This area is the "catch-all" zone for conversations on any topic that doesn't already have its own forum.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

WARNING -- WARNING -- WARNING -- WARNING
This text file is incomplete, and needs a significant rewrite. Edited to remove most spoilers, but some may still remain. Typos abound. Plot holes exist. Exceedingly short in length. Details have _changed_ since the last edit. The Moon's in the Seventh House, and Jupiter's aligned with Mars. It's raining frogs and blood. Bob Schroeck is actually a Vorlon secret agent. I work for UNIT. Beware dragons.
Read at your own risk.

(EXCERPT BEGINS)
Industrial Might and Logic

in association with

Loon 'n' Toon Productions

proudly present

Legion's Quest: Girls, Girls, Girls
(A Drunkard's Walk Side Story)

by

Whichever of us is foolish enough to claim credit

I. Dinner For How Many?!

George: You know the kind of girls I like. They've got to be
lovers... laughers... dancers...
Edmund: And bonkers.
-- "Blackadder the Third"

"That's not a little girl! That's Godzilla with bangs!"
-- Montana Max

"You're certain?" Ed Becerra stared in baffled fascination at
the mottled brown-and-yellow planet on the view screen.

Minerva suppressed the desire to roll her eyes. "Absolutely,
b'wana. I've run the scans a dozen times from a dozen different
orbits. It *could* have been Earth, but never made it. Stellar
positions say it's the late 20th Century, but the planet is all
bare rock and reducing atmosphere, with a surface temperature to
rival Venus'. And no evidence of even the building blocks of
life." She glanced at the view screen, and the image shimmered
through several successive magnifications until they were staring
at a weathered mountain chain that bore a faint resemblance to
the islands of Japan. "It's dead, Jim."

"*Very* funny, Min. Besides, you're a lot easier on the eyes
than DeForest Kelly ever was." He frowned and stood up. Turning
around, he walked over to an incongruous pole of wood and crystal
that seemed to grow organically from the metal floor of the room.
Merged with the very structure of the Calypso by the near-
immortal elf-mage Valanna Ellantora (formerly the dimensional
traveler known as Twister), it controlled the starship's semi-
random transfers from universe to universe. "Now, why did you
bring us *here*?" he mused out loud. "What the hell is there for
me to do or learn on a sterile and poisonous alternate Earth?"
He shook his head. "It's got to be a mistake. Min, prepare for
rotation, random setting."

She clasped her palms together, closed her eyes and bowed at the
waist. "Inshallah, it shall be as you ask, o mighty Sultan."

"Min..." Ed mock-growled, and Minerva unbent, a playful grin on
her face.

"Destination set, boss. Ready to rotate on your mark," she said.

He gave one last, long glance at the screen. "Rotate, girl."

Nothing happened.

"Um, boss?" Minerva began tentatively.

Ed didn't turn away from the screen. "That damned staff isn't
letting us move, is it?"

"In a word, no."

He swore softly while rubbing the scar on his forehead.

"You could kick it, if it'd make you feel better," Min offered.

"And pull back a smoking stub where my foot used to be," Ed
chuckled, then sighed. "I don't think that'd do us much good,
pretty lady. And I'm half afraid it'd piss the thing off." He
shook his head with a wry smile. "So I think I'll go catch some
much-needed shut-eye."

"Good," Minerva muttered, sotto voce, and Ed attempted to ignore
her with dignity.

"Wake me if anything develops," he added as he headed for his
stateroom.

* * *

*Boss! BOSS! WAKE UP!*

Minerva's panicked cry cut right through the leaden haze of his
sleep, jolting him awake and to his feet almost before he was
aware of it. "Min! What's wrong, girl?" he called to the empty
air as he unthinkingly flung himself out the stateroom door and
into the passageway that lead to the Calypso's bridge.

