Ladies and Gentlemen,
I think you are over reacting and or making incorrect assumptions.
1) I generally feel better when I am clean shaven. (But correlation does not prove causation.)
2) These people are obviously happy purely from the quality of their shaving experience.
3) Yes, I guess this does include the girls. No, I don't care to think about that.
4) There are many varieties of LCL across fanfic. I figure at least one of them must be useful as a really good shaving lubricant. Also, others for other personal purposes that I don't care to think about.
5) If I am a good model for Gendo Ikari, I can think of at least one thing to make him smile like that might not be all that offensive to experience.
a) Go to the reading room of the Miskatonic University Library.
b) Read, cover to cover, a particular biography of Mao Zedong. If need be, get the copy in the special collection with the Krummerman and Sheng glosses.
c) Fail the roll to disbelieve.
d) Check yourself into Arkham to help recover.
e) Recover, with or without the help of The Batman.
f) Realize, that as Mao took over entirely around 1950, and died in the mid 1970s, and this is 2012 at the earliest, even if you live in the People's Republic of China, it isn't the People's Republic of China as ruled by a living Mao Zedong.
g) If you are anything like me, or Gendo Ikari, this will make you more than that happy, all other things being the same.
h) This isn't anything too uncomfortable, as long as you are not a wimp with your reading material, unwilling to understand uncomfortable things, or in need of help when recovering SAN loss. (Because being institutionalized would be annoying.)
'Ritsuko Akagi, the truth is, I really do not like Mao Zedong.'
'Heh. You liar.'
BAAM
6) More seriously, there are a lot of things, not really objectionable to anybody, that would make anybody that happy. Like a really enjoyable shave.
7) I, personally, would not care for the described shaving experience. I consider a a shaving method as I would a tool. I prefer that tools do the job well, with the minimum of fuss, attention, and bother. If something is very much enjoyable in of itself, it entirely defeats this quality of being a good tool.
8) Gendo being clean shaven makes him totally better, like the Romans who we got the clean shaven mores from.
a) The Romans are great, and their greatness should be imitated.
b) Shaving was one of the few personal habits of the Romans that wasn't vile.
c) Safety razors are totally better than whatever it is that the Romans used.
d) Still, I probably wouldn't care for whatever fancy kind Schick is trying to sell here. I prefer the cheaper ones, and bar handsoap or plain water is less of a hassle than cream or gel.
9) I wanna go shave.
If I didn't manage to hit somebody's 'Should Not Be' reaction yet, well, we've secretly replaced your shaving or other personal lubricant of choice with LCL from Sic Semper Morituri. Let's see if you notice.
Note that LCL from Sic Semper Morituri is a fairly hazardous substance, and it says something about somebody when they don't die on contact.
Not a fanfic crossover, but I'd say that a diesel-electric shaver would be one of those devices that is very unlikely to be worth engineering.
We've secretly switched Carus from Drake's Lord of the Isles with Yami from Yu-gi-oh. Let's watch both worlds fall into screaming madness when both prove inadequate substitutes for the other.
