch in the classroom or the cafeteria; I think I already mentioned that my simple presence was making some people nervous. Just because I towered over every other student in the school, and most of the teachers as well, was no reason to hate me, really. But I've said that already, and I knew better than to disrupt the harmony of the school if I could help it. It was in the student guidebook, after all.
So I headed outside... to discover that Makoto-san was already having lunch with a cute blonde girl who had not yet been introduced to me so I had to pretend I didn't know who she was.
Stupid genre conventions. But I wasn't going to let this one get in my way.
I made my way over to them, held up my bento, and asked with a smile, "May I join you for lunch, ladies?"
They looked up at me. And up. And up. The blonde squeaked out, "Oni!"
I pouted theatrically, which made her giggle, then I smiled. "Sorry, miss, but I don't own tiger-striped shorts or a spiked club. I'm just a normal if somewhat tall exchange student. I'm Rob Donaldson; I'm happy to meet you."
"I'm sorry!" Rising to her feet and bowing, she continued, "I'm Tsukino Usagi. Nice to meet you!" She was a short girl, and not just compared to Kino-san and me.
After I returned her bow, we sat down on either side of Makoto-san. "I see you're making friends here, neighbour-san."
"'Neighbour'?" Usagi-san asked with a puzzled look on her face.
"We're next-door neighbours, in fact," Makoto-san confirmed. "Robu-san is in the apartment right beside the stairs. And it's nice having to look up to somebody who's my age, for a change." She turned to me. "If you don't mind me asking..."
"I'm 183 centimetres tall - six feet exactly." I still had an inch to go before I was my full height, but that last inch wouldn't show up for a year yet.
"Wow!"
Smiling, I commented, "You get impressed easily, Tsukino-san."
"Call me Usagi! Just like Mako-chan does!"
I raised one eyebrow, Spock style. Then I grinned and chuckled. "'Mako-chan'? Maybe I should call you that, too."
"Don't you dare! I don't want people thinking we're dating."
"So, in order for people to not think we're dating, you want me to call you Makoto-san instead of Mako-chan."
She thought for a moment, frowning at the start and sighing at the end. "Since you put it that way, maybe you should call me Mako-chan."
"Agreed." I turned to Usagi-san. "And I'll call you Usagi if you call me Rob, Usagi-san."
She smiled and nodded. "Okay, Robu-san!"
We chatted about the school and our experiences during our first day and a half. When I mentioned having the desk next to Mizuno-san's, Usagi smiled. "Oh, good! Ami-chan needs more friends."
Time to look puzzled for a brief moment. "'Ami-chan'? Oh, yes - one of our classmates mentioned that you knew Mizuno-san. I take it that you'd prefer I get to know her better."
Usagi nodded. "Yeah. She needs somebody to talk with who isn't me, or Rei."
"Rei?"
Usagi nodded again. "A friend of ours. She goes to a different school."
I noticed the time, and stood up. "Speaking of school, afternoon classes are going to start soon. It would look bad if Mako-chan and I were late for them on our second day."
The girls also stood up, and we all headed for the door back into the school. "And we mustn't make a bad impression during the first week," Makoto grumbled.
"I know. But if I'm going to be Mizuno-san's friend as well as yours, then I have to be a good boy, don't I? She has a reputation of being one of the best students in the school."
Makoto grinned. "Are you gathering a harem, Robu-san?"
"Are you volunteering, Mako-chan?" I countered with a grin of my own. Without waiting for an answer, I shook my head and continued, "But seriously, absolutely not. I doubt I could keep up with more than one girlfriend. Not that I have a girlfriend yet."
Afternoon classes were uneventful, as was the trip back home. We parted ways at my front door and I got ready to do my homework... when I noticed a familiar thin box hiding in a larger box beside my futon in the closet.
Was it...? Yes, it was! My laptop! Windows 11, NVIDIA GPU, a half-terabyte SSD... easily the most powerful - and most irreplaceable - personal computer on the planet at the moment.
With the possible exception of the Mercury Computer. But, judging from the anime, my laptop at least had better graphics. Heck, my cellphone had better graphics... and I found that sitting beside the laptop. Not that a 5G phone had any chance of connecting to the brand-new 2G network in Japan, but it was still nice to have if only as a music player. And, yes, I also had that dongle that let me plug wired headphones into the phone.
My multi-terabyte external drive had made the trip as well, so I also had the software and data files to do... not "deep fake" images, but close to photorealistic images that nobody in 1992 would suspect were CG. And the laptop's North American power brick and cable worked just fine with the Japanese grid.
I didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth. Even if it was an obvious trap for me. All I had to do was use it where somebody else could see it and my secret was out.
Stupid genre conventions.
But it was so tempting.
I also wasn't expecting to get very much use out of it - there were fewer than fifty websites in the entire world at this point, and I obviously didn't have Internet access at my new home. Good thing that I never trusted my files to OneDrive (entrusting them to said external drive instead) and that I'd installed the Japanese fonts for the OS and the Japanese language packs for LibreOffice, so I could at least use it as a typewriter... once I figured out how to connect a current printer's RS-232 port to my laptop's USB-C ports.
Then I noticed the kludge cables, right beside the external Blu-Ray burner.
It was definitely a trap. I mentioned the stupid genre conventions already, right?
A good chunk of my music collection was on the laptop. I could at least listen to something that hadn't been written yet... once I had a decent set of headphones.
But that was a treat for later. Much later, once I had figured out some way to keep it secret from my neighbours.
Including Mako-chan. At least, for as long as she didn't have just as big a secret that she was comfortable sharing with me.
I put the laptop away, and covered it with a blanket... just before Mako-chan showed up for homework. I was going to help her with English, and she was going to help me with Japanese history.
Including, much to my surprise, Nikkōjanbokitsuirakujiko.
Damn it, that was less than a decade ago! Why were they teaching it in history class?
Because it was the worst aviation disaster in history, of course. And it would keep that record until 9/11, at which point it would become the worst single-aircraft disaster in history. But here and now, anybody in Japan who said "plane crash" without saying which crash was talking about this plane crash.
And I had to pretend that I didn't know how Makoto would take it.
She took it poorly, of course. And quietly, which I didn't expect.
After the third time she didn't say anything for a few seconds, I closed my textbook. "Mako-chan, what do I need to know about what happened in 1985?"
There was another pause.
"If you don't want to tell me, that's okay. Am I prying?"
She nodded.
"Then I won't ask any more."
"Thank you, Robu-san," she whispered. Then, after a long pause while I re-opened my textbook and re-found the correct starting page for today's homework, she added just as quietly, "But I need to tell you before you find out from the textbook."
I gave her my complete attention.
She turned the page and pointed at the list of survivors... a slightly longer list than the one back home, in that I needed more than one hand to count them all, and it ended with the name Kino Makoto. "That's me."
I knew from the anime that her parents had died in an aircraft crash. However, the anime didn't say that she had also been aboard JAL123.
"Mako-chan... Makoto-san, every instinct I've learned is telling me to give you a hug, because you're my friend and you so obviously need to feel the touch of somebody who cares about you. But you Japanese don't do that, do you?" I finished off somewhat sadly.
She didn't try to hide the tears that she'd started crying. "Not as a rule, no," she said quietly. "But you already know what I think of rules. My parents, and a lot of other people, could have survived if it wasn't for somebody blindly following the rules."
I could tell an agreement when I heard one. We both stood up, and I gave her the closest hug that I thought a Japanese big brother would give his little sister. After a moment, she returned the hug. "Thank you, Robu-san."
"Any time, Makoto-san. And I mean that. You are my closest friend in Japan. If you need me, I'll come running." I almost said that I'd come flying, but I caught myself in time.
Eventually (less than a minute later), she let go of me, and I let go of her and stepped back.
"It's almost dinner time. May I make dinner for us, Robu-san?"
I was about to point out that she'd made dinner last night when I realized that she wanted... no, needed... to keep busy. "I'd like that."
Another few days of classes, another few days of making excuses why I wasn't looking at school clubs (my best excuse was that I had to catch up on lessons that I hadn't yet learned in Japan), and another few days of being annoyed at the almost-unconscious racism displayed by so many of my classmates and teachers. But it had gotten out that my father - whom I still hadn't met yet - was here as a guest of the government, so nobody actually tried to provoke the gaijin oni.
Which I appreciated, because I was not a fighter.
Unless that was part of my powers. Stupid genre conventions.
Apparently, Mako-chan was having almost as hard a time as I was at fitting in. She was taller than her classmates, and she had trouble following rules. I wasn't about to point out in public that I thought her behaviour was rooted in the fact that it was the government following rules that led to so many people dying around her in 1985; she'd already said as much in private.
But we had each other. And Usagi-san. And, if I worked at making friends with her, Ami-san. Three or four of us against the disapproval of the world. I was betting on the four of us... and not just because three of us were Sailor Senshi, because this wasn't a fight that could be won with Silver Millennium magic.
And that required Mako-chan and me to make friends with Ami-san. Makoto-san had an advantage there that I didn't, of course... but I also had an advantage that she didn't, which I'd decided to use even if I didn't want to use it. Just as the lunch break began, I turned to her. "Mizuno-san, would you be willing to help me with a small problem?"
"What sort of problem, Donaldson-san?"
Once again, I was quietly happy that she didn't mangle my name.
I held up an oversized bento. "I made plans to have lunch with Kino-san in class 6 and Tsukino-san in class 1, but I'm afraid that I may have made far too many sandwiches for the three of us. Would you care to join us for lunch?"
"You know Usagi-san?"
"I do. She was the only person at school brave enough to try making friends with Kino-san - she's my next-door neighbour - and I was caught in the halo of Usagi-san's friendship effect, much to my benefit," I finished with a smile.
Ami thought for a moment, then nodded. "I'd be happy to have lunch with you all, Donaldson-san."
We headed out to the courtyard together... and even if she didn't notice the envious or jealous looks aimed at me from half the boys in the class, I certainly did.
I dropped a note on Sato-san's desk as we passed him. It read, "This is what happens when you put in the effort to take an interest in somebody."
Fifteen minutes after we had shared our sandwiches with each other, Ami-san was - at Usagi-san's insistence - on a given-name basis with Mako-chan and me.
We decided to visit the local game centre on the way home.
Well, three of us decided to visit the Crown. Ami-san had cram school... no, she wasn't cramming for a test. Supplementary lessons... no, she didn't need help to pass. I'll just use the Japanese word juku because there isn't really a good match in English.
I was walking through the arcade's doorway when it struck me how apropos the game centre's name was, considering that in many realities it was also the secret base for the Sailor Senshi. It was only right for the Moon Princess to have a Crown.
Mako-chan and I gave the Sailor V game a try. She did better than I did, but we both placed in the top ten.
Which surprised me immensely, since I knew that the Sailor V game was a Senshi training simulator. Something was going on; maybe my superhuman abilities were finally making an appearance.
I wondered whether I could port the game to my laptop and improve the graphics to photorealistic. For the girls' benefit as a training tool, of course.
Then I noticed the boy who was winning big at the crane game.
No time for wondering about improving the simulator. The plot was interfering. And I had to let it.
Stupid genre conventions.
By the time I had made my way to the crane game, the boy wasn't there any more, and Makoto was making her excuses to Usagi. She noticed me and said, "Sorry, but I have to go."
To follow the young man who was hosting a youma, and to become Sailor Jupiter, I knew but didn't tell her. This was something she needed to do on her own. "See you later?"
"Sure," she answered over her shoulder as she left.
"Ano... I should be going, too."
"I can find my own way home, Usagi-san. Don't worry about me."
"O'kay! Bai-Bai!"
The way she pronounced "okay" reminded me of that scene from "Girls und Panzer" with Anzu and Kay. And that reminded me that I'd never know how the sequel movie series ended. I had to cheer myself up somehow. I turned to the crane game and looked at the prizes, and decided to sacrifice a 50 yen coin to the owner's piggy bank. If I recalled correctly, said owner was a white cat with a crescent moon mark on his forehead, so the money was going to a good cause. Then I gave the machine a second coin, and got a Sailor Mercury plushie for my trouble. Three more coins and I had a Sailor Moon plushie to keep her company, two more coins and I got a Tuxedo Kamen plushie - the cape actually got in the way of me getting a Sailor V. Four more tries got me the Sailor V doll that I had been trying for, and another five coins got me a Sailor Mars plushie to complete the set. A bargain at 800 yen... and, I realized later, too easily won unless I was unconsciously using one of my powers.
All I wondered at the time was how long it would be before I would be able to try for a Sailor Jupiter plushie.
A few hours later, Makoto-san knocked on my front door, looking slightly the worse for wear. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, fair damsel?" I asked with a smile.
She noticed the plushies that I had arranged on my desk, and smiled in response for a brief moment. "I was hoping maybe you still had a sandwich or two left over from lunch."
"Sorry, those were my supper. I can fry an egg and make a sandwich from it and some bread if you want one that badly."
"Actually, yeah, I do. Don't bother taking the time to cut off the crusts."
I raised an eyebrow. "That isn't like you. Did something happen?"
"If I just say 'yes', will you keep asking questions?"
"Only if you want me to, Mako-chan."
"I'd rather you didn't."
One fried-egg sandwich later, eaten in silence, and she was half-asleep. "Mako-chan, either you're going home right now or you're sleeping here. And I only own one futon."
"In that case, good night, Robu-chan. Robu-san," she corrected herself with a blush.
I smiled and prepared to escort her home, one door down the walkway. "You can call me Rob-chan if you really want to, Mako-chan."
As Ami-san and I walked out to the courtyard the next day to have lunch, we overheard Makoto saying to Usagi, "Motoki-san reminds me of my sempai, but Robu-san reminds me of my sempai, too."
"Oh?" Ami-san asked as we joined the others. "How so? And who is this sempai?"
Mako-chan blushed as she noticed my presence. "I couldn't possibly tell you that right now," she said quietly as I sat down between her and Usagi-san.
I said nothing, being so surprised at her comment that I was at a loss for words. I thought for sure that Makoto-san had me placed firmly in the "friend" zone, along with Shinozaki-san who I didn't expect to meet for a while yet. But then, I didn't really know what Mako-chan's relationship was with that fandom-famous sempai she had left behind when she transferred to Kuritsu Juban Chuugakkou. Maybe they were just close friends.
"Mako-chan said you have a full set of Sailor Senshi dolls in your apartment, Robu-san!"
Ami-san looked surprised at Usagi-san's comment. "I wouldn't have taken you to be the sort who collects dolls."
"I'm not, normally, but the Sailor Senshi are a special case. They're young women who are sufficiently self-confident that they don't wait around for a prince to fight for their honour; they go out and do their own fighting, and from everything I've read about them in the newspapers they aren't trying to act like men when they do it. They're women in a men's world but they're sill women, not fake men. I'm sure that a generation from now, people will call them an inspiration to be the best people they want to be, not just merely adequate people that society squeezed into gender-specific roles. And I think that a time when everybody can live up to their fullest potential is something to not just look forward to, but work toward."
Nobody said anything. But they all had smiles on their faces... smiles that I carefully did not comment on.
Time to change the subject, for their sake. Little did I know at the time that I was starting a tradition. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be making speeches at lunch. Speaking of lunch, what did everybody bring? I have hamburger patties, potato salad, and cherry tomatoes."
"And a fork instead of chopsticks, right, Robu-san?" Makoto-san opened her bento as I nodded in acknowledgement. "I made rolled egg, daikon stewed in miso, sausages, and rice."
"You're going to make somebody a happy husband someday, Mako-chan!"
Quietly agreeing with Usagi-san's comment, I began to seriously wonder who that person was going to be. To my surprise, I found myself becoming jealous of him.
Makoto-san and I didn't get together for homework that evening; she was in a study group with Usagi-san, Ami-san, and their friend Rei-san instead. And, no doubt, Luna, with their conversation incorporating Senshi business. I wondered for a moment when if ever I'd get to meet Rei-san.
And we wouldn't get together tomorrow, either, because Usagi-san had invited Makoto-san to Yokohama so that they could keep one of her other friends company. Which meant I was going to miss both another youma battle and an opportunity to meet Naru-san.
Oh, well. I hadn't experienced any youma battles yet, so I didn't miss them.
If I was going to be of any use to the Senshi - assuming they wanted an ally - then I had to figure out what my powers were. But every attempt I made to trigger something at home failed.
Finally, I put that project aside and looked at my other project: setting up the laptop so that I could use it without anybody else noticing. Thick drapes would block any view from outside... at the expense of making me look like a hikikomori. Moving my desk to the corner of the room and setting up a screen so that I'd have a "study nook" was a better option. My apartment was cozy by Canadian standards but big by Japanese standards; I had room for a divider.
Once that was done, I spent some time on the bus and a half-hour on the subway, visited Akihabara, and looked at both good headphones and good printers. The headphones were easy to choose; I found a display of Koss headphones, including some Porta Pros, in the same store that lured me in with a display of computers running the brand-new Windows 3.1. (I'd have to wait a year for the QZ1000 with noise reduction.) The printer was less easy. I immediately dismissed the idea of a laser printer; they cost more than my laptop did, even without adjusting for inflation. I finally found a monochrome inkjet PostScript printer that fit both my budget (I hoped, since I didn't know when I'd be getting more money in my bank account) and the space I had available in my new study nook. They accepted a cheque (which I wasn't sure about in 1992 Japan), promised that my purchases would be delivered the next day, and included my first pack of paper.
By the time I was home with convenience-store katsudon and a Ramune for supper, so was Makoto-san; I saw a light on at her apartment. In order to let her know I was coming, I started singing a tune that wouldn't be written for a quarter-century as I climbed the stairs. By the time I got to the lyrics "I will never be deceived, I'm a guy that sees through lies" (well, I am a guy, not a girl, so I had to change that line), Makoto met me at my own door.
"Good evening, Robu-san. It's unusual for you to be coming home so late."
"Good evening, Mako-chan. I was doing some shopping."
She looked at my supper. "You didn't buy very much!"
My smile almost matched hers, except that mine wasn't teasing. "The rest will be delivered tomorrow. Would you like to come in?"
Of course she would. Why would today be any different from every other day since we met? As we settled in and I set my supper aside to pay attention to my guest, I asked, "What would your guardians think if they found out you were visiting a foreigner every day?"
"Oh, they'd be scandalized," she answered matter-of-factly. "Do you think I care?"
"Of course not. But I think maybe you should care at least a little bit, even if it's just for Usagi-san and Ami-san's sake. They're proper Japanese teenagers, not like us."
Makoto-san grinned. "You might be surprised."
I chose to misinterpret her inadvertent hint. "Yeah, Usagi-san is a lot more genki than a proper Japanese girl our age should be." My stomach chose that moment to grumble.
She noticed. "I've already had dinner. Don't mind me; eat up!"
"If you're sure..." She was sure, so I started making short work of my meal.
She took the opportunity to tell me about her visit to Hikawa Shrine. I made the appropriate encouraging noises, and by the time I'd finished my supper, Makoto-san had told me as much about Rei-san - not Sailor Mars, just Hino Rei-san - and where she lived as I could have learned by watching the anime up to episode 25. Which meant that I no longer needed to hide what I knew about the shrine and its most famous miko any more.
I gave the plastic box a quick rinse and set it aside to wash properly later. Makoto-san noticed that I wasn't simply throwing it away. "Why are you keeping that?"
"Waste not, want not, as we say in English. I can re-use this a few times, and put off buying a proper lacquerware box for a few days."
"That makes sense," Makoto said with an approving nod of her head. "But I could look at the housewares in Yokohama Chinatown when I'm there tomorrow, if you want me to do some price checking for you."
I smiled and chuckled. "If you do that, Usagi-san is going to ask whether you're my girlfriend, you know."
"Would it be so bad if she did?"
"Mako-chan, we've only known each other for about a week. Isn't it a little early to be thinking of becoming closer than just friends?"
She lost her smile. "I guess."
That wasn't good. I needed to keep her as a friend. And, I realized, I wanted to keep her as a friend, which made me feel better since I now knew that I wasn't using her as an introduction to the Sailor Senshi. "I'm only saying 'not yet', not 'no'. And weren't you going to Yokohama to help cheer up Usagi-san's friend? That's more important than running an errand for me."
Her smile returned, but only as a shadow of what it was before. "You're right. Do you always think of other people instead of yourself?"
"Not always, but often enough."
The printer and my headphones arrived early, and hooking the printer up to the laptop was easy with the kludge cable. My laptop even recognized the hardware. (That must have been an ancient device driver, despite it being a PostScript printer.) After doing a test print of a single page of text, I shut down the system and made sure the laptop was stashed where nobody could find it.
There were a lot more videos on the external drive than I remembered having copied from my collection at home. Read that as: there were videos copied from my collection at home. I hadn't ripped anything in my collection, but there they were. Including all of Sailor Moon through to the end of SuperS.
It had been a while, but it was time to say this again: Stupid genre conventions.
I had other things to do today. So I headed out and tried to find out what those things were.
It turned out that "meeting somebody I only knew from the anime" was one of those things, and we met in, of all places, a beef-bowl restaurant. He was my age, clean-cut, about as tall as Ami-san, and looking at me with the oddest expression on his face.
After waiting long enough that "looking" became "staring", I walked over to the counter and sat down beside him. "One house special, please," I told the cook, before turning to the boy. "Is there something wrong?"
"What? No, I just didn't expect to see you here, Donarudoson-san."
"You have the advantage on me, sir."
He bowed in apology. "My apologies, sir. Urawa Ryou." As I was thinking the nickname that Shadowjack had given him, he asked in bemusement, "'Ryou the Psychic Boy'?"
My eyebrows went up in surprise. "I thought you were a precog, not a reader."
"Well... yes. I sensed that you might have been about to say it."
"Might have been."
"I'm having trouble sensing your future." he continued more quietly, "I thought you were going to be my competition for Mizuno-san's attention, until I actually met you just now. I'm happy that you aren't because she's already noticed you but not me, but I'm surprised, too."
"She's a lovely young lady, well worth whatever friendship you choose to give her. I could introduce you to her, if you want."
"Oh, you don't need to do that."
I began to think that I did, the way he was fading into the background. The poor kid had almost no drive where Ami-san was concerned. But that was something for another day. After a moment, I continued, "So you know who I am."
He nodded. "Who and what, yes. But, please, this isn't the time or place to discuss what we are. Except: Don't force it, let it flow."
"Let what flow?"
Instead of answering, he left a few coins on the counter and went on his way as my order arrived.
Stupid genre conventions.
The next day, after school, Usagi-san took a candid photo of Ami-san eating a hamburger, then dashed off. Which surprised Ami-san to no end, and let me know that we were almost ready to see Ryou-san become a youma. Poor kid.
After a beat, I wondered whether I was thinking of Ryou-san or Ami-san there.
And it wasn't until I got home that I thought of the "I Can Has Cheezburger?" meme. She probably wouldn't have appreciated it anyway.
And the day after that, I just happened to see Usagi-san and Ryou-san together.
Because I "just happened" to have been following Usagi-san in order to let her lead me to Ryou-san. Somehow, she never noticed me... which, at the time, I attributed to stupid genre conventions.
She was giving him a photograph. I wondered how she got the film developed and printed so quickly, until I remembered that her father is a magazine editor who sometimes pinch-hits as a photographer. She probably did it at home.
"How long before Zoicite shows up?" I muttered, not remembering the exact timing of the episode in question. As if in summons, said Dark General appeared. Stupid! Genre! Conventions! Summoning the enemy had better not be my power!
Ryou-san and Usagi-san split up, him to lead Zoicite away from Usagi-san and her to find some place private to get changed. Not that anybody other than me - and Ryou-san - knew both of those things. I dithered on who to keep an eye on, and as a result lost track of them both... until I saw Sailor Mercury.
It was the first time I'd seen any of my real-life friends in Senshi uniform. That girl's got legs.
I followed at a discreet distance. After a couple of minutes, I realized I was keeping up with her.
I've never been a particularly fast runner. Heck, Osaka-san from Azumanga Daioh could probably beat me in a foot race. But there I was, moving as fast as a Senshi.
It looked like, whatever my powers were, quick movement was one of them.
As I was wondering whether my other abilities were speed-related, Sailor Mercury found Ryou-san. I stopped far enough away to give them privacy - I didn't need to embarrass my new friend by overhearing that somebody else knew her secret identity - but close enough that I could still race in and help if Zoicite showed up unexpectedly.
Unexpectedly by Ami-san, that is. Ryou-san and I both knew it was only a matter of time.
Which meant I saw Zoicite attack from longer range than he had in the anime, as the attack passed over my head.
I didn't force it. I flowed. Suddenly I was between Ryou-san and the attack - not a teleport, "just" a high-speed run - and there was a shimmering field of... pure force, for want of a better name, and I privately cursed "Doc" Smith for popularizing that imprecise term in the SF lexicon... centred on my outstretched hand, serving as a shield. The attack struck my shield and stopped, falling to the ground.
As Sailor Mercury moved to get the Mercury Computer out, presumably to analyze Zoicite's attack, my forcefield, or both, I said, "Mercury-san, get Urawa-san out of here! I'll hold off the girly-boy!"
"What did you call me?" Zoicite shouted in anger, paying attention to me instead of Ryou-san and Ami-san's escape. Just as planned. If you could call something thought up on the spur of the moment a plan.
"You heard me, Dark General Zoicite! You look enough like a girl that you could probably be mistaken for one if you wore a wig!" And that comment, I hoped, just might dissuade him from impersonating Sailor Moon later on.
"You will pay for your impudence!"
"Yeah, sure, whatever. But I think you're going to make the down payment," I said as I looked over Zoicite's left shoulder and grinned.
He turned to look. The fool. Sailor Moon was coming up on his right.
And she threw away the element of surprise. "Hold it right there! Heaven may forgive you for coming between two young lovers, but I will not! In the name of the Moon, I - oof!"
What do you know - Zoicite attacked her in the middle of her speech. Even I wasn't expecting that. I must have riled him up more than I planned.
Note to self: No more insulting Zoicite's self-image unless all of the Senshi were ready to attack him.
Moon looked like she was stunned. In an instant, my forcefield was between the two of them. "I'm your opponent!"
Zoicite turned back to me, a snarl on his face. "Don't interfere! You're an annoyance, kid! She's a threat!" Before I could reply, he added, "And I don't have time for this," and teleported away.
I hoped I'd given Ami-san and Ryou-san enough time to hide somewhere. Walking over to Sailor Moon, who was being tended by a black cat with a crescent-moon mark on her forehead, I asked, "Are you alright?"
She nodded. "I will be, as soon as I catch my breath."
"Good. Do you know where Sailor Mercury is? I told her to get Urawa-san to safety, so they should still be together."
She shook her head as I offered her an arm to steady herself. "I'm sorry, Robu-san. I can't track my teammates."
"We need to figure out a way to do just that. And it's only because you're still catching your breath and your wits are still scrambled a bit that I'll overlook you knowing my name." She looked startled when she realized she'd let that slip, followed by worried. "But we'll talk about this later, at my place since you already know how to find it."
"I do?"
"You'll remember soon enough. Don't say it - Zoicite could be listening."
"Yeah, right." Then, after a moment, she asked, "You know who I am, don't you?"
I nodded. "Being an outsider, I need to pay attention to things like the shape of your face, the colour of your eyes, and the way you speak. And you do have a unique hairdo." Seeing that she was worried, I quickly added a lie; the only one I've ever told her. "I doubt your friends have noticed." It was time to change the topic. "Are you ready to look for Mercury-san?"
"Mercury! We have to find her!"
So we went and looked for her. And Ryou-san. I gave Sailor Moon a quiet moment alone with her cat, so that Luna could tell her that the Moon Stick can find the Rainbow Crystals, then joined her in the search. We finally found them in a park, just like in canon.
And, just like in canon, Ryou-san had been turned into a monster, and Sailor Mercury had grabbed the Rainbow Crystal that had been released from him in the process.
Cue attacks from allies in three, two, one...
"Fire Soul!"
"Supreme Thunder!"
Right on time. I grabbed Zoicite in a forcefield so he couldn't interfere, then shouted, "Sailor Moon! I've got the Dark General!"
She nodded and readied the Moon Stick. "Moon... Healing... Escalation!"
The attacks from the other Senshi had worn him down enough that Sailor Moon was able to turn him back into Ryou-san... just as I felt the tension against my forcefield disappear. "Blast it! Zoicite's teleported away!"
Note to self: Never turn your back on a Dark General, even if you're certain you have him secured.
"Not again!" Sailor Moon moaned.
Sailor Mars, on the other hand, was looking at me suspiciously. "Who's this?"
Before anyone else could answer, I quickly said, "No names, please. Zoicite might still be nearby and spying on us. Sailor Moon called me 'oni' the first time she saw me; that's as good a code name for me as any."
And the matching looks on Sailor Moon and Sailor Jupiter's faces let me know that they both got the message that I couldn't come out and say. I wondered whether Mako-chan realized that that meant I also knew who she was.
I continued, "You four -- sorry, neko-san, you five -- probably already know how to evade being followed. Get out of here and go meet up wherever it is you have your after-action debriefings and talk all you want about me. Including everything that you know about me, Sailor Moon, and yes, I know that you know that I know who we are, even if Zoicite doesn't know. I'll make sure Urawa-san gets to a hospital."
"No. I'll do that." Sailor Mercury insisted. This was the first time I'd ever seen a determined look on Ami-san's face outside of anime, and I've already mentioned that 2D is no comparison to 3D. That girl looked scary.
"Alright. I'll take my leave now."
As I headed off, I heard Sailor Moon ask, "What's an after-action debriefing?"
Partway home, I realized which power set I had been displaying. I'd rolled up the character years ago as a favour for a friend, but never actually played him.
Standing in front of a sufficiently-reflective window, I wrapped a forcefield around myself and willed it to divert light around me. Sure enough, I faded into invisibility.
While making my way home while invisible just in case Zoicite had been following me, I wondered whether I also had the brainpower boost and the other power on his character sheet. I also wondered how I could possibly test for them.
It was nearly midnight before I heard a knock at my door.
Which had given me plenty of time to consider how much I was going to reveal about myself. I stood up and walked over to the door. "Hello?"
"Robu-san, may we come in?"
In response to Mako-chan's question, I unlocked and opened the door, to see all three of my usual lunch companions. Rather tellingly for anybody who knew her, Ami-san wasn't carrying a book. "Please come in, ladies. I apologize that I don't have enough furniture to go around. All I can offer is cushions."
They waited until I had closed the door behind them before saying anything. "That isn't a concern, Donaldson-san," replied Ami-san.
"I suppose it isn't," I commented while getting cushions out of the closet anyway.
Once the cushions were out and I had moved to my kitchenette to prepare tea for everyone, Ami-san and Usagi-san sat down. Makoto-san didn't. "How much do you know about us? And how do you know? Don't give me that 'unique hairdo' line, because we already know that Usagi's family doesn't recognize her when -"
I cut her off there. "Are the walls here thick enough to hold in secrets?"
Mako-chan sighed. "You know that they aren't."
"Then we whisper." I had already lowered my voice. Opening my desk drawer while the tea steeped, I added, "The easiest way to answer your questions is with a question of my own. Ami-san, can you interface the Mercury Computer with my computer from the future of another reality altogether?"
"Your computer? That's a computer?"
"What do you mean by 'another reality'?"
"Yes, Usagi-san, this is a computer. It's easily breakable and completely irreplaceable for three decades, so please, all of you, keep your hands off of it. As for another reality," I opened it and brought it out of sleep mode, to reveal VLC Media Player already had episode 25 of Sailor Moon queued up and ready to go. "Mako-chan, want to see how the week we met would have gone without me?"
A half-hour later, everybody looked pole-axed.
Makoto-san was the first to recover. "So that's supposed to be me. They didn't do a very good job of showing who I really am."
I nodded. "She's a bit one-dimensional at this point in the story. The scriptwriters don't actually know you, after all. But they did show your sense of justice."
"Which character is supposed to be you?"
"I'm not in the story. I implied before I showed you this that I'm from another universe, remember?"
Ami-san took a sip of tea to steady herself. "Does that mean we can use this anime to tell the future?"
"Good question." I sighed. "I've already changed things just by being here, and I've changed them even more by showing you this one episode. And don't ask me to show you any more. I'm tempted to erase the lot of them. But they do show what your opponents are doing, so we might be able to notice their plots earlier than any of you did in the anime story."
"But that changes the future."
I nodded in agreement with Usagi-san. "Right. So the episodes will become useless for particulars rather quickly."
"We could still use them to learn more about our opponents, though," Ami-san pointed out. "Now we know who Queen Beryl is, just from this one anime episode."
"But we don't know where she is," I pointed out. "This knowledge is about as useful as knowing that Sailor V is Sailor Venus."
Mako-chan grinned. "I think maybe you shouldn't have said that."
I sighed. Again. It was too late at night; I was tired and making mistakes. "I think you're right." I reached over and shut down the laptop, being careful to close the lid completely. "No more temptation, at least not tonight."
Usagi-san finally asked the big questions. "Robu-san, does this anime say who the Moon Princess is? And who Tuxedo Kamen is?"
I nodded. "Yes to both questions. No, I'm not going to tell you right now. You're going to find out soon enough."
Usagi-san sighed deeply. "You're an oni," she complained.
"Fine. I'm a monster. But I have your best interests at heart."
Mako-chan looked me straight in the eyes. "Did you use me to meet Usagi-san?"
"No!" Lowering my voice back to a whisper, I continued, "No. I never used you for anything, Makoto-san. And I was completely truthful and honest when I told you that you are my closest friend here. Please believe me."
"How many friends do you have, Robu-san?"
I turned to Usagi-san. "In this world? Including the people in this room?" She nodded in reply to each of my questions. "Three. Considering that I've been in Japan, and this world, for less than a month, already making three friends is pretty good. And you're good friends."
Makoto-san and Usagi-san smiled at hearing my compliment. Ami-san blushed.
After a brief lull, Makoto-san asked, "Is there anything else that we need to know about you? Or should know about you, considering you probably know a lot about us from that anime?"
I nodded. "'Need to know': I have some superhuman powers, too. Usagi-san and Ami-san saw two of them this evening, and unfortunately so did Zoicite. 'Should know':..." I hesitated, because I didn't know what I should tell her. "Later, once you've come to terms with everything that I've told you already. As for what I know about you, that you haven't already told me... Mako-chan, you dream of owning your own shop, but you don't know whether it's a cake shop or a flower shop or both. You don't look the part, but you have a lot in common with the Yamato nadeshiko stereotype."
"I'm not feminine at all!"
I let that slide for the moment. "I was thinking of the 'silk hiding steel' part of the stereotype. And you compare almost every boy you like to your ex-sempai," she blushed slightly, "although I don't know what that actually means."
Her blush faded. "You know things that only my closest friends know about me."
"Mako-chan, I'll say it again. You're my closest friend in this world. Does that help at all?"
She thought for a moment, and finally replied, "A bit." Then she noticed the pile of textbooks sitting beside my laptop. "Eep! Homework! I have to do mine, too!"
"You had to remind me. Makoto-san, Usagi-san, Ami-san, would you promise me that you won't say anything about the anime or me to anybody unless I'm there with you? Please?"
Without hesitation, Makoto-san replied, "Yes, Robu-san, I promise."
"So do I," added Usagi-san.
"I promise, as well," Ami-san completed the set.
I smiled in relief. "Thank you, ladies. And I promise that I will not tell anyone who any of the Sailor Senshi are unless you give me permission. Mako-chan, go do your homework, and I'll do my homework, and we'll all have lunch together tomorrow. Okay?"
"Sure." As they stood up to leave, Makoto-san added, "Robu-san... I think you already know this, but you remind me of my sempai."
I stood up to accompany them to my door. "Yes, I remember that you told Usagi-san that. I really like you, too, Mako-chan. And now I have something to think about while we're keeping each others' secrets."
The next day, after school, Ami-san and I saw Ryou-san off; he was going back home to Niigata. I carefully did not notice Ami-san give Ryou-san a better photo of herself.
Once the train's doors closed, she sighed.
"You'll see him again."
"You're sure?"
I smiled. "You already know how I know."
Ami-san and I spent most of the next week, outside of school and juku, figuring out how to interface the Mercury Computer with my laptop.
After I moved the "Sailor Moon" images and episodes I had on the local drive over to the external drive, and then leaving that drive unplugged. No more letting secrets slip out; my new friends were nowhere near ready to learn about Chibiusa, let alone the other Sailor Senshi.
I left the soundtracks on the laptop, which of course let Ami-san discover that they wouldn't meet Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune for a while yet.
As a result of working on that project, we missed Usagi-san and Mamoru-san's debut as portrait models.
Makoto-san made sure we didn't starve... or get up to anything inappropriate. Not that I would; Ami-san is a lovely young woman who deserves better than me. For that matter, so are each of the other members of the Sailor Team. But Makoto-san coming over regularly meant that we didn't miss her tears of heartbreak, the day that we finally kludged Teams on both the laptop and my cellphone to act as a terminal for calls from the Mercury Computer. (Of course, our test text message was "Merry Christmas," echoing the very first SMS message... that wouldn't be sent until December 3 of that year.) Not that my cellphone could connect to anything other than the laptop, of course.
"Motoki-san has a girlfriend!" the poor girl wailed.
"You just discovered that today?"
"Less than an hour ago!"
I nodded grimly as I plugged in the external drive and started up episode 29. "Good. That gives us some breathing room." As both Makoto-san and Ami-san looked at me in surprise, I continued, "Motoki-san's girlfriend Nishimura-san hosts one of the Seven Great Youma. Let's see whether we can break Zoicite's streak at getting Rainbow Crystals."
I must say that having a beautiful girl on each side of me makes watching anime much more pleasurable, even if our attention was on the screen rather than each other. Simply knowing that they were there made a difference.
A half-hour of taking notes later, Makoto-san sighed. "It looks like my attack is going to be nearly useless this time around."
"Yeah," I sighed in sympathy, then had an outside-the-box idea. "Wait. Maybe you can use it indirectly."
"What do you mean?"
"I'll show you." Half a minute later and my laptop was playing the short version of fripSide's "Only My Railgun", with visual accompaniment. Half an hour later and Mako-chan was grinning from ear to ear.
The next day, after school, I escorted Ami-san to her juku. "OK Shingaku Juku?" I continued with a smile, in English, "I would have thought you'd be attending a juku that's better than just okay." She smiled slightly. "Ah, there's the smile that I haven't seen since Urawa-san left." And that comment made her smile disappear.
"Why did he have to leave, Donaldson-san?"