*Energy surge, b'wana, a *big* one! The signature looks a little
like one of Twister's dimension-hopping spells.*

"Seems like we have visitors, then," Ed replied as he ran down
the hallway. "How far away, Min? Same orbit? Higher?"

*No, Boss!* the panic in her mental voice escalated. *The surge
is coming from Cargo 7!*

Ed skidded to a halt. "*What?*"

*Energy scan spiking right now, Boss! There's a gate opening up
in the middle of the floor!*

Ed took off again. "I'm there, baby."

The cargo bays were farther away than the bridge, but one of the
benefits of a dimensionally transcendent craft is that nothing is
ever *too* far away. Ed arrived at the control booth for Cargo
Bay 7 in less than a minute. The door was dogged open, and
Minerva stood just inside. "They're still coming through," she
whispered as he slid into the darkened room.

There was a control booth for each cargo bay and hold in the
ship, a large room with transparent walls set high above the
floor. A foreman and his assistant could operate all the hold's
automated cargo-handling equipment from its control panels. A
ladder and a small elevator connected the booth with the broad
floor it overlooked.

Carefully, Ed stepped up to the angled sheet of transparent
aluminum that formed the booth's main window. He studied the
whirling hole in space-time below and the small, diverse group
that stood in front and to the sides of it. "Min, check me. Am
I seeing what I think I'm seeing?"
(EXCERPT ENDS)
-- Bob

Edit:  Replaced text munged during one of the changes in Yuku ownership with properly wrapped text.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

I've got a dream 'bout an angel on the beach
And the perfect waves are starting to come
His hair is flying out in ribbons of gold
And his touch has got the power to stun
I've got a dream 'bout an angel in the forest
Enchanted by the edge of a lake
His body's flowing in the jewels of light
And the earth below is starting to shake
But I don't see any angels in the city
I don't hear any holy choirs sing
And if I can't get an angel
I can still get a boy
And a boy'd be the next best thing
The next best thing to an angel
A boy'd be the next best thing
I've got a dream 'bout a boy in a castle
And he's dancing like a cat on the stairs
He's got the fire of a prince in his eyes
And the thunder of a drum in his ears
I've got a dream 'bout a boy on a star
Lookin' down upon the rim of the world
He's there all alone and dreamin' of someone like me
I'm not an angel but at least I'm a girl
I've got a dream when the darkness is over
We'll be lyin' in the rays of the sun
But it's only a dream and tonight is for real
You'll never know what it means
But you'll know how it feels
It's gonna be over (over)
Before you know it's begun
(Before you know it's begun)
It's all we really got tonight
Stop your cryin' hold on (tonight)
Before you know it it's gone (tonight)
Tonight is what it means to be young
Tonight is what it means to be young
Let the revels begin
Let the fire be started
We're dancing for the restless and the broken-hearted
Let the revels begin
Let the fire be started
We're dancing for the desperate and the broken-hearted
Let the revels begin (Tonight is what it means to be young)
Let the fire be started (Before you know it it's gone)
We're dancing for the restless and the broken-hearted
Let the revels begin
Let the fire be started
We're dancing for the desperate and the broken-hearted
Say a prayer in the darkness for the magic to come
No matter what it seems
Tonight is what it means to be young
Before you know it it's gone
Tonight is what it means to be young
Before you know it it's gone
I've got a dream when the darkness is over
We'll be lyin' in the rays of the sun
But it's only a dream and tonight is for real
You'll never know what it means
But you'll know how it feels
It's gonna be over (over)
Before you know it's begun
It's all we really got tonight
Stop your cryin' hold on (tonight)
Before you know it it's gone (tonight)
Tonight is what it means to be young
Tonight is what it means to be young
The things they say
And then the things they do
Nothin's gonna stop us if our aim is true
The things they say
And then the things they do
Nothing's gonna stop us if our aim is true
The things they say
And then the things they do
Nothin's gonna stop us if our aim is true
Tonight is what it means to be young
-- Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young, Fire, Inc. (from the movie "Streets of Fire")
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

