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She asks me why,
I'm just a hairy guy.
She asks me why,
I'm just a hairy guy.
I'm hairy noon and night,
Hair that's a fright.
I'm hairy high and low,
Don't ask me why, don't know.
It's not for lack of bread, like the Grateful Dead, darlin',
Give me a head with hair,
Long beautiful hair,
Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen,
Give me down to there hair,
Shoulder length or longer,
Here, baby, there, momma, ev'rywhere, daddy, daddy,
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair.
Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair.
I let it fly in the breeze and get caught in the trees,
Give a home to the fleas in my hair,
A home for fleas (yeah)
A hive for bees (yeah)
A nest for birds,
There ain't no words for the beauty, the splendor,
The wonder of my
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair.
Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair.
I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy,
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty,
Oily, greasy, fleecy, shining,
Gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen,
Knotted, polka dotted, twisted, beaded, braided,
Powdered, flowered and confettied,
Bangled, tangled, spangled and spaghettied.
Oh say, can you see my eyes?
If you can then my hair's too short.
Down to here, down to there,
Down to there, down to where it stops by itself.
They'll be ga ga at the go go when they see me in my toga,
My toga made of blond, brilliantined, biblical hair.
My hair like Jesus wore it,
Hallelujah, I adore it,
Hallelujah; Mary loved her son, why don't my mother love me?
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair.
Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair.
Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair.
Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair.
Hair that's a fright.
I'm hairy high and low,
Don't ask me why, don't know.
It's not for lack of bread, like the Grateful Dead, darlin',
Give me a head with hair,
Long beautiful hair,
Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen,
Give me down to there hair,
Shoulder length or longer,
Here, baby, there, momma, ev'rywhere, daddy, daddy,
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair.
Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair.
I let it fly in the breeze and get caught in the trees,
Give a home to the fleas in my hair,
A home for fleas (yeah)
A hive for bees (yeah)
A nest for birds,
There ain't no words for the beauty, the splendor,
The wonder of my
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair.
Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair.
I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy,
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty,
Oily, greasy, fleecy, shining,
Gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen,
Knotted, polka dotted, twisted, beaded, braided,
Powdered, flowered and confettied,
Bangled, tangled, spangled and spaghettied.
Oh say, can you see my eyes?
If you can then my hair's too short.
Down to here, down to there,
Down to there, down to where it stops by itself.
They'll be ga ga at the go go when they see me in my toga,
My toga made of blond, brilliantined, biblical hair.
My hair like Jesus wore it,
Hallelujah, I adore it,
Hallelujah; Mary loved her son, why don't my mother love me?
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair.
Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair.
Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair.
Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair.
Hair, from the musical Hair
Another "utility" song, this one grows a full head of hair (shoulder length or longer) on everyone in the area of effect.
This is most useful for people recovering from chemotherapy, of course.
It also has the combat effect of (a) making helmets no longer fit properly, and (b) obscuring everyone's vision. ("Oh say, can you see my eyes? If you can then my hair's too short.") It also pisses off anyone who thinks men shouldn't wear their hair longer than a crewcut, as they suddenly have at least a shoulder-length bob...
-Rob Kelk
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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