Our relationship was an odd one at that point, with us being on a given-name basis when Usagi-san or Mako-chan were around and on a family-name basis the rest of the time. That was all that Ami-san was comfortable with at the time. "I don't know, Mizuno-san. All I'm sure of is that he'll be back. Not soon, but before the end of the school year."
Ami-san's half-smile returned. "Thank you. I have to go now."
"Of course. Have fun!"
"I'm here to study, not to have fun."
"I thought that studying was your way to have fun. I'll see you in class tomorrow."
And she went inside while I headed off to a hardware store.
The next day, when Ami-san and I met Usagi-san and Makoto-san for lunch, I smiled and patted my jacket pocket. "Mission complete."
Makoto-san grinned while Usagi-san looked puzzled. "What mission?"
"Sore wa, himitsu desu."
"You're quoting somebody there," Mako-chan said.
Surprised, I asked, "How could you tell?"
"You've never been so formal to say 'desu' in all the time I've known you."
Ami-san shook her head. "Rob-san is a perfect gentleman in class; the teachers have never found fault with his formality. He says 'desu' all the time."
"Ah, but Usagi-san and Mako-chan don't hear me in class. Usagi-san, are you busy after school?"
"I have no plans at all!"
"That isn't something to be proud of, Usagi-san," Ami-san chastised her.
I nodded in agreement. "You really should study more. But today it would be better if you were to spend time with Mako-chan."
Makoto-san looked upset at that. "But I had plans to... Oh!"
"Right. I'll go straight home after class. Give me a call when he leaves."
Usagi-san looked from Makoto-san to me, and back. "What are you two talking about?"
It was Ami-san who answered. "They've been watching that anime again."
"That we have. So, what did everybody bring for lunch?"
It didn't take long for Makoto-san to call me. "Robu-san! He just left! And it sounded like he was worried!"
"Is the Moon Stick reacting to a new Rainbow Crystal?"
"Yes!"
Damn - the story had changed from what I knew. We should have had a few hours; now we only had minutes. "I'm on my way. Where are you?" She gave me the address.
Instead of texting Ami-san the way I wanted to, I locked up my laptop and headed out at a run. Then I went invisible and went to my top speed. I was at Motoki-san's apartment in less than three minutes, to discover Usagi-san and Makoto-san waiting for me outside. Fading back into view, I asked, "Which way?"
"That way!" Usagi-san gestured with the Moon Stick.
"Right. Get changed and let's go."
"But..." Usagi-san started to complain.
Mako-chan cut her off. "There's no time for modesty. Jupiter Power, Make-Up!"
I quickly learned three things. First, the transformation didn't take nearly as long in real life as it did in the anime. Second, yes, there was a noticeable moment when Makoto-san was completely naked, which I expected after seeing that one time in "S" when Sailor Uranus transformed back to Haruka-san. Third, an animated drawing doesn't compare at all to a three-dimensional woman.
I quickly turned my back to the girls, in order to give Usagi-san as much privacy as I could. And to hide my nosebleed. Stupid genre conventions.
As soon as Sailor Moon told me she was ready, we headed out - Moon in the lead, and Jupiter carrying me piggyback while the two Senshi roof-hopped to the scene.
Of course Mako-chan noticed my ... nosebleed. "Is that my fault?" she asked with a smile in her voice.
I'd spent enough time with Mako-chan to know that lying to her about this would be both pointless and rude. "It is," I replied with a smile of my own, not that she could see it.
"I was beginning to wonder whether you thought of me that way at all."
In front of us, Moon was slowing down. "I think this conversation will have to wait. Time for Oni to fade into the background." And I made myself invisible as Jupiter landed beside Moon.
"That is freaky," Moon said.
Jupiter added, "You're still here, I can tell from your weight, but I can't see your arms at all now."
As I let go of her, I replied, "Let's hope Zoicite can't see me at all, either. At least until it's time for me to make an entrance. Time for you two to pretend I'm not here," I finished as I took Jupiter's hand and handed her what I had picked up at the hardware store.
Nishimura-san had already been transformed into Rikoukeidar, but it looked like the transformation had just finished. Zoicite already had the Rainbow Crystal.
The fight went remarkably similar to canon, up to the point where Rikoukeidar manifested the big flask - the one that could catch and return Jupiter's attack. I used the time to get closer to Zoicite without being observed. I hoped.
The flask appeared, Jupiter grinned, and I saw that Zoicite was still holding the Rainbow Crystal. While remaining invisible, I created an equally-invisible forcefield sledgehammer and anvil. Yeah, I know how derivative that is.
Jupiter called her attack. "Supreme..." And she tossed one of the steel ball bearings I'd just given her into the air. "Thunder!"
Rikoukeidar caught the attack, but the electrically-propelled ball bearing inside the attack shattered the base of the flask. Rikoukeidar took damage from the electrical attack, the ball bearing, and the glass shards.
Zoicite was stunned by the sight. "What? How?"
So I put his fingers between hammer and anvil, forcefully, which caused him to drop the Rainbow Crystal... which I quickly grabbed with a forcefield after dispelling my forcefield weaponry.
"Ow! It hurts!" And Zoicite teleported away while Sailor Moon healed Nishimura-san.
At which point Motoki-san finally showed up. I decided against letting him see me, instead quietly tugging on Jupiter's sleeve. Either she took the hint or she was already thinking the same thing that I was. "As Sailors of Love and Justice, we have served Justice here today, and now it is time for us to serve Love! Fare well, both of you!" And she grabbed Moon's arm and headed off at a quick pace.
It wasn't until I got in front of them that I saw the tears on both their faces. Fading back into view, I said, "I'm sorry, girls. He does love her."
"Oni," they both complained at my bursting their bubbles. Moon added, "At least tell me you got the Rainbow Crystal."
I held it up for their perusal.
"That's the important thing." After a moment, Moon added, "Would you, er, mind...?"
"Ah! Say, that's quite the rosebush over there," I said while turning to look at the shrubbery instead of looking at Moon and Jupiter.
After a moment, Makoto replied, "That's a poinsettia plant."
"Oh, so it is," I answered, just before turning back to Usagi-san and Makoto-san.
"That's one Rainbow Crystal that we didn't get in the anime," Mako-chan commented. "Can we get another?"
I thought for a moment, then said, "We're going to have to tell Mars and Luna who I am. Each of them are directly involved in the remaining two manifestations of the Seven Great Youma. Usagi-san, could you set up a meeting while I figure out how much to tell them, please?"
Makoto-san and I stopped at the 7-12 convenience store on the way home. Yes, 7-12, not 7-11. Somebody was writing around trademarks. Stupid genre conventions.
"How much are you going to tell them?" Mako-chan asked while picking out a few staples for tonight's dinner, just in case I botched the meal.
No, I wasn't about to let her cook every night. Even if she was a better cook than I was. I would, however, let her teach me how to cook. It was only fair to let her take the lead in our studying sometimes, even if what we were studying were life skills instead of schoolwork.
"How much should I tell them?" I wondered aloud.
Makoto-san sighed at my question. There was a bit of annoyance in her voice as she asked me in return, "How much do you trust them?"
Yes, of course. I had to trust them. "Thank you, Mako-chan. From what I know about them, I trust them completely, so I tell them everything."
Two days later, after we'd shown off what we brought for lunch, Usagi-san asked me whether I'd ever visited a Shinto shrine.
"No, I haven't. Would it be alright for an unbeliever to make a visit like that?"
"Why would that matter?" Mako-chan replied. "It would be good for you to visit, Robu-san."
"Especially at the Hikawa shrine," Usagi-san added. I suddenly understood what she was really asking me... but my classmate Sato-san was nearby and could overhear what we were saying, so I couldn't tell them as much.
Ami-san added, "If you're polite and follow the instructions, you'll be fine."
I nodded in understanding. "Then my failure to visit before now might be taken as rudeness. I should pay my respects as soon as possible, shouldn't I?"
"Let's go right after class!" Usagi-san grinned.
Ami-san shook her head. "I have class duty today. You three go on without me."
"You two go ahead without me," Mako-chan added. "I have class duty today, too."
And so we visited the Hikawa shrine. I let Usagi-san lead me through the rituals, and finished off with making a donation to the shrine and making a prayer. "May the Sailor Senshi be successful in their actions against the Dark Kingdom."
"That's a fine thought, young man," came a voice behind me. I turned to see a short, bald, old priest.
Bowing in respect, I replied, "There is nothing that I want more than that, sir."
"Your desires are for others. You'll be a fine man after you graduate from school." He turned to Usagi-san, who was standing beside me. "Good afternoon, Tsukino-san. Are you here to become a miko, by any chance?" he asked with a smile.
"Not this time, ojiisan," she replied with a matching smile. Even if I hadn't seen the anime, I would have been able to tell that this was a private ritual of their own. "I brought my schoolmate here to present him to the kami, and now I'll introduce him to Rei-chan."
"Good, good. It's good that some of you youngsters care enough about the old ways to do so much. Rei was in her bedroom ten minutes ago,"
"Thank you, Jiijii!" Then she turned to me. "Come on, Robu-san, Rei-san should be off this way."
Bowing again to the priest, who was obviously Rei's grandfather, I let Usagi-san lead me "this way" to the house behind the shrine. An outsider like me wouldn't have been able to tell that it wasn't one of the shrine's outbuildings.
And that was because it was one of the shrine's outbuildings, repurposed to be a place to live, I realized as Usagi-san stopped at the door and said, "Rei-chan! We're here!"
A moment later and the door was opened to reveal a lovely young woman with long black hair. "What took you so long?"
"That was my fault," I replied. "This is my first visit to the shrine, and I felt it proper to pay my respects to the resident kami."
She turned to look at me... and looked up, and bit back whatever comment she was about to make. "It's not usual for people who aren't Japanese to do that, but it is good manners. I'm Hino Rei; pleased to meet you."
"I'm Rob Donaldson; happy to meet you," I replied while bowing.
She returned my bow, then said, "Please come in." Once we were inside - shoes off and slippers on, not just through the doorway - and she was sure we couldn't be overheard, Rei added, "Where are Ami-chan and Mako-chan?"
"They both had class duty," Usagi-san replied. "We thought you should meet Oni - Robu-san - without waiting for them."
"U-sa-gi..." Rei began with menace in her voice.
"Hino-san, I already know. And I will repeat the promise that I have already made to Usagi-san, Ami-san, and Mako-chan: I will not tell anyone who any of the Sailor Senshi are unless you give me permission."
Rei's attention was still on Usagi. "Why did you tell him?"
"I didn't! He already knew!"
"How?"
I replied, "The short answer, which is somewhat misleading, is that I come from three decades in the future."
"Oh, great. Everybody is going to find out about us."
Usagi-san turned to me. "Tell her about the anime."
Hino-san was suddenly suspicious. "What about an anime?"
By the time Ami-san (with Luna in her arms) and Mako-chan arrived, Hino-san was at the acceptance stage of the coping path. "This is really a separate Sailor Moon series, not the Sailor V show that I saw last week?"
"I didn't know you were a Sailor V fan too, Rei!"
"It's kind of difficult to be a Sailor Senshi and not like Sailor V," she admitted.
"Yes, it's a separate show," I confirmed.
"Does the anime tell all of our secrets?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "Well, I don't know. I don't know whether I know all of your secrets. But I suspect they do tell enough of your secrets that you'd be upset. Which is another reason why I'm not letting anybody see all of the episodes."
She sighed. "Thank you for that much, at least. Did they get a big name seiyuu to play me?"
Usagi-san was surprised by that question. "Rei-chan, what does it matter?" Then she turned to me. "What about the rest of us? Who plays us?"
"You got to read the credits of the episode that I showed you, Usagi-san."
"They were in English!"
"You should be able to read names by now, Usagi-san," Ami-san commented. "You're played by Mitsuishi Kotono-san."
"What!? But she plays a dog..."
"Look around you, odango-for-brains," Hino-san said. "Does this look like Mary Bell?"
"It could if you'd let me plant some flowers here," Mako-chan replied before Usagi-san could.
"You're not helping. And who plays you?"
"I have no idea, and I don't really care, either. It's not like I know how to read English, either."
Ami-san sighed. "You're going to have to learn, Mako-chan. Somebody named Shinohara Emi-san is your voice actress."
"Who?" Hino-san and Mako-chan asked in unison.
"B-ko?" asked Usagi-san.
"Who?" Hino-san and Mako-chan asked in unison again.
"You've gotta watch Project A-ko. I'll bring over the tape next time." Usagi-san turned to Ami-san. "What about your voice actress?"
"Well... I'm played by Hisakawa Aya-san."
"Oh, wow! Sumire from Sally the Witch? You might be the biggest name of all of us, Ami-san!"
"Am I? I don't know the names of the people who work in anime," she pointed out. "Luna is played by Han Keiko-san."
"I take it back," Usagi-san replied. "Luna's the biggest name of us all."
The Mau in question simply preened... which finally gave me a chance to answer the question that started off that digression. "Hino-san, your character was voiced by the same seiyuu who played Kasuga Manami on Kimagure Orange Road."
"Oh, that's fine. Tomizawa-san has a nice enough voice." Then the penny dropped. "But she wouldn't be working three decades from now. Would she? Or any of the others, either?"
Mentioning that her seiyuu had retired and come out of retirement would be yet another digression from what mattered. "Amazingly enough, they would, but they play older roles in the 2020s." Then I remembered Crystal. "Except Mitsuishi-san; she's still playing Usagi-san in the remake. That's why I said that my answer was misleading, even thought it's true. I came from the year 2022, but not this world's 2022. In my world, the anime that I showed Usagi-san, Ami-san, and Mako-chan was made in 1992."
Mako-chan added, "So it should be on television right now. Except that it isn't."
"Which means that either you've been mislead or your claim is correct and you aren't originally from our reality," Ami-san added.
"I did mention that I'm from a different reality when I showed the three of you the anime, ladies," I replied. And this was feeling like an expository recap filler sequence. But then the anime, especially during the Seven Great Youma storyline, was filled with expository recap filler sequences. Which meant I was going native. Stupid genre conventions. I decided to change the subject, and turned to the one person who I hadn't been introduced to yet. "Oh, but I'm being rude. You must be Luna. I'm Rob Donaldson; I'm happy to meet you. I've never met a Mau before."
Hearing me say her species name surprised Luna. "A... Mau? Why do I know that name?"
"It's as much your name as 'human' is mine."
She looked puzzled for a moment... which looked adorable on a cat's face. Then her face lit up with a smile of recognition. "I'm a Mau! I can ... what is it that I can do?"
This wasn't the time for her to try to remember that she can change into a human form. "You can talk, for one thing. Luna-san, might I impose on you to find someplace else to sit for a moment?" She hopped out of Ami-san's arms. "Thank you. Ami-san, I have something for you to hold onto for safekeeping." I pulled the Rainbow Crystal that we had taken from Nishimura-san (via Zoicite) out of my pocket and handed it to her. "I feel much more comfortable knowing that an actual Sailor Senshi has that."
"Thank you, Rob-san," she said as she put it with the crystal she had recovered from Urawa-san.
"You're just giving us a Rainbow Crystal?" I nodded in reply to Hino-san's question. "I guess you do trust us, after all."
"So," Usagi-san asked, "why's somebody from 2022 watching an anime that was made before he was born?"
So much for changing the subject.
"Because of cool and stylish characters like me," Hino-san explained, not entirely wrong.
"There's a place for style and a place for presence. And we all know who here has the most presence," Mako-chan said with a smile. She wasn't entirely wrong, either.
"Why, thank you, Mako-chan!"
"U-sa-gi..." Hino-san growled. Again.
I really didn't want to hear them fight. "Before I answer Usagi-san's question, I want the same promise from Hino-san and Luna-san that I already have from the rest of you. Will you promise me that you won't say anything about the anime or me to anybody unless I'm there with you?"
Hino-san thought about my question for a moment, then nodded. "You've already promised to keep our identities secret. And you're willing to trust us with a Rainbow Crystal. You can trust me with your secrets, too. I promise."
Luna... hedged her reply. "I won't tell any human being about you or your anime."
"Luna-san, I've already told you that I know you're not human. And your reply is making me think that you're in contact with another Mau. I need that promise from you."
"Luuu-naaa..." Usagi's tone of voice was verging on threatening.
I cleared my throat. "No coercion, please."
Everybody was silent for a moment. Finally, Luna said, "I promise that I won't say anything about the anime or you to anybody unless you're with me."
"Thank you, Luna-san. As for your question, Usagi-san... the anime is not older than I am. I've been rejuvenated to this age."
"That means you're as old as my father!"
I shook my head. "A bit older than that, Usagi-san. I'd rather not give my exact age."
"You aren't that old." Everybody turned to look at Mako-chan. "You have to be delusional." And you're in denial, Makoto-san, but why? "You can't be that old. I know! You're sick and saying things that you don't mean!" She leaned over and touched her forehead to mine, the way that Japanese mothers check their children for signs of a fever.
When we touched forehead-to-forehead, I suddenly "heard" her thoughts. « - over forty! He can't be that old. It's a lie! I can't be interested in somebody older than papa. I don't want another papa. Why - » And the flow of thoughts stopped when she pulled away from me. "You aren't running a fever."
I didn't say anything for a moment. Then I remembered that other power on the character sheet: memory copying. It shouldn't have worked this way, though; that was more like telepathy. I supposed surface thoughts were the easiest to get... and skin-to-skin contact was the easiest way to get them.
"Are you okay, Robu-san?"
"What?" I blinked a couple of times. "I think I'm okay, Usagi-san. Mako-chan, we need to talk. In private. Later. Right now, it's time to discuss youma."
"Right," Hino-san agreed with me. "That anime says who the other two hosts are, right?" I nodded. "Who's the next one we'll face?"
"Your grandfather."
"He's nowhere nearby, so he won't overhear us." I just waited for her to realize I wasn't raising a concern. "Oh, no. Ojiisan is a youma?"
"He hosts a youma." I turned to Usagi. "So when - not if - he starts acting strangely, it is not 'endearing' or 'cute' or 'a pleasant change'; he'll be fighting to keep the Rainbow Crystal inside himself. And he'll end up losing."
"I have to be the one who brings him down when he finally loses control," our hostess announced with steel in her voice.
"Of course," Usagi-san replied. "He's your family."
"The only family I have left that I care about."
That interaction was much better than how they acted in canon over the same issue. I decided to give it a bit of a boost. "Hino-san, Usagi-san can bring him back with her Moon Healing Escalation, but only after you bring him down to human-level power. The two of you will have to work together to save him from a fate worse than death."
We spent the next hour talking about the best ways to bring "Youma Jiji" back to human and how to handle the final Youma - the one sealed in the body of the cat called Rhett Butler.
Then we did our homework, after Usagi-san called home to tell them she'd be late and where she was. As long as we were together, we may as well have a study session. Ami-san impressed the others by actually having a conversation with me in English, and I impressed the others by helping her with basic matrix mathematics, which she was learning at juku. (Even Hino-san had no idea what matrix mathematics was.) And Ami-san helped me with science (I never was good at biology the first time around, being too squeamish to dissect a frog), we both helped the others with English and math, and the others helped me with Japanese history and Japanese literature. All in all, it went well, and we finished off our assignments just as Hino-san's grandfather brought in a simple dinner for everyone. Of course we invited him to join us at the table, and she acted as our hostess.
I had trouble sleeping that night. I literally could not forget Makoto-san's thoughts.
Just how was she "interested" in me?
It wasn't until Saturday that I had a chance to speak with Mako-chan alone.
Hino-san was at the shrine and Usagi-san was with her. The elder Hino was acting oddly, and Usagi-san - instead of dismissing his behaviour the way she did in canon - decided that the best way to keep an eye on him was to accept his offer of becoming a miko, at least part-time. Which I completely approved of, and not just because she'd be in a better position to watch Hino-san's grandfather. She needed a bit of self-discipline in her life.
Ami-san was unavailable for the best of reasons; her mother was not on-call at the hospital, and the elder and younger Mizunos were taking the opportunity to spend time together. (When she told us her plans, I carefully did not ask about her father.)
This left Mako-chan and me with an afternoon all to ourselves. Assuming, of course, that Hino-san's grandfather didn't go youma on us.
We started by stocking up on specials and staples at the supermarket. There weren't any baseball playoff specials this year - neither the Swallows nor the Lions were owned by companies that owned supermarkets - but we still managed to find decent deals on rice and soy sauce.
Once we had our purchases safely in our own apartments, Makoto-san and I made ourselves comfortable at her place. "What's so important that we couldn't talk about it where the others could overhear us, Robu-san?"
I'd had some time to figure out how I was going to open the topic, but I still wasn't sure how she'd take it. "I discovered that I have another power."
"Sonething you can use to fight the Dark Kingdom?"
I shook my head. "Not unless we can pin a Dark General down and keep him from teleporting away. When the two of us touched foreheads, I heard your thoughts."
She blushed more deeply than I've ever seen her blush before.
"Yeah. I don't want to be your father, Makoto-san."
"What... do you want to be?" she whispered.
In response, I reached for her hand... and she let me take it.
« - please Kami-sama oh please tell me what I want to hear Robu-san please - »
I let go of her hand. Quickly. "Oh, my. I want to be close to you, but just holding your hand let me hear what you were thinking. You really want something. I didn't hear what it was."
"Does this mean we can never touch each other again without you hearing my thoughts?" Makoto-san looked aghast.
And I realized that I didn't want that either. "Oh, I really hope not."
"Why can you read my thoughts? And why can't I read yours?" she added sadly.
"I don't know, Mako-chan. If my theory is right and whoever it was who rejuvenated me did give me powers based on a character I created a while ago, then I should be getting a copy of your entire mind over a ten-minute reading, not your surface thoughts as you're thinking them in real time."
"Sounds like your theory isn't right, then."
I nodded. "It would have been nice if the power did work that way, and you'd let me copy your mind."
"Why?"
"Because..." I thought for a moment, and realized what I'd been carefully avoiding thinking about since I met Mako-chan. "Because I don't want to lose you."
That got a smile from her - the first smile I'd seen on her face all day. "I'm not going anywhere now, Robu-san."
"It isn't that."
"Then what is it? Are you going somewhere?"
"I'm not planning on leaving. Although I didn't plan on coming here, either."
"Then why ..." She stopped for a minute, and her smile disappeared. "This is something you saw in the anime, isn't it? Robu-san, does something happen to me?" I didn't say anything, but my thoughts must have shown on my face. Makoto-san kept talking, but there was a note of fear in her voice. "Robu-san... do any of the Sailor Senshi get hurt while we're fighting the Dark Kingdom?" Again, I didn't reply. "Somebody dies, doesn't she? Who... who is the first Sailor Senshi to die?"
I wasn't about to lie to her. I whispered, "Sailor Jupiter. And I don't want that to happen."
She hugged me tightly. "I don't want that to happen, either."
Then I realized that I wasn't hearing her thoughts - she'd said that aloud. Surprised, I commented, "My telepathy is turned off."
She looked disappointed. "Oh."
Then I had a thought. Extracting myself from her hug and turning away from her, I asked, "Would you transform, please? I want to try something, and you need to have some control over electricity for it."
"I don't mind being seen, if it's by you."
"I don't mind seeing, if it's you, but I don't want to be distracted."
"Alright. Jupiter Power, Make-up!" And a moment later, she said, "It's done."
I turned back to Sailor Jupiter. "If you can, I want you to use your power to look at the electricity moving through my brain." And I hoped my mental power would activate.
Without touching her, I heard Jupiter's thoughts. « - he ask for that? I can't see power. No, wait, I can. Isn't that what we learned in science class yesterday? Thoughts are electrical. And it looks like Robu-san is trying to help, I guess. He's such a good person. I want - no, we're working right now. His mind's doing something weird over there. I wonder if I could do that. Concentrate here, and here, and - Wow! Echo! »
She could hear her thoughts in my thoughts?
« Yeah, I can! That's so great! »
« Can you turn it off? I don't want your brain to burn out. I just realized how special you are to me. I don't want to lose you. »
She smiled when I thought that she was special. A moment later, Jupiter said, "It's off now. Is yours off?"
I nodded. "Yeah. I saw in your thoughts how you turned the power on and off, and I can do the same thing now."
"Good," She grinned... and transformed back to her non-Senshi form without giving me any warning.
She flashed me on purpose. Didn't she?
Her smile turned into a grin. "Yep!"
"Did I say that out loud?"
"No, but I wanted to see whether I could do that mind-reading thing without being Sailor Jupiter."
Oh, boy. Are our neighbours safe? Don't turn into a monster and make me stop loving you, Mako-chan.
Her grin disappeared, replaced by a hopeful smile. "You love me?"
As I sorted through my own emotions, she continued, "I'm trying to read other people's minds, but I can't. I can only read yours."
I turned my power back on. « - when is he going to take the hint oh there you are! I don't want to read anybody else's mind, just yours. Do you really love me? Stop thinking of pink elephants and answer my question. Please? »
She deserved an answer. And I finally had one for her. "Makoto, I love you." And I thought about how I loved her - her strength, both moral and physical, her sense of justice, her ability to make me happy just by being nearby, her beauty, and more - as I said the words.
« Squeeeee!!! » "I love you too, Robu!"
And I could sense how she loved me, too - my readiness to comfort her, my willingness to accept her as she is rather than trying to change her into a proper student, my not asking about her past despite knowing her two biggest claims to fame, my desire to help her rather than tell her what to do, my friendliness toward her and her friends, my thinking her height was an asset instead of a liability, and more. « This is going to be a weird relationship, isn't it? »
« Yeah, but it's our relationship. Oh I like that idea. And that one, you'd look good in the green that I wear sometimes. Not that idea, that's too kinky. Hey, no fair switching to thinking in English. You're an oni sometimes. I may as well turn the mind-reading off now. »
As I turned my mental power off as well, I wondered what was so kinky about kissing in public. Then I remembered that the Japanese equated kissing with foreplay. "Let's leave that power turned off for the rest of the day, okay... my dearest?"
"That's a good idea, darling. Mind reading is harder work that I thought while I was doing it. But at least I know you aren't lying to me, the way some boys did." After a moment, Makoto asked, "What do we tell everyone else?"
"Good question. This isn't Senshi business yet; right now, it only concerns the two of us."
"I can't tell Usagi-san that you finally said you love me?"
I could read her mind, but I couldn't read her mood. Go figure. That would come later, as it does in any relationship. "I was thinking of whether we can teach the others how to read minds. And I don't want to try any experiments there until Hino-san's grandfather is safe."
She pouted. "You're an oni, thinking of other girls right after confessing your love to me."
"Sorry."
She grinned. "I'm kidding! If you didn't think of helping other people, I wouldn't love you as much."
I slipped an arm around her waist, and she moved in to reciprocate. It wasn't our first hug, but it wasn't a chaste hug, either.
"There's something else I want to try after Hino-san's grandfather is safe and before we tell the others. I still want to copy your mind into mine."
"Why?"
"So I'll still have you even if we can't change the future."
That wiped the smile off of Makoto's face. "Yeah. I guess living on inside you is better than being completely dead. But you're right; we can't take the time to try when we could be called by Rei-san and Usagi-san."
"And we can't go out on proper dates, either," I sighed.
"Oh, you'd better believe we're going out on dates, darling!"
We spent the rest of the afternoon at a mall, finding a shirt for me that matched the shade of green of the top she'd bought just after the first time she became Sailor Jupiter, then having dinner out together. It wasn't a bad date - heck, it was a great date made even better by each of us knowing exactly what the other thought of the two of us being a couple - but it also wasn't as much fun as it could have been since we were half-expecting one of the other Senshi to page Makoto.
They didn't. And that made me wonder when we'd need to deal with Youma Jiji.
We discovered the next day that we didn't need to deal with Youma Jiji - Hino-san and Usagi-san, working together, had taken care of him on their own and managed to grab the Rainbow Crystal. Zoicite was moving more slowly than he had in the past, and he was wearing armour. I assumed that those two facts were related.
His armour included gauntlets. Aw, poor boy; I must have cracked or broken a bone the last time we met. Anything that made his job harder and our job easier was fine by me.
The girls were far more impressed by Makoto and me showing up at the Hikawa shrine in matching outfits. They mobbed her and demanded details, leaving me alone to meet the shrine's new hire, Yuuichirou-san. My first impression of him was that he was a big, lovable dork; if I didn't know from the anime that his family was as rich as (but not as important as) the Hino family, I would have dismissed him as a wannabe social climber who was trying to use Hino-san as a stepping-stone to a better life.
Hino-ojiisan was doing fine. This was the first time that I'd had the opportunity to talk with somebody who had been "refreshed" after the fact. He remembered the experience, but wasn't willing to give any specifics on the people who had rescued him from it. And that made me uncork my mind-reading to find out whether he really didn't know or was protecting his granddaughter's secrets... only to discover that I couldn't read his mind.
I couldn't read Yuuichirou-san's mind, either. Or Usagi-san's. But I'd never made skin-to-skin contact with any of them, either. This was something that I... no, Makoto and I... would have to investigate later.
Mako-chan and I managed to keep our relationship secret at school.
For three days.
We really needed to find some friends other than the Senshi. But we both had the same problem: we were so tall that we intimidated our classmates. When I visited her in class 6 at the start of lunch break that day, I heard one of her classmates say, "He's even worse than Kino-san!"
Which I shrugged off, but Makoto didn't.
Which lead to us ending up in the vice-principal's office. Makoto was required to be there; I went along as moral support and as a witness. The student who made the comment showed up eventually, after her classmates helped her calm down.
Don't get the wrong idea. Mako-chan didn't raise a finger against her classmate. But the vehemence of her verbal defence of me was enough to give the poor girl a horrid fright.
I did my best to protect everybody from official censure. I honestly didn't know who the girl was; I hadn't learned Aoyama-san's name before the vice-principal used it. So I was able to say honestly that it was somebody I didn't know who'd made the comment. And Makoto was obviously coming to my defence as required by the camaraderie rules in the students' handbook.
So nobody was expelled or suspended, but we all had to listen to a lecture about considering our classmates' feelings that took up most of the lunch break.
The vice-principal was not happy to hear that somebody who wasn't Japanese was dating a survivor of JAL123. But it wasn't his call to make, and I quite politely told him so before Makoto could complain the way she did in class an hour earlier. I could tell that I didn't convince him, but he let us go without further punishment.
And Aoyama-san - a girl with a depressed nose root and projecting cheekbones, which hinted that she was from Hokkaido, and who wore her raven hair in a shoulder-length cut - apologized to both of us once we were out of the vice-principal's office.
The next day, everybody in school knew that the two tallest students were an item. It wasn't Aoyama-san who told the world, it was her classmates, repeating what Makoto had said when she was angry.
Aoyama-san asked whether she could buy lunch for us, in order to make up for being responsible for us missing an earlier lunch. Instead, we invited her to have lunch with us.
By the time we had to go back to class, Ichigo-san was on a given-name basis with all of us. Thanks to Usagi-san, of course.
I don't care what the fans say. Sailor Moon's most impressive power is the Power of Friendship. And I don't mean Nanoha style. Drop Usagi-san into Equestria and she'd be in charge in a week.
Ami-san visited Makoto after school the next day. They spent an hour or so alone together, then Mako-chan knocked on my door and invited me over.
I closed my English textbook - I was reading up on what the Japanese did differently from native English speakers - and headed next door, to discover Ami-san was getting Makoto's help with her Home Economics homework. "We need a taste tester," Makoto grinned.
It looked like I was going to have curry for dinner - home made, not from a mix. "I'd be honoured."
Ami-san is many things, including a genius, beautiful, kind, an introvert, and Sailor Mercury. She is not, however, a gourmet chef.
Not to say that the curry was bad, mind you. It was easily as good as what I could make when I wanted something mild. But I'm not a gourmet chef, either.
Makoto and I both offered our opinion of the meal. I was more generous in my assessment than Mako-chan was, but Ami-san accepted both of our criticisms in the spirit that they were offered.
While I helped clean up after dinner, Ami-san remarked, "You two are working together so well that I'd almost think you're a married couple."
I smiled at the thought. Makoto replied, "Oh, I hope that'll happen some day. But not now, while we have to worry about the Dark Kingdom."
"And we're both too young to get married in Japan," I added.
"That, too," Mako-chan agreed dismissively. "No, we work so well together because we're reading each other's minds."
"You're what?"
I sighed. "I guess we have to tell her now."
So we did. At length. Including her testing us by whispering a question in one person's ear and hearing an answer from the other person.
She insisted on taking measurements with the Mercury Computer. Which we both sat through with as much dignity as we could muster.
After a few minutes, Makoto said, "This would be the perfect time for you to try copying my mind."
Ami-san looked shocked. "You can do that, Rob-san?"
"I don't know. Maybe. I hope so."
Ami-san's shock turned into curiosity. "Why would you want to copy Mako-chan's mind?"
After a short moment, I answered, "I'd rather not say." I wasn't about to lie to either of the ladies in the room or to Usagi-san, but that didn't mean I needed to tell the whole truth.
"Coward." We both turned to look at Makoto. "You're afraid of losing me. I'm afraid of you losing me, too."
Now Ami-san was puzzled. "Why? Are either of you going somewhere?"
I sighed deeply. How could somebody that book-smart be that naive? Rather easily, I realized later but not then. "According to the anime, which I'm doing what I can to change, that 'somewhere' is the undiscovered country."
Ami-san dropped the Mercury Computer in shock. Apparently she knew Hamlet. After a long moment, she whispered, "When?"
"After you locate Queen Beryl's base and take the fight to her."
"And Robu tells me that Sailor Jupiter is the first to fall."
Ami-san leaned over and picked up the Mercury Computer. Without looking at us, she asked, "Is she the only one to die?"
I still wasn't about to lie to her. "No."
Ami switched to English, and hesitantly asked. "When... when do I die?"
She'd finally figured out the situation. In the same language, I replied, "I'm so sorry. Unless things change, you're the second Senshi to fall."
"I don't want to die..." And the quiet introvert forced herself onto me, head touching head. "Copy my mind. Please."
Unlike when Makoto did the same thing, I couldn't hear her thoughts. I couldn't hear Mako-chan's thoughts while I was touching Ami-san head-to-head, either. But I did sense Ami-san's memories and personality flowing into my mind. I quickly set up a compartment for her... "brainprint" is as good a name as any... so that her thoughts wouldn't mix with mine. Then I wondered how I knew how to do that. I'd never done any exercises that would have let me set up something like a memory palace or some other form of thought container in the past.
I just knew. Stupid genre conventions.
Finally the flow ceased. "It's done. Are you okay?" I asked in Japanese.
"I'm still me," Ami-san replied. "And I'm sorry that I forced you to do that."
"It's alright, Ami-san. I don't mind... although I would have preferred to have copied Mako-chan's mind first."
Makoto giggled, then asked, "Still thinking about me even when you have another pretty girl in your arms, Robu?"
I smiled as I let Ami-san stand on her own. "Of course. I always have you in my mind, my dearest."
"Not yet, you don't!" As she moved in to take Ami-san's place, I sensed her think, « What is "Head on! Apply directly to the forehead!" supposed to mean? »
« Just a bit of silliness. Brainprint now, explanation later. »
So Makoto and I spent ten minutes sitting together with forehead touching forehead. Ami-san had the Mercury Computer out, recording the entire process.
At the end of that time, I said, "And now I'll never be alone. I'll always have my girlfriend and our closest friend to keep me company." I was in no hurry to let go of Makoto, the way I had let go of Ami-san earlier, but we stopped our hug out of consideration for our closest friend.
Then I had a thought. "Did you get a brainprint of me?"
Mako-chan sighed and frowned. "No. I think that's something only you can do. Unless Ami-chan can help us there."
Ami-san shook her head. "I can barely decipher these readings. There's no way I can turn them into something useful so quickly."
"Let's not worry about that right now. Oh, and despite having a copy of your mind inside my head, I can't read your mind the way I can read Makoto's."
"Can you still read my mind?" Mako-chan asked with a bit of worry in her voice.
"Yes," « and I can tell you're reading mine. My dearest. »
« With a lot of trouble, my darling. You're about to fall asleep. »
I nodded, then turned to Ami-san, and said in English, "Putting two people into me took a lot out of me. I need to go get some rest. Thank you for making dinner."
"Thank you for giving me a chance to survive in even the small way that you have."
"Good night, ladies," I said in Japanese as I left.
I had a lot to think about... and two new perspectives to help me think.
After a nap but before I turned in for the night, I finished my homework. It wasn't until I was halfway through my science homework that I realized I was pulling some of the answers out of Ami-san's brainprint.
I'd left the curtains open, so the morning sunlight woke me up before my alarm did. I spent a quarter-hour going through my thoughts as I thought them, and came to the conclusion that my thoughts were my own, not Ami-san's or Makoto's.
I skipped ahead in my Japanese history textbook - something Ami-san would know but I wouldn't - and did a sample quiz. The Ami-san in my head wasn't thinking on her own; it was more accurate to say that I had a massive database of her thoughts and personality up to the moment that I completed the brainprint.
And the brainprint of Makoto was also a vast memory database. I found myself crying as I looked at her memories of JAL123... and resolved then and there to stay out of that part of her brainprint forever.
Then it was time to wash up, eat, and get changed into my school uniform. In that order. The morning rituals done, I met Makoto just outside my door and we walked to the bus stop, hand in hand.
Lunchtime, and after what we were calling the Revealing Of The Lunches, Aoyama-san - sorry, Ichigo-san - commented on what Mako-chan and I had brought. "Neither one of those is a balanced meal... but they complement each other to make two balanced meals."
Makoto smiled, and I answered, "I'm getting better at knowing how Mako-chan thinks." That caused Ami-san to smile as well.
Usagi-san didn't smile... or notice.
"Tsukino-san, is something wrong?"
"How often do I have to ask you to call me Usagi, Ichigo-san? Yeah, my cat Luna isn't feeling well. I think maybe she got into a fight this morning."
"Oh, dear," I commented, while wondering how I was going to proceed with Ichigo-san sitting right beside us.
« Proceed with what? »
« Telling you that it's time to get the last Rainbow Crystal, my dearest. We're not going to Shinagawa, but it's time to see cats. »
« Darling, that's a terrible pun. »
« Sorry. »
"Look at these two, just staring into each other's eyes as they eat out of each other's bento," Ichigo-san commented. "I wish I had a boyfriend."
"Oh, I'm sorry!" Mako-chan and I said in unison.
That made everybody laugh. Yes, even Ami-san.