I may run and hide
When you're screamin' my name, all right
But let me tell you now
There are prices to fame, all right
All of our time spent in flashes of light
[Chorus:]
All you people can't you see, can't you see
How your love's affecting our reality
Every time we're down
You can make it right
And that makes you larger than life
Looking at the crowd
And I see your body sway, c'mon
Wishin' I could thank you in a different way, c'mon
Cuz all of your time spent keeps us alive
[Chorus]
All of your time spent keeps us alive
[Chorus]
Yeah, every time we're down
Yeah, you can make it right
Yeah, and that's what makes you larger than life
[Chorus]
-- Larger Than Life, Backstreet Boys

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

"When this baby disintigrates, it disintegrates!"
www.duckdodgers.com
--Sam
"Well, whaddya know. It disintegrated!"

I havent seen the random quotes for about a week now, so I thought I'd ask if anyone else is seeing them.
Cause, If you are, its clearly a problem with my browser."I was an Otaku before those kids came along and changed the meaning of the word."
-- HM "Howling Mad" Wilson to more than one team-mate.
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children

I've just found the online catalog for a mail order company that's near and dear to Doug's heart:
home.nc.rr.com/tuco/loone.../acme.html
Enjoy!

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

I've updated a few pages over on my website today, most notably the top page, but I've also put up A Brush With The Past, Evil Midnight Lurker's DW spamfic.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

Drop Doug on the Well World. 1560 different new races to try to figure out. The possibility of actually becoming one of them (although Doug of all people should be able to figure a way around this). Solving the Master Equation (you know how hackers always say "Look, God, all I need is a few minutes with the source code and a quick recompile"? Well, the Well is a terminal with root access....)

...this DW spamfic has been floating around in my head for quite a while now, and it's getting tired of the decor.
Anyone who watched children's TV in the '70s and '80s should be able to figure this one out.
Title: none. *shrug* Suggestions welcome...

Doug had been trekking through a combined rain forest, jungle, and swamp for nearly a month now. Was this one of those cliched, unlikely Hollywood worlds with only one terrain type? He'd run across stranger places, but few this boring.
No large dangerous wildlife, no swarms of biting insects--there were creatures here, yes, but none of them seemed the least bit interested in him. The mangrove-like trees were spread out just far enough that gravbike travel was practical, not far enough to see any great distance ahead.
Nothing to do but travel and try for a gatesong.
It was just as he began to consider abandoning travel for a permanent campsite that he ran into the City.
It lay on a low island in the middle of the largest lake he'd found yet: a natural moat surrounding a fortified complex the size of ancient Babylon or Troy, like them fallen into ruin. The city was lifeless, and had been so probably for centuries; judging by the state of the buildings and city walls, it had fallen to a siege.
Those walls were very strange indeed. Even in their current state of advanced decay, it was clear what they had been. Why the city's builders had relied on such an oddity... well, who could say now? Certainly not Doug.
Not in the absence of any information--the city had evidently possessed a high level of technology, but everything was gone or smashed to bits now. Bookshelves lay empty, computer casings were stripped of their contents; the inhabitants must have taken nearly everything with them when they abandoned this place. The inhabitants, or the besiegers?
Whatever had happened here so long ago, it would remain a mystery; Doug found his exit less than two weeks after discovering the ruins, and elected to use it a few days later. In all that time he'd found only one cryptic message, a graffito presumably left by the conquering army, carved so deeply into one of the larger buildings that it had survived long years of weathering. It was simple, straightforward, and said nothing but what was already obvious about the city's fall.
Given his new understanding of World-As-Myth, Doug mused, perhaps he'd find out someday just what had happened here. Or perhaps not. Whatever happened, that last sinister message would remain in his thoughts for a long time to come. Five words that somehow chilled him to the bone:
WE MADE HOLES IN TEETH.
--Sam Ashley
"Down here I'm considered the apotheosis of cool."