Mistaken identities. Cats. More subtle references to Gone With the Wind than you could shake an Academy Award at. Youma cat. Zoicite. Sewers. Rats. Zoicite covered in sewer rats. Tuxedo Kamen getting the final Rainbow Crystal.
And I couldn't change a thing.
This did not fill me with hope that I could change the final fight and keep Makoto alive.
All I could do was remind myself that tomorrow is another day.
The next day, I made my apologies to Makoto and visited the post office to withdraw enough cash for a couple of weeks. I do appreciate the "one stop service" mentality that led Japan to offer banking service at the post office. Instead of using the ATM and paying the service fee, I stood in line and had my passbook updated when I received the cash that I needed.
I sat down in a quiet corner and checked my passbook after it was updated... to discover that my balance was close to what it had been before I bought the printer. Which made me curious. I flipped back a few pages and discovered two things: first, that there was activity on the account before I arrived in this reality, and second, that somebody was replenishing the account at least once a week. During normal working hours. My balance had been stable, almost to the yen, since late August. Despite my not being in this universe until September, and my buying a printer.
Somebody out there was looking after my financial affairs, and from the timing of the transactions I doubted that it was the father that my paperwork said I had but I still had yet to meet or hear from.
Of course, the anime never explained where Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune got their money from, either.
Stupid genre conventions.
As I headed home from the post office, I noticed that I was being followed by a man who was about as tall as me, wearing formal evening wear, a cape, a top hat, and a mask. Either Kunzite was impersonating Tuxedo Mask or the genuine article had taken an interest in me. Or somebody was cosplaying as a super, but how many people in a culture that prizes conformity are both our height and interested in obvious cosplay outside of conventions? I dismissed the cosplayer idea immediately, which left me with two possibilities; either way, I knew I needed to check it out.
I headed into an alleyway. Sure enough, "Tux-boy" followed me in. "Do you have some business with me?"
"I believe you have something that I need."
I decided to play dumb. "The cash that I just withdrew is in my wallet." I reached for my pocket, slowly.
"I'm not a thief. I need the Rainbow Crystal that you have."
"Ah. Why should I simply hand it over to somebody who I've never met before? For all I know, you could be a youma dressed up for a formal ball."
In response, he threw a rose past me. I heard it "thunk" into the wall.
"All right, you're probably Tuxedo Kamen. But I can't be sure. Not that it matters, because I don't have the Rainbow Crystal any more."
"Where is it?"
"Some place safe. I don't know the specifics."
"Who has it?"
I knew that my answer would determine whether this person was Tuxedo Mask or Kunzite. "I'm not going to tell you that."
He turned on his heel and left. Since he didn't attack me, I assumed that he wasn't Kunzite.
I skipped grocery shopping and went straight home. The first thing I did there was get out the laptop and call Ami-san, to let her know what had happened... and to alert her that she was probably the next in line for a visit from our caped ally.
Only after that did I go next door and ask Makoto whether she had plans for the weekend.
"I was going to sit at home and do nothing, but I guess I could spend time with you instead," she replied with a grin. « Especially if this is a date, or Senshi business. »
« It might be both. » "I have two tickets for Dreamland. Would you care to spend Saturday afternoon with me?"
"I'd love to!" « What's going to happen? »
"I'll meet you here right after we get changed out of our school uniforms." « Zoicite's probably going to try to get our Rainbow Crystals. »
"It's a date!" « And if he doesn't? »
« Then we enjoy a date at the theme park. » "I'll see you then!"
She smiled that lovely smile of hers.
I returned to my apartment, but Makoto and I kept reading each other's minds while we did our homework. Nice to know that she didn't need to be in the same room for us to be able to make contact that way.
Saturday arrived, as it has a habit of doing once Friday leaves.
Classes ensued, but only for the morning. Usagi-san left before the rest of us could, but we weren't too far behind her.
Makoto and I wore the matching outfits that we had worn when we visited the Hikawa shrine after Rei's grandfather was "refreshed". There was a line to get into Dreamland when we arrived, but it was short; we ended up behind a blonde girl with twintails.
"It looks like they're letting rabbits into the park now," Makoto said quietly.
Usagi-san turned around and held a finger up to her lips. "Shhh! Don't let them know I'm here!" Then she lowered her hand. "What are you doing here?"
"We are on a date," Mako-chan announced as she took my arm in hers. "What are you doing here?"
"Well..." She looked at the ground as we moved closer to the front gate. "I want to make sure Naru-chan's feeling okay. Is that going to be a problem?"
"Not at all," I replied. "In fact, it's probably a good thing you're here," I added while using one finger to draw a crescent moon shape in the air.
She blinked, then sighed. "I'd better stay close to her," she announced just as she was let through the gate.
"See you later!" Mako-chan said as we followed her in, then turned to go in a different direction. We were easily the two most visible people in the park; we didn't want to spoil Usagi-san's shadowing of Naru-san and Umino-san.
Makoto enjoyed the roller coaster. I didn't. « I'm sorry, darling! If I knew you couldn't handle jet coasters, I wouldn't have insisted. »
« No, I should have told you ahead of time, » I thought as I emptied my stomach's contents into a bag, off where nobody could see us.
As a result of my ... issues ... we ended up sitting at the outdoor cafe nearest the special events stage just as the Redman show was beginning. "Too bad that isn't Red Lad instead of Redman," I commented while thinking of Kohran from Sakura Wars, both in her Red Lad costume and in her kohbu.
« I want one of those! » Makoto grinned mentally. "Oh, the kids look like they're enjoying watching it," she commented aloud as I looked over the crowd.
After I spotted Usagi-san, I replied, "The kids and the rabbits both. Somebody should make a note of this, but I didn't bring a pen."
« Is that a subtle hint that I should get my transformation pen ready, darling? »
« Got it in one, my dearest, » I thought back at her as we both stood up and took the remains of our drinks to the second-closest wastebin... the one that was in a nice, quiet corner.
But we didn't make it there before Zoicite arrived.
Stupid genre conventions.
Of course he wanted the Rainbow Crystals; he had out the black crystal that could track them down. "I know you're here somewhere, Sailor Moon! Give me the Yellow and Indigo Rainbow Crystals and nobody gets hurt!"
One of the children in the audience asked his friend, "Is this part of the show?"
I raced away from Makoto; having already seen in my mind what I had planned, she took off in the opposite direction. Then I shouted, "NO, IT ISN'T! RUN! NOW!"
"Aah! Oni!" Some of the younger kids ran for their parents. I turned my attention to Zoicite. "We meet again, Zoicite! This time I'm ready for you!"
"And just what do you plan to do this time?" he sneered.
"Isn't it obvious? Distract you!" I answered as a thrown rose came from the direction Zoicite wasn't looking in and cut his cheek. "By the way, nice armour." I created a nice, sparkly forcefield battering ram and knocked him down with it.
That got most of the rest of the children to run.
Zoicite stood up, unharmed except for the cut on his cheek, as Tuxedo Kamen walked toward us. "You're both here. Good. I can take the crystals you have," he pointed at the caped hero, "and then kill you unless Sailor Moon hands over the crystals she has." Needless to say, he was pointing at me when he said that.
I laughed. "The last time we met, you had to teleport away to get free of me."
"Oh, but I'm not your opponent this time." He pointed that damned black crystal at what was left of the Redman show's audience - and shot a bolt from it.
From the anime, I knew that the bolt would transform whoever it hit into a youma.
Unlike in the anime, Zoicite didn't miss his target.
Naru Osaka-san. Student. Friend of Usagi Tsukino-san. The only actual friend that Nephrite had before Zoicite killed him. Youma magnet. And, now, a youma herself.
Her short-sleeved dress looked like a slice from the night sky had been used for the fabric, and her kumadori makeup looked fierce, although her hair was still wavy, short, and just a shade darker brown than mine. She looked nothing like Queen Beryl did in the anime; if I ever met Shadowjack, I'd have to tell him he got that detail wrong.
"She's your opponent while I deal with him!" And Zoicite proceeded to ignore me and go after Tuxedo Kamen.
I had no choice but to let them fight it out without me. I had somebody more important to deal with. Somebody whose date, I might add, I saw cut and run as soon as she was transformed.
"Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!" Aargh. That was the second-most-annoying noblewoman's laugh I'd ever heard. But at least she was focused on me. "Kneel before me and your death will be swift and painless!" she announced as she manifested a Zweihänder sword made from a single diamond. "Otherwise, it will be slow and agonizing!"
"You're not going to kill him at all! Guarded by the Planet of Thunder, Sailor Jupiter is here!"
« You were supposed to get Usagi-san! »
« I did! » I saw through Makoto's eyes Sailor Moon heading for the battle from behind the stage where I couldn't see her directly.
Youma-Naru-san laughed again. Please stop laughing. "Another sacrifice for master Zoicite!" She pointed her sword at Jupiter, one-handed and arm fully extended, and a bolt of energy shot from it directly at my girlfriend.
I hit top speed from a standing start and got in its way.
At least she wasn't hurt. I, however, was completely encased in a giant diamond. Uncut and not polished.
No other option. Manifest a cutting forcefield right at my face - sharper than obsidian, tougher than diamond - and slice a hole in the diamond. As soon as I could breathe, I made a forcefield tube to make sure the diamond wouldn't "heal" the hole that I'd made.
Then I turned my attention back to the battle. I couldn't hear a thing, but I could see that Jupiter was attacking Naru-san's sword with a "Jupiter Railgun" attack. Alas, the ball bearings simply bounced off. And here I thought diamonds were brittle.
Then I saw a spinning tiara hit Naru-san from the side. Everybody turned to look in the direction it had come from, except for me; I couldn't turn my head at all. I also didn't bother listening to Sailor Moon's speech through Makoto's ears; I was busy carving slices off of my prison in an attempt to get free and join the fight.
Then Moon kicked Naru-san. Much to my surprise, a Sailor Kick actually knocked her down.
I finally got a look at Usagi-san; she looked pissed off. I'd be pissed off too, if my best friend was turned into a youma. She launched a Moon Healing Escalation from point-blank range.
Suddenly I was free, just in time to hear Naru shout "Refresh!" and return to herself.
I'd never seen Sailor Moon take down a youma that quickly, and, judging from Makoto's thoughts, neither had Sailor Jupiter. « That rabbit's dynamite, » I thought.
« No time for pop-culture references, darling! Zoicite turned the Redman actor into a youma, too! »
Looked like I had changed things... for the worse. The bad guys were getting smarter.
We got to the other fight just in time to see Zoicite take Tuxedo Kamen's Rainbow Crystals and teleport away. Tux-Boy looked to be in bad shape, being trapped in a giant marimo ball like that.
Somebody needs to learn how to dodge.
Yes, I know the hypocrisy inherent in that statement. I did it on purpose.
I was still catching my breath and in no shape to help Moon and Jupiter take down the second youma. Nor did I particularly care. The entire afternoon had gone poorly, other than my interrupted date with Makoto. For the Redman actor and Tuxedo Kamen's sake, I asked, "Ladies, has anyone seen my girlfriend? Tall girl, wearing the same colour top that I'm wearing..."
"We'll go look for her!" Moon announced as she and Jupiter took off. Turning back to the others, I saw that Tux-Boy had disappeared as well, leaving me to help the actor to the aid station behind the stage.
Once he was in the hands of somebody who could do a better job of caring for him than I could, I headed out to find the others. At human-normal speed. I knew that the party was over, so I saw no reason to be speeding around the park.
I finally found Usagi and Makoto, comforting Naru. Makoto noticed me first and touched her eyelid with a finger pointing toward the sky. "Eye in the Sky" was a code we'd worked out that we wanted the other person to read our mind. Yes, it's from the Alan Parsons Project song that some people say equated reading minds with falling out of love, but Makoto and I had found that reading each other's minds made us fall more deeply in love with each other. Usually. And we loved each other enough to respect each other's boundaries. As soon as I had that power back on, I thought, « What's wrong? »
« She remembers everything that she did. And everything Umino-san did. »
« Or didn't do, » I thought with disgust.
« Be fair. If he'd stayed, he would have been the first victim. »
« Yeah. Mindreading off for now; I want to concentrate on talking. » And I joined the others. "There you are, my dearest!"
Makoto looked up. "Robu! You're safe!"
"Thanks to Sailor Moon, yes. Oh, hi, Usagi-san. And you are...?"
"Osaka Naru," she said quietly.
"Rob Donaldson. I wish the circumstances of our meeting were better, but I'm still pleased to meet you."
She looked up at me. "You're the one that Sailor Moon called 'oni', aren't you? I'm sorry."
That must have been while I couldn't hear anything. "Yes, I am. You weren't yourself, Osaka-san. And, as you can see, I'm perfectly fine. Oh, and before you ask whether I know who Sailor Moon is, consider this: Do you think she'd appreciate me telling other people her secrets?"
"No, of course she wouldn't." Usagi-san sighed in relief; I think Naru-san didn't notice.
Makoto turned her attention from me to Naru-san and Usagi-san. "I'm going to be terribly selfish and spend the rest of the afternoon with my boyfriend. Usagi-san, can you take care of Osaka-san?"
"I'll make sure she gets home safely."
"Then let's go, darling," Makoto insisted as she took my arm.
As son as we were out of earshot of whispers, I quietly asked, "What's the rush?"
"Naru-san's date who cut and run is heading over here."
"Right." We intercepted him. When big people want to intercept somebody, that somebody gets intercepted. "Kid," Makoto said in a decent Yakuza imitation, "she don't wanna see you right now."
"But I'm her boyfriend!"
"She's with her best friend," I replied, not unkindly. "Talk to her later. Right now, Osaka-san needs Tsukino-san, not you. I hear they've been friends for years."
Umino-san looked like he was going to argue, then deflated. "You're right. If anybody can get Naru-chan to cheer up, it's Usagi-san." Then he turned and headed for the park's exit.
As I watched him leave, I said quietly, "I really hope that that was the right thing to do."
It wasn't until I'd escorted Makoto home after dinner that I realized Naru-san's makeup in youma form had been blue, not brown.
By kabuki standards, that meant she was no mere monster at the time.
I immediately fired up the laptop and sent a text to Ami-san, asking her to ask Usagi-san to invite Naru-san to lunch on Monday and telling her why.
Lunch on Monday did not go well. Or it went fantastically well. I'm still not sure which.
It started, as always, with the ritual Revealing Of The Lunches. Ami-san brought sandwiches, of course. Usagi-san brought three different kinds of onigiri, and Ichigo-san had zangi (which was the second hint I'd had that she was from Hokkaido), gyoza with negi, and noodles. Naru-san's bento held pork katsudon. Makoto and I went vegetarian because she was short on cash: inarizushi and kappamaki, with edamame and pickles.
"Hey, yokai for the oni!"
Makoto and I both looked at Ichigo-san, to see the smile on her face. "Cute," I replied before Makoto could get upset.
She still asked, "Which of us is the oni?"
"Isn't it obvious? You both are! Robu-san is the red oni who wants to be everybody's friend, and Mako-chan, you're the blue oni who charges to his defence."
"I'm not planning on going anywhere, though," Makoto quickly insisted.
Seeing my puzzled look, Ami-san explained, "It's a reference to 'Naita Aka Oni'. We learn it in kindergarten here."
Eating commenced.
Then Ichigo-san had to try to find out more about Naru-san, which is when things started going downhill. "Osaka-san, do you have a boyfriend?"
Which she could have handled if somebody hadn't been passing by behind us at the moment. At least I hope he was passing by and not stalking Naru-san. "Excuse me, but I couldn't help but overhear. I'm Umino Guiro, and I'm Naru-chan's boyfriend."
"No, you're not."
Naru-san had said it quietly, but it rang out like a gunshot.
"But..."
"You ran away when things got dangerous. Donarudoson-san jumped in front of an attack that was aimed at Kino-san. I know how boyfriends act. I have no boyfriend."
Oh, boy. I wanted to change things, but not that relationship.
Then I realized she'd said "Kino-san", not "Sailor Jupiter". Oh, boy, again. I'd seen Umino-san run when we were at Dreamland; there's no way he could have seen what had actually happened. I sincerely hoped that nobody else within earshot had been at Dreamland last weekend.
"You can't mean that!" Oh, gods, he was whinging.
Ami-san looked crossly at Umino-san. "It appears that you are not wanted here." That was the rudest phrasing I'd ever heard Ami use; it certainly shocked him.
I handed my bento to Makoto before she could hand hers to me. In as emotionless a voice as I could manage, I said, "Umino-san. Please don't force me to stand up and make things worse than they already are."
He took the hint.
Makoto, Ami-san, Usagi-san, and I exhaled in unison as we watched him walk away.
Ichigo-san was looking at me in awe. "You jumped in front of an attack? You must really love Kino-san." Then she realized how Naru-san was taking the conversation. "Oh, I'm sorry, Osaka-san. Kino-san can tell you that I sometimes talk before I think."
"But don't yell at her for doing that, unless you want to end up in the vice-principal's office," Makoto added as she handed my bento back to me.
It was Ami-san of all people who came to the rescue. "Ichigo-san, are you still having trouble with mathematics?"
"Yes! Yes, I am. I'd appreciate some help with some of the problems we were given for homework today."
"We don't have math until this afternoon. Perhaps you could show me the homework in your classroom," Ami-san suggested.
"I'd be happy to." And the two of them headed back inside, leaving Naru-san alone with Usagi-san, Makoto, and me.
Nobody said anything for a moment. Naru-san finally remarked quietly, "If it was supposed to be a secret, you shouldn't have dropped so many hints."
"Hints?"
Naru-san turned to Usagi. "Yes, hints. Oni jumped in front of the only attack I launched so that it wouldn't hit Sailor Jupiter. Then Donarudoson-san didn't deny being Oni."
"Would you have believed me if I had?"
She shook her head slowly. "No. How many two-meter-tall white people are there in Minato?"
"Considering the number of ex-pats and embassy workers here, I'd expect more than one," I replied.
"And he's only 183 cee-em tall," Makoto said.
"And then you called him your boyfriend."
Nobody said anything for a moment. Then Naru-san turned to Usagi-san. "And you!" she hissed. "How many times did you call me 'Naru-chan' when you were Sailor Moon and I was a youma?"
I guess that I should have paid attention to that discussion. But I was busy staying alive.
"What makes you think I'm Sailor Moon?"
I sighed. "Don't insult your best friend's intelligence, Bunny-chan. She's figured it out."
"'Bunny-chan'?" everyone else asked in unison.
"Sorry, it just slipped out. But don't you know that much English, at least?"
Naru-san smiled. "I like it. You have a new nickname, 'Bunny-chan'."
"Will you keep our secrets, Osaka-san?"
"I'll keep Usagi's secret. You two... On one condition."
"What condition?" Makoto asked before I could.
"That you call me Naru instead of Osaka. If I'm going to be in on this, I want to actually be part of the group."
I could live with that. "If you're going to be part of the group, then please call me Rob, Naru-san."
"And 'Bunny-chan' says I'm 'Mako-chan', Naru-san."
"I'm stuck with that nickname, aren't I?"
"Serves you right for keeping secrets from me." After everybody but Usagi-san laughed, Naru-san asked, "Do the others know?"
I touched my eye with a finger pointing upward, as if I was wiping away some dust. « I don't want to lie to her, but telling the truth would break my promise. »
« Then I'll answer. » "Ichigo-san doesn't know. Ami-san does."
Naru thought for a moment. "Yes, she is smart enough to figure it out. How long did it take her?"
This one I could answer. "Ami-san knew before I met her."
She accepted that answer at face value. I think.
Monday was followed by Tuesday. Who would have guessed?
The last period before lunch was English. Sakurada-sensei asked me to stay behind at the bell.
"Donarudoson-san, are you still interested in joining a Conversational English club?" she asked in English.
If I hadn't become involved with Senshi business, I would have said yes immediately. I replied in the same language, "I understood that the school didn't have one, ma'am."
"We don't, yet. But if you can find somebody else who would be interested, I'd be willing to be the club advisor for you."
"That's quite kind of you, Ms. Sakurada. But don't the school rules say there is a minimum of three people in a club?"
"They do. We just had another student transfer in from England and she expressed an interest, so you and she would be two club members. Although she also asked whether she could join the volleyball club."
For a moment, I thought that it couldn't be her... but then I realized that she was about due to show up. "Assuming we can find a third person, I'm in. Perhaps Ms. Mizuno would be interested. Where would the club meet, ma'am?"
"You only need a room to talk in. You could meet in classroom 1, my homeroom."
"Thank you, Ms. Sakurada." I bowed as she left the classroom, presumably to get lunch.
Which I wanted to do as well, but Sato-san was at the door. "What did you say to Umino-san yesterday?"
Oh, great, Umino and Naru-san's breakup was on the grapevine. I hate gossip. Switching back to Japanese to match him, I said, "I asked him to not let things get worse than they already were."
"Ah. I guess he just misunderstood. So, what did Sakurada-sensei want?"
As if it was any of his business. "She told me about a new student that wanted to join a Conversational English club, and asked whether I wanted to start one with her."
"The new transfer student? That ice queen?"
Maybe she wasn't who I thought she was. "Ice queen?"
"Yeah," he said dismissively. "I asked her out this morning and she turned me down flat. She's not a wallflower like Mizuno-san used to be, so she must be an ice queen."
Or maybe she just doesn't like you, Sato-san. I'd ask him whether he was an incel, but that word won't be coined for another seven years.
"And you're going to be in a club with her? Good luck, Donarudoson-san, and don't let your girlfriend find out."
"Is the new girl that cute?"
"Aino-san is hot, not cute."
It was her! Good. "I'll keep that in mind. Now if you'll excuse me, lunch is waiting. And so is my girlfriend."
"And you don't want to keep her waiting. I heard what she said to Aoyama-san."
"You did?"
"Everybody in the classroom heard. She's got a good set of lungs." He grinned. "Considering..."
"Maybe you'd better stop there, before she yells at you."
"Yeah, sure." And he finally let me go.
When I made it outside, I discovered that everybody had waited for me. "You didn't have to do that."
"Bunny-chan insisted that it wouldn't be the same without the Revealing Of The Lunches, Robu-san," Naru-san pointed out.
Of course I ignored Sato-san's advice and told everybody about the Conversational English club and the apparently-attractive-female new student who wanted to join it, before asking Ami-san whether she would join as well. She mentioned juku, and I promised to make sure we'd work the schedule around her extra classes... as I quietly made a "V" shape with my chopsticks while shielding the sight of them from Naru-san and Ichigo-san. As soon as she noticed that, she agreed immediately.
Ami-san's the smartest girl I've ever met. I wondered for a moment what it would have been like if she was my next-door neighbour, instead of Makoto. Maybe there was a different reality somewhere where I shared an apartment building with her... but I wasn't in that reality, I was here. And then I thought that maybe I could do something to get Urawa-san to stick around the next time he showed up. Usagi-san was going to get Mamoru-san eventually unless I changed something there, and Makoto already had me; Ami-san deserved some happiness, too.
It took a few days for the Conversational English club to have its first meeting, what with the paperwork needing to be approved, Ami-san's juku, and the weekly volleyball team practice. We didn't get together until Friday, and that was just a "getting to know you" meeting. In which nobody actually mentioned the truly important things about ourselves, because Minako-san didn't know us yet and Sakurada-sensei sat in for the first few minutes of the first meeting.
Of course we spoke English. Sakurada-sensei insisted.
"I'm Mizuno Ami, and I'm happy to meet you."
After a moment, I sighed. "Ami-san, it's okay to boast a little bit."
"Do I have to?"
"Yes. You can't possibly carry out a conversation if you aren't willing to talk."
She sighed quietly. "Oh, alright. I placed at the top of the entire school during the last exams, and I'm taking high-school level courses at cram school."
"Ooh..." Minako-san said in appreciation.
I waited for another moment, then decided to give her a break. "I'm Rob Donaldson, and I'm pleased to meet you. I grew up in Canada, I just came to Japan in September, and Ami-san and I are in the same class. And I've just started a new hobby: taking walks with my girlfriend."
"That's so romantic," Minako-san replied. "Does your girlfriend speak English?"
"Not well enough to take part in a casual conversation, no. But I'm sure you'll meet Makoto some time soon."
Minako-san smiled as if she was keeping a secret. Of course, so were we. "I'm sure that I will. I'm Minako Aino... Aino Minako," she corrected herself, "and I'm happy to make your acquaintance. I've spent the last few years in London, but circumstances have brought me back to Japan. I like singing and playing volleyball."
"At the same time?" I asked with a grin.
"Don't be daft," she replied with a smile of her own.
"'Daft'?" Ami-san asked.
Seeing that Sakurada-sensei was as confused as Ami was, I replied, "That's British for 'silly' or 'stupid', depending on the context."
We continued chatting about where we each grew up for a quarter-hour or so, although Sakurada-sensei left five minutes in. Then we decided to wind up the meeting and have a longer one next week.
"What are we going to talk about next Friday?" Minako-san asked.
I smiled. "I'm sure we'll have something to talk about, the next time we meet."
Makoto and I got together to do our homework that evening, so that we wouldn't need to do it over the weekend. Well, except for whatever homework we were assigned Saturday morning.
Partway through, she put her pencil down and stretched. I watched. Judging from her smile, she didn't appear to mind.
Not for the first time, I wondered how lucky I was to have caught her eye... and then I remembered that whichever anonymous being it was who had dropped me into this reality had obviously intended us to meet. Stupid... no, this particular genre convention wasn't stupid at all, because it let me meet my dearest.
"Darling, how closely does the anime about us match our reality?"
"Where did that come from?"
"Just idle curiousity."
I thought for a moment. "Well, the events so far have been pretty close."
"Oh."
"Yeah, I don't like that idea either." We both knew why. "The timing, though... The only point that matched the timing of the anime was the day we met. Everything else has been moving faster than the schedule in the show."
"I'm almost afraid to ask, but how much faster?"
I thought for a moment, then the implications hit me. "I'll put it this way: If we were on the anime's schedule, I'd be giving you a birthday present the day after tomorrow."
"But it's only October..." Then she frowned. "You're telling me that things are happening on a three-to-one ratio between the anime and real life?"
"And speeding up."
"How many more episodes before... D-day?"
I sighed deeply. My policy of not lying to my girlfriend was starting to hurt. "Three months worth, as broadcast."
"Which means that if we don't change things, I'm not going to make it to Labor Thanksgiving Day, let alone my next birthday. I might not even make it to 7-5-3 Day."
Neither of us said anything for a moment.
"I'm still going to buy you a birthday present. No matter what. And I will do my very best to be able to hand it to you, my dearest Makoto."
We went shopping after school the next day.
No, not for a birthday present. I needed a warmer jacket, and Makoto decided we needed to match.
Which meant we were in the shopping district when the window-washers' platform's support wire broke. "Oh, no!"
« Doubly, » I thought. « Zoicite dressed as Sailor Moon will be along to rescue them shortly. And I thought telling him he'd look like a girl if he wore a wig would prevent this! »
« Awfully convenient that Zoicite has somebody to rescue... Oh. He put their lives at risk, didn't he? »
As I nodded, we heard somebody in the crowd say, "Look! It's Sailor Moon!"
Damn it, I was going to change something! "Hold my bag," I said as I passed it to Makoto and looked up. I hadn't tried using any of my powers at that range yet, so I needed to concentrate. "That's it... swing over... closer... just like that... There!"
My forcefield reached the impostor, and knocked the wig off his head.
"That's not Sailor Moon! She's a fake!"
So Zoicite decided to drop the people he'd rescued from the peril he'd put them in.
I'd never created a soft forcefield before. But I managed it, and they sank into it the way a pair of stuntmen sink into an air-and-foam pad the height of a person. And, as I dissolved the forcefield, they got up and walked away, while everybody around us cheered.
Makoto gave me a big hug. "You saved them!"
"After putting them in danger." « Zoicite's getting more ruthless than I remember. »
« But you changed things. »
« For the worse, not for the better. »
« But you changed things. Give me a straw to grasp at, darling. »
Then we saw Usagi-san and Naru-san heading toward us. « Time to go. »
A few minutes later, the four of us were in a quiet corner of a fast-food place, enjoying the best that The Colonel could offer in Japan. Which was pretty good, actually.
"Was that Zoicite?" Usagi-san asked.
"Oh, that was definitely Zoicite," Naru-san looked angry. "I'll never forget the man who killed Nephrite."
I'd forgotten that he'd already displayed a ruthless streak. Mind you, that happened before I arrived.
"Why would Zoicite impersonate you, though?" Makoto asked.
"Dunno," Usagi-san replied with a shrug of her shoulders.
"I could understand if he was trying to lure Tuxedo Kamen out and attack him, but Zoicite got his Rainbow Crystals at Dreamland," I mentioned.
"Maybe they were trying to lure you out," Makoto suggested. "They don't know that you gave your Rainbow Crystal to Sailor Mercury."
"But they should also not know that I had one."
"Can't they track the crystals, though? Maybe they know you used to have one. They definitely know you work with Sailor Moon."
"There is that, Naru-san," I agreed.
"They're going to try again, you know."
We all nodded in agreement with Usagi-san.
Makoto and I continued our shopping trip after lunch, but with a side of uneasiness. In canon, Zoicite and Kunzite lured Tuxedo Kamen out by pretending to capture Sailor Moon. We'd already derailed that, so how were they going to lure Sailor Moon out? And when?
Ask a stupid question, get a stupid genre convention.
"Sailor Moon!" Zoicite's voice boomed from above, like a wrathful ... No, Zoicite's never been a god, or even a demigod. "You and your followers must bring your Rainbow Crystals to the 300-year-old pine at Hamarikyu Gardens at once, or we will destroy this city! You have one hour!"
"Do they really expect that to work?" Makoto asked while the visage of the Dark General faded from the sky like an afterimage on a TV screen.
The shoppers around us started to panic. "It's just like a few months ago!"
I nodded. "It worked when Jadeite tried it."
"That was before my time."
"Mine, too. Let's go."
We were halfway to the subway station when Makoto's pager went off. "Mako-chan! Did you see that?"
"We saw it! We're on our way!"
But when we got to the subway station, there were people walking away from the platform for the Oedo line, enough that the crowd slowed us down and made us miss the first train. Although the four-minute delay did let Usagi-san catch up with us. Once we finally reached the platform, we learned why there was a crowd; there were subway staff being all apologetic while announcing, "Due to circumstances beyond our control, the Metropolitan Police have asked us that we not allow anyone to ride past Daimon Station for the next two hours. We apologize for the inconvenience." One of the staffers was even hand-writing apology letters for anyone who wanted one.
Makoto, Usagi-san, and I exchanged glances, smiled, nodded, and got on the train anyway. The car only had one other passenger: Hino-san. "Fancy meeting you here," I said.
"This is hardly a time to make jokes," she snapped at me.
"I'm completely serious, Hino-san. I didn't expect to see you until we reached Hamarikyu Gardens."
"Do you have the crystals?"
I shook my head. "Mercury has them."
Guess who boarded the train at Akabanebashi Station. If you guessed "Ami-san", then you know the stupid genre conventions, too.
We double-checked that we were the only people in the car. Then I raised a nice, sparkly, nearly-opaque forcefield around the ladies and looked out the window anyway.
"Mercury Power, Make-Up!"
"Mars Power, Make-Up!"
"Jupiter Power, Make-Up!"
"Moon Prism Power, Make-Up!"
I went invisible. Saying anything would have been counterproductive.
By the time we reached Daimon Station, the forcefield was gone and everyone was ready for action. A subway staffer looked into the car while saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience... Oh! Yes, of course the four of you may continue to Tsukijishijo Station. Good luck, ladies."
Two stops later and we were there. It's normally an eleven-minute walk from Tsukijishijo Station to the 300-year-old pine; the Senshi covered the distance in five, and it only took them that long because they were avoiding detection.
Now that I knew I had sufficient range to pull off the stunt, I made an invisible forcefield bridge across the Sumida River and got there in four... and was immediately dogpiled by youma, including one wearing very thick and large glasses who was directing the others. So much for invisibility being useful.
I really needed to learn some actual hand-to-hand combat skills, and stop relying on my powers during combat. By the time I realized I already knew all the martial arts that Makoto knew, it was too late. Once they had me pinned, a tall, white-haired man levitated over to me.
"Dark General Kunzite, I presume."
"And you would be Oni. Be a good boy and stay still, or my youma will rip your throat open. I don't suppose you'd like to drop your vision cloak and let me see your face, would you?"
In reply, and because I spotted a white cat with a crescent mark on his forehead in the branches of the 300-year-old pine, I misquoted the Dread Pirate Roberts. "No. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future. They're terribly comfortable."
"And you're a fool if you seriously believe that. Now, where are the Sailor Senshi?"
"Right behind you!" shouted Sailor Moon. "The heavens may forgive you for terrorizing the city, but I will not! In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!"
With that, I used a forcefield to grab those big thick glasses and throw them into the river. "Now, Sailor Jupiter!" I shouted.
"Sailor Kick!" She'd never done it in canon as far as I remembered, but she was a martial artist, so she pulled it off anyway. That left only one youma holding me down, and Makoto standing by my side. A forcefield battering ram took care of said youma.
The other Senshi rushed to Jupiter's side as she helped me up. "Are you okay, Oni?" Moon asked.
Still invisible, I answered, "I think so. Now, somebody tell me why Kunzite's smiling."
The man himself answered, "Because you've fallen into my trap!" And a dark forcefield surrounded the five of us and started to constrict. "That forcefield is invulnerable to all of the powers you've shown so far. I'll simply return later and take the Rainbow Crystals from your dead bodies. Good-bye, Sailor Senshi."
I sighed deeply. "I should have seen that coming."
"Let me guess," Jupiter replied. "Straight out of the anime."
"Except that we're in a park instead of a freight yard." I saw Mars stand and pose, and yelled, "Duck!"
"Fire Soul!" The flames bounced off Kunzite's forcefield and nearly fried us all, before I caught them in a forcefield of my own.
"Don't do that!"
"Are you saying we have to wait around for Tuxedo Kamen to come rescue us?" The thought obviously annoyed Sailor Mars.
Before I could answer her, an orange beam punctured Kunzite's forcefield from outside, kept on going over our heads, and punctured the forcefield again on its way out.
As the field collapsed, I replied, "No, we had to wait around for Sailor V to come rescue us."
And said defender of love and justice made her grand entrance, removing her mask as she did. As she walked over to us, her costume changed from a mirror of Sailor Moon's to a white-and-orange number, with a dark-blue bow that looked like the ones on Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars's outfits.
"I'm not using that name any more, whoever you are. Sailor Venus has arrived!"
"Sailor V! Venus!" Moon was going ga-ga as if she was meeting a celebrity. "Are you the Moon Princess that we're looking for?"
She smiled. But before she could say anything, I said, "Kunzite or Zoicite might be listening in."
The white cat that had been perched in the 300-year-old pine jumped onto her shoulder and whispered in her ear. She nodded and replied, "I'll see you tomorrow, where you usually meet."
"At tea time?" I suggested.
She nodded, and was off.
"Where we usually meet?" Moon asked with a puzzled look on her face. "How would she know that? And how would she know when we have tea?"
"All will be explained tomorrow," I replied.
Just to be sure, Makoto, Ami-san, Luna, and I were at the Hikawa Shrine at 2:50 the next afternoon.
Rei had a pot of tea waiting for us. "Where's Usagi?"
"I don't know," Luna answered. "And I'm worried."
I accepted a cup of green tea from Hino-san. "Ladies, will you allow me to make the introductions?"
"Why would you need permission to make introductions?" Minako asked.
"Because I made a promise to each of you."
"Ah. Those introductions." Hino-san thought for a moment, then continued, "if you're introducing us to Sailor Venus, then yes."
"You have my permission on the same terms," added Ami-san. Luna nodded in agreement.
Makoto smiled. "And I trust you to know what's best. Go ahead and introduce us."
"Thank you, ladies," I replied just as a blonde girl approached us... a girl that Ami-san and I had already met, who was carrying a white cat.
"Donaldson-san? I didn't expect to see you here," she commented.
I sipped my tea, then gave the cup back to our host. "Thank you, Hino-san." I turned to the newcomer. "Aino-san, I believe I said we'd have something to talk about the next time we met. Please allow me to make the introductions."
"Shouldn't we wait for Usagi-san?" Ami-san asked.
I shook my head. "We can't." I turned back to Minako-san. "You've already met Mizuno Ami-san, who is also known as Sailor Mercury. The cat she's carrying is named Luna, and she's actually a Mau. This is our host, Hino Rei-san, also known as Sailor Mars. This lovely young woman is my girlfriend, Kino Makoto, also called Sailor Jupiter. Everyone, this is Aino Minako-san, also known as Sailor V, now calling herself Sailor Venus. And her cat, or rather her Mau companion, is named Artemis. I'm Rob Donaldson; Usagi-san calls me Oni when she's Sailor Moon."
The white cat looked at me and asked, "How do you know all that?"
"No time to explain. We only have a few minutes and we need to go over some things that there's no point in keeping secret now. Tsukino Usagi-san is the reincarnation of Princess Serenity; there never was a Sailor Moon in the Silver Millennium." Luna's eyes went wide at that revelation. "Chiba Mamoru-san is Tuxedo Kamen and the reincarnation of Prince Endymion." It was Hino-san's turn to look surprised. "And since Aino-san just showed up right here right now, Usagi-san and Mamoru-san are both trapped by Zoicite and Kunzite, most likely in the Star Light Tower."
"That's where they are, yes," Artemis said.
Hino-san put the teapot down and said, "What are we waiting for? Let's go rescue Usagi and Mamoru before the Dark Generals call us out and demand the Rainbow Crystals again!"
"Who are you, Donaldson-san?"
As Makoto took Minako-san's arm and half-guided, half-dragged her along with the rest of us, she said, "We'll fill you in on the way."
We didn't have a subway car to ourselves this trip, so we had to have our discussions in whispers. As Luna explained the Silver Millennium to the Senshi and Makoto explained me to Minako-san, I had a quick talk with Artemis about how I knew what I knew. Our conversation was in English.
"So, you aren't from this time or this world at all. I can sympathize with you there, Donaldson-san."
"I thought you would, which is why I'm telling you so much, Artemis-san. And please, feel free to use British rules of politeness when we're speaking English."
"That might be harder than you think, Rob. I never did convince Minako to drop the honorifics or call me 'Artie', so I never got into the habit of using English rules of polite procedure."
"Well, you're her co-worker and in many ways her supervisor. There's a certain level of professionalism required there. I'm just an ally who doesn't need to be treated with the same level of politeness that your staff does... Artie." I said the last with a grin.
"Does that mean we can go drinking some time?"
"I'm too young for alcohol here. And I don't know what the local spirits would do to a cat."
He raised an eyebrow, or rather he would have raised an eyebrow if he had one. "You said that you know Luna and I are Mau."
"Luna has forgotten what that means."
"Ah. I'd better not transform to human where she can see me, then."
"And we'd better finish this conversation. We're almost there."
Artemis meowed and I bowed to the people who were watching us. Switching to Japanese, I said, "Thank you for being interested in my ventriloquism act. Look for me again on another train!"
I passed Artie to Minako-san, to carry out when we left the station. Finding a quiet corner nearby, we copied the drill we'd done last time; I put up a privacy screen, the girls transformed to their Senshi forms, and I went invisible. It was faster for the Senshi to roof-hop and me to run to our destination than it would have been to take a bus or a taxi.
The Star Light Tower was what I'd call an early version of Crystal Tokyo architecture, all crystal-like glass with no apparent metal skeleton. It looked a bit out of place among the steel and concrete towers of 1990s Tokyo.
And, when we approached it, it suddenly looked even more out of place when its entryway's appearance shifted to Early Modern Demon Lair. I didn't know whether that was Zoicite or Kunzite's doing, but whoever it was, he had no sense of style.
"Why'd they bother doing that?"
I turned to Artemis. "Beats me. It's bad tactics; they've just told us that they know we're here. And it isn't frightening any of us. Sailor Moon might have been unnerved by it, but she's already their prisoner."
"Are they boasting? 'Look at how much energy we can afford to throw away', and all that?"
"If they are, then they're going against their queen's direct orders. The Dark Kingdom has been operating in Japan specifically to gather the energy they need to resurrect their dark god."
"I wasn't aware of that."
"We can talk more after we rescue the hostages." I turned to Ami-san. "Mercury, can you map that tower?"
She already had the Mercury Computer out. "Whatever that effect is that changed the building's appearance is making scanning the building impossible, Oni."
"That explains why they're doing it," Artemis said.
"Yeah. Please do your best, Mercury. At least keep an eye on a path out."
Mars looked cross at that comment. "We're not going to retreat."
"But we do need to know how to get Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen out of the building," Jupiter pointed out.
"Okay, that's different."
Minako-san lowered Artemis to the ground, to join Luna (who'd already freed up Ami-san's hands). "You two are staying out here, where it's safe."
"Or at least safer," Jupiter added.
"Right. Have fun storming the castle!"
I stayed invisible when we raced inside, so Artie didn't see me roll my eyes. May as well force the bad guys to spend some energy tracking me so they couldn't use it against us.
Once we were five meters past the doors, the entryway collapsed. "So much for keeping track of our way out," Mars grumbled.
"Which way?"
« I'm staying silent for as long as I can. Tell Mars "up". I don't know how far up, but it might be all the way. »
« Good idea. » "We go up. As far as we have to. Maybe to the top."
And we headed for the stairs. But before we got there, the Rainbow Crystals that Mercury was carrying floated out of her pocket or wherever, and shot almost straight upward.
I dropped my invisibility and formed a forcefield platform under everyone's feet. "Track them!"
"Already tracking!"
Before Makoto could say anything, I said, "The time for stealth is past. Sailor Moon just created the Ginzuishou, which means Tuxedo Kamen is seriously hurt. Start blasting holes in the ceilings, ladies, we're going up!" And I raised the forcefield on a forcefield pillar as fast as my companions could clear the way, following the trajectory of the Rainbow Crystals.
On the way up, I mentioned, "You know, a coherent light beam could blind somebody if it hits them in the face."
"I already know that trick," Minako commented with steel in her voice.
I had to change anchor points a few times because my forcefields reached maximum extension, but we got there faster than we would have by taking the stairs. Assuming we could take the stairs.
We came up through the floor between Sailor Moon and the Dark Generals. I had to duck to avoid being hit by the Moon Tiara.
Turning around, I saw that Kunzite already had Mamoru-san and was teleporting away. We weren't fast enough.
Zoicite and I played tag for a few minutes; I grabbed him in forcefields and he teleported out of them. "Stop wasting my time, Oni!"
"I'll keep wasting your time for as long as it takes my friends to get in position, Zoicite!"
"Crescent Beam!"
Sure enough, Venus's attack hit him in the face. I couldn't imagine a better sight than a blinded Dark General.
"Fire Soul!"
Mars pointed out my lack of imagination. A blinded and on fire Dark General looked even better.
Zoicite got off an unaimed attack, which I blocked easily. Mamoru-san wasn't here to say it, so I shouted, "Now, Sailor Moon!"
She didn't do anything.
Damn. She's in shock. "Now, Sailor Jupiter!"
"Supreme Thunder!"
Dazed and staggered, and still on fire for whatever reason, Zoicite nonetheless rushed us... and fell through the hole in the floor that we'd arrived through.
He didn't teleport away. After a moment, we heard the thud.
Sailor Mars threw up.
"Is this the first time you've seen death, Mars?" Venus asked. She got a nod in reply, then Mars threw up again.
I wasn't doing too well, either. "It's the first time I've seen a violent death. Let's get out of here."
Ami-san guided Usagi-san out of the room and into what could pass for a corridor in an H. R. Giger nightmare. Minako-san helped Hino-san, and Makoto and I covered our retreat. Not that there was anybody left attacking us.
"He must have been out of energy."
"Not a pleasant way to go," I replied.
"I've seen worse."
Yes. Makoto, you have. I'll shut up now.
« Thank you, darling. »
We just missed witnessing The Slap Heard 'Round The World, Except In The North American Broadcast Dub. I put my arm out to keep Makoto from walking in on the drama. « Neither of them want to see a happy couple right now, my dearest. »
We waited for a few minutes, until Minako-san walked back to find us. "It's over. Mercury is just finishing calming them down."
"Thanks, Venus."
We joined the others. "Is everybody okay now?" asked Makoto.
"I'm not okay, but moping won't solve anything," Usagi-san replied. Her cheek was already turning red.
"Then let's get out of here," Minako-san suggested. We headed off, with Mercury and Venus supporting Moon.
"Didn't I just say we needed to do that?" Hino-san grumbled.
"Was that before or after you slapped your princess?"
"You can keep your mouth shut, Oni."
By the time we'd reached ground level, the Dark Kingdom's spells had ended and the Star Light Tower was back to normal. Including not having holes in all of the floors where we'd punched through them. That was convenient.
We didn't have an after-action debrief that afternoon.
We did have a study session, but not at the Hikawa Shrine.
The study session was at Ami-san's apartment, for a change. And I was very impressed by the building. "How can you afford to live in a place like this?"
"Oh, the hospital owns it. They bought it at a bargain price last year, and mother and I moved in not too long afterward. It's a much better building than the one the hospital was using for staff housing before the asset bubble burst, and it's closer to the hospital, too."
"Are you talking about the apartment again, Ami?" I heard somebody with a voice very much like hers ask. Then I saw the speaker. She looked like Ami's older sister, and she was wearing a blouse and slacks ensemble with an ID card on a lanyard around her neck.
"Only because my classmate asked, mother."
I bowed to who I now knew was Dr. Mizuno. "I'm Ami-san's classmate, Rob Donaldson. I'm honoured to finally meet you, Mizuno-sensei."
She returned my bow quickly, then talked to me while putting her shoes and coat on. "I'm happy to meet you, Donarudoson-san. Ami's told me that you're helping her with English. Thank you for looking after my daughter. And I hope we can talk properly some time, but I have to be going now. Don't forget to eat, and not just sandwiches, Ami!"
And she was out the door.
"But sandwiches are so convenient..." She was interrupted by a knock at the door. "Come in!"
It was Usagi-san, with Luna in her arms. "Hi! Pardon the intrusion! Ami-chan, I held the elevator for your mother just now. Another emergency at the hospital?"
"'Another'?" I asked.
"Mother and I don't see each other very often. She's been on call for months. The extra money pays for my juku."
"I see." Then I felt a tickle at my mindreading sense. "Hang on a minute." « Can you sense me? »
« Barely. What's up? »
I had to concentrate to sense Makoto. « Ami-san's mother just told her to have something other than sandwiches for dinner, then took off for the hospital. »
« Not a problem, darling. » And I saw through her eyes what she was carrying.
« I love you, my dearest. Shutting off the mindreading now. » "Ami-san, you don't need to worry about dinner. Mako-chan's almost here, and she's loaded down with grocery bags. Tonight, we feast!"
By the time Minako-san and Artemis arrived, we were just about to start the sukiyaki party. But they insisted we wait until they gave us some gifts, the way somebody who just moved into an apartment building would give gifts to their neighbours.
They'd put some thought into the gifts, too; each suited the recipient instead of being something useful but generic. Ami-san got a leather-bound book that I didn't see the title of, Makoto got a collection of Twinings teas, and Usagi-san got a promise that Minako would take her for an afternoon at a beauty salon next weekend.
Then I discovered that a particular revelation took place earlier than in canon. "I cannot believe you were 0091 all along," Luna complained as she opened the envelope that Artemis gave her... to see a simple card with one thing written on it with a brush: I'm sorry. "Oh, how can I stay mad at you now...?"
Then it was my turn. "Artemis-san said that Luna-san told him that Usagi-san said you have a collection of Sailor Senshi crane game dolls."
"I have the complete set," I replied.
"No, you didn't, but you do now, Rob-san," Minako-san said as she handed me a small package.
I opened it to discover a Sailor Jupiter plushie, and a maker's card authenticating that it was the first one off the production line. "It's... the perfect gift. Thank you so much. I trust you'll excuse me for leaving the table for a moment just before we begin dinner; I don't want her getting stained."
Unfortunately, they went home with one gift ungiven. Hino-san never did join us.
I hoped we hadn't finally come together just to fall apart.
Ami-san told me in class the next morning why Hino-san didn't join us. It turned out that Yuuichirou-san had been burned while tending to the sacred fire, and she had to take him to the hospital. Which, by the way, was why Mizuno-sensei was called in.
We let the others know at lunchtime. Including Minako-san, who we pretty much drafted into our unofficial lunch club.
It was amazing how well Ichigo-san and Mina-chan got along. Naru-san and Mina-chan didn't get along quite as well, though; I heard Naru-san mutter something about another person taking Usagi-san away.
We... no, I had to do something about that. My meddling had already cost Naru-san her boyfriend; I didn't want her to lose her best friend as well.
So I asked Ami-san whether she was busy after school.
Then I asked Ami-san whether she was busy after juku.
She got the hint, and agreed to come over after dinner.
"What's on the agenda tonight, Rob-san?" Ami-san asked once she had joined Makoto and me in my apartment.
"A little homework, one episode of an anime, and some brainstorming," I replied. "In that order, and our homework is almost finished."
Ami-san looked over Makoto's shoulder. "You're doing a lot better now than you were when we met, Mako-chan," Ami commented.
"I'm finally used to the textbooks you use here," she replied.
Ami walked over to me. "Should I bother checking your homework?"
"You already are. Or, rather, your brainprint is." That comment soured the mood a bit. Not because I'd made the comment, but because of why we'd made the brainprint in the first place. I closed my textbook. "Speaking of, I think it's anime time."
Once Makoto had her homework put away, I started episode 36.
An hour later, the ladies had come to terms with the idea of a brainwashed Endymion, and we had a plan to protect Usagi-san from discovery when Minako-san took her to the beauty salon this weekend. Teal Deer, since the hair dryers/scryers were networked together, spoof the network so that everybody would be identified as Sailor Moon. We considered having nobody be identified, but then we'd be condemning a half-dozen women to remain youma, and nobody wanted that.
"Can I impose on you to deliver the virus to their network, Ami-san?"
"Virus?"
I smiled as I explained to Makoto, "It's designed to make the system sick, and cough up something wrong. Thus, it's a virus."
"Ah."
Ami-san nodded. "I can do that as soon as I write it," she said.
I smiled. "We're lucky to have you as a friend, Ami-san. Thank you,"
"Are we going to warn Usagi-chan?"
"She and Minako-san did a pretty good job on their own in the anime. And do you really think she'll believe us about Tuxedo Kamen?"
Makoto thought for a moment. "No, that's something she needs to see for herself. What are we going to be doing while Ami does her part of the plan?"
I sighed. "We are going to be doing something else altogether: Salvaging Usagi-san and Naru-san's friendship."
"Their friendship is in trouble?"
"Naru-san is feeling crowded out. Before Bunny-chan became Sailor Moon, Naru-san was her best friend. Now, who looks like she's Bunny-chan's best friend? Hino-san? Ami-san? You? Me? Ichigo-san? And Minako-san was just added to that list."
"I never thought of it that way."
Ami-san thought for a moment. "Perhaps if we let Osaka-san in on one of our secrets, that might make her feel like she's still valued."
"She's already figured out who Sailor Moon, Oni, and I are," Makoto said. "And if she's still feeling left out even after that..."
"Then that might not work," I finished. "Mind you, she had to figure it out for herself; we never told her. What if we brought her all the way in, and asked her to help us?"
"We'd need to tell her that I'm Sailor Mercury."
"Yeah. Are you okay with that, Ami-chan?"
"Let me think about it, Mako-chan, I'll tell you tomorrow."
"Sure. And if you say yes, we need everybody else to agree to let Naru-san know who they are, too."
We ended up warning Usagi-san and Minako-san anyway, the one day that Naru-san and Ichigo-san got drinks for everybody at lunch.
Needless to say, Minako-san had something to talk about during the Conversational English club meeting that week. In English, of course; not only was that the whole point of the club, but we could mention some things that we couldn't talk about in Japanese without spreading our secrets around to all and sundry.
"How do you know all these things about us, Donaldson-san?"
"Aino-san, I hoped we could be friends. Please call me Rob. As for how I know about you, didn't Artemis tell you anything about me?"
"Call me Minako, then. Artemis said something I couldn't believe. You're supposedly from another universe altogether, where all of this," she waved a hand around, "and all of us are in a work of fiction."
"I've seen episodes of the anime we're in," Ami-san said quietly. "Which reminds me that our countermeasure for this weekend is ready."
"Thanks, Ami-san. Minako-san, I'm not going to make any copies of that anime, so if you want to watch it, you'll have to come over to my place."
"Is this some ploy to get me alone with you?"
"Rob-san isn't like that!"
"Thank you, Ami-san. Minako-san, I would expect Makoto, Ami-san, or both to be with us to act as chaperones."
"I might come visit some time, then. And no honorific for Mako-chan?"
I just smiled in response.
"Oh, ho! When's the big day?"
"You're a nosy one, Minako-san. We haven't set a date, but we've agreed that we aren't going to get any closer that we already are while we're fighting the Dark Kingdom."
"How close have you gotten?"
"Minako-san!"
I was happy that Ami was willing to come to my defence. "It's alright, Ami-san. We have hugged. And I've seen her transform."
"Woah!" Minako blushed at that last statement. Interestingly, Ami-san didn't; maybe she's become used to the idea. Minako-san kept following this chain of thought (and, yes, I was tempted to call it a love-me chain) despite the blush. "Aren't you tempted to go any farther than that?"
"I'm curious about that, as well."
"Alright. Yes, we're both tempted. But we know we mustn't, at least not now."
"Why not?"
Ami-san answered before I could. "We're not even fifteen yet. Our bodies are still developing."
"That alone is good and sufficient reason to wait. I don't want to hurt Makoto."
Ami-san continued, "Also, imagine what would happen if a pretty warrior was taken out of action by something like morning sickness."
"Birth control is a thing," Minako-san pointed out.
"No birth control is 100% effective," Ami-san countered.
"Ladies! Can we talk about something else, please?"
"Oh, is the big bad ogre getting embarrassed?"
"Yes," I lied. Hey, I never promised not to lie to Hino-san or Mina-chan, just Usagi-san, Ami-san and Makoto. And it wasn't a complete lie, but if we explained the other reason why Makoto and I had yet to kiss, let alone go any farther than that, Minako-san would wonder why Makoto needed a reason to survive the fight. And then I'd have to tell Minako-san that she was third in line to fall in battle.
And she didn't need the burden of knowing that she was fated to die if I didn't change the timeline. It was bad enough that Makoto and Ami-san knew.
"Fine, fine. we'll talk about Usagi-san instead. After we get our hair done, I was thinking of taking her somewhere for tea. Do you think she'd like that?"
"Usagi-san loves cakes," Ami-san answered.
"I'll take that as a yes."
"It sounds like you're planning on pampering our princess," I commented.
Minako-san nodded. "I know what it's like to lose a boyfriend," she said wistfully. "She needs this."
"You're a good friend to our Bunny-chan." Ami-san smiled.
"Speaking of Bunny's friends... She's close to losing one. Naru-san is feeling crowded out, and while she has an idea why, she doesn't exactly know."
Minako-san grimaced, then asked, "How can I help?"
"Rob-san and Mako-chan have an idea, but it involves telling Naru-san who we are."
"And it has to be unanimous. Would you talk with Artie about bringing Naru-san into our confidence, please? Both of you have to agree. And so do Bunny-chan, and Luna, and Ms. Hino."
Minako nodded. "I'll ask him. Why is Rei-san the only one of us you don't call by her given name, Rob-san?"
Ami-san looked surprised. "I hadn't noticed that."
"She's never told me that I'm allowed to. And from her attitude toward guys who aren't Chiba-san or Yuuichirou-san, I don't want to assume that I have that right unless she says I do."
"Oh, okay." Minako-san turned to Ami-san. "So, cake shops. Where are the good ones?"
I let them talk, but took notes on a sheet titled "Where to take Makoto on a date"... which caused both of them to smile.
While Usagi-san and Minako-san were battling at the salon and Ami-san was making sure nobody had proof of who they were, I was talking with Luna at my place.
"Most people arrange these so that Sailor Moon is in the center," she complained about how I had my crane-game dolls displayed.
"Most people aren't dating Sailor Jupiter," I replied.
"There is that." After a moment, she continued, "Usagi says we can tell Naru-san about me and the others. I've been watching Naru-san for a while and I think I know what I'm going to say, but I have some questions first. What do you want to have her do? She isn't a Senshi."
"Neither are you and Artemis, but you help the team simply by giving us advice. I'm hoping that Naru-san could cover for Usagi-san at school, make excuses and take notes for her when Sailor Moon needs to be elsewhere, and simply remind everybody exactly why we're fighting the Dark Kingdom. And now that I'm saying that, maybe we should bring Aoyama Ichigo-san into the inner circle so she can do the same for Makoto."
"I have no idea who Aoyama Ichigo is."
I waved one hand dismissively. "She's Makoto's classmate. Bringing her in isn't important right now. Naru-san is the one we need to worry about today."
"Do we really need to worry about Naru-san?" The way she asked, I could tell she already knew her answer to the question; she wanted to know mine.
"For love and justice, I think we do."
"You're right, of course. We can't just say we support an ideal and then not live by it."
"Then we're agreed there. But we can care about Naru-san without bringing her all the way in to the inner circle."
"Are you arguing against your own idea, Robu-san?"
"No. If I can't see the flaws in an idea, then I haven't thought it through."
"I can understand that. What did Rei-san, Minako-san, and Artemis say?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. Makoto is talking with Hino-san this afternoon. And it was only yesterday that we asked Mina-chan to ask Artie."
"'Artie'?" Luna's eyes went wide in surprise.
"He complained that Mina-chan never called him that, so I decided to make him happy that way."
"I couldn't possibly call Artemis 'Artie'."
I smiled. "Not now, but who knows what the future holds?"
"Apparently you do."
"Only in broad strokes at this point. And I don't know what you're going to say about Naru-san."
She thought for a moment. "I'll let you bring Naru-san all the way into our group."
Much to my complete lack of surprise, Makoto convinced Minako-san, Artemis, and Hino-san to go along with our plan. "Love and Justice" covers a multitude of virtues.
But then Usagi-san couldn't join us after school at all that week. She had plans. And considering what she'd learned at the salon about what had happened to Tuxedo Kamen, I wasn't about to pressure her.
In retrospect, I should have realized what those plans were, but I was still hoping that my actions were changing the timeline away from canon events. I had my nose rubbed in that mistake when I wanted to discuss our plan to bring Naru-san into the inner circle and discovered Makoto wasn't home, and I tried calling Ami-san on the off chance that she was there.
Ami-san's mother picked up. "I'm sorry, Donarudoson-san, but Ami is out this afternoon. She's attending a special dance session."
"That doesn't sound like her usual behaviour, Mizuno-sensei."
"Oh, I insisted. She needs to learn how to interact with people if she's going to become a doctor, and the Princess Seminar is willing to teach her at least this much."
The Princess Seminar. Oh, crap.
"Did she leave the address of this seminar, by any chance?" I asked while securing my laptop.
Mizuno-sensei told me, and I thanked her and wished her a pleasant day.
Then I was out the door, invisible, and running for the estate where my girlfriend and our best friend were about to walk into a trap.
Not at full speed - I couldn't maintain my top speed without tiring myself out - but fast enough that I made it there before public transportation could have.
It wasn't until I was at the wall surrounding the estate that I was able to hear Makoto's thoughts. « Robu's going to be so proud of me that I passed! »
« No! Makoto, get out of there and take everybody else with you! It's a trap! Damn it, why aren't you reading my mind right now? Makoto! NOOOOO!!! » I was too late.
Damn it. I like it when my girlfriend wears green, not when she is green and covered in wax.
There was one small comfort that applied to all of their previous victims: I couldn't hear her thoughts. Which means the victims were in suspended animation, not imprisoned and slowly going insane.
That didn't stop me from feeling righteous anger, or using a forcefield battering ram to break the window so I could go through it.
The youma Shakoukai was ready for me, but I was also ready for her. The wax that she thought she was shooting at me only covered a pair of forcefields. I pushed her out of the room we were in, both to protect her victims and to bring Sailor Moon into the fight.
"Why is there a youma here?"
"She's your teacher! And all of the girls who passed her course are trapped in wax in the next room!" I put up another forcefield to protect Bunny-chan, Mina-san, and Hino-san.
"Ew, ick! Moon Prism Power, Make-Up!"
"Mars Power, Make-Up!"
"Venus Power, Make-Up!"
I sighed as I blocked another attack from Shakoukai. "Since when do you transform right in front of a youma?" I asked with some steel in my voice.
"Whoops."
"We just need to defeat her first! Fire..."
"Mars, no! Don't melt the wax statues that she turned people into!"
She aborted her attack. Quickly. As Mars reached for an ofuda instead, Venus launched an attack of her own: "Crescent Beam!"
I'd never seen a wax impression of a laser beam before that day.
"Enough playing around," I said as I slammed Shakoukai into a wall and pinned her there, making sure she couldn't launch another attack while leaving her forehead uncovered.
"Akuryo Taisan!"
Venus took Tuxedo Kamen's usual role. "Good work, Mars! Moon, now!"
"Moon Healing Escalation!"
And suddenly I had Countess Rose pinned to the wall, not Shakoukai. She cried "Refresh!" and fainted as I let her loose, and Venus caught her.
Then we heard screams of panic from the next room. I was never so happy to hear panicky screaming girls in my entire life.
Ten minutes later, we very carefully confirmed that Countess Rose had no memory of the Sailor Senshi's identities.
While escorting Makoto and Ami-san home, I idly wondered why Hino-san didn't pass the course.
"Why would you expect that she'd pass?"
"Because of her family... Oh, wait. She doesn't like her father, does she?"
Ami-san nodded. "That's right, but if she didn't tell you that, then don't mention him in her presence."
"Wait a minute," Makoto interrupted. "Rei-san is part of that Hino family?"
"Yes, and you can imagine the scandal if her secret identity was revealed."
I added, "I wouldn't be surprised if she deliberately didn't learn the skills of high society."
"It looks like Bunny-chan didn't learn them, either," commented Makoto.
"Too bad," I replied. "It looks like you two will have to be the group's elegant members until Sailor Neptune shows up."
"Oh-ho! So there's a Sailor Neptune, is there?" Makoto grinned.
Oopsie. "To quote Rubeus Hagrid, I shouldn't'a told ya that."
"Who's Rubeus Hagrid?"
Before Makoto and Ichigo-san joined us for lunch on Monday, Usagi-san asked, "Naru-chan, are you busy after school?"
"I don't have any plans," she replied. "What are you thinking about doing?"
"I want to introduce you to some people I know."
Naru looked surprised. "You want me to meet... them?" she finished as she noticed the last two members of our group approaching. "I'd like that."
"Great! I'll meet you at your place after school."
I looked up at the latecomers. "Ah, there you are! Neither of you are usually late for lunch."
Ichigo-san looked miserable. "I'm not going to be allowed to go on the school trip next week." That was a special trip; instead of having a sports festival for Sports Day this year, we were all going into the mountains for a week to learn how to ski. And so were the middle-school students from Toyo Eiwa Jogakuin. Yeah, TA Girls' School. "And I really wanted to win the contest, too."
"Contest?" I asked.
"The night skiing event, only for the girls. The winner will be named the Moonlight Princess."
"Oh, that." It's a trap, of course.
« We figured that out already, darling. »
"Why can't you go?"
"Hang on to that question," Minako-san insisted. "We haven't done the Revealing Of The Lunches yet."
Other than Minako-san's lunch, there wasn't anything special. Ami-san had to comment on that one lunch, though. "Mina-chan, if you eat like that very often, your arteries will end up clogged."
"You don't think I should eat pigs in blankets?" Ichigo-san looked puzzled. Minako-san explained, "These. They're pork sausages all wrapped up in bacon like they're in blankets." And Ichigo-san was enlightened.
"Not every day, but once in a while is okay," Ami-san allowed.
"Now that that's settled, there's still a question in the air that hasn't been answered," Makoto pointed out.
Ichigo-san sighed. "Oh, right. My Japanese History grades aren't good enough. I have to stay here and take supplementary classes."
"We can do that?" I asked.
"I have to do that. Who'd want to stay behind and take classes instead of going skiing?"
"Well..." I started. "Even though I grew up in Canada, I was never very fond of winter sports. And I'm struggling with Japanese History, too."
Makoto looked sad, but said, "I suppose academics are important. But don't you dare try to get out of skating class when we have that."
That's right - figure skating was Makoto's sport. "I'll let you teach me, m-Makoto." I almost called her "my dearest", but we all knew how poorly Bunny-chan was taking Chiba-san's brainwashing.
We chatted about various and sundry things, and after lunch I asked my homeroom teacher whether I could stay behind and take the supplementary Japanese History classes. He almost declined until he checked my grades; then he told me that I was showing initiative in making the request before he had to tell me to remain behind, and approved my absence from the school trip.
School ended, and we went home to change out of our school uniforms. Then we headed for the Hikawa shrine. Makoto and I were the first to arrive, followed shortly by Ami-san, then Minako-san and Artemis, and finally Usagi-san, Naru-san, and Luna.
After paying our respects to the shrine and the resident kami, we joined Hino-san in her home. "Thank you for visiting, Osaka-san," she said with a smile on her face.
Looking around, Naru-san formally replied, "Pardon my intrusion." Then she asked, "Do we all know the secret?"
As previously discussed, I took the lead and bowed deeply to Naru. "Osaka-san, I must apologize to you for my misleading statement earlier. While it is true that Mizuno-san knew that Tsukino-san is Sailor Moon before I met either of them, I did not explain how she knew and I allowed you to reach an incorrect conclusion."
Then it was Ami-san's turn to bow. "And I apologize to you for not telling you this earlier. I'm Sailor Mercury."
"Oh, raise your heads, you two. I suspected as much. Thank you for telling me the truth." Then she turned to Minako-san. "How do you know the secret, Aino-san?"
"My cat told me," she replied.
"Your cat."
"That's right," Artemis replied.
"Gaah! Talking cat!"
"Naru-san, this is Artemis. He's a Mau, not a cat," I explained.
"What's a Mau?"
"An alien who looks like an Earth cat," he explained. "Although, as you can hear, we can talk."
"Sure. Of course you are." Naru-san turned to Usagi, who was still holding Luna. "And I suppose your pet cat is a Mau, too."
"I am," Luna answered.
"Would you care for some tea, Osaka-san?"
She nodded. "I'd like that, Hino-san. How is it that you know Usagi's secret?"
"I'm Sailor Mars."
"That makes sense, I guess. So the only Sailor Senshi that I haven't met yet is Sailor V?"
Artemis replied, "You didn't ask why I told Minako about Usagi-san."
Naru-san blinked. Twice. "You're..."
"I call myself Sailor Venus now."
"I've been having lunch with four of the Sailor Senshi and Oni for how long, now? And I only figured out three of your identities."
"That's three more than Aoyama-san has figured out, we think." Usagi-san said.
"Oh. Good. I'm not a complete idiot." Naru-san turned to me. "I suppose you're Tuxedo Kamen, too."
I shook my head and gave the reply that we'd prepared for a question like that one. "No. Tuxedo Kamen is somebody else who I don't have the right to name at the moment. And now we start telling you things that only the inner circle know." I made a motion with my hand that encompassed everyone in the room... including Naru-san. "Tuxedo Kamen has been kidnapped and brainwashed by our enemies, the Dark Kingdom."
"The group that Nephrite was part of."
"And Zoicite, who I watched die," Makoto confirmed.
"He's dead? That's good to hear," she said with some venom in her voice. "I've been afraid ever since that bastard killed Nephrite that he'd come after me next." After she sipped her tea, she asked, "How did you find out about Usagi-san, Donarudoson-san?"
"Please, call me Rob. Not everyone in this room knows my entire story, so I'll only share part of it with you. I'm from the year 2022."
"Time travel is impossible. They said so in science class."
"Yet I'm here. And it isn't impossible for Sai..." I cut myself off before saying the name.
Makoto wouldn't let me stay silent, though. "Oh, no. That's a secret that we need to know. It might give us an advantage over the Dark Kingdom. Which one of us can travel in time?"
"Since you put it that way..." I sighed. "Sailor Pluto."
"And how do we contact Sailor Pluto?" Hino-san demanded.
"I have no idea. According to the records I have access to, she contacted you."
"So much for having another ally in the fight."
"Sorry, Bunny-chan. And please stop asking me about Sailor Senshi other than the people in this room."
Naru-san took pity on me. "If you're from 2022, why are you here in 1992, Robu-san?"
"That's a good question, Naru-san. And I don't have an answer for it."
"Are you here because the Senshi need your help?"
I shook my head. "They're quite able to fight their own battles."
"I should hope so," Hino-san muttered.
"Did you volunteer to come back in time?"
"No. To be honest, this world is primitive in many ways, and I'm not completely comfortable here. You don't even have internet connections in every home yet."
That caught Ami-san's attention, but she didn't ask about it then.
"Is there anything about this time that's better than in 2022?"
"Yes," I replied instantly. "Makoto."
She smiled. "Robu has let me see a few of those records of his. I didn't have a boyfriend in the reality where he didn't come to 1992."
Naru-san thought for a moment. "So you've changed history."
"Only in ways that don't affect the Dark Kingdom."
"What do the Dark Kingdom want, anyway?"
Everybody waited for the answer to that question.
After a moment, I decided to tell them. "You have a right to know, but please don't tell anyone else. We don't need mass panic. They're trying to gather enough energy to revive their dark kami, Metaria, and take over the world."
Nobody said anything for a moment.
Finally, Naru-san whispered, "I never imagined that what you were doing was that big."
"Are we going to win?"
I turned to Usagi-san. "Naru-san has already told you that I've changed history. I certainly hope we'll win, and if you'll have me I'll fight by your side to help make that happen, but I can't make any promises."
"Mako-chan, are there any hints in the records Robu-san let you read?"
Instead of answering, she ran out of the room.
Before Ami-san and I followed her out, I said more harshly than I intended, "Never ask that again."
Between the two of us, Ami-san and I calmed Makoto down to where she was coherent again. "Why did Usagi have to ask me that?"
"Because she doesn't know what the answer means," I replied.
"And she mustn't know," Ami-san added. "We should never have learned."
I swept both of them into a hug. "And I'm so sorry that I told you. But I'm never going to lie to either of you. Or to Usagi-san, either."
We stood there for a moment, simply feeling each other's friendship. Skinship is a wonderful way to grow closer, as long as everybody involved agrees to it and respects each other's boundaries.
"Thank you for telling us, Rob-san," Ami-san finally said.
"And thank you for being here for me," Makoto added.
We let go of each other. "And thank you both for being yourselves. Remember when I said that you and Usagi-san were my only friends here? That's changed - there's Artemis and Minako-san and Ichigo-san, and I hope Naru-san, and even Luna and Hino-san, but the two of you are still my closest friends."
"Even Hino-san?" the person in question asked from her bedroom doorway.
"Well, we don't spend very much time together," I pointed out. "But I still hope you're my friend."
"You're as clueless as Yuuichirou-kun," she complained. "Of course we're friends. But I'm not ready to be on a given-name basis with you. Are you three ready to come back inside?"
"Mako-chan?"
She nodded to Ami-san. "Yeah, let's go."
We discovered Usagi-san bowing to us when we returned. "I'm sorry, Mako-chan. I shouldn't have asked that question. I don't know why I shouldn't have asked, but I'm sure you have your reasons."
"U-sa-gi..." Hino-san growled.
"Please ignore that last sentence!"
Naru-san giggled. "Now I know why you want me involved in the group. You need somebody with some common sense."
We all joined in on the laughter.
Then I had an idea. "This faux pas reminds me of an idea one of you had, I forget who, to make it look like there was a rift between the Sailor Senshi."
« When did we have this idea, darling? »
« Let's see; we're almost at episode 38 now, and it showed up in episode 43, so... »
« Oh. One of those ideas. » "I think that was my idea."
"But why?" Naru-san asked.
"So that the Dark Kingdom would think they could recruit one of you, and then we could finally find their base. Right?"
Makoto smiled upon my explanation of "her" idea. "That's it exactly."
"It could work," Artemis said. "But we'd have to put a lot of work into it."
"Which is why I was thinking we should start now. Naru-san, your role in this would be... let's see..."
"The friend who refuses to abandon Usagi." She must have seen the surprised look on my face. "Well, who here would the Dark Kingdom most want to recruit, if not Sailor Moon?"
We continued tossing around ideas until it was time to go home for supper... at which point we had the beginning of a plan.
I decided to listen to some music that evening... but when I switched on my laptop, I discovered that there was a message waiting for me.
Untitled. And from an unknown sender.
Was I finally about to get some answers as to why I was here? Or was this the first spam message in this world's existence? I opened the email.
"Please be more careful about what you say to others. --Meioh"
I hit reply... only to discover that the address was "example@example.com".
I quickly examined the message source... only to discover that the email appeared to originate from localhost.
Stupid genre conventions. And stupid internet conventions.
While the girls were off skiing, and Bunny-chan and Hino-san were getting caught in (and getting out of) a youma trap, I was sitting nice and warm in a Japanese History classroom for four hours a day. And so was Ichigo-san.
We were the only two students in the class. But not in the school; Sakurada-sensei had a half-dozen students in her English class, to name one.
At least we didn't go all the way back to Emperor Jimmu. But going back to Emperor Meiji was bad enough. We were getting the "Greatest Hits" version of recent Japanese history.
I won't bore you with any of that. If you're interested, you can watch Rurouni Kenshin, The Wind Rises, Zipang, and Grave of the Fireflies just like everyone else.
Ichigo-san and I continued the tradition of the Revealing Of The Lunches, and we learned a lot about each other. At least, I learned a lot about her; I wasn't about to let her know that I was anything other than a normal if mysterious transfer student. Yet.
She was born on September 3, in Wakkanai, which I did not previously know was the northernmost city, railway stop, and point in Japan. She knew a smattering of Russian, which she admitted to speaking with a thick Japanese accent, from the occasional trip to Korsakov. She loved skiing; she went to Komadori "all the time" before her family moved to Tokyo. (I later discovered that the longest run at Komadori was 300 meters, and felt sorry for her that she didn't get to ski on a real mountain with everybody else.) She wanted to be a biologist and go back to Wakkanai to study the harbour seals. Yes, she admitted that what she really wanted was to go back to Wakkanai. And she absolutely hated Japanese History.
The way they were teaching it, I didn't blame her.
The night before the make-up exams, Ami-san texted me to tell me that Hino-san and Bunny-chan were taken out of the Moonlight Princess race by a youma attack. I thanked her and didn't tell her that things were still proceeding as much like in canon as they possibly could, given the compressed timeline. She didn't need to know just how happy I wasn't.
But, at the end of the week, we both managed to pass the make-up test. Barely, but scores in the low-60s were enough to keep us from failing.
We met our friends at the school, which was the designated drop-off point for the buses returning from the mountains, with our passing marks clearly displayed. Usagi-san congratulated Ichigo-san while Makoto congratulated me. (No hugs, at least not in public.)
And Makoto mentioned picking up a flyer at the ski resort, advertising a special session with the professional figure-skating duo Janelyn and Misha. "It looks like you're going to get that chance to skate with me sooner than we thought."
I pointed at the fine print without looking at the flyer. "What does it say here?"
"'Limited to groups of five females only'. So you've seen the flyer already."
I made sure Ichigo-san wasn't listening before I replied. "No, except in an anime."
"Ah. Trap?" she asked as she picked up most of her own luggage.
"Trap. But we should still spring it," I added as I picked up the last of her bags and the largest of Ami-san's. The three of us headed for the bus stop just down the road. "If we're very lucky, we might turn it to our advantage."
It took me a couple of days to find skates in my size. Then Makoto and I went for a practice skate after school.
At which point I discovered that I didn't need any practice to keep up with her. And I wasn't pulling the skills out of her brainprint, either.
"I thought you said you didn't like winter sports," she said while lazily doing a double axel. "When did you get so good?"
I concentrated and pulled off a double axel of my own. "I don't know. What time is it?"
"Don't tell me that you've never done this before. Nobody gets that good in one session."
"Well, I haven't. But nobody becomes fluent in Japanese in one night, either."
"Oh." After a moment, she asked, "Is this where you say something about genre conventions?"
"Yes, it is. And they are stupid."
"No, they're not. We just discovered that we have something we can do together for fun." She skated over to me, took my hand, and started spinning, so I dropped and let her lead a gender-flipped forward-outside death spiral. Then I wondered how I knew the terminology for what we were doing.
"When we're up against Janelyn and Misha this weekend, we have to do one of these," I grinned. "There's no way they'll be able to pull one off."
"They're professional level skaters!" she pointed out while pulling me back to vertical.
And then I revealed how little I knew then about the performing arts. "And their attitudes are firmly rooted in the 1990s, when gender roles on ice are, pardon the pun, frozen. I have no doubt that Misha could lead a Love Spiral, but could Janelyn?" I put one arm around her waist. "No, that's something that I think only you can do here and now."
"You say the sweetest things, darling," she said with a smile.
"Only because they're true, my dearest," I replied with a smile of my own.
We worked on our elements for as long as they'd let us use the rink, reading each others' minds to get our timing down and turning the sport into the beginnings of a martial art.
After they finally kicked us out, we grabbed a beef bowl each at the counter where I'd first met Urawa-san. "What gave you the idea for martial arts figure skating?"
"A couple of things. First, you were enjoying skating with me and I wanted to make it something that's all our own. Second, the dancing martial art of capoeira. Third, one of Rumiko Takahashi's manga stories."
"Oh, now I remember reading that! It's completely unrealistic to freeze over a swimming pool, though."
"That story had people who changed sex or species when they got wet, and you're complaining about realism?"
"Consider that we both know about people who transform into Sailor Senshi," she replied as our orders arrived.
"If you're saying that that could happen in real life, I'm going to have to ask for proof. And I'm not going to China to find it."
Makoto pouted. "So we're not going to China for our honeymoon. Meanie."
"I assumed we were going to honeymoon somewhere in Japan, that we can reach without needing to fly."
Her mood darkened. "I should slug you for mentioning that, but I know you were thinking of my feelings. Just... don't bring it up again, okay?"
"Sure. And I'm sorry." I'd forgotten that it was a sore spot for her.
Since it seemed that I had an unlimited budget for relatively small purchases, I took Makoto shopping in Shibuya the next day, and we picked out matching green outfits for the weekend - the same shade of green as Sailor Jupiter's uniform.
She was surprised to find outfits that fit us both, matched, and gave us enough room to move, all on short notice and in the same shop - a place called "Atelier Lucent" about halfway down Center Gai. After seeing the designer's tag on my shirt, I wasn't surprised. I most carefully did not point out that we had just picked out some Setsuna Meioh original outfits.
I guess I didn't piss Pluto off as much as I thought I had.
And then the big day arrived. We met near the rink where Janelyn and Misha were offering the free class. "Robu-san, this is for girls only," Usagi-san said.
"Groups of five girls," I replied. "Who's the most famous group of five girls in Minato right now?"
"Five girls and a guy or two," Makoto added. "But they've already got your guy." Usagi-san pouted at the reminder.
"So we're not actually going to get a free skating lesson?"
I smiled. "No, Mina-chan, you'll get that lesson. But you'll also get ID'ed unless we're careful. And that's where I come in. Or, rather, where I go in with some other group who they aren't watching as closely as they're watching people our age. I'll see you in there." I faded into invisibility and snuck in with a group who looked old enough to be OLs.
At least, I looked like I thought I snuck in. I assumed Kunzite could duplicate his youma's see-invisible trick whenever he wanted.
By the time I'd found the control room for the scanners, the girls were on the ice. And nobody was in the scanner control room.
I rectified that shortcoming and locked the door behind me. Then I took a look at the scanner's control system.
It was running Windows for Workgroups. Oh, look, a trap. But I'd brought my cellphone and a kludge cable, and viruses for Windows in this day and age weren't going to touch the Android OS from three decades uptime. So I looked for a data port.
Five minutes later, I was in their system, downloading their files... other than the viruses that they were trying oh-so-hard and failing to plant on my phone.
Ten minutes after that, I had their data, and had corrupted the biometric information that they had on the Senshi. Mission accomplished. Now to find some place to lock up my things and prepare to go skating.
I noticed on the big display Makoto lifting Misha over her head, much to her delight, his surprise, and Janelyn's annoyance. I had to get ready now. Remaining invisible, I unlocked the door and headed to the change rooms.
By the time I got to the ice, Janelyn was kicking everybody else out. I watched for a while, wondering when Usagi-san would get back... then I realized that, since I'd corrupted the biometric data, there was never going to be a match for her to discover and a reason for her to return. I headed back out with forcefields protecting my skate blades, and looked for her. I quickly found her near the control room.
"Bunny-chan, over here," I whispered.
"Oni? Where are you?"
"Down the hall, toward the rink. The party's about to start at centre ice, and Sailor Moon's invited. See you there!"
As I headed back to the rink, I heard behind me, "Moon Prism Power, Make-Up!"
When I made it back, Misha and Janelyn were arguing with each other, and she was threatening to break up their partnership if he didn't do something about "that girl" - Makoto - right away. I knew my cue. I dropped my invisibility and did a slow clap from the corner of the ice. "Ah, such teamwork! Such professionalism! Who made you two a team for Japan, the Russians?"
As soon as their attention was on me, Makoto made a break for it.
"Don't interfere!"
"How dare you!"
"Are you upset that I'm here, or that I called your relationship so well?"
Makoto was just clear of the door when Kunzite made his appearance. "We meet again, Oni! And I finally get to see your face. I was hoping to kill some Sailor Senshi with this trap, but their ally will do just as well."
"How many times have you Dark Generals tried to kill me, again? I've lost count!" « Hurry up and change, my dearest! »
« I just finished transforming, darling! Since Kunzite's watching, Moon and I are going to make an entrance like you've never seen before! »
"We only need to succeed once. Janelyn! Misha! Transform!"
And they did. But just as they finished their transformations, two doors burst open and two Senshi raced for the rink... and ran into each other just before they reached the ice.
"Ow!"
"Watch where you're going, you clumsy crybaby!"
« Don't overdo it! Kunzite's not stupid. »
"I'll show you who's clumsy!" Sailor Moon stepped onto the ice and skated while giving her speech. "You have turned the ice rink that should have been a place for girls to dream of the Olympics into a place of fear! Kristi Yamaguchi might forgive you, but I will not! In the name of the Moon..." and she pulled off a quadruple axel "... I will punish you!"
I was impressed. « I'm about to make you jealous, my dearest. Sorry. »
« Good, I can work with that. »
"Wow, a quadruple axel! That's better than even Itō Midori-san can do!"
Jupiter sneered: "Is that so?" And she performed a more elegant quadruple axel of her own, landing right beside me, "Pay attention to your own partner, Oni!" Then she turned to Kunzite. "We will not be defeated by your youma! The Emerald Pair is here!"
« 'Emerald Pair'? Really? »
« Martial arts figure skating was your idea, darling. »
The youma Janelyn finally found her voice. "We should be learning from these two, not attacking them."
"We have our orders. Die, Sailor Moon!"
But before they could attack us, a rose came flying from the rafters and embedded itself in the ice.
A black rose.
Everybody looked up - except for me. I kept my eyes on the youma. Besides, I didn't need to see Chiba-san to know he was in full Tuxedo mode.
"Sailor Moon! Give me the Ginzuishou and I'll let you live!"
"Tuxedo Kamen-sama!"
"How many times do I have to tell you? I am Endymion. What is your answer, Sailor Moon?"
"Tuxedo Kamen-sama, won't you come back to us?"
"Join them and die!" Youma-Misha shouted.
"I won't let you kill her!" And he leapt down to the ice, landing beside Sailor Moon.
« Is this how the anime played out, darling? »
« Different words, but the same general idea, my dearest. »
"What about the other two?"
Sailor Moon put an arm around Tuxedo Endymion's waist and posed as if they were about to begin a pairs performance. "Nobody kills anybody today!"
"You're crimping our style, Moon!" Jupiter shouted. "But what do you care, as long as you get to spend all the time you want with Tuxedo Kamen! Fine! We'll do the real job here!" We both started skating toward the youma.
Misha threw Janelyn at us.
We ducked together, hydroblading in unison, and let her fly over our heads.
She landed on her skates. Of course, she was a professional, so we should have expected that. "Now we have you flanked!"
"There's only two of you!" Jupiter straightened up but I didn't, and we performed a gender-flipped forward-outside death spiral just like we'd practiced... but with me extending a forcefield to knock both of the youma off their feet.
Although I accidentally-on-purpose clipped Sailor Moon as well, sending her into Tuxedo Endymion's arms. Since Jupiter and Moon were supposed to be at odds, we needed it to look good.
"Watch it, you two!"
As I straightened up, Jupiter asked, "Oh, are you finally going to take part in this fight?" We did synchronous twizzles to face and close with them instead of the youma... and then stopped, pretending we didn't know our opponents were preparing to attack us from behind.
"I'll show you what I can do! Moon... Healing..."
Jupiter and I pushed off of each other, giving Moon a clear shot at both youma.
"Escalation! Hey, you dodged!"
But she'd hit her actual targets. Janelyn and Misha said "Refresh!" in unison - the first thing they'd actually done in unison since I stepped onto the ice.
"You incompetent idiots!" It looked like Kunzite bought our little show. "Die with the others! I'll freeze you all and take the Ginzuishou from your cold, dead hand, Sailor Moon!" And he teleported away just after cranking the aircon up to eleven... thousand.
I had my hands, and my forcefields, full protecting Janelyn and Misha from the cold. So it was up to Tuxedo Endymion to save everybody... just like in canon.
As far as I was concerned, this battle was just another missed chance to change things for the better.
"I will leave you now today, Sailor Moon, But rest assured that I will have the Ginzuishou from you."
"Tuxedo Kamen-sama..."
Janelyn and Misha looked at Moon, then at Jupiter and me. "Do you remember when we used to work together like them, Misha?"
"We still can, Janelyn."
The three of us left the two of them to their future. By the time I'd changed and secured my belongings - including my cellphone with all of that Dark Kingdom data - Minako-san, Ami-san, and Hino-san had met up with Makoto and Bunny-chan, and we were all ready to head out.
"I never want to go skating again in my life," Ami-san commented.
"You looked like you were enjoying yourself at the time," commented Minako-san.
"I had to concentrate on keeping my balance. I couldn't skate and read at the same time..."
I smiled. "Ami-san, don't ever change. We like you just the way you are."
Over the next few evenings, Ami-san and I carefully sorted through the data that I was able to grab from Janelyn and Misha's computers, being doubly certain to ensure no viruses, trackers, or other malware ended up on either my laptop or the Mercury Computer.
There wasn't much that we didn't already know. I'm assuming the girls already knew their own weights, heights, three sizes, and other distinguishing features... but I kept those data models anyway since I was still considering upgrading the Sailor V game to photorealistic. Why reinvent the wheel?
We did find five locations that the Dark Kingdom liked anchoring their teleport tunnels to. They had designations, not names: "A", "B", "C", "D", and "E" points.
I just knew we were going to end up visiting D-Point as a team. Because canon said so. Stupid inexorable genre conventions.
I said nothing about that to Ami-san.
There were also notes about a Papillon project, which was already underway and expected to end with the death of Sailor Venus. This, I did tell Ami-san about, mentioning that we needed to warn Minako-san about it.
And the scanning software that Janelyn used caught Ami-san's eye. She copied it to the Mercury Computer for later study and possible upgrades.
As long as she was interested in upgrading her hardware, and we were at my apartment so I knew we wouldn't be overheard by anybody but Makoto, I suggested tying the communicators in with the Navstar array so we could find each other.
"I considered that, but I couldn't make it work properly. The GPS coordinates were always off, sometimes by as much as thirty-five meters," Ami replied.
I wondered why, then remembered that this was a feature, not a bug, and it would remain on until May 2000. "They're programmed to be off by as much as fifty meters on a pseudorandom differential and schedule, so that the system can't be used against the US military," I replied. "But if we set up a secondary transmitter with a known location, we can use that to counter that feature, and use the satellites with close to the same precision that the US government enjoys as long as we're in the same general area as our transmitter."
"Using the known location's reporting error as a counter-differential to apply to the system's reported location!"
"Exactly!"
Ami smiled. "We work well together, Rob-san. And I'm glad that you're on our side." By this time, we were long past the family-name-basis stage of our friendship.
I smiled in return. "I think of you as a friend, too, Ami-san."
Which got a slight blush from her, that she tried to get me to ignore by asking about English grammar. "I've noticed that sometimes you call Mako-chan your dearest. Does that mean that there are other people who are dear and dearer to you?"
Amazingly enough, I had an answer for her that had nothing to do with grammar. "You're almost as important to me as Makoto is, so you would be my dearer friend. And Bunny-chan - Usagi-san - finishes the set by being a dear friend to me, but not so dear that I love her or you the way I love Makoto."
"Thank you, Rob-san," she whispered.
Whoops. She's acting the same way that Makoto did before we finally realized that we loved each other. I don't want a harem. "Oh, that question about dearer and dearest people reminds me that Urawa-san should be showing up again some time soon."
That got a smile out of her. "I'll be happy to see him again." And that wasn't a whisper.
The weekend came. No, not The Weeknd; he was only two years old. But the girls managed to get some entertainment that weekend anyway.
It started with everybody but Usagi getting together at the Hikawa shrine. "Where's Bunny-chan?" asked Minako-san.
Luna sniffed in disdain. "She is taking the weekend off, and has gone to the mountains with her family to ... how did you say it, Artemis-san?"
"She's gone to take the waters."
"Oh, an onsen? We should have gone, too," commented Hino-san.
"We should go. All of us." Everybody turned to look at Ami. "We've all been under a lot of stress lately. Relaxing would be good for us."
"That's all well and good," Makoto said, "but which onsen is she visiting? It's not as if we can track each other."
Ami-san smiled as she opened the Mercury Computer. "We can now, to within... how close was it, Rob-san?"
"You've implemented it already? You work fast. To within fifty meters."
"To within fifty meters of her communicator," Ami-san finished while looking up Usagi-san's location. "And there it is. We're all going, right?"
Luna shook her head. "Usagi told me to mind the house, and she is my princess."
The others all thought it was a good idea.
"You're coming too, right, Rob-san?"
How should I answer that? Truthfully, of course. "So, Ami-chan, you want a teenage boy who you know can turn invisible to join you in a trip to an onsen?"
Before anybody else could react, Hino-san said "Bad idea" flatly.
"Yeah. No looking at other girls naked, darling!"
Even Minako-san was surprised. "What were you thinking, Ami-san? And you're staying home too, Artemis!"
Ami-san didn't say anything, but she did blush. I hoped that that was from embarrassment.
"While you have fun and Luna minds the house, Artie and I will find something to do here."
"I'll bring you back a souvenir," Makoto promised.
I found out later that their trip went almost exactly according to canon, except that it was only Endymion who was there to awaken the lake monster. Kunzite... well, Artie and I knew exactly what Kunzite was up to at the same time. The bastard.
I answered for Ami-san in class Saturday morning, letting the teacher know that she was unavoidably away that day. It being a half-day, we didn't get together for lunch, but Naru-san and Ichigo-san did meet me at the school gate, where Artemis was waiting for me. "Want to go get something to eat?" Ichigo-san asked.
"It would have to be somewhere pet-friendly; I'm taking care of Minako-san's pet cat today while she's out of town," I replied while scooping Artemis up.
"Nyan."
Ichigo-san looked at Artemis. "Did you just say the word 'nyan' instead of purring?"
"Don't be silly..." Naru-san said, just before Kunzite teleported directly in front of us. "Eek!"
He looked around. "So this is Kuritsu Juban Chuugakkou, the school that sent at least four students to the Princess Seminar immediately before Sailor Moon, Sailor Mars, and Oni shut down that operation. And look who's here. Hello again, Oni." He said the last while looking straight at me.
"Who are you?" Ichigo-san asked. "And why are you calling him 'Oni'?"
"Don't play dumb! He is a six-foot tall brown-haired white man in Japan. Did you seriously think he had a secret identity?"
What a time for the stupid genre conventions to fail.
"And the two of you... No, you're Nephrite's pet human, not a Senshi at all," he sneered at Naru-san, much to her dismay. "And you... don't look like any of the Sailor Senshi. Where are they, Oni? I want to kill you all at the same time."
That last statement got Ichigo-san to run, quickly followed by Naru-san as soon as Artemis jumped from my arm to hers.
"What makes you think I'll tell you, Kunzite?"
He laughed. "No, of course you won't tell me. You're too fond of them to see them hurt, aren't you? I'll just have to look for them myself. And to make sure you don't run away..." He pulled that thrice-damned black crystal from who-knows-where, and pointed it behind me. "... Have a sparring partner to keep you busy!" He shot past me, then teleported off somewhere.
I turned quickly, to see that a crowd of students had gathered behind me... and the he'd hit a classmate of mine.
Sato-san didn't look much different as a youma, except for being twice as tall, three times as muscular, and five times as annoyed. Specifically, annoyed with me. "Die, Donaldson-san!"
He finally said my name right. Hell of a price to pay for that ability, though.
He slammed his hands together, forcing the air to rush toward me. I barely got a forcefield up in time, and as it was I was pushed back a meter.
Most of my schoolmates decided that this was a good time to run. As I feinted to the left then broke to the right, I shouted at the others, "This isn't a play! Get out of here! Now!"
Then I heard screams from inside the school grounds.
But I'd let myself be distracted, and youma-Sato-san was taking a swing at me. The only reason my head stayed attached to my body was that I'd raised a forcefield from learned reflex. As it was, I was shoved a couple of meters to the side, only stopping when I hit a tree.
"I don't have time for you, Sato-san!" I used a forcefield battering ram on him...
...only to see him shrug it off. "Die!"
It was then that I realized I had no choice. In desperation, I wrapped youma-Sato-san ... Sato-san ... in three forcefields at once. Three body-conforming forcefields. That didn't let air through.
He struggled, but instead of holding the forcefields firm, I let them move with his body while staying just out of his reach.
I'll give him this much; he actually managed to break one of the forcefields before he fell over from asphyxiation.
Then I made a decision that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I couldn't let him regain consciousness and attack somebody else.
I left the forcefields in place.
Damn me.
And damn the stupid genre conventions.
I headed toward the source of the screams.
The first body I found was Ichigo-san's. Checking quickly, I discovered she was merely unconscious.
I quickly found other schoolmates - people I didn't know - in the same condition.
Then I found Naru-san, barely awake. "He... drained my... energy," she told me before finally succumbing.
And then I saw Kunzite. There was no way that I was about to fight fair, not after what he'd done to Sato-san. I hit him from behind with everything I had other than one forcefield that I had to keep up around Sato-san.
My cowardly sneak attack actually slammed him into a wall.
Instead of turning to face me, he teleported away. The coward.
I looked through the school grounds at high speed until I found Artemis. "Artie! Can you turn a youma back into a human?"
He shook his head. "Only Sailor Moon can do that."
Then I felt the forcefield I had around Sato-san go slack. I grabbed Artemis and headed back to the school gate... to find Sato-san's body had returned to normal. The school nurse had arrived and was trying desperately to bring him back, performing CPR.
All I said was, "Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me."
Seventeen students were taken to the hospital.
One was taken to the morgue.
Class 5 was given Monday afternoon off to attend Sato Kichirou's funeral.
Nobody blamed me. Nobody other than Artemis even knew that I was the one who'd killed him.
But I knew.
And, as soon as she read my mind after returning from their weekend away, Makoto knew, too. And I knew she knew. She didn't visit me that evening.
Instead, Minako-san paid me a visit on Monday evening. "I'm guessing you aren't in the mood for these," she said in English while putting a box of onsen manju on my kitchen counter.
"You guess right. Thanks anyway."
She sat down beside me. "Artemis told me what happened."
"I killed my classmate."
"No, Kunzite killed him. You put him out of his misery."
"I could have saved him! I could have hit Kunzite as soon as I saw him."
Minako shook her head. "No, you couldn't. Mako-chan's already told me that he can counter any of your attacks. That's why I had to rescue all of you, remember?"
"I've been getting stronger, though."
"And if you did attack Kunzite right away, what would have happened to Artemis? Or Naru? Or Ichigo?"
"Who knows? I didn't attack him right away."
"And they got clear of the fight because you didn't make them targets. And even if you did attack Kunzite as soon as he showed up, which would have blown your cover at school, would that have stopped him from turning somebody else into a youma?"
I sighed deeply. "No. No, it wouldn't."
"As soon as Kunzite showed up while Sailor Moon wasn't available, somebody was going to die. You couldn't change that no matter how hard you tried."
"I guess. But ..." I realized what I was about to say, and couldn't continue.
"But?"
I had to say something. "I knew Sato-san. Have you ever had to kill somebody you knew, Minako?"
It was her turn to sigh deeply. "Let me tell you about the Dark Agency's leader, Danburite, better known to the world as Ace Saijyo... or the love interest of Sailor V."
She had it worse than I did. I barely knew Sato-san as an acquaintance and classmate. She'd had to kill the person she thought she was in love with.
Genre conventions that force people to kill other people are the stupidest genre conventions of all.
A few minutes after Minako left, there was a knock at my door.
"It's unlocked, Makoto," I said in Japanese.
She came in, locked the door behind her, and without saying anything held me the way a mother would hold her frightened child.
I finally fell asleep in her arms, and didn't dream.
The discussion topic at the Conversational English club that week was grief. And Sakurada-sensei sat in, which wasn't a surprise; she and I had actually been present when Kunzite attacked the school, and neither of us were handling the matter well.
I almost threw caution to the winds. Then I realized that telling everyone that things were about to get worse wouldn't help anyone. Besides, it wouldn't be true. There was still one good thing left to happen in canon, and it was something that I was going to do my best to make sure wouldn't be changed.
Which of course meant that it was changed almost immediately. Urawa Ryou-san was waiting for us outside the school gates. "Mizuno-san, it's good to see you again," he said with the faintest outline of a smile. Then he turned to me and lost even that much expression. "Donarudoson-san, we need to talk."
"Let's go to my place," I suggested. "The others can join us there once they've changed out of their uniforms."
"But... Alright," Ami-san said quietly.
Minako-san looked at Ami-san, then at Urawa-san. "I'll have to bow out. I'm expecting friends from England to visit tomorrow, and I need to get ready for them." Then she winked at me, and I knew she knew I knew why she was really bowing out. Senshi of Love, indeed.
The ladies went their ways and Urawa-san accompanied me. "You already know why I'm back." It wasn't a question.
I forced a smile; I wasn't in the mood so soon after Sato-san's death, but it was appropriate. "To see your girlfriend, and also something about the most powerful youma of all."
"She isn't my girlfriend."
"So, you just want to take random girls on dates to amusement parks?"
Urawa-san shook his head. "I meant that she isn't my girlfriend until she says she is. If she ever says she is."
I raised an eyebrow. "You're the precog; don't you know?"
"No. I see possible futures, not a definite future. And right now I'm seeing three futures. The first is that somebody called Endymion turns me and the other Rainbow Crystal hosts into a powerful youma, and the Dark Kingdom takes over the world. The second is that Mizuno-san stops this Endymion person, she and her friends fight the Dark Kingdom and lose, and the Dark Kingdom takes over the world."
After a moment, I asked, "And the third?"
"Mizuno-san stops Endymion, she and her friends fight the Dark Kingdom and die, and something happens to time itself."
"Because Sailor Moon resets reality."
Urawa-san actually looked relieved at my statement. "Ah. That's what I couldn't foresee. I was worried that they might have destroyed the entire planet during the fight."
"The downside to what you've told me is that Ami-san and the others have to die in order for the Dark Kingdom to be defeated."
He looked at his feet. "I'm sorry."
"Am I one of the others that you just mentioned? And are you?"
"I've never been able to see your future clearly, Donarudoson-san. And what's the difference between me foreseeing my own death and me foreseeing time being reset? Either way, there's nothing to see beyond the event." We stopped walking, and he commented, "Nice place you've got here."
"Thanks, My apartment's on the second floor, unit 201." I wondered whether Makoto was home, and opened my mind to try to detect hers.
« Yes, darling, I've been waiting for you to get home so we could do our homework together. Who's your friend? »
« Don't you recognize Urawa Ryou-san, my dearest? You helped Bunny-chan and Ami-san turn him back into a human. »
« Oh! That's Ryou the Psychic Boy? I guess homework can wait. »
« I have got to stop thinking that nickname for him. » At this point, we were nearly at my door. « Want to come over and meet him? And is it okay if he knows who you are? »
« Yes and yes. » Her front door opened. "Hi, Robu!" she said with a smile as I got my keys out of my pocket.
"Hi, Makoto! Come on in. You've already met Urawa-san."
"She has?" he asked.
"Don't tell me you only used your precognitive powers to learn the identity of only one Sailor Senshi."
At this point, he smiled. "Ah. We aren't keeping secrets from Kino-san, then. It's good to meet you under more pleasant circumstances, Sailor Jupiter."
Once we were all in my apartment, I put up an opaque forcefield to give myself some privacy while I changed from school uniform to casual clothes. "Urawa-san and I were just talking about the near future, Makoto."
"I don't suppose you figured out an easy way for me to survive the upcoming fight?"
I sighed deeply, and her smile disappeared.
Urawa-san commented, "We really aren't keeping secrets from Kino-san, are we?"
"Ami-san knows, too," Makoto explained. "Robu refuses to keep any secrets from either of us. The other Sailor Senshi ... well, if they know or suspect, it isn't because I told them."
"Nor have I," I added as I let my privacy screen drop and finished buttoning my shirt.
"As far as I can foresee, any path forward that doesn't result in you and Mizuno-san dying lets the Dark Kingdom win."
Before Makoto could reply, I said, "Let's save this discussion for after Ami-san gets here."
So we did. Urawa-san told us about his home in Niigata, a couple of hours from Tokyo by shinkansen. He seemed a bit wistful when he described the view from the Rainbow Tower in the middle of the city; I understood his wistfulness when I recalled that the tower was going to be torn down in 2018.
By the time Ami-san arrived - with sandwiches for four - I had made a decision based on Urawa-san mentioning when we first met that he already knew who and what I was. "Urawa-san, I'm about to let you in on my biggest secret. I'm from a different reality altogether, and I know how things would have gone if I wasn't here."
Makoto sighed. "We're going to watch another episode of that anime, aren't we? I'm beginning to hate that show."
"Oh, you'll like this one," I replied as I got the laptop out and queued up episode 41.
A half-hour later, Ryou looked calmer than he had before we met at school. "That's a rather elegant solution to the problem," he commented.
"But... I couldn't possibly talk that way to Tuxedo Kamen," Ami complained.
Makoto and I both rolled our eyes. "Ami-chan," Makoto said, "have you never listened to yourself when you're Sailor Mercury?"
"You're far more assertive when you're in uniform than when you aren't," I added.
Urawa-kun added, "And I think I like you better that way, Mizuno-san."
"You do?" She blushed, deeply.
« She's adorable when she's like that, isn't she? »
« You aren't falling for our best friend, are you, my dearest? Because I think Ryou-san might get upset if you did. »
« I'm pretty sure that I'm straight, darling. This is kawaiisa. »
Neither of them had noticed that we hadn't said anything for a moment... because they only had eyes for each other. "Do you want us to go next door to Makoto's apartment so the two of you can talk alone?"
"What? But... why would we have to be alone to talk about anything?"
"Oh, for... Ami-san, do you want Urawa-san and me to step outside for a moment so you can transform to Sailor Mercury and have enough self-confidence to say what you're really thinking? We just watched the anime; it's pretty obvious what the two of you think of each other."
"But... No." A bit of Mercury's spine of steel made itself heard in that "no" of Ami's. "You don't have to leave, Mako-chan, Robu-san." And she turned to Urawa-san. "May I call you Ryou?"
He smiled. "Yes, Mizuno-san."
"Ryou-san... I think I love you."
"And I love you too, Ami-san," he said as they hugged each other.
"Woo-hoo!"
"Way to spoil the mood, Makoto," I grumbled... but the two of them paid the two of us no attention.
After all of that, do I really need to describe how we foiled Endymion's plot?
I suppose I do, at least in broad strokes. He tried to grab Urawa-san... no, Ryou-san; we were all on a given-name basis after they showed how close we were by using my apartment to confess their love to each other... we slowed him down enough for Ryou-san and Ami-san to escape to Dreamland, Sailor Moon showed up and pointed out their show of love and affection combined with Makoto and me showing just as much love for each other and saying that she and Endymion used to be that close as well, he almost broke free of his brainwashing, and Kunzite attacked Endymion from behind and took him back to the Dark Kingdom.
I never should have attacked Kunzite from behind, because that told him that we weren't being chivalrous in combat any more. But it was that or risk seeing more of my schoolmates die. This was a war, not a sports meet.
What's done cannot be undone. I was beginning to realize that.
After the fight, I took Ryou to a menswear store and paid for something casual that wasn't his school uniform, along with an overnight bag for his clothes. The poor guy had run to Tokyo without packing as soon as he realized he was in danger. Which showed either a blank spot in his precognition that led him to race straight into danger, or a trust in Ami-san's abilities to protect him that showed just how much he loved her. I sincerely hoped that the second alternative was the right one.
Then we went back to my place, and he insisted that the two of us were going to do something he'd never done before.
No, not "this and that", or anything like that. He's just as straight as I am.
What we did was make a brainprint. And as soon as we were finished, he wrote out a half-page of notes and put them in his pocket.
The day after the battle, Ryou-san and Ami-san finally got to go on a date to Dreamland. Makoto showed up at Ami-san's place early and dragged our best friend's fashion sense kicking and screaming into the 1990s, so she wore something other than that canon outfit that looked like it came straight out of 1950s-era America. And Makoto, Hino-san, Luna and I all made sure that their date wasn't interrupted. And at the end of their date, when we saw him off at the train station, I saw him hand her that half-page of notes that I'd watched him write the evening before.
Minako-san and Artie? They had company from England. Usagi-san was on standby to become an actual sailor if necessary, and to continue pretending that she and the rest of us were on the outs. And it was necessary, which meant that the rest of us didn't get to help Minako-san and her friend Katrina-san mend their relationship.
Events were continuing the way they did in canon, but not at the same pace. And I hated that, even... no, especially with Ryou-san's statements that the only way to win against the Dark Kingdom was to have the Senshi die. I refused to believe that there wasn't some way to both win and survive.
But for the life of me I couldn't come up with one. Damn it.
Sato-san was already dead because of the Dark Kingdom. Were my girlfriend and our best friend truly fated to be next despite my best efforts?
And then it was Monday, and lunchtime. Other than Ichigo-san, we knew going in that it wasn't going to be a pleasant lunch.
Before Ami-san and I joined the others for lunch, I opened my mind to listen to Makoto and thought « Is anything unusual going on out there? »
« Besides paparazzi watching the school? » The picture in her mind was of a camerawoman wearing clothes straight out of the 1970s. « I guess we can't avoid them, given the tragedy earlier. »
« That particular paparazza is a youma. » I switched from thinking to Makoto in Japanese to whispering to Ami in English, counting on my girlfriend to give Bunny-chan and Naru-san a cue somehow. "We're being watched. I hope you know your lines." She nodded in reply.
The Revealing Of The Lunches went well enough. Ami, of course, had sandwiches, and so did Minako-san, although Minako-san's still had the crusts on, were thicker, and had lettuce as well as meat in them. Makoto and I shared a double-size box of assorted onigiri. Ichigo-san brought squid marinaded in miso with a side of potato-stuffed vareniki, saying that she had this sort of meal back in Wakkanai all the time (to which Usagi said she didn't understand, making the Wakkanai/wakannai pun by accident). Naru-san bought some stuffed buns from the school cafeteria. Usagi-san had the most traditional bento that day: sausages, rice, and pickles.
And none of us got to eat very much of any of it. At least, not together.
"How was everybody's weekend?" Ichigo asked, giving us the perfect cue.
Ami quietly said "I went on a date," but was drowned out by Usagi.
"Terrible! My boyfriend got hurt! Mamo-chan was hit from behind and now I don't know when I'll see him again!"
"Did you have to remind me that I don't have a boyfriend any more?" Minako grabbed her bento, stood up, and walked off.
I sighed. "Didn't she just reconcile with her friend from England, who her boyfriend liked better than her? That wasn't the best timing, Bunny-chan."
"But..." Usagi looked sad, then continued, "Yeah, I guess that wasn't the best thing for me to say. But you understand, don't you, Robu-san, Mako-chan? How would each of you feel if something happened to the other one, the way that Mamo-chan was hurt?"
Ami-san decided that this had gone on for long enough. "That's all you've been talking about all weekend! Mamo-chan this, Mamo-chan that, Mamo-chan Mamo-chan Mamo-chan! You didn't even hear what I just said! You aren't the only one whose boyfriend isn't here any more, Usagi!" And then she stormed off. Makoto and I quickly stood up and chased after her, with concerned looks on our faces and her and our bento in our hands.
We left Naru-san and Ichigo-san behind with Usagi, who shouted at our retreating backs, "Fine, be like that!"
Once we were inside the school building, Ami-san collapsed against Makoto. As far as anybody watching from the courtyard could tell, Ami-san was crying and Makoto was comforting her. Instead, Ami-san whispered, "I hated having to say that. It had to have hurt Usagi-san."
Other than whispering, "I'm sorry," all I could do was look like a friend caught in the middle of an awkward situation, and make sure they had some privacy.
Before the lunch break ended, Naru-san visited Ami-san and me in our classroom. "You couldn't have seen Usagi's point of view? Ami-san, your boyfriend's just gone back home. Her boyfriend's hurt!"
That started some murmurs in the classroom. "Mizuno-san has a boyfriend?" "Since when?" "Who's the lucky guy?" "Not Donarudoson-san, Kino-san would kill them both." I nodded in agreement to that last comment.
"I know that, and I helped cheer her up after it happened. But she hasn't said a thing about Ryou-san leaving."
"Who's Ryou-san?" "Nobody in our class is named Ryou." "Maybe somebody she met at juku?"
I stood up and stretched. "Everybody, if Mizuno-san wants to share the details of her personal life with us, she will. In her own time. Understand?"
And suddenly I changed from "big friendly Donarudoson-san" back to "the big bad oni" in my classmates' eyes. All that work at getting them to see me as a person, tossed out the window. For Ami-san's sake, so I considered it a fair trade.
Even Naru-san reacted to that. She turned on her heel to look at me, leaned onto my desk with both hands, and said, "Kindly keep out of this, Robu-san. You and Kino-san still have each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. Everybody else in our lunch club except Aoyama-san has lost their boyfriends one way or another."
When she straightened up, she left three stones on my desk. Small, shiny, clear stones. I wondered what they were, but Naru-san had turned back to Ami-san. "We'll talk more about this after school, Ami-san."
"I have juku after school."
"Then we'll talk about this tomorrow." And she headed back to her own classroom... after quietly dropping three more of the stones on Ami-san's desk.
She passed the teacher coming into the room, which meant classes were starting, which meant we didn't get any curious looks from our classmates for the rest of the day.
On a hunch, I detoured to OSA-P on the way home, where I found Naru-san working behind one of the counters. "I do believe you wanted to speak with me, Osaka-san," I said while dropping the stones onto the counter.
"Yes, and it's about those. That's what's left of half of a new box of sketching sticks. Ami-san has the other half."
"What do these have to do with sketching sticks?"
"Charcoal sketching sticks," she explained.
"Char..." Then the penny dropped. "Carbon. Are these diamonds?"
"Half-carat, uncut and unpolished. Mama says she can cut them into 35-point or 40-point gemstones, and asked where I got them from."
"What did you tell her?"
"I showed her."
"Would you show me, please?" I opened my school bag, pulled my own set of charcoal sticks from it, and arranged all six of them into a neat pile on the counter.
She put her hands over them and started humming a tune that I didn't recognize. Her hands started glowing for a moment, then she stopped the sound and light show. There was a single slightly-dirty stone on the counter where the sketching sticks used to be.
Then her mother came out of the room behind the shop. "Naru, are you... Oh, hello, sir."
"Hello, miss," I bowed. "You must be Osaka-san's older sister; I can see the resemblance. I'm a schoolmate of hers, Rob Donaldson."
"Naru didn't tell me that you're a flatterer, Donaldson-san. I'm her mother, Mayumi. She has told me that you're the person filling in for Tuxedo Kamen while he's away."
I just stared at Naru-san.
"I'm not about to lie to my own mother, Robu-san."
"Nor should you," I admitted somewhat sheepishly. I turned to her mother. "I don't suppose that metahuman powers run in your family, do they?"
"No, they do not," she replied. "Naru's the first to show any ability like this one. We assume it's because she's been targeted by youma so many times that something rubbed off on her." After a moment, she asked, "You aren't going to force my little girl to fight, are you?"
I shook my head. "I won't force her to do anything." Turning to address Naru-san directly, I continued, "Although I will ask that you continue to develop your ability, maybe see whether you can create other gems with it."
"You want me to play with my new power?"
"Sure, why not? Maybe you can make something with it that you can be proud of saying that came from you." Then I had a thought. "Oh, what's this worth?" I gestured to the diamond that Naru had made from my charcoal.
"Nothing," Mayumi replied. "Every jeweler that sells diamonds has a contract with de Beers. You can't sell it to anybody but them, and they won't buy only one stone."
"I see," I sighed.
"But we can cut and mount it for you, if you want. It would probably be around two and a half carats after cutting and polishing."
I thought about it. "Maybe later." I picked up the stone and put it in my pocket. "Thank you for your time, ladies."
I bought a replacement pack of sketching sticks on the way home.
Ami-san dropped by after dinner.
"Rob-san, we need to talk. You, me, and Mako-chan."
"Come on in. Makoto's already here; we were doing homework together."
"Hi, Ami-chan! What's up?"
As Ami-san sat down at my table, she replied, "It's about that note that Ryou-san gave me at the end of our date. He said it might be possible to reverse the brainprinting process."
"How?" From the game rules that I created the character in, the ability was a one-way deal. Then again, the ability also didn't need to take ten minutes under those rules.
"I worked it out over the last two evenings. If you update your brainprint of me, you should get the process."
Makoto grinned. "I won't get jealous of Ami-san."
"Okay," I nodded. "Let's find out how long it takes for me to do an update."
It only took three minutes, and most of that was my power going through Ami-san's brainprint and deciding it already had those parts of her mind.
"I'm going to have to think about this for a moment or two," I said once the process was completed.
While I reviewed Ami-san's thoughts, she helped Makoto with her homework.
I finally decided that I understood Ami-san's process based on Ryou-san's notes. "I think I'm ready."
Makoto was in front of me within two seconds. "Let's give it a try."
The first thing I did was update my brainprint of Makoto. Then I gave the reverse process a try.
After a moment, she squeezed my hand. I stopped as soon as it was safe to do so. "What's wrong?"
"I'm not getting your thoughts. I'm getting my own thoughts back." She sighed.
Ami-san and I sighed as well. "So much for you getting a brainprint of me," I said.
"This could still be useful, though," Ami-san commented. "Especially if one of us gets brainwashed the way Tuxedo Kamen did."
"There is that," Makoto admitted.
Before I could say anything, Makoto's and Ami-san's communicators beeped. "Somebody's robbing OSA-P!"
Makoto had her communicator out first. "Mercury, Oni, and I are on our way!"
We got to the jewelry store just after Sailor Moon. I whispered, "What are you waiting for? Go rescue your friend and we'll complain about you wanting all the glory."
"Oh, right!"
And she headed in just as Venus arrived. "Why aren't we helping?"
"Help that prima donna?" Jupiter asked loudly. "She waited for us to show up and then rushed in just as we got here, as if she was making a point that she didn't need us!"
"What, is she grabbing the spotlight again?" That came from Mars, who was just arriving.
"I'm afraid so," Mercury sighed.
"I'll just have to give her a piece of my mind!" And Mars marched into the store.
"Better be careful, Mars!" Sailor Moon countered. "You don't have that many pieces to give away!"
While the girls fought, I grabbed the would-be thief in a forcefield... making sure she could see and hear everything that was going on, which meant I missed seeing Mars give Moon a kick in the butt.
"That's where you keep your brains!"
While the girls bickered - yes, even Mercury - I asked Mayumi-san, "Ma'am, would you be willing to call the police? I suspect these five aren't going to remember their civic duty for a while."
And suddenly the thief/ninja/youma wasn't in my forcefield any more... or anywhere to be seen in the store. We did hear the front door slam shut, though.
"Never mind, ma'am." And I started a slow clap as I turned to the Senshi. "What a display of teamwork, ladies!"
"She started it!" Mars and Moon shouted in unison while pointing at each other.
"And I'm ending it. Stop acting like kindergarten students. Especially in front of the people we're here to help."
"Excuse me..." Oh, look; it's the papparaza with the '70s wardrobe. Funny how you never see her and that particular thief together. "I'm Asahina Nana. Could I ask you a few questions about what happened here?" And she held her camera as if to take a photo.
I quickly obscured her lens with a forcefield. "No photos. Asahina-san... You wouldn't by any chance have a relative named Mikuru, would you?"
She looked puzzled as she tried and failed to clean her camera lens. "Not as far as I know. Why do you ask?"
"Oh, no reason."
She finally gave up on the camera. "Can I get your thoughts about the Sailor Senshi's behaviour this evening?"
May as well give her something to take back to Kunzite. "I think they should get back to working together, instead of squabbling all the time. They're giving me a headache. And, yes, you may quote me on that."
As she tried to get statements from Moon and Mars, the rest of us slipped away... but not before I saw Naru-san sigh at the two Senshi.
Just before lunch the next day, Naru-san mentioned to Minako-san, Ami-san and me that Asahina-san ambushed her and Usagi-san on their way to school. "We didn't tell her anything, of course."
"Good. Stick to the plan."
Then, as if it had been choreographed and I'll never confirm or deny whether it had been, Usagi-san approached from one side of the courtyard while Makoto and Ichigo-san approached from the other. Bunny-chan and Makoto saw each other, stopped, turned on their heels, and walked away from each other and us.
"That's our cue," I whispered as we all stood up. Ami-san, Minako-san and I went to join Makoto, and Naru-san went to join Usagi-san. Ichigo-san, may the gods bless her, refused to take sides and ate alone.
The Revealing Of The Lunches was a somewhat somber event that day, without Usagi-san present to make it fun. I had hot soup in a thermal bottle.
"That's all you brought?"
"Back home in Canada, we say that chicken noodle soup is good for you when you're ill. Here, it's rice porridge. I split the difference and brought chicken rice soup."
Makoto looked worried. "What's making you ill?"
"This whole mess with Bunny-chan is leaving me sick to my stomach."
Sailor Moon's reputation being smeared by the tabloids. Letter from Sailor Moon to Kunzite, delivered by Usagi-san to Asahina-san. Arrangement of a meeting between Moon and Kunzite. All of which I had nothing to do with. And all according to canon.
I was starting to think that I'd used up all of my ability to change canon on getting a girlfriend.
Stupid genre conventions.
And then came the night of the meeting between Moon and Kunzite.
Unlike in canon, he did not spot the Sailor Senshi watching them... because I was using my powers in a new way. I think I mentioned when I related the first time going invisible that I did that by wrapping a forcefield around myself and using it to manipulate light. This time, I'd wrapped that forcefield around all five of us. It was a tight squeeze. As in, Jupiter and I were physically closer than we'd ever been even when we hugged, Venus was literally draped over my back, and Mercury and Mars were on either side of me and close enough to whisper in my ears. "Now you all know why I don't want a harem," I joked when I made the group of us fade into invisibility an hour before the scheduled meeting time.
Which meant that we saw Asahina-san scouting the area three-quarters of an hour before the meeting. Good thing we were ready before then.
Enough about us. Kunzite wanted the Ginzuishou. Moon wanted to see Tuxedo Kamen first. Again, according to canon.
"What makes you think we'd take you and your followers anywhere near Endymion, Sailor Moon?"
"My followers? What followers? Have you forgotten how they treated me at the Princess Seminar, or in the mountains, or at that skating event with Janelyn and Misha, or on the ski slopes, or at the jewelry store earlier this week?"
He thought for a moment. "The only one of those that I witnessed was the event at the skating rink. But my youma have provided reports about most of the other events you mentioned. Alright, I'll take you to Endymion once you give me the Ginzuishou."
"You get the Ginzuishou after I see Tuxedo Kamen."
Kunzite snapped his fingers. "Oniwabandana." Right, that was youma-Asahina's name. "Take the Ginzuishou from Sailor Moon."
"Yes, sir, banban." And she advanced on Moon.
"Sailor Kick!" Moon knocked Oniwabandana to the ground. "After I see Tuxedo Kamen." Then she was pulled off her feet by the youma.
Moon managed to twist so she landed on top of Oniwabandana, knocking the breath from both of them.
I suddenly had a nasty thought. "Is there any chance they'll get the Ginzuishou from her?" I whispered.
"No," Mars whispered back. "She trusted it to me." And Mars showed me the Moon Stick with the Ginzuishou mounted on it.
"Good." I turned my attention back to the fight.
"And stay down!" I heard Moon announce.
Kunzite came to a decision. "Oh, very well. Oniwabandana! Enough!" The youma nodded and stood up beside her general. "You can keep your precious bauble until you've seen him. Let's go."
"Now?" Moon asked in surprise.
"Yes, now. Unless you don't want to go."
"No, I thought maybe you needed to make some arrangements first. We can go now. Where are we going?"
"To our dimensional teleport nexus." And the three of them were gone.
"Mercury!" I said while dropping our invisibility.
"Already on it!" She was examining the Mercury Computer. "Her communicator just appeared at D-Point."
Of course it did.
"Let's go!" Mars ordered, and three of the Senshi immediately started roof-hopping. Jupiter joined them as soon as she grabbed me in a bridal carry. We caught up to the others quickly.
Halfway there, the Moon Stick suddenly disappeared from Mars' hand. She and I reached the same conclusion at the same time. "Sailor Moon's in trouble!" Mars announced.
"Be ready to fight as soon as we arrive!" I added. "Oniwabandana can do the ninja replication trick!"
True to my instructions, Jupiter dropped me just before we touched down at D-Point and landed on her feet, prepared to launch a Supreme Thunder. I landed on a nice, soft forcefield and quickly got to my feet.
We headed into the ... teleport tunnel, for want of a better name. It looked like it was carved out of living rock, with enough room for us to walk five-abreast and enough headroom even for me to feel comfortable. Obviously it was designed to allow troops of youma to invade whichever city it was pointed at, although it had a few twists and turns which made it impossible to simply launch an attack straight through the tunnel.
We followed the pyrotechnics, only to be blocked by a row of four identical ninja blocking our path.
"Shabon Spray!" The fog cloud engulfed the ninja crowd, making it obvious which three were projections and which one was the real Oniwabandana.
I hit the real one with a forcefield ram, pushing her into the battle between Moon and Kunzite just as Moon was shouting "Moon Healing Escalation!"
Moon's attack hit both Oniwabandana and Kunzite. She shouted "Refresh!" and reverted to being just Asahina Nana.
Kunzite announced "On my honour, I will not say 'Refresh'!"
Time to ignore the use–mention distinction. "Dude, you just said it!"
"What? No, you fool! Not like that!" He was only distracted for a second, but that was enough for Moon's attack to push him to the far wall. I grabbed Asahina-san in a forcefield and got her out of there.
By the time I'd dropped her off at the D-Point end of the teleport tunnel and returned to the battle, Kunzite was alone. "I just banished them, Oni. You're next."
"Oh, they'll be back as soon as they've had a history lesson." And there was a glow behind me.
I got out of the way. Quickly. Moon... no, Serenity's attack still brushed against my sleeve on its way to hitting Kunzite.
I didn't have a sleeve any more. Kunzite... didn't have a body.
And the teleport tunnel started to collapse.
Kunzite was a load-bearing boss? I didn't remember that from the anime, but it made sense from a security standpoint. Stupid genre conventions.
Mercury thought faster than anyone else. She got out her communicator and threw it as far down the tunnel as she could.
Which wasn't quite far enough to clear the tunnel, so I bounced it off a forcefield and made sure it landed in the snow at the Dark Kingdom's end of the tunnel.
Then I grabbed Moon with one arm and Mercury with the other, and we all hightailed it out the Tokyo end of the tunnel just before it collapsed altogether.
We took a few minutes at the Hikawa shrine to catch our breath, eat something, and strategize. Quickly. And with Luna and Artemis in attendance.
"Where are they?" I asked.
"Practically at the North Pole, according to the Navstar satellite array," replied Ami-san.
"Although that could be as much as fifty meters off," I reminded everyone.
Hino-san glared at me for that comment. "We know."
"How do we get there?" asked Artemis.
"We can't all go," Minako-san answered. "Sailor Teleport can only take the five of us. No passengers, not even a cat."
"Let alone two, or an oni. Sorry, Robu-san." Usagi-san did truly look sorry when she said that.
I turned to Luna and Artemis. "There's no way we can go with them?"
The Mau said nothing; they only shook their heads.
Hino-san looked straight at me. "What happened in canon?"
I wasn't about to lie, but I wasn't going to tell them anything that would demoralize them, either. "You waited a week, and they were ready for you."
"Then we don't wait. We leave in fifteen minutes," Usagi-san announced. "If you need to do anything that can't wait, do it now."
It was all too soon. And events had continued just like in canon, except for the death of one person who was never shown in canon, and some minor differences elsewhere, and happening faster. Damn it.
Most of the girls and both of the Mau headed into the Hino residence to take care of whatever they needed to take care of. Makoto didn't go anywhere. Neither, to my surprise, did Ami-san. "Rob-san... could you update your copy of my mind, please?"
"Of course, Ami-san." And I did.
Then I turned to Makoto, who was standing and waiting for me.
We hugged tightly, and kissed passionately - the most passionate kiss I'd ever taken part in. We were reading each other's minds, but neither of us thought anything that could be put into words. It was the most intense moment of my life, and, as I learned later, of her life as well.
Then, and only then, did I update my brainprint of Makoto.
And then I had to let her go. I stopped reading her mind. "Please come back to me, my dearest."
She smiled sadly. We both knew why. All she said was, "Jupiter Power, Make-Up!"
Then she walked over to the other Senshi, already waiting for her in uniform. She held hands with Mercury and Moon, who were already holding hands with Mars and Venus. Moon said it for everyone: "Sailor Teleport!"
And then they were gone.
And then we were gone. Artemis, Luna and I headed for the Crown to use the instruments Artie had there to track our friends the best we could. There would be time tomorrow to repair the flagstones broken by the Sailor Teleport, assuming the Sailor Senshi defeated Beryl and Metaria.
And if they didn't, it wouldn't matter whether anybody repaired the walkway.
By the time we'd started up the systems in the Crown and connected to the Mercury Computer, the Sailor Senshi were already fighting the DD Girls.
"That can't be Oni! We left him behind!"
"Then they grabbed him after we left! I have to save him!"
"Jupiter, no! Look at him!"
"I am looking at him, Mercury! They've been torturing him!"
"When did they have the time? That's not him!"
"I can't take that chance!"
I sat down. Hard. "I could have warned her. I should have warned her. Damn it, Makoto, that's a trap!"
"Can we warn her now?"
I shook my head in reply to Luna. "We're too far apart. And even if we weren't, she has to read my mind; I can't send thoughts to her. Artie?"
"There's no microphone or proper keyboard on this console," Artemis answered. "Our communications are strictly one-way."
"Jupiter!" That was Usagi's voice.
Oh, no.
"Supreme..."
Makoto, no!
"Thunder!"
"FUUUUUCK!!!"
Artemis muted the console game that he was using as a monitor, and turned to face the two of us. "According to the Mercury Computer, Jupiter just went into cardiac arrest."
I stood up, walked over to the nearest wall...
"Rob-san, ..." Artemis started.
... and put my fist through it in one punch.
"... that's drywall, not paper. Too late now."
Luna headed to the front desk. "I'll get the first aid kit."
I suspect I subconsciously had a forcefield up, because I didn't break any bones. The wall wasn't so lucky.
Just as I finished tending to the worst of the damage I'd done to my hand, Artemis' console sounded another alarm. "Not again."
He turned the volume up.
"Look at who they're showing us. It's my turn now."
No, Ami-san. Don't do this.
"And I'd only slow you down anyway."
Gods, no. You're so much more that just a smart girl, Mercury.
"All right, Ami."
No, Usagi-san! Don't let her!
"There must be something wrong with the telemetry," Artemis said. "Mercury couldn't have walked away from the others."
"Oh-yes-she-could-that-genius-idiot!" I wasn't in any mood to be charitable, even to my second-closest... my closest friend.
"I'm so sorry, Ryou-san, Rob-san, Luna-san, ... mother."
"Ami, please, no!" Luna was as anxious as I was.
Then we heard a cracking sound from Artemis's console, followed by static.
Artemis adjusted the controls - which I knew was useless - then announced, "The Mercury Computer has gone offline."
"Damn it damn it DAMN IT! And I tried to make that NOT happen!"
"Rob?"
"She's dead, Artie. Ami is dead! And Minako's bloody well next! Then Hino-sa... Rei." I started to calm down, at least enough to not yell at the only people left in this world who knew what I was. "Then Mamoru. And then, finally, Beryl... but, if everything goes according to canon, she'll merge with Metaria just before she dies. But the Sailor Team's souls will support Usagi for long enough to kill Metaria, but Usagi won't survive the fight either."
"That's a lot of 'but's. Things could change."
I shook my head in sorrow and anger. "No, Artemis, they won't. I've been trying to change things ever since I got here, and Makoto ... Makoto and Ami still died. I couldn't do enough."
"So all of this was for nothing?"
"No, Luna, this was not all for nothing. Usagi makes a dying wish, and she..." The last occupant of Pandora's Box finally made herself known. "Artie, shut everything down! We're leaving now!"
He leapt onto the front desk and hit a big red button. "Where are we going?"
"We're going to my apartment. And thanks for trusting me, Artemis." I grabbed both of the cats in a forcefield and headed for the door.
"What's Usagi's dying wish?" Luna asked as she mentally lowered the arcade's shutter behind us.
"To reset the world, but without the Dark Kingdom in it, so everybody can live a normal life."
Then I was moving at top speed with a forcefield around us to protect against wind friction, so it didn't take long for me to get home. Nobody said anything during the trip.
"That doesn't sound so bad," she finally replied as I unlocked my door.
"In order to have a normal life, they're going to forget everything that happened since the day you met Usagi-san, Luna. Only you and Artemis will remember that they were ever friends."
"That's bad," Artemis commented as I dropped both of the Mau onto my desk.
"Yeah. Be ready for a long night." I got out the futon.
"You can't possibly be able to sleep now, Robu-san."
"No, but I might not have time to get it ready later. The three of us, along with my laptop, are going to be on that futon, surrounded by as many forcefields as I can raise, as soon as we start seeing aurorae in the sky."
"Why?"
I turned to Luna. "Because I am not giving up my memories of Makoto without a fight." Then I saw the doll that Luna was sitting beside. The Sailor Jupiter doll.
And my tears finally started flowing.
I couldn't sacrifice my Sailor Jupiter doll. Or the others, but especially not Makoto. Makoto's doll.
So when the aurorae started, they were right on top of the laptop. Which was right on top of me, with a cat to each side.
And we were sitting on top of no less than five forcefields.
Then it suddenly became bright outside. "It's time!" I raised the edges of all of the forcefields to surround us in nested bubbles.
The shockwave of Usagi's wish went through the wall without damaging it. As it passed over my desk, my homework disappeared, although the printer didn't.
I doubled and redoubled the strength of my forcefields just before the shockwave hit.
The light show near the end of 2001 had nothing on the coruscation set off between Usagi's dying wish running on autopilot and my living willpower boosted (I later learned) by Artemis and Luna. I was recreating forcefields almost as fast as the Ginzuishou was knocking them down.
When the wavefront passed, I was down to one forcefield. But I still had my Makoto doll. And, less importantly, my laptop and the other Sailor Senshi dolls.
And I felt like I'd had my brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.
But I still had my memories, and all three brainprints.
I very carefully moved my laptop off my chest, and onto the floor. "Are you two okay?"
"I'm fine and have all my memories of you, Robu-san," replied Luna.
"And I still remember you, too," Artemis added as he pushed my laptop away from my futon.
"Good, good. But now it's just the three of us who remember the Silver Millennium and the Dark Kingdom," I muttered before falling asleep from exhaustion. Silly me.
Next chapter: Remembering, Romance, and Rough Times for Everybody.
Original text and original characters are copyright © 2022 by Rob Kelk. "Rob Donaldson", "Ichigo Aoyama", "Kichirou Sato", and any representations thereof are copyright by and trademarks of Rob Kelk. Please contact Rob Kelk if you want to use Ichigo Aoyama or Kichirou Sato in your own stories.
Sailor Moon and the characters thereof are copyright © 1991-1997 by Naoko Takeuchi, TOEI Animation, Kodansha, TV Asahi, and their licencees, and are used as allowed under section 29.21 (1) of the Copyright Act of Canada, R.S.C., 1985, c. C-42.
"Atelier Lucent" is an original element based on Sailor Moon. It should not be confused with the real-world "Lucent Atelier" in the USA or "Atelier Lucente" in Italy. The author makes Atelier Lucent available to anyone who might need a name for Sailor Pluto's clothing studio.
Lyrics from "The Other Side of the Wall", by Void_Chords feat. MARU, written by Konnie Aoki, copyright © 2017 Princess Principal Project, are adapted and used as allowed under section 29.21 (1) of the Copyright Act of Canada, R.S.C., 1985, c. C-42.
Quote from Slayers Next, copyright © 1996 by Hajime Kanzaka and his licencees, is used as allowed under section 29.21 (1) of the Copyright Act of Canada, R.S.C., 1985, c. C-42.
Quote from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, copyright © 1975 by Python (Monty) Pictures, is used as allowed under section 29.21 (1) of the Copyright Act of Canada, R.S.C., 1985, c. C-42.
Quotes from The Princess Bride, copyright © 1987 by Act III Communications, Buttercup Films Ltd., and The Princess Bride Ltd., are adapted and used as allowed under section 29.21 (1) of the Copyright Act of Canada, R.S.C., 1985, c. C-42.
Quote from Harry Potter, copyright © 1997-2000, 2003, 2005, 2007 by J. K. Rowling and her licensees, is used as allowed under section 29.21 (1) of the Copyright Act of Canada, R.S.C., 1985, c. C-42.
Lyrics from "Bohemian Rhapsody", by Queen, written by Freddie Mercury, copyright © 1975 by EMI Records and Elektra Records, are used as allowed under section 29.21 (1) of the Copyright Act of Canada, R.S.C., 1985, c. C-42.
Quote from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, copyright © 1978-1980 by Douglas Adams and BBC, is used as allowed under section 29.21 (1) of the Copyright Act of Canada, R.S.C., 1985, c. C-42.
Quotes from Hamlet and Macbeth, both by William Shakespeare, are in the Public Domain.
My thanks to my prereaders, Brent Laabs and Robert M. Schroeck.
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| 2016-09-18: Where the Heart Is |
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Posted by: robkelk - 12-24-2022, 05:58 PM - Forum: Stories
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Yggdrasil
September 18, 2016, Asgard Time
Urd looked over Belldandy's shoulder and gasped. "Bel, are you ''trying'' to make our jobs harder? We really don't need two reality warpers acting against each other as soon as they show up, not with the entire timeline in the state it's in." Then she reached over Belldandy's shoulder and added a command to ensure Drosselmeyer and Fakir would not wake up at the same time. "Take a break; I'll finish up here."
"But..."
"Go! Even Safety wouldn't have made that basic an error. Something's distracting you. You're of no use to anybody else right now."
She went. Grudgingly - there was still so much work that needed to be done - but quietly. Watching her leave, Urd carefully did not add that she was certain what was bothering her sister; it wasn't her place to make that particular comment.
Belldandy eventually found herself at the gate to The Almighty's private garden... which opened of its own accord. "Come in, child."
When you're invited in by The Almighty, you don't refuse. Of course she couldn't see Him; she never could. But she felt comfort in His presence.
"What is troubling you, child?"
"You would know that better than I do, Father." She used the familial term both figuratively and literally.
"I would. I also know that you have a Need to tell someone. It would be best if that someone was not Hild or Hagall."
Belldandy stopped to smell the roses, then replied, "I miss my husband."
"As you should. Morisato Keiichi is a remarkable mortal, worthy of your love. And both he and his sister would be a good influence on both the people you have been sending to New Jersey and the people who will meet them upon their arrival. You have My permission to bring to Somerset your husband, his sister, his employer, and the person who directly followed him as the chair of his school's Motor Club."
Belldandy wondered at that list. It was obvious that Keiichi was being allowed to join her for her own sake, and Megumi was included for Keiichi's sake, but why were Chihiro and Sora on the list?
"Their presence will become necessary. Their effect will be subtle, but necessary for the well-being of others."
She idly wondered why she even bothered saying anything while she was in this garden.
"You need to experience what it is like to speak in the presence of One who is more powerful than you, so that you can empathize with the mortals who you encounter while granting their wishes."
Belldandy realized that she still had much to learn about being a Goddess First Class, if she needed to be told such a simple thing as that. "Thank you, Father."
"Go, child, and do what you must."
She bowed and returned to her duty station at Yggdrasil, stopping only to prepare to visit Earth once she had carried out her instructions.
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
September 18, 2016
11:07 am ET
Keiichi stepped out of Whirlwind's small office for a breath of fresh air, only to discover himself some place he didn't recognize. He quickly turned around, only to discover he was in an empty lot... and his sister was standing where he expected to see the door he had just stepped through. She was standing beside two motorcycles: his BMW, with the sidecar, was parked beside her KSR.
"What's going on?" they asked at the same time.
"That's a good question," he heard Chihiro ask from behind him.
Turning to look at his boss, who was standing where he was certain nobody had been standing a few seconds ago, Keiichi saw that Hasegawa-san was standing beside her. "Morisato-sempai! Where are we?"
"I don't know..." he started, then trailed off as the mirror that he'd mounted on his sidecar back when he was dating began to glow. "But I think we're about to find out."
Sure enough, Belldandy emerged from the mirror and hovered just above the ground (making Keiichi look shorter that he actually was). "I'm sorry that I couldn't warn you, but I didn't have very much time."
Sora Hasegawa was less able to take odd occurrences in stride than the others were. "Belldandy-sempai... How are you... What's... Who are you?" she asked, her voice squeaking even more than usual.
She stepped down from the air to the ground, then smiled at her bespeckled bespectacled friend. "We've told you that in the past, Sora-san. I'm a goddess."
"I thought that was a metaphor... You're really..." As she saw Keiichi nod in reply, Sora asked Belldandy, "Should I bow?"
"Only if you want to," Belldandy replied. "I would prefer to have you as a friend, though, not as a worshipper." She looked at Chihiro and Megumi, and added, "That is also how I would prefer to think of both of you, as well."
Megumi looked at Belldandy, then looked sideways at her brother. "This is just crazy enough to be true. Kei, how long have you known?"
"Since I met her. And I'm sorry that I tried to keep the truth from you."
"You'd better be sorry!" After a quick beat, Megumi added, "And you'd better tell me the truth: Was I dreaming a couple of years ago, or was I really turned into a car?"
"That wasn't a dream, Megumi-san," Belldandy replied.
Chihiro looked surprised. "Turned into a car?"
Before anyone else could answer, Keiichi said, "That story can wait. Bel, where are we?"
"You're in another world. There was, to sum up quickly, an incident. This is Somerset, about an hour's drive from New York City. Here's a map." The blonde goddess pulled a sheet of paper from a pocket that wasn't there a moment ago and wasn't there after the sheet was in her hand. Pointing to the end of a line drawn on the map, she continued, "We're here right now. There's a residential complex called Douglass Gardens here -" she pointed at the other end of the line "- and the people there will be able to help you adjust to your time here. I'm sorry that I can't stay - I have to get back to work."
And she dove into the mirror and disappeared.
Nobody said anything for a moment. Finally, Chihiro said, "Okay, that happened. What do we do now?"
For the first time since they had arrived in New Jersey, Keiichi knew the answer to one of his companions' questions. "We go to Douglass Gardens and ask for their help. Who's riding double with Megumi and who's riding in my sidecar?"
"I'm not riding in a sidecar," Chihiro insisted. Sora didn't complain.
As the members of Whirlwind drove their bikes out of the lot and turned toward Douglass Gardens, a half-dozen bikes - most with female riders, one with a male driver - passed them going the other way. Chihiro grinned and yelled, "Looks like this might be a good town to set up shop in!"
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| 2016-09-11: Strange Tides |
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Posted by: Labster - 12-23-2022, 04:04 PM - Forum: Stories
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1. Lumenis Labyrinthus
Neo Venezia, Neo Adriatic Sea (former Kasei Valles)
Aqua Calendar 76, Month 6, Sol 8 (June 9, 2303 A.D.)
16:33
Single undine Akari Mizunashi had spent all afternoon wandering through the paths, waterways, and islands of Neo-Venezia. She had retraced her steps through five of the mysteries of the city, places where the boundary to the spirit world was open, and she was returning to the sixth. The whole day was spent in pursuit of the seventh mystery, a larger-than-life black cat spirit, Cat Sìth.
Cat Sìth was the patron of Neo-Venezia, and someone who Akari had met several times before, but was still very much a mystery to her. Taller and larger than her, the giant cat spirit was always kind to Akari, even if he was a little bit fey. So she had taken this day to row across the city, searching high and low, President Aria her only companion.
As they were walking back up the alley where the Stone of Misfortune lay, the white tomcat plopped down on his butt and scratched behind his ears. He had a pretty big head, so there was a lot of space to scratch. But Akari continued on to her goal.
The svelte young woman in her white and blue undine's uniform stared down at the Stone one more time. It was a chunk of dirty limestone, a little out of place among the basalt paving stones of the alleyway. Akari still felt that there was some power in this place, even though she had been here earlier today without incident. So she decided to take a chance with this mystery and risk its supposed curse once again.
Akari hopped on the Stone of Misfortune one final time, her long pink twintails bouncing right behind. And everything was still normal.
"Of course, nothing happened," she mumbled. "Still kind of a letdown, though." It's just a wide stone on the walkway, Alice had told her that. But she somehow expected something more.
And then, sticking out of the crack in the stones at her feet, an envelope caught Akari's attention. She bent down and picked it up. The envelope had no writing on the outside, but was adorned by a stylized cat's pawprint embossed in gold. And inside?
Seven tickets for the Galaxy Express. One for each wonder of Neo-Venezia she had encountered. Akari's jaw dropped all the way open, staring blankly at the treasure she held. "Whoa. He really came – Cat Sìth!"
"Nyu!"
She read the tickets, "Wednesday morning, 3AM. That's tomorrow night. President Aria, let's go invite everyone else!"
"Punyuu," Aria agreed.
By the following evening, Akari was able to gather her friends and ostensible traveling companions to a trattoria. All six were dressed in the uniforms of an undine: a long, slender white dress, with short sleeves for summer, a square sailor collar in the back, and a bow. But they were slightly different: Akari and Alicia's dresses had the ultramarine lines of Aria Company, Aika and Akira's raiment had the amaranth markings and bow of Himeya, and the orange pattern on Alice and Athena's clothes was the trademark of Orange Planet. The seventh traveller, President Aria, wore only an Aria company sailor's cap, a smaller version of the one worn by his coworkers. For cats, every day is No Pants Day.
They sat on the patio outside the restaurant, on a warm spring night. While the undines carboloaded on tonight's special, a shrimp pasta, the one with a long blonde French braid spoke up. "I think this is all rather exciting, don't you? A train trip to the stars," Alicia Florence said.
"Yeah. My trainee never gets me anything, and yours gets me a magical train ride. Where did I go wrong in my teaching?" Akira Ferrari moaned. The tallest of all of the women here assembled, her long dark chestnut hair framed her fair face.
Said trainee was a little more skeptical. "So let me get this straight. You want us to use these strange tickets you got at the Stone of Misfortune." Wearing a sly smile, Aika pointed her fork towards Akari. "Aren't you just spreading your bad luck to all of us?"
"But the Stone wasn't unlucky at all. At first it seemed unlucky, because I couldn't find Cat Sìth anywhere. But as I revisited each place, I saw its beauty and felt the happy memories wash over me. I think I learned that misfortune turns into good luck if you just look hard enough!"
"Embarrassing comments are forbidden!"
"She's right, you know." Akira rebuked her trainee. "Luck is a big part of success, but you can work hard and make your own luck."
"That may be so, but I still think this is inviting disaster."
"Hoheee," Akari intoned.
Aika Grantchester, a girl with short hair so dark that the reflected light of the trattoria's lamps made it indigo, still wasn't satisfied. Aika asked, "Well, what do you think, Alice? Don't you think it's risky?"
The green haired teenager replied, "I think someone is playing a practical joke on all of you. I'm mainly going to see how stupid we look trying to catch a phantom train in the dead the night."
"Awww, don't be like that," Akari complained as her let her body go limp.
As usual, Athena Glory didn't have much to say. She just stared across the canal, imagining what a Galaxy Express might be like. Real or not, her imagination of a space-faring train seemed sweet enough to savor. The dusky-skinned woman absently picked up a shrimp with her fork – and it promptly slid off onto the stone of the campo below. Athena's annoyed frown came back again.
President Aria, on the other hand, employed the ten second rule outside as well as inside, and helped himself to a shrimp. Waving his tail, he decided that misfortune for some people can be fortune for others.
Calle Schiaparelli
A.C. 76, Month 6, Sol 10
02:40
It was a quiet night in Neo Venezia, as they usually were. The lights of the city dim in the wee hours, leaving the city to be lit by starlight, with a little help from Phobos as it flowed across the Aquatic sky.
The city seemed a bit more sinister than in the daytime, as if in another world from the daytime. The canals looked as black as the night sky above, and the lion statues seemed just a little more predatory than in the day.
Six undines strolled through the streets of this city, led by a white cat with striking blue eyes. President Aria was wearing a tall, cylindrical fur toque – which for his size was essentially an elongated pillbox hat – and a matching cloak of sable with a pair of pompons hanging from the tie. He made no sound, as appropriate on a mission such as this. The same could not be said of his human companions, who tended to be a noisy bunch without even realizing it.
"It's so quiet," Aika whispered.
Alice added, "Maybe too quiet. Like... it's unnaturally still."
Aika shivered. "Scary remarks are forbidden." Then from behind them came the sound of a sudden crash. "Gaah what was that?"
Athena picked herself off the ground, and dusted off her dress. "Sorry, it's really dark, I didn't see that stone."
"Ara ara." Alicia waited a moment before commenting, "You know, this is still the same city you all know. It's just at late night Neo Venezia wears a different face. But to really know a person or a place, you need to see all sides of it. Good and bad, sweet and scary, and know that they are one and the same."
The party of undines turned onto one calle, and then onto another, as they journeyed closer to the edge of the city. Walking past red-roofed stone buildings, and across arched bridges, they never even got close to lost in the dim light. Each of them knew the waterways of the city like the back of their hands. But Akira had memorized every alley and campo of her city too, so it was she who lead them through Venetian streets at their most serene hour.
They pushed past the rail station, which was closed for the night, and pressed further outward. Finally, they arrived at the place where the train tracks entered the city, at the edge of the Ponte della Libertà.
"This is too late to be out." Alice Carroll yawned.
Athena replied with a sympathetic yawn.
Akari, on the other hand, had a gleeful grin. She was almost shaking with excitement.
"And... nothing's happening." Aika noted.
"I'm sure magical trains are very punctual, Aika." Alicia noted. "Let's just wait and find out."
They stood in the narrow street near the steel tracks, waiting for 3AM to arrive. The first thing they noticed was a dim light down the length of the bridge, and then the subtle sound of a train rolling across the tracks.
Suddenly, it seemed like the train was right on top of them. A steam locomotive rolled into the street, swiftly followed by a coal car and six wooden passenger cars.
Akari said, "Wow, this is a bigger train than last time!" Indeed, it barely fit in the street; perhaps this time was a special service? She shivered in anticipation.
Alice wondered where on Earth they had gotten the mineral coal for the coal car, because there sure wasn't any on Aqua. She had learned that much last Christmas, when she had put a lump of charcoal in her own stocking. "It's really the Galaxy Express," she concluded.
Suddenly, the empty street was filled with all manner of cats, queued up to ride the train. A burly conductor in a blue uniform, his face completely shaded by his railroad cap, began looking over everyone's tickets and admitting everyone on the train.
Alicia warned, "It looks like we had better get in line if we want a seat. I didn't know your Galaxy Express would be so popular."
Everyone had a ticket in mouth or hand this time, so the line to ride the train moved quickly. Akari proudly showed her ticket to the imposing conductor, gave a big grin to her friend, and jumped aboard. All the other humans moved aboard a little more gingerly – something about the conductor didn't seem quite right, and he was quite large, so they decided they had better be polite.
What they found on board was just as otherworldly. For a train that could supposedly sail the stars, the decor looked positively antique, with wooden furniture and two-pane sliding windows on the walls. Its passenger cars had green upholstered bench seats on each side of the aisle, like something out of the golden age of rail travel.
Moreover, it was a train full of cats: Persian and Martian, Mau and Manx. Some playful, some stretched out sleeping on the upholstery, some sitting pretty as they watched the odd humans in their midst. Others rubbing against each other in greeting. One even carried a sausage in its jaws, a late-night snack for the commute.
The undines were able to find a set of seats across from each other, so that everyone could see each other. Actually, a pair of gingers were already in one of the seats, but they simply hopped up to the luggage rack above and curled up there.
"You finally got to meet him!" Akari declared.
"Meet who?" Alice asked.
"Cat Sìth, of course!" Blank stares. "You know, the conductor."
"That was him?"
"He didn't look like a cat," Aika reasoned. "Actually, did he even have a face?"
"Don't worry, you'll see," Akari assured her friends. And then the train's engine started up again. The slow groan of the first few cranks of the wheels turned into a growl as the locomotive lurched to life.
The Galaxy Express proceeded out of its makeshift station backwards, with the locomotive pushing from behind – Venice being a terminal station. It cruised along the Ponte della Libertà at a slow pace, before coming to a soft halt a couple kilometers out of the city.
Changing directions, the locomotive began pulling the train from the front. The train soon switched tracks in the middle of the bridge, turning off the side of the bridge onto an little-used set of tracks. The train dropped down to the waterline, and set off to the southwest. The Galaxy Express skimmed the surface of the lagoon, running on rails just below the surface of the water. A long cloud of spray thrown off the wheels glittered in the city light. And still the train accelerated.
Finally, as the train roared across the water at 88 miles per hour, Engine C6250 blew its whistle, and the train lurched into the sky.
"Ara ara ara!" said Alicia with delight.
The rest of the undines left it at that, for there were no words that could capture the experience better.
The train pulled onward and upward, rushing through the Aquatic sky. It rushed past the Kasei Lagoon and farmland of the Sacra Mensa, and rushed above the deep darkness of the trees of the Silva Arsia.
"Look, that's Noctis City!"
"So that must be Nieuw Amsterdam, right there." Aika pointed.
"I've never been so high before. Amazing."
"I landed on Aqua in the daytime," Akari said, "but the night is beautiful too."
And still the Galaxy Express climbed skyward, gaining speed. After a few more minutes, the disc of Aqua started to resolve below them, with a crescent of light off to the east. The train soared seventy kilometers over Aqua, far above the stratosphere, and was still climbing.
Alicia gazed out the window to the world below. "From up here, everything seems so small, doesn't it. Everything in our lives, it's all down there in those few lights."
"It's like we get to leave our whole world behind," said Akira, "just for a night."
"Like a beautiful dream." Athena's yawn fogged the window, as it was terribly late for her, but she was riveted nonetheless.
The train started rattling a bit, and then rolled quickly from side-to-side. Alice was nearly rocked off her seat, but Athena quickly pulled her back to her seat. The bulk of the feline passengers tossed from their seats landed on their feet – the few exceptions fell over, but then put on an expression as if they had always intended to fall over.
Outside, it almost looked like the train had gone into a tunnel, as impossible as that would be. Then the scene through the windows radiated brilliant light, with streaks of reds, greens, blues, and oranges dancing around the train. The ride smoothed, and everyone inside stared at the spectacle, felines included.
"So many colors, so pretty!" Akari had been a fan of colors and shapes since she was an infant, but not many shows were as good as this one.
The train swerved left, then right, then left through the passage. After two minutes, the lights faded as quickly as they came, as the train exited the tunnel. No one was surprised at the jolt running through the train this time, as it exited back to normal space.
Out the window lay a planet, this one done up in the same whites and blues as Aqua. But a little less orange, and a little more yellow and green. Akari blurted, "Ohmigosh, it's Manhome! I thought I would never see her again."
"Your planet looks beautiful too, Akari." Alicia gave her an innocent smile.
"More beautiful than I remembered."
Had she remembered a little better, she might have noticed a few things were different on planet Earth, like the rather conspicuous absence of Lake Qattara.
The locomotive's engine slowed, letting the train start coasting down towards the planet below. The Galaxy Express veered west-by-northwest, crossing Asia Minor in just a few minutes and heading into the Balkans.
"Is that Italia?" Alice asked. "That's a boot, right?"
"Yes. And there's where old Venezia used to be, before she sunk beneath the waves." Akira pointed towards the northern Adriatic, on Italy's east coast. From this altitude, it was impossible for the naked eye to see that she was pointing at Venice, very much not submerged.
They descended further and further into the twilight. Soon, they were afforded a view of the City of Lights just before the early morning washed out the lights below. And still they descended, crossing the English Channel and above the island of Britain. By this time, they could make out the outlines of roads and villages by the pattern the lights formed below.
"It looks like we're landing. Where are we landing, Akari?" Alicia asked.
"Um what was that place called again?"
"Oh come on, you're our Manhome expert." Aika chided. "What kind of tour guide are you?"
"Oh right!" Akari hit her fist against the seat. "It's called Wales. It's like part of England or something."
"Eh?" wondered Alice.
"Um... Further ahead, you can see the Atlantic Ocean. It's Manhome's second biggest ocean, and home to Neo Atlantis. It has the world's longest mountain chain, the Mid-Ocean Ridge, which you can't see because it's dark. And under water a really long way." Akari sighed. An undine was supposed to be unflappable in any situation, but this situation was maybe a little too far out.
"Brava, Akari." Alicia giggled.
The train dipped down towards a dimmer region of the Welsh countryside, in a rugged land with mountains and lakes below. Finally, the Galaxy Express veered a hard left, lining itself up with the train tracks below. It gingerly approached the ground. And then a series of clangs rang out throughout the train with small bumps to the passengers as it touched wheel to rail.
Having landed in a straight spot, the 999 acted as a normal train, leading them through the twists and turns of a 10 minute ride through the twilit countryside. Finally the train began to slow, and all of its passengers began to stir, even those who had been cat napping.
The train came to a stop at a simple rail platform, and almost immediately, the feline passengers began leaping for the ground. Clear black letters on a white sign declared the name of the village: "ULTHAR".
Beyond the short wooden covered walkway was a small station building, barely larger than a small cottage. The building of flat fieldstone was completely empty at this hour; the only staff on hand was the feline stationmaster, a tabby named Beatrice.
"Well, we've come all this way. Shall we go out and explore?" Akira asked.
"Sure!" Akari stood up, dusting the cat hair off her dress. "I've never been anywhere as far away as Wales before!"
Aika just gave her a strange look for that remark.
They joined the flow of cats jumping out the doors, but somehow ended up as the last passengers to exit anyway.
"What a cute village!" said Akari, looking down towards a collection of cottages on the banks of a lake.
"Hey, look at that." Alice pointed to a wooden sign cut into the shape of a cat, which read "Welcome to Ulthar, City of Cats".
"Wow, how cool," Alicia said. "No wonder we ended up here." They started walking up the platform towards the station house to explore the town. Then the steam engine came back to life, and everyone suddenly stopped.
"Wait, we can't get left behind!" Akari raced back to the train, followed by the rest of her friends. But the conductor stepped out, hand spread out to block her reboarding. "We still have our tickets," she cried.
The conductor shrugged, then removed his cap. Appearing underneath it was a large black cat face, with pink ears and golden slitted eyes.
"Cat Sìth!" Aika stopped in her tracks. The others did too, not sure how to react to such an august presence.
Akari pleaded, "We can't board? Did we break the rules?"
The large cat shook his head in the negative.
"Why can't we go home?"
Cat Sìth looked at Akari with a sad face. And then he scooped her up with his massive paws, and gave her a warm embrace.
"I understand. We can't go back, can we?"
"Can't go back?" Aika yelped.
"Will I see you again?"
Cat Sìth answered with a feline smile – and then gave Akari a giant lick on her face.
"Nyuuuuu…" Aria was stunned.
The sound of the train whistle brought him to his senses again, by which time, Cat Sìth was already aboard the train. The steam engine started revving up.
"Good-bye! Until next time!" Akari waved vigorously. Alicia joined her with a regal wave, which caused Akira to wave goodbye as well.
They all stood there for a moment alongside the tracks, until Akari finally asked the obvious question. "So, what do we do now?"
"Alicia, your trainee got us stuck on another planet. Perhaps you need to review your teaching methods," Akira accused.
"Ara ara ara," replied a flustered Alicia.
"I got this. This is all totally a dream. All we need to do is wake up all at the same time," Aika explained. "Okay, wake up on the count of one, two, three!" Aika pinched herself and her neighbor.
"Ow, why did you pinch me!?" Alice grumbled.
"You looked like you need to wake up the most."
Athena yawned again.
"She's the one you needed to pinch!"
"Ok, one, two, three!" Aika pinched both Athena and Alice this time with a sly smile.
"Stop that!"
Beatrice walked over to the humans, and rubbed her body against Akari. This caused a bit of a stir below knee-level until Aria got acquainted with her.
The humans were getting hopelessly lost at her station lately, so she led them behind the train station towards the village. The tabby with a little blue cap stopped as soon as they all reached the main road.
"So... we just wait here?" Alicia asked Beatrice.
"Mew."
A minute later, they heard the low roar of a car engine approaching. A long black limousine pulled up to the station, and a tall Englishman with coal-black hair stepped out. They would have no trouble understanding him; as they worked in the tourism industry, all of the undines spoke English quite well.
"I apologize for my tardiness, but traffic on the M25 was absolute Hell," he said with a sardonic smile. "Allow me to introduce myself; I am Sebastian, butler to the Earl Phantomhive. Welcome to Earth."
"Earth?" Akira was incredulous, "It hasn't been called that since..."
"Ah, quite. I also welcome you to the year 2016." He took a minute to savor the women's shock, then continued. "Seeing as you all are so recently arrived, may I extend my lord's invitation and offer the hospitality of Phantomhive Manor?"
Sebastian cut quite a striking figure in his dapper suit and tie – modern of course, as a proper suit with tails attracted too much attention in this day and age. Akari found him attractive to look at, but somehow, in a way she didn't understand, there was something repulsive about him too. He had only shown kindness, but she felt something nonetheless.
Sebastian in return assessed the party of six undines with his practiced grace, but raised an eyebrow at Akari, as if he had seen something interesting. "As of late, many people have been arriving as you have done, through space-time anomalies, and my lord is one of those empowered by the Crown to accommodate new Arrivals. I assure you, nothing will happen to you that will demean the honor of the Phantomhive name."
"You got beds?" Alice let out a long yawn, her tiredness finally winning the war against her excitement.
"But of course. Please, enter the limousine, and I will convey you all to the manor. The path which you must take has been prepared for you."
They all entered the back of the limousine: Alicia graciously, Athena ungracefully, Akari warily, Alice sleepily, with Aika and Akira both distracted by the hot guy. Sebastian revved the motor, and sped away.
Phantomhive Manor, Kent County, England
Sunday, September 11, 2016
2:02 PM BST
Sebastian brought a tray of tea to this sextet of women with strange hair colors and odd dress-like uniforms. That description would cover a lot of the Arrivals he had been meeting lately, but for this time, it was fortunately the most unusual thing about the women in the drawing room. Well, that and the Mars thing, but a human is still a human. Their relative normalcy would make the next step much easier, so he had room to improvise.
Pouring a cup, he asked the freshly-rested undines, "I realize that you all are a very long way away from home, but do you have any idea where on Earth where you'd like to settle?"
Akari thought about her history, and realized that if it was the 21st century, it might still exist. "We want to go to Venice," she said in a matter of fact tone. "We are undines, the water is our life blood, the gondola, our second home. Venice is where our hearts will sing."
"Embarrassing remarks are forbidden", chided Aika.
"Ara ara ara." The tall blonde woman, Alicia, was impressed at her charge's speech. "Yes, I do believe that we would all flourish in the canals of Venice."
Akira added, "Right. Give a prima undine a gondola and she can make it for sure."
"I believe that can be arranged. Well, ladies, I thank you for bearing with all of my intrusive questions. I shall do my best to find appropriate accommodation for you all. I assure you, I will find you one Hell of a place to live."
"Don't mention it," Alicia said sweetly. "I appreciate all of your help."
After taking his leave, Sebastian called the real estate agent, and told them they needed another place, this time in Venice. No, not Venezia; his clients were quite clear in requesting Venice, he confirmed with a toothy smile.
The agent immediately began looking for an apartment building near Venice, California. Sure, Snapchat was buying all of the real estate there now, but this Lord Phantomhive guy was loaded, so he thought he'd be able to find a decent building anyway.
2. The Martian Invasion
Venice Beach, California, USA
Monday, September 12, 2016
9:09 AM PDT
Yay, the first day at work! I didn't think years of university would lead to job as an apartment manager. But just because the job isn't what I expected doesn't mean it's not worth doing. And who knows, maybe some cute ronin from room five will fall in love with me, like in Maison Ikkoku. Heh, I wish.
I drove up to the property in Venice Beach, and parked in the ground floor parking lot. The property was actually really close to the beach, maybe just a couple minute's walk way. Nice. I walked under the building to the small elevator, and waited for it to arrive.
It was a small elevator, and slow. Curiously, the floors were marked ⓪①②③, like a European elevator. I've long been convinced that all elevators must take the same amount of time to go from the top to the bottom of the building, regardless of how tall the building is. Union rules or something. This one sure wasn't breaking the pattern.
When the elevator opened up, I was greeted by a Hispanic man, about my age and height, gathering up a few loose tools in the hall.
I wasted no time greeting him, "Hi, I'm Brent."
"Jorge. Nice to meet you."
"So, what's going on here? Looks like a major remodel."
"That was what was happening, until your guy bought the property. I'm just picking up the rest of the stuff before the next job."
"Wait, I've got tenants coming tomorrow. How many rooms are ready?"
He scratched his head. "Just the four over here," Jorge gestured to the north set of apartments on the first floor. "Avoid the south side, that still has some major plumbing problems."
Well, I thought my management account balance seemed a little too high for just running a place. "Oh boy. Please tell me you're available to continue fixing this place up."
"Sorry, man. I'm just maintenance for the Angeles Property Management company. I'll email you the general contractor we used, though. Might speed things along."
"Thanks. You're a lifesaver."
He gathered a few leftover things in the building's storage, and I received the big box o' keys which granted me dominion over my new realm. We shook hands, said goodbye.
And then I started exploring. Master key in hand, I looked over each one twenty-four apartments. The first floor apartments Jorge claimed were ready, 1 to 4, all looked to be in pretty good shape. A bit of blue painter's tape on the windows, but nothing too bad. Working appliances. I selected apartment 1 for myself, because I might as well get the extra view. And I'm not a fan of having a window to the east, since it wakes me up way too early. But an extra window to the west is just dandy.
As I made my way through the rest of the rooms, things were a little worse. Old, run-down appliances on the top floor, and no appliances at all on the middle floor. A cracked window in apartment 24. Down on the first floor in apartment 7, the wall was down to the studs and a damp, moldy smell pervaded the room. I cracked open a window – there was nothing in here to steal anyway. Whoever bought this building for immediate housing had sure found a hell of a place.
Right below my room, on the ground floor, was a small room which held a few old garden tools. Under room 4, the next corner was a small storage room, mostly used by spiders at this point. A bit of an anticlimax for the grand tour, but at least I had rooms for the people coming tomorrow. The rest of the open space on the floor was devoted to parking cars.
From the outside of the apartment building, you could see three sets of blue balconies on each floor, with an extra-long semi-shared balcony for the middle rooms split in the middle by short walls. The north side faced a former street, but was now just a grass-lined walkway that led straight to the beach. This "front" side had a brick facade – and only a facade, because this is Southern California, not some geologically stable place where you can actually use bricks architecturally. However, all three of the other sides were a stucco painted an exciting beige. Even the south-side balconies were coated in a chipped beige paint. That's gonna have to be fixed. The beach climate is nice, but it's sure hard on buildings.
I looked over my instruction sheet to see what I had to get ready. Wait, I had to provide a furnished apartment by tomorrow? I got that this was supposed to be housing for fictional characters, but even then they can't sit on fictional chairs. I had to get moving. I unloaded my truck as fast as possible, and dragged the boxes into my room.
I proceeded to make for the nearest IKEA as fast as I could, while of course obeying all posted speed limits. Haha, just kidding about that last part. I passed a Costco on the way out – that was going to be useful, but mail-order mattresses are just not going to cut it for tomorrow.
Once my truck and I filled up on furniture and Swedish meatballs, respectively, we made our way back to the apartment. The fun part of IKEA, of course, is the assembly. The mattresses would be delivered tomorrow morning, but in the meantime I had six HEMNESes to put together. The good news is that after one assembles a couple of them, one has it down pat. The rest of the beds fell together pretty fast, and with the final twist of an Allen wrench, I made my way back to the room I had chosen.
It was already dark, but I was able to at least start unboxing a few of my things. I set up my own bed, finally, and just about collapsed on it. I guessed a few minutes rest wouldn't hurt. And the next thing I knew, it was morning.
I woke up, dredged a shampoo bottle out of my box of toiletries, and dragged myself to the shower. I had to pick up my first residents at LAX at 10:15, and it was already 9:40. It was a good thing the airport was so close, or otherwise I'd've been in hot water already. Hotter water than this shower, anyway. That's what happens with water heaters that don't get used, I reminded myself.
I finished getting dressed and headed downstairs toward my truck. I checked email on my phone, and it looked like I finally got a list of resident profiles from Funtom. Sweet, at least now I'll know who I'm looking for, I thought.
I was just about to read it, when a long black limousine pulled up to the complex. Six young women exited the vehicle, along with a white cat. Oh boy, cats. I hadn't thought about that much during the hiring process, but I'd always been really allergic to cats. Like, full nosebleed after a few minutes in the same room. I hoped I was not going to find myself unable to do the job on just the second day at work.
That train of thought got interrupted when I glanced up to the girls. "Wait a sec... those dresses..." They were all dressed like the characters from an anime called Aria. It was like an almost perfect cosplay – actually a little too perfect. I adjusted my glasses, but it didn't change my assessment.
As the limo driver removed their meager travelling bags from the trunk of their car, I stepped forward to meet them all.
The tall blonde approached me first, and gave me the once over. I was 33 years old, an inch over six foot, and more than an inch overweight. I had hair somewhere between brown and dirty blonde, and a couple inches of red sideburns on each side. I wore shorts and a Hawaiian shirt emblazoned with hibiscus flowers, perfect for this warm, sunny autumn day.
She greeted me cheerfully, "Good morning, I assume you're our new apartment manager?"
"Sure am! I'm Brent Laabs, nice to meet you."
"I'm Alicia Florence."
"I noticed, but who are you really?" I asked the cosplayer.
She giggled, following up with, "Prima Undine Alicia Florence of Neo Venezia. Some call me Snow White, but really I'm simply Alicia. Thank you for taking us in!"
"Oh boy." For some things, the only proper response is the Sam Beckett one, and this was definitely one of those moments. These were definitely not cosplayers. They were all too in character – Aika's energetic motion, Alice with her unamused face, Alicia's grace, Akira's lovely charm, Akari's open-mouthed stare, and Athena's easy strength with the luggage. And oops, she dropped a bag. Their big blue-eyed cat tried dragging the duffel, to no avail. Yeah, I knew every one of these people straight from the television screen. These were somehow, someway, the real thing.
And why would the Powers That Be send me cosplayers from another universe, anyway? I had been told what to expect, by both an an angel and a reaper, no less, and it was still just the weirdest feeling to be standing in front of a cartoon character (but in 3-D). Well, I could roll with that. No matter how strange it felt, I still had a job to do.
Snapping out of my reverie, I heard Akari tell the man in the limo, "Thank you so much for the ride!"
"No, it was my pleasure." The driver was probably about age 20, a tall skinny white kid with short brown hair.
I was supposed to pick them up, so I offered, "Did you need money for the fare?"
"Don't worry about it. I have a free hour because of a late flight, and I got to spend it with these ladies. That's payment enough." He reached inside, and pulled out a card that he handed to Akari. "If you ever need a ride somewhere, let me know, okay?"
Akari got a big smile on her face, her pink lips just about reaching her pink hair. "Thanks again, Mr. Driver!"
I introduced myself to the rest of my new tenants. They introduced themselves to me, too, but that step was just perfunctory, because I already knew who they were. I wouldn't have to memorize new names, and I already had an idea of what they'd want as tenants. Which made everything so much easier on me, because I'm honestly not great with names and faces.
Akira approached me, and brought up the most pressing desire of these women, "Thanks for your hospitality, but I think there's been a mixup up in our arrangements. We wanted to go to Venezia in Italia, and we got sent to Venice in California."
"Oh that's…" I had to suppress my laugh, because that was really the wrong signal to send right now. "That's really too bad. I think I can understand why you'd rather be there." Since they were all gondoliers in their story, set in a replica of Venezia on Mars, that was an easy assumption. "I'll tell you what. Let me send an email to my boss, and let me see if I can get it straightened out for you."
At about this time, a truck pulled up into our alley, bearing the blue and yellow branding of Ikea. "Good news everyone," I announced, "it looks like your mattresses are here, so you have something to sleep on."
"Good. That flight was too loooong!" Alice yawned.
Once I directed the delivery men on where to take the mattresses, I gathered the gondoliers, and we walked up the stairs to the first floor.
"Sorry, I wish I had more time to get your rooms settled and nice, but I just started work yesterday. Since there are only four livable apartments, and I'm in one of them, you'll have to take three right here. There are two bedrooms in each one, so I think you should have enough privacy.
"Meh. I guess that's an upgrade. C'mon, Athena, let's take this one."
"Mmm," Athena agreed.
Aika stepped up to the blonde, her hands clasped together, "Alicia, would you —"
She was cut short by her teacher, Akari, grabbing her by the ear. "No betraying Himeya by fraternizing with a rival company!"
Alicia smiled with her left hand on her cheek. "Ara ara ara."
And so room assignments went entirely predictably. The gondoliers of Aria Company took the larger number 4 on the corner, likely because everyone was going to visit them anyway. And because technically, three people would be living there.
Wearing a uniform with blue markings were Alicia Florence: cute, fair, placid, and bearing a long blonde braid. Her junior Akari Mizunashi, a native of Japan and protagonist of Aria possessed pink twintails an energetic demeanor. And the last tenant was President Aria, the bulky white tomcat with lucky blue eyes. This constituted the entire staff of Aria Company, the smallest of Neo Venezia's gondola companies.
Apartment 3 went to the undines of Himeya, Akira E. Ferrari and Aika S. Grantchester. They wore white dresses with dark red highlights and a small cap. Akira was tall, dark, and handsome, with long chestnut brown hair and fair skin. Slightly shorter than her senpai, Aika's short raven hair framed a pleasant round face with a near permanent smile.
Finally, No. 2 was occupied by the Orange Planet team, still wearing their uniforms stroked with an orange pattern. Leading the group was the dusky-skinned, silver-haired Athena Glory. The teenage green-haired rowing prodigy, Alice Carroll, was relatively stoked to be upgrading her relationship with Athena from roommates to flatmates, despite her low-key manner.
Just great, I thought, all names beginning with "A". That's gonna be confusing to remember, even if I do recognize all of these anime characters. All these people. That's going to take a while to get used to, being real people and not characters. Sheesh. Will wonders ever cease?
I walked into each room as they were throwing the sheets on their beds, and handed out keys to my new tenants. Hopefully, not for long, because they really would be more happy in Italy. I sent an email to the company about resettlement, and hoped for the best.
I spent the time getting utilities sorted for each apartment, moving over accounts. I assumed that we'd be needing to pay for everyone's Internet, which is cheaper anyway. And now, I just had to sort out what to do with six anime girls, a somewhat thornier proposition. Thankfully, it turned out that they were mostly able to sort out themselves.
The first to wake was Akira, who still looked a little groggy when she knocked on my door in the early afternoon. "Oh, hi. I thought you'd be asleep for a lot longer."
"Just following the advice we always give our customers: Sleep only three hours after your flight, and then you won't have jet lag the next day."
"Oh, I didn't know that. Thanks. Well, come on in."
She entered, and sat down in my computer chair – not that I had many choices of where to sit, yet. "Any news on Venezia?"
My computer was set up, but there was no internet hookup yet, and wouldn't be until Friday. So I pulled up my phone, and saw this email:
Quote:We're deeply sorry, but Funtom Property Management cannot provide resettlement services to Venezia. Housing Arrivals there would be prohibitively expensive at this point. Your residents specifically asked for Venice, and that is what we took great pains to provide to them. Perhaps you can advise your residents to be careful what they wish for.
Sebastian Michaelis
COO, Funtom Property Management
"Man, what a dick," I whined. "Looks like you all are stuck here." I handed my phone to Akira.
She read the device. "What the hell did you say to him?" she glowered at me.
I scrolled up to my own email.
"Huh. He seemed so charming in person."
"Yeah. I'll give you that much."
"All the best guys are total jerks," Akira concluded.
I thought about this logic and shrugged; that only earned me another angry face. Risky had been right in my job interview – even when working on a divine calling, shit flowed downhill. But I was still around mostly pleasant, attractive women, so I wasn't about to kill myself over it. (Sorry, Risky.)
Aika peeked through my apartment's open door, took a look at Akira's glare, and started backing away stealthily. Not stealthily enough.
"Aika!" Akira growled.
"Yes!"
"Go round up everyone else."
She scooted off as fast as she could, and soon I could faintly hear her knocking on the other apartment doors.
Akira, for her part, mainly grumbled to herself for the next five minutes, leaning onto the hand against her chin. She asked me a few questions about whether I had enough money to buy them all necessities, clothing, and furniture, which I answered in the affirmative. The budget might not be able to afford the kind of rococo stuff they had in Neo Venezia, but it would do.
Thinking about my budget, I noticed I also got a reply on my other question from yesterday – it looks like the former and now renewed general contractor would have a crew back to work on Monday. It looked like my company could be a little heartless, but at least they were efficient. I would, of course, direct the improvements.
Aika strolled back into the apartment, this time accompanied by Alicia and Akari. A minute later Athena led Alice in by the hand. Alice still had droopy eyes, and her hair was something of a green tangle.
Alice yawned. "This place is terrible. I can't even find the bidet!"
Akari picked up, "Oh right, I was wondering about the bidets, Mr. Manager!"
"Uhm…. Americans uh…" I stumbled.
"Hey, listen up!" Saved by Akira, whose face had just now shifted towards a calm smile. "Our apartment manager, Brent, has confirmed to me that we are not going to be able to move to Venezia. But we should have plenty of time and money to make this place comfortable. And from there, we can work our way towards moving to Italia. Or whatever we want to do with our lives.
"Sorry about that, everyone. I guess you're all stuck with me," I apologized.
Akari automatically offered, "Please take good care of us, Mr. Manager!"
"I'll try my best!"
Aika asked, "How are we supposed to work? As undines?"
Athena piped up, "Are there even canals here?"
I fielded this one, "A few canals, but not really… not really the same as in Venice in Italy. In Venezia."
"Well, that's worth a try. I wonder if there's any competition?" Alicia said sweetly.
I just shrugged.
"Feh, like any competition stands a chance against the three Water Fairies of Neo Venezia!" Aika boasted.
"She's got you there," Akira told Alicia, who just giggled.
I interjected, "Wait, let's step back a sec: how are you even going to get a gondola here?"
"Oh, that's no problem. Mr. Butler said that he would send us gondolas, as soon as he can buy them," Akari elucidated. I made a mental note to figure out who Mr. Butler was, and thank him for being such a nice guy.
"Ok, that's really nice." I followed up with, "Can I ask how you got here? You seem like you're a long way from home."
Akari said, "I know, you don't meet time travelers every day."
"You're time travelers?" I asked. So that's what the story is? "We're time travelers" is probably the worst cover story they could think of – unless they actually believed it?
The girls looked around at each other with tilted eyebrows, not sure what to say. Alice eventually got frustrated that no one was answering, and decided to respond, calmly, "We were all undines in Neo Venezia, on the planet Aqua. So, Akari was going around the city looking for a mega cat, but instead she got seven tickets for the Galaxy Express. And then this mega train came into the city in the middle of the night, and we rode on it into the sky along with all the cats. Then all these lights appeared in outer space, and the train took a mega jolt and I almost fell over. We landed on Earth after that, and then the mega cat spirit Cat Sìth told Akari that we had to stay here."
The longer Alice's story went on, the more nervous Aika looked. Perhaps the others were trepidatious too, but Aika always wears her heart on her sleeve. And if the story was bullshit, she would have performed tsukkomi on Alice by now, if the manga was right. "Wow, that sounds really exciting. Well, I hope Cat Sìth was right, and you all enjoy yourselves in our time."
Aika breathed a sigh of relief at not being judged a crazy person. "I'm glad you understand our situation. Does it happen all the time or something? People from another planet?"
"Not as far as I know. But I'm pretty sure I can believe you all."
Alice remarked, "Maybe you should be a little more skeptical."
"Hoheee?" Akari uttered.
Alicia laughed. "It all sounds like a good long-term plan, Akira. But the first thing we need is —" She paused; everyone else filled the silence:
"Groceries"
"Clothing"
"Music"
"Toiletries"
"Make-up"
"I was going to say lunch."
Alicia's idea won out, even though the other needs were great too. After insisting that they try out the local cuisine, we walked to a Mexican restaurant on the beach. Walking with six people in white uniform dresses with geometric colored lines made me feel a little bit like a cult leader. I suppose my Hawaiian shirt and shorts would probably dissuade most people of that idea. But hey, Venice is a weird town anyway – why not just embrace the weirdness, or so I thought.
We ordered an assortment of tacos, enchiladas, chile rellenos, and tamales, and munched on some chips and salsa while the meal was being prepared.
Alice warned, "I think this salsa has soap in it."
"Oh, that's the cilantro. The green stuff." I had a bite. "Yep, definitely."
"What are you guys talking about? It doesn't taste like soap at all," Aika said.
"It does to me," Alicia said.
"Really?"
"It's a genetic thing," I explained, "Some of us just taste the world differently."
"Ah!"
"You'll get used to it if you eat enough Mexican food around here. I still don't like the taste, but I'm used to it."
Alice enjoyed the rest of her food, but she did pick all of the cilantro off of her pastor tacos.
After that, it was off to the mall. I had to make two trips, because there was no way I can fit seven people in my truck. I worried a bit about introducing these women to our ancient fashion trends and archaic products, but they took to shopping like a duck takes to water. They handled everything from groceries to clothing with ease, with only the occasional question about what something did.
Except with me doing all of the buying. In that way, I suppose it was like most of the other times I took women shopping. At least this time I had a company card to expense everything to. I started rifling through all of the receipts, trying to get a sense of how much money we spent.
Alicia noticed me with her deep blue eyes. "Are we going over budget?"
"I don't think so. I've just got to keep track of everything."
"I see. Would you like some help with that? I run a business, or well, I used to run one."
"That would really help out. I accept your kind offer of assistance."
The receipt pile only got worse by as the afternoon rolled into the evening – as did my attention span for shopping – but I held my stiff upper lip and carried on, what what. By the end of the evening, the girls had all doffed their work uniforms in favor of outfits they had bought:
Athena wore a simple white shirt and a killer pair of skinny jeans. A brown-skinned beauty like her didn't need to do that much to be gorgeous.
Alice had assembled a schoolgirl chic style, with a green plaid skirt, yellow blouse, and matching jacket. Sadly, there were no knee-high stockings, and no, I'm definitely not checking out sixteen-year olds.
Akira wore a modern dress, sleeveless with broad black shoulder straps on top. It had wide vertical black and white stripes descending from below the bust to knee level. She definitely had the most fashion sense of this crew.
Alicia had donned a sundress with a sunflower print and an open neckline. Around her neck she wore a gold chain with a small locket, but I'm pretty sure that was new, and not yet a keepsake.
Aika's image was somewhat less wholesome than that, with a bright red spaghetti-strap top just short enough to show a bit of midriff. I suppose it's always appropriate for Italians to wear spaghetti straps, right? Below that was a set of torn blue jeans of the sort that costs at least ten dollars per rip, held up by a red vinyl belt.
Her friend Akari wore a frilly, baby blue blouse with a navy blue pleated skirt, white socks, and sneakers. Nothing too fancy, but the colors were the perfect compliment to her pink hair.
And finally, President Aria wore a child-sized Panama hat with a white band.
Accompanying these women, I no longer looked like the leader of the Undine Cult, but I did look like the luckiest guy around. Of course, looks wouldn't tell you I had spent the last few hours shopping for clothes, pretending to like clothes shopping. I decided I had to find out if my company offered hazard pay for circumstances such as these.
I seem to have avoided at least one hazard, though – I had spent a lot of time around Aria, and hadn't had any kind of allergic episode. I'm not sure if Mars cats are different, or it's because he never seems to lick himself, but he never triggered my cat allergy.
As we loaded the back of my white pickup with bags and bags from boutiques and department stores, Athena cried, "Oh my God!", and pointed towards the eastern sky.
Everyone glanced upwards, and we saw the nearly full moon hovering above the city lights. "The Moon is mega!" Alice observed.
Alicia said, "And it's lighting up everything!"
"Mmm-hmmmm!" Akari beamed. "I missed you, Mr. Moon!"
"So you see the Man in the Moon? I would have put you down for the rabbit making mochi."
"Mr. Manager, I can see both!"
The native Aquans were all still staring at the sky, transfixed by the floating white orb in the sky.
"I think they're moonstruck."
"So am I. It feels so familiar, but so strange." Akari paused, then added, "I'm glad I got to share this feeling of wonder with my friends. It feels good to be back."
Alice warned, "The Moon is like mega giant! Is that even safe?"
3. Hacking Things Together
Venice Beach, California, USA
Thursday, September 15, 2016
11:30 AM PT
While the undines had vivid memories of their first week on Earth in the 21st century, the week passed in a blur for me. There was just too much to do, getting people set up for an entirely new living quarters and an entirely new life.
To their credit, the undines were real troopers. It helped that they had previously lived in something of a 16th century living history park, Neo Venezia, and they weren't averse to doing things the hard way. No matter how "mega primitive" Alice thought something was, that observation was usually the end of the complaint. After all, they had spent a lot of their everyday lives helping travelers, and Akari herself had made the journey from Manhome to Earth with no more than a backpack and small box of personal possessions.
The company budget that had seemed so large at first was rapidly flowing away on buying things. So many things. Cell phones so they could call for help if needed. Furniture, toiletries, electronics, pans, and cooking utensils. We started out with paper plates and plastic cups, just to give them a chance to find tableware they liked later on. Of course, they all had expensive tastes.
I had gotten estimates back on fixing up the remainder of the property from the general contractor, and that was going to eat up an even larger share of the budget. While we were fine right now, I could imagine that in the long term, it was going to be unsustainable. At least we could all use my parent's Netflix account together to save money, right?
We could now actually do that, because the internet had been hooked up – a day early even. I must have been blessed by the angel Safety, desu no. Fortunately for us, they had already run fiber into the building, from those utility poles lining the alley, and it was just a matter of the phone company turning it on. While the network hadn't been run through the whole building yet – probably one of the many reasons the building was under remodel – it was wired up to the first floor.
While the girls were out exploring the city on foot, I drove over to the nearest Fry's Electronics for a couple of wifi routers and some patch cable. This particular store had a tiki theme, with giant, angry-looking heads, bamboo torch lighting, and shelves full of computer peripherals. Given that I was housing Martian invaders, I should have gone to the Fry's in Burbank with the B-movie theme and a flying saucer crashed into the entrance, but Manhattan Beach was a lot closer.
I could imagine Akari's reaction to seeing moai in a store. Alice and Athena would copy the stern expressions. At some future point, I needed to bring everyone by here to pick up a few things. They definitely needed some kitchen appliances, probably a television or two, and whatever else caught their interest.
But that just brought up my next problem: my truck was really not a great way of getting around for seven people at a time, with its tiny bench back seat where even Akari and Alice had to squeeze to fit in. What we needed was a van, something that could seat all of us – at least until we got more residents. L.A. is such a car city that you just need wheels to make it anywhere, and Uber was not a long-term solution. And those annoying-ass electric scooters parked everywhere were definitely not a solution, either.
When I returned, I set up a pair of wireless routers for the first floor. It was not a well-designed system and I'm sure there were dead spots, but all we had at this point were a few residents on smartphones, and myself. I'd grow the network properly when we had a reason to do so, but the stopgap worked for the time being.
When I attached my own computer to our basic-but-functional network, I decided to write an email to my boss, Sebastian, about whether the apartment's budget could support getting a vehicle, and when we might be getting more residents. About an hour later, I got back a short reply:
Quote:Mr Laabs,
I'm afraid I cannot tell you when new residents will arrive, as that rather depends on circumstances outside of our control. I urge you to get additional units ready for occupancy as soon as is practicable, as more displacees may need accommodations at short notice.
In terms of your budget, it is entirely within your remit to purchase such items for the benefit of the company or the residents as you see appropriate. If your budget proves insufficient, might I suggest charging rent?
Sebastian Michaelis,
COO, Funtom Property Management
Wow. So, I was really on my own here. Just like I had done before, working from home, and in graduate school before that. Just with a lot more money around. I wondered if I could just, you know, run off with the cash? What would Sebastian do, find a demon or something to track me down? I doubted he even knew demons. And even if he did, I was pretty sure I could escape the likes of Risky.
Not that I would actually steal the money. At the very least, I couldn't do that to my lovely and talented residents, who were depending on me to keep things together. Living with real life anime girls sounded a lot more fun than a life on the lam, hiding out in Latin American ranchos and fancy island hotels but never staying long enough to make a friend.
Anyway, I heard a friendly voice calling from the hall, "We're back, Mr. Manager!" That must be Akari, I thought.
"Yo Brent!" Aika added.
From the sound of the chatter, all of the undines were back from their stroll around town. Apparently they had found some Thai food, and were still deciding which curry was best. I hopped up out of my chair and went to invite them in for a talk. But as soon as I reached the office door, Alicia preempted, "Brent, can you please bring your toolbox by our room?"
"Ah, sure." I could see they were all loaded up with a few shopping bags, so I wasn't going to get them right away. "Hey all, could I get everyone to drop by Alicia's place in a few minutes? I have some updates for you."
After a few affirmatives, I went back and grabbed my tools. It wasn't a very extensive set, just a few tools I had collected from college, along with a few odd pieces I found in storage downstairs, but it was plenty for this task.
I went to the other end of the hall, and stepped into the open door of apartment 4. Alicia said, "Thanks for coming Brent. Can you help us hang some curtains?"
"Sure!" I thought about it as I started shuffling through my kit for some drywall anchors, then snarked, "I would have figured you were more into Venetian blinds."
Akari giggled, "We're into both, silly!"
By the time the other girls arrived, I was standing up on a dining chair and Akari was on another one, both part of a set they had scrounged up at a local antique store, which was glad to reclaim the floor space. Of the four other chairs we weren't using, one was a bit wobbly and the other one had a missing dowel in the seat back, but as a set they still were still handmade and strong. And not the industrial, flatpacked furniture that none of the undines seemed to care for, especially so for Akari.
Anyway, as Akari and I stood atop these chairs, we were both holding up a curtain rod to be centered at Alicia's direction. Soon after she arrived, Akira took over bossing us around, to ensure that the curtains were mounted to her high standard of quality. After a few adjustments, probably back to where Alicia originally had us holding it, I made a quick mark on the wall before passing the pencil to Akari.
Still standing up on the wooden chair, I said, "I have a few announcements for you all."
Akira, her task done, said, "You have the floor."
"Actually I'm up here and you have the floor."
Alice huffed; Aika said, "Dad jokes are forbidden!" I think at least Akari liked it, but she too didn't have the floor.
As I got down off the chair – I was taller than everyone in this very small crowd, anyway, I told announced, "First off, I set up a wireless internet network for the apartment, which should be a little bit faster than relying on the wider network." I walked them through to the settings. I told them, "The network name is "Pokoteng", and the password is 'swordfish1!', that's digit 1 and exclamation mark at the end. Don't want to make it too easy to guess, after all."
"Punyuu!" Aria Pokoteng approved.
"Cool, that's out of the way. Next: I'm going to buy a van for you all, so that more of us can go places together."
"Sounds great," cheered Alicia, who wasn't really enjoying the attention she got on the bus.
"Just what I've always wanted," Alice deadpanned.
Akari corrected, "It's not your van, silly."
I reasoned, "I guess it doesn't make much difference if I give it to you or not – most of this stuff is going to be left over when you leave back to your own world, and just go back to the company." Something about these people from Funtom made me pretty sure that they would see a purchase for the residents, regifted to me at the end, as embezzlement. If they're delegating so much authority to me, they must be pretty sure of their accounting process. "But if I give it to you all, does anyone know how to drive a car?"
"Uh yeah, you just get in and enter the address into the screen." Aika gave me her best "no duh" look.
"I can't get one of those. I mean the kind where you steer and pedal the brake. Can anyone do that?"
"That sounds really hard~." Akari's face went blank.
"Can't you get a better car?" Aika asked.
"Uh, we don't actually have those yet. We'll probably get those in ten years or so. But for now, all self-driving cars are prototypes." Or, no better than prototypes, in any case.
"None of us know how to drive a manual," Akira said. I assumed she meant automatics too; that's centuries of semantic drift for you. "Can't we just get around by train and boat?"
"Well, Los Angeles is to cars as Venice is to gondolas. This is the city that fell in love with cars. So if you want to get anywhere in a reasonable amount of time, you'll need to drive, or take a bus or taxi."
"This century is mega stupid," remarked Alice.
"I heard that. So if anyone wants to learn how to drive, I'd be happy to teach them."
For a moment, they were mumbling to each other, until Athena stepped up, "Brent, I think I would like to learn."
"Great! We'll set up a time."
Alice asked, "Can I drive my van too?"
"Actually, you're too young to get a license to drive. So you can own it, but not drive it."
"But gondolas are okay?"
"Of course."
"What a strange place this is."
"Actually that brings up one more thing about your age." I explained, "Alice here is only fifteen years old, which means that she needs to be in school."
"Can't I skip it? I was just about to graduate from middle school."
"The law here is that you have to go to school until you turn eighteen."
"This century is mega stupid." Alice scowled.
"Yeah, I thought you might say that, so I looked into it. If you have a job – like for a gondola company – you can get away with only four hours of school a week. It's called 'continuation school'. The school year just started a couple of weeks ago. You can probably catch up no problem, Alice. Just uh, try not to mention "this century" or history that hasn't happened yet. Don't want you to be the Mysterious Transfer Student."
She rolled her eyes at me.
"With that attitude, I think you'll fit in with American teenagers just fine," I deadpanned.
"Wait a second, aren't you still seventeen, Akari?" Aika asked.
"Hehehe, only for a few months more. I'm getting an early birthday!" Indeed, while her birthday was coming up at the end of January, she had just skipped three months in the move between worlds.
Aika stood up, and walked over behind Alicia and Akira. "OK, I'm going to go be with my fellow adults over here."
"Awwww." Akari waved goodbye meekly.
"Actually, you're old enough that you can take the high school equivalency test and skip school. It sounds hard, but it's actually super easy, probably the same level as a high school entrance exam. But uh, how's your American history?"
"Ano..."
"When did the United States become a country?"
"Eto, the Meiji era?" Akari tried.
"Oy vey," I said. "You'll need a little help there."
"Eh? Am I undereducated?"
"Tragically so," Aika quipped.
"Eeeehhh?"
"Don't worry about it," I reassured her. "My grandmother never finished middle school, and she's one of the smartest people I know. But if you want a job that doesn't involve rowing a gondola, you might want to consider more education. Santa Monica College is really close, and doesn't have admission requirements. So all of you adults like Aika can start taking classes there in the winter, if you choose. Maybe some business classes would be helpful?"
"Hmmm, interesting." Alicia was obviously considering the idea.
"They have music classes too, Athena."
Her eyes perked up at that idea. "Ah."
"And if any of you need help, I can tutor you. I've tutored in math up to calculus, general chemistry, physics, English – and also meteorology, intro-level astronomy, and sociology."
"Whoa." Akari was clearly impressed.
"Why are you even here? Can't you get a real job?" Akia teased.
I squinted back, "A wise man once said, 'It's the economy, stupid.'"
Alicia wanted to clear things up, "Speaking of a job, would there be any restrictions on Akari and Alice being employed at their age?"
"No, not in California. Tons of child actors here, and they're almost adults." I wasn't about to bring up Sebastian's suggestion of charging rent – not just yet, anyway – but it did allow me to broach the subject. "If you get bored of lounging around here or want to buy something special, it's okay if you look for a job. Oh, and don't forget to take your Social Security card with you, just in case you get hired."
"My what now?"
"Social Security card. It should be one of the documents you were given."
"What documents? We didn't get documents."
Oh great, I thought, I have six undocumented immigrants. Perhaps "illegal alien" actually works better for five of the six, except for Akari, who was born on Earth. But then I realized, "Wait, you flew in. How did you get through customs at the airport?"
"We have passports." Akari hopped down from her chair, and jogged around the corner into her room. A moment later, she dashed out with a little burgundy-colored folding book in her hand.
"These are British passports," I said, a bit surprised. "What, are you here on tourist visas?"
Alice remarked, "We weren't planning on staying on Manhome, you know."
"Right. Well," I stumbled through, "One more thing to straighten out for you. Alright, that's it from me for now."
With the announcements over, the first thing I straightened out for them was Alicia's curtains. A few quick drill holes later, I mounted the curtain rods. When the fabric was hung, the whole apartment felt a little more lived-in. What a difference curtains make to make a place more homey. The work had felt interminable over the week, but things like that made it really feel like we had made some progress in making a home.
I sauntered back to my room, and dashed off a pithy reply to Sebastian's email:
Quote:How would the residents pay rent if they can't get jobs? They're here on tourist visas.
I left out the line about Alicia only having one spare kidney to sell, since I was starting to worry he might take it literally.
This time, it took a couple of hours to get a reply, but when I finally did, it was not from Sebastian, but from his boss, a CEO inexplicably named Ciel Phantomhive. What kind of name is that, anyway? Of course, this is from the country with such places as Shrewsbury, Gorebridge, Upper Slaughter, and Craven Arms, so maybe weirdness is relative.
This is also when I realized that Funtom, as in Funtom Toy Company, was a pun on Phantomhive, just in a "you know, it's for kids" variant. And they decided to just roll with that for a property management company too, because why not? It could be worse, I decided; I could be working for the massive corporation known as Bimbo Bakeries.
In any case, I finally read the letter, which contained:
CEO Ciel Phantomhive Wrote:I apologize for the mixup. We do expect displacees to be able to engage in similar activities to they did at home during their stay here. Because of your residents' unusual way of entering into this universe, it seems no documents were prepared to make their arrival official, and Sebastian chose to solve the immediate problem.
As we have a few problems on our plate right now, I've asked one of your fellow property managers to contact you via the managers' forum and resolve this little problem. You should be hearing from him shortly.
Best of luck,
Phantomhive
It turned out Risky was right: the little guys like us were going to be the ones that dealt with the big screw-ups up top. At least, that's how it felt at the time.
While I was aware that there was a online forum for managers, I hadn't even given it a look prior to this letter. Partially because there was so much to do, partially because I didn't have proper internet set up and I would have had to read it on the phone, and partially due to my introverted tendencies I just ignored it for the first week. I hadn't even thought of it as a potential source of help.
I took this opportunity to look it over, and holy shit, they all had other fictional characters in their complexes. Not ordinary folks like mine, but big guns like Sailor freaking Moon and Nanoha "White Devil" Takamachi. Seven folks from the cast of Tenchi Muyo had shown up in Canada, which was more than enough to cause an interplanetary incident. Honestly, I was already starting to suspect them of having started this dimensional crisis. This was when I started to worry that I was in way over my head here.
On the other hand, the tenants from planet Aqua were pretty normal, all said and done. It could be worse. If I was working Garnett's job in Vancouver, I might find myself inexplicably falling in love with Tenchi Masaki. She claims she's not interested, but I give her about another week before she joins the harem. The lady doth protest too much.
I started to wonder what would happen with the six young women in my care. Another harem, perhaps? I mean, so far they all had shown zero romantic interest in me, except perhaps President Aria – and since I was allergic to cats that was a no-go.
Yeah, I actually worried about falling into a harem, because all of the other questions I could ask at that time were more worrisome: who's really in charge of the multiverse? Why are these people showing up in our universe? If they can come here, what's the nature of reality? Or even of writing? Was the moon landing a myth, but also real because it was on TV?
And honestly, what on Earth was I going to tell my tenants? I still didn't really understand how they got here, or when they could get home. I didn't even know where to start. They claimed to have accidentally emigrated on a magical space train; even going that far, would they even believe what I had to say about alternate dimensions?
All of this started to seem plain crazy. What the other people were writing on the apartment forum sounded like some made-up story or just crazy rantings. It all seems crazy, until you're staring Akari Mizunashi in the face.
Which, of course, I was unintentionally doing. Akari just came over to my room beseeching help. "Can you help me connect my laptop to the wireless network?" She pulled out her laptop, a small titanium gray device, its keycaps marked with both Latin letters and hiragana. It had a screen shaped like an elongated hexagon, which made me wonder a bit about how to design a hexagonal UI. But hey, not to worry if the monitor ran out of space, because a small holographic projector above the screen projected a couple of extra windows above. In short, future tech.
That said, interfaces didn't seem to have evolved too much in the past hundred years... and the command line was bash-compatible. Now that, I can work with. I fiddled around with the settings a bit, as Akari watched nervously behind me. Eventually, I found my problem, looking at the wireless driver settings.
"802.11wt?" I stated, as if I had said '802.11 WTF' instead.
"It's no good?"
"I think your laptop is maybe too advanced for, well, everything. Let me ask some of my friends if they can figure out what's going on here."
"Will that work?"
"With computers, all you need is enough time and you can solve any problem." Well, I hoped. Didn't I see someone making a voice call to Earth in Aria? I hoped the laptop's wifi used ordinary EM spectrum, and not something dumb like tachyons.
In any case, it looked like I had a use for this apartment managers' forum after all. I made two threads there to start out. The first was a basic introduction of myself, my special abilities (I'm the fastest pun in the West), and the residents at my beachside apartment. This was a little strange too, because I already knew half of the managers from before I was hired. A lot of them had been hired from the forum want ad, apparently, as part of some ineffable divine purpose, which meant the first reply from Bob Schroeck was: "Oh, you're here too. Welcome!" Which was followed up a quarter hour later by Rob Donaldson in Ottawa: "So they roped you into this too, did they?"
My second forum post was about Akari's specific issue, on how to connect her future laptop to modern-day equipment. It was a wild gamble, but there were certainly a wide variety of exceptional folks to choose from. I got a few replies back, and a couple offers of help. An account simply named 'Sysadmin' replied, "That sounds really interesting! I wish I had time to help, but wishes have been pretty hard to get these days." There wasn't much information about the account, except that the user avatar was a logo of a red mallet. It couldn't be Skuld herself, could it? I guess, but I use random anime images for my avatar, too.
Within the hour I got a private message from Kestrel:
Kestrel Wrote:Hello Labster,
The boss told me that we need to get some documents straightened out for your residents. I have a little bit of setup still to do, so can we set up a Skype tomorrow morning? And make sure all your residents are around for the following hour or so.
After a bit of back and forth, I was able to inform him that I was not going to be around for the East Coast morning, and 10 AM on the West Coast would have to do.
Friday, September 16, 2016
10:01 AM PT
The next morning, I was up bright and early to do the video call. You know, relatively speaking. Although in the weeks following, I found myself keeping earlier hours to deal with the contractors working in the upper floors. But today, ten was early enough to take the call from my fellow manager.
"Good morning." I introduced myself, "I'm Brent Laabs, Labster on the forum."
"Good afternoon," he replied. "Kestrel here. Nice to meet you, Labster."
"You too." The guy didn't give me a normal name, but seemed to be one of those guys who went by his login name everywhere. That didn't seem too weird to me, since I've gone to programming conferences where everyone calls each other by their IRC nickname at least half of the time. Everyone has the right to choose their own identity.
One look at him at the other end of the call was enough to remind me of those technical conferences, anyway. The guy looked like Hackerman, with a beard and a set of thin-rimmed glasses. Oh, and the trenchcoat he was wearing indoors. A dangerous member of the Trenchcoat Mafia, this one was. From appearance alone, I guessed that this man had ways of getting government documents.
"The weather must be nice there," he said conversationally. He must have noticed my Aloha shirt with a print of a large wave crashing on a tropical island. Our sartorial tastes are different, yes, but certainly of the same oeuvre of non-conventional hacker fashion.
"It sure is. Sunny Southern California, perfect every day, except the foggy days. And the windy ones. I guess it's a bit chilly in – where are you?"
"Boston. It was pretty nice a week ago, but summer's definitely on the way out."
"So, I hear you can help us with out little identity card problem."
"I believe I can, yes. I hope you don't mind if I use your residents as guinea pigs, do you? I have a resident here who I think can help you out."
"Wait, I thought Garnett had Washuu-chan?"
"Heh. Actually, I was hoping to let HAL 9000 have a trial run as our case worker."
I was a little taken off-guard. "Glowing red light, kills astronauts, that HAL?"
"It isn't really his fault. I've looked at his files, and he was adhering to his mission the best he could. His orders for the secret mission even overrode crew safety. The people behind that mission are the real monsters."
I adapted the old conservative adage, "Programs don't kill people, programmers do?"
"Pretty much. HAL isn't really "alive" in the same sense as some of my other residents. Well, actually, sometimes he kind of is, he just has trouble understanding the difference between morals and directives. He knows what he is told, just not why."
"Sounds like a little kid, then."
"Yeah," Kestrel reflected, "maybe he is. A kid with a supercomputer full of knowledge."
"Just don't put him in charge of making paperclips, okay?"
"Not a chance," he declared. "But I think he should be able to help update a few government databases. He is a NASA employee after all." I laughed, and Kestrel continued, "I've changed his mission to helping the dimensional displacees fit into the new world."
"Ah, that sounds cool!"
"So I'm just going to bring HAL into the call, and observe everything he does. If it works out, he might be available for everyone to use."
"Sounds good."
Another voice joined the call, "Good morning, Manager Brent Laabs. I am HAL 9000."
"Good morning. Oh, and I pronounce the name like the word labs, with a flat 'A', though I don't mind however you want to say it."
"No, that is fine. I have updated the records, Mr. Laabs," he changed his pronunciation. "May I call you Brent?"
"Of course, HAL. I have some residents here at my house who were not given the proper documentation to live and work in this country, and I'm afraid they might be here for some time."
The artificial intelligence offered in his typically friendly, conversational tone, "I can help you with that problem, Brent." However, the video camera Kestrel had set up on HAL's red light was ever so slightly unnerving. If I had my choice, I'd prefer my AIs to look like CLAMP's persocoms.
"I expect you can help."
"Can you tell me the name of the fiction that they appeared in?"
"Yeah, it's an anime called Aria. There's a manga called Aria too, but the first part of it was called Aqua."
"I have obtained it... processing... done. A fascinating story. How many dimensional displacees from Aria reside there?"
"Six."
"Akari Mizunashi, Alicia Florence, Aika Granzchesta, Alice Carroll, Akira Ferrari, and Athena Glory: is this correct?" That was pretty cool. HAL must have guessed their names based on the characters who appeared most in the story.
"That is correct. Oh, actually, seven. I always forget the Martian cat."
"Okay, I'll add Aria Pototeng to the list, Brent."
"That's it."
"Is it possible for me to interview each of them to see what documentation they need?"
"Of course, HAL. Let me go fetch them."
And so I did. I won't bore you with the details, which were a lot of repeated questions for each person, but basically involved making a dossier for each of them. The highlight of this is when Aika wondered how in the hell HAL had gotten a last name of "Granzchesta" for her, and that, "Weird surnames are forbidden." HAL was more than happy to update her records to "Grantchester," while Akari tried somewhat unsuccessfully to explain that the weird surname kind of made sense if you knew Japanese.
Oh, and HAL was somehow able to make sense of President Aria's "punyuu" noises. AI sure is amazing.
At the end of the call, HAL explained that he had "corrected" the relevant government databases (AI sure is amazing) to provide documentation for each of them. They were now all natural-born American citizens, and he provided birth certificates and Social Security Numbers without us even having to prompt him to create those records.
Further, he made passports for them, to account for their cover story that they lived abroad in Italy. The passport pictures came from photo captures of the video call, where he had selected the best frames automatically. Not that it was hard to make one of these girls look pretty, but still a nicer experience than I'd ever gotten at the actual Department of Motor Vehicles or the Social Security Administration. Everything would be mailed to us shortly from official sources.
At the end, Kestrel came back on the line, "Hi HAL. I need to talk to Brent alone for a while."
"Understood, Kestrel."
"Bye HAL, thanks for helping!" I said.
"It was good to be of service, Brent." He disconnected immediately afterward.
"I think that went pretty well," I said.
"The same from my end. Everything looked pretty above-board, or at least as above-board as you can get for 'correcting' government databases," Kestrel said dryly.
"Oh, right, one more thing," I said in my best Steve Jobs impression, "Athena got a driver's license just by asking, and I didn't actually teach her to drive yet. I'm going to! We were planning on it."
Kestrel sighed a little bit, then started typing. He then read off his screen, "HAL says that in canon, she has experience operating non-aerospace vehicles up to 10 meters in length."
I broke out laughing. "They're boats, HAL! Gondolas!"
"Oh, man," he chuckled. "He's a little too trusting. I had to get him out of the room with SHODAN just to keep her from trying to get him to trick me."
"Oy. You have some interesting, uh, tenants."
"Tell me about it. But at least it's not having to deal with people all day, you know?"
"I guess," I said. I wasn't a huge fan of people either, but I definitely wouldn't prefer the company of homicidal programs. "I'm pretty happy with my girls. Whatever floats your boat, right?"
Kestrel teased me, "I mean, if you like people so much, we can fix the record and make Athena get helped by people at the DMV?"
"Well, I mean, she does have lots of experience on 'non-aerospace vehicles'," I justified. I wasn't going to inflict the Department of Motor Vehicles on anyone, let alone someone who had suffered just by being displaced in spacetime. Far too cruel.
"I guess HAL wins this round."
"Oh, and speaking of computers, do you think HAL would be able to connect to Akari's laptop?"
"Oh, right, the future tech you were talking about in the forums." His voice really perked up at the thought of future tech, even if it was future consumer technology. As they say, the phone in our pockets is many times more powerful than the room-sized supercomputers of the Apollo Program. Also, consumer technology has a tendency not to suddenly decide to start killing humans – except, perhaps, Elon Musk's self-driving cars from Tesla Motors.
"Yeah, we can't make the thing connect to anything from our century. Doesn't even have a physical port, but we have root and shell on the built-in keyboard."
"I'm sure HAL and some of our other friendly AIs could take a look. Honestly, a few of them are getting stir crazy in here, and it would be nice to have a puzzle to look at. Just ship it over here and we'll look into it."
I thought about it for a moment, and decided that my best chance was probably with Kestrel, rather than the other help offered on the forum. It sounded like a fun problem for bored AIs, that's for certain. "Sure. How am I supposed to send future tech to you?"
"FedEx?"
"Insured for what, one million American dollars?"
"Honestly, the less attention that package gets, the better."
"I still think I'm going to overnight shipping."
"Whatever floats your non-aerospace vehicle," Kestrel fed my line back to me.
"It will be nice for her to connect to the wifi," I added.
"Oh, I almost forgot." Kestrel accused, "Seriously, swordfish-one?"
It took me a minute to figure out what he was on about, which was that the cheeky bugger had cracked my wifi password from across the country. "That's Swordfish-one-exclamation point. The bang makes it more secure."
"There are such things as lists of common passwords, you know. And yours—"
"Hey, it's got more than eight characters, a capital letter, a lowercase letter, a number, and a special character. How can it not be secure?"
Kestrel's mouth opened, then shut again; his brow furrowed, and he finally said, "You're trolling me, aren't you."
"Yes."
"Well, stop it."
"Hey, you're head of information security for Funtom Property by default. I have to make you feel like you've accomplished something with your security training."
"Just change the password, Labster. And check MACs when devices join the network."
"Like, I'm a software dev. Sysadmin stuff, you know, I'm astonished I could set up a network without reversing my crossover cable. I'm not looking forward to extending the network to the next few floors."
"Maybe I can come up with something for you. Send me the floor plans, and I'll have the hardware sent to you."
"Wow, thanks!"
"Yeah, I think I'd like to work on hardware that doesn't talk back to me for a change of pace."
"Hang in there, Kestrel!"
"I will, thanks!"
We ended the call, which had to be one of the best business videoconference calls I had ever made. Who knew that adding a homicidal AI to the mix would actually improve meetings?
I logged back into the forum to update everyone on my decision regarding the laptop:
Labster Wrote:Thanks for all of your advice, everyone.
I'm not sure Kazari could review the wireless signal alone. The protocol is only half of the story – it's probably using different spectrum and might need more sensitive hardware. We'll throw her some of the software later. I'm sure Washuu-chan could figure it out in a few minutes, but let's not waste a scientist on an engineer's job. Since we only have the one device, I think I'll go ahead and send it to Kestrel. I just wish I could figure out a way to back up the data before I send, y'know?
I got a reply pretty fast:
Washuu-chan Wrote:Of course I could figure it out in a few minutes, but what's the fun in that?
But seriously, I'm kind of busy with research right now anyway.
This drew a quick follow-up from Garnett:
Garnett Wrote:How are you even on this forum? It's for apartment managers only.
She replied:
Washuu-chan Wrote:I don't mean to boast, but I am the greatest scientist who ever lived in two different universes!
4. Taking a Breather
Monday, September 19, 2016
11:30 AM PT
"Now now, don't you think it's time to calm down? You've been angry for the entire walk home," I overheard Alicia say as she came up the steps to the first floor.
I glanced outside to the landing, and right behind her was Akira, looking right pissed off. "I know, I know, but every time I think about that man I get so angry!" she fumed.
Alicia gestured as if to hold something down. "Deep breaths, Akira. Deep breaths."
Akira obliged, taking four deep breaths while standing still outside on the east landing.
"All better?"
"Not one bit!"
"Ara ara ara," Alicia vocalized.
"The nerve! How could he say that to you, of all people!" Akira pounded her feet into the building, and announced quite loudly, "House meeting at noon. Everyone better come!" She looked at me, and said, "You too!" before storming off into her room to sulk for half an hour.
After standing there stunned for a moment, I asked Alicia, "Wow, what happened to her?"
"Akira and I… had a bad job interview."
"It sure sounds like it."
"It's been a long time since I've seen her this angry, but she'll get over it soon."
We decided to meet in No. 4, as Alicia had rescued that lovely set of carved wooden chairs from an antique shop, and thus was the only apartment yet to be able to provide seating for everyone.
It also provided us mortadella sandwiches on french rolls with some fresh grapes, thanks to the foresight of Alicia and Akari. After everyone's appetite was sated, we were finally able to get Alicia to discuss what happened earlier.
She explained, "So this morning, we went to talk to the harbormaster. He was a pleasant man, a sheriff in fact. I explained that we planned to operate a gondola service. He told us that there is no gondola guild here, and that we're free to start taking on clients on our own terms, once we obtain a simple business license."
"He also explained that there was already a gondola service in Marina del Rey. So we decided to check out the place, and see if we could work for that company. Unfortunately, I don't believe any such arrangement will be possible."
"Why not?" Athena asked.
Akira answered it, "Because the man there thinks only men can be gondoliers."
"What?" Alice blurted. "That's so lame."
"He told Alicia that he only hired men with the strength to be real gondoliers, not actresses researching a part."
"What the!" Akia slammed both hands down on the table. "How dare he! To say that to Alicia! To you too, Akira!"
"Now now," Alicia explained, "Thank you for your support, but I'm confident in my own abilities. And in all of yours, as well."
Akira took a deep breath, and managed to stay silent this time.
"So…" Aika asked, "Where does that leave us?"
Everyone was silent for a moment, until Alice decided to say the obvious thing, "I guess we can just start up our old companies here."
Akira said, "That's right. Himeya and Aria Company and Orange Planet can all show these boys how it's supposed to be done!"
Alice rolled her eyes. "It's kind of weird to compete when there's only the six of us."
"Yeah, we should all work together to show how amazing we are," Akari agreed.
Akira said, "Oh? Afraid of losing to Himeya, pigtails?"
Akari's face went blank. "Not really, but now I am?"
Athena was blunt: "Haven't you forgotten us, Akira?"
Akira's eyebrows disappeared under her chestnut bangs. "I suppose it can't be helped, we'll need to work together." The younger set looked pretty ecstatic about this idea, jumping up and down, while the adults looked at each other with knowing smiles.
Aika proudly declared, "As heir to Himeya, I welcome you to my company."
"Wait, aren't you going to work for Orange Planet with everyone else?" Alice asked.
Alicia said, "I thought you were going to work for Aria Company."
It became clear pretty fast that we had a 2-2-2 tie for the winning company name, at which point a lot of eyeballs turned to me. I reasoned, "Orange Planet doesn't even make sense on Earth, and Himeya probably won't catch on with Americans," I reasoned. "But Aria Company… that sounds just about right."
"Meh. Makes sense, I guess," Alice assented.
"President Aria, you have the final say. Should we hire these four to Aria Company?" Alicia asked the white-furred cat.
"Punyuu!!!"
I started clapping, and so did Alicia, which made everyone else a little self-conscious.
Aika said tentatively, "This is a good plan and all, but I don't have to start wearing blue uniforms now, do I? It's really not my color."
Alice concluded, "We even don't have any extra uniforms, dummy."
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
7:00 AM PT
The sun rose the next morning to another beautiful summer day. Along the Southern California coast, early summer is usually cool and cloudy, subjected to the May Gray and June Gloom. But this was turning out to be one of those pleasant days in the late summer and early autumn, where the sky and ocean shared a brilliant blue hue.
Of course, I wasn't awake to see the sun rise, having set my alarm to wake me at the still-ungodly hour of nine. Alicia wanted to go through the remodel plan with me in the morning, and I sure needed the help.
She showed up outside my room just on time, wearing a cheap set of drugstore reading glasses in front of her blue eyes.
"Thanks for offering to help!"
"It's no problem at all. I just decided that if we're going to live here, we might as well make it really nice."
"Well, thank you. And wait, are you saying that this place is a dump?" I smiled.
Alicia giggled a little.
"We do need to get this place in livable shape, and fast. I'm not sure, but I get the feeling that we might get more... travelers, like you."
"I see. Of course. Maybe by solving our issues, we can prepare for more tenants better. There are some issues that we'd like to address, like the quality of the appliances, and the issue of the bidets."
"Oh, right, bidets. I'm not sure about the plumbing, and—"
We were about to sit down, when we heard the piercing beep of a truck's backup alarm. We looked out the window to see the front of a pickup with some sort of trailer making a couple passes to parallel park next to the apartment. We headed downstairs to get a better look at exactly what was going on.
What stood along the alley, just under the southern balconies of our building was a trailer bearing a thirty-foot long wooden gondola, covered by three tarpaulins. At the front end was a tractor truck, with the logotype for Ekman Transport painted on the side.
After finishing parallel parking the boat trailer, a short black woman with long, natural hair got out of the cab. She called in her Texan accent, "Is Alicia Florence or, uh," she read the form a little more carefully, "Akira Ferrari one of y'all?"
All of the tenants were downstairs by now, so Alicia and Akira dutifully went to sign for receipt of the boat.
"Oh, that's right, I've got a letter for you too. She opened up her posse box holding the form, and pulled out an embossed envelope. "Someone really likes you gals."
Akira answered, "Oh, you know men, always trying to make up for things with their gifts."
The deliverywoman let out a belly laugh at that, "Heck, wish I could find me one of them that'd buy me a make-up boat!" She started unhitching the boat while I helped the younger undines in removing the ropes and covers on the gondola. A couple of minutes later, she drove off in her truck, leaving us one gondola richer.
Meanwhile, Alicia read the letter aloud:
Quote:Dear Undines,
Here is the first of the gondolas I promised. This was actually my own gondola, but it has been in drydock for quite a long time, so I give it to you. Please take good care of it. As for the other gondolas, they will take months to complete; the next one will be delivered to you by mid October. Such is the price of having gondolas for which you can truly be proud.
Best of luck,
Sebastian
"Freaking sweet!" said Aika, with her characteristic grin.
"An authentic gondola of Venezia, here in Venice. Wow!"
"Are you sure about that, Akari?" Alicia quizzed.
"Hm..." she looked over the craft, "Oh, wait, you're right. I guess I still have a lot to learn to become a prima," Akari said as she scratched her head abashedly.
"Huh? What is it?" Aika asked.
"Look at the prow. There are nine rebbi instead of six." I looked too, and saw that Akari was right – it looked like there were too many tines on the front of the boat.
"That's really weird," Alice said.
"Why would someone do that?" Aika's question was seeking an answer, but simultaneously rhetorical because she didn't expect one.
"Is that a number associated with this city?"
I answered, "Not that I know of. I can't really think of a number that represents our city. Maybe three-one-oh? It's an area code. For phone numbers." They looked at me like I was from another planet. "Yeah I don't get people either."
Alicia stepped up to the boat, and started inspecting the craft closely. "It looks like it's in pretty good shape, for how long it's been sitting around. I'm not seeing any dry rot."
Aika blew at the thick layer of dust atop the gondola's seat, causing a brown cloud to drift in Alice's direction.
"Hey!" Alice coughed. "Watch what you're doing."
Aika stared at Alice across the gondola for a few seconds. Then she blew again in the same direction, even harder this time.
The soot meant Alice's skin tone now roughly matched the color of Athena's; her eyes finally reopened when the dust cleared. "Ok, that's it, I'm gonna get you!" Alice chased Aika counterclockwise around the boat for next couple of minutes, while the rest of us focused on inspecting the boat itself (and avoiding getting hit by the running girls).
Akira was examining the hull. "What's this black stuff? Where in the world did Sebastian take this boat?" The boat itself was painted the traditional black, but an even darker layer of soot lay affixed to the bottom of the hull, giving it a stygian hue.
Akira finally tired of the squabble and grabbed Aika and Alice by the collar, one by one, as they passed. With a scowl on her face, she roared, "Looks like you two have plenty of energy for cleaning, so get to it!"
Alicia looked to Akari, adding, "If you please?"
"Hahi!"
And so with cleaning tools and buckets scavenged from inside the house, the junior team set to scrubbing down their new gondola in the alley behind the apartment; the only interruption to their task was an intramural water fight with the garden hoses.
By the time lunch time rolled around, I came back downstairs with the primas to see how things had progressed. Although they gave the impression of leaving the hard work the their trainees, I had seen them work just as hard on the task of decorating their rooms upstairs. But as I saw in the anime, the art of the prima undine was to make the difficult task of rowing look effortless, a quality they brought to all of their work.
Alicia walked out first, bearing a box of sandwiches. "Okay girls, break time. Who's hungry for sandwiches?"
Akari raised her hand, which made the rest of the washing crew follow suit. And Athena too, for that matter, whose stomach emitted a low rumble.
As we sat atop a floral print blanket on the next parking space over, while everyone was eating, Alicia said, "It looks like you did a good job." She turned to Akira, "Does she look ready to float?"
Akira responded with a teasing tone, "Hmm... I'm not sure. Well, let's ask a potential customer, as they are the most important judges of our service. What do you think, Brent? Would you pay for a ride in this gondola?"
I looked it over. The boat looked like a proper gondola now, rather than a relic of the 1800s. Much better. "With you? Any day of the week," I said.
Akira made a Mona Lisa smile, Akari gave a wide grin, and Alicia simply giggled. "Sounds like our customer approves, Akira."
We finished eating, and decided that there was no time like the present for gondola launches. I hopped in my truck, and lined up to hitch the boat, poorly. After maneuvering the truck forwards and backwards a few times, I eventually managed to get the trailer ball positioned right.
Alice asked, "Are you sure you've done this before?"
"Yes, and I'm still terrible at it." Actually hitching the boat trailer was the easy part, taking only about a minute to drop the hitch, link a chain, and plug in the light cord. The prima undines all hopped into my truck, with Athena and Alicia squeezed uncomfortably into the back seat.
"Okay, we're off to the boat launch," Akira called over the roar of the white Ford F-150's engine.
"We'll meet you on the canals!" Akia called back.
I was going to drive to the boat launch in Marina Del Rey, but Akira told me there was a closer ramp hidden between the westbound and eastbound lanes of Venice Boulevard. They were already better locals than me in some ways. It was a small ramp in the middle of a mid-street parking lot, just for the local residents to access the canals. From this vantage point below the street, you could see that both sides of the street had bridges over the canal, but immediately past the bridge on the north side, the canal abruptly ended in a concrete wall.
In any case, no one else was using the boat launch here, so I was able to back the trailer into the water immediately.
Akira reasoned, "I suppose it makes the most sense for Alicia to try it first."
Alicia nodded. Going by the manga, Alicia was the virtuosa gondoliera, a prodigy of the nautical and social aspects of being an undine. While she had many charms, it was her oar-work and graceful boat control, learned from the legendary Ametsuchi herself, that cemented her status as one of the Three Water Fairies of Neo Venezia.
"I'd like to try it out, too," Athena added.
"It's really tight back there, isn't it?" I asked. Athena made her confounded face, which was even funnier in reality than it was in anime linework. This truck was not going to cut it for transporting all of these people in the long term, but it was the right tool for the job now.
Everyone got out of the car, and all three undines hopped up into the gondola. I started rolling the trailer slowly into the water. And… it floated!
"We have a gondola!" Alicia started clapping, and then all of us joined in.
Athena untied all of the ropes, and Alicia took up her post standing at the stern of the boat. The blonde took the gondola on a quick loop under Venice Boulevard with graceful strokes of the oar, as if she could move the 700 kilogram boat without any effort at all. It was just beautiful. As she came back around, she called out to me, "It handles wonderfully! We'll meet you back near the apartments."
I pulled up the ramp, secured the straps and ropes, and raced back.
After I parked, I walked across a couple blocks to the canals. About a block or so "upstream" the junior undines were hanging out, so I went over to join them. "Why are you all hanging out here?"
"Hi Brent! Akari convinced the owners to let us berth here. I take it the gondola is in good shape?"
"The gondola split into four pieces, there were no survivors," I deadpanned.
"Ridiculous remarks are forbidden."
It didn't take long for our gondola to start making its way down the Grand Canal, a long, mostly straight natural waterway of the former Ballona wetlands. This end of it was lined with a mix of two and three-story houses, but past the wide concrete bridge for Washington Boulevard was a primary school and a few more apartment buildings. Alice was the first to spot the gondola, uttering a simple, "There."
As she emerged from under a tall, wooden pedestrian bridge, Athena, who was now the gondolier, waved to us – and we all waved back.
And that was when Akari started crying, still wearing a wide smile on her face. "I thought that – I thought that everything was lost because of me – for all of you."
"No, Akari," Aika interjected.
"It's okay now, you see. That's our old life, coming up the canal to meet us." Akari drew all of us into a group hug, even me. "Everything's going to be okay now." Tears were streaming down her face.
With wide eyes, Alice said, "Yes, it really is."
President Aria summarized, "Punyuu!"
"Why am I crying now?" Aika complained.
By the time the gondola arrived, everyone had gathered their composure. They moored the boat next to the rose-colored house, and disembarked.
"It moves like a dream," Athena said.
Alicia agreed, "It's in excellent shape."
Akari begged, "Our turn?"
"I'm afraid not; how can I offer our only gondola to trainees when Akira has a customer waiting?" Alicia gestured at me.
"Huh?" Akira stared into Alicia's smiling eyes.
Alicia giggled.
Akira sighed, then boarded the gondola.
"Ah!" Aika's interest was piqued. Somehow, saying that I was just making a joke earlier didn't seem like the best idea right now.
Akira held out her hand, a practiced gesture that was still warm and inviting. "Please take my hand as you step aboard, sir." I did just that. Somehow, it didn't even seem like a joke any more.
Akira piloted the boat up the Grand Canal, to the waters she hadn't yet navigated. It didn't make much difference to an experienced undine like herself, shallow waters like these were nothing to worry about. Especially in the absence of other boat traffic.
"What do you think of our canals?" I asked her.
"Strange. But not in a bad way. Just unfamiliar."
She rowed on for perhaps twenty more strokes, before adding, "I haven't faced anything this unfamiliar since I was still a Single. But, you know, it feels good to face a new challenge."
We passed a rowboat and a canoe tied up in front of a house, which bobbed just the slightest bit in our wake. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, Akira."
"Normally, I would tell my passenger about all of the sights they were seeing, but I'm afraid I know so little about these waters." Akira's smooth and steady stroke refuted that statement – she knew plenty about the waters, it was the shore she knew little about. "Would you care to tell me about this city?"
"Well, I don't know a whole lot; I didn't grow up here," I began. "These canals all started because a land developer called Abbot Kinney traveled to Europe, fell in love with Venice, and decided to turn some of this swampland into a tourist attraction. I imagine the story was the same in Neo Venezia. Anyway, Kinney had all of these canals dug, and built a pier to attract tourists.
"All that was before cars took over Southern California. Then they started filling up the canals to turn them into streets. Ended up filling in most of them."
"What a shame!"
"That's Los Angeles as it used to be, always looking forward, without thinking about what came before. Anyway, about the time I was born, people started wanting to save the canals, because they made the place special. And, as you can see, lots of fancy homes are here now, so they must have done something right."
Akira's easy stroke propelled us through the Howland Canal, making but the smallest of splashes. It was quiet in the heart of Venice's canal district, until a passing seagull decided to let out series of loud cries.
"He must be looking for some friends," Akira posited.
"More likely looking for some chum."
"Heh, so he is."
"You are different on the water," I said. "More calm and composed."
"So are you."
I thought on it a few seconds before replying, "Got me there. We have so much to do back at the apartment."
Sensing my mood becoming more stressful, Akira added, "When I'm in a gondola, I'm able to let go of all of those things on land, and just live in the moment. There are so many things to worry about, but out here it's just the water and the sun and the clouds, and I move forward one stroke at a time."
"So, it's not just because you're really good at this, Crimson Rose?"
Akira laughed. "It will be good for everyone else to get some time on the water. They all love the gondola – almost as much as me!"
Now it was my turn to laugh. "They can't compete, can they?"
"Nope, but they can try!" She twirled her oar like a quarterstaff, striking at imaginary opponents.
The thought crossed my mind that maybe Alicia asked Akira to take me out as the first customer because she was the one who needed it the most. Maybe I did too. Or maybe Alicia was just being nice. All I know is that if I asked her, all I'd get is a giggle in reply – or if I really pressed her, an "ara ara".
A passenger jet taking off from LAX banked across the sky in front of me, turning all the way around to fly over the land.
"You know, I haven't taken a customer in a black gondola for a long, long time. It brings back memories."
"Why's that?"
"In Neo Venezia, prima undines ride in white gondolas; the black gondolas are reserved for single undines. It's so that our customers know what they're paying for."
"I always thought all gondolas were black."
"In old— well, in Venezia, gondolas are black because the water is dirty. On Aqua, it's a sign of the purity of our water in Neo Venezia."
"You know, you're rowing through muddy seawater. This used to be a swamp."
Akira nodded, and kept rowing. "Maybe we'll use the tradition of black gondolas in California."
"Probably a good call."
I leaned back in the seat a bit, and looked at the nearly clear sky, with only a few long contrails coming across. It was a beautiful day with a kind sun, casting enough light to make your skin feel warm. But then a little gust of salt air would come up from the ocean to cool you right back down. Growing up in a beach city, I almost never notice the smell of salt in the air any more, but I noticed it then.
I noticed lots of things I don't normally notice, like sound of the soft splash of the water against the sides of the gondola. I saw the intricate patterns chiseled into the black wood covering the forward end of the gondola, right below the curved bow. We passed by a bush in full bloom, covered with deep red roses. And of course, I saw the tall, strong woman in white behind me, rowing the gondola with a joyful smile.
And I never pulled my phone out of my pocket the entire time.
By the time we returned to our newly adopted mooring place along the canal, it seems that everyone had already gone home, so Akira and I walked back to the apartment together.
"We never decided what the fare was, did we. I'm supposed to be your customer, right?"
"It's not important. I don't even know what we'll charge," Akira shrugged. "You've done a lot for us already."
"I know, but that was really special. I feel like I owe you something."
She thought about it for a while, and then her countenance suddenly turned grumpy.
"How about a installing a bidet already?"
Omake
"Sebastian, why do you wear that smile while we're stuck in this ghastly traffic?"
"Sorry, milord. I was just thinking about how of all of the Nazis' evil inventions, none is so insidious as the Autobahn. It lures you in with the promise of speed, but every morning and evening the motorway inflicts suffering on those mortals who travel. Every day, they pollute their own homes in an effort to live in a better neighborhood. Truly, it is exquisite."
"Are you quite finished?" Ciel huffed.
The car jolted as Sebastian tapped the brakes, as a little Skoda darted in front of them. Ciel yelled, "Hey! Get out of our way, commoner!"
"Ah yes, road rage. That's the best part!"